I feel like everyone is living their best life, except me

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I just needed to write this down here and share it with you all. I hope my thoughts make some sense as these feelings and thoughts make me feel bad and sad 😒. I have this in my mind for so long right now that I just need to let it out. The best place to let it out is here on my blog writing about it. I’m going to write about how I feel right now. I feel like everyone is living their best life, except me. It’s like I’m stuck in this place in life and I don’t know how to seem to get out of it. It hurt me.

I feel like everyone is going on with their lives and enjoying their lives while I’m stuck in this hole. I’m stuck in a place and I don’t know how to get myself out of it. I’m not depressed but anxiety gets in my way and makes me also feel this way. I know everything you see on social media isn’t real because most people only show the good things in life like when they get a great job, are getting married πŸ’, have a baby or buy a house 🏑 . I see so many people I know achieving all big milestones in life while I just watch them from the sideline. It still hurt me sometimes to look at those pictures and think wow I’m 26 years old and I’m so behind in life. I struggle to find a job as you all know by now. I’m single and have no driver license. I sometimes get sad and also anxious about how I feel like nothing is going right in my life. I’m just surviving instead of living.

Some people I follow share their best travel pictures and go to amazing places where I dream of going to πŸŒŠπŸŒ΄πŸ„β€β™€οΈ 🌞. I know I also travel and have fun with my family and friends but that doesn’t mean it’s all okay. We all struggle but not everyone shows it in this world we live in. This is also the reason why I’m so looking into real friendships, relationships or any other connection may it be online or in real life. I crave honesty, empathy, compassion and understanding. I don’t want to be surrounded by toxic or fake people. I have done that in the past and it only made me feel worse in the long term. Being bullied during high school also makes me feel more careful around people now as I don’t want to get hurt again. It’s like I have a wall surrounding myself which is also not always good to have. I just wish people would be more real these days as I just can’t deal with all the fake people and things out there in this world πŸ’”. Is it too much to ask for realness in this world? Does it mean more for people to be fake just to impress others? I really don’t know. I just know that being real is what I want to be all my life even though that means loosing people who aren’t on the same vibe as I’m.

You know that feeling when you see someone who used to be your friend but you don’t even talk much anymore and then they ask you how are you are doing and about your life? Well, I just don’t want to talk about the truth with certain people as many people are only curious, want to gossip around about the things you said and don’t even care at all. They will tell you how awesome their life is and all that fake stuff which I can’t deal with. I just always have to lie about things in my life which I don’t like because I want to be real. In those moments I just don’t know what to say. I don’t like lying but I also don’t like to share intimate stuff with people who don’t even care. It’s none of their business you know. I have always been that sweet, innocent girl and I still am in some ways but I also don’t want that people take adventage of me anymore because of my soft personality.

I’m maybe not the only one who think they are behind in life. I know life is not a timeline of things we have to achieve at a certain age but society constantly throws it on our face. It’s hard to not look away from it and think about it in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep. When I say to people in The Netherlands I still live at home they look strange at me. In Spain children live like for so long with their parents. I really love that family is important in Spain as when the parents are older the children care about them. I think that’s also a normal thing to do when your parents have cared about you your whole life. I love my parents and they are the most important people in my life together with my whole family and all my friends in real life and online of course πŸ’–. It’s just that society will not stop with these messages. We have to know that it’s our life and that everything is okay. We have to tell ourselves that everything we do in life is at the right time. We are all different and we all lead different lives. If we would be all the same it would be pretty boring.

I also have to remind myself that I’m doing my best and that that is enough. People think anxiety is an excuse for not doing certain things such as working. I would love to feel good and be able to do a good job. I’m applying for jobs but often don’t hear back. They will say I’m lazy, don’t try hard enough or that the things which takes me effort cause me anxiety. It’s true that working, going to the dentist, doctors and all that stuff scare me and cause me anxiety and sometimes also panic attacks. It’s not my fault. I don’t get anxiety when I travel only during the flight or when I have fun with my friends at a concert. I guess some people think that people who suffer from a mental illness just make everything up so that we don’t have to work or do scary stuff. I’m happy with the friends, family, blogging community, pen pals and the yoga girl community. I love all your support and appreciate it so much πŸ’—πŸ™. I also heard lately how I’m not doing an effort of feeling better because of suffering of anxiety. I don’t know if going to therapy would help me because I was vomiting and nauseous all the time when I went to speak to someone a few years ago. I don’t want to go through that again. Going to doctors, dentists and all that stuff makes me anxious so yeah it’s a circle where I don’t go of so I don’t know what to do.

I just wish that we all will achieve our dreams. I have so many dreams but I don’t know how to reach them and that’s when I get stuck and can’t move forward out of fear. We all deserve to achieve our dreams and live a life we are happy about. I hope that we can all find that happiness we are looking for ✨. I also just wish people would be more understanding these days especially for the ones who are struggling. I will keep raising awareness about mental health. It helps for me to be vulnerable enough to write it all down. Maybe it will help someone to feel less alone. Maybe you also feel this way and can share it with me. Maybe we can help each other and find a way out of this mess. Life is a beautiful mess and I’m so happy to be on this road all together. May we laugh. May we cry. May we always stick together for the end of our times πŸ’–.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all understand what I just told you about. Can you relate to my feelings? Do you also feel like everyone is living their best life while you feel behind? How are you doing in life right now? Let me know lovelies. I will be always be there for you like you all are there for me ❀️. That will never change. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina


17 thoughts on “I feel like everyone is living their best life, except me

  1. People might say that people with mental illness don’t try enough, but I’d say most people with mental illness are trying at least 10 times harder than the average person just to get through each day.

    I think a lot of the pretend perfect stuff on social media is because people are trying to hide their own insecurities and they don’t want others to see what’s wrong in their lives. And if someone was just looking at your Instagram without reading what you write about mental health, they’d probably think you were having a great happy life. I like that you’re very real about both the good and the bad. ❀️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your comment πŸ’— You are so right. It’s a lot harder to go through life while you are suffering from a mental illness or any illness. Most people have no idea how it’s to struggle day by day and having to do all the everyday things. It takes a lot of strength to survive every day. That is already enough. That’s so true. I would never pretend because that would only make me feel worse at the end. That’s what they always think because they see me smiling but behind a smile is much more to see such as our struggles. Thank you so much πŸ’– I also love that you are real and honest. Those are qualities hard to find nowadays.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I can relate so much to feeling like I’m stuck behind and everyone I used to know is moving on doing things that I thought I would but can’t because of my health. Know that you’re not alone and like you said, those that pretend they’re living their best life are hiding their insecurities maybe even so they have that one happy place that just showcases the good times. We are all moving at our own pace towards various dreams and because we’re moving (even when it feels like we’re not) we will reach our destination one day, it just takes time. The fact that you want to do these things proves that you’re not lazy and those that don’t see that aren’t even trying to see it, they just wake up wanting to create bad and don’t see the good in others. I don’t know what I want to do with my life at the moment and it’s been that way for a while now but I think I’m just looking in the wrong places for that answer, so at the moment I’m just going to do things I enjoy and make memories with those I love so that even if I never figure it out at least I do something. I amongst many others believe in you and know that you will achieve your dreams. Take care, much love πŸ’–xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aawhhh thank you so much for your lovely words! 😍 I really appreciate it. I can feel and understand you. It’s hard to watch everyone moving on with their lives while you feel like your life is standing still. We are doing just the best we can and that’s okay. You are so right. Every good thing in life takes time. It’s just society which creates that timeline and is constant telling us that we are behind in life. It’s difficult to not listen to those voices. I also don’t know what I want to do in life and that’s okay. Maybe nobody knows and they are just acting like they know. Life is a complicated mess. It’s beautiful but it’s also hard especially when we are struggling with our health. Our health is what matters the most so we have to always care about ourselves. The rest comes later. Doing what we love to do with the people we love is what matters most in life. You are doing just fine. I will also always be there for you and support you with everything in your life. I love you πŸ’—

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Believe me, you’re not alone in feeling everyone else around you is moving forward while you are standing still. I think everyone, no matter how together they seem, experiences this on some level.

    The one thing you truly have going for you is that you are self-aware. You understand who you are. You know what you struggle with. You know you want real relationships, not fake ones. You know so much more about yourself than many other people your age.

    What I’ve had to work on is letting go of the idea that there is a β€œperfect” life. The world/society creates these ideas of what β€œsuccess” looks like. But honestly, the most successful people are often the most miserable. It reminds me of A Christmas Carol. Scrooge has all the money and power…he was successful and moving forward in life…yet he was miserable. On the other hand, his lowly assistant Bob could hardly feed his family, and had a sick child, but he had such a deep love and appreciation for life that his life was by far fuller than Scrooge’s.

    Work on not comparing your life to those around you. You have your own journey and purpose. Your life cannot look like everyone else’s if you are truly fulfilling your destiny here on earth. Focus on what each day needs to look like for the life you were given and try to let go of looking at those around you. That’s what I try to do, and it really does help when I put in the effort. Hang in there! It won’t feel bad forever! I promise! πŸ’œ

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I agree, you really can’t see what’s real on social media anymore but frankly even though I know that I still can’t internalize it either. I feel like everyone is moving forward, taking risks, doing the work and there’s me stunted by decisions and afraid of doing something wrong or something that will plunge me into depression.

    I’m just like you, I can’t stand being anyone who doesn’t fill me positively (I’d rather eat alone than with mediocre “friends”) I try my best to be as real as possible and not be a hypocrite so hopefully I can look to you and you me!

    I agree, I hate talking about myself to people who I know just wants to judge me and belittle me? Like what? Why do they do that?
    And so true about the mental illness stigma, they see it like oh there she goes, too “weak” to do anything again, and it does make me question myself (am I too pampered or do i really have an issue). As much as I want to give you advice and meaningful insights but I struggle with this SO hard too.
    This is a long journey, and I say it all the time but I hope we’ll do fine and do purposeful things in our path ahead. Baby steps. ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much my lovely friend for your sweet words πŸ’—πŸ™ Yes, social media is so fake nowadays. That’s why I love to follow only people who inspire me and who I truly love. Being around people who make you feel good about ourselves is the most important thing in life. It will also make you feel good about yourself too. I can understand you so much. It feels hard to see it that way. I’m here for you and know that we are all in this together πŸ’ͺ We are doing just enough. We will get there even though it may take more time than others. Everything will happen in our own time.

      Ughhh yes me too. I really hate all those fake people and those toxic relationships. Nothing feels real anymore so I only connect with people who are real and honest. Those are the best people. I’m so happy I find you through blogging too because you are awesome πŸ’—.

      It’s hard to talk to those people. I would rather ignore them because they just don’t care and only want to know information to gossip about you. I also think that way. Sometimes I think maybe they are right and I’m faking it but then I think hell no, it’s what I feel and our feelings our valid. Just because someone doesn’t feel that doesn’t mean it isn’t real. It’s real and it’s though to go through life while having our daily struggles with our mental health. They have no idea. You are already being there for me with your words and by listening to me. I will be there for you too, ALWAYS πŸ˜˜πŸ’—. I hope it too. We will make a wish on that ✨ Always baby steps yes!

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      1. I have friends that I love but somehow they don’t make me feel good about myself, either through subtle put-downs or commenting I should be doing more in life or simply even complimenting EVERYONE but stopping abruptly at me or start to say “erm..well, you are nice.” I’m conflicted at this.

        I’m so glad to be able to talk to you about this! Its crazy how you live so faraway and yet here we are on our little corner of the internet!

        And its the worst when you thought they are people who care and love you but instead they make you feel invalid and weak. Grateful to have you from thousands of miles away. Tomorrow will be a better day. πŸ₯°πŸ’•

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I feel like I’m really far behind too! And definitely not living my best life compared to people who travel and eat food that looks amazing and wear really cute clothes and are really fit. But the reality is, I am living MY best life. The one that I can manage and handle and the one that I can afford and the work I can do – and all of it after a really long and hard battle that still goes on, and will go on maybe my whole life.

    I used to think that everything had to happen in big steps, and that if I couldn’t make the big steps then I wasn’t good enough. I’ve had to learn that the smallest steps are the most important ones, and they are the ones that keep me moving toward my goals, even if it takes a long time. But even when I get discouraged I don’t give up, and I am honest with myself about what brings ME joy and what I feel like I can do, and mostly it doesn’t look like what other people do. Now I try to enjoy seeing people do things that work for them while doing my things that work for me. It just takes time, and constantly being kind to yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your reading and for your comment πŸ’—. I so agree with your words. I can feel the strength in your posts and know that you are doing just what you have to do. You are enough. We are doing just the best we can. For some it would look like we aren’t doing enough but screw that because we have to feel good about how we love our life. We only have one life so let’s live it our way and not their way.

      I also always thought that. These are some really good insights and I agree πŸ’― with you. At the end all what matters in life are the little things and that we do the things we love to do. We are all different so it’s okay to lead different lives. I’m proud of you πŸ’— Sending you lots of love xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I can totally relate to this and the best thing, which I know is easier said than done, is to stop comparing your life to other people. Everyone has a different timeline! But I hope you’ll be okay, if you ever need to talk then I’m here! πŸ’›

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your lovely words πŸ’•. You are so right. It’s very difficult to stop comparing to others but I know it’s the best thing we can do. I’m also here for you πŸ’— Thank you so much.

      Like

  7. I’ve felt this way a times. I’m there now which is why I’m taking a social media break. I watched others move forward in ways that I don’t understand. As if they have everything figured out and I don’t and I’m stuck going in circles, going nowhere, getting older

    I remember that God made me, ME and things are moving even when I haven’t seen any tangible progress..Because, “small progress is still progress…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your nice words ❀ I feel like that too and it's hard to not compare ourselves with others when we are constantly seing all those people posting about it on social media. I also prefer to not know it. You are so right. Every little step count. Sending you all my love ❀

      Liked by 1 person

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