Hey lovelies 💕,
Before I want to share with you all my March favourites I want to share you this blog post. In this post I will write about how well I did my internship interview today at the 5 stars hotel in a village near to Valladolid called Sardón de Duero. I already wrote in this blog post about how I applied for this internship and how I did my Skype interview. I was so anxious to do that and had to take a benzo medication for my anxiety before I did it. It went pretty well. After two weeks they emailed me back that they wanted to do a personal interview when I was going to Spain which brings me to here.
I was pretty excited about it but also super scared and anxious. Anxiety never leaves me and is pretty high lately so I suffer a lot. I had this personal interview planned two weeks ago but I was so anxious that I postponed it until today. I can’t keep postponing as it will not help me to face my fears. So I decided to do it today the 2th of April at 11.30 in the morning which is so early for me as my sleep routine is messed up as usually.
I went to bed last night with anxiety and took a benzo to calm me down. The strange thing is that it made my heartbeat faster when I just wanted to feel calm and have a normal heartbeat. I slept like 6 hours which is way too less for me and when I woke up I felt again anxious. I’m happy I did the interview today because yesterday I had to go to the toilet often because of drinking a milkshake in the weekend which was too cold together with my period coming and anxiety. I still felt anxious though so I took a benzo again but felt again like my heart was beating so fast. This time I wasn’t nauseous and I just ate some cookies so almost nothing to not vomit from anxiety. I also took some sugar to not be dizzy. I have to prepared for everything always.
I almost didn’t want to go again today but I went with my lovely mother. We were supposed to go with the taxi and then the bus from Valladolid but at the end we went with the taxi all the way to Sardón de Duero because otherwise we would have to walk from that village to the hotel which was about 4 km. The woman who drove the taxi was very nice and gave us a discount of €15 because the total price was €30. In Holland it would be even more expensive. I was happy that we were on time. We still had to walk a bit to the hotel as the hotel is in such a beautiful place full of vine yards and beautiful nature 🏩🌲🌳🍇.
When we arrived at the main entrance of the hotel a woman came to us and said that we also could have gone with the taxi until the entrance. I said the name of the woman I was searching for the interview. Then we had to call by the wine office and they opened the door. All the doors are locked and there are cameras everywhere. I guess it’s normal because it’s a 5 stars hotel and also the best hotel in Spain and Portugal and one of the best in the world. We waited downstairs until the woman from my skype interview came downstairs and I could go upstairs to the office. She said that I could go to that room and then closed the door. That was the worst of it haha the waiting part. I felt soooo anxious and my heart was beating so fast 😥. Maybe I waited for only 5 or 10 minutes but it felt much longer.
Finally, the woman from HR came and also the man who interviewed me through Skype who is the director of butlers. They asked me almost the same questions as through the Skype interview which I liked because I was prepared for it. I told my strengths and weaknesses. I told them I’m compassionate, sensitive and helpful person. I also said that I would have to improve dealing with pressure in work and in life and better planning. They told me about what I would do as a trainee. I would have to work being a recepcionist but also having personalised contact with the clients. This hotel is super special because there’s a special service of being a butler which means bringing a welcome drink to the room of the guests and putting flowers in the room before they arrive. These special things is what makes the guests come back because they love the personalised service in this unique hotel. This hotel also has a spa, makes their own wine and there are yoga classes and meditation. I really need to stay here once even though it cost €400 for one night but it’s definitely worth it 👌💗
I also talked in English to prove that I can speak well English. The only bad thing is that I need an agreement from my university and since I’m not studying anymore I don’t know if I will get that. It’s almost two years since I graduated. Hopefully, I can fix a paper or something. They also told me that I would get €250 and accomodation and food which depends of the shift. The morning shifts are really early from 7 o’clock till 3 o’clock and the afternoon shifts are from 3 o’clock till 11 o’clock. I would have to live with some other trainees in a house in the village of Sardón de Duero which is 4 km from the hotel. I don’t know if I would walk to the hotel or go with someone. That also makes me anxious because I’m so used to live at home by my parents and that feels safe. I only lived once with a family during my exchange time and it went wrong. I felt so anxious and began to drink much which isn’t the case anymore but I still find it hard to trust people. I also love to have my privacy. They say they have people from all over the world doing an internship there.
I’m just happy I did it because it’s a huge milestone for me to overcome this fear today. It was definitely outside my comfortzone. They were all so friendly and I shouldn’t have been worried about it but that’s the curse of suffering with anxiety. The hotel is unbelievable beautiful and in the middle of nowhere full of pines, nature and vine yards 😍🍇. I love the smell of the pines. It creates a sense of peace and happiness ✨. At the end of the interview we said goodbye and they will tell me if I get the internship or not. It also depends if I get the agreement from my university as they are also going to contact my university. It’s going to be almost impossible to be honest. I went downstairs again where my mother was waiting and the woman of HR who was just a few years older than me showed us the way which we had to follow to go to the village to catch the bus to Valladolid. She was from the same village where my grandmother was a teacher. Such a coincidence. They almost even wanted to bring us by car but I said that we could walk it. They said it would be 10 minutes well my mother and I walked 35 minutes haha so much 😂. It was a nice walk within the pines along side the river Duero. It was also sunny so it was okay 🌞👌.
In the village we had to wait like almost two hours for the bus to Valladolid because that’s the bad thing of living in a village. There are not many buses during a day. One day I will have to learn to drive car even though I’m scared of that too. Sometimes it makes life easier. We ate at the bus station of Valladolid a delicious meal with potatoes, some meat, eggs and as dessert ice cream and yoghurt. I was then crying and I also cried a lot at home later because I felt emotional and anxious after the whole day.
Also I was angry because I don’t want to go again to Holland because I feel like I always have to go where my parents go because I have no money. I also don’t want to feel pressured again to search for a job there. I was also angry because I’m already two weeks in Spain and didn’t see any of my friends. I was suppose to meet one friend and again she couldn’t see me. I’m just so done with it all. I feel like I connect more with internet friends nowadays than real friends. I’m done being there always for everybody when almost nobody is there for me. It hurt so much 😢. I also went to the church today to light up some candles to bring peace in my heart 🙏. Fortunately, I could make the suitcase today and watch a nice Spanish serie with my mother at home. I’m just happy this day is over 💪.
Thank you all for reading this blog post and listening to me. What do you think of this internship? Do you have any tips? How would I get that agreement of my university when I’m not studying there anymore? Let me know your thoughts. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.
Much love 💕,