Thank you all so much for holding space for me 💕🙏 You mean the world to me 😍

Hey lovelies 💕, 

I just feel so gratefull these days. I feel soooo happy to have created my own community on Instagram and on this blog. I felt scared to open up about some hard times that I faced in my life like that I was being bullied during high school, that I have anxiety, or the fact that I have feeling heartbroken and so low after my first love broke up with me. I’m so glad I did. 

I made this picture for all of you: THANKYOUUU! 💜💕😍 🙏🌻

The moment I choosed to let go of my mask, let go of sharing only the good stuff happening in my life, let go of my smile hiding stuff inside of me, was the moment I felt free. I’m so damn thankful to have chosen to open up and write about it online. I just always felt the need to write about it. I’m also journaling and had a diary in my childhood.

Thank you all for following me and holding space for me to be myself and be vulnerable 💕🙏 I thank the universe for all the beautiful people I have met online. We create such an amazing connection. Some great friendships are coming out of this and ahhh I’m just so extremely thankful for all of this 💜💕💜💕 I’m getting emotional.

I hope one day, I will create something even bigger of all of this. I want to do good things in the world and make beautiful connections. I want to support all kinds of people. I want equal rights for women and men. I want the stigma of mental health illnesses to end. I want to beat climate change. I want to travel the world, surf the waves and make beautiful memories. I want to fight for human rights. The lists goes on and on…. Maybe, one day I will have my own company to achieve all of this….. or work somewhere else who knows 😉

The moment I choosed to vent and be vulnerable was the moment I started to feel free. I deeply connect with all of you. I feel less alone in my journey of self love. I feel less alone in my thoughts and feelings. I don’t feel ashamed of any of it anymore. 

Writing is healing. We are all feeling the same things, just not always at the same time. Thank you all of being part of this. I love you guys. You are all so beautiful 💕💜🌸 Let’s change the world together! 

Much love,

Christina xoxo

I wish the political crisis in Spain is over soon… my heart hurts 💔😢

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

Catalonia is a region of Spain and wants to be indepented. Last Sunday there was a illegal referendum in Catalonia. The governement of Catalonia will declare that Catalonia will be indepented from Spain on monday. Most Spanish people are against it. Even people living in Catalonia are against it. There is a minority. I really hope this situation will be solved by the Spanish governement soon.

Hopefully, the leaders of Catalonia will be in jail soon. They are responsible for dividing the Spanish people and creating hate in our society. I’m so done with it. I just feel the need to write because my heart hurts 😢💔. 

Spain is its culture. Spain are the beautiful cities. Spain are the churches. Spain is its beautiful nature. Spain are the regions. Spain are the painters, writers and the singers. Spain are the citizens. Spain are the villages. Spain are the tapas and the fiesta. Spain is the goodness of the people. Spain is the king, police and military.

Spain is everything to me… 💜💜💜💕 

What is happening right now in Spain is breaking my heart. The independism of Catalonia is not going to be good for anybody. My heart is breaking when I see the hate which is creating to anyone who wear a Spanish flag. They call these people fascists. They don’t understand what the difference is between patriotism and nacionalism. To be a patriotist is being proud, being a nacionalist is thinking that your village is better than the other one. There’s a great difference between being proud & thinking you are better than others. 

I’m really proud to be half Spanish and half Dutch. I’ve grown up in two amazing and beautiful countries. In two democratic countries. I also feel a global citizen. We all belong to this world. It’s much better to be all united to beat wars and terrorism.

The hate between people only cause wars. Violence and hate is not the answer. I believe in a united Spain. A Spain which is based on democracy. I believe that the Spanish government is going to solve this problem soon. At the end, we all want the same that’s living in freedom and peace. 

I love Spain and want a united Spain! 💕

Much love,

xoxo

Pray for Las Vegas 😢🙏💕

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

Today I woke up with horrible news. The mass shooting which happened on a country festival in Las Vegas was unbelievable sad. It makes me feel heartboken. It makes me feel so sensitive. I always cry when something like this happens in the world. I care so much.

In what kind of world do we live? In a world full of hate? In a world with violence?

I don’t wanna live in this dark world anymore 😢 I’m done with hate. I’m done with violence. I’m done with terrorism. I’m just done with everything. I’m going to wonderland and never going back…. 

Something really need to change in the American policy of gun control now to prevent events like this shooting in Las Vegas today. They just have to ban all guns. I really find it unbelievable how this man of 64 years old could have 10 automatic guns in his hotel room?! That’s just insane. I hope a solution will come in the USA. 

I made this poem for today’s tragedy. My heart is with all of you 💜🙏😢 

Spread no hate, but love. Love your family and friends and say it and show it to them. Never take them for granted because you never know when will be the last time you see that person.

Much love & stay safe people 💕,

xoxo

I just want a united Spain 🌍💕

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

I just want to write something which is happening now in Spain. To make sure, I don’t want to talk that much of politics on my blog. I don’t want to spread hate. Today, I just feel the need to write because I’m feeling bad these days. This subject is just touching me really hard.

Spain is a constitutional monarchy. Spain has many autonomous regions such as Basque Country and Catolonia. They have their own language and government. Catolonia wants to be indepented from Spain. Today on the first of October they wanted to do a referendum but this was against the law. However, they did it but it was a illegal referendum. The police men were acting just the way they have to act.

So, today I woke up crying and so fucking anxious. I felt that my heart was beating so fast…. What’s happening is Spain today is fucked up 😢 I’m really scared. This isn’t good for my anxiety…. Hopefully I will feel okay soon. So many people and police men were injuried. I just hope thay both parties are going to talk and that there comes a solution.

So, as you know I’m half Spanish, half Dutch. I grew up in this two countries. To be honest, I have always felt more Spanish than Dutch. I was born in The Netherlands. When there were football matches for world cup or europe cup I remember that people were angry and bullying me for not supporting the dutch team. I felt scared and discriminated. Since then I never posted on social media that I am for the spanish team. Now, I don’t fucking care anymore.

I feel more spanish than dutch, because that’s just the way I feel. Nobody can judge me on that. All the time I had to go back to the Netherlands from holidays in Spain I cried so much. I always wanted lo live in Spain. Some people say to me well there’s a economic crisis blablabla you can’t find work. You know what I say to them now?

I’m 24 years old, I’m not a fucking baby anymore. One of my dreams is to work in Spain and live here. I already lived in Spain for a half year during my exhange and this last half year for my internship. I’m deeply in love with Spain. I’m going to find work in Spain and nobody is going against my dream 💜💫✌ Even though I feel more spanish than dutch, I also feel that I’m a global citizen. 

I don’t know if I should stop watching the depressive news today. It ain’t no good for my mental health. I feel so sensitive today. I always am so sensitive. Maybe I care too much about politics?! I used to not care at all. Since I have spoken at the UN I feel the need to express myself. I used to be afraid of saying my opinion. Now, I don’t. We can’t be silence when something happens in your country. We have to speak up and demonstrate and fight for our human rights.

This subject thouched me hard because I know the history of Spain with the dictator Franco. We don’t wanna go back, do we?! In these hard times countries have to be united in order to beat terrorism and war. We all have the right to feel safe without discrimination.

I just really hope everything will be okay again in Spain. Both political parties need to talk. I really hope they come to a solution. They aren’t acting like adults now. They have to come to a solution to have Spain united. Democracy and no discrimination!

Spain developed in 40 years so much and I’m thankful for all of that. I love Spain and I hope that it will stay one country 💜

Freedom, equality and brotherhood ✌

Much love,

xoxo