Poem: Being real about suffering from anxiety

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I just always want to be 100% honest on my blog. I don’t like to lie on here. I don’t stand people always sharing their best lives and tell people online how perfect their lives is. Life isn’t always beautiful. I love to get inspired by people who share the truth, the good and the bad. I wrote this a few days ago because that’s how I felt in that moment.

I feel a bit better now because I planned a trip with my mother for tomorrow to go to the city Leon. Spontaneous trips make me the happiest. I also love to discover new cities where I have never been to. It’s two hours by bus from Valladolid. I just booked a beautiful three stars hotel with a spa. I can’t wait to relax, swim and go in the whirlpool. I love hotels with spa. I also can’t wait to enjoy this beautiful city. Leon is famous for their delicious tapas. For a drink you get a tapa for free. It’s also famous for the cathedral which is one of the most beautiful ones in the world. I can’t wait to share you my trip with you all.

For now, I want to share with you all this poem. I feel like this sometimes. It’s really hard to suffer from anxiety but we are all in this together πŸ’ͺπŸ’—

Being real about suffering from anxiety

I feel so anxious lately

I’m doing bad again

I’m isolating myself

I’m hiding myself

I’m only seeing my family

I don’t see my friends often

Most of them are busy living their lives

I feel lost and lonely

I feel like I can’t do the everyday life things such as going to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth out or do the internship interview to work in a hotel in Spain

It all takes me too much energy

Too much anxiety

For me it’s hard but for others who aren’t suffering from a mental illness it will be easy

I believe everyone experience hard times and anxiety in their lives

For me it’s an illness, a never ending struggle which makes living so hard

I’m afraid to ask for help

I’m afraid of life

But

I’m also afraid of dying

Is that really living or existing?

I have to go on

All I can see now is darkness

I know I won’t do anything bad to myself but feeling this way is also not okay

Hopefully within time I will feel better

All I need is to get better πŸ™

To be happy again

To follow & achieve my dreams ✨🌠

I know we all can do it

For anyone else struggling right now

You are not alone

You are loved πŸ’—

We are all in this together πŸ’ͺ

Thank you for reading this blog post. Thank you for being there for me πŸ’— Did you like my poem? Can you relate to it? How are you feeling in life right now? Let me know your thoughts. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Living with trichotillomania

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Today I want to share a blog post about a mental health disorder which is trichotillomania. I feel ashamed to share it but I have to share it. I actually didn’t want to share this but today I find the courage and strength to share this in the hope others who are suffering from it too don’t feel alone. I also want to raise awareness and understanding. I have never been diagnosed of it but I know I have it because it isn’t normal what I do. I just feel I can share it here as it’s my safe space.

Picture of a girl pulling hair out because of trichotillomania

As you all know by reading my blog I suffer from anxiety which is hard and I’m not doing well lately. I also suffer from trichotillomania which I think is a consequence of feeling anxious. Trichotillomania is also called hair-pulling disorder, is a mental disorder that involves recurrent, irresistible urges to pull out hair from your scalp, eyebrows, eyelashes or other areas of your body, despite trying to stop.

Explanation of trichotillomania

I wouldn’t pull my hair out but what I do is pulling my eyebrows and eyelashes out. I feel so ashamed and bad about it. I think I have had it all my life but lately it’s been really bad. Last year, I had basically one eyebrow in Spain because the other one I pulled almost completely out. It was really bad. I covered my face with my bangs because thanks god I have bangs otherwise everyone would have seen it.

I remember cancelling appointments with people because I felt so ashamed of it. I didn’t want my friends to see me that way. I would think that they think I’m crazy and out of control 😒 It really hurt me. Some people asked me once and I said it was an infection and that I went to the doctors. They believed me. I felt good about lying but I still made me feel bad. I wouldn’t like to see myself in the mirrow. I felt ugly because of it. Then I didn’t do it for a few months and on my birthday last year it was almost all good again. Until next time….

This year it happened again, this time it was the other eyebrow but I’m happy it grows fast but I had like open spaces. One day I was meeting my best friend in Holland and then she saw my eyebrow and said that I always had full eyebrows and asked what happened. At the end, I told her and felt so ashamed. I was so happy she understood me and said we all have our things. One is nail biting, the other one pulls their eyebrows out and the other one has another thing. My good friends know it too and respect me. They also are worried about me. I love to feel loved and it’s good to know that they care about me.

I also always think it could be worse. I never did self harm and never will do because I’m afraid of blood. I feel dizzy and nauseous when I see blood. However, what I do is also not okay and maybe I have to ask for help for it. I also would have to do that for anxiety and I’m not doing it because I’m so anxious of therapy. That’s just the truth. A few years ago I went to a sort of mental health worker in Holland and had to vomit every time I went so I don’t want to go through that again. Here I’m still so anxious about everything in life such as going through an interview in Spain for an internship in a hotel, getting my wisdom teeth pulled out one day and just everything in life. I’m not okay.

My eyebrows are kinda okay now. I searched a lot through internet and I read that castoroil would grow your eyebrows and eyelashes. It definitely does. My eyebrows have grown so much. I’m happy about that 😊. I’m not happy about this month that I begin to pull my eyelashes out as I have almost no eyelashes in one eye. It makes me feel so bad and ashamed again. My mother watch me doing it and said I make her nervous. She said just stop it but I just can’t. It’s so difficult to stop it. I hate it. I will keep using castoroil and hopefully for my next birthday the first of June I will have more eyelashes again. I feel like eyelashes grow less faster than eyebrows.

Conversation of someone having the mental illness trichotillomania

Sometimes I don’t do it for a time, could be days or even months but then I begin again and I just can’t stop until I made it so bad. I won’t share pictures because this feels already so hard to share. I hope you all don’t think I’m crazy because trust me I really wish I wouldn’t do this stupid thing. I just wish not many people will see it. Maybe, I have to buy fake eyelashes as I see many people and celebrities wearing it. I’m afraid it would destroy my eyes or hold on the growing of the eyelashes when using castoroil. I don’t know what to do. I also for now stopped using mascara as you would see that on one eye I have all my eyelashes and on one not. I love to wear make up but for now I don’t do it πŸ˜”.

Girl crying because of her illness trichotillomania

Thank you all for reading this vulnerable blog post. I feel good to share it here as I know you are always there for me. Thank you for holding space for me you have πŸ’— We are all in this together πŸ’ͺ Do you also suffer from trichotillomania? Do you have any tips? What would you do? Let me know as I would really appreciate your thoughts and help.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Turtles all the way down by John Green book review & my favourite quotes πŸ“–πŸ’—πŸ’

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

It’s time for a book post again yeahhh! It takes me so long to read a book to be honest. I love to read every day 10 pages so it takes me a few months to read one book. I’m a slow reader πŸ˜‚ I finally finished the amazing young adult book Turtles all the way down by John Green. This post will be a review of the book and I will also share my favourite quotes from it. I hope you are going to love it as much as I do.

Turtles all the way down – John Green πŸ’šπŸ’

Summary:

It’s the latest novel of John Green. This book is about the 16 year old Aza who suffers from anxiety and OCD. Her best friend is called Daisy. It’s a story about love, friendship, Star Wars fan fiction, mistery and loss. Together they are trying to solve a mistery case of the fugitive billionaire and the promise is a cash reward. In the book you can read the ever-tightening spiral of Aza’a own thoughts. She’s always afraid to get sick and die.

My review:

I really loved this book so much. It’s so raw, real and honest. John Green suffered from OCD and anxiety in his teenage years. This book is so beautiful. I can relate so much to the thoughts of Aza. I also experience that never ending spiral of thoughts which cause me anxiety. He described the thoughts of Aza so real that you can understand it so well. I also love Daisy who’s her best friend and who’s more rational. She doesn’t suffer from a mental illness but helps her best friend so well. Their friendship is beautiful with their ups and downs. I love the writing style from John Green so much. My favourite book from him is The fault in our stars. I still have to read many more of him. I also likes that this book is easy to read.

Stars: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I give this book 4 stars because I loved to read it. However, sometimes they were some difficult words written such as from an illness which I didn’t know. I also give it 4 stars because I would have liked a little bit more information of the fugitive billionaire. It was an amazing book to read because it’s so honest and true. I find it hard to deal with anxiety and any mental illness such as anxiety or OCD needs awareness and understanding. I hope many teeangers, young adults and just anyone read this amazing book to understand what it feels to have those thoughts every day. Then they can understand how exhausting it is. John Green is such an amazing writer! I love him so much and hope he continues to write beautiful books! 😍

My favourite quotes:

I would love to share now my favourites quotes from this book. They inspire me and make me feel so much emotions. I hope it inspires you as well.

β€œWe never really talked much or even looked at each other, but it didn’t matter because we were looking at the same sky together, which is maybe even more intimate than eye contact anyway. I mean, anybody can look at you. It’s quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see.”

β€œThe problem with happy endings is that they’re either not really happy, or not really endings, you know? In real life, some things get better and some things get worse. And then eventually you die.”

β€œNo, it’s not, Holmesy. You pick your endings, and your beginnings. You get to pick the frame, you know? Maybe you don’t choose what’s in the picture, but you decide the frame.”

β€œOur hearts were broken in the same places. That’s something like love, but maybe not quite the thing itself.”

β€œWe always say we are beneath the stars. We aren’t, of courseβ€”there is no up or down, and anyway the stars surround us. But we say we are beneath them, which is nice. So often English glorifies the humanβ€”we are whos, other animals are thatβ€”but English puts us beneath the stars, at least.”

β€œEvery loss is unprecedented. You can’t ever know someone else’s hurt, not really – just like touching someone else’s body isn’t the same as having someone else’s body.”

β€œIt’s so weird, to know you’re crazy and not be able to do anything about it, you know? It’s not like you believe yourself to be normal. You know there is a problem. But you can’t figure a way through to fixing it. Because you can’t be sure, you know?”

β€œI get that nothing lasts. But why do I have to miss everybody so much?”

β€œYou feeling scared?”
β€œKinda.”
β€œOf what?”
β€œIt’s not like that. The sentence doesn’t have, like, an object. I’m just scared.”

β€œThoughts are only thoughts.They are not you, you belong to yourself even when your thoughts don’t.”

β€œYou remember your first love because they show you, prove to you, that you can love and be loved, that nothing in this world is deserved except for love, that love is both how you become a person, and why.”

β€œAnd the thing is, when you lose someone, you realize you’ll eventually lose everyone.”

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all liked this book review. Did you read Turtles all the way down? Did you like it? Did you read any book of John Green? What was your last read? Let me know. I would love to know your thoughts. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Stationery haul πŸ’—πŸ“

Hola lovelies πŸ’•,

Today it’s time for again a haul post. I bought a lot of stationery stuff and also some other stuff I want to show you all. I’m just so addicted to buy stationery stuff. I use it to write letters to my friends, family and pen pals. There’s nothing better than receiving a handwritten letter. It never goes out of style.

These are all the things I bought:

Stickers, bouncing putty, socks and gel pens
Postcards set and cards with envelopes

Big stickers €1.50 each of them (Hema)

Stickers with hearts, moon and eyes
Big stickers with stars, quotes and hearts

I bought this beautiful two pack of stickers at the Dutch shop Hema. I love these stickers. They are really beautiful and creative. I love the heart stickers, the moon and the eyes.

Little stickers €1 each of them (Zeeman)

Summer stickers with ice-creams and sweets

I bought this nice stickers at the Dutch shop Zeeman. The stickers on the left are so cute. It gives me Summer vibes as there are ice-creams, milkshakes and other sweets 🍬🍧πŸ₯€. The stickers on the right are also so nice. I especially love the sticker Okay? Okay. because it reminds me of my favourite movie and book The fault in our stars by John Green.

Colourful gel pens €1 (Zeeman)

Colourful gel pens

I love gel pens so much. They write so well and the colours are beautiful. I used to use them a lot but many of them were broken so I had the perfect excuse to buy this set of gel pens. Also my favourites colours are blue, purple and violet.

Postcards pad €0.80 (Action)

Set of different postcards
Postcard with the text you are so loved and flowers
Postcard with the text amazing with flowers
Postcard with hearts
Postcard with a dandelion and quote
Postcard with the text choose joy and blue flowers
Postcard with the text positive vibes only in blue

Action is like the best shop to buy stationery stuff in The Netherlands. It has so many awesome things. I bought this set of postcards. I like to write postcards and send them. They are all so beautiful. I love the design, the flowers, the hearts and the beautiful letters. These are 12 designs and 24 postcards.

Postcards with scratch stickers €0.90 (Action)

Colourful postcards with scratch stickers
Postcard with a beautiful tree and quote
Postcard with a bee, quote and sunflower
Best friend forever postcard with hearts

I love these postscards because they have scratch stickers. I have never seen that before. You have to write in the white space and then you have to cover it with the scratch sticker which you can find at the end. It’s like a hidden message. The person who gets the postcard has to scratch the sticker to see the message. I think it’s such a cute idea 😍 I really love it. The postcasts are also very cute.

8 double cards deluxe with envelopes €0.80 (Action)

8 double deluxe cards with envelopes

These are so useful and I already was thinking of buying it. I love to make my own cards. It makes it more personal and special. It’s always useful to have this at home as well as the envelopes βœ‰οΈ.

Crazy bouncing putty €1 (Zeeman)

Set of colourful crazy bouncing putty

This isn’t stationery stuff but I wanted to include it in this post because I bought it the same day. I gave one to my friend and one is for myself. Bouncing putty is so nice. It’s soft, colourful and it bounces when you throw it on the ground. I love it. It’s great for releasing stress and anxiety πŸ’•. It’s so satisfying.

Colourful socks €3 (Hema)

Colourful socks
This was such a great set of socks which I bought the same day when I bought the stationery stuff. It was cheap as it were 5 socks for €3. I love the pineapple socks, the lines and the colours. I really needed socks so it was worth to buy them. You can never have enough colourful socks.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. What was your favourite item from my post? Do you also love to buy stationery as much as I do? What do you love to buy? Let me know in the comments. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Poem for International Women’s Day β™€οΈπŸ’ͺπŸ’œπŸ‘­

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I always need to share something on this important day: 8 March. Today it’s International Women’s Day. I find it important that we all think of how women are treated in the world. Even if you live in a developed country like I do, women are still being raped, discriminated or sexual harrast. It can happen in any country on this world. There’s still not 100% equality between women and men even though it’s better than in the past. It also depends on where you are in the world. In some countries women still aren’t able to go to school or travel alone. I see women getting murdered or raped in Spanish news often. There’s still so much to do so that we can feel save on the streets.

Last year, I was in Spain with my mother and went to the first feminist strike in Spain. It was one of the best experiences in my life. That march completely made me change the way I thought of sisterhood. I saw women being united, felt loved and soooo strong. I even made a friend which was amazing. It always feel like we have to compare with other women when it’s just so important to all support each other so that we can have equal rights. This year there’s again a feminist strike in Spain and I’m so sad I can’t be there. If you want to check that post and have an impression of that day you can go to this post.Β 

In this post I want to share a poem I made and recorded via video. I find it important to write about it. I’m a proud feminist! πŸ’ͺβ™€οΈπŸ’œπŸ‘­ I will forever support human rights and equality of women and men.

This is the spoken poetry video:

This is the same poem but then written:

International Women’s Day πŸ’œ

Today it’s International Women’s Day

This date is important every day not only just today

I’m a feminist by heart

Being a feminist means equal rights for women and men

It doesn’t mean that one gender has the power over one

It just means that there’s equality and freedom to be ourselves

It means to have the same human rights

Women are still discriminated, being raped and have a high rate of being murdered

What do we want?

We want to feel safe when we walk down the streets

We don’t want men catcalling us and making us feel uncomfortable

We don’t want that society always blames us for being raped because of what we were wearing or what we were doing

We want to love ourselves and feel free in our bodies

We want to be less afraid of something happening to us

We want to feel protected by the law

All we want is that society treats us with respect, understanding and love

Is that too much to ask for?

I’m sure we can all change the world, the moment we speak up about it

We’ll not be silenced anymore

Our time has come

We are not alone

We are all in this together! πŸ’ͺ

Together we will create a world were women and men can live in harmony, peace and love for the rest of their lives

Yes we can! ❀️πŸ’ͺ

Thank you all for reading this blog post and for watching my video. Did you like my poem? Are you also a proud feminist? Did you ever go to a demonstration or march on International Women’s Day? Let me know in the comments. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

February favourites πŸŽ‰πŸŽΆ

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I loved to make this post last month so I’m doing it again this month. It’s nice to write about your favourites things every month. I ate delicious food with my friends this month. I was happy to finally have fun with my friends again as I didn’t see them in so many months. I really missed it. I will also let you know other things I did, which serie I enjoyed this month, what my favourite music was this month & some other good things of February πŸ’—

My favourite music πŸŽΆπŸ’ž:

Ariana Grande – Thank u, next album

I basically only listened to the new album called Thank u, next of ARIANA GRANDE!!!! It’s so good. If you haven’t listened to it yet, do it! You won’t regret it. I have always liked her music but I consider myself definitely a fan of her now. I would love to go to her concert and meet her. She’s such a queen and I love her so much πŸ‘Έ. This album is so real, honest and so beautiful. My favourite songs are “Needy”, “Bloodline”, “Fake Smile”, “Thank u, next” and “Break up with your girlfriend, I’m bored.” I love all the songs, the lyrics and music so much but these are my favourites 🎢

My favourite serie I watched πŸ“Ί:

Amar es para siempre

I watch this Spanish serie every day of the week in the evening with my mother. We love it. This serie is already so many years on television. Love is forever is the title in English. It’s about different families and things happen. Right now, I love the story of Lusita and Amelia which is a lesbian couple. They are so cute together πŸ‘­πŸŒˆ. I love this story as it’s important for society to accept that love is love.

This serie is played in the 80s where in Spain society was still not so open for it so they have to hide all the time. I’m curious how the story will go. There’s also another story in this serie of a toxic relationship where a man called Gabriel is trying to make Natalia falling in love with him. She’s in love with his brother. It’s very complicated and Gabriel is really such a dangerous man. I hope she can escape and it will end well. We will see πŸ€—

My favourite movie I watched 🎬:

Valentine’s Day

I didn’t see this movie in a long time and I love it so much. It’s one of my favourite movies. It was the right time to see it this month πŸ’—. I love the actors so much such as Ashton Kutcher, Anne Hathaway, Taylor Lautner, Taylor Swift, Julia Roberts and Emma Roberts. Those are my favourites πŸ’•. I also loved the songs in the movie so much such as “Today was a fairytale” and “Jump then fall” by Taylor Swift. I always listened to these songs when I was in love and I still love them. I also love the song “Stay here forever” from Jewel so much. I like all the stories in this movie so much. At the end you never know how things will go but we all deserve good love.

DVD of Valentine's Day

My favourite gifts/things I got πŸ’•πŸŽ:

Valentine’s Day gifts

I may not have a romantic Valentine but I have my mommy who always gives me presents on Valentine’s Day 🌹. She makes me happy and feel less lonely on this day. It’s a day to celebrate love in all it’s forms. I love her so much. She’s the most important person in my life. She bought me delicious chocolate, a lavender bath bomb, a cute card and a bag. I also got the magazine Happinez which is a nice magazine full of wisdom, self care and self love tips. She got it for free from a woman in the shop who didn’t want it hahah better for me πŸ˜‚ I also gave some chocolate and presents to my best friend. She also gave me a card and a lovely present.

Receiving letters and a dress πŸ’ŒπŸ‘—:

I received a pen pal letter from my good friend Mollie which I met on Instagram. I love to receive letters so much. I also received a beautiful letter from one of my blogging best friends Chloe. I also bought a white dress from Daphne which I also met on Instagram. It was just €10 and I really love that dress. It’s perfect for this Spring and Summer time 🌞❀️ I love you all so much. Receiving something always makes me so happy.

My favourite trip we booked πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈβœˆοΈ:

Flight tickets to Spain

My father booked the flight tickets for me and my mother to go to Spain in March πŸ’•πŸŒžπŸŒŽπŸŒ». I can’t wait to go again as I have missed it so much. I’m already two months in The Netherlands. I can never stay too long in The Netherlands πŸ˜‚ I really feel sad and lonely this time. Sunshine makes me feel happy and less anxious. I feel like I lack so much energy these days to do anything.

I need the sunshine β˜€οΈπŸŒŠπŸ„β€β™€οΈ. I can’t wait to see my Spanish friends again and eat delicious tapas. I also am thinking of planning a trip to the beach and I would love to surf soon again. I just can’t wait to go away.

Quote of travelling with a map and airplane

My favourite food I have eaten 🍴:

Pancakes made by my daddy

Typical pancakes in The Netherlands are called pannenkoeken. I love the homemade pancakes made by my daddy so much! He always makes the best ones 😍πŸ₯žπŸ΄βœŒοΈ They were so delicious mmm.

Lunch at Cups and Leafs in Haarlem with my bestie πŸ’•

I finally saw my bestie after three months! 😍 I love Socialdeal. You can find on this website great discounts to eat in a restaurant. We had a delicious lunch at Cups and Leafs in Haarlem. It’s such a cute and cozy place. I love those kinds of lunch/tea places so much. We enjoyed a delicious tomato soup, a delicious bread with mozzarella, pesto, rucola and cherry tomatoes and a dessert. I had a chocolate dessert with biscuits and marshmallows and my bestie had a salt dessert. I had to take mine to home as I was so full πŸ˜‚. For drinks we enjoyed a delicious sunny berry juice and I had a wildberries smoothie. It was all so delicious! I can’t wait to go again. I love you πŸ’—

Drinking healthy smoothies, tomato soup and bread with mozzarella, pesto and rucola with my best friend in Cups of Leafs in Haarlem

Tapas night at Tapasbar El Pincho in Haarlem with my friends πŸ΄πŸ˜‹

I had such a great night on the 24th of February with my friends. My bestie and her girlfriend, two other good friends from my studies and one other friend I know came. I’m happy to finally meet up with a group of friends as it’s so much fun. We ate delicious Spanish tapas. This restaurant is so good as I already ate here two times and keep going back with my friends πŸ˜πŸ€—. We ate bread with tapanade and aioli, tortilla, jamΓ³n serrano, champignons, aubergine, vegetable croquettes, vegetables, olives, patatas bravas, and so much more. As dessert I had crema catalana which I love so much πŸ’• You could also choose pie with ice cream. Spanish vibes always πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ

Friends who love food are the best friends you can ask for 😍🍴We laughed and talked so much. I’m so grateful to have you all in my life. There was even a time my face hurt because of smiling and laughing so hard hahah that’s always a good sign of having fun. Friends forever πŸ’—πŸ’ƒLove you all so much 😘

Tea and apple pie at the Restaurant Cruquius with my mother

I enjoyed a nice bike ride with my mother in our park 🚲. It was sunny and about 12 degrees 🌞. Flowers are already growing in our garden. Spring time is coming soon. I can’t wait for Spring to finally arrive! πŸŒΈπŸ’ I’m so done with the cold winter brrrrrr. We went to the restaurant Cruquius to drink a delicious mint tea & apple pie with cream! πŸ˜πŸ˜‹ I have to go outside more and move more because it’s so good for your physical and mental health.

Other things I did πŸ’»πŸ΅:

Seeing my oldest brother and his wife – Family time πŸ‘ͺ

I’m happy that I saw my oldest brother Rafael and VΓ©ronica twice this month. We live 10/15 minutes away by car from them. One time me and my mother went to their apartment to drink a delicious mint tea and eat some cookies. The other time they went to our home to drink a tea with me and my parents and ate apple pie. It was nice to see them again. They also brought delicious chocolate for Easter πŸ«πŸ˜‹. I miss seeing my brothers. I wish to see my other brother, his wife and niece also soon. The last time we saw them was with Christmas πŸŽ„.

Took a lavender bath πŸ’—πŸ›€

My mother bought me a bath bomb of lavender for Valentine’s Day. I used it for the bath. It was so amazing. I love the colour, the smell and it’s just so relaxing 😍.

Applying for internships/Summer job and facing my fear

I applied to do an internship in a 5 stars hotel in Spain in a village near to Valladolid. It would be for 6 months. I would earn €250. It’s such a beautiful hotel. I loved looking to all the pictures online. It was a monastery and is totally restaurated. It has a spa, inside swimming pool and outside too. It’s a luxe hotel and is famous because of the vine yards πŸ·πŸ‡. I thought why not give an internship a try. The only thing is that for me it’s also important that I have Summer holidays as it’s the only time of the year I’m happy to enjoy the beach, swim in the ocean, have time with my friends, going to concerts, go surfing and travelling. I will have to mention that.

I was so anxious to do the Skype interview three weeks ago. I woke up with high anxiety and took a medication benzo to have less anxiety. That helped a lot as I was feeling so nauseous and bad. I was close to crying. It went very well as usually when I’m anxious to do something stressful. There were two people from the hotel interviewing me. I answered all the questions. I talked about my studies and I also talked in English. The only bad thing is that they would have to give me accommodation and food as it’s too far from our home there. However, I feel more safe in my home so I don’t know if I will feel comfortable in the hotel. You also need a certificate from your university and since I’m not studying anymore that would be impossible to get. Maybe, they don’t consider it important anymore. I got an email back last week that they want to do a personal interview when I’m in Spain. I guess that’s a good sign. I’m also so anxious to do that as I haven’t done that before. I’m just happy and proud of myself of facing my anxiety rather than always hiding from my fears πŸ’ͺ

I also applied for another internship at a 5 stars hotel in Valladolid. That’s also a spa hotel. There you would earn €400 and they could even hire you when you finish your internship. I applied to do a Summer job too which is to help at a surf school and surf camp in the north of Spain in Cantabria. You would get accommodation and food in return of working a few hours. You can also go surfing which is what I really want to do soon. It’s been way too long! πŸ„β€β™€οΈπŸŒŠ I will wait for all the answers. All of these things will not make me rich haha πŸ˜‚ but it’s worth the experience. What do you guys think? Let me know your thoughts.

Thank you all for reading my February favourites post. I hope you all enjoy it. It’s nice to focus on all the positive things during a month rather than always staying with the bad things. It’s much easier to think negative than positive. What were your favourites of my list? Do you also love to eat in a restaurant as much as I do? πŸ˜‹πŸ΄What did you enjoy last month? Let me know. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina