Life struggles

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Today I want to talk about how I’m feeling lately especially last week. I have been struggling with life, with myself and just everything in general. I love to always be honest here because this community as well as the Yoga Girl community on Facebook and the mental health community on Instagram are always there for me πŸ’–. In this fake world I’m so happy to have found a place where I can be πŸ’―% myself, vulnerable and honest. There are so many fake people out there who say they are your friend which isn’t true. They don’t care about how you are really feeling. They are just curious and want to gossip around. That’s just the sad reality.

So, I feel that life is a struggle lately. I’m having such a bad sleep routine like always. I’m sorry if I keep repeating myself. I can’t sleep the whole night and then have to sleep in the middle of the night until the afternoon. I really hope I can change this routine soon because it isn’t good for my health to live like this. I feel bad too because I saw my mother crying a few days ago. It hurts me the most to see her crying because she’s always so strong but at the end she breaks down like everyone. She was not feeling well and she also don’t like to see me suffering πŸ˜’πŸ’”.

I’m also struggling, feeling emotional and anxious because of being so afraid of going once to the dentist. I know I have to do it one day but I keep postponing it because of fear. My four wisdom teeth are impacted. I know my wisdom teeth need to get out since like two years ago or so. Dentist anxiety is real and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m not the only one who suffers with this. I had a bad experience with a dentist in The Netherlands who called me childish and said I was acting like someone who has 15 years old. This caused me having a panic attack after the visit. This also increased my dental anxiety more.

Last September I went to the dentist here in Spain where my mother also had to do a dental implant. He is really handsome haha and also nice. He understands my anxiety and didn’t find it strange or weird that I was crying there. I know they are all 4 impacted but as the dentist here said it’s better to get it done one by one. I don’t want anyone to push me to do it so hopefully I can face this fear this Summer. Summer time is for happiness but I know I have to do it. I also felt strange things sometimes in my mouth, have a bad stomach and I’m nauseous sometimes. Maybe it is because of my wisdom teeth. I was crying these nights and being emotional also because I have my period. Maybe, I could take valium from my mother to use it when I go to the dentist. If anyone knows a tip or something I would really appeciate it. I know that at the end all my worries don’t come out. It’s just that horrible feeling of anxiety which makes me feel like I can’t cope with it. I know many people who suffer from a mental illness know how hard it is to not listen to our mind and all our worries. It isn’t so easily to snap out of it. I just can’t.

I also am still struggling with finding a job. My dream is to live and work in Spain but it’s difficult. If you want to work in the public sector in Spain you need to do an exam. Even then it is difficult to get the job. I apply for jobs in hotels on Infojobs and other websites but I don’t get an answer. I’m also so anxious to get a job because of anxiety. I just don’t know how to do it. I wish I could find a job that is meaningful and purposeful. I didn’t hear anything back from the internship interview in April. I think the hotel needed to have a confirmation for an agreement with my university. I can’t have that since I graduated two years ago. It just feels that my life is standing still while others are going on with their life. I’m just surviving. Afraid of life and afraid of death, what a way of existing.

Also Summer time is here and it’s my fav season 🌞🌊 but I also sometimes feel the pressure to be happy all the time. Anxiety doesn’t go away just because it’s Summer. I still can be anxious with things. I also don’t like the heatwave this week. Today it was 37 degrees and tomorrow it will be 41 degrees. I stayed at home today because I also don’t feel good because of this heatwave and having my period. I get these horrible cramps, feel dizzy and have headaches. Thanks to medication and paracatemol it makes it a bit better. 40 degrees is really too much for me and makes me feel sick. Together with my period it’s just the worst 😒. I hope I will survive it πŸ”₯

I really love Summer and enjoy being in the sunshine. I also love to go for walks with my mother or read a nice book or magazine on a bench or on the grass. I bought some nice books last week which I will share in a book haul soon when they arrive. Bad moments don’t go away just because it’s Summer. We have to accept that and live with it. I also can’t wait to really enjoy Summer time. I can’t wait to go surfing, swimming 🏊 and go to the beach πŸ„πŸŒŠπŸŒž. I also love blogging and penpalling. It’s important to do things we love to do and to have fun. I just hope we all can have a great Summer and enjoy it as we deserve it. I hope we will have good moments full of love, peace and happiness ✌️. I hope we can overcome the bad moments all together πŸ’ͺ We are always in this together πŸ’— It feels good to let my thoughts and feelings out here as I feel like I don’t have to carry it all on my own because that makes it too heavy.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope it somehow made some sense to you. Do you also sometimes feel like life is a struggle? Can you relate to what I feel and how would you cope? Does Summer makes you feel like you have to be happy all the time? I hope you can give me some advice to overcome my fears as I would really appreciate it πŸ™πŸ’—. Thank you for always being there for me. It means the world to me. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Speak up for the people who can’t πŸ’ͺ

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Today I just wanted to talk about something important. I will talk about how important it is to speak up for the people who can’t. Many people in our world can’t speak up for their human rights because they may live in countries where there’s a war and are afraid of speaking up. There can be consequences of speaking up. I will talk about many subjects related to this. I hope it will inspire people and make this world a better place to live in πŸŒβœ¨πŸ™

I was thinking about this topic when I was listening a few days ago to a postcast from Yoga Girl. It was about the abortion ban in some states in America. This is going on right now and it’s really scary. It felt good to hear this important topic which I also agreed on. I believe that every woman has the right to choose to do what they want with their body and whether they want to have children or not. I don’t want that we are going backwards in history.

It’s really terrifying what’s happening in America. This abortion ban will be bad for all women. Even women who are raped will not have the choice to do an abortion. It’s just a horrible thought for women to have a baby from being raped. You can choose to not do abortion for yourself but to ban it is just not aceptable. It’s a human right. It feels like they are now making a political issue of it. That’s why it’s so important to speak about this. We can’t just accept this. I was happy to go to the first feminist strike in Spain last year and speak up about all the injustice we women have to suffer. We live in a patriarchal world and this just has to change.

This subject isn’t only about women. Speaking up implies in many subjects. Racism still exists and people who say it doesn’t are just afraid to speak about it. They ignore it when it is there. I loved the postcast of Yoga Girl where she talked about white supremacy as I agree so much with it. It feels like an uncomfortable conversation but we have to talk about it and discuss it.

I don’t want the benefits of being a white person. I just want everyone in the world to be equal. I want them to have the same human rights. I want everyone have the same school and job opportunities. I don’t accept people of colour being rejected for a job. I have a good friend of Irak and I hear her stories. She had to leave her country because of war just like many people from Syria and other people from other countries are doing right now. I believe there has to be a good migration plan in every country. Some countries almost don’t accept immagration whereas other countries have an overflow. There has to be a better system for all where everyone feels comfortable, happy and equal.

Also I made this poem below for this blog post and also shared it on my Instagram Sea of words. I hope you will all like this poem. Being bullied made me scared and anxious to speak up. It made me be silenced. I still have a hard time to speak up but I’m learning it because it’s so important to do.

We have to speak up for the people who can’t speak up. I always love to see people speaking up about important topics such as mental health because it makes me feel less alone while struggling from anxiety. If we speak up about an important topic or issue it will make other people feel less alone. It also inspires other people to speak up and to make this world a better world to live in 🌍✨. Even if it makes us scared we have to speak up. Let’s do it all together! Yeahhh, we can do it! πŸ’ͺ

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope it all inspired you and you loved it. What do you think of speaking up about important topics? Do you also speak up in life? Are you afraid of speaking up and how do you deal with it? Let me know lovelies 😘 I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Reflection on 2018 & happy new year to you all! πŸŽ‰βœ¨πŸ’•πŸ’«

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Happy new year to you all! βœ¨πŸŽ‰ In this post I will talk about my 2018 and will show you how I celebrated New Year’s Eve. I’m glad I don’t have a cold amymore but just tonight I got my period so yeah that also sucks 😭 I’m glad I take medication for the cramps because otherwise I wouldn’t survive it. Besides, I’m also being anxious about my appointment of getting one of my wisdom teeth pulled out this week. I keep postponing the appointment. I know I have to do it but I’m so scared. H e l p. I also don’t want to do it in Holland. Here in Spain it’s much cheaper and the dentist understands my anxiety but I’m still so afraid and I just feel like I can’t cope. If anyone have some more tips to survive it I will be forever grateful πŸ™πŸ’• I can always take medication for anxiety if that’s enough to help me cope with it.


We are already in 2019. A year has flown by. As usually I want to reflect on my year with this post and also write some important things for you all. Every year has its ups and downs. Every year consists of good things and bad things which happen to us. The most important thing is how we react to all these things. I know how hard it’s to stay positive in this sometimes dark world. I just keep believing that there are so many good things in the world and that there are indeed so many good people. You just have to find your tribe. I’m so glad I did.

I’m so happy with my blogging community, mental health community, Yoga Girl community and the goddess revolution community. I’m thankful that I joined these communities this year. They made me feel less alone and so much happier. If I’m in Holland I will maybe go to a meet up with some yoga girls. I also really wish that we will continue to all be friends and hopefully one day we will all meet ✨ I know the universe brought us all together for a reason which is to be connected with awesome people, share our struggles and feel supported.

I learned a lot this year. I learn every day from this world. This year I realized that there are truly lovely people who care about you and want you to be happy. I learned that it’s better to have a few good friends than a million of fake friends. The ones who love you will always be there for you no matter what. I learned that true love exists when I saw my brother getting married in August in Spain. I learned that this life is an adventure. Sometimes we win and sometimes we loose. We learn from every experience. I also learned that it’s okay if I’m not where I want to be in life. I still have a long way to go. I will find a career I love and will keep growing. It all takes time, pacience and trust in myself. I have to love myself, believe in myself and know that I can make my dreams come true such as working and living in Spain ✨

I also went to my first feminist strike in Valladolid, in Spain on International Women’s Day on the 8th of March with my mother. This was such an empowerful event. I never went to a demonstration before. I really wish 2019 will be the year that less women will be suffering from violence. I wish that women and men have the same human rights. Together we are starting a revolution. This is just the beginning. 2019 will be the year where women can be themselves, love themselves and love each other πŸ’•

This year I also learned that music is the best thing in life 🎢 I would be lost without music. I went to so many amazing concerts such as the OperaciΓ³n Triunfo 2017 concert in Madrid with my friend Maria πŸ’• OperaciΓ³n Triunfo makes me so happy and full of life. I also enjoyed the concert of Pablo Alboran, Chenoa, Hombres G and Celtas Cortos with my mother in Valladolid. I also enjoyed so much the concert of Sofia Ellar with my friend Maria. I can’t wait to see her again. It was so lovely to meet Sofia and get a picture with her. She’s the best and I can’t wait to see her singing again 😍

This year I began to read again a lot which I loved to do so much when I was younger. I will continue reading this new year. I also kept writing and being creative. I hope to create more amazing content on this blog. Writing is amazing. I travelled to Madrid, Granada, Santander and Somo. I discovered Somo which is a beautiful surfing village in the north of Spain. In 2019 I really want to go to a surf camp again πŸ„β€β™€οΈπŸŒŠπŸŒž. I didn’t go surfing for more than two years. I miss it so much. It’s also so good for my mental health. The sea is my home and cleans my soul. The beach is my favourite place on this earth. I can’t wait to travel to more amazing places and meet more amazing people.

Somo, Santander (September 2018)


Granada, Andalucia (July 2018)


La RΓ‘bita, Mediterranean Sea, Granada (July 2018)


Madrid (March 2018)


Maybe for some of you this year was a hard year. Maybe some of you have lost someone close to you. Maybe you just didn’t felt okay and were struggling. I’m here for you. It’s okay to grief. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel sad. Feelings change and emotions change but it all takes time. Try to not be hard on yourself next year. Remember, I’ll will always be there for you πŸ’• I hope you will invest in self love and self care this new year because that’s the most important thing that matters. I also encourage you all to surround yourself with people who love you and who bring you only good vibes because you deserve that ✨.

I celebrated my New Year’s Eve in Valladolid, in Spain. I decided to not go out with my friends. I also didn’t go out last year. I used to party every year but I don’t feel in the mood anymore. I have to do what feels good to me. I went to the hairdressers in the afternoon to cut the dead ends, my bangs and they made curls in my hair. I love to look good for myself. I dressed up at home and did my make up. My mother and I went to the house of the mother of the wife of my brother. We celebrated all together New Year’s Eve: Rafael, my mother, VΓ©ronica, VΓ©ronica’s mother and her brother. We enjoyed eating delicious Spanish food.

We ate cheese, jamon serrano, chorizo, bread and chicken. I didn’t eat the fish because I don’t like fish so much haha πŸ˜‚ At 12 o’clock we watched the television and ate the 12 grapes. We also had champagne πŸ₯‚. It’s a tradition in Spain to eat the 12 grapes. They say it brings luck. We watched television where we were hearing beautiful music and we played Spanish card games. I really loved it so much. I love playing games with my family. At 3.30 am my mother and I went home and we stayed in watching some television. We went to bed at 6 am pretty late but doesn’t matter because it’s a special night. I’m glad I didn’t go out because as soon as we were home I got my period haha. On New Year’s Day we just stayed in and chilled. I saw the movie Grease. I just love that movie & the music so much 😍 I also saw the movie Paper Towns which I love so much from John Green. I already saw this movie with my best friend one day and loved it.

l wish you all an amazing new year full of love, happiness and luck πŸ€βœ¨βœŒοΈ Stay strong & stay safe. We are all in this together πŸ’ͺ I love you all so so so much ❀️. Thank you all for reading. How was your New Year’s Eve? Did you stay at home or did you went to a party? Which are your goals or dreams to achieve in 2019? I would love to know. I will speak to you all soon in my next blog post.


Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Feeling that I’m not honest & shocking news about Demi Lovato😒

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

Right now, I’m on my holiday in Granada and actually wasn’t going to plan a blog post. I’m on holidays and wanted to write after holidays and share my travel post. I will do that when I’m back. Today’s blog post is about the fact that I’m not honest with a friend.

So, everything was great yesterday as we had a big trip of 7 hours in the bus. Today we enjoyed eating great food and we saw some views and the beautiful city Granada. I even made a friend today. I will tell you about it in my next blog post. At 8 o’clock my mother and I went to my friend his house here in Granada. I already got a bit angry when I said fucking and he said don’t curse. I don’t like when someone says that I can’t do something. It’s my life you know. We are friends not lovers. My ex always said to me what I’ve to do and I hated it. He droved us to his house at the beach. Everything was allright by then I guess.

His father and mother said that there are jelly-fish in the sea. My friend said that he got biten once. I really don’t want to experience that. We didn’t go into the sea. We only walked and were just watching the beautiful sea. I was talking about a Spanish singer which lost his cat and that cat died and then he said okay and like he wanted to end the conversation and not talk about anything bad. So I was like okay. Then we talked about something else. Then suddenly he said: “Do you still take that pills”? He meant my antidepressants of course. I didn’t want to answer and said: “Which ones”? Then he said: “Those”. I don’t know why he didn’t said the words. I said: “Yes almost silently”. I felt like crying. He said: “okay” and talked about something else. I also lied about the fact that my sleep schedule is good again. It isn’t. I said we woke up at 10 today but my mother and I woke up at 12 πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I really sleept well last night in the hotel. I hope to get any sleep tonight but would be difficult. It’s so hot here in the room with my mother and there’s a baby from the neighbours screaming and crying 😑. I don’t want any kids lol every time I hear that. I hear the sounds of the waves, that’s making me peaceful.

You may think I’m 100% honest about suffering from anxiety, being a mental health advocate and taking antidpressants. I’m not. However, I always have been honest with this friend but I think he also don’t want to talk about negative things so I better don’t talk about it. I’m sorry I’m sometimes a negative person even though everybody thinks I’m happy all the time while I’m not. I cry a lot. Anxiety make me feel that way. I know it isn’t good to be honest. After that I felt so bad. I could feel in my heart racing and I could feel my body shaking and crying but I didn’t wanted to cry. I let some tears but I think he didn’t saw it. I turned my eyes all the time and looked to the stars.

I feel guilty for not being honest with a friend that I felt anxiety again and felt like crying. I just couldn’t. That left me feeling worse. I needed to cry so hard but I didn’t want to cry in front of him which I did a few years ago and never have a problem with that. Just sometimes I prefer to cry alone but I also cry easily in front of people. I don’t know why I couldn’t that moment.

It makes me feel so bad that I feel this way as I’m at the beach and have to be happy. I have to be happy?! Is that even normal what I’m saying? I don’t have to be happy all the time when I can’t. It hurts me to feel this way because I’m always happy at the beach but sometimes I also cried at the beach. The sea makes me emotional and sensitive if that makes sense. Maybe, I just need to clean my thoughts and emotions with the salt water. My period is due for friday and always the days before my period I’m always so sensitive and cry about everything and just for no reason. I feel that my tummy is hurting. I really want to swim in the ocean 😒 It’s been a year. I hope I can swim tommorow in the sea and will have to be careful for the jelly-fish of course.

Then we went back to the appartment with his parents and my mother and we ate delicious dinner. Then my friend also said that I had to eat more because I ate to little. Well, I just like to eat what I want. I had enough. I get anxious when someone says that to me. Just leave me alone. Then my mother began to talk after dinner about death and stuff. Yeah, like normal talks about life. I don’t know why that’s wrong. My friend just said okay and went to his room and closed the door. It feels like he can’t talk about hard stuff. I don’t know what it’s. It’s pretty strange.

I don’t know. I just feel that I’m rambling about everything at once. I also feels this way because it hits me hard the news of Demi Lovato. This is what I wrote last night on my Instagram of @seaofwordsblog.

I got in shock when I heard the news tonight that @ddlovato took an overdose and ended in a hospital of Los Angeles 😭 The media said that they found her unconscious and treated her with Naloxone, an anti-overdose medicine, after possibly taking narcotics. This is really so sad news. The good news is that she is alert again, breathing and in a stable condition.

She struggled with addiction of drugs and alcoholism in the past. She battles with bipolar disorder and bulimia. This is often documented in her music. She have helped so many people battling with their own struggles and mental health illnesses. She helped me too with having anxiety. Her lyrics and music is so good. She’s just 25 years old like me. So young. She has a beautiful life ahead. She’s one of my favourite singers ever. I hope to go to a concert once she has recovered. Her music mean so much to me. She’s such a sweet, lovely and such a beautiful person ❀❀❀

I wish Demi really the best. I love the quotes from this collage which I found. This is just so true. Just because someone smiles doesn’t mean they are happy or that they aren’t struggling. Demi Lovato is a famous person and just because she is famous doesn’t have to mean that her life is all perfect. You don’t have to be strong all the time Demi. I know you are so strong but I really do hope you get the help you need. You deserve that so much πŸ’•

Your friends, family and fans will never ever leave you behind. We’re here for you. We love you. We wish that you get well soon. Take all the time you need to recover. I know it will be a hard battle but not impossible. You can do it πŸ’ͺ We are all warriors like your song says ❀

This message is for Demi and for anyone who’s struggling right now in silence. I hope you get the helo you need. Remember, you are not alone. You are loved. We are all in this together πŸ’ͺ❀ We are all lights in the universe even though it may can seem all dark. We will shine into the darkness and find that light again. We will be okay again. Trust me, we will. It will take time but we can get there. I love you all and stay safe πŸ’•

I hope that I can find the light too again. I really want to be honest with others as I’m with myself. I’m so sorry if I can’t be that today. Tomorrow will be another day. If anyone have some advice then it would be helpful. I’m sorry if this blog post got nowhere. I just needed to write this here. Writing is such a beautiful way of healing and processing emotion. I also love to sing and let everything out. I can be okay too and I hope Demi Lovato and all others who are suffering now can be okay too. I just cried in my room and my mother is sleeping and feel a bit better. When I need to cry I have to cry. Letting everything in will only make me feel worse.

Thank you all for reading this messy blog post. I hope you can all understand me. I love you all so much and thank you all for being there for me. This is my outlet for everything that I can’t say out loud but can in writing.

I love you all so much πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Crying is not a sign of weaknessΒ 

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’ž,

Today I wanna talk about a subject which I can relate to in so many ways. Today I wanna talk about crying and why crying is not a sign of weakness but a beautiful strength. I really do think crying is such a beautiful emotion. We are born with this emotion. The moment we are born, we cry. It’s a sign of being alive and letting everything out. 

I’m a highly sensitive person. Highly sensitive persons have nervous systems that are more sensitive than others and they process things more deeply. In other words, they feel more and love more. About 20% of the population has this personality trait. I just feel every emotion way more intense than people who aren’t highly sensitive. I love more but I also suffer way more intensly. This can feel sometimes so overwhelming. That’s why crying helps me to release emotions so much. It’s a way of letting all the things which I have been holding on to for so long out of my body. Just let it all go.

However, people can be so mean and judge people when they are crying all the time. I know, I cry so much all the time but I can’t help it. It’s the just the way I’m made. During high school when I got bullied, people used to call me cry baby and being childish. This really hurt me because I can’t change it. Now, I don’t care anymore if people would say that to me because I’m always being my authentic self and crying is part of me. If you don’t like that I’m crying and judge me for being senstive, then I guess we aren’t gonna be friends.

I also dislike people who say girls can only cry and if boys cry it’s weird and blahblahblah. Boys can cry too. Boys are human beings and have emotions too, remember?! They don’t have to feel ashamed when they are crying. They don’t have to be the strong man who never cries. That’s bullshit. Be a real man and cry because you deserve to let it all out. Your feelings are valid and real. You deserve to be treated with respect.

I also can’t stand people who just assume that someone who is crying is just overreacting and is seeking for attention. Hell yeah, I’m crying because someone has died or because I got a bad mark for an exam and you think I’m seeking attention?! Just fuck off man. Well, maybe the one who is crying is holding everything to theirselves and just want someone who cares about them and won’t judge them for once.

Crying isn’t a sign of weakness. Crying is a sign of strength because you have been holding all your feelings to yourself instead of letting them out. Crying release all the pain, struggles and tense you have been feeling for so long. I think crying is one of the best emotions ever. You cry and suddenly you feel so much lighter. It’s just an amazing feeling. Sometimes a good cry can help you to feel better again and have a more clearer view in life.

I also think crying of happiness is such a weird and beautiful thing. I had times in my life where I was so happy that I had to cry like at the wedding of my brother Edward. It was just such an amazing and beautiful moment that I was feeling so emotional and so happy that I had to cry. Do you also had a moment in your life where you cried of happiness? I would love to know it in my comment section.

When I felt really bad anxiety I cried and sometimes it really helped me to feel better again. I had times in life where I woke up crying and went to bed crying and spend the whole day crying. Those were really bad times where crying didn’t help me but made me feel even more miserable. That was because of high anxiety which made me feel so bad and depressed. Fortunately, thanks to taking my antidepressants I don’t have that anymore. I cry less and when I cry it helps me release my emotions and not making me feel worse. I feel better when I have had a good cry because aaaarghhh it just feel so good to let all your emotions out of your body with crying. Tears taste as salt like the sea. They say that salt helps you to release pain and it’s just so true. 

So, if you need to cry, have a good cry ❀ You are not being weak. You are so strong for holding everything to yourself. Break the walls and cry. Let it all go. You deserve to feel lighter and happy again. You don’t have to hold everything to yourself. You are going to be okay again. Every tear which is falling right now will make you a stronger and better person. You don’t have to be okay and strong all the time. Let it all go and find peace in your heart. The universe has your back πŸ’«β­

And remember, we are all in this together πŸ’ž

I love you all πŸ’œπŸ’œ

xoxo Christina

Your feelings are valid and temporary πŸ’•πŸ’«

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

I just feel the need to write about this. Writing is healing. I feel bad these days because I’m afraid of my future. The transition from college life to real life just feels so strange and empty. I don’t know how I could cope working full time while having anxiety. I feel like I have a lot of dreams in my life like that I want to fight for human rights, end the stigma of mental health illnesses, fight for equal rights for women and men, create a community and travel the world. At the same time, I feel like I don’t know what to do with my life and feel anxious and don’t know how to make it all happen.

Today I woke up crying and feeling just so bad. I want to stay authentic and honest in my blog posts. I always want to share what I’m feeling and thinking. I think that’s the best way to connect with other people and make me feel better again.

I love this quote and picture so much β€β›΅πŸ„ . This perfectly describes how I’m feeling right now.

People may think I just don’t try hard enough or call me lazy, but trust me to have a mental health illness like anxiety make you feel this way. I get nauseous, anxious, dizzy, headaches and have a fucked up sleep routine again 😒😒😒 I really do hope I can change my sleep routine again. 

To anybody suffering or struggling right now, tell yourself that your feelings are valid. You are not alone. You have the right to own your feeling even when people think it’s not logic. We all feel the same things just not at the same time. We are all human. The only way to heal yourself is to feel that feeling, talk about it with your loved ones and tell yourself that all what you are feeling right now is temporary πŸ’« .

I tell myself that all that I’m feeling right now is temporary. I will find a job which I love and make everything work out in my life. Things just take time. It’s okay to feel lost. Life has its ups and downs. It’s normal to feel anxious about big life changes. Maybe the universe is launching me to something really big but I have to be prepared for it and take action. Maybe I’m going to take a part time job and do a Spanish course. I don’t have to jump straight into some big if I’m scared. I can take little babysteps. I just have to follow my heart. I don’t have to have my life figured out yet. I’m just 24 years and still so young. It’s just the rush of society which makes me feel like I should have my life together when I clearly don’t have any clue. Everything will fall into place eventually. 

I loved the picture also because of the surfing girl. I can’t wait to travel again to the beaches and surf again. It makes me feel so free. I’m a beach girl and the ocean is my favourite place on this earth. Surfing the waves is like surfing the way through your feelings. You have to feel it all in order to move on with your life. If we feel our feelings we can easier let them go then if we don’t sit with them. 

We are here to feel it all and eventually everything will be okay even if it’s not okay right now β€πŸ’œπŸ’•

Much love,


To be vulnerable will set you free in life πŸ’•πŸ’«

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I will share with you a little story about this inspiring quote. I hope you will like it 😘

It’s hard to be vulnerable in a fake world, isn’t it? We all share our best pictures on social media to make us look like we live the perfect life, to make us look like we have no problems in life and to just create the feeling that we are always happy when we in fact aren’t.

None of this is true. We don’t have a perfect life. There will be always hard times and obstacles in life we have to face. Everybody experience bad emotions and problems; from a loss of a loved one, ending relationships, to mental health issues or money/job related problems. We all have them but we just are afraid to share all those things.

Since I shared my feelings, my experiences in life and that I suffer from anxiety in life I feel not fake anymore. I think that in hard times you can connect with people and build a community.

Like now, there are so many nature disasters happening around the world. It is in those hard times that we find the right people to connect with and to build bridges with. I pray for all those people in need πŸ™ .

You don’t have to face a problem on your own. Share it with a friend, a familiar, a doctor, just anybody who make you feel safe. Being vulnerable can be terrifying. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable. Trust me, I have been there. However, I have learned that being a highly sensitive person is a blessing. Being vulnerable and pouring your heart out can set you free πŸ’« .

We need more people on this earth who are willing to be vulnerable and share their feelings and thoughts. We can help those people in need and connect with them. In this way, we can make this world a better place; a place where honesty and authenticity exists, a place where fake no longer exists πŸŒπŸ’•

Much love,