Holaaa from Spain after 7 months not being able to travel! πŸ˜πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸŒŠπŸŒžπŸŒ΄πŸŒ»

Hola lovelies πŸ₯°,

I’m finally back in Spain since last Tuesday. I CRY BECAUSE I MISSED IT SOOOO MUCH 😍πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯°. Just writing this makes me cry again and gets me so emotional. I’m behind some other posts but I think I’m not going to write them anymore. I have been feel a bit stressed about my blog lately like I have to blog about this, not miss this and it’s not good. I’m always a perfectionist so when I finally do something after procastinating then I want to do it good. I prefer quality blog posts then just posts for the sake of it. This blog post will be about my journey to Spain, how I feel, things I have on my mind and how things are right now due to this pandemic. I really missed having a good chat with you guys. This post is basically going to be a rant haha πŸ˜‚. I hope you will like it.

I can’t believe we are already in August like wtf this year is the longest and the shortest ever 😳. How do you feel about it? So much has happened in the world these months because of the pandemic. I really imagine myself cheering the new year last year and we all didn’t know what was about to come. It makes me feel bittersweet though. I don’t know how to feel about a new year coming because I don’t know what we have to except. The best thing is having no expectations and just going with the flow. I read a beautiful quote a few days ago which said that so much can happen in 6 months which is true. So, I hope these last 5 months will turn out fine or better than these last months.

In my life, not that much has happened. I still have no job but right now it’s even more difficult to find one related to what I studied. I studied European Studies which is a broad study with a wide range of subjects such as marketing, languages, international relations and politics. I also really find myself thinking of how I would love to make a living out of writing. I crave it so badly. I also love doing yoga, reading, travelling, singing and surfing so much. I’ve also sometimes dreamt about how amazing it would be to build a surf school related to mental health problems to provide people help and support while enjoying the ocean. I can’t wait to maybe go to the beach and surf this Summer in Spain πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸŒŠπŸ„β€β™€οΈ. I miss the sea so much. Maybe those dreams are wild but it would be so amazing. I still feel kinda stuck related to thinking about a career. I used to apply to some jobs in Spain but got no answer. I even did an interview for a internship and never heard back. It’s more difficult right now. I also got information to take an exam for a job in the public sector which is mandatory in Spain. I just don’t know and still feel lost after so many years. It’s normal I say to myself. Anxiety also gets in the way. Some people see it as excuse but they have no idea how hard it’s to live with it and being expected to do everyday stuff.

I also entered some writing competitions. I didn’t won the one from Barcelona. At least I tried. Besides, Barcelona is now more at risk so it’s better not to go. I will hear about the poetry contest about mental health next month. I will also maybe join another contest these days which is about my city Haarlem, in The Netherlands. They are looking for a city poet who will write for them and also earn €3000 euro each year and will even have the opportunity to publish a book about poems of Haarlem. I will join and we will see what happens next. I have already a no but you never know what may be the result.

Thanks to the pandemic which is also strange to I’m also grounding myself more and being present with all the things I have. I have been doing yoga and medititation many times in a week πŸ§˜β€β™€οΈβœ¨. It’s so good. I feel more lost and less calm when I don’t do it. It’s been a such a healing tool and I will stick to it forever. I can’t wait to be able to have a job, save money and go to a yoga retreat in Aruba and finally meet Yoga Girl and the whole community. I love it so much. I don’t have a yoga mat here in Spain but I will use maybe a camping mat until I have one here. I crave connection so much. It’s the best. It reminds me I’m never alone and that I always have people behind me. I did a sharing circle on Zoom with Yoga Girl and more than 60 people joined a few days ago which I will share more about in my July favourites. It was so special and omg I also felt anxious and strange. I had never done it before. In real life it would be even more intense. We did a meditation and then we got a sharing partner. We had to talk about our struggles and the other person listened and didn’t give advice. It’s much more powerful then just always interrumpting a person. Rachel Brathen (Yoga Girl) said that we have our answers in our heart. These sharings are so much more powerful than anything else πŸ’–. I got emotional when I listened and my partner too. I can’t wait to do it many more times.

I’m happy to be back in Spain but also feel mixed feelings. Nothing is normal anymore. Our trip went very well. I was so happy to go but never felt so anxious before a trip. I really didn’t like some of my family members and also a friend of my mother saying we are irresponsible to go to Spain when we are very careful. I couldn’t sleep the night before. I felt so unwell and anxious. I hate to get influenced but others because our trip went super well. We had to wear masks, do social distance and wash our hands often. Nothing new. I’m more used now to wearing a face mask almost all the time because it’s mandatory here in Spain 😷. In Holland it’s only mandatory in public transport and in a regio of Amsterdam and Rotterdam. I changed my mind and think it’s very important to wear it even though it’s a struggle in the heat. We passed the security in 15 min. We drank some tea and ate a croissant and went to the gate. Boarding was nice, the flight was great without any turbulence. There were almost no people. I watched High School Musical 🎢. I loved it. I had never watched it before.

When we landed in the airport of Madrid, they checked our QR-code which is the health paper you have to fill in before you go to Spain. Then you pass a control and there are camera’s above which check your temperature. There are also nurses there in case you are feeling bad. Everything is clean and well organised. We got our suitcases, took a taxi to the station of Madrid and there suddenly I saw my good friend Pedro and his girlfriend. I love to always meet people as a surprise. We ate delicious Spanish food with them and waited for the train. It takes one hour to go to Valladolid by the high speed train. Then we took a taxi home and in the afternoon we were safe and sound at home. I thought something would happen during the trip or I would feel more anxious. I felt more calm because everything went well. I don’t want to listen to scary stories anymore or watch too much news. We are safe and will do anything to stay safe. We can’t stay forever in our homes too.

These days I have been resting in Spain in our home, eating some delicicous tapas and just walking in nature. We also went already to the swimming pool which we love so much πŸŠβ€β™€οΈπŸŒž. I have to enjoy it now before I get my period which I hate even more in Summer. There’s no beach here so the pool is the best place to be. I’m just so much more happier here. It’s been so hot here, like 37 degrees. Right now, it’s 30 degrees. I love Summers in Spain so much. I really craved it. This week I will finally see my friends which I missed so much. I also saw a new restaurant with vegan food and poke bowls omggg can’t wait to try it. I will celebrate my birthday with my friends there πŸŽ‰πŸ€—. I also saw a new yoga studio. Maybe will go there too. I also will go the hairdresser soon. I can never cut much just the death ends and my bangs because I didn’t went for like a year. I also have to go to the dentist end of month to get rid again of one wisdom teeth 🦷. I’m anxious about that again but maybe a bit less than in January. I told about my experience here. It’s still a struggle so please guys be there for me and send me love. I need it. I just know I have no other choice because I have sometimes strange feelings and pain. I can’t wait to be able to say I faced this 4 times and it went well.

I’m really happy to be here but I also feel sadness in Spain. I see elderly walking and I get emotional thinking of how many people have died here and all over the world. In Spain people are so social and always together. The Netherlands has a individualistic culture. It’s so different. You see less people and people are afraid which is normal. Night life is different too. I don’t miss fiestas so much because what I need in life is more connection and deep talks rather than being drunk all the time. It’s been ages for me and I’m really happy to have gone a different way in drinking alcohol. I don’t need to drink much to have fun. The virus is still here and we have to be careful. They are putting some villages in Valladolid in lockdown again which just means that it isn’t over. I hope you all stay safe this Summer and have fun. We are all in this together πŸ’ͺπŸ™.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope it wasn’t too boring. I hope you all liked it. What are you up to during this Summer? How are you feeling? How is your physical and mental health? What do you think of what I wrote? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

We meet everyone for a reason βœ¨

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Good news! ☺️ I feel somehow much better than some weeks ago were I really didn’t see the light at all and felt hopeless in life. It sounds pretty depressing but feeling anxious 24/7, feeling like you can’t breath, being nauseous all the time is really a hell. I hate anxiety so much 😭. It strange that I feel better now here I’m here in Holland because I’m always happier in Spain. To be honest, I never felt so low, depressed and anxious in Spain. I think because I associate it with going to the dentist which I didn’t do. I know it wasn’t a good idea to isolate myself for more than a week at home. In this blog post I will tell you about someone special I met on the airplane ✈️ back to Holland from Spain. I will tell you also some other travel stories. Oh how I love travelling 🌍. It’s the best and on those moments I can distract myself from my anxiety and meet people who really will change my life. I have to document these moments here on my blog because I’m afraid that otherwise I won’t remember them anymore. They are too precious to forget about them. In the moments that I felt so bad I even thought about not blogging anymore for a time but then I thought that would be a loss because that’s what I love to do the most. I have to keep doing the things I love to do or I would feel worse. Everything which brings me positivity is important to do πŸ’«.

So before I talk about the flight of a week ago back to Holland I want to talk about the flight I took in September. I was in Spain πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ during the whole Summer and my mother and I got back to Holland in September. There was this guy sitting next to my mother in the other row who looked very friendly. He was around 36 years old. We had such good talks. He talked about how I could maybe find a job in Holland in a Dutch company and from there find a job in Spain. He said that I didn’t have to be insecure. He was Spanish and was working and living in The Netherlands. He gave me so much inspiration and so much good vibes, just what I needed in that moment. He told me that he was bullied too at school just like me. He told me that I’m a smart girl which can speak three languages: Spanish, English and Dutch and also graduated my studies. I know he is right about that. It’s just that I always feel so insecure and have a low self esteem. I guess that’s because of anxiety too. I never know what to do when people compliment me or say that I’m pretty. I got his FB but now never spoke again to him. I really liked talking to him with my mother.

Then I went again to Spain a few weeks ago with my mother. I was sitting next to a girl from Uruguay. I also have her Instagram now, haha I hope people don’t think I’m desperate to meet new people. This is just me being myself. My mother is also social as I’m. I’m not that girl who loves to isolate herself. It’s what my mental illness does to me. We talked a lot about the world, her country and my countries. We had such a nice talk. I always love to talk to people from different countries as we can learn so much from them.

So a week ago, we travelled back from Spain to Holland. I’ve never been that anxious to travel even though I’m always scared of flying. It’s just because I have felt so low all this time. I took valium many nights to sleep and also a bit for flying. I was just so afraid of having a panic attack and of course that didn’t happen. Most things we fear don’t happen, it’s just our minds which are playing tricks with us. Before we were at the airport we met a lovely woman at the train station. She talked about the political situation in Spain and said she is a journalist. She even gave her number to us and said that whenever we are in Madrid again we can drink something with her. Things like this always remind me of how many good people there are in this world ❀️🌍.

Later at the airport my mother saw a man who she knew from when she was working as a stewardess in a Spanish airline. He was working in the cafe we ordered a salad. What another beautiful coincidence was that I met my lovely Spanish teachers at the gate where I was waiting with my mother to fly to Holland. They came back in the same airplane and were just about to go to a conference. I didn’t see them anymore since I graduated my studies European Studies. I love them all so much πŸ’ž. I really miss that feeling of being a student in my life right now because I feel lost now in the big world. I told them something about being anxious and they told me that I’m a smart girl and that every little step is a step forward. I could also keep networking. I know finding a job in Spain is more difficult than in Holland as there’s more unemployment in Spain and for jobs in the public sector you need to pass a difficult exam which can take years. They still remembered how I spoke at the United Nations and did my internship at the University of Valladolid. We took a selfie and they would show it to another teacher which I also love so much.

Now comes the most important story I wanted to tell from the first place. I hope I didn’t ramble way too much haha πŸ˜‚. A week ago was the best flight I have ever had in my life because of someone special I met. You all know I’m a romantic and highly sensitive girl. I make up so many stories in my mind which is how I imagine the world to be, that rainbow coloured world where people are happy, flowers blossom and the sun is always shining πŸ˜πŸ’πŸŒžπŸŒˆ. That is the world which only exists in movies, books or in my mind. It’s pretty curious because maybe a week before I already dreamt of meeting a boy sitting next to me in the airplane. So I was already nervious thinking who is going to sit next to me at the window seat when a guy was going to sit next to me. We immediately begin to talk with no end. My mother also talked to him and find him very friendly and open.

It was one the most intense, beautiful, honest and inspiring talks I’ve ever had in my life ✨. I have had some really good talks in my life with people I love but with a stranger who you just met in the airplane not. This guy was so lovely, so cute and just so amazing 😍. Can you fall in love at first sight? πŸ’˜ I know I’m always so intense and have to be careful to not get my heart broken again but this connection we had in those few hours was so strong. We looked at each other many times. He listened carefully to what I had to say and me too. We talked about our lifes. He smiled a lot. We laughed a lot and made jokes. It’s in times that I haven’t felt such a strong connection with someone. He is an artist, 33 years old and works and study in the film industry 🎬. He has to travel a lot and goes to film events to present his documentaries. I find all of that so interesting. I love creative people with an open mind.

He loved my bracelets and touched them. We talked about our exes and everything. I’m always so open and sometimes that can be bad but I guess this day it was okay because he was also so open about everything, political view, his life and values. The way he looked at me made me nervous as I really felt such a strong attraction. It’s been so long that I didn’t have felt that. What I also loved about this guy is that he was honest and seemed sensitive. He also reminded me of a friend of me in Spain. He made me feel so calm and so peaceful. When I told him about how my ex wanted that I had to wear high heels because that would make me confident as he said, he said that it was wrong to change someone. He is so right because for me wearing high heels makes me feel unconfident.

Then we also talked about where he came from which is Basque country. I have my Spanish family living there too. We both had long distance relationships. Everything was such a coincidence and we seemed so similar as I’m also creative. He told me about that he also enjoyed surfing and swimming in the ocean. What I loved the most about our talk was when we began to talk about spirituality. I’m so in to that and not all my friends are. Since I’m reading the book “To love and let go” from Yoga Girl, I’m even more into that. I don’t think I believe in all things but I love astrology, the law of attraction and I believe the universe gives us what we want at the moment we need it πŸ™. He was talking about Ayahuasca ceremony. I don’t think I would ever try it as I think it would be dangerous for a person suffering from a mental illness. He told me I could do that but I didn’t told him all about my anxiety. It’s a kind of tea you drink where you go through a spiritual journey. You feel like you are going to die and then at the end you find the light again. I also read that in the book of Yoga Girl. It sounds very intense and it would make me so anxious to be honest.

This guy also told me that he did a tarrot reading. I always was very skeptical of it but somehow I feel like I could believe in it a bit. He told me he was an Emperor and that means that he likes to make feel people safe and make his dreams come true. I told him that once I was told to be a Mediator or helper and he said that fits me well. He is also an aquarius β™’ as zodiac sign and I’m geminis and I know that those zodiac signs are compatible. A friend of him also told him that he could get along well with geminis β™Š. I really like to believe in that.

I just felt so in the moment during this beautiful talk. I wish the flight would never have ended. I always get attached so much to people. I have his number and wrote him a message that it was nice to meet him and sent him some pictures we made. I really do hope we will meet each other again as he lives in Amsterdam until next Summer. He gave me a kiss on the cheek which is a normal Spanish way of greeting and also a hug. I never felt such a strong connection with someone. I do believe we meet all the people in life for a reason. They will teach us something. He texted me back a few days later and said he loved to have met me in the airplane too. He said seldom you find such honest and genuine people like me. He is thankful to have met me and also thanks me for the pictures I sent him. I also sent him a text back a few days later and told him the same. I also said that if he ever wants to meet up he can say that to me. The thing is, I also don’t want to be needy or obsessive as I can be really intense. I learned that from being in a relationship with my first love and other crushes. I do believe that whatever will be, will be. We don’t have to force anything. Anything which is meant to come into your life will come without forcing situations.

This universe is beautiful 🌌✨. This life is beautiful. I’m just so thankful for these special moments as they come in the moments I most need them. It’s like the universe is saying to me that my story isn’t over yet and that I can be happy and that good things will come my way. I really also know that I don’t have to get my hopes up but I just feel this fuzzy and warm feeling in my heart. I’m so thankful for everything. Thank you life for the hard and beautiful lessons. It reminds me that we are all here for a reason. I need to believe more in the universe and let it unfold itself. Stop controlling. Letting life flow. I just feel my heart full of gold right now 🌟.

“I believe in the good things coming πŸ’•”

Thank you all for reading this inspiring and long post. I felt very inspired to write this. What do you think of all of this? Do you believe we meet people for a reason? Are you a spiritual person? Do you believe in love at first sight? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Reflection on 2018 & happy new year to you all! πŸŽ‰βœ¨πŸ’•πŸ’«

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Happy new year to you all! βœ¨πŸŽ‰ In this post I will talk about my 2018 and will show you how I celebrated New Year’s Eve. I’m glad I don’t have a cold amymore but just tonight I got my period so yeah that also sucks 😭 I’m glad I take medication for the cramps because otherwise I wouldn’t survive it. Besides, I’m also being anxious about my appointment of getting one of my wisdom teeth pulled out this week. I keep postponing the appointment. I know I have to do it but I’m so scared. H e l p. I also don’t want to do it in Holland. Here in Spain it’s much cheaper and the dentist understands my anxiety but I’m still so afraid and I just feel like I can’t cope. If anyone have some more tips to survive it I will be forever grateful πŸ™πŸ’• I can always take medication for anxiety if that’s enough to help me cope with it.

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We are already in 2019. A year has flown by. As usually I want to reflect on my year with this post and also write some important things for you all. Every year has its ups and downs. Every year consists of good things and bad things which happen to us. The most important thing is how we react to all these things. I know how hard it’s to stay positive in this sometimes dark world. I just keep believing that there are so many good things in the world and that there are indeed so many good people. You just have to find your tribe. I’m so glad I did.

I’m so happy with my blogging community, mental health community, Yoga Girl community and the goddess revolution community. I’m thankful that I joined these communities this year. They made me feel less alone and so much happier. If I’m in Holland I will maybe go to a meet up with some yoga girls. I also really wish that we will continue to all be friends and hopefully one day we will all meet ✨ I know the universe brought us all together for a reason which is to be connected with awesome people, share our struggles and feel supported.

I learned a lot this year. I learn every day from this world. This year I realized that there are truly lovely people who care about you and want you to be happy. I learned that it’s better to have a few good friends than a million of fake friends. The ones who love you will always be there for you no matter what. I learned that true love exists when I saw my brother getting married in August in Spain. I learned that this life is an adventure. Sometimes we win and sometimes we loose. We learn from every experience. I also learned that it’s okay if I’m not where I want to be in life. I still have a long way to go. I will find a career I love and will keep growing. It all takes time, pacience and trust in myself. I have to love myself, believe in myself and know that I can make my dreams come true such as working and living in Spain ✨

I also went to my first feminist strike in Valladolid, in Spain on International Women’s Day on the 8th of March with my mother. This was such an empowerful event. I never went to a demonstration before. I really wish 2019 will be the year that less women will be suffering from violence. I wish that women and men have the same human rights. Together we are starting a revolution. This is just the beginning. 2019 will be the year where women can be themselves, love themselves and love each other πŸ’•

This year I also learned that music is the best thing in life 🎢 I would be lost without music. I went to so many amazing concerts such as the OperaciΓ³n Triunfo 2017 concert in Madrid with my friend Maria πŸ’• OperaciΓ³n Triunfo makes me so happy and full of life. I also enjoyed the concert of Pablo Alboran, Chenoa, Hombres G and Celtas Cortos with my mother in Valladolid. I also enjoyed so much the concert of Sofia Ellar with my friend Maria. I can’t wait to see her again. It was so lovely to meet Sofia and get a picture with her. She’s the best and I can’t wait to see her singing again 😍

This year I began to read again a lot which I loved to do so much when I was younger. I will continue reading this new year. I also kept writing and being creative. I hope to create more amazing content on this blog. Writing is amazing. I travelled to Madrid, Granada, Santander and Somo. I discovered Somo which is a beautiful surfing village in the north of Spain. In 2019 I really want to go to a surf camp again πŸ„β€β™€οΈπŸŒŠπŸŒž. I didn’t go surfing for more than two years. I miss it so much. It’s also so good for my mental health. The sea is my home and cleans my soul. The beach is my favourite place on this earth. I can’t wait to travel to more amazing places and meet more amazing people.

Somo, Santander (September 2018)

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Granada, Andalucia (July 2018)

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La RΓ‘bita, Mediterranean Sea, Granada (July 2018)

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Madrid (March 2018)

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Maybe for some of you this year was a hard year. Maybe some of you have lost someone close to you. Maybe you just didn’t felt okay and were struggling. I’m here for you. It’s okay to grief. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel sad. Feelings change and emotions change but it all takes time. Try to not be hard on yourself next year. Remember, I’ll will always be there for you πŸ’• I hope you will invest in self love and self care this new year because that’s the most important thing that matters. I also encourage you all to surround yourself with people who love you and who bring you only good vibes because you deserve that ✨.

I celebrated my New Year’s Eve in Valladolid, in Spain. I decided to not go out with my friends. I also didn’t go out last year. I used to party every year but I don’t feel in the mood anymore. I have to do what feels good to me. I went to the hairdressers in the afternoon to cut the dead ends, my bangs and they made curls in my hair. I love to look good for myself. I dressed up at home and did my make up. My mother and I went to the house of the mother of the wife of my brother. We celebrated all together New Year’s Eve: Rafael, my mother, VΓ©ronica, VΓ©ronica’s mother and her brother. We enjoyed eating delicious Spanish food.

We ate cheese, jamon serrano, chorizo, bread and chicken. I didn’t eat the fish because I don’t like fish so much haha πŸ˜‚ At 12 o’clock we watched the television and ate the 12 grapes. We also had champagne πŸ₯‚. It’s a tradition in Spain to eat the 12 grapes. They say it brings luck. We watched television where we were hearing beautiful music and we played Spanish card games. I really loved it so much. I love playing games with my family. At 3.30 am my mother and I went home and we stayed in watching some television. We went to bed at 6 am pretty late but doesn’t matter because it’s a special night. I’m glad I didn’t go out because as soon as we were home I got my period haha. On New Year’s Day we just stayed in and chilled. I saw the movie Grease. I just love that movie & the music so much 😍 I also saw the movie Paper Towns which I love so much from John Green. I already saw this movie with my best friend one day and loved it.

l wish you all an amazing new year full of love, happiness and luck πŸ€βœ¨βœŒοΈ Stay strong & stay safe. We are all in this together πŸ’ͺ I love you all so so so much ❀️. Thank you all for reading. How was your New Year’s Eve? Did you stay at home or did you went to a party? Which are your goals or dreams to achieve in 2019? I would love to know. I will speak to you all soon in my next blog post.

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Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Sometimes all you need is a trip to the ocean πŸŒŠπŸŒžπŸ„

Hola lovelies πŸ’•,

I’m really feeling like I’m in stuck lately. I feel like everyone is moving on with their lives and I’m not. It feels like I’m not living at all but just surviving with these feelings and thoughts. I just have to take it day by day. My anxiety is getting bad again as you may you have read in my last blog posts. In this blog post I will tell you why I spontaneous planned a trip to the beach with my mum and why it will help my mental health so much.

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I edited this collage with beautiful beach quotes I found ✌

Last week, I enjoyed the fiestas of Valladolid which was 10 days long. I enjoyed the delicious tapas, I went to amazing concerts and I had fun with my mother and friends. Last Friday, I was waiting for an artist to get a picture with them and you never know who I saw also waiting for the artist: the dentist. The one I’ve to go and the one who did the dental implant of my mother. Hhahah it was so funny and also kinda awkward πŸ˜‚. I was all the time talking about how I’ve to go to the dentist and that I’m anxious about it. My mother said maybe that’s him. Then he turned around and he said “hola” to my mother and to me “oh so you are the one who is afraid.” I said yes haha feeling shy. He was with a girl and I saw them kissing a lot lol it was such a pretty random meeting. He was also smoking which I think is pretty strange if you are a dentist, right?! I think smoking isn’t that good for your tooth but hey, that’s my opinion. We talked a bit about the artists and he said he enjoyed the concert and then they walked away. He seemed pretty handsome πŸ˜†. He’s like 40 years I guess.

Last Wednesday, I entered the dentist clinic and I really had to force myself to make an appointment. I didn’t see the dentist. I went with my mother and we only talked to a woman in the reception. She seemed nice and they even had a video with ambiance music with nature sounds. Hahah, seems perfect for anxious people like me πŸ˜‚. She said we had to make an appointment because everything was full that day. I said I didn’t have any pain only that my wisdom teeth aren’t okay. I’ve an appointment for next Wednesday at 7.00 in the afternoon. I hope I’ll not again postpone it and don’t go. I know I’ve to go and that’s is the best for my health. It’s only to make a picture of my tooth and talk with the dentist. You all know I’ve airplane tickets to go back to The Netherlands on the 26 of September. So, I don’t know if I need to get a treatment for my wisdom teeth before and if there’s enough time for it. I prefer to do it here because if he really is nice and caring, it would be much better for me. It’s also cheaper in Spain. I’ve been thinking to send the dentist clinic a message on Facebook about my anxiety but maybe that would be strange.

So, Wednesday night I couldn’t sleep again and was thinking that I really need to get away to feel better. I had to something to feel less anxiety and be happy again. I knew exactly what it was. I wanted to go to a Surf Camp in Somo, Santander which is in the north of Spain for so long. I also wanted to surprise my mother because her birthday is on the 22th of September. My father’s birthday was a few weeks ago and I sent him via a website a pie with some designed pictures so I also wanted to do something special for my mother. I was looking for hotels and found a cheap hotel in Somo, a paradise for surfers. This hotel has also a delicious Italian restaurant. Pizza and a beach hotel is just the perfect combination πŸ•πŸŒŠ. I’m already hungry for the pizza I’m going to eat 😍. The hotel is just 150 meters from the beach. I booked spontaneous a hotel for two nights which costed €110 which is pretty cheap. We are going this Sunday until Tuesday. The reviews of this hotel were so good too. I’m not going to a Surf Camp because the last one was this weekend. Instead, I’m going to take surf classes for €30 πŸ„πŸŒŠπŸŒž. I didn’t surf since two years so I’m really looking forward to it. Maybe, I will take one or two. My mother is really happy with this present. I’m so excited to go away for a few days. We still have to pack. My mother already bought the train tickets. It was like €78 for both and with some discount cards. 

Sometimes you just have to do what your mind tells you to do as in ways of doing spontaneous things such as travelling. Travelling always make me so happy even though flying makes me anxious. I prefer to travel by bus or train. I know flying is safe but I still feel anxious on airplanes and especially when there are turbulences. I just need to go to a beautiful place to clear my mind and be at peace. The best place to go for me is the beach. Feeling the wind in my hair, tasting the salt sea, hearing the waves, watching the waves crashing into the rocks, smelling the salt air all creates me a sense of peace. The sea gives me so much happiness. It always makes me so happy. I feel more calm and my anxiety become less. When I’m at the beach I feel one with the world and I can’t think of any problems. It all disappear just at that moment. Whenever I take the first step on the sand I already feel that the world is a happy place and that I belong here. In another blog post, I will write more about my relationship with the sea. I’ve always loved the sea. In The Netherlands, I lived just 15 min by car or one hour by bike from the sea. Here in Spain, the nearest place for me is Santander. It takes 3 hours by train or 4 and a half hours by bus. The beach of Somo is 30 minutes away by bus or 15 min by boat from Santander. 

Somo is a beautiful beach to enjoy for especially surfers. I’ve always wanted to go there and now I’m finally going and I feel like I’m in heaven when I look at this two videos. The beach is so beautiful. It’s a paradise for beach lovers as me. You can swim in the ocean and take beautiful walks. I love to walk on the beach. I love to swim in the ocean. I love to surf. I love to read on the beach. I love to take pictures on the beach. You can do so many amazinf activities on the beach. The list is endless. This beach is more than 2000 km long and it’s a beach of sand which I love. I don’t like beaches with rocks or stones that much. It hurts me. I love to feel the soft sand in my toes. I’m always covered with sands haha whereas so many other people hate it. The sand is my friend hahaha πŸ˜‚. I love it all. Beautiful nature πŸ˜πŸ’•πŸŒŠπŸŒž.  

Just look at these two videos I found on Youtube and you will know what I mean.

The sea cures everything. The salty water is so good for your health. I’ve also felt afraid in the ocean and respect it much because it seems like a infinite place. I can swim very well but I’m afraid to drown. I never go too deep into the ocean just to be safe. I remember a time I went to a Surf Camp in Galicia in the north of Spain too and was afraid of the high waves there. There was also bad weather so it didn’t make it better. I was looking at the weather and it will be between 22 and 28 degrees the days we’re going so that’s perfect πŸ‘Œ. The water is always much colder than the south of Spain. It also rains a lot in this region (Cantabria) so I always check the weather before I go. I just love to be in the sea, swim and surf. I never catched a real wave so hopefully one day I will. I can stand on the surfboard. I’m just still learning and just having fun which is the most important. I didn’t do it for two years so I’m still a beginner. I have to look if I still fit in my wetsuit. The sea is my medicine. Everything about the sea makes me feel so calm. Nature definitely is so beautiful and we have to go there more and enjoy it more. Whenever I’m surfing, swimming or just walking at the beach I forget everything. I feel at peace at the moment. Just being present makes such a difference in my anxious mind. Not thinking about the past or not thinking about the future is just the best. I have to admit that I really have to focus more on the now even though it’s difficult. It makes such a different in your mindset.

I can’t wait to go on Sunday. I’m counting the hours to meet the real love of my life again, the ocean. My last time at the beach was at the end of July when I went to Granada. I already miss it so much. Here’s a little poem I wrote about the love I have for the ocean. I hope you like it. I want to share more poems which I wrote.

The love of the ocean 🌊

The ocean who is always there for me, in good and bad times.

The ocean who knows all my secrets.

The ocean who knows my fears.

The ocean who never let me down.

The ocean who calms my anxiety.

The ocean who cures everything.

The ocean who makes my heart so happy. 

The ocean is my home.

The ocean is where I belong.

I will never stop loving the ocean.

Sometimes all you need is vitamin sea. Just do the things which calm your soul and which makes you happy you are alive. We really have to do more things we love. At the end, we will only remember the trips we made, the people who love, the things as books, music and movies we listened and watched and which will hold deep memories. Do more of what makes you happy and free. We’ll always be young, wild, happy and free πŸ˜„βœŒπŸ’•.

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A beautiful picture and quote I edited. I took this picture some years ago at the beach Zandvoort in The Netherlands. I hope you like it πŸ˜„

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope it inspired you to go on more spontaneous trips and do things which really make you happy in life. Do you also have dentist anxiety and do you have some tips to be calm? Do you also love to go on spontaneous trips? Do you love the sea as much as I do? Did you like my pictures and poem? I would love to know your thoughts and opinion πŸ˜„. I speak to you all soon in my next blog post which problably will be about this trip and maybe a photo diary.

Much love ❀,

xoxo Christina

My trip to Granada πŸ’•πŸŒžπŸŒ΄πŸŒŠπŸ„πŸ˜Ž

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I just want to thank you all for your sweet messages on my last blog post. It feels so good to write about my feelings and thoughts whether they are positive or negative. Let everything go. This blog post will be my travel blog post about Granada where I went last week with my mother. I hope you all are going to like it. I will share what I did, pictures which I made and some food what I’ve eaten. This will be my first travel blog post as I’ve never done one before. My other blog post about Granada will be about all the nice stuff I bought in Granada: shopping haul yeahhh. This is going to be a long blog post so I warn you already.

First day – Tuesday 24th of July

The first day of my trip was a travel day. From Valladolid to Granada it’s 7 hours by bus and one hour waiting in the bus station of Madrid. It’s 610 km. so far away! Granada is a city in the south of Spain, in Andalucia. The bus trip went well. I enjoyed listening to music, scrolling on social media haha, and I watched a movie in the bus. We had our own screen to watch movies, listen to music, play games and so many more things. I watched the movie Inside Out from Disney Pixar. I really love these movies so much. It was such a beautiful movie which reminds me that in life you have to feel sadness to also enjoy happiness in life. I enjoyed eating bread with tortilla which is typical in Spain and I ate an empanada of chicken. I also took some meds to not be naouseous in the bus.

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We took the bus at 12.30 from Valladolid. At 3 o’clock we were at the bus station in Madrid. There we waited for one hour. At 4 o’clock the bus left and we were at 8.30 in the bus station in Granada. My friend Antonio was waiting there for us. He brought us by tram and bus to our hotel. The only thing what was bad in the hotel was that we had one bed for me and my mother. I did the booking on internet via Booking.com and clicked the option two single beds. I told it at the reception but they told us that they only had one room with two single beds and that is was full. It didn’t matter. I made a bed on the ground with quilt and pillows and my mother wanted to sleep there. I slept in the other bed. We slept great without any problems. We could have another bed in the room but it would be €15 each night so better not.

We arrived at 9.30 in the hotel. Afterwards, we went for dinner at 11.00 o’clock. We ate some delicious tapas in a place which I love a lot. We ate bread with chicken, salad and bread with jamon serrano and melon. We also drank grape juice which is called mosto. I was really so hungry. We also went to a pizzeria and got a slice of pizza and ate it on a bench in the city centre. Afterwards, we went to the hotel and prepared some things for the trip to the beach next day.

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Second day – Wednesday 25th of July

We woke up and got breakfast in the bar Gerado just next to our hotel. In our hotel we didn’t have a restaurant or a bar. We ate bread with jamon serrano and a mosto. Afterwards, we bought a bus card to use during this trip. We walked down the street where there were so many arabic shops with mosaic lamps, mosaic patern, hippie clothes and stuff. I love that street so much. It feels like you are in Marroco. Hippie vibes everywhere yeahhh ❀✌ Also the owners of these shops aren’t Spanish. I bought some stuff which you will see in my next blog post. It was really hot outside, like 35 degrees which make us walk slowly. We also went to a view point which is called Carvajales. Granada has so many great view points where you can see the beautiful palace La Alhambra. We made some pictures and walked down the streets.

At 4 o’clock it was time to eat. Normally, we eat a bit earlier in Spain. My mother ate a ham and cheese crepe and a tinto de verano which is wine. I drank mosto and ate a menu which consisted of gazpacho andaluz (typical cold Spanish soup), albondigas (meat balls) with vegetables and watermelon. My menu was just €12.50 and also include the drink and bread. I love eating in Spain because it’s so cheap. My mother also ate from my menu. We enjoyed eating in restaurant Las Cuevas just at the end of the street Calderia Nueva where the hippie shops are.

After finishing eating we went to the hotel to rest, take a siesta and pack our things to go to the beach. At 7 o’clock in the afternoon we left the hotel and went to the bus stop to take the bus to the station and then walked to the house of Antonio. He would bring us to the beach by car. At the bus stop we met a lovely girl from Alicanta who’s name is also Cristina without the h and is 25 years old just like me. She’s working in the mountain Sierra Nevada in Granada and is researching the water there which is really interesting. She brought us with the help of Google Maps to the house of Antonio. I got here Facebook. I love to make friends. It took us one hour by car to go to his appartment in La RΓ‘bita where the beach is. His parents were already at the beach.

As soon as we got there I wore my bikini to go to the beach. I felt bad during that moment at the beach which I told in my last blog post: Feeling that I’m not honest I cried and when I woke up the next day, I felt much better than before. I also got tummy pain before so I knew my period was coming soon. It was going to come on Friday. We wanted to swim in the beach but we couldn’t because there were jelly-fishes in the sea. We saw a beautiful sunset on the beach. I didn’t want to get bitten so we just enjoyed the beach at night. At 11 o’clock we went to his appartment and eat all together (Antonio, his parents and my mother). His parents made delicious salad with vegetables, potatoes and chicken and watermelon and melon. The dinner was delicious and afterwards we went to bed. I sleep every night like at 3 o’clock or 4 o’clock because it’s so hot that I can’t sleep.

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Third day – Thursday 26th of July

We woke up and got a delicious breakfast with the mother of Antonio and my mother. Antonio and his father were already at the beach. We drank tea and ate bread with strawberry mermalade and watermelon. I’m so addicted to watermelon. I love it. After breakfeast I wore my bikini from O’Neill which is my favourite bikini and the material is from surfing wetsuits. It’s for surfing too but I prefer to surf with a wetsuit. We swam in the sea and stayed on the beach from 12 o’clock till 2.30 in the afternoon. It was so great to swim in the ocean after one year not going. I only swim in the sea when it’s Summer time. I really missed it so much. I didn’t see any jelly-fishes so it was fine.

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After swimming we went to his appartment to change our clothes to go to eat in a restaurant called ELCOLAS near to the beach. Last Summer, we ate here too with his family. I loved the menu because it wasn’t that much food. Sometimes I struggle with eating so much which makes me naouseous. There was a lot of food to choose from. My first plate was gazpacho, second plate was two chicken skewers with salad and potatoes and as dessert I got again watermelon haha. It was all so delicious. We had a great time.

We went to their appartment at 4.30 in the afternoon to rest and take a siesta. This is really typical in Spain. I really enjoy that a lot because it’s also too hot outside during Summer. At 6 o’clock we got up and we went to the beach again. I love to swim in the sea at that time because the water is even warmer than before and it’s not that hot outside. I love the Mediterranean Sea so much. It’s not that cold as the Atlantic Ocean. We stayed at the beach until 8.30 in the afternoon, swam in the sea and took some awesome pictures. We packed all our stuff in their appartment and had dinner. Antonio brought my mother and I again back by car to our hotel in Granada. He went home and we went to our hotel. We stayed in because we were so tired. I also had to shower and unpack our stuff. The beach makes me always so tired. The salt water definitely cleans my soul. It was such a great and happy day at the beach. I enjoyed it a lot! πŸ˜„πŸŒŠπŸ’•βœŒπŸŒ΄πŸŒž


Fourth day – Friday 27th of July

This was the last day in Granada because on Saturday we would have just a little bit of time left before we went home. We got up and got breakfast in Bar Gerardo. My mother ate bread with mermalade and butter and I ate bread with tomato and oil. We both drank tea. It was delicious and just for €2.50 each other so both €5. After breakfast we went to our hotel to pack some stuff and walked at the centre. At 3 o’clock we went to eat again, haha Spanish time. In Spain we always eat like the big meal during that time of the day. In The Netherlands dinner at 6 o’clock is the big meal. In Granada it’s famous to order a drink like mosto, water or wine and get a free tapa. We ate at the restaurant beauty and the beast. My mother drank wine and I drank mosto and we got a free tapa which was bread with ham and potatoes. It was really so delicious. That tapa was free but we ordered also a great salad with apple, chicken, cheese and everything.

We went to our hotel after eating until 7 o’clock. It was also really hot outside to do anything and I just got my period today. When I get my period I feel grumpy, have painfully cramps and I’m so tired and so dizzy so it was important to rest in our hotel room. It made sense that I felt emotional and had cramps the days before. In Spain the shops are open from the morning till 2 o’clock. Then they close and open at 5/6 o’clock until 9/10 o’clock. I really like that. In The Netherlands they are open from the morning till 5 or 6 o’clock in the afternoon. I like to shop at night. In Spain they call it afternoon until 8 o’clock hahah πŸ˜‚. I even felt a bit asleep and my mother too. Siesta time was great.

We went to the city centre and walked again around the hippie shops and bought more stuff. We walked to the view point of San NicolΓ‘s. It was still a bit hot outside and the streets in Granada are not flat which takes a lot of energy. I liked that we could ask people and they were always friendly to help us find the way to the view point. We stayed the whole time at the mirador of San NicolΓ‘s till 9 o’clock and even saw a beautiful sunset. There were so many people so it was sometimes difficult to take a great picture. I have made some awesome pictures. From that point you can see the beautiful palace Alhambra where we went last year and also the mountain Sierra Nevada which has no snow right now. It’s such a beautiful view over the city Granada.

This was my third time in Granada and the first time I already went to this view point. There were many people because they were waiting for the moon eclipse. I didn’t care that much because many times you almost don’t see anything. My friend Antonio texted me and asked where we were. I told him and we met him at the end of the street of hippie shops. We went to a great restaurant which is called Los Manueles. We ordererd water and a mosto and got a free tapa which was meat. We also ordered a salad and a french tortilla with potatoes. It was all so delicious. After dinner we ate a delicious italian ice cream. It’s a typical place in Granada to get ice cream. I had a chocolate ice cream and my mother lemon. At 12 o’clock we said goodbye to my friend and went to our hotel. We packed our stuff that night to be ready for tomorrow and went to bed.

Fifth day – Saturday 28th of July

So, this was my last day in Granada with my mother. I’m always sad when travelling trips come to end. I’m already thinking of a new trip to the beach Santander and to go to a surf camp yeahhh β€πŸ„. We got up and packed our things. We left the hotel at 12 o’clock in the morning which is always the check out time in hotels. We went to another bar which was close to our hotel. We ate a delicious breakfast. We were happy that we could leave our luggage in the hotel so that we could have time to go shopping without it. It’s much more comfortable. So, we went shopping till 2.30 in the afternoon, just less than two hours after breakfast. I wanted to go to the shop Alle-Hop and Sugar. I love those shops so much. They have a lot of awesome stuff and also stationery stuff which I love.

I’m going to share what I bought in my next blog post. I think you all will like the things I bought. We also went to a bar called Aliatar which was a bit difficult to find because everyone said another direction hahah. We bought bread with tortilla and jamon serrano (Spanish ham) for our trip back by bus to Valladolid. After shopping we went back to the hotel and they called a taxi for us because it’s much easier with all the luggage to go to the bus station of Granada. We had one hour at the station to relax and go to the bathroom. I hate to travel when I’ve my period and also the warm weather isn’t a great combination. That makes me even feel more dizzy and bad. My friend came 10 minutes before our bus was going to leave at 4 o’clock. We said goodbye and left Granada.

I’m really going to miss Andalucia. It’s such a beautiful region of Spain which has almost every day sunshine. I encourage anyone to go to Andalucia and visist Granada. There are more cities like Cordoba and Sevilla which I also want to visit in the future. All these cities have Arabic influences which is just so beautiful. I saw the movie Joy with Jennifer Lawrence in the bus and really enjoyed this movie. She’s one of my favourite actresses ever. We ate in the bus and relaxed. We were at 8.30 in the bus station of Madrid and bought again some empanadas with pisto and meat and some drinks. The bus left at 9.30 and at 00.00 we were in the bus station of Valladolid. We got a taxi to go home because at that time there aren’t busses anymore. Walking isn’t that much but we were really tired. It’s sad always how fast a holiday can go. Time always pass so fast when you are having fun πŸ˜‚

Sometimes a city can make you feel so happy. Granada makes me so happy. I feel like I belong there. Like I have my roots there. This city was just made for a hippie and beach girl like me ❀ This was my third time in Granada and damn every time I go I fell even more in love with this beautiful and magical city 😍😍😍. Thank you Antonio and your family for everything. We had a great time together. I also loved the hotel Cedran. I encourage anyone who is planning to visit Granada to stay in this hotel. It was just €30 each night which is really cheap. The hotel is in the city centre which is just perfect. The room is nice, has airco and the staff is really friendly and gave some tips of what to visit and free maps of the city. My heart belongs to Andalucia forevah, viva Andalucia olΓ© ✌🌊😍 See you next Summer! β™‘β™‘β™‘

I hope this blog post wasn’t borring or way too long haha πŸ˜‚. My Granada shopping haul will be in another blog post. I also made some polaroids and maybe I’m going to share them in another post. I hope you liked this post. Do you have ever been to Granada in Spain? Do you also like cities with Arabic influences? What do you think of my pictures? I would love to know your opinion in the comment section.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

10 reasons why I love December πŸ˜πŸŽ„

Hello lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

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YEAHHHH ASDFGHJKL it’s December and I’m so happy that it’s finally December! It’s my favourite month of the year. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right? I find December so special because it’s all about celebrating Christmas and New Year’s Eve with your loved ones and spread love and happiness in the world. This sometimes dark world needs that so much. Especially during that time we have to give more love to those who need it the most.

I’m gonna share now my 10 reasons why I love December so much! πŸ˜€ I hope you all agree and if you wanna add something, just write a comment below πŸ™‚ I would love to hear the things you love about this special month: DECEMBER.

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  1. Christmas lights

I think this is one of my favourite things of December. Everywhere you go you see Christmas lights. It’s getting darker and winter is coming. However, all those lights really light up my life and increase my happiness. I love it so much. I have lights in my room too. It’s just makes everything more cozy. I find it so nice to go shopping, to go to a restaurant or go outside and see all those Christmas lights around me. Christmas lights are everywhere. Gotta love it! ❀

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  1. Christmas songs and movies 

I’m so in love with Christmas movies. I love to watch Christmas movies and drink a hot  chocolate with cream or a cup of tea. My favourite Christmas movie is Love Actually. It’s a beautiful movie and all about Christmas and love. My favourite things in life! ❀ I also love the actors. It’s just such a cute movie. I also like the song “Christmas is all around us” in this movie. It’s just so funny! If you never watched this movie, you definitely should watch it πŸ™‚ I also love the movies Home Alone and The Holiday. What’s your favourite Christmas movie? I would love to know. I also love to hear Christmas songs. They makes me feel so happy. My favourite songs are “All I  want for Christmas is you” – Mariah Carey and “Last Christmas” – Wham! 

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  1. Christmas decorations

I love Christmas and its decorations so much. My mother is really obsessed about it too  haha. We have our home in Spain and in The Netherlands always decorated. I really like to  chill in the living room with the Christmas tree and its lights on. It just creates such a  nice and cozy feeling. Its the perfect ambiance. I also love the Christmas decorations  outside and just anywhere you go. It really increase that Christmas spirit.

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  1. Celebrations with your family and friends

This is an important reason why I love December so much. I love to have celebrations with my family and good friends. I love to celebrate Christmas with my family. This is  just such a beautiful time to spend extra time with your loved ones. I didn’t see some good  friends for almost a half year and one of my brothers a year ago because I live in Spain right now. This is the perfect time to see each other again and spread the love. I always celebrate Christmas in The Netherlands at home with my family. I always celebrate New Year’s Eve in Spain with my family. In Spain it’s a tradition to eat 12 grapes at 12 o’clock on NYE. We watch this tradition on the Spanish television. Afterwards, I always go out and celebrate New Year’s Eve with my good friends here in Spain.c45e97fb688cb6b3c83047cf35e0f60e.jpg

  1. Christmas cards

I love to write Christmas cards. I always write a lot of Christmas cards haha this year I wrote again 45 Christmas cards, which includes my dear family and good friends. I love to get Christmas cards. I love handwritten letters in general so much. It means the world to get them. This year I also draw some Christmas cards on my own. I hang all those Christmas cards in my room. Here’s a picture of some cards I draw and wrote this year.

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  1. Presents

I’m not in favor of luxery gifts such as really expensive gifts because it makes me feel spoiled. I find that Christmas sometimes is only about spending much money on expensive gifts and luxery food. I’m always thinking about the people who don’t have that much to spend or children in war. I prefer small gifts and things I really need. Maybe, I’m gonna make a blog post about the gifts I will get this Christmas. I really love to get presents but just little things and cheap things. They makes me so happy! πŸ™‚ Some gift wishes for me this year are a calendar for my room from New York City and a cinema light box. I really want a cinema light box since so long. It will look amazing in my room here in Spain. It’s a box with letters and lights. I also want a bucketlist calendar for my room which looks really cool with quotes and everyday there will be an awesome thing that you can do. I’m so excited for the presents which I will get this year under the Christmas tree!

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  1. Food/drinks

I love the food and drinks in December. I don’t love to eat so much that I get nauseous. I just love to eat little things and enough. In Spain, many people eat way tooo much omg like I don’t know how they will not throw up ugghh xD. I don’t like too much, just enough is good for me πŸ™‚ I love the cookies, sweets and chocolate. My favourite drinks during the cold months is definitely tea and hot chocolate. I love the brand name yogi tea where you can find a quote full of happiness and wisdom ❀ I also love a hot choolate so much. I make them at home with cream and marshmallows mmm ❀ This is my favourite cup of hot chocolate with xoxo. That reminds me of one of my favourite series Gossip Girl haha.

Here’s a picture of a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows which I made a few days ago in my favourite cup xoxo.

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I also love to have my favourite Christmas blanket and advent calendar! I got this calendar from my mommy. It’s always a tradition for me to eat a chocolate every day until Christmas. Every day it’s a different form and has something to do with Christmas πŸŽ„πŸŽ… December begins for me with the advent calendar! I love it haha. It really makes me feel like a child again, so happy and excited πŸ˜πŸ˜‚ . What’s your favourite Christmas tradition? πŸ’­

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  1. Christmas spirit

I think I never mentioned this on my blog before but I’m catholic. Many people forget that  Christmas is celebrating the birth of Jesus. I used to sing in a choir for 11 years. I always had to sing on Christmas eve and at night. It was really so beautiful to sing all those wonderful Christmas carols. I believe in god and I believe that there’s something more. Sometimes I find it hard to believe because there is so much cruelty and war in this world. There are still good people out there even though it sometimes is a dark world. For me, the Christmas spirit isn’t getting the most luxery gifts or eat so much that you will explode. The Christmas spirit is all about giving love to your loved ones and be there for all the people in need.

5 years ago my first love broke up with me and I felt horrible. I felt so sad. I still get sad sometimes with Christmas because it reminds me of that time. I’m forever blessed to have an amazing family and good friends who are always there for me to cheer me up and make me happy. There are many people who feel lonely and sad with Christmas. There are many people suffering with a mental illness, like myself with anxiety, or any other illness or even commit suicide around this time. I would like to think of that people and be there for somebody in need. I always think of the refugees and people who are suffering during a war too. This makes me realise how grateful I have to be for all the things I have in my life. It’s a time of reflection and giving thanks to all the things you have in your life while others don’t have that. We should never take that for granted.

“Serious Request is a family of annual multiday, multimedia fundraising events for International Red Cross initiatives, typically hosted by radio stations in the week before Christmas. During the Dutch 3FM Serious Request, three popular Radio DJs are locked up for six days in a small temporary radio studio (the “Glass House”), placed in a main square in a different city each year. Living on a juice-only fast, the DJs make a interactive, themed broadcast around the clock, while regular programming on the station is suspended. Funds are raised in a few different ways. While the DJs are in residence, they play songs requested by listeners and visitors, in return for their donations. Straightforward donations are made into the project’s bankaccount, and by physical vistors depositing cash and cheques into the house’s letterbox.”

I love this event in The Netherlands so much. Every year it’s a different project. I always ask for a song and donate money. I find it important to donate money to a charity especially around Christmas because I know there are a lot of people who need help and support. I hope you all think of something and help those people in need. They need your support and love! ❀

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  1. Snow

I’m always celebrating Christmas in The Netherlands. It doesn’t snow in the winters months like years before. I don’t like the cold but I love the snow haha pretty strange xD I love a snow landscape so much. I used to take a lot of pictures because it looks just so wonderful and beautiful and omg I’m in just so in love with winter wonderland. The best Christmas feeling is waking up on Christmas day with snow! The best Christmas feeling is a white Christmas! ❀ I really hope that this Christmas it will snow again in The Netherlands. Let’s pray for the best hahah! Who else love snow on Christmas day?

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  1. Lettings things go and new beginnings

I’m also one of those people who make a list of resolutions for the new year and then doesn’t accomplish almost half of it hahah xD. Who else does this? I think every day is a new day to accomplish things and do the things you love. However, the ending of the year always reminds me of letting go all the bad things that happened this year and think of all the things I have learned. I think I’m going to make a blog post about this one too. This one would be about some resolutions for the new year and things I ‘ve learned this year.

A new year is coming and we have to keep everything we have learned this year. It’s all wisdom. I don’t like that sentence of New Year, New Me. I still feel the same when it’s January the first hahah. Every year I learn new things and experience new things in life which makes me grow. That’s what I believe. We can change our life every day and it doesn’t have to be just with this new year arriving. A  year has ended and we are ready for all the new experiences. It’s a time of letting all the bad things go and for new beginnings. I really like that. It makes me happy to let all the bad things go and let all the love for new beginnings and happiness fill my heart <3.

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I hope you all liked reading this blog post. I found it very nice to write this one. Be prepared for more amazing Christmas/New Year related blog posts. I will already say to all of you: Have an amazing holiday season with your loved ones! ❀

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Love you all so much ❀ ❀ ❀

Xoxo Christina

Sometimes I really miss my childhood πŸ˜’πŸ’•πŸ‘ΈπŸŒˆπŸŒ 

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

I wanna talk in this blog post about how I miss my childhood sometimes. I think many bloggers can relate to this aswell, if of course you had a good childhood. Not everybody has that privilige especially kids in underdeveloped countries which I find so sad 😒. I remember one time that I made a box with toys and gave it to a church and they send it to those kids. They were so happy. They even wrote a card back to me. That just made my day! πŸ’•

This is little me, don’t know how old, maybe 5/6. I was dressing up as a beautiful princess haha πŸ‘‘πŸ‘Έ I always liked to play that. I would still do that for a theme party. It’s just so fun. I really like to dress up. I can’t wait to celebrate Halloween this Saturday with my friends here in Spain and dress up like a witch like I do ever year πŸ˜‚.

Sometimes I really do miss being this little. If I think of it I cry a bit. This was the time that I could be myself without a damn care in the world. This was the time that I could wake up at Christmas day and just be sooooo full of excitment. You know that feeling?! That’s just so beautiful. I still love Christmas so much but while having anxiety I find it sometimes stressing to be surrounded by all my family and get asked questions about what I’m doing with my life, career and all that stuff. I just don’t know what to say then. Back then nobody asked those questions. Life was just so simple. I really miss that. I could be happy with little things. As you grow older into an adult it all has to be big things such having a great job, a great partner and so on. Life is made about all those little things. 

This picture was made during Sinterklaas. I always made these crazy moves with my hand haha πŸ˜‚ This is a feast which we celebrate on the 5th of December. He brings presents to the kids. It’s so lovely that we all believed in this. We all believed in Sinterklaas, Santa Claus and The three kings when it wasn’t true. I was really shocked when I knew my parents were the ones who gave me presents. It was that time that I started not to believe the things people were telling me. I felt like everything was a lie. I was 8 years old. It’s just so magical to believe in all of this as a little child. 

That time I turned five years old. I love that the table is covered with images of beer hahaha xD. 

Everything was fun when I was little. I didn’t had periods pain. I played a lot and met great friends in primary school. I was really happy this time. It was at high school that I got bullied and things just changed. It was then that I knew the world wasn’t so colourful as I imagined. It was dark sometimes and sometimes really dark. I got a boyfriend when I was 17 and then at 19 he broke up with me and my whole life felt apart. I’m going to write about that love story in another blog post. It all felt apart in just in one second.

I miss this time where I could be innocent. I miss this time because I felt safe and loved in this wold. I didn’t knew anything yet about the dangers of the world. I just felt so happy and free like everything is fun and could smile and laugh the whole day. I miss this time because my heart was full of love and not broken. I miss this time because I wasn’t afraid of anything. I didn’t know the concept of fear in life. I was climbing on the trees and I didn’t think of falling out of the tree. That thought just didn’t came into my mind. If I would do that now, I would think of being careful and only do it if it will be 100% safe to do because I don’t wanna get hurt. When you are a child you just don’t think of all that stuff. 

What I really do miss is not being able to just not think about one second and not to worry all the time. Now I’m 24, and I worry so much. I guess I believed in too many fairytales. We all have so much to do in life and have to rush to do all those stuff. Adults seem to not be able to enjoy the present moment anymore and just sit still and do yoga and meditate. Those are such great tools to get that present moment and peaceful feeling back.

This picture was made during a holiday in Spain. I love the swing and still play on that sometimes. I just such a carefree feeling. 

This picture was also made in Spain in the Basque country. I was supporting these people hahaha πŸ˜‚

I have grown up with scars in my heart with being bullied in high school, having my heart broken and my father who almost died when I was 11 years old. This all caused me so much anxiety and sadness in life. After all, I’m thankful that this happened to me. It was all so hard but it shaped me. After my first love left me I couldn’t be happy and now after almost 5 years I’m able to be happy again. I now I won’t be this little innocent girl anymore but I have learnt from this all.

I learnt that life isn’t a fairytale but that it’s still so beautiful. We can make it beautiful. Its important to have deep and meaningful relationships with your family and friends. I learnt that we can add colour into our lives. I learnt that your family will always love you no matter how old you are. Your family will always be there for you πŸ’–

Those are my two older brothers. I love them till infinity and beyond. The middle: Rafael is 39 and the left one called Edward is 35. Edward is married and has a beautiful two years old daughter so yeahhh I’m already aunt! πŸ’•πŸ’–πŸ˜ Rafael has a Spanish girlfriend now for two years. 

I learnt that its normal to get nostalgic and sometimes wanna go back in time but its the past. We have to let it all go and move on. The future will be bright, it really will be 🌠 I learnt that we still have that child in our hearts. It’s still there but we have to set it free and be creative. I know the dangers of the world and am more careful but I still believe in the good people. I may be a real princess one day, who knows haha. What I really know is that I will be a dreamer & hippie for life. My heart will always be full of love and light because I so believe that even though the world can be seem really dark, there’s always a light that is shining out there πŸ’«

This is me also in Spain, Basque country in the garden of my lovely Spanish family 😍

Much love,

Christina xoxo 

10 reasons why I love blogging so damn much πŸ’•

Hey lovely bloggers,

I’m gonna share 10 reasons why I love blogging so much πŸ’œ I’m so happy I made WordPress almost three months ago. I never regret any second of it.

  1. Blogging brings me so much happiness to my life. Whenever I feel bad I can read some inspirational posts or quotes and feel happier again. 
  2. The blogging community is just the most awesome community ever. You are all so kind, lovely, beautiful, sensitive and so supportive. It just gives me goosebumps because it makes me remember that there are so many good people out there in this sometimes dark world.
  3. It inspires me so much. I learn so much of reading your blog posts. I can learn how to paint my nails for halloween, how to stay healthy, book reviews, travel tips, inspirational quotes, how to search for a job, how to handle my anxiety, improve self love and just soooo much more. I think blogging is such a good tool for inspiration.
  4. I love writing so much. Here I can write about anything. I love writing poems, my thoughts and feelings.
  5. It’s so good for my mental health. I have anxiety for like my whole life. Since I begin to share all my thoughts and feelings I feel less alone. I feel so supportive. There are more people on here who have a mental illness. I love the fact that not only the people who have a mental illness but also the ones who don’t have it understand me. I think that’s just so magical. In real life, there’s still a stigma around it and some people just don’t get it. Here it’s different πŸ’œ
  6. I feel safe here. Even though my blog is an open space I still feel safe and kinda privated. I just can write about anything and feel respected. I can wrote about how people have bullied me in high school, how I suffer from anxiety and how my first love broke up with me and it’s just all okay. Nobody will judge me and for that I’m so damn blessed. You are da best! πŸ’•
  7. There are no rules how to blog. In life there are many rules on how you have to do this and this but with blogging there are just no rules. Everything you write is okay. It doesn’t matter about what you write. It doesn’t matter if you write about your bad day or how you are stressing about an exam. Everything is okay because those are your feelings, thoughts and experiences. It’s your blog and you decide about what you are going to blog. 
  8. There is not a specific time when you should blog. You can just blog whenever you want. It doesn’t matter if you blog in the early morning, afternoon or late at night. It’s all okay. Just do it whenever you want.
  9. You can blog anywhere you want. This is also an important reason why I love blogging so much. You can just do it anywhere, may it be in a cafe, at school or in your garden. You just have to have your laptop or mobile phone with you. Then you can start to write. 
  10. It’s free. While other hobbies cost something like going swimming or doing a yoga class, blogging is totally free. You can have a premium account on WordPress if you want. It’s up to you. I don’t have one. Blogging is free and you can even gain money out of it but I don’t know how that works πŸ˜‚ Maybe one day I can make that happen… don’t know.

Are there any other reasons why you love blogging? Tell me, I would love to hear! πŸ’œ

I love you all so much πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’• I hope that you are all doing fine. In case you are not, I’m here for you. You are strong. You are all beautiful human beings. 

Much love to all of you,

Christina xoxo

Liebster award 2x <3

Hey lovely bloggers <3,

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I got nominated for the Liebster Award twice. I’m sorry it took a bit longer but I wanted to take my time to write a good blog post. The Liebster Award is an award to discover new, beginning blogs and is a great way to connect and support the blogging community. I feel so honoured that I was nominated for this award twice! πŸ˜€

The rules of this award are the following steps:

Step 1: write a 150-300 word post about your favourite blog that is not your own

My favourite blog on WordPress is without any doubt from the beautiful Chloe ❀ ❀ ❀ I met her on Instagram where she post beautiful pictures about self love and mental health. Her blog is all about her journey to self love while suffering from anxiety. She is also my mail friend like pen pal. I love to be friends with her and hopefully I will meet her one day.

On her blog and on Instagram she stays authentic and honest. I love that she shares the good and bad in life. Mostly, we can see a lot of fake people on social media but she is real. Her posts are about her struggles and how to find happiness while suffering from anxiety. Her posts and quotes really inspire me, make me happy and make me feel less alone. I encourage anybody following my blog, to follow her blog too because you won’t regret it!

Step 2: thank the blogger who nominated you

Thank you for nominating me for the Liebster Award, Cat and Anjana.  Your blogs are so awesome and inspire me so much. I love your blog posts about everything in life. Thank you so much for thinking of me. I encourage everybody to follow these two amazing blogs! ❀


Step 3: 10 facts about yourself (optional)

My blog is now almost three months old. I shared some personal stuff about me over the last three months, however I will share some facts about myself in case you don’t know them 😊.

  • I used to sing in a choir for 11 years in The Netherlands and travelled through Europe to sing with my choir in awesome places like in St. Peter’s Square, Rome for the Pope Benedict XVI.
  • I’m half Spanish/half Dutch; my father is Dutch, my mother is Spanish
  • I grew up between two cultures: Spanish and Dutch culture; I lived all my life in Haarlem, The Netherlands but am now living in Valladolid, Spain (The place where my mother was born).
  • I love writing poems and just all my thoughts and feelings.
  • I love surfing; I’m an beginner surfer, I went two two surf camps in Spain and surfed a lot in The Netherlands too. Even though I can’t catch like real waves I enjoy it haha and it makes me feel so free and happy (It’s already been more than one year that I didn’t surf, hopefully I will surf again soon).
  • I’m an highly sensitive person which means that I have a nervous system that is more sensitive than others and it process things more deeply. In other words, I feel more and love more. About 20% of the population has this personality trait. I can connect with the world in a way other people can’t. I cry and suffer more, but I also love deeply and have a deep appreciation of the beautiful world around me.
  • I think and dress like a hippie haha peace all the way! ❀
  • I used to do competitive swimming in The Netherlands, once I won the first price of estafette with my group. I really love swiming and would love to swim more because it’s really great to beat my anxiety.
  • I have anxiety for like my whole life. I blog about this a lot because it really helps to vulnerable and I get great support from all the people here. Since 8 months, I’m taking antidepressants like 20 mg each day and a benzo when I feel really anxious. This is really helping me a lot even though I’m now in a period of transition from college to real life which is really hard to cope with but I hope I will be okay soon.
  • I love travelling and travelled a lot through Europe. One of my biggest dream was going to New York City. Two years ago I won the Many Languages, One World Essay contest of 2015. I won a free trip to New York City in the summer of 2015. Our essays were related to the sustainable development goals. I wrote about the importance of gender equality between men and women. I wrote my essay in Spanish. I was in the Spanish team and we worked on our presentation for the United Nations together those days. We had to do a speech in the United Nations. Our project was called EMMA. This proyect was about how to end hunger, achieve food security and sustainablity. It was all so inspiring 😍. It made me think of all the things I wanna change in the world. This was definitely a once in a lifetime experience. I’m forever blessed to have experienced this and met everlasting friendships from people all over the world.

Step 4: Answer the questions your nominator has asked

First I will answer the questions of Cat 😊.

1) What’s your favorite book?

My favourite book is definitely β€œThe fault in our stars”. It’s a love story between two teenagers who have cancer. It’s soooo damn beautiful and emotional. You all should read this book in case you didn’t read it. I also love the movie so much.

2) Tell your favorite quote and why? (mention from which book, in case it’s from a book, you took it).

I have so many favourite quotes but this is definitely one of my favourites from my favourite book: β€œThe fault in our stars – John Green”. This quote is just so beautiful and so true because it shows what true love is and the hard truth of life.

β€œI’m in love with you,” he said quietly.

“Augustus,” I said.

“I am,” he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.”

3) When did you felt most satisfied with your life?

I felt the most satisfied and happiest in my life when I achieved one of my biggest dream which was going to New York City. Two years ago I won the Many Languages, One World Essay contest of 2015. I won a free trip to New York City in the summer of 2015 and spoke at the United Nations. I shared more details in the 10 facts about myself.

4) If you could choose live in any other place, where would it be ?

I would love to live in a place near to the ocean where it’s sunny every day like Hawaii, California, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Australia or Aruba. I would love to visit these places one day. I’m dying to go to Aruba and meet a famous yoga instructor called Yoga Girl and go on a yoga retreat and surf in the ocean of Aruba.

5) Are you capable of managing your social life with your blogging life?

Yes, of course! However, it’s kinda strange that sometimes I feel more connected to the blogging community than with people in my real life. I feel like I can share all my thoughts and feelings especially with having anxiety. I feel so much support here and it helps me so much.

6) Horror movies or Comedy movies? And why

Comedy movies of course, because I can’t watch horror movies. I’m a highly sensitive person and while having anxiety horror movies are just not my movies. It’s way too much for my senses. Comedy movies and romantic movies are the best 😊 ❀ They make me so happy!

7) If you had to spend the rest of your life with only one person, who would it be?

This is a difficult question because I really love all my good friends and family. I would spend it with my lovely mother because she is the one who always support and understand me. She is always there for me. I love her too infinity and beyond! ❀ She is the most important person in my life.

8) What is your favorite song? And why?

I love music so much that I really can’t choose one favourite song. One of my favourite songs is: Is this love from Bob Marley. I heard this song in a surf van when I was doing a surf camp in Spain. I just love those hippie vibes and it makes me feel so free and happy. Love and peace is the way in life! ❀

These are my answers of the questions of Anjana :).

1) Describe your personal sense of style?

My personal sense of style is hippie style. I love kinda hippie clothes and the boho style of fashion. My room is this style too haha. I wear flower headbands and a dream catcher as necklace. I also love to wear clothes with Aztec print. This all creates me the hippie feeling which means for me to have a free spirit, open heart and mind.

2) Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

I never like those kind of questions because it makes me feel insecure. I’m 24 right now so in 5 years I will be 29, that’s old hahah no. Sometimes, I’m afraid of the future and I just don’t know what I want do in my life. I never have like a plan. I hopefully see myself in 5 years being even more happy with myself, have faced more fears, being able to deal better with my anxiety, doing things that makes me happy and make a career out of it. Hopefully, I also have travelled to more amazing and beautiful places in the world and have made more memories and aventures with the people I love in life. I see myself livinig in Spain or somewhere else where it’s sunny and near to the ocean where I can surf.

3) Who is most important to you and why?

Definitely, my mother! ❀ She is the one that always support me in everything in life and is just always there for me. I love her so much. She is a strong and beautiful woman ❀ She is also the person who learned me Spanish and for that I’m forever blessed. Thanks to being able to speak Spanish, I won the essay contest of New York City and spoke at the United Nations.

4) What are 3 blog posts that everyone should have on their blog?

3 blog post that should be on every blog are one about ending the stigma of mental health illnesses, #me too campaign, and travels. Those are really important subjects for me and always keep me interested in reading them.

5) What is one thing you can’t live without?

That’s a difficult question…. Maybe some people would say their phone haha, but actually I can live without it. It’s not a real need. One thing I surely can’t live without is: WATER. I think many people take for granted all the things we have yet in so many countries in the world people still don’t have access to water which is one of the primary needs during the life of a human being!!! We drink water, we wash our clothes with water, we shower, we cook,…. we need water. It’s also the best thing to drink in the Summer because it doesn’t make me more thirsty like fanta or coca cola that contains so much sugar. I just love water even if it’s tasteless haha. It’s the best thing in the world! ❀ It’s so damn refreshing! 😍


Step 5: Nominate 5-11 bloggers with under 200 followers

It was a bit difficult find bloggers with less than 200 followers haha but I found some amazing bloggers :).

toomuchtooyoungblog.wordpress.com

prometheanreport.wordpress.com

moonlightsandmacaroons.wordpress.com

inspiringdude.wordpress.com

writtenbyroxy.wordpress.com

annepersonalblog.wordpress.com

thescintillation.com

lavenderhearts.blog

thehappinesshunt.wordpress.com


Step 6: Ask your nominee some questions

I’m excited to read your answers! πŸ™‚

1) Do you believe in life after death and why?

2) What do you find most important in life?

3) What would you do with the money if you won the lottery?

4) What is your favourite season and why?

5) What do you want to change in this world and why?

I had soooo much fun writing this long blog post even though it cost me some time but here’s it is 😊. I hope you enjoy reading it.

Much love,

xoxo

 

 

Mallorca: my favourite island πŸŒžπŸŒπŸ˜πŸŒŠπŸ„

Hey everybody,

I went three times to Mallorca in my life. I’m just so in love with this beautiful island in Spain. This island has so much to offer. You can enjoy the night life with plenty of bars. Besides, the food is really good in every restaurant (like in every place in Spain haha πŸ˜‚). 

Ths best thing to do is hire a car and go to every beautiful beach on the island. You can also go by bus to the beaches. I went to many beaches such as Es Trenc Beach. This picture is from my trip with some friends together with my brother. My brother hired a car and we went to Sa Calobra… the way by car is difficult but so worth it! We stayed in an awesome house with sea views on The Sierra de Tramontana. I can’t wait to go back! 😍😍😍🌊🌍

πŸ‘‰ You should all go to Mallorca! πŸ’–βœˆ

Much love,

xoxo