I wish the political crisis in Spain is over soon… my heart hurts πŸ’”πŸ˜’

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

Catalonia is a region of Spain and wants to be indepented. Last Sunday there was a illegal referendum in Catalonia. The governement of Catalonia will declare that Catalonia will be indepented from Spain on monday. Most Spanish people are against it. Even people living in Catalonia are against it. There is a minority. I really hope this situation will be solved by the Spanish governement soon.

Hopefully, the leaders of Catalonia will be in jail soon. They are responsible for dividing the Spanish people and creating hate in our society. I’m so done with it. I just feel the need to write because my heart hurts πŸ˜’πŸ’”. 

Spain is its culture. Spain are the beautiful cities. Spain are the churches. Spain is its beautiful nature. Spain are the regions. Spain are the painters, writers and the singers. Spain are the citizens. Spain are the villages. Spain are the tapas and the fiesta. Spain is the goodness of the people. Spain is the king, police and military.

Spain is everything to me… πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’• 

What is happening right now in Spain is breaking my heart. The independism of Catalonia is not going to be good for anybody. My heart is breaking when I see the hate which is creating to anyone who wear a Spanish flag. They call these people fascists. They don’t understand what the difference is between patriotism and nacionalism. To be a patriotist is being proud, being a nacionalist is thinking that your village is better than the other one. There’s a great difference between being proud & thinking you are better than others. 

I’m really proud to be half Spanish and half Dutch. I’ve grown up in two amazing and beautiful countries. In two democratic countries. I also feel a global citizen. We all belong to this world. It’s much better to be all united to beat wars and terrorism.

The hate between people only cause wars. Violence and hate is not the answer. I believe in a united Spain. A Spain which is based on democracy. I believe that the Spanish government is going to solve this problem soon. At the end, we all want the same that’s living in freedom and peace. 

I love Spain and want a united Spain! πŸ’•

Much love,

xoxo

I just want a united Spain πŸŒπŸ’•

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

I just want to write something which is happening now in Spain. To make sure, I don’t want to talk that much of politics on my blog. I don’t want to spread hate. Today, I just feel the need to write because I’m feeling bad these days. This subject is just touching me really hard.

Spain is a constitutional monarchy. Spain has many autonomous regions such as Basque Country and Catolonia. They have their own language and government. Catolonia wants to be indepented from Spain. Today on the first of October they wanted to do a referendum but this was against the law. However, they did it but it was a illegal referendum. The police men were acting just the way they have to act.

So, today I woke up crying and so fucking anxious. I felt that my heart was beating so fast…. What’s happening is Spain today is fucked up 😒 I’m really scared. This isn’t good for my anxiety…. Hopefully I will feel okay soon. So many people and police men were injuried. I just hope thay both parties are going to talk and that there comes a solution.

So, as you know I’m half Spanish, half Dutch. I grew up in this two countries. To be honest, I have always felt more Spanish than Dutch. I was born in The Netherlands. When there were football matches for world cup or europe cup I remember that people were angry and bullying me for not supporting the dutch team. I felt scared and discriminated. Since then I never posted on social media that I am for the spanish team. Now, I don’t fucking care anymore.

I feel more spanish than dutch, because that’s just the way I feel. Nobody can judge me on that. All the time I had to go back to the Netherlands from holidays in Spain I cried so much. I always wanted lo live in Spain. Some people say to me well there’s a economic crisis blablabla you can’t find work. You know what I say to them now?

I’m 24 years old, I’m not a fucking baby anymore. One of my dreams is to work in Spain and live here. I already lived in Spain for a half year during my exhange and this last half year for my internship. I’m deeply in love with Spain. I’m going to find work in Spain and nobody is going against my dream πŸ’œπŸ’«βœŒ Even though I feel more spanish than dutch, I also feel that I’m a global citizen. 

I don’t know if I should stop watching the depressive news today. It ain’t no good for my mental health. I feel so sensitive today. I always am so sensitive. Maybe I care too much about politics?! I used to not care at all. Since I have spoken at the UN I feel the need to express myself. I used to be afraid of saying my opinion. Now, I don’t. We can’t be silence when something happens in your country. We have to speak up and demonstrate and fight for our human rights.

This subject thouched me hard because I know the history of Spain with the dictator Franco. We don’t wanna go back, do we?! In these hard times countries have to be united in order to beat terrorism and war. We all have the right to feel safe without discrimination.

I just really hope everything will be okay again in Spain. Both political parties need to talk. I really hope they come to a solution. They aren’t acting like adults now. They have to come to a solution to have Spain united. Democracy and no discrimination!

Spain developed in 40 years so much and I’m thankful for all of that. I love Spain and I hope that it will stay one country πŸ’œ

Freedom, equality and brotherhood ✌

Much love,

xoxo

The most beautiful people in life are the ones who have been through the worst πŸ’«πŸ’­

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I love this quote so much πŸ’• This is definitely one of my favourite quotes πŸ’«  I want to share some thoughts and feelings I have about this beautiful quote. Yoga girl (International yoga teacher based in Aruba, will share a blog post about her soon) just shared a post on Instagram about hard times in life where you feel like giving up and griefing in life. I can relate to this so well.

I have met many people in life. I came to the conclusion that the most beautiful people are the ones who have been through the worst. Those people know what loss, hard times, trauma, mental health issues, heartbreaks are or whatever they are going through. 

It’s the people who have suffer the most who come back stronger than ever before. I learned a lot when my father almost died when I was 11 years old. He had acute pancreatis and was sick for five years. He had to go through 6 surgeries. I can’t remember much of it. The things I remember were the fact that I was just hiding my feelings. I almost never cried. I was angry but on the outside I was smiling. It’s in my late teens and twenties that I’m crying when I think back of how much it hurt me.

I guess that’s why I’m always so afraid to loose people. Whenever my brother calls me I’m afraid something is wrong with my daddy because it happened a few times. I need to let go of this fear. It’s just that feeling of loosing someone that scares me so much. I just have to feel my feelings and let them go. All will be okay.

It’s those people who have been trough the worst that have a sense of sensitivity, appreciation and understanding in life. They have been through the worst but connect with life in a way other people can’t. They know what it’s to loose people, to want to give up on life, feeling sad but still move forward every day and always treat people with kindness ans respect. 

I love those people and I will never let them go πŸ’•πŸ’« Thank you for being in my life 😘

Much love,

xoxo

Do you think it’s possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return? πŸ’•

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

This blog post is coming right from my heart. Something that I can relate to in all the ways. I’m a highly sensitive person. Highly sensitive persons have nervous systems that are more sensitive than others and they process things more deeply. In other words, they feel more and love more. In another blog post I will explain more about being a highly sensitive person.

I have always been a giver. I give, give and give. I have always been the one that pleased people. I have always been the one that loves more and deeply. I have always wanted to make sure everybody was happy. I never thought of myself. It was always them, never about me.

This can be a good thing but when you give too much and receive too little it can be a real problem in your life. If you only give and you aren’t receiving as much back you can really feel out of energy and tired.

I stayed friends with people who made abuse of this situation. I found it hard to let friends go because you have a history with them. Now if I look back, I think by myself were that really my friends? Friends wouldn’t gossip about you, say rude comments and bully you.

I had a two year long distance relationship from 17 till 19 years old. He was from Switzerland and I was living in The Netherlands by that time. We were both young and crazy in love. Even in that relationship I felt like I loved him more than he loved me. I always felt like he had to say to me a million times “I love you” to make sure that he loved me. It’s my anxiety that made me feel like I was just never good enough. I was afraid to loose him. I have been bullied during my high school a lot and I think that was also the reason why I needed a constant afirmation that he loved me and that I was good enough for him. He broke up with me after two years. Life separated our ways. It wasn’t meant to be. I was lost for almost 4 years. I missed him like crazy, my first love…. It’s now when I feel more like myself again.

I love this beautiful quote from R.M. Drake. This is a beautiful writer on Instagram and has also written some amazing books. Go check him out! πŸ’• Why do I love people so much and

give them the best of me when I know they don’t derseve it at all? Why do I do this all the time? Really WHY? I think it’s because I always want everybody to be happy. I always think the best of people and care way too much. I always believe in the good of people. It’s just the way I’m.

 

Until today I still keep thinking of this beautiful quote which I found on Tumblr:

If I may answer this question, I would say definitely YESSSS! I am a highly sensitive person and that’s also the reason why I love and feel more. I really believe that there are people out in the world who give more love than they will ever receive back.

I used to believe it’s a curse to feel so much and love so hard but I began to realize it’s a blessing. I realized that it’s okay to love hard and feel everything so deeply. It’s a strength. We need more healers, dreamers and people who care about people in this sometimes dark world.

In order to be more in sync with my feelings I have to do these things:

  • I have to set boundaries with people
  • I have to let the past go (I’m doing much better than before)
  • I have to be surrounded only by people who really care about me such as my real friends and family
  • I have to say more NO
  • I have to love myself first before I fall in love again
  • I should stop pleasing people
  • I should make myself a priority before anybody else

I am in the process of all of these points. I am loving myself much more than when my first love broke up with me. I broke some friendships because those weren’t my friends. I say more no to things. However, I still have to do it all even more.

I am happy to love so much because that makes me feel alive. This is the way I’m and I’m not going to change that. I just have to make sure which people are the right people to love. We need people who love hard in this world.

A world without people that love so much as I do is a dark world without flowers… 

Much love,

xoxo

We have to feel the pain in order to move on in lifeΒ 

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

​I once made this quote and wrote it in my journal πŸ’­βœ’. I mean it’s just so true. 

We can feel an intense pain during hard times such as a when we get our heart broken or suffer from a loss of a loved one. We feel as if we can’t survive so much pain. Sometimes we try do ignore this pain because we think that if we have to feel this pain it will be just too much to handle. There will be too much tears. So, we try to escape. We try to escape in alcohol, bad relationships, social media, just anything to not feel this pain. We try to be numb instead of feeling our emotions.

This isn’t the way to heal yourself. You have to feel the pain in order to heal yourself from the unbelievable pain you are escaping from. It sounds strange but it really is the only way to feel better. If you are angry, be angry. If you feel the need to cry, cry as much as you want. If you feel alone, talk with a loved one about your feelings.

Within time, this pain will slowly fade away. Trust me, you will be okay again. It just take time. I experienced a really awful heartbreak. The person who loved me for two years left me heartbroken. I couldn’t think that the person who said he would never leave me wouldn’t keep his promise. I tried to escape in dating other boys, getting used, having more anxiety, feeling even worse about myself and drinking the pain away. This never worked out well for me… πŸ’” I wish I knew it before I did all of this. 

However, I learned from it. I stopped escaping from the pain and I let myself cry whenever I want to escape from the pain. I tried to do things which made me happy like reading, writing, blogging and travelling. I also talked with good friends and family about my feelings. All this made me feel so much happier than before πŸ’«πŸ™

So, please don’t escape from your pain. Feel the pain in order to move in life. The pain will not last forever. You will be okay my lovelies πŸ’•

Much love,

xoxo

I will never hurt people the way they hurt me

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

I saw this beautiful quote/thought on Instagram and just have to share a little story why I can relate to it so much πŸ’•πŸ’«πŸ’­ 

During my childhood people have bullied me a lot. Even people who I considered my friend have hurt me a lot. I never had a fight with anybody in my life but words hurt too. Words can chase you your whole life. If you had someone in your life that tells you every day that you are ugly and not worth it, sooner or later you gonna believe in it and feel horrible. 

I’m glad I don’t have to go back to highschool anymore because it was the worst time of my life. I had so many people saying mean stuff to me and hurting me that at one point I just didn’t like to go school anymore. This also increased my anxiety and the feeling of just never feeling good enough. That feeling of being worthless no matter what you do. That’s just the worst.

I won’t say about myself that I am always kind and good to people. There are times where I also did bad things to friends and they did to me. We all make mistakes. We are human. We learn from it and grow. 

However, I never hurt people so hard as they hurt me. I would never call somebody ugly or say that they are worthless. I would never make fun of somebody who is sick. I will treat everybody with respect, kindness and love πŸ’•

I’m a highly sensitive person and get easily upset when somebody hurt me. It’s just as this quote says I would never hurt somebody the way they hurt me. I believe in the good people in the world. If anybody is experiencing that someone is hurting them in their life, I would encourage you to leave this person. A friend would never hurt you. Make real friends who lift you up and who will always be there for you πŸ’• I’m so glad I did and met the most wonderful people in my life. I love you all! πŸ’œπŸ‘

Much love,

xoxo

Real friends are the ones who prove it to you πŸ’•πŸ‘

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

This is just so true πŸ’•πŸ‘Œ Love this quote πŸ’­ I will share some thoughts I have of friendships.

Some people only are around to have a good time with you. When you feel bad they aren’t around. Can you consider that a friend? Hell no. 

Real friends are the ones who lift you up, who are there in good and bad times. Real friends will always support you. Real friends will help you to make your dreams in life come true πŸ’«

A friend can say I’m here for you and when you are feeling bad not helping you or not showing around. That’s not what a real friend will do. Words are nothing without action.

I’m just so happy I walked away from some toxic friendships. People who said they are your friends and then talk about your back are not your friends. A friend will never say mean things about you. So my advice is to stay away from toxic friendships/relationships. They aren’t good for you and your mental health.

I’m just so happy with the real friends in my life πŸ’•πŸ‘Œ Especially with having anxiety I find sooo much support by being surrounded by real friends who care about me and my mental health. It’s better to have a few real friends than a million of fake friends.

Much love,

xoxo

We’ll always remember 9/11 πŸ™

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Today is an important day to remember all the victims of the 9/11 attack in New York City. Let’s never forget this awful day.

Two years ago I went to NYC and went to this place. It is a beautiful place to think about what happened and reflect and hope that something like this will never ever happen again in this world we live in.

After I did my speech in the United Nations I felt really that I’m responsible for our planet. We all contribute to our planet. We can change this world. We want a peaceful world and we can change the world if we think about little things. I hope we all gonna make it and strive to a better world, because everybody deserve it.

I know there is a lot of bad news going around nowadays but I still believe the world is not so bad as we think. The world is good if only you change the view you look to it ✌ Little actions make people happy and happiness is contagious so go out and spread some love πŸ’•

Love is the strongest emotions of a human being and with love so many things can be solved. Hug a stranger, help somebody in need, smile at a stranger, say I love you to the people you love, because everything can be gone just in one day. Don’t leave important things unsaid and help each other.

Rest in peace for all victims and beloved families and friends who are still suffering from a loss. God bless you πŸ™ You will never be forgotten.

Much love,

xoxo

To be vulnerable will set you free in life πŸ’•πŸ’«

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I will share with you a little story about this inspiring quote. I hope you will like it 😘

It’s hard to be vulnerable in a fake world, isn’t it? We all share our best pictures on social media to make us look like we live the perfect life, to make us look like we have no problems in life and to just create the feeling that we are always happy when we in fact aren’t.

None of this is true. We don’t have a perfect life. There will be always hard times and obstacles in life we have to face. Everybody experience bad emotions and problems; from a loss of a loved one, ending relationships, to mental health issues or money/job related problems. We all have them but we just are afraid to share all those things.

Since I shared my feelings, my experiences in life and that I suffer from anxiety in life I feel not fake anymore. I think that in hard times you can connect with people and build a community.

Like now, there are so many nature disasters happening around the world. It is in those hard times that we find the right people to connect with and to build bridges with. I pray for all those people in need πŸ™ .

You don’t have to face a problem on your own. Share it with a friend, a familiar, a doctor, just anybody who make you feel safe. Being vulnerable can be terrifying. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable. Trust me, I have been there. However, I have learned that being a highly sensitive person is a blessing. Being vulnerable and pouring your heart out can set you free πŸ’« .

We need more people on this earth who are willing to be vulnerable and share their feelings and thoughts. We can help those people in need and connect with them. In this way, we can make this world a better place; a place where honesty and authenticity exists, a place where fake no longer exists πŸŒπŸ’•

Much love,

xoxo

You can’t figure your life out all in once

Hey all πŸ’•,

This is really one of the best quotes which I can relate to so well πŸ‘

I’m just 24 years old and it seems like we have to rush in life. I’m just graduated. I still don’t have my degree. That takes time. I’m just so done with some people asking me what I wanna do after graduate, what kind of job I want, when do I move out, if I have a boyfriend and the list goes on and on (if you have one you get the question, when are you going to have babies/when are you going to marry). Just fucking stop this shit talk.

Many young people in life are stressed out, suffer from a mental illness or just don’t feel good. Asking all those questions makes anxiety worse. Just stop it.

I think nobody can figure out life in once. Every day is a new day. Every day we are learning something. We are always growing. We will never stop learning. Nobody has life figured out.

When people ask all these questions all the time I feel like life is a list of things you have to do like a grocery list. Hell no. Life is a mistery. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow. We should stop stressing about having our lives figured out. Whatever will be, will be πŸ’«πŸ™

Just have faith, work towards your dreams and be surround about good people who don’t stress you out but instead lift you up. Be surrounded by people who light your world up πŸ’« You will be okay my lovelies πŸ’•

Much love,

xoxo