Music of August πŸŽΆβ€οΈ

Hola lovelies πŸ’•,

I feel like it’s been a long time since I posted a blog. I’ve been feeling depressed, a bit anxious and bad as you could read on my last blog post. I woke up and the whole week I felt this way. It’s not just that I lack a purpose in life. I feel the suffering and the state of the world SO much because I’m a highly sensitive person. It’s okay to feel but sometimes it gets way too overwhelming. I’m happy to feel again lighter and more hopeful. Here’s to better times ahead πŸ™βœ¨. I guess especially in these times we have to keep this hope alive because otherwise we wouldn’t be able to cope. It’s too much negative news all the time. It’s okay to take a social media break. Do what feels good to you. I’m back in The Netherlands since a few days. I already miss Spain 😒πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ. Hopefully we will be back soon.

In this blog post I will share you my favourite music of August which includes the AMAZING album Folklore by Taylor Swift 😍🎢, some amazing Spanish songs by Aitana ft. Morat, Lola Indigo and much more.

Taylor Swift – Folklore

OMGGGG MY FAV ARTIST EVER RELEASED A NEW ALBUM JUST AS A SURPRISE!!! 😍😍😍 She announced it and bam there it was. Taylor Swift, the queen of the music industry πŸ‘ΈπŸ‘‘ as known was the artist of the decade. I really love her so much. I love her as a person SO much and also her music is just the best and most beautiful. I loved her last album Lover so much. This album was something totally different and less pop which was really nice. I also missed at times the country Taylor. This is one of my favourite albums of her and I keep listen to it on repeat. I can’t stop it. It’s way too good. She sings about so many stories. She is THE person to write them. I also wanted to make an apart blog post for it later. She wored together with Bon Iver, The National en Jack Antonoff. I love this alternative album SO much πŸ₯°. Its perfect for the end of Summer and beginning of Autumn. It makes me feel nostalgic, sad and it has mistery in it. All my songs are my favourite haha I can’t choose but I will try to choose my favourites which you can listen below.

Taylor Swift – cardigan

”Vintage tee, brand new phone
High heels on cobblestones
When you are young, they assume you know nothing
Sequin smile, black lipstick
Sensual politics
When you are young, they assume you know nothing”

THIS song and the video is so amazing! WOW so beautiful!!! 😍 She directed this all by herself. She choosed the clothes, make up and just everything. I’m so impressed and also not because she literally can do everything. The visuals are out of the world. I love this song. It brings me such a great sense of calm. She also looks so beautiful. The scene in the forest and in the sea are my favourites.

Taylor Swift – the last great american dynasty

And they said “There goes the last great American dynasty”
Who knows, if she never showed up what could’ve been
There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen
She had a marvelous time ruining everything

This is another amazing song which also has such a great story behind it. It’s about a woman from St. Louis who is named RebekahΒ West Harkness. She is a famously wild heiress who once owned the Rhode Island coastal mansion that Swift purchased in 2013 for about $17 million. I really like this connection so much. She always have so much stories to tells us in her songs.

Taylor Swift ft. Bon Iver – exile

I think I’ve seen this film before
And I didn’t like the ending
You’re not my homeland anymore
So what am I defendin’ now?
You were my town
Now I’m in exile seein’ you out
I think I’ve seen this film before

This duet is SO beautiful with Bon Iver!!! 😍 This is one of my favourite songs ever. The low voice of Bon Iver blends really well with Taylor in this song. It’s a sad song and makes me feel so much. This song is about a doomed couple rehashing their relationship. It beings very low and when they sing together it explodes which is my favourite part ever. You can feel the emotion in it. This song is just in prefect harmony.

Taylor Swift – betty

But if I just showed up at your party
Would you have me?
Would you want me?
Would you tell me to go fuck myself
Or lead me to the garden?
In the garden would you trust me
If I told you it was just a summer thing?
I’m only seventeen
I don’t know anything but I know I miss you

The songs cardigan/betty and august are a β€˜Teenage Love Triangle’. James and Betty are two teens who were dating, but over the summer James started secretly sleeping with another girl. Betty found out about the affair from Inez, and tried to break up with James but it sounds like they got back together in the end. β€˜Cardigan’ is from Betty’s point of view, lamenting the loss of young love. β€˜August’ is from the perspective of the other woman, who had the secret summer affair with James. And β€˜betty’ is all about James trying to get Betty back. Taylor is so good in storytelling. This song sounds so country which I really did miss these years. I really love this song. I also like the harmonica too. It makes it even better.

Aitana ft. Morat – MΓ‘s de lo que apostΓ©

Aitana is becoming such an amazing artist since she participated in the Spanish talent show OperaciΓ³n Triunfo. This song is so catchy! It’s so amazing 😍. Also, Morat is an amazing band from Colombia. This collab is again a hit.

Rvfv ft. Lola Indigo – Trendy

Awesome song again from Lola Indigo! I love the cowboy vibes πŸ˜πŸ€ πŸ‘’ She dances and sings so well. I love all the dancers so much. The choreography is amazing.

Eva B – AmΓ©rica

Eva became third in OperaciΓ³n Triunfo this year. She has so much personality and charisma. I love the videoclip and this single of her fits her so well. I can’t wait for more amazing songs of her.

Jawsh 685 x Jason Derulo – Savage Love (Laxed – Siren Beat)

I always heard this song on the radio in Spain and immediately loved it. It’s so catchy and uplifting! 😍 It really makes me happy to listen to. It’s been a long time since I listened to Jason Derulo.

Miley Cyrus – Midnight sky

“I was born to run, I don’t belong to anyone, oh no
I don’t need to be loved by you

Miley is back with such a masterpiece! 😍 I really like the whole vibes of this song. I love her low voice. It sounds SO good!! I’m happy she is back with great music.

BLACKPINK ft. Selena Gomez – Ice cream

This is an amazing collaboration with the Kpop group BLACKPINK and Selena Gomez. I love ice cream 😍🍨. Hahah this song makes me want to eat one. I really like this song.

Lola Indigo ft. Danna Paola y Denise Rosental – SanterΓ­a

Wow this song and video is SO awesome! 😍 Three powerful women together πŸ”₯ This song relates to a religion that was developed in Cuba. The videoclip is amazing. The performance is so good!! This is a perfect song to dance on and also makes you feel empowered as a woman πŸ’ƒβ™€οΈ.

Amaia Romero – Cosas interesantes para decir

I’m so happy Amaia is back with some new music. It’s so good! πŸ’–. It’s a great pop song which makes you happy. I’m so happy she always stays authentic and real. Her voice is always so sweet which I love so much.

Amaia Romero – La victoria

These two songs were recorded directly in the studio. I really like this one too. The instruments are also amazing. I can’t wait to see her live one day with her band. She sings about people looking at her but not seeing her. She also sings about how not everyone tells the truth which is so relatable nowadays.

Nea ft. Felix Jaehn – Some say remix

I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH!!!! 😍😍 I heard it so much on the Spanish radio. The chorus can remind you of the song Blue da ba dee by Eiffel 65. It’s really such a relaxing song.

BTS – Dynamite

What a great new song of BTS! I can’t wait to see what they have in store with their new album. I’m sure there will be more amazing song in it like this one. BTS never fails in making amazing music. They are such cuties too. Thank you for making this world a better place to live in.

JoJo ft. Demi Lovato – Lonely hearts

I really miss some more music with Demi Lovato. I really liked this collab with JoJo. I really like when they sing together. It sounds very well. Maybe it’s not totally my style of music I would listen to but I like it.

Thank you all for reading and listening to these amazing list of songs. What are your favourite songs of Folklore? Which song do you like from my list? To which artist do you listen to often? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Feeling done with this world πŸ˜’πŸ’”

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Today I will write a not so happy blog post. I like to share about my favourites and music reviews but I love to just write anything what’s on my mind because then I’m writing from my heart to yours. It makes me feel a bit better to let my thoughts go and I also hope it will help others to feel less alone. We all struggle in life with things only not at the same time. I hope I won’t sound too depressive but I just really don’t feel okay lately. Everything feels heavy and too much. I’m always my authentically self on this blog so I will try to be honest about my feelings and thoughts. When Summer ends I always feel this way because I’m a Summer girl forever. I don’t like dark days and less sun light.

I don’t know why I feel this way lately. Maybe it’s the thought of having to go back to Holland in two weeks. I have been SO happy here in Spain. I have been eating tapas a lot, drinking delicious milkshakes and ice creams, went swimming, went on a trip to the beach with my mother and surfed after 4 years πŸ„πŸŒŠ which I will share soon with you all, went for walks and saw my friends here a lot. I really have been enjoying life so much.

A few nights ago I cried about thinking having to go back to The Netherlands πŸ˜­πŸ’”. I don’t want. I’m just SO done with leaving my happy place. I love The Netherlands too. I love to see my friends and family there too of course. I’m just SO much happier in Spain. Just writing this makes me cry so much again. I just want to live here forever. I also experience anxiety here but at the end my heart longs for Spain. I’m also anxious that we won’t be able to go again for a long time because of the pandemic. I applied for jobs without any luck. If there’s one thing I know for sure is that I want to live in Spain permenantly.

I also feel anxious and depressed again to go to the dentist. I’m happy it went again well. In this blog post I talk about my experience of my second wisdom tooth removal. I still have to go twice but I’m more anxious for the lower wisdom teeth because they are in my gum. I don’t know whether to do it here now or in a few months. I’m really dreading it. I love this dentist but that doesn’t mean I’m not anxious to go anymore. Still feeling anxious and not okay. It’s still no fun. It isn’t a trauma and didn’t hurt that much afterwards. The only thing is that with the lower wisdom teeth extraction it will hurt a bit more. He said one or two points more, nothing like a brave women like you won’t be able to tolerate. It was really sweet what he said but I feel like I don’t want to be brave anymore.

I feel depressed lately and anxious 😞. I don’t know how to live life without feeling constantly anxious about something whether that’s going to the dentist, flying, going to an interview or anything else. I feel like I have no purpose and will never achieve my dreams because of anxiety. Then a friend of me said that it would be good to go to therapy. Well, I had some talks in the past and had to vomit every time and felt even more depressed and worse afterwards. I don’t want to go through that again. I also don’t like people giving me advice because like Yoga Girl said, we know ourselves the best. I love to get tips and recommendations but at the end this is my life. I just hate when people tell me what to do even though some will mean it well. I’m a helper and I have pleases way too many people in my life who didn’t deserve it. It’s my turn now to choose what’s right for me even though I sometimes don’t have any clue and feel lost as hell in life.

Everything what’s happening in this world right now also makes me feel totally not okay. I deactivated FB and my personal Instagram. Sometimes I think of deleting it all but that’s maybe too much I will just take a break. I’m done with seeing happy perfect pictures and fake lives. Inspiring people is what makes me happy and following others who inspire me too such as Yoga Girl, artists and other people. Social media often gived such as a false view of life. What you see isn’t real. I think that makes us all feel even worse especially when we are dealing with mental health illnesses such as anxiety, depression, bipolar, eating disorder or any other. To see people living their life best while you are not feeling okay will not help you. I giess it’s important to have a social media detox. I feel different while blogging because I’m just completely myself without feeling I will be judged. Blogging is my safe space and will always be πŸ™πŸ’–.

Everything feels too heavy for me lately. I decided to stop watching news or anything triggering my mental health too. It’s not being egoistic but I really can’t deal with any negative news happening in this world anymore. It’s too much for my highly sensitive brain. I can’t take it anymore. I think for the people who are already sensitive for negativity and also are struggling in life, this pandemic hit really hard. I remember when it all began in March and I was just lying in bed thinking about the world ending. I still sometimes think of this question: How can I cope in this world when I don’t see any light in the tunnel? When is this going to end? My anxiety goes to the roof when I don’t know the end point of something. I know that when I go to the dentist half hour later I feel okay again. With this it’s different. No one knows when this pandemic will end and if it will end one day. It makes it definitely more scary which makes me feel even more anxious.

I’m happy I live a more normal life here in Spain. For many months I was at home and only going on a few walks. I have been doing loads of fun stuff here but always doing social distance, wearing a mask which I hate because it gets so warm, and washing my hands a lot. I just feel that even though we have the internet, it makes us feel more isolated and lonelier too. Yes, video calls and chatting is nice but it will NEVER replace real human connection. Seeing each other face to face and hugging each other is the most valuable things ever in life. Having a vulnerable conversation with someone we love, crying on someone’s their shoulder, helping a stranger, giving someone a hug will never be the same online. The online world will never give you the same feelings. Seeing everyone being afraid of each other and not wanting to be near to them breaks my heart even more. Really?! What has the world become? I know they are many things to be grateful for like being more present, slowing down and spending time in nature. It’s just really hard sometimes.

This was basically my rant of how I feel in life regarding to the pandemic, this world and just my feelings. I hope we all have a safe space to be able to talk about our feelings without being judged. I’m here for you all and hope you are all being safe πŸ™πŸ’–.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. How are you all doing? What are some tips you have for me for coping with anxiety with everything what’s happening in this world? Do you also feel better when doing a social detox? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

July favourites πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸŒŠ

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I’m really behind some blog posts like my favourites and music reviews which I do every month. I don’t want to feel like blogging is chore because otherwise it ain’t no fun anymore. It just makes me frustrated at times. I still want to keep this series going but not if I get frustrated of not writing it one month. It doesn’t matter right?! It’s okay to write it whenever I feel the passion for it. Let’s move on to my favourites of July. It was a beautiful month πŸ’•. It seems SO long time ago when it’s just two months ago. I experienced beautiful things such as finally going to Spain, beach days in The Netherlands, had a lunch date with my bestie, bought a beautiful bikini from the surf brand Billabong and more I will share below.

Things I did with my lovely family πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘¦:

Celebrating the birthday of my brother and niece πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‚πŸŽˆ

Finally after more than a half year I saw my brother and niece πŸ˜πŸŽ‰. We hadn’t seen them since Christmas time. They live in the South of The Netherlands. It’s almost two hours by car. Due to the pandemic we haven’t seen them which made me feel so sad. Of course we used video call a lot but it’s not the same. My brother’s birthday was on the 14th of July and my niece turned 5 years on the 16th of July. I bought my niece a snow ball to colour in the pages and some glitter stickers which she loves a lot (and me too!! haha!!). I bought my brother some stuff for the kitchen which he needed and Happy Socks 🧦 which he loves a lot. He was very happy with the presents. I missed them so much.

I wish my niece could stay always that little. She’s a lovely princess πŸ‘Έ. Sometimes I wish to be that little again because you see the world with different eyes. I loved how she whispered in my ears if we could go to my room and play. My room is a fair for her 🎑. It’s full of stuff and colours and cute items. Noanne also said that I’m so sweet. My heart melts with her sweet words. She said she would find shells on the beach and think of me. She learns me how to love myself on the moments when I feel I can’t love myself. I love to hear her talking about the universe, the sun 🌞, the moon 🌜, the stars ✨, dinosaurs and everything. They say you learn the most of children which is so true. Their beliefs aren’t shaped. The world is their playground. I truly believe and feel with all that’s happening in the world, we have to go back and find our inner child and play. I don’t mean ignoring the pain and suffering in the world. I just think it’s important to have a balance with that and to always be reminded that there’s still a child in us who would love to be free, wild and making their biggest dreams come true. We need to care about our inner child always. Love yourself just like a child does.

Travelling to Spain ✈️πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ

I’m SO happy to be back in Spain after 7 months. I’ve missed it so much. I’m happy to see my friends again. You can read about my trip with my mother HERE. I never want to go back to The Netherlands. I love Spain so much and really can’t wait to find work here and live here forever 😍. I love the people, the food, the sunshine every day and it’s such a beautiful country where you can enjoy mountains, beaches, desserts, forest and just anything. I was anxious to travel but everything went well. I hope that we can keep coming back because I don’t want again to wait so long to go back to Spain. I was also happy to see my friends from my studies at the station of Madrid. It was such a coincidence. I hope to see you guys soon.

Beach days in The Netherlands 🌊🌞

I finally went to the beach after almost one year. My heart was craving it so much. I missed my happy home, my paradise πŸ’ž. The sea heals everything. I’m forever a mermaid πŸ§œβ€β™€οΈ. One day I will live at the ocean and will never have to leave again. We went biking for 18 km. We ate delicious kibbeling, potatoes, salad and a swirl ice cream. It was delicious. Fortunately, it was only raining a bit and we could enjoy the sunshine. Pura vida! We also saw bambi in the dunes. So cute! So blessed with this beautiful world we live in. It’s the little things which mean the most in life. I loved seeing my dear friend from primary school and from my choir at the beach. I missed you so much! It’s been years since we saw each other. I hope to see each other soon again.

Golden hour at the beach πŸŒ…

I’m happy we finally went swimming in the sea. That day we ate a delicious salad at a beach restaurant. We enjoyed a beautiful sunset on the beach. It’s one of those beautiful moments you wish that last forever. So magical and pure πŸ₯°. My wild heart is full of freedom, love and happiness on the beach. The bad thing was that we biked 🚲 for 30 km long haha . On the way back home the bridge was broken so we had to go through whole Haarlem to go back home. Our home is surrounded by water so we really needed to through another bridge to come home lol. It was a beautiful and unforgettable day.

Enjoying ice creams πŸ¨πŸ˜‹

I enjoyed some delicious ice creams with my mother. I love the Italian ice creams near to where my brother lives. We always go by bike. I had one with mint chocolate chip ice cream and straciatella. My mother had one with lemon and whipped cream. It was all so delicious!

Watched The Beauty and the Beast, Grease and Up for love 🎬

I watched some nice movies with my mother. I loved The Beauty and the Beast so much. One of my favourite actresses is Emma Watson. She is the best! I cried watching this beautiful movie. I loved it so much. I also loved watching Grease on a Summer night in Holland. Grease is just such a feel good movie and perfect for the Summer. I love the songs so much. They make me SO happy. I watched with my parents Up for love too which is a movie about a man who is very little and falls in love with a woman. They make jokes about him because of his length. It’s a great movie which let us see that everyone deserve the right to live a good life and that people have to be more kind to each other and not judge anyone.

Things I did with my lovely friends πŸ’•:

Lunch date with my bestie along the river in Haarlem πŸ’ž

I had such a great day with my bestie in Haarlem. We basically ate and drank all day long hahaha. That’s why we are best friends 😍🍴. We had a delicious lunch at Ted’s place. We loved it so much. My bestie ate a portobello sandwich with hummus and spinach and I had a delicious vegan French toast with fruits, almond milk, cinnamon sugar and maple syrup. I also loved the fruit smoothie so much with acai, strawberry, blueberry, blackberry, banana and more. It was such a aesthetic place to eat. The sun was shining too which was perfect. I’m also happy I finally bought some Summer clothes. As dinner we ate at Freakin Vegan. We loved the burger, wrap and green tea. We ate the whole day vegan and I LOVED IT. I can’t wait to eat more vegan food because it’s better for the environment, good for your health and it’s delicious too πŸ˜‹.

Beautiful pen pal letters πŸ’Œ

I got some beautiful letters this month. I got one from Rosie which I loved so much. I loved the goodies too. I loved the quote card. I got a new pen pal friend too. I loved the post from Katherine. I also loved the mail from my lovely friend Chloe. The handmade card from sunshines is so cute and makes me SO happy!! I also love the moon card and the stickers. Thank you for being one of my best friends. I love you all so much.

Sharing circle with Yoga Girl πŸ’–βœ¨

I loved the first sharing circle I joined on Zoom. I was anxious to do it. It was the best thing ever. It’s so special and so sacred. Thank you Rachel and the whole Yoga Girl team for making this happen. I love this community so much. Together with more than 60 people we entered a safe space to share our feelings, thoughts and we hold space for each other. We listened and did meditation all together. It was SO pure, honest and beautiful I cried. Then we met our partner and talked about our struggles with them. One has to speak and the other has to stay silent. You think that’s easy but it isn’t. We are so tend to intreput each other and give each other advice. Rachel said we have the answers in our own heart. We always seek advice from others but we know ourselves the best. We have to listen more in life instead of talking. We need our hearts to hold space for us. I loved my sharing partner from Germany. It was an amazing talk. Thank you so much! I can’t wait to go to a yoga retreat in Aruba πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ό too. We are all walking each other home. Love you all! πŸ’–

Other amazing things of July πŸ’–:

New bikini from Billabong πŸ‘™

I finally got a new bikini!!! I really needed one because the ones I have are too big now. I think it’s because of washing them. I bought one online and thank God it fit perfectly. I love all the surf brands πŸ„β€β™€οΈ. Billabong is one of my favourites. I love the new bikini which is green, black together with sunflowers on it. I’m using it a lot this Summer. It costed €40 instead of €70 so big sale. I bought it on Zalando. I love this website.

New dresses and floral shorts πŸ‘—

I bought some nice clothes the day I went on a lunch with my bestie in H&M. I bought some nice floral shorts and a red dress. I didn’t had any Summer clothes in The Netherlands so I really needed to have some haha. I also bought a beautiful blue floral dress from Shein. I’m happy with my new clothes.

Virtual concert of Operación Triunfo 🎢

I saw a virtual concert of the Spanish talent show OperaciΓ³n Triunfo. It was from Madrid, WiZink Center. I loved it so much. I was also a virtual public there. They could see us from the stage. I danced a lot, sang and had lots of fun πŸ’ƒπŸŽ€. Of course, I miss going to concerts. I really can’t wait to go to a concert again because it has been more than a year since I last went to one. There’s nothing more precious than being in a concert and seeing your favourite artist live. It gives me so much happiness and makes me feel so alive!!

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you liked it. Do you like my new bikini and new clothes? Do you like to eat vegan food? What did you do in July? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina