Bad feelings & thoughts 😢

Hey beautiful people ❤,

I wrote this last night. I wanted to write a travel blog post about Madrid but will share that another time. I feel really bad right now and I just had to share it somewhere so I thought my blog would be the best way to share what I’m experiencing right now in my life. Since June 2017 I’m living with my mother in Valladolid, in Spain. My parents aren’t divorced. My father is living in The Netherlands. My mother is in Spain because she is busy doing a dental implant. I graduated college in August but got my official degree in December 2017, just 3 months ago. I’m searching for a job well in fact I’m searching but not applying and I’m not telling anyone that. As you know from my blog, I suffer from anxiety for like my whole life.

Since February 2017 I take 20 mg of antidepressants Lantanon and I also got subscriped a benzo when I feel really high anxiety. I almost don’t experience that anymore but I still suffer from anxiety. Maybe, I will forever suffer from anxiety but just have to learn how to cope with it. Back to the point why I write this blog post. My father came to visit us in November and it was all well. In December 2017, my mother and I went to The Netherlands to celebrate Christmas with the whole family which was awesome. Now, my father is here again for like two weeks. He leaves the 31 of March. Right now, I’m my room of the appartment and just can’t stop crying. I get along much better with my mum than with my dad. I just feel like I can tell my mum everything without any form of judgment or being anxious. She always understands me and supports me. I can always tell her secrets which she doesn’t tell my dad because otherwise he would get angry.

My father had an acute pancreatitis when I was 11 years old. He has been going to hospitals for 5 years. He got many operations and was really sick. Right now, he has diabetis. I know I love him and was afraid of loosing him. I have a good relationship with both of my parents but there’s still something with my dad that just never clicks. Right now, I feel the need to run away from home. Everything was okay until today he was talking about the fact that I have to go to the dentist. I already have for like two years caries in one of my wisdom teeth and also one of my wisdom teeth is not growing well… that kind of problems. I have a huge fear of dentists. I think he just don’t understand that.

Once I had to go to a special dentist clinic in The Netherlands to do a root canal treatment. When I was 11 years old I fall down on one of my teeth. If I didn’t do the root canal treatment a few years ago, my tooth would get infected. I’m a highly sensitive person which means that I’m extremely sensitive for everything. I felt anxious for months before this treatment. The day before I almost didn’t sleep and felt so nauseous. The first day I went to get to know this special dentist he said that I’m childish and am like 15 years old. Since that point, my fear of the dentist became extremly high. When I went to do this treatment it didn’t hurt and he didn’t say anything wrong to me again. That comment before made me feel so bad and anxious like I almost couldn’t breath. I said to my parents that I was going to the beach alone. I couldn’t stop crying. After that day, I still went to the root canal treatment which was in a few months. I remember that on the day itself I took valium and felt so dizzy and my father just didn’t understand it.

It’s just like now. He just said you must go to the dentist. I know I have to go so that I will not have problems and no infection but I fucking suffer from anxiety. Pushing me to do something which scares me as hell isn’t helping me at all. He is just blaming me for not taking care of myself and for not listening to him. Afterwards, he said I don’t mind what my children are doing with their lives. If you have problems with your tooth, you will have to pay it by yourself. I’ve a bit of savings but not much because I don’t work…. Maybe he was just being grumpy and I make everything in my mind 10000 worse than it’s but that’s me…. I’m also afraid he is going to push me with the fact that I don’t have a job. Once in December 2017, he said like yeah you have to do something for it, it doesn’t come on it’s own. It just always feel like I’m worthless and lazy and can’t get my life together. It’s not that I don’t want go to the dentist or get a job. I suffer from anxiety and am a highly sensitive person. For me those daily activities which for some people are easy, are for me very hard and difficult. Right now, I feel again that feeling like my life is worthless. I didn’t shared those feelings these last months with you all. I’m so sorry but I don’t want to make this blog an unhappy place.

I have never been suicidal but thoughts of my life is worthless and what’s the point of it all and why I’m not good enough are sometimes in my head. Right now, they are. My father also said that he doesn’t care what his children will do with their lives. We were talking about if I would marry an older men. I said that I wouldn’t do that. He said he wouldn’t like it and then I said something like it’s my life and I’m like 25 years old on the first of June and then he said angry like he doesn’t care if I don’t go to the dentist and it’s my life blablabla. My father always have had a hard character and could get angry really fast. He changed a lot but I’m still afraid. I dislike that so much and can’t stand it because I always feel below him. One of my brothers ran away from house because he only was fighting with my dad and they never were on one line. My brother was wearing long hair and didn’t want to finish high school and my father couldn’t stand it and then there would be a fight. I know running away is not an option and they were both wrong. My father didn’t talk or saw my brother for like 3 years. Now, everything is allright again. I’m really happy about that. My other brother had problems with my father because of not doing enough at home/having his own routine and then my father would make a calendar and cross every day until the day he had to leave our house.

This all makes me so scared. I feel my heart beating really fast. I don’t want to experience that. I told this all to a kinda social worker where I went for some therapy sessions a few years ago in The Netherlands. She said that I wouldn’t have to be afraid because he won’t do that to a girl like he is more protective. She also said to me that I’m not my parents and that this is my life. She also explained to me that most of all when a person is angry this person is not feeling good about themselves and then acts angry to you. I guess I agree with that because when my father has high diabetis he can also act kinda strange and grumpy. I hope I can have one day a home, get a nice job, pay my own bills and hopefully have a soulmate which who I can share my life with and have a family with. All I want is to be happy. I love both of my parents so much but I just don’t like that my father doesn’t understand me, blame me for everything which cause me anxiety. Right now, I can’t wait till I can peacefully live with my mother again. When I had a boyfriend I didn’t tell them one day that I slept in a hotel. When they knew it, my father was angry for one month and didn’t talk to me and said that I’m a whore. He also don’t like when I wear a red lipstick. He also judges people who wear tattoos. I really dislike that.

You can be who you want to be and follow the dreams you want to achieve. Never let anyone judge you, also not your parents. You are perfect just the way you are. I’m feeling a bit better now I’ve written this piece of text. Crying and writing are such important healing tools. Let it all go…. It’s just I really love my parents and all what they do for me but I can’t stand this behaviour and it has a big effect on my anxiety. It makes it so much worse. I hope I didn’t ramble too much but I just felt the need to write this because I’m feeling bad, anxious and sad right now. Have you ever experienced this or something similar? Feel free to comment. If you know some tips feel free to comment aswell. Nothing works in this situation. I always just hide myself, cry and ignore and say yes even though I don’t agree on points…..

Thank you all for making my life better and this world a better place to live in.

I love you all, my community ❤

xoxo Christina

Operación Triunfo concert: 16 March 2018 & post concert depression 🎶🎤💜

Hey lovelies 😍,

Today I’m going to share with you all my experience of the concert of Operación Triunfo in Palacio Vista Alegre in Madrid where I went last Friday with my lovely friend Maria. Operación Triunfo is a Spanish talentshow like X Factor, The voice, Idols. I love these singing contests so much because I love singing. I always wanted to enter too but I think it’s not my thing. I would be too anxious. I prefer to sing for fun. Being famous wouldn’t be my thing too. I prefer to have a private life than have million gossips about me written.

Operación Triunfo was on television from October till the beginning of February. There were 16 participants who were living in an singing academy where they could not have contact with anyone outside the academy. They had a special phone where they could share pictures on Instagram but couldn’t see the likes or comments. Once in a while they had a call with their family and at the end they could leave for Christmas for like two days. Their families also visited the academy once when there were only 5 finalists left. Every week there was a live show and there would be two nominations where one would leave the academy. Every week during the liveshow the public had to choose which one they prefer to stay for one week more in the academy.

These are the 16 participants of Operación Triunfo

The public Spanish television RTVE was really happy about the boom of Operación Triunfo. For many years it wasn’t on television anymore and now it came back. It was a huge success. Therefore, they had chosen the representants of Spain for Eurovision from Operación Triunfo. This was a special liveshow. I was so happy that Tu canción (written by Raúl Gomez) was chosen. Amaia & Alfred are going to represent Spain with this beautiful song. Amaia & Alfred together with Aitana are my favourite singers from this talentshow. Amaia & Alfred sang together the song City of stars during the third liveshow. Right in that moment they felt in love with each other. It’s such a beautiful story. Now, they are going together to Eurovision. Tu canción is a beautiful song too. It’s incredible how much I feel every time I hear this song. The melody is beyond beautiful and the words really mean something. I cry all the time when I hear this song. They sing the sentence “I feel like I’m dancing for the first time.” Love is beautiful and doesn’t need a language. Amaia and Alfred are pure magic and love. They are artists ❤

City of stars – Amaia & Alfred ❤

They make me wanna believe again in love. Love is the reason why we are living. Love doesn’t know any borders. Love is just the best thing ever and it’s even more beautiful when two people meet each other through music ❤ Just like Amaia and Alfred sing and with their eye contact and smiles, they tell us everything. I loved the kiss at the end. I don’t care how well this song will do in Eurovision because I know Europe will love them. They are already winners for me and you have my heart. I will forever be fan of Amaia and Alfred because of your emotion and passion for music. I love you till infinity and beyond ❤

This is the videoclip of Tu canción from Amaia & Alfred who will represent Spain in Eurovision in Portugal this year. The videoclip is so damn beautiful 😍 It demonstrates their love story 💕 They are also flying like Peter Pan at the end. Music who makes me feel something is for me the best music ever 😍

The winner of Operación Triunfo was chosen in the beginning of February during the final liveshow and was Amaia. Amaia is the deserved winner of Operación Triunfo 2017. She studies music & piano since she was little. Every time I hear her singing, I’m in love ❤ She is just full of emotion. I love how she is always so authentic, honest and real. I hope she will stay this way. She has such great values and such a lovely family. I really hope to meet you one day and get the chance to speak to you, give you a letter and take a picture with you. She means so much to me. I love you forever and I wish you all the best my darling ❤ I can’t wait to give you a hug one day.

I love this song from Florence and the Machine so much. This is my favourite song. Amaia sang Shake it out during the 9th liveshow of Operación Triunfo. It was definitely her best perfomance ever! ❤

Now, Operación Triunfo is doing a concert tour through whole Spain. The 16 singers are going to perform in many different cities in Spain. The first concert was on the third of March in Palau St. Jordi in Barcelona. I’m in love with all the 16 beautiful participants. They are all so talented. It’s not only the talent which made us fell in love with them. It’s their values, their honesty and sensitive hearts too. Raoul & Agoney kissed each other during the concert of Barcelona and said the sentence: “Love, Liberty and Visibility.” Marina showed on Spanish television that love is love and kissed her boyfriend which is transgender. Aitana showed that you can be friends with a boy named Cepeda. Real friendship exists. Alfred showed us that you don’t have to be ashamed of having a mental illness. He has anxiety and depression. He also donates money and is always thinking about making this world a better place to live in. Together with Amaia they showed us that real love exists and that’s the most beautiful thing in the world. Amaia showed us that shaving is a beauty standard and that women don’t have to shave just to look beautiful. Amaia also showed us that we should all fight for feminism. Roi showed us that the best thing in life is to laugh and make jokes. Everything is better with good humor. They learned us so many important lessons which I’m forever thankful of.

Last Friday (16-03-2018), I went to the concert of Operación Triunfo in Palacio Vista Alegre with my spanish friend Maria. It was awesome! It was definitely one of the best nights in my life ❤ It was such an unforgettable night. I have never seen so many police men, cars and even dogs as security. It always makes me a bit anxious but it’s better to have enough security and be safe. They sang 37 songs from the liveshows. They sang some songs all together, some duos and some alone.

My favourite songs were:

  • Shake it out – Amaia
  • Miedo – Amaia
  • Chandelier – Aitana
  • Issues – Aitana
  • Con las ganas – Amaia & Aitana
  • No puedo vivir sin ti – Aitana & Cepeda
  • Shape of you – Amaia & Roi
  • La bikina – Ana
  • Lo malo – Aitana & Ana
  • City stars – Amaia & Alfred
  • Tu canción – Amaia & Alfred
  • Que nos sigan las luces – Alfred
  • A quién le importa – All together
  • Camina – All together
  • La revolución sexual – All together

Miedo – Amaia during the concert of Madrid ❤

Chandelier – Aitana during the concert of Madrid ❤

Shape of you – Amaia & Roi during the concert of Madrid ❤

Tu canción – Amaia & Alfred during the concert in Madrid. I loved the kiss. They are so cute together ❤

Camina – All together ❤ They have all made this song which is the hymn of Operación Triunfo 2017

We had such good seats: just in front of the stage. There was one moment in the middle that I felt a bit anxious to have a panick attack but fortunately that feeling went away fast. The concert began at 21.30 till 00.00. There were 15.000 people omg!!! We took a taxi from the hotel to the Palacio Vista Alegre because otherwise we would have been too late. There was a big row to enter but we skipped it half way hahha xD. I love the organisation more in The Netherlands than in Spain. It was kinda chaotic. I also felt sometimes that the girls who were sitting near to us were laughing about us. It wasn’t true at all but my anxiety makes me always think about those stupid things…. I also always use ear plugs for concerts or parties because otherwise I will hear a noise in my ear or my ears ringing which cause me anxiety. Sometimes I feel ashamed for wearing it but nobody sees it because I have long hair. Besides, my health is more important than other people’s opinions. During a concert nobody is judging you. They are just enjoying the music.

I have never went to a concert with so many artists. Those 16 participants from Operación Triunfo are just so awesome! ❤ They are real artists and have so many beautiful values and beautiful voices. It was a concert full of magic & love <3. Raoul & Agoney also kissed each other during the concert after they sang together Manos vacias. Love is love <3. Amaia & Alfred also kissed each other too after singing Tu canción. It was such a beautiful concert ❤ Thank you all for an unforgettable night. I cried, I danced, I sang and I felt so alive. I live for concerts because music makes me feel so alive which is the best feeling ever ❤❤❤

Pictures which I have made during the concert

One of my favourite moments during the concert was when Alfred was singing the song “Que nos sigan las luces”. I love his voice, his beautiful values and how he can light up this whole world. He sang this song which means that the lights have to follow us. I loved that moment so much. Seeing all those beautiful lights and hearing this song was so damn beautiful. I felt so happy and alive. You are an amazing artist. I love Alfred so much ❤ They ended the concert singing all together la revolución sexual which means sexual revolution and means that love has no boundaries. Love is love. They ended with some awesome confetti in the air

Que nos sigan las luces – Alfred during the concert in Madrid. Beautiful lights and a beautiful song sang by a beautiful boy ❤

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I made this collage of pictures which I made during the concert. On the picture on the left you can see “Tu canción – Amaia & Alfred”. I bought two shirts online for the concert. I lend my friend Maria a shirt with the text: “Ah I don’t know, buah what a horror”. Amaia always said that during the contest hahah. My shirt has a picture of Amaia & Alfred with the text “I feel like I’m dancing for the first time.” That’s what they sing in the song Tu canción. On the picture on the right you can see them all together singing “Camina”. The picture right below is where they sing all together “Revolución Sexual”.

After the concert we went to the hotel in Madrid which was just a half hour away. We got a bit lost but fortunately we could find the hotel and were there at 1.00 o’clock. It wasn’t that late but we stayed up until 3 o’clock watching all the pictures & videos made of the concert. We felt so happy, emotional and just all emotions together. On Saturday evening we went home to Valladolid. Since that day I feel a bit empty, lost and sad. I guess it’s also because I have a cold and my period together. I will never ever forget this concert. I want to relive it again. They are going to Valladolid in June so maybe I will go to this concert too with Maria. I have “post concert depression” which is the feeling you get the day after you went to a really fantastic concert.

Symptoms include:

1. The desire to relive the concert.
2. Thoughts similar to “The band were right here!” or “I’m never going to see them again”
3. Emotional pain when listening to the band’s music.” (Source: Urban Dictionary)

The best remedy to cure this is to buy again concert tickets hahah. I love going to concerts so much. I’m so happy that even though I suffer from anxiety I can go to concerts where they are millions of people. Never stop doing the things you love to do. I love going to concerts and anxiety will not make me stop going. I can’t wait to see you all again!!! ❤ I love you all so so so much! ❤

For a few seconds me and my lovely friend Maria are famous hahah!!! We were on Spanish television: news of RTVE. Hahaha you can see us in this video. I’m the one with the flower headband and next to me you can see my friend Maria.

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You can watch the video on my Instagram where I shared it.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I think this is my longest blog post ever so I’m sorry if it’s too long but I just enjoy talking about Operación Triunfo because it makes me so happy and music is just the best thing in life. Music unites people ❤ Only good vibes! In my next blog post I will write a travel post with some beautiful pictures of my trip to Madrid. Madrid is a beautiful city. I encourage anyone to go to this beautiful city one day! 😄

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Love you all so much 💕,

xoxo Christina

International Women’s day in Valladolid: the first feminist strike in Spain! 🌸💜💪

Hey lovelies 😍,

On the 8th of March 2018, I went to my first demonstration in Valladolid, in Spain. 8th of March was International Women’s Day. It was the first feminist strike in Spain. I will never ever forget this beautiful day. Maybe my hormones are making me feel emotional, fierece and so powerful or maybe it was my experience of this day. I will show you my experience and some awesome pictures & videos of this day. We made history in Spain!!! ❤ I went to the demonstration with my mother. I never ever went to a demonstration before. I’m always a bit anxious if they are going to be riots of group of extremists who want to hurt people. I’m happy that it was a pacific & peaceful demonstration. I know that something in me changed my way of thinking. I’m so proud of Spain. Spain had a dictator called Franco for 40 years. The transition to democracy was hard but we are going strong. Now, the first feminst strike took place like wow I’m so intense happy!!! Did you go to a feminst demonstration before? I also wanna know all your experiences.

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This picture was made in Gran Via in Madrid, in Spain. Gran Via is the main city street in Madrid. International newspapers such as BBC or CNN and television from all over the world were writing and talking about this first feminist strike in Spain.

We all were at Fuente Dorada (square in the city centre of Valladolid). It began at 19.00 in the afternoon and ended at 22.00. There were thousands women and also men. I think it’s really important that also men were walking with us because they have to support us and help us to achieve equality between both sexes. This day was about all kinds of women: black, lgbt+ community, poor, rich, workers, students, elderly…. Everybody was invited to walk with us. We were walking for like one hour. It was so damn beautiful to walk with all these beautiful women. I have never felt so united and together with women. There’s a lot of jealousy and competition between women. I dislike that so much because if we really want to achieve equality between women and men, we also should stop to compare ourselves to other women. Instead, we should empower and encourage other women. I love to be part of this blogging and mental health community where I empower and encourage women and men. If we all support each other it’s much easier to achieve equality.

On the banner you can read: “Oh girls, just wanna have have fundamental human rights“. I draw the women sign on my face with a black eyeliner hahah. You can see how many women were at the first feminist strike in Valladolid….. thousands women!

I got really emotional during this walk. I felt one with the world and with all these beautiful women. It reminds me that we are not alone. I also heard some girls talking about their first time that they felt uncomfortable with men. It’s good to know that I’m not the only who have had bad experiences with men. We are all in this together ❤ I also saw some beautiful banners that all the women made for this demonstration and walk together. I loved the one where the words were written: “Yo decido el cúando, el dónde y con quien”. This means “I decide when, where and with who.” This banner was made by many women in whole Spain for the first feminist strike. This sentence is from the song Lo Malo which I heard during the talentshow Operación Triunfo on Spanish television. Aitana & Ana were singing this song. I’m going to the concert of Operacion Triunfo this friday and I can’t wait to hear this song and many other songs live in concert with my friend Maria.

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These words means: “No is no, if you want flexibility go to yoga

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These words mean: “I don’t want your compliment, I want respect

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From the left to the right. On the first banner these words means: “You are more beautiful when you are free and not silenced.” On the second banner you can read the words: “I hate crowdy places but I had sexism much more.” On the third banner you can read the words: “There is no liberty without women who don’t are in a revolution.” On the last banner you can read the words: “I decide when, where and with who.”

I also talked a lot with all the women who were at the demonstration. My mother and I talked to some elderly who were so kind and lovely to us. One of them explained that this demonstration is really important. She said that she earned less than men and that this has to change. She also said that me and my mother were beautiful and that she hopes our lives are going well. I got really tears in my eyes… It means so much that complete strangers say these kind of things to me and my mother. I love that so much. There have to be more people like these women we met. It’s so important to say beautiful words to strangers and remind them how beautiful they are. You never know what kinds of battles or storms people are going through. Some kind words can definitely change your day and perspective of life.

I also met a lovely girl called Ines. She was from Catalonia. I shared some blog posts last year about the political situation of Catalonia. They want to be indepented from Spain. They had an election in December but the problem is still not solved because right now there’s no government. In Spain, all regions are autonomous which means that they have their own government, their own police and health care. Every region in Spain is different. I loved talking to Ines and understand her point of view. She said that this problem is not solved because during the time that Franco was a dictator for Spain for 40 years they had no rights. They couldn’t talk catalan, their own language and many things were forbidden. I also met a girl from Navarra, another region in Spain. Spain is beautiful because of all the different nationalities, regions and languages. I’m so proud to be Dutch and Spanish and be part of this beautiful culture ❤

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The girl is called Ines which I met during the demonstration in Valladolid ❤

During this walk, we were all walking together to a square near to the cathedral of Valladolid. At that square some women were talking and giving speeches. It really made me feel so inspired. My mother asked for some stickers. I got some beautiful stickers to remind myself forever of this beautiful day. I already decorated my room with them. The march ended with a beautiful fire yeahhh ❤ 🔥

They wrote “feminst strike” on the windows of the shops. This was written on the windows of the shop Zara. On the right you can see the cute stickers which I got ❤ On the first sticker you can read the words: “Without women, the world will stop.” On the other sticker you can read the words: “I also support the strike.”

I got really emotional to see all these beautiful women walking together. We are women and we have to be proud of it. Together we are going to change the world! ❤ The first feminist strike in Spain was a success. There were millions of women walking together during this demonstration in whole Spain. I feel so inspired and powerful since this day. I feel like we are going to change this world and it’s so good to know that we are never alone. We are all united. Together we are strong. We made history with the feminst strike in Spain!!!! We are in a revolution! 💪This is is just the beginning of something really great. I believe in the good things coming. Never forget that we are all in this together. The future is female, girl power! 💜

I hope you all liked this blog post. As you know by now I’m a feminist by heart. What do you think of this demonstration? Are you also a feminist? I hope we are going to change this world together because YES WE CAN!!!! ❤

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Love you all so much 💞,

xoxo Christina

Happy International Women’s day 🌹🌼💜💕

Hey lovely community 😍,

Today I’m going to write about a really important subject which is International Women’s day. Happy International Women’s day 🌹💕 I edited this picture for you all. I want to write you all a good blog post with also facts and numbers from reliable sources. I hope you are all going to like it. All women have the right to celebrate this day and go to demonstrations on the streets. I’m going tonight to a demonstration in Valladolid, in Spain in the afternoon. I think it’s really important that we are there to speak up. If we never speak up about difficult issues nothing is going to change. Are you also going to a demonstration today? Are you also going to celebrate this special day? Let me know in the comment section. I would love to hear about it ❤

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Women are still considered as weak and men as strong human beings. I’ve always felt less than men. It’s hard to be a women in this world. I still feel intimitaded by men. I’ve always felt like I should make them happy. I know that not all men are bad. Women and men are still not equal. Women’s bodies are still being sexualised and viewed as a object. I have experienced so many times that I got catcalled on the streets, calling me a slut or touching my butt when I was dancing. You have no fucking right to touch it without my permission. I dislike this behaviour so much. I can’t fucking stand it. I also can’t stand that when women are raped they are saying it’s the women’s fault. It’s never your fault. Men are responsible for their fucking actions. We need to educate men to not rape women. Sorry for my swearing. It just makes me so angry. Also one time one boy even said once I was partying that I looked like I wanted to fuck with him.

I guess many women share such kind of stories. I’m not the only one who have shared me too stories. There are so many women on this earth who has experienced sexual harrasment or assault. “On average, 30 percent of women who have been in a relationship report that they have experienced some form of physical or sexual violence by their partner. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence offers volunteer opportunities, and you can support them at their events by checking their calendar here.” (Source: Makers) Of course, men also experience this but facts shows us that the mayority who experience this are women.

index.pngThis isn’t the only problem we have. We still earn less money than men. No matter how hard we work, we will not be able to gain as much as a man. In undeveloped countries, women can’t get education and many of this women are forced to marry someone. This is called child chird marriage. “Every year, an estimated 15 million girls under 18 are married worldwide, with little or no say in the matter. Girls Not Brides studies the problem and is working to find workable solutions. They know that education and empowerment for girls are the first steps. You can help by sharing the facts or

This isn’t the only problem we have. We still earn less money than men. No matter how hard we work, we will not be able to gain as much as a man. In undeveloped countries, women can’t get education and many of this women are forced to marry someone. This is called child chird marriage. “Every year, an estimated 15 million girls under 18 are married worldwide, with little or no say in the matter. Girls Not Brides studies the problem and is working to find workable solutions. They know that education and empowerment for girls are the first steps. You can help by sharing the facts or This isn’t the only problem we have. We still earn less money than men. No matter how hard we work, we will not be able to gain as much as a man. In undeveloped countries, women can’t get education and many of this women are forced to marry someone. This is called child chird marriage. “Every year, an estimated 15 million girls under 18 are married worldwide, with little or no say in the matter. Girls Not Brides studies the problem and is working to find workable solutions. They know that education and empowerment for girls are the first steps. You can help by sharing the facts or donating to projects making a difference.” (source: Makers) I once saw a documentary about this and I just couldn’t stop crying. It’s just the worst thing ever. This really need to change. Facts also show us that the most highest positions in the labour market are men.

I also want to praise all the mom in this world. Being a mom is a full time job. Nobody should take that for granted. Women have to suffer with their period, get pregnant and have to raise their children. Besides, we also have to all our household stuff in home and work at the same time. Women are not being appreciated enough for all what they are doing. Of course, men are also raising their children but I still feel more connected to my mother. I think it’s because of the mother instinct and being for 9 months in your mother womb. I’ve always seen pregnancy a little bit of scarry. I have so many problems with my period and so much pain, that I’m thinking that if I ever get pregnant it will be so painful. Hopefully, I’m lucky and everything will go smoothly. I think it’s just so beautiful to bring children on this earth.

I’m a feminist and the meaning of this is that you believe in equal rights of women and men. I don’t believe women have to be better than men. That’s not what it’s all about. I don’t like that some people think we are hating on men. I don’t hate men. I just dislike some behavious and the fact that we are not equal in this society. Feminism shares a common goal which is to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal and social equality of sex. That’s the real difinition which I found on the internet.

I know a lot of improvement is made in women right’s like to able to vote and to work. Right now, we have the me too campaign and time’s up. These are all proyects to create equal rights between men and women. There are still so many things that have to change but together we are going strong 💪 I’m thankful that I live in a developed country. My heart and praying goes to all the women who are suffering in this world especially in undeveloped countries. Many women doesn’t have the right to marry who to they want or to go to school in these countries. It’s really sad. “62 million girls are denied an education all over the world. #UpForSchool wants to change that. You can sign their petition here.” (source: Makers) There’s still so much work to do especially in these undeveloped countries.

Let’s raise boys and girls the same way. Let’s boy educate that the body of a women is not an object. Let’s educate them that every women decide their choices. Let women know that they have to be proud for who they. Let women know that they can live their lives according to their values and beliefs without any fear. Let’s all unite together and stay strong. I love you all my warriors ❤ Together we can change the world 🌍💪💞

Here’s to strong women.
May we know them.
May we be them.
May we raise them.

The future is female 😍💙💚❤️💛💜🌸🌹 Amen ❤

Much love,

xoxo Christina

Gossip Girl Tag 😍💖💕

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Hey lovelies 😍,

I always wanted to make a blog post about one of my favourite series: Gossip Girl 💖. I have seen all seasons and I love it so much. I think I want to see all the seasons again haha. I’m just so addicted to this serie. I’m going to do this Gossip Girl Tag which I found on this blog: Elle. It must be fun to write. I think I’m going to make another blog post too about the reasons why I love this serie so much. First, I will do this Gossip Girl Tag and answer 10 awesome questions about this serie.

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1. How did you discover the show?

My best friend was watching this serie a few years ago and said that it was a really good serie with great actors. She enjoyed watching it a lot. She said that this serie took place in New York City and that they all wore amazing fashion and went to cool parties. I was like omgggg NYC, great actors, amazing fashion and cool parties in NYC, I have to see this serie!!! 😱 I became totally addicted to this serie from the first episode that I saw.

New York City is so beautiful & amazing ❤

2. Who was your favourite character?

My favourite character was Serena. Many fans like Blair. I also like Blair but she could be really Evil. I love Serena more because of her fashion style and her honesty. I think she is more real than Blair. I also just love Blake Lively so much as an actress. I really have a weakness for her. She is one of my favourite actresses. I love her sweet voice, style, manner and she is just a goddess woman who know what she wants.

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3. Who would you see yourself being friends with on the show?

I really think I could be friends with Serena 💙. I think we are really similar. I also share a lot of what she goes through in the serie. She dates a lot of bad boys and eventually end up with the good boy which is Dan. After my break up, I also was hanging out with bad boys who didn’t deserve me at all. All Serena wants is someone to respect her like I do too. I can really see parts of how I’m in her character. I also think it would be amazing to be friends with her so that she can learn me how to combine clothes and dress well. I’m not good at that. I love her style so much! ❤

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4. Chair or dair?

Of course, without any doubt: CHAIR!!!! I didn’t like Dan and Blair together. They don’t belong together and are not similar. Dan and Blair are just friends. Chuck and Blair are both playing games and have kind of a dark side. I really liked when they finally end up together. They are really so cute together ❤ It’s real love 😍

5. What’s your favourite ship that would never actually happen?

I really liked Jenny and Eric together. I know that would never ever happen because Eric is gay. When I watched the serie, I found them really cute together and they also seem to understand each other well. I think they could be a great couple.

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6. If you were to be a character, who would you be?

I would love to be Blair because she is just the opposite of my personality. That would be very interesting. I love her fashion style. She is also very smart, independent and is very straightforward. I love how she can be a bitch sometimes. I would love to be like that too with mean people. I also like that she always has a plan when something doesn’t work out. I wish I could be like that too haha.

7. Have your read the book series?

No, I never read the book series. I really want to buy the books and read the books too. I’m wondering if the storyline in the books is the same as in the serie or if it’s totally different.

8. Who was your crush on the show?

My crush on the show was definitely Chuck. He is so handsome!!!! 💕 He was sometimes a bad boy but he has a good heart. I also dated a lot of bad boys a few years ago. He can very wild and I love the games he played with Blair. He is also a bit of mysterious which I really like. I’m glad he finally got in a relationship with Blair.

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9. What was your initial thought of the show?

I became addicted from the first second when I began to watch the serie. I loved the friendships and the relationships in the serie. My favourite couple was Chuck and Blair and my favourite friendship was definitely Blair and Serena <3. I also loved the drama, haha it was really fun. I became in love with their fashion. I also loved that they also went to amazing parties. I would love to go to such an amazing party in New York City and wear a beautiful dress like Serena or Blair were wearing. I also became in love with New York City so much. When I was watching this serie a few years ago I didn’t know that I would go to New York City one day.

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The friendship between Blair & Serena was the best ❤

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The fashion in Gossip Girl is just amazing! ❤

I won the Many Languages, One World essay contest and had to speak at the United Nations. I also posted this on some other blog posts. I will make an apart blog post about it. I felt in love with New York City. I already felt in love with NYC in Gossip Girl. The city is even more beautiful in real life like wow omggg. It’s really impressive! I also loved the theme song, haha it made all the fans of Gossip Girl addicted. I think it’s such a great ring tone too. You know you love me xoxo, Gossip Girl ❤

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10. Who was your favourite villain?

Georgina was really my favourite villain in Gossip Girl. I really liked how she acted and how bitchy she could be. I loved the drama she created. She was really good in acting this way.

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I hope you all liked this Gossip Girl Tag. Feel free to answers this questions on your own blog. Let me know in the comments if you also loved Gossip Girl as much as I do ❤ I would love to know all about it.

This is definitely one of my favourite pictures ever of Chuck, Blair, Serena and Nate together ❤

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Much love 💝,

xoxo Christina