Conversations & having fun with my 3 year old niece πŸ’•πŸ‘§

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Today I will write a different blog post because I think it’s really fun to share. I hope you all will like it πŸ˜„. I will share some funny conversations I had with my niece and how much I love being an aunt. It’s so much fun and you learn so much from children. My brother Edward lives with his wife Elke and Noanne in the south of The Netherlands. They live near to Eindhoven. I don’t see them that often because they live far away from us like two hours by car/train. I was also living in Spain for a long time. Now that I’m back for a time in The Netherlands I see them more often. I really love that.

Two weeks ago my niece and brother came to our house in Haarlem. They came at 10.30 in the mornings and I had to wake up early πŸ˜‚ I slept only 6 hours that day so I was really tired. It was so nice to see them again. I took some nice pictures of Noanne with me in my room but I can’t share them online because my brother and his wife don’t want that. Of course I respect their privacy even though I really would like to share them…. maybe in the future who knows.

The last time I saw my niece and brother was on the wedding of my brother Rafael in August in Spain. It was nice to spend time with each other again. She’s now 3 years old and she can already talk a bit. We went upstairs to my room. I was afraid that she would fall from the stairs but she could climb the stairs upstairs alone. She said to me: “I’m a big girl, I can do it alone.” When we were upstairs in my room she felt like she was on a fair 🎑🎒🎠 I have so many stuffed animals, colours and things in my room hahaha πŸ˜‚ She was really happy to be in my room.

She began to analyse and look to my things and pick some stuff from my room. Then she looked on my floor where I had my antidepressants lying on the floor next to some books. She looked to my medication and said to me: “What’s that?” I was like uuuuhhh πŸ˜… Do I have to explain it or just stay silence? I stayed silence and let it be. Maybe, one day I will explain it when she gets older. I don’t think she will understand it anyway because she’s so little.

She’s just so curious about everything. I think it’s really important in a child to be curious of the world, ask questions so you get to know how things work. I still feel curious about so many things and would love to ask questions but then I get scared because of judgment. Then out of the blue she said and looked to my bedside table: “Why do you have a snow ball on your bedside table?” I felt confused and thought I began to go crazy πŸ˜‚ I didn’t know what she meant but I guess she meant the fluffed snowman which had a little book. I had to read the little story for her. We had a nice time with the family.

Last Saturday my mother and I went to Eindhoven, which is a city in The South of The Netherlands. I really love this region so much. It’s called Brabant. We went to the light festival Glow which is every year. Maybe I will post another blog post with some videos and pictures of this event. When we arrived at the station of Eindhoven we met my brother and Noanne. As we were sitting in the car suddenly Noanne said: “When we are older we die.” I was like wow is it normal to talk about these things when you are only three years old?! 😱 My brother and Elke talk about everything with her. We went to the house of my brother in Geldrop. We also ate there during the evening.

I remember that I went to the toilet to do my make up and brush my hair to be ready to go to the light festival. Noanne was talking to me while I was in the toilet haha πŸ˜‚. I opened the door and she said: “What are you doing?” I said that I was doing my make up. Then she said: “Do you do that every day?” I said that I don’t do it everyday. I was brushing my hair and did all my hair for my eyes so that you couldn’t see me. Noanne then said: “You are hiding” and “Beautiful brown hair.” Then she said that I’m a monkey hahah πŸ˜‚ She’s so crazy πŸ’• I love it. I said that I have clits in my hair and then she said that she also has that and that it hurts.

I love that she always says that I’m really sweet. She’s such an adorable child πŸ’– Her favourite colour is black hahah which is really rare. She loves to colour and is such a crazy lovely child. She laughs a lot and is always happy. I wish I was a child again. It’s so great to be so little and be innocent. When we were leaving she grabbed me and I felt down on the ground and then she said: “I want to stay with you.” Then she did such her mouth in the form of a kiss and said that she also want lipstick. She’s just so cute. I really love her so much.

If only she could stay this young forever. When I look in her eyes and see the way she acts I feel happy. When you are that young you are just going with the flow in life and don’t know the dangers of the world. Everything is nice and funny. I really wish I could go back to that time again because I was such a happy child. It was in my teenage years that I begin to feel bad because of anxiety, being bullied and having my first heart break. Sometimes I really wish we could be able to travel back in time and relive those moments of true happiness again. Hopefully, I will live such moments again in my life. I’m sure that that time will come too.

Noanne makes me feel happy and and makes me think of how simple life is. Adults complicate life so much when real happiness is so simple like a laugh, being crazy and enjoying the little things in life. We are never growing up like Peter Pan. We always have child in us and we have to play with our inner child every day. On the 1th of December we are celebrating Sinterklaas with the whole family so we will be back in Brabant. I can’t wait to see them all again and get presents. I love that time of the year so much.

Thank you all for reading. I hope you all liked this blog post about conversations with my little niece Noanne. Do you also have these kind of conversations with your niece/nephew? Do you also love the joy and innocence of children? Do you also wish to go back in time and be a child again? Let me know in the comments. I would love to know your thoughts.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

10 reasons why I love December πŸ˜πŸŽ„

Hello lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

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YEAHHHH ASDFGHJKL it’s December and I’m so happy that it’s finally December! It’s my favourite month of the year. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right? I find December so special because it’s all about celebrating Christmas and New Year’s Eve with your loved ones and spread love and happiness in the world. This sometimes dark world needs that so much. Especially during that time we have to give more love to those who need it the most.

I’m gonna share now my 10 reasons why I love December so much! πŸ˜€ I hope you all agree and if you wanna add something, just write a comment below πŸ™‚ I would love to hear the things you love about this special month: DECEMBER.

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  1. Christmas lights

I think this is one of my favourite things of December. Everywhere you go you see Christmas lights. It’s getting darker and winter is coming. However, all those lights really light up my life and increase my happiness. I love it so much. I have lights in my room too. It’s just makes everything more cozy. I find it so nice to go shopping, to go to a restaurant or go outside and see all those Christmas lights around me. Christmas lights are everywhere. Gotta love it! ❀

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  1. Christmas songs and movies 

I’m so in love with Christmas movies. I love to watch Christmas movies and drink a hot  chocolate with cream or a cup of tea. My favourite Christmas movie is Love Actually. It’s a beautiful movie and all about Christmas and love. My favourite things in life! ❀ I also love the actors. It’s just such a cute movie. I also like the song “Christmas is all around us” in this movie. It’s just so funny! If you never watched this movie, you definitely should watch it πŸ™‚ I also love the movies Home Alone and The Holiday. What’s your favourite Christmas movie? I would love to know. I also love to hear Christmas songs. They makes me feel so happy. My favourite songs are “All I  want for Christmas is you” – Mariah Carey and “Last Christmas” – Wham! 

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  1. Christmas decorations

I love Christmas and its decorations so much. My mother is really obsessed about it too  haha. We have our home in Spain and in The Netherlands always decorated. I really like to  chill in the living room with the Christmas tree and its lights on. It just creates such a  nice and cozy feeling. Its the perfect ambiance. I also love the Christmas decorations  outside and just anywhere you go. It really increase that Christmas spirit.

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  1. Celebrations with your family and friends

This is an important reason why I love December so much. I love to have celebrations with my family and good friends. I love to celebrate Christmas with my family. This is  just such a beautiful time to spend extra time with your loved ones. I didn’t see some good  friends for almost a half year and one of my brothers a year ago because I live in Spain right now. This is the perfect time to see each other again and spread the love. I always celebrate Christmas in The Netherlands at home with my family. I always celebrate New Year’s Eve in Spain with my family. In Spain it’s a tradition to eat 12 grapes at 12 o’clock on NYE. We watch this tradition on the Spanish television. Afterwards, I always go out and celebrate New Year’s Eve with my good friends here in Spain.c45e97fb688cb6b3c83047cf35e0f60e.jpg

  1. Christmas cards

I love to write Christmas cards. I always write a lot of Christmas cards haha this year I wrote again 45 Christmas cards, which includes my dear family and good friends. I love to get Christmas cards. I love handwritten letters in general so much. It means the world to get them. This year I also draw some Christmas cards on my own. I hang all those Christmas cards in my room. Here’s a picture of some cards I draw and wrote this year.

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  1. Presents

I’m not in favor of luxery gifts such as really expensive gifts because it makes me feel spoiled. I find that Christmas sometimes is only about spending much money on expensive gifts and luxery food. I’m always thinking about the people who don’t have that much to spend or children in war. I prefer small gifts and things I really need. Maybe, I’m gonna make a blog post about the gifts I will get this Christmas. I really love to get presents but just little things and cheap things. They makes me so happy! πŸ™‚ Some gift wishes for me this year are a calendar for my room from New York City and a cinema light box. I really want a cinema light box since so long. It will look amazing in my room here in Spain. It’s a box with letters and lights. I also want a bucketlist calendar for my room which looks really cool with quotes and everyday there will be an awesome thing that you can do. I’m so excited for the presents which I will get this year under the Christmas tree!

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  1. Food/drinks

I love the food and drinks in December. I don’t love to eat so much that I get nauseous. I just love to eat little things and enough. In Spain, many people eat way tooo much omg like I don’t know how they will not throw up ugghh xD. I don’t like too much, just enough is good for me πŸ™‚ I love the cookies, sweets and chocolate. My favourite drinks during the cold months is definitely tea and hot chocolate. I love the brand name yogi tea where you can find a quote full of happiness and wisdom ❀ I also love a hot choolate so much. I make them at home with cream and marshmallows mmm ❀ This is my favourite cup of hot chocolate with xoxo. That reminds me of one of my favourite series Gossip Girl haha.

Here’s a picture of a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows which I made a few days ago in my favourite cup xoxo.

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I also love to have my favourite Christmas blanket and advent calendar! I got this calendar from my mommy. It’s always a tradition for me to eat a chocolate every day until Christmas. Every day it’s a different form and has something to do with Christmas πŸŽ„πŸŽ… December begins for me with the advent calendar! I love it haha. It really makes me feel like a child again, so happy and excited πŸ˜πŸ˜‚ . What’s your favourite Christmas tradition? πŸ’­

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  1. Christmas spirit

I think I never mentioned this on my blog before but I’m catholic. Many people forget that  Christmas is celebrating the birth of Jesus. I used to sing in a choir for 11 years. I always had to sing on Christmas eve and at night. It was really so beautiful to sing all those wonderful Christmas carols. I believe in god and I believe that there’s something more. Sometimes I find it hard to believe because there is so much cruelty and war in this world. There are still good people out there even though it sometimes is a dark world. For me, the Christmas spirit isn’t getting the most luxery gifts or eat so much that you will explode. The Christmas spirit is all about giving love to your loved ones and be there for all the people in need.

5 years ago my first love broke up with me and I felt horrible. I felt so sad. I still get sad sometimes with Christmas because it reminds me of that time. I’m forever blessed to have an amazing family and good friends who are always there for me to cheer me up and make me happy. There are many people who feel lonely and sad with Christmas. There are many people suffering with a mental illness, like myself with anxiety, or any other illness or even commit suicide around this time. I would like to think of that people and be there for somebody in need. I always think of the refugees and people who are suffering during a war too. This makes me realise how grateful I have to be for all the things I have in my life. It’s a time of reflection and giving thanks to all the things you have in your life while others don’t have that. We should never take that for granted.

“Serious Request is a family of annual multiday, multimedia fundraising events for International Red Cross initiatives, typically hosted by radio stations in the week before Christmas. During the Dutch 3FM Serious Request, three popular Radio DJs are locked up for six days in a small temporary radio studio (the “Glass House”), placed in a main square in a different city each year. Living on a juice-only fast, the DJs make a interactive, themed broadcast around the clock, while regular programming on the station is suspended. Funds are raised in a few different ways. While the DJs are in residence, they play songs requested by listeners and visitors, in return for their donations. Straightforward donations are made into the project’s bankaccount, and by physical vistors depositing cash and cheques into the house’s letterbox.”

I love this event in The Netherlands so much. Every year it’s a different project. I always ask for a song and donate money. I find it important to donate money to a charity especially around Christmas because I know there are a lot of people who need help and support. I hope you all think of something and help those people in need. They need your support and love! ❀

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  1. Snow

I’m always celebrating Christmas in The Netherlands. It doesn’t snow in the winters months like years before. I don’t like the cold but I love the snow haha pretty strange xD I love a snow landscape so much. I used to take a lot of pictures because it looks just so wonderful and beautiful and omg I’m in just so in love with winter wonderland. The best Christmas feeling is waking up on Christmas day with snow! The best Christmas feeling is a white Christmas! ❀ I really hope that this Christmas it will snow again in The Netherlands. Let’s pray for the best hahah! Who else love snow on Christmas day?

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  1. Lettings things go and new beginnings

I’m also one of those people who make a list of resolutions for the new year and then doesn’t accomplish almost half of it hahah xD. Who else does this? I think every day is a new day to accomplish things and do the things you love. However, the ending of the year always reminds me of letting go all the bad things that happened this year and think of all the things I have learned. I think I’m going to make a blog post about this one too. This one would be about some resolutions for the new year and things I ‘ve learned this year.

A new year is coming and we have to keep everything we have learned this year. It’s all wisdom. I don’t like that sentence of New Year, New Me. I still feel the same when it’s January the first hahah. Every year I learn new things and experience new things in life which makes me grow. That’s what I believe. We can change our life every day and it doesn’t have to be just with this new year arriving. A  year has ended and we are ready for all the new experiences. It’s a time of letting all the bad things go and for new beginnings. I really like that. It makes me happy to let all the bad things go and let all the love for new beginnings and happiness fill my heart <3.

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I hope you all liked reading this blog post. I found it very nice to write this one. Be prepared for more amazing Christmas/New Year related blog posts. I will already say to all of you: Have an amazing holiday season with your loved ones! ❀

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Love you all so much ❀ ❀ ❀

Xoxo Christina

Sometimes I really miss my childhood πŸ˜’πŸ’•πŸ‘ΈπŸŒˆπŸŒ 

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

I wanna talk in this blog post about how I miss my childhood sometimes. I think many bloggers can relate to this aswell, if of course you had a good childhood. Not everybody has that privilige especially kids in underdeveloped countries which I find so sad 😒. I remember one time that I made a box with toys and gave it to a church and they send it to those kids. They were so happy. They even wrote a card back to me. That just made my day! πŸ’•

This is little me, don’t know how old, maybe 5/6. I was dressing up as a beautiful princess haha πŸ‘‘πŸ‘Έ I always liked to play that. I would still do that for a theme party. It’s just so fun. I really like to dress up. I can’t wait to celebrate Halloween this Saturday with my friends here in Spain and dress up like a witch like I do ever year πŸ˜‚.

Sometimes I really do miss being this little. If I think of it I cry a bit. This was the time that I could be myself without a damn care in the world. This was the time that I could wake up at Christmas day and just be sooooo full of excitment. You know that feeling?! That’s just so beautiful. I still love Christmas so much but while having anxiety I find it sometimes stressing to be surrounded by all my family and get asked questions about what I’m doing with my life, career and all that stuff. I just don’t know what to say then. Back then nobody asked those questions. Life was just so simple. I really miss that. I could be happy with little things. As you grow older into an adult it all has to be big things such having a great job, a great partner and so on. Life is made about all those little things. 

This picture was made during Sinterklaas. I always made these crazy moves with my hand haha πŸ˜‚ This is a feast which we celebrate on the 5th of December. He brings presents to the kids. It’s so lovely that we all believed in this. We all believed in Sinterklaas, Santa Claus and The three kings when it wasn’t true. I was really shocked when I knew my parents were the ones who gave me presents. It was that time that I started not to believe the things people were telling me. I felt like everything was a lie. I was 8 years old. It’s just so magical to believe in all of this as a little child. 

That time I turned five years old. I love that the table is covered with images of beer hahaha xD. 

Everything was fun when I was little. I didn’t had periods pain. I played a lot and met great friends in primary school. I was really happy this time. It was at high school that I got bullied and things just changed. It was then that I knew the world wasn’t so colourful as I imagined. It was dark sometimes and sometimes really dark. I got a boyfriend when I was 17 and then at 19 he broke up with me and my whole life felt apart. I’m going to write about that love story in another blog post. It all felt apart in just in one second.

I miss this time where I could be innocent. I miss this time because I felt safe and loved in this wold. I didn’t knew anything yet about the dangers of the world. I just felt so happy and free like everything is fun and could smile and laugh the whole day. I miss this time because my heart was full of love and not broken. I miss this time because I wasn’t afraid of anything. I didn’t know the concept of fear in life. I was climbing on the trees and I didn’t think of falling out of the tree. That thought just didn’t came into my mind. If I would do that now, I would think of being careful and only do it if it will be 100% safe to do because I don’t wanna get hurt. When you are a child you just don’t think of all that stuff. 

What I really do miss is not being able to just not think about one second and not to worry all the time. Now I’m 24, and I worry so much. I guess I believed in too many fairytales. We all have so much to do in life and have to rush to do all those stuff. Adults seem to not be able to enjoy the present moment anymore and just sit still and do yoga and meditate. Those are such great tools to get that present moment and peaceful feeling back.

This picture was made during a holiday in Spain. I love the swing and still play on that sometimes. I just such a carefree feeling. 

This picture was also made in Spain in the Basque country. I was supporting these people hahaha πŸ˜‚

I have grown up with scars in my heart with being bullied in high school, having my heart broken and my father who almost died when I was 11 years old. This all caused me so much anxiety and sadness in life. After all, I’m thankful that this happened to me. It was all so hard but it shaped me. After my first love left me I couldn’t be happy and now after almost 5 years I’m able to be happy again. I now I won’t be this little innocent girl anymore but I have learnt from this all.

I learnt that life isn’t a fairytale but that it’s still so beautiful. We can make it beautiful. Its important to have deep and meaningful relationships with your family and friends. I learnt that we can add colour into our lives. I learnt that your family will always love you no matter how old you are. Your family will always be there for you πŸ’–

Those are my two older brothers. I love them till infinity and beyond. The middle: Rafael is 39 and the left one called Edward is 35. Edward is married and has a beautiful two years old daughter so yeahhh I’m already aunt! πŸ’•πŸ’–πŸ˜ Rafael has a Spanish girlfriend now for two years. 

I learnt that its normal to get nostalgic and sometimes wanna go back in time but its the past. We have to let it all go and move on. The future will be bright, it really will be 🌠 I learnt that we still have that child in our hearts. It’s still there but we have to set it free and be creative. I know the dangers of the world and am more careful but I still believe in the good people. I may be a real princess one day, who knows haha. What I really know is that I will be a dreamer & hippie for life. My heart will always be full of love and light because I so believe that even though the world can be seem really dark, there’s always a light that is shining out there πŸ’«

This is me also in Spain, Basque country in the garden of my lovely Spanish family 😍

Much love,

Christina xoxo 

All of my kindness is taken for weaknessΒ 

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’ž,

​I think of this quote so much. It is from the song FourFiveSeconds from Rihanna and some other artists. This relates so much to my experiences in life and interaction with people. I always treat people with respect and am always kind. Unfortunately, all of my kindness is taken for weakness. Why do you think? πŸ’­

Kindness in today’s world is so rare that whenever people come across with someone that is kind, they assume it to be weakness. It is so much easier to hate and be judgmental. I don’t see kindness as a weakness. I see it as a strength. Being kind in a sometimes dark world takes so much courage.

Unfortunately, the kind people are the ones who suffer the most. I have had so many times that people took advantage of me and bullied me because of my kindness. They know I will never become angry or hateful. I am an easy target. However, I tried to change. I wanna be mean sometimes but I just fucking can’t. It’s not in my personality to be mean at people.

I have learned that kindness is a strength. I have learned that I don’t have to change and become this angry person because that won’t bring me any good in my life. I have learned that I can stay myself. I just have to set boundaries for people and say no more often and don’t let people taking advantage of me. I have learned to stay away from negative and judgemental people.

Why should you change yourself to be accepted in this world? No, fucking no. Even though in my opinion there are a lot of bad people out there, there are still so many good and kind people out there too. You just have to find them. We need people who are kind to each other in this world. You never know what they are going through.

It’s just sooo important to be surrounded with people who support and care about you. Kindness is such a good thing. If there wouldn’t be any kind person on this planet, it would be a really dark world. Shout out to all those beautiful kind people who take the fucking courage to be kind even though they have been hurt! πŸ‘

Don’t let the world make you hate or break your own heart. Never change. Stay kind and true to yourself πŸ’œπŸ‘ŒπŸ’« You are beautiful just the way you are πŸ’ž

Much love to all of you πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•,

xoxo

You can either run from your past or learn from it πŸ’«

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

I just love this quote so much from R.M. Drake from Instagram πŸ’œ. You can all follow him on Instagram. I love his poetry and books he has written. This is exactly the way I’m feeling right now. If anybody feels this way too, remember you are not alone in this. Sometimes I still feel the the pain of my past. The pain of having my heart broken and giving my heart to the wrong people. It still fucking hurts πŸ’”πŸ˜’ .

I wish I could hate you and write everything that I hate about you… but I just can’t. There’s still a little piece in my heart that loves you, and maybe always will. First loves always hurt. First break ups even more. This Christmas it will be already 5 years since you left me. It’s such a long time ago. I’m so much better than before and almost don’t cry about you anymore but sometimes it still hits me how you broke my heart into pieces. We were too young.  I wanna feel love again and I know I can. It just takes time. My heart needs to heal. 

I also feel the hurt of people who hurt me in the past. I can still remember of people bullying me and making me feel worthless. When I meet new people I’m afraid to open up. When I know they are good people I can make life long friendships. I just have to feel safe. I have to remember myself that I’m not my past. I have to remember myself that I’m strong enough to let it all go.

If anybody feels this way too, remember that you are loved and not alone. We all go through hard times, just not at the same time. We all have to deal with toxic people in our lives. The best thing ever I did was to let those people go and only surround myself with good people, the ones who lift you up and will love you no matter what happens. You can either run from your past or learn from it like they say in The Lion King πŸ’• .

Learn from it, grow and be the best version of yourself because you fucking deserve all the good things of the world. You are beautiful and loved πŸ’•πŸ’«βœŒ

Much love,

xoxo πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•