Will I ever make my wildest and biggest dreams come true?

Hola lovelies πŸ’•,

I wanted to write a more uplifting post today but I feel like I can’t. I cried last night for a few hours and I just have to write it down here. I always have to write about how I’m feeling on that moment because if I don’t do it that moment will pass and I wouldn’t be able to write about it anymore. It wouldn’t feel real anymore. I would never fake how I feel on my blog because then I wouldn’t be honest and authentic on my blog. I always want to be honest in real life and online. This blog post will be about some feelings and thoughts I have lately, why I cried last night, and about reaching our dreams.

So, last night I was just scrolling through Intagram when I saw a picture of one of my best friends with her boyfriend and then I saw something more and was in shock 🀯. I just couldn’t stop crying. My good friend got engaged and didn’t tell me anything. I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend. I was like what?! I felt left out and hurt. Some hours has passed and I still feel that way. I had to cry so much. I’m not jealous of her. I always want the best for everyone and want everyone to be happy. I’m also on my period so I’m even more emotional and sensitive for everything. Even though I’m sometimes in Spain for a few months and then I come back to The Netherlands I always love to keep in contact with my friends and family. When such a good friend doesn’t say such an important thing of their life well I guess it’s normally to feel left out and lonely. I also am afraid or friendship will change. I’m so afraid of loosing people. The break up of my first love makes me extremely afraid of people walking away from my life. Of course, I have to be happy for my friend which I’m but then I began to think negatively about my own life and how far behind I’m with the rest of my friends. I feel like I’m the only one not reaching milestones in life.

You know that moment you are lying in bed and you feel like your whole world is crashing down? Well, that’s what happened last night. It’s not only this news which makes me feel that way. I feel lost for so long in my life. For like two years I feel like I’m just surviving through life instead of living. I can’t move on in life because of anxiety πŸ˜”. My mother understand me the best and says I have to go to the doctor for it. I had some talks a few years ago with a social worker and got nauseous every time so yeah I don’t know if that would help. My mother takes valium so sometimes when I’m really anxious I take that from her too and I also have some anti anxiety meds being subscribed from the doctor in Spain. My father is also there for me but I would prefer if I ever ask for help as in therapy do it in Spain. There are really good professionals out there. To be honest I’m also afraid of asking for help and speaking up.

It’s something that I keep repeating and I’m sorry if I write about this much lately like I did in this blog post. It’s just how I feel often. It makes me depressed and anxious to see all people moving on with their lives while I can’t. Many of my friends are in a relationship, are getting jobs and moving in with each other. I feel like I will be the last one to settle down or will not reach anything in life. Do we have to reach some goal in life or is it all just a myth of society to keep us going? It’s not that I want to die even though I really say that a lot to my mother mostly and I also think it a lot. I will never do anything to myself. I would be too scared for that. It’s just and always have been that I’m afraid of death but also of life and therefore I can’t move on in life. It’s so hard. It’s though to feel this way as I don’t know what the solution would be.

What felt good last night was that in those bad moments I always write in the Yoga Girl Community on Facebook. It’s my safe space like this blog πŸ’—πŸ™. It feels good to know that you aren’t alone with your thoughts and feelings. This all can feel too much and makes me feel so lonely. It makes me feel a bit better to know that there’s someone out there who also is feeling your feelings and maybe even in that moment. It makes it feel less isolating. Being a highly sensitive person is just so overwhelming sometimes. It’s a blessing but sometimes also a curse because every little thing hit me in life. I worry too much, I get anxious fast and I feel every emotion of all the people I love in life. It’s hard to be sensitive in a world where not everyone understands that.

What I’m the most afraid of is thinking that I won’t reach my dreams in life. I’m happy seeing my friends and all the people I love getting married, having babies and doing all the things they love. I just wish I will live the life I dream of too in the future. Yesterday I applied again to a job which is to work for the surf brand O’Neill in a shop in Spain. I just never get any reply back from a job and if I get one then it’s mostly negative. It makes me feel like I want to give up on everything in life. I’m tired. Really. I’m so tired of everything. I’m 26 years, still so young and have my life ahead of me. How can I say that? It’s just how I feel. Feeling anxious about a lot of things and going through life while feeling anxious is really exhausting. I just wish there would be a cure to that. I just also always feel like nothing makes sense if we all die one day. It makes me go in a negative state and it’s hard to let those thoughts go in that moment.

The most inspiring thing of all of this is that YES OF COURSE I HAVE DREAMS ✨. I want to be able to say I went for it and made them all come true. I just don’t know how to begin. I want to write a poetry book and maybe publish it. I want to be able to surf well and surf some waves πŸ„β€β™€οΈπŸŒŠ. I want to travel the world and go to amazing places like Costa Rica, Hawaii, California and Aruba πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ό 🌴. I want to take singing 🎢 classes or maybe join a choir again. I want to go to the yoga retreat of Yoga Girl in Aruba. I would love to have a house on the beach and see the sea every time I wake up. I just want to live a happy life, do the things I love, be surrounded by the people I love and not feel constantly anxious about everything. Most of all, I just want to heal myself while I heal others in this world 🌍. Is that too much to ask for? I want to be of service in this world and I know that will be the key to contribute to the world while feeling purposeful. Just writing these sentences makes me cry because deep down in my heart I know that I have a purpose. It’s just that I don’t know how to make all these dreams happen and I find it hard to find a specific job in something I love to do. Then I feel overwhelmed and get anxious of all of it and don’t do anything.

One of my best pen pal friends wrote me some lovely messages today and one of them was that I’m being too hard on myself. It’s definitely true and I always have been way too hard on myself. I also sometimes feel that I give more love then I will ever receive in my life which I wrote about in this blog post. I truly believe that there are some people born who give more love than they will ever receive back. I’m also one of them. I’m a giver. I give too much and you can’t go on in life when you are constantly giving and not receiving the same love back. It makes it all so exhausting. I have to be able to set more boundaries.

So back to my question. Will I ever be able to make my big dreams come true? Maybe I will but it all just takes time. It’s also okay if I think of new dreams and throw other dreams in the bin. Life changes constantly and so do we. Experiences change us. Our interest changes within the years through life. We have just this one life. We are all doing the best we can. It’s okay to cry, to be angry and to be happy. My most important lesson of today was that it’s okay to feel. Let it be πŸ’—πŸ™.

To love and let go, love and let go, love and let go…it’s the single most important thing we can learn in this lifetime.– Rachel Brathen

Rachel Brathen also called Yoga Girl which is my biggest inspiration in life wrote a new book which is about loss, gratitude and love. She lost her best friend in a car accident while she was going through surgery for her appendix. It’s a heartbreaking story. I’m ready to heal my heart while reading this book. It will come this week by post. I need it. It’s about all kinds of loss in life.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. Do you also feel this way? What advice would you give me? How do I feel less lonely and more purposeful in life? How can we all reach our wildest dreams while being fearful and anxious all the time? Let me know lovelies. Your words and advice are always so appreciated πŸ’—πŸ™. I love you all so much. Thank you for always holding space for me. I will be there for you too. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

World Suicide Prevention Day πŸ•―οΈπŸ’—πŸ™

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I wrote this for World Suicide Prevention Day and shared it on Instagram but never here. It was 10 September but it’s never too late to share it here too. September is also Suicide Prevention Month. It’s an important topic that has to be spoken about. Also as I consider myself a menta health blogger and advocate I keep on writing about this topic. I also suffer from anxiety as you know by now so writing about it makes me feel less alone. We can be there for each other. We have to be vulnerable, honest and help each other. Only then can we all heal in this world πŸ™πŸ’•βœ¨.

Today is an important day because it’s World Suicide Prevention Day. This has to be important every day, not only just today. There are two important projects/organizations which help people in need with the prevention of suicide which are TWLOHA and the Proyect Semicolon. It’s important that organizations and also NGO’s help all the people in need. There still has to be a lot of improvement in the help we all need. Waiting lists are way too long, help is not always available in the right time and also the treatment is not being right sometimes. So there still need to change a lot in the mental health sector to be better accessible for everyone in need πŸ’—.

Suicide is still one of the main causes of death in this world. More than 800.000 people die each year by suicide. That’s one person every 40 seconds. Women tend to have more suicidal thoughts whereas there are more men who die by suicide. Men are more silence about their struggles than women. I believe in equality so everyone has the right to speak up about their emotions or feelings regardless their gender. Speaking up is a sign of strength and is not a weakness. Crying is also not a weakness. We all cry. Sometimes we hold so much in us that at the end we fell apart. That means that you have been strong for way too long. It’s okay to fall apart as we find ourselves back with breaking apart and letting ourselves go. Let it all go ✨.

I think a person who has a mental illness can have suicidal thoughts. It’s more easier for them as they are already struggling with their mental health. I suffer from anxiety myself and also have these thoughts sometimes. I know that I will not act on it so I feel like my struggles don’t even matter. You have to know that no problem is worse than any other problem, how little or big it. We all matter and what we feel is real. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I just wish we would treat every mental illness with respect, compassion and understanding. Everyone deserve help and every experience is valid. Not because someone has it worse than you means that your feelings and thoughts don’t count.

I’m blessed for all the beautiful and amazing people I know in my life, online and in real life. Thank you for the friends and family who are always there for me ❀️ . I will also be there for anyone in this world who need to speak up about it. I still feel like I can speak about it easier online or with people who really understand me. It’s still somehow a taboo and this needs to end. The only way to help each other is to be able to speak up about our struggles in our mental health. We all have physical and mental health. We can all suffer from it and can suffer from a mental illness. It has no race, gender, sexuality or nationality.

The point is suicide is everywhere around us. We can’t close our eyes and act like we don’t see it. I really hate how people care about others when it’s too late. We have to check on our loved ones when we see the signs to be able to prevent suicide. Not all is lost if we keep raising awareness about it. Also instutions and mental health centers have to be able to help people in need whenever they need it. Nowadays I hear a lot of bad stories of how there’s only help available when it’s almost too late and also stories that doesn’t end well. You matter and your feelings are valid. When you are in crisis you need to be able to get the help you need in that moment and you deserve to have a great treatment afterwards to not fall back into crisis again. Also I think suicide prevention is very important. Workers in the mental health sector have to intervent early such as with suicide prevention. This hopefully could lead to less people dying by suicide.

I really know we can help each other and make this world a better place to live in if we all commit to it πŸŒπŸ’—πŸ™. There needs to be help available for everyone who needs it. I hope that I can help these people in the future. I hope to be of service for those who need it. Tomorrow needs me because my purpose in life is to heal myself while helping others. Remember, you are loved. You are worth it. You are enough even if you don’t feel that all the time. You really are SO enough. The world is brighter because of YOU! We need the darkness in life to find the light at the end of it. You are never alone πŸ’—. We are all in this together πŸ’ͺ

Thank you all for reading this important blog post. What do you think of suicide prevention? Do you think it would help? What do you think needs to change in the mental health sector to be it accessible for everyone? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Music of August πŸ’—πŸŽΆ & 400 followers πŸŽ‰πŸ’ž

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Here is another beautiful month full of amazing music! The music I loved the most in August was of course the beautiful new album Lover of my queen Tay Tay aka Taylor Swift yeahhh πŸ˜πŸ‘Έ. Let’s do this.

I also happy that I reached 400 followers which I’m so proud of. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for being there for me in the good and bad times. I will stay with you all forever. Love you so much πŸ’ž

Taylor Swift – Lover

Finally Taylor Swift released her seventh album! πŸ˜πŸŽ‰ I was waiting so long for this to happen. I loved the album Reputation but I wanted again some country and other pop songs like her older albums. I think this album really comes back to her old roots again and it is just so amazing. I loved all the songs so much. This album is about all the forms of love such as family, friends, relationships and life in general. I’m also so proud that this album is her own. Maybe, I will do a review of all the songs next month. For now I just want to share some of my favourites songs of this album. I already told you guys that I loved the song Me, YNTCM and The Archer.

It’s definitely one of my fav albums ever πŸ’žβœ¨. That’s why I also bought it which you can read in this blog post. Thank you Tay Tay for being so real, honest and always so lovely. I can’t wait to meet you one day and see you live. That would be a dream coming true. I’ve been a fan since I was 16 years old so yeah already 10 years and I will keep counting more years. I wish you so much love, happiness and luck in your personal life and in your career. I love you so much, to infinity and beyond, to the moon and back πŸŒœπŸŒ›.

Taylor Swift – Paper Rings

“I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings
Uh huh, that’s right
Darling, you’re the one I want, and
I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this
Uh huh, that’s right
Darling, you’re the one I want, and
Paper rings and picture frames and dirty dreams
Oh, you’re the one I want”

THIS SONG IS SUCH A BOP. MY FAVOURITE. I always start to dance around my home like crazyyyy πŸ’ƒ. I love the sound, the beat and asdfghjkl it makes me so happy πŸ˜πŸ˜„.

Taylor Swift – Lover

This is just such a beautiful and romantic song πŸ’˜. I love the video too as it describes her life. You can see the house with all the different rooms with represents her albums, her different eras. This song would be perfect for a dance on a wedding πŸ’’ πŸ€΅πŸ‘°. It sound so sweet and it’s just such a good love song. Also her whole album makes me feel in love even though I have no lover lol. I’m so alone πŸ˜”πŸ˜‚.

Taylor Swift ft. Dixie Chicks – Soon you’ll get better

Ooh-ah, soon you’ll get better
Ooh-ah, soon you’ll get better
Ooh-ah, you’ll get better soon
‘Cause you have to


And I hate to make this all about me
But who am I supposed to talk to?
What am I supposed to do
If there’s no you?

This song makes me so emotional and I cried when I first heard it. It’s a beautiful country song. It’s about Taylor’s mom who has cancer. She got again cancer this year. I really hope she will get better. It reminds me of all the people suffering from cancer, mental illness or any other illness. I hope they all will get better soon πŸ™.

Taylor Swift – London Boy

Such a lovely and happy song! We all know that she wrote this song about her lover Joe Alwyn. I wish her so much happiness and love. She definitely deserves it all ❀️.

Ariana Grande ft. Social House – Boyfriend

From one queen to another queen πŸ‘‘. Ari released another amazing song! I love the beat and just all of it. I guess we all have one person in our life which we like but are not together with them. However, we also don’t want to see them with anyone else. It’s definitely a complicated mess.

Miley Cyrus – Slide away

“Move on, we’re not 17
I’m not who I used to be
You say that everything changed
You’re right, we’re grown now”

AMAZING SONG. Miley is back and I’m so happy! This is one of my fav songs right now. The video was released in September but the song was released in August so I will already share the official video. She’s beautiful and her voice is so goooood. I know she will keep on releasing good music. She’s on fire!πŸ”₯

Amaia – QuedarΓ‘ en nuestra mente

Amaia who is the winner from the Spanish talentshow OperaciΓ³n Triunfo 2017 will release her new album next Friday which also included this beautiful song. I love that she only release music which are her style. This may not sound like the typical pop songs but I really love it so much. It makes me feel nostalgic and she also has such a lovely and dreamy voice. I can listen to her for hours and never get tired of her voice. She’s just amazing.

RosalΓ­a ft. Ozuna – Yo x ti, Tu x por mi

RosalΓ­a is the one of the most famous Spanish artist right now and I’m just so proud of her. Her music is amazing πŸ‘. This song has so much flow and sounds so good! Ozuna is a singer who sings reggeaton music. My fav part is always LA ROSALÍAAAA.

Lola Indigo ft. Don Patricio – Lola bunny

The chorus just sticks in my head. I really like this catchy song. Lola Indigo was the first one who had to leave during the Spanish talentshow two years ago and now she is becoming one of the biggest artists in Spain and also in Latin America. She also dances so well.

Julia Michaels – Body

I just wanna love my body like you love my body
I wanna look in the mirror and tell it that it’s beautiful like you do
I wanna love my body like you love my body
Wanna make it feel like it’s incredible like you do
And I don’t see what you see
But I want to, I want to, oh
Love my body like I love your body

Her album Inner Monologue Part 2 was released in June but she just released this beautiful video of the song Body. It’s definitely one of my fav songs of her new album. We all may feel insecure about our body but we have to learn to love our bodies. We are all enough. We may not always believe that we are enough but really we are.

Julia Michaels – 17

This is also one of my favourite songs of Julia. It makes me so happy and I love the video she just released. She is so cute and I could listen to her voice for like forevah because it’s so different and raw than other artists I listen to. She’s is an amazing singer-songwriter πŸ’žπŸ‘Œ.

Cupido ft. Lola Indigo & Alizzz – Autoestima

I love this collaboration with Lola Indigo. It’s a nice song. They sing about how their parents made them a beautiful face and that beautiful people are not getting liked that much. In the video you also see that there are surrounded with trash. It’s funny hahah πŸ˜‚.

Marilia MonzΓ³n – AlgarabΓ­a

It’s sad that this don’t get that much views and interaction like other songs from other concursants of the Spanish talentshow. Marilia just released this happy song which I really like. AlgarabΓ­a means a noice produced by happy and festive voices which is a good description of her song.

Davina Michelle – Better now

“I think it’s better now, better now, let go
I’m better off, I’m better off alone
It’s time to grab my shit and leave
You clean this mess up after me
It’s better now, better now, I go”

There are not that much artists I love in The Netherlands but Davina is one of them. This song is awesome! I also love how there are two girls kissing in the video as LGBT+ representation is so important in the music industry and just always in this world we live in πŸŒπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ. Love is love.

Ava Max – Torn

I love her other songs such as Sweet but psycho and So am I more but this song is also great. I can’t wait for more new music of her to release.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. What was your favourite song of August? Have you listened to any of these songs? Which song did you like from my post? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

I feel like everyone is living their best life, except me

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I just needed to write this down here and share it with you all. I hope my thoughts make some sense as these feelings and thoughts make me feel bad and sad 😒. I have this in my mind for so long right now that I just need to let it out. The best place to let it out is here on my blog writing about it. I’m going to write about how I feel right now. I feel like everyone is living their best life, except me. It’s like I’m stuck in this place in life and I don’t know how to seem to get out of it. It hurt me.

I feel like everyone is going on with their lives and enjoying their lives while I’m stuck in this hole. I’m stuck in a place and I don’t know how to get myself out of it. I’m not depressed but anxiety gets in my way and makes me also feel this way. I know everything you see on social media isn’t real because most people only show the good things in life like when they get a great job, are getting married πŸ’, have a baby or buy a house 🏑 . I see so many people I know achieving all big milestones in life while I just watch them from the sideline. It still hurt me sometimes to look at those pictures and think wow I’m 26 years old and I’m so behind in life. I struggle to find a job as you all know by now. I’m single and have no driver license. I sometimes get sad and also anxious about how I feel like nothing is going right in my life. I’m just surviving instead of living.

Some people I follow share their best travel pictures and go to amazing places where I dream of going to πŸŒŠπŸŒ΄πŸ„β€β™€οΈ 🌞. I know I also travel and have fun with my family and friends but that doesn’t mean it’s all okay. We all struggle but not everyone shows it in this world we live in. This is also the reason why I’m so looking into real friendships, relationships or any other connection may it be online or in real life. I crave honesty, empathy, compassion and understanding. I don’t want to be surrounded by toxic or fake people. I have done that in the past and it only made me feel worse in the long term. Being bullied during high school also makes me feel more careful around people now as I don’t want to get hurt again. It’s like I have a wall surrounding myself which is also not always good to have. I just wish people would be more real these days as I just can’t deal with all the fake people and things out there in this world πŸ’”. Is it too much to ask for realness in this world? Does it mean more for people to be fake just to impress others? I really don’t know. I just know that being real is what I want to be all my life even though that means loosing people who aren’t on the same vibe as I’m.

You know that feeling when you see someone who used to be your friend but you don’t even talk much anymore and then they ask you how are you are doing and about your life? Well, I just don’t want to talk about the truth with certain people as many people are only curious, want to gossip around about the things you said and don’t even care at all. They will tell you how awesome their life is and all that fake stuff which I can’t deal with. I just always have to lie about things in my life which I don’t like because I want to be real. In those moments I just don’t know what to say. I don’t like lying but I also don’t like to share intimate stuff with people who don’t even care. It’s none of their business you know. I have always been that sweet, innocent girl and I still am in some ways but I also don’t want that people take adventage of me anymore because of my soft personality.

I’m maybe not the only one who think they are behind in life. I know life is not a timeline of things we have to achieve at a certain age but society constantly throws it on our face. It’s hard to not look away from it and think about it in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep. When I say to people in The Netherlands I still live at home they look strange at me. In Spain children live like for so long with their parents. I really love that family is important in Spain as when the parents are older the children care about them. I think that’s also a normal thing to do when your parents have cared about you your whole life. I love my parents and they are the most important people in my life together with my whole family and all my friends in real life and online of course πŸ’–. It’s just that society will not stop with these messages. We have to know that it’s our life and that everything is okay. We have to tell ourselves that everything we do in life is at the right time. We are all different and we all lead different lives. If we would be all the same it would be pretty boring.

I also have to remind myself that I’m doing my best and that that is enough. People think anxiety is an excuse for not doing certain things such as working. I would love to feel good and be able to do a good job. I’m applying for jobs but often don’t hear back. They will say I’m lazy, don’t try hard enough or that the things which takes me effort cause me anxiety. It’s true that working, going to the dentist, doctors and all that stuff scare me and cause me anxiety and sometimes also panic attacks. It’s not my fault. I don’t get anxiety when I travel only during the flight or when I have fun with my friends at a concert. I guess some people think that people who suffer from a mental illness just make everything up so that we don’t have to work or do scary stuff. I’m happy with the friends, family, blogging community, pen pals and the yoga girl community. I love all your support and appreciate it so much πŸ’—πŸ™. I also heard lately how I’m not doing an effort of feeling better because of suffering of anxiety. I don’t know if going to therapy would help me because I was vomiting and nauseous all the time when I went to speak to someone a few years ago. I don’t want to go through that again. Going to doctors, dentists and all that stuff makes me anxious so yeah it’s a circle where I don’t go of so I don’t know what to do.

I just wish that we all will achieve our dreams. I have so many dreams but I don’t know how to reach them and that’s when I get stuck and can’t move forward out of fear. We all deserve to achieve our dreams and live a life we are happy about. I hope that we can all find that happiness we are looking for ✨. I also just wish people would be more understanding these days especially for the ones who are struggling. I will keep raising awareness about mental health. It helps for me to be vulnerable enough to write it all down. Maybe it will help someone to feel less alone. Maybe you also feel this way and can share it with me. Maybe we can help each other and find a way out of this mess. Life is a beautiful mess and I’m so happy to be on this road all together. May we laugh. May we cry. May we always stick together for the end of our times πŸ’–.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all understand what I just told you about. Can you relate to my feelings? Do you also feel like everyone is living their best life while you feel behind? How are you doing in life right now? Let me know lovelies. I will be always be there for you like you all are there for me ❀️. That will never change. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

August favourites πŸŠβ€β™€οΈπŸŒžπŸŒŠπŸŽΆ

Holaaaa lovelies πŸ’•,

It’s time for another favourites post. I will share with you all what I did in August. I saw a lot of good movies, swam in the swimming pool, bought some awesome stationery, I bought The Album of Taylor Swift which came out last month and I did some other nice stuff as well. It’s less warm right now which is better but also makes me realize that Summer is ending soon. Summer is my fav season and I get always sad when Summer ends 😭. The dark Winter months make my mental health worse. I love the sunshine 🌞 . I’m just a Summer girl forevah! Right now, I have a bad cold. Hopefully I will feel better soon πŸ™ .

Things I did with my family πŸ‘ͺ:

I bought Taylor Swift Deluxe Album Version 4 😍🎢

I’M SO HAPPY YEAHHH!!!! I bought the beautiful new album Lover of @taylorswift at @elcorteingles when I was going out with my parents πŸ˜πŸŽΆπŸ’—πŸ‘Έβœ¨πŸŒ₯ I love it so much. My fav songs are Paper rings, Lover, YNTCD, London Boy and Soon you’ll get better. I really liked the conversation I had with the worker in El Corte InglΓ©s when I bought it. She said I was lucky because these deluxe versions where sold out that day. She deserve it all! πŸ’— Then she put the cd Lover on and said so you can get in the mood. It really made me so happy haha 😍 I asked her if she also listened to it and she said yes and then she said it’s really nice. I’m so happy I have chosen Taylor Swift as my idol all my life. Tay Tay means so much to me. I love her personality. She’s always so kind, so lovely and so honest. She also got through a lot of though times. I’m so happy that this album is her own album with her credits. Being a fan is more than supporting just your favourite artist. It’s a way of life. They are more than just being an artist, they are a person and deserve their privacy and also I know they aren’t a kind of God.

I love her so much but I also know that she is just a human being who also suffer, cries, goes through though times as loosing the people we love and having a heartbreak πŸ’” . I wish people would think of this more when we love an artist and when we are supporting them. Often in this world it feels like famous people have those perfect lives when they haven’t. I always think that’s much more thougher to go through life being famous because you are always in the public eye. People judge a lot and that hurt. I’m just so blessed to have Taylor in my life. I have been following her for years now since Love Story came out. I was 17 years old and I was falling in love with my first love. It was that time that I listened to songs such as Fairytale and Jump then fall. I felt happy and so in love. Then I turned 19 years and had to go through a though heartbreak. There was Taylor with her music who got me through it. I’m so thankful for her music. I love the song Teardrops on my guitar and Our song.

Thank you Taylor for being such an amazing artist and person. I can’t wait to go to a concert of you! 😍 You mean so much to me. I love you so so much πŸ’• xoxo

Drinking a tea and a piece of pie in hotel El Olid 🍡πŸ₯§

The day I bought the new album of Taylor Swift I also went afterwards to the hotel El Olid with my parents. I love to drink camille tea. I had a delicious chocolate pie and my mother had a piece of apple pie. We had a nice time together.

Eating chinese food with the family 🍽

We celebrated the first anniversary of the wedding of my brother Rafael and VerΓ³nica and the birthday of her mother all together with my mother and her brother in a chinese restaurant in Valladolid. The food was so good 😍. I really loved it so much! We drank sangria 🍷 which was so delicious. We ate rice, chicken, vegetables and noodles. It was really way too much food so we brang some food home for the next day. We had such a great time together. I had never been to this restaurant. It also looked very cozy, nice and the service was really good. I love Spanish food more but this dinner was also very delicious πŸ˜‹. We gave my brother and wife some cookies and a card and we gave the mother of VerΓ³nica some perfume and a card for her birthday. They loved it very much.

Going to the swimming pool 🏊🌞

I went another 6 times to the outdoor swimming pool this month. I’m a mermaid forevah! πŸ§œβ€β™€οΈNow they are closed again until next year which makes me sad. I only go to the swimming pool during the Summer but I really want to go during the Winter too. It’s just harder because I don’t like to wear wet hair outside when it’s cold outside. However, I enjoyed the last days in the swimming pool with my mother and my friend. I was reading The Great Gatsby these days too in the sunshine.

Carrefour shopping πŸ›’

I went to Carrefour one day which is a French multinational. It’s one of my favourite shops and supermarkts. I love that we have so many in Spain. I went one day with my mother to buy a SD card for my phone as the other didn’t work again. I also bought a book πŸ“™ which is about how to make good things happen to you. I heard a lot of great reviews about this book. The writer is a psychiatrist which knows all about mental illnesses and mental health. I hope this self help book will help to conquer my anxiety. I also bought some cup a soup which I always drink in The Netherlands. I also bought some crafts which I can use to sent washi tape to my pen pals or do something else with it. I’m also happy to have bought finally some beautiful Stabilo highlighters which I have seen always on mia‘s blog which is one of my fav bloggers here πŸ’•.

Shopping in Granada πŸ’—

When I went to Granada I bought some nice writing paper in a shop where they had books and stationery. The writing paper is very beautiful with a red rose on it 🌹. In my favourite shop Alle-Hop which we don’t have in Valladolid I bought a golden shiny notebook, colourful markers, cute colourful bracelets, some nice mangets (one is for my daddy, one for myself with the donut on it and the other ones are for some good friends) and a lovely sticky notebook which 15 pages full of beautiful colours, unicorns and clouds. In a hippie shop in Granada I bought some beautiful postcards which I always love to buy in every place I travel to. I also bought in that shop some lavender soap and a beautiful box for it.

Movie night with my mother πŸŽ₯πŸŒƒ

I saw some good movies with my mother because my brother fixed our television. It’s so nice to be able to watch movies and series on TV πŸ“Ί . The movies we watched were Everything, Everything which is also the book I have read this Summer, Pitch Perfect 3, Coco, Mama Mia 2, Dumbo, Blue Jay and Toy Story 1. I loved Coco the most as we never watched it before. It’s such a beautiful movie with beautiful music. It made me realize the importance of family and made me learn that the people we loose in life will never be forgotten. They will always be there for us. I also loved Dumbo so much. I had never watched that Disney movie. I loved it and learned a lot about that movie such as there’s nothing bad about being different.

We also watched some Spanish movies such as La Llamada, Toc Toc and Ocho Apellidos Vascos. The one I loved the most was Toc Toc because it was about 6 people who had a mental illness which was OCD and there were all waiting in the waiting room for the doctor. They were all dated the same day at the same time. The doctor didn’t arrive because he was late from a flight. One only thinks in numbers, another one is afraid of virus and bacteria and another one checks everything at home all the time and is religious. There was also a man who was cursing all the time and saying inappropriate things. Then they begin to share their different OCD’s in the hope to find a cure. It’s such a crazy and funny movie. I think it’s really important to show mental illnesses in a positive light rather than always sharing the negative side of it. This movie definitely will make you feel less alone and will help the ones who suffer from it to know that it’s okay to be sick. There are always people who care about us.

Other amazing things of August ❀️:

Trip to GijΓ³n with my lovely friend πŸŒŠπŸŒžπŸŒ΄πŸ„β€β™€οΈβ›΅

Our trip to GijΓ³n last week was amazing! 😍 It was definitely one of the best holidays evah. I love to discover new cities especially in Spain because every place I go is beautiful. The beaches in Spain are one of the most beautiful ones in the world. They are so wild, beautiful and amazing. Asturias is a beautiful region of Spain. I always get emotional when I have to go back home. I fall in love with every place I go. Asturias has beautiful nature, green landscape (because of the rain) and beautiful beaches 🌊. The people are super friendly, helpful and outgoing. It didn’t rain at all. It was about 25 degrees and at night it was 22 so it was really such a perfect temperature.

Sometimes the sun was shining too. We went to the beach La Playa de San Lorenzo which is so beautiful. There were so many waves. I’m sad I didn’t surf again but I will do it soon. There were loads of people surfing, doing sup or swimming in the sea. We also swam in the sea which was awesome. The water temperature was 19.5/20 degrees which is really warm for the north. I loved it so much! 😍 We ate delicious food and also from the region of Asturias such as fabada Asturiana which are bones with chorizo and sauce. We tried cider 🍻, had delicious breakfast, ate a delicious ice cream and loads of other good food 🍲. We also went to a beach bar called Pura Vida Bar to have breakfast there which was amazing. Pura vida always! ✌️ We also enjoyed the night life which was crazy. We danced the nights away 🎢. There were so many people at the port βš“. I love the beach vibes so much. One boy came to me and said he liked my flower headband 🌸✌️haha forevah a hippie girl!

One night we met lovely people from Basque Country who were celebrating a bachelor party πŸŽ‰. I have family there so it was nice to talk to them. It was so much fun! It’s so nice to meet people who only bring good vibes and respect you. There are so many good people in the world, you just have to find the right ones. We stayed in the Hotel BegoΓ±a 🏩 which was in the city centre and 15 minutes from the bars, beach and shops. I’m happy I went with my lovely friend πŸ’— Te quiero! Let’s keep travelling more and more!

Rotterdam is going to host Eurovision Song Contest 2020 πŸŽΆπŸ‡³πŸ‡±

I will show you below the beautiful video that shows the world that next year Eurovision Song Contest 2020 will take place in Rotterdam, The Netherlands.Β I cried and felt emotional watching this 😍😭 It’s so beautiful. I love how creative and special they made the announcement last Friday. The Netherlands is going to be one of the best host places ever. I just feel it.Β It’s going to be so special ✨. After 44 years Eurovision is coming backΒ to The NetherlandsΒ hell yeahhhh let’s do thisΒ πŸ˜ŽπŸŽ‰πŸ˜πŸŽ€πŸŽΈπŸŽ™οΈπŸŽΆ I hope the tickets will be not so expensive to be able to see it live for the first time in my life. It will be a once in a lifetime experience.

Two years blogging anniversary πŸŽ‰

I’m so happy with my achievement of two years blogging! Times goes by so fast. I wrote all about it in this blog post. Writing definitely heals my life and makes me so happy. I will do it all my life and will never stop writing. I’m so thankful to have met you all. This community is amazing. I love you all so much πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–.

Writing paper from UK πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§πŸ“„

I bought beautiful writing paper from a shop in UK online. I bought it from the shop Sweet Stationery on Etsy. It was so cheap and also the delivery was so fast. You get 26 pages from each design. One is with mermaids and another one is a girl with a flamingo. I find it so beautiful! 😍 I also got free stickers from the shop. I can’t wait to buy more from this shop as I find it difficult to find writing paper in the shops. If anyone know more shops to find it, let me know. I will appreciate it.

10K views on my blog πŸ–₯

I was looking at my statistics of my blog and saw that I have reached 10K views πŸŽ‰. I’m so happy about that. It means so much to me. 10.000 views on my blog wow it sounds so much! I also have almost 400 followers. I hope my blog will continue growing. Much love to you all!

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all liked it. What did you do in August? Do you have a nice Summer time? What are your favourites of my post? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina