I see humans but no humanity πŸ’”πŸ˜’

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I wanted to write a more happier post but I always want to be honest on my blog so I won’t do that. I’m always vulnerable and real on my blog. I always write straight from my heart. Writing straight from my heart also gives me the most inspiration. I don’t like to plan blog posts. It has to flow like life too. These days I don’t feel okay so I will write about my feelings and thoughts. I hope you are all okay and safe. I’m here for you too. This blog post will be about my health, how I feel and about humanity. It feels good to write it all down and have a more sense of peace in my mind.

I was very happy the first days I arrived in Spain. I have been eating delicious tapas, ice creams 🍦🍨🍧, milkshakes, enjoyed the sunshine 🌞 and went swimming a lot πŸŠβ€β™€οΈ. The last days I have felt low and kinda depressed. I also had my period so I’m always more sensitive to everything during that time of the month. Besides, I’m really tired and my throat hurts a lot when I swallow, drink or eat something. It feels like it’s swollen too. If anyone knows me well, you know how anxious I’m about dentists or doctors so I will wait a few more days. The bad thing is that nowadays many people think easily oh no it’s Corona when you can have something else. I don’t have fever or anything. I just hope that it will go away soon. I really want to feel better again.

I also am beginning to feel anxious again to have to go to the dentist in two weeks. I still have to get rid of three wisdom teeth but it’s really draining me. I’m so done with it. It makes me so anxious 😒🦷. The dentist and his team are very lovely but it’s still no fun. Again feeling numb, then not eating a few days and taking meds for pain. It was worse than I imagined but still not fun. The anxiety I feel is always worse than the thing itself. Anxiety is a monster and I would love to be able to tame it one day. I will use valium to calm myself down. I’m so grateful for my mother who is always there for me to hold my hand and be at my side. I couldn’t do anything scary without her help. I really would be so lost. I love her so much. She is the kindest and most loveliest person ever.

I’m a highly sensitive person which means that I feel every emotion more. I feel others suffering more and also love more. It’s a gift but can also be a curse sometimes. I feel others pain deeply. Some of my friends are dealing with emotional stuff. I feel them. I feel people suffering from the pandemic. It hurts me so much to see so much pain in the world. I have been feeling very emotional and sad too these days. I can’t deal with people doing bad things to good people. It breaks my heart πŸ’”. Why is there so much hate in this world? Why can’t people just be nice and kind to each other or is that too much to ask for? I really would love to have some answers on that but I don’t have. I don’t know why bad things happen to good people. It’s so unfair.

I have felt this way too because of the harrasment which yoga_girl is receiving just because she said that’s better not to travel now to Aruba from a country with a high risk of the virus. Aruba suffers from an economic crisis because it depends on tourism. I can understand that but the health and safety of the citizens are more important. I think that’s obvious. I just can’t understand how people find it okay to treathening other people lives. It’s so scary. Rachel and her family have received hate and what’s worse than that is threats. They even stalked their house. I’m happy they are safe now. It would be a shame if they have to move because of some locals being aggressive to them. I’m so happy to be part of the yoga community and will forever be βœ¨πŸ™πŸ’–. We are all here for you guys. Rachel, you are such a light in this world and have healed so many hearts including mine. I’m still healing though. I can’t thank you enough. Be safe. I love you so much.

I have also noticed that I feel more like myself these days. The more I feel, the more I feel like myself because this is who I’m. I get anxious, I get depressed, I feel low but I also can be happy and feel gratitude in my heart. I feel it all. Even though sometimes I find it really hard to live in this world because there are so many scary things and bad people out there too. I’m grateful for the good people I have in my life. I’m so happy to have this beautiful blogging community too who’s always there for me too. I can’t wait to meet you all one day and thank you. You are always there for me when I’m sad and celebrate my happy days. We will always stick together forever.

I wish there would be more people like you all in this world πŸ’žπŸ™. Sometimes I definitely feel like there are so many bad people and things out there. I get scared and anxious and feel such a heavy feeling on my shoulders. I wish for peace, respect and compassion and being one with the world. What the world needs right now is union and not more separation 🌍. There’s already too much of that and it didn’t bring anything good.

May we all find the light and love in our own hearts and spread it to the world ✨. This world needs healing, so much love, compassion and kindness. It will never be enough. What this world needs right now is a group hug which would be now in distance with the pandemic but you all understand what I mean. More love, less hate. More compassion, less cold-hearted people.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you can understand and respect my feelings. How are you feeling lately? Are you also anxious of going to the doctor or dentist? What do you think of humanity? Do you also find it unfair that bad things happen to good people? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post. Be safe you all and remember we are never alone in our struggles. Like I always say, we are always in this together πŸ’ͺπŸ’–.

I love you all so much πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina


13 thoughts on “I see humans but no humanity πŸ’”πŸ˜’

  1. I’d like to think that as many bad people there are there must also be extremely great people that I haven’t heard about or met yet! I’m really sorry to hear your mental and physical well-being is affected, I was so happy to read how much better you were doing in Spain! Being depressed and anxious isn’t your normal okay! Happy days are always waiting for you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much beautiful πŸ’–. I agree so much with you!! There are always good people out there. Yes, it’s at times and when bad things are happening. I’m so sensitive for everything. Awhhh love you girl πŸ’• You are right. Happiness comes in waves too. I hope you are doing well lovely.

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  2. I don’t get it as well, I don’t know what people get from hating someone that much.

    Also, I would like to point out how great you are. When you talked about how you feel other people’s emotion too much. In a world where there is too much vanity, there’s only a few who considers other people’s emotions. πŸ€—

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your lovely words ❀️. So true, hate doesn’t solve anything and only make things worse in this world. It’s just the way I’m. Sometimes it’s hard to feel that much but I also love to help others. We all need a little help from our friends. Sending you loads of love 😘

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Every time I read your posts, it’s like looking into a mirror. So many things you share about your anxiety and your feelings are almost identical with what I deal with in my own life. I guess that’s why I love talking to you and reading your posts.

    I’ve had several doctor appointments this summer and my anxiety just shoots through the roof every time. My blood pressure even spikes when I’m in the doctor’s office. It’s so weird. I can tell myself to calm down and everything will be fine, but my mind just doesn’t believe it!

    The world has definitely been crazy lately. It makes my heart heavy. It seems like it would just be so simple for everyone to get along and treat each other kindly. But for some reason we never do.

    Please keep taking good care of yourself! πŸ’™πŸ’™

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s astounds me that people think the way to control others is to threaten them. It isn’t because in most cases, I’ll do exactly the opposite of what the threatening person wants. I’m just that stubborn. People are crazy nowadays. I hope you have a great day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so right. There are so many mean people out there. I can’t understand it how people think it’s okay to threaten someone. Thank you so much lovely! You too πŸ’–

      Liked by 1 person

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