5 surfers died doing what they loved to do the most in The North Sea πŸ˜’πŸ’”πŸ‡³πŸ‡±

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I wanted to write a more happy blog post but I just can’t. I have to always write what’s on my mind. Right now, I feel so much loss and I am so sad. I feel heartbroken πŸ’”. I cried this whole week SO much. I will talk about the tragedy which happened on Monday afternoon in the beach Scheveningen πŸŒŠπŸ‡³πŸ‡±πŸ˜’. 5 surfers died doing what they loved to do the most. I also wrote a poem abou it which I will let you see below. This is also my 200th post on my blog which I’m proud about but today’s blog post is something more important. Some people will maybe not understand me but I can grief so hard for people I don’t know. I’m a sensitive person and an empath. That’s how I live my life now and forever. I will not change that for anyone if you like it or not.

On Monday afternoon in Scheveningen at 7 o’clock a group of surfers came in problems. There was a strong wind and current. They didn’t surf near to the port because it’s more dangerous there. They know the sea so well because they were experienced and even life guards. They found the two bodies on Monday and the other two on Tuesday. They are still searching for the fifth body. Even the rescue team had problems in finding them. Some people were saved, a man who was 40 years old and other people. A friend of them was saved. They were all from the regio of The Hague. The ones who died were between 20 and 30 years old. It’s so heartbreaking that the sea took their lives. It was even on the news of the World Surf League which is the association of surfing professionals. They died suffocated in the foam. This is very strange because that doesn’t happen often. Now they will further investigate it. I hate when people say it’s their fault. I find it disrespectful when people say that. The rescue team in The Netherlands saved one person who also had a baby, a family together. That person was friends with the ones who died. I wouldn’t know how to cope when I know my best friends died but I got saved. I think it must be so heartbreaking.

I know surfing is sometimes a risky sport but surfers know that. I love surfing and even made my thesis about surfing for graduating college. I wrote about the surf brand O’Neill and the surfing lifestyle. I love to live that lifestyle like all surfers are living that. It means to enjoy the sea, having respect for nature, for the environment and for every living being. I’m a beginner surfer by heart. The sea is my home. I also surfed on the beach of Scheveningen many times. It makes me the most happy person ever. Even though I’m not good at catching waves yet, I have fun and feel the most alive on my surfboard. They died doing what they loved to do. I just don’t think there’s anything poetic about that because it must be a horrible death being drowned by the sea. I’m so sorry for them 😒. I think they suffered a lot and did all they could to be saved. Since I heard the news I couldn’t stop crying. I wrote a poem about what happened. It’s also on my poetry account on Instagram. I can’t think of anything else right now.

The wild sea

I love the sea

It’s my favourite place in the world

I love to hear the waves crashing to the shore


I love to smell the salty air


I love to feel the wind in my face


I love the taste of the salt sea


I love to see the waves


What I love the most of surving


Is the feeling of being alive


It makes me so happy


At the same time the sea scares me


Last night a tragedy happened in Scheveningen


5 experienced body surfers lost their lives


The wind & the big waves took their lives


How can nature be so cruel?


How can be something so beautiful at the same time kill people?


It’s mother nature at their wildest


I spent the day crying


I don’t know you but I feel the losses in my heart


Being an empath and highly sensitive person makes you grief people you don’t even know

I’m so sorry Joost, Sander, Pim, Max and Matthijs

The sea took your life


May you rest in peace


You were all too young


You died doing what you loved to do


We are mourning the losses


The sky is crying with you


You are all an inspiration for us

You will not forgotten

I send all my love to the friends and family


You are all loved

The surfing community will always be there for each other

We will stick together

Love you
πŸ’•

A sea of words

I hope you all liked my poem. The picture is from someone on Instagram. I love to see sunsets on the beach. They are the most magical ever. I truly believe these heroes are somewhere there watching us from above. We will continue surfing remembering them. I just always have to write a poem when a tragedy happens, especially one so close to home. Scheveningen is a place I come often to surf, chill and enjoy the beach. It’s close to The Hague where I went to college to. I often celebrate my birthday at the surf school Hart Beach. These men were from another surf school but they were all surf teachers and know the sea very well. They know the dangers. The meters of foam happened suddenly when they were body surfing. I love the community of surfers so much. They are all so lovely and connected with each other. I have some friends who surfed with me but I would love to find more people who could surf with me. Sometimes I was also thinking to get a job in the surf industry. It would be so amazing! Caring about the environment, enjoying nature and loving the sea is everything I stand for in life. I know some of my studies live there and are also heartbroken about the news. Also one girl from my studies know some people who have died. She’s a professional surfer who surfed with them too.

It’s so sad that life can be over in just one second. We never know when will be the last day we are living. We never know when we will die. It terrifies me but at the same time it also makes me think that I want to live the life of my dreams. I would love to learn to be able to surf well and catch some good waves. It makes me feel alive, happy and feel less anxious. The sea cures everything but sometimes it’s a monster which takes people. I always have much respect for the sea. It’s mother nature at it’s wildest 🌊. We can learn how to surf the waves but we can’t go against the sea. The sea will always be stronger than us at the end. Nature will always be stronger than human beings and can destroy us whenever we least except it, thinking of natural disasters such as earthquakes or tsunami’s. We really have to care more about mother nature. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world and also sometimes the scariest thing ever 😒. We have absolutely no control of it.

Today, our hearts go out to the 5 families and friends of the people we lost in Scheveningen yesterday. The 5 surfers where body surfing and were experienced. They didn’t come home after their session. Even though I don’t know them I feel this loss so deeply. I am an empath and highly sensitive person and always feel everything so deeply. I don’t have to know someone personally to feel what others are going through. I can feel their feelings so deeply. This is the prize I take for feeling so much. I also suffer so much too. I don’t know how I would cope when someone I know dies. This is a black day for the Dutch surf community and we wish all who are involved the strength to deal with this loss πŸ˜’πŸŒŠπŸ™πŸ„πŸ‡³πŸ‡±. We are all mourning their losses. The sea is so wild and strong. It takes and gives. I am here for you all. Sending you all my love and strength πŸ’•πŸ™. I hope this poem made you feel less alone in mourning their grief.

Always when something like this happen I would love to help other people and be of service. I know I can’t make the death surfers come back into life. I wish that power would exist. If I lived near to Scheveningen I would bring flowers to the surf school. Everyone is doing that and they are griefing all together around the place where the tragedy happened. Maybe, I’m going to sent the surf school a card and flowers letting them know they aren’t alone in their pain. The families and friends need to grief right now and need their privacy. I also am going to donate money for the KNRM which is the The Royal Netherlands Sea Rescue Institution. They are always rescuing people and it’s important to donate money even though you may not have much money. You can donate on this website: KNRM.

This is a beautiful poem I found on Instagram. It sounds better in Dutch of course but I loved it.

”If mermen really existed,
at home on the coast and could go as fishes through the water
then they were named surfers
and everyone in Scheveningen would know that
the sea belongs to them and they belong to the sea
her waves took the men forever with her.”

Thank you all for reading this heartbreaking but necessary blog post. It was my 200th blog post. I just had to write about this tragedy. What do you think of my poem? Are you a sea lover? Does the sea scares you? Does anything similiar happened in your country? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Coronavirus: Is this a wake up call for the world?! πŸŒ

Hola lovelies πŸ’•,

I know all we can talk about now in the world is the coronavirus (Covid-19). I wanted to post a blog post about some happy stuff such as some book reviews but I really need to talk about this. I have to describe my feelings and thoughts on it as I always do with important topics such as mental health, feminism, injustice in the world and other topics. I need to let my thoughts go and write it down here or I will feel that I explode πŸ˜₯. My mind is so full these days. I’m not doing okay.

So, I can’t sleep well anymore. I feel so bad and anxious. I’m crying every day 😒. I don’t know how to cope. I have cramps in my stomach. It’s in times I didn’t felt so bad. This virus only increased my anxiety. How can I feel less anxious when the situation is getting worse every day and people are dying? I feel hopeless. There’s an outbreak of a pandemic in the world right now. The coronavirus feels like the flu but it’s worse because you have fever, cough and it effects your lungs. It all began in China in December. They eat a lot of strange food there such as living animals such as cats, dogs and whatever. My daddy said that the virus comes from bats. I’m of course not a doctor and don’t know much about viruses but all we know is that it’s spreading to every country. If I’m affected I could infect three other people.

I have sometimes health anxiety so I’m also a bit worried to get this virus to be honest. I think it’s normal that we are worried because our health is the most important thing in life. What I’m also worried about is the people who are vulnerable and the elderly people. My father for example has diabetics so it could be dangerous for him. What I don’t like about what’s happening now is that many people especially young people think oh only the old people die or the sick ones. That’s being so EGOISTIC. Writing this I feel tears in my eyes coming because I CARE. I care sometimes way too much about people, this earth and everyone because of being a highly sensitive person and also suffering from anxiety. I care about someone dying being 75 years old of coronavirus even though I don’t know that person. It could be your father, daughter, grandmother. Every one deserves a good life and deserves to live and be treaten well πŸ’–πŸ™.

Everything is cancelled right now 🚫. In The Netherlands there are no concerts, theater, cinema, sport events happening anymore and all schools are closed. I’m worried about that Eurovision in May will be cancelled too. I hope to go another day. I was so happy when this year began because of this event and good stuff. I’m worried about my friends in Italy being locked down. Spain has now declared an emergency state. I’m worried about my family and friends there. They only can leave the house for meds, work or to go to the supermarket. My mother and I are supposed to go in two weeks but that isn’t possible anymore. Tonight they closed the borders. It makes me sad to not be able to go as we never experienced this. None of us does. It feels lik a movie but it’s happening and it’s real. Scary stuff 😒. I just hope we can enjoy Summer time 🌞 in Spain because otherwise I will get so depressed and anxious. I don’t like Summer in The Netherlands because the sun doesn’t shine that much. I’m just always so happy in Spain. Holy week in Spain is cancelled too. I would have to go to the dentist in Spain too but right now it isn’t an emegerncy as I have no pain.

I’m a highly sensitive person, an empath and suffer from anxiety. This is maybe not the best combination in the midst of the Coronavirus. I care always so much about others and everything that it all affects me emotionally. I suffer more but I also love more. I’m here for all the ones in need. You can always talk to me. We are not alone πŸ’ͺ We are all in this together.

I just got inspired to write this post too because of Melissa Wells. Maybe everything what’s happening now is a wake up call for the damn world. Care about the elderly. Help people in need. Think of the ones working in the hospital sector and supermarkts. I’m seeing also very good deeds this week such as people donating blood in Spain for the people who need it. Doctors from China are helping Italy and Spain with medical products. The supermarkets are almost empty here and also in the rest of the world. I don’t find that at all funny. Maybe this pandemic virus is a wake up call for the world like that we have to be more compassionate, less egostic and think of others. Don’t buy so much stuff in the supermarkets because then someone else can’t buy toilet paper or hand gel or food. Think more of others than of yourself.

All people think of nowadays is me, myself and I. It’s the wrong way. We are all human and we all long for the same things such as food security, love, safety and being healthy. I also feel that this lack of control and uncertainty is making me more anxious. All governments and society thinks about is money and power. I’m a hippie by heart and just never feel like I approve with the society we are living in. Maybe more people feel that way.

Citizens have to be responsible for their actions too. In Italy and Spain they aren’t allowed to go outside or have fun with friends in some bar. Take these measures seriously. Many young people can’t die from it, but if you do get infected you can make others infected like people who are in a vulnerable state or older people. Your actions could be the death of someone else. Buy responsibly πŸ›’. My mother wanted to buy paracetamol today and saw everyone being greedy and getting them. That isn’t the way to handle things in life. I saw a picture where Italy has almost no pollution in the air and is clear. You see, we can fight climate change all together πŸ’ͺπŸ€—. I saw people donating loads of blood in Spain. Good things happen every day. We can all make a change in this world.

I will stay mostly at home now. It’s time to slow down. It’s time to help others and not think of me, myself and I. Let’s be compassionate, solidair and less egoistic. Follow the health instructions. Don’t buy everything you see in the supermarkets because then there will be nothing left for others. We have to be all strong together and help each other. We are all in this together. I’m also anxious right now but I hope this situation will be solved as long as we take all measures seriously. Wash your hands well and focus less on social media. I also have to watch less news as that only increase my anxiety and doesn’t solve anything. We will see what will happening the coming days. Stay safe at home 🏑, read books πŸ“š, blog, watch series and movies 🎬, or listen to podcasts. There are so many nice things to do at home. We don’t always have to be outside to have fun.

It’s time that countries work together with each other to combate this pandemic of Coronavirus. We are all together in this. 2020 is the year that will change our view of the world because of this health crisis. We will make it out stronger and hopefully we will learn to be more responsible for this earth and for all its people πŸŒπŸ’•.

At the end, everything will be allright. Take care, stay safe and love because that will never be cancelled πŸ’–πŸ’‹πŸ€—βœ¨I’m here for you all. I love you all so much!

Thank you all for reading this important blog post. I hope it didn’t sound depressing. I just wanted to share the good and the bad like always. How do you feel about the Coronavirus? Are you anxious? How’s it in your country? What do you do to calm yourself down? I really need some support right now. Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Reflection on 2018 & happy new year to you all! πŸŽ‰βœ¨πŸ’•πŸ’«

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Happy new year to you all! βœ¨πŸŽ‰ In this post I will talk about my 2018 and will show you how I celebrated New Year’s Eve. I’m glad I don’t have a cold amymore but just tonight I got my period so yeah that also sucks 😭 I’m glad I take medication for the cramps because otherwise I wouldn’t survive it. Besides, I’m also being anxious about my appointment of getting one of my wisdom teeth pulled out this week. I keep postponing the appointment. I know I have to do it but I’m so scared. H e l p. I also don’t want to do it in Holland. Here in Spain it’s much cheaper and the dentist understands my anxiety but I’m still so afraid and I just feel like I can’t cope. If anyone have some more tips to survive it I will be forever grateful πŸ™πŸ’• I can always take medication for anxiety if that’s enough to help me cope with it.

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We are already in 2019. A year has flown by. As usually I want to reflect on my year with this post and also write some important things for you all. Every year has its ups and downs. Every year consists of good things and bad things which happen to us. The most important thing is how we react to all these things. I know how hard it’s to stay positive in this sometimes dark world. I just keep believing that there are so many good things in the world and that there are indeed so many good people. You just have to find your tribe. I’m so glad I did.

I’m so happy with my blogging community, mental health community, Yoga Girl community and the goddess revolution community. I’m thankful that I joined these communities this year. They made me feel less alone and so much happier. If I’m in Holland I will maybe go to a meet up with some yoga girls. I also really wish that we will continue to all be friends and hopefully one day we will all meet ✨ I know the universe brought us all together for a reason which is to be connected with awesome people, share our struggles and feel supported.

I learned a lot this year. I learn every day from this world. This year I realized that there are truly lovely people who care about you and want you to be happy. I learned that it’s better to have a few good friends than a million of fake friends. The ones who love you will always be there for you no matter what. I learned that true love exists when I saw my brother getting married in August in Spain. I learned that this life is an adventure. Sometimes we win and sometimes we loose. We learn from every experience. I also learned that it’s okay if I’m not where I want to be in life. I still have a long way to go. I will find a career I love and will keep growing. It all takes time, pacience and trust in myself. I have to love myself, believe in myself and know that I can make my dreams come true such as working and living in Spain ✨

I also went to my first feminist strike in Valladolid, in Spain on International Women’s Day on the 8th of March with my mother. This was such an empowerful event. I never went to a demonstration before. I really wish 2019 will be the year that less women will be suffering from violence. I wish that women and men have the same human rights. Together we are starting a revolution. This is just the beginning. 2019 will be the year where women can be themselves, love themselves and love each other πŸ’•

This year I also learned that music is the best thing in life 🎢 I would be lost without music. I went to so many amazing concerts such as the OperaciΓ³n Triunfo 2017 concert in Madrid with my friend Maria πŸ’• OperaciΓ³n Triunfo makes me so happy and full of life. I also enjoyed the concert of Pablo Alboran, Chenoa, Hombres G and Celtas Cortos with my mother in Valladolid. I also enjoyed so much the concert of Sofia Ellar with my friend Maria. I can’t wait to see her again. It was so lovely to meet Sofia and get a picture with her. She’s the best and I can’t wait to see her singing again 😍

This year I began to read again a lot which I loved to do so much when I was younger. I will continue reading this new year. I also kept writing and being creative. I hope to create more amazing content on this blog. Writing is amazing. I travelled to Madrid, Granada, Santander and Somo. I discovered Somo which is a beautiful surfing village in the north of Spain. In 2019 I really want to go to a surf camp again πŸ„β€β™€οΈπŸŒŠπŸŒž. I didn’t go surfing for more than two years. I miss it so much. It’s also so good for my mental health. The sea is my home and cleans my soul. The beach is my favourite place on this earth. I can’t wait to travel to more amazing places and meet more amazing people.

Somo, Santander (September 2018)

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Granada, Andalucia (July 2018)

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La RΓ‘bita, Mediterranean Sea, Granada (July 2018)

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Madrid (March 2018)

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Maybe for some of you this year was a hard year. Maybe some of you have lost someone close to you. Maybe you just didn’t felt okay and were struggling. I’m here for you. It’s okay to grief. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel sad. Feelings change and emotions change but it all takes time. Try to not be hard on yourself next year. Remember, I’ll will always be there for you πŸ’• I hope you will invest in self love and self care this new year because that’s the most important thing that matters. I also encourage you all to surround yourself with people who love you and who bring you only good vibes because you deserve that ✨.

I celebrated my New Year’s Eve in Valladolid, in Spain. I decided to not go out with my friends. I also didn’t go out last year. I used to party every year but I don’t feel in the mood anymore. I have to do what feels good to me. I went to the hairdressers in the afternoon to cut the dead ends, my bangs and they made curls in my hair. I love to look good for myself. I dressed up at home and did my make up. My mother and I went to the house of the mother of the wife of my brother. We celebrated all together New Year’s Eve: Rafael, my mother, VΓ©ronica, VΓ©ronica’s mother and her brother. We enjoyed eating delicious Spanish food.

We ate cheese, jamon serrano, chorizo, bread and chicken. I didn’t eat the fish because I don’t like fish so much haha πŸ˜‚ At 12 o’clock we watched the television and ate the 12 grapes. We also had champagne πŸ₯‚. It’s a tradition in Spain to eat the 12 grapes. They say it brings luck. We watched television where we were hearing beautiful music and we played Spanish card games. I really loved it so much. I love playing games with my family. At 3.30 am my mother and I went home and we stayed in watching some television. We went to bed at 6 am pretty late but doesn’t matter because it’s a special night. I’m glad I didn’t go out because as soon as we were home I got my period haha. On New Year’s Day we just stayed in and chilled. I saw the movie Grease. I just love that movie & the music so much 😍 I also saw the movie Paper Towns which I love so much from John Green. I already saw this movie with my best friend one day and loved it.

l wish you all an amazing new year full of love, happiness and luck πŸ€βœ¨βœŒοΈ Stay strong & stay safe. We are all in this together πŸ’ͺ I love you all so so so much ❀️. Thank you all for reading. How was your New Year’s Eve? Did you stay at home or did you went to a party? Which are your goals or dreams to achieve in 2019? I would love to know. I will speak to you all soon in my next blog post.

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Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

10 reasons why I love December πŸ˜πŸŽ„

Hello lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

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YEAHHHH ASDFGHJKL it’s December and I’m so happy that it’s finally December! It’s my favourite month of the year. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right? I find December so special because it’s all about celebrating Christmas and New Year’s Eve with your loved ones and spread love and happiness in the world. This sometimes dark world needs that so much. Especially during that time we have to give more love to those who need it the most.

I’m gonna share now my 10 reasons why I love December so much! πŸ˜€ I hope you all agree and if you wanna add something, just write a comment below πŸ™‚ I would love to hear the things you love about this special month: DECEMBER.

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  1. Christmas lights

I think this is one of my favourite things of December. Everywhere you go you see Christmas lights. It’s getting darker and winter is coming. However, all those lights really light up my life and increase my happiness. I love it so much. I have lights in my room too. It’s just makes everything more cozy. I find it so nice to go shopping, to go to a restaurant or go outside and see all those Christmas lights around me. Christmas lights are everywhere. Gotta love it! ❀

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  1. Christmas songs and movies 

I’m so in love with Christmas movies. I love to watch Christmas movies and drink a hot  chocolate with cream or a cup of tea. My favourite Christmas movie is Love Actually. It’s a beautiful movie and all about Christmas and love. My favourite things in life! ❀ I also love the actors. It’s just such a cute movie. I also like the song “Christmas is all around us” in this movie. It’s just so funny! If you never watched this movie, you definitely should watch it πŸ™‚ I also love the movies Home Alone and The Holiday. What’s your favourite Christmas movie? I would love to know. I also love to hear Christmas songs. They makes me feel so happy. My favourite songs are “All I  want for Christmas is you” – Mariah Carey and “Last Christmas” – Wham! 

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  1. Christmas decorations

I love Christmas and its decorations so much. My mother is really obsessed about it too  haha. We have our home in Spain and in The Netherlands always decorated. I really like to  chill in the living room with the Christmas tree and its lights on. It just creates such a  nice and cozy feeling. Its the perfect ambiance. I also love the Christmas decorations  outside and just anywhere you go. It really increase that Christmas spirit.

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  1. Celebrations with your family and friends

This is an important reason why I love December so much. I love to have celebrations with my family and good friends. I love to celebrate Christmas with my family. This is  just such a beautiful time to spend extra time with your loved ones. I didn’t see some good  friends for almost a half year and one of my brothers a year ago because I live in Spain right now. This is the perfect time to see each other again and spread the love. I always celebrate Christmas in The Netherlands at home with my family. I always celebrate New Year’s Eve in Spain with my family. In Spain it’s a tradition to eat 12 grapes at 12 o’clock on NYE. We watch this tradition on the Spanish television. Afterwards, I always go out and celebrate New Year’s Eve with my good friends here in Spain.c45e97fb688cb6b3c83047cf35e0f60e.jpg

  1. Christmas cards

I love to write Christmas cards. I always write a lot of Christmas cards haha this year I wrote again 45 Christmas cards, which includes my dear family and good friends. I love to get Christmas cards. I love handwritten letters in general so much. It means the world to get them. This year I also draw some Christmas cards on my own. I hang all those Christmas cards in my room. Here’s a picture of some cards I draw and wrote this year.

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  1. Presents

I’m not in favor of luxery gifts such as really expensive gifts because it makes me feel spoiled. I find that Christmas sometimes is only about spending much money on expensive gifts and luxery food. I’m always thinking about the people who don’t have that much to spend or children in war. I prefer small gifts and things I really need. Maybe, I’m gonna make a blog post about the gifts I will get this Christmas. I really love to get presents but just little things and cheap things. They makes me so happy! πŸ™‚ Some gift wishes for me this year are a calendar for my room from New York City and a cinema light box. I really want a cinema light box since so long. It will look amazing in my room here in Spain. It’s a box with letters and lights. I also want a bucketlist calendar for my room which looks really cool with quotes and everyday there will be an awesome thing that you can do. I’m so excited for the presents which I will get this year under the Christmas tree!

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  1. Food/drinks

I love the food and drinks in December. I don’t love to eat so much that I get nauseous. I just love to eat little things and enough. In Spain, many people eat way tooo much omg like I don’t know how they will not throw up ugghh xD. I don’t like too much, just enough is good for me πŸ™‚ I love the cookies, sweets and chocolate. My favourite drinks during the cold months is definitely tea and hot chocolate. I love the brand name yogi tea where you can find a quote full of happiness and wisdom ❀ I also love a hot choolate so much. I make them at home with cream and marshmallows mmm ❀ This is my favourite cup of hot chocolate with xoxo. That reminds me of one of my favourite series Gossip Girl haha.

Here’s a picture of a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows which I made a few days ago in my favourite cup xoxo.

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I also love to have my favourite Christmas blanket and advent calendar! I got this calendar from my mommy. It’s always a tradition for me to eat a chocolate every day until Christmas. Every day it’s a different form and has something to do with Christmas πŸŽ„πŸŽ… December begins for me with the advent calendar! I love it haha. It really makes me feel like a child again, so happy and excited πŸ˜πŸ˜‚ . What’s your favourite Christmas tradition? πŸ’­

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  1. Christmas spirit

I think I never mentioned this on my blog before but I’m catholic. Many people forget that  Christmas is celebrating the birth of Jesus. I used to sing in a choir for 11 years. I always had to sing on Christmas eve and at night. It was really so beautiful to sing all those wonderful Christmas carols. I believe in god and I believe that there’s something more. Sometimes I find it hard to believe because there is so much cruelty and war in this world. There are still good people out there even though it sometimes is a dark world. For me, the Christmas spirit isn’t getting the most luxery gifts or eat so much that you will explode. The Christmas spirit is all about giving love to your loved ones and be there for all the people in need.

5 years ago my first love broke up with me and I felt horrible. I felt so sad. I still get sad sometimes with Christmas because it reminds me of that time. I’m forever blessed to have an amazing family and good friends who are always there for me to cheer me up and make me happy. There are many people who feel lonely and sad with Christmas. There are many people suffering with a mental illness, like myself with anxiety, or any other illness or even commit suicide around this time. I would like to think of that people and be there for somebody in need. I always think of the refugees and people who are suffering during a war too. This makes me realise how grateful I have to be for all the things I have in my life. It’s a time of reflection and giving thanks to all the things you have in your life while others don’t have that. We should never take that for granted.

“Serious Request is a family of annual multiday, multimedia fundraising events for International Red Cross initiatives, typically hosted by radio stations in the week before Christmas. During the Dutch 3FM Serious Request, three popular Radio DJs are locked up for six days in a small temporary radio studio (the “Glass House”), placed in a main square in a different city each year. Living on a juice-only fast, the DJs make a interactive, themed broadcast around the clock, while regular programming on the station is suspended. Funds are raised in a few different ways. While the DJs are in residence, they play songs requested by listeners and visitors, in return for their donations. Straightforward donations are made into the project’s bankaccount, and by physical vistors depositing cash and cheques into the house’s letterbox.”

I love this event in The Netherlands so much. Every year it’s a different project. I always ask for a song and donate money. I find it important to donate money to a charity especially around Christmas because I know there are a lot of people who need help and support. I hope you all think of something and help those people in need. They need your support and love! ❀

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  1. Snow

I’m always celebrating Christmas in The Netherlands. It doesn’t snow in the winters months like years before. I don’t like the cold but I love the snow haha pretty strange xD I love a snow landscape so much. I used to take a lot of pictures because it looks just so wonderful and beautiful and omg I’m in just so in love with winter wonderland. The best Christmas feeling is waking up on Christmas day with snow! The best Christmas feeling is a white Christmas! ❀ I really hope that this Christmas it will snow again in The Netherlands. Let’s pray for the best hahah! Who else love snow on Christmas day?

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  1. Lettings things go and new beginnings

I’m also one of those people who make a list of resolutions for the new year and then doesn’t accomplish almost half of it hahah xD. Who else does this? I think every day is a new day to accomplish things and do the things you love. However, the ending of the year always reminds me of letting go all the bad things that happened this year and think of all the things I have learned. I think I’m going to make a blog post about this one too. This one would be about some resolutions for the new year and things I ‘ve learned this year.

A new year is coming and we have to keep everything we have learned this year. It’s all wisdom. I don’t like that sentence of New Year, New Me. I still feel the same when it’s January the first hahah. Every year I learn new things and experience new things in life which makes me grow. That’s what I believe. We can change our life every day and it doesn’t have to be just with this new year arriving. A  year has ended and we are ready for all the new experiences. It’s a time of letting all the bad things go and for new beginnings. I really like that. It makes me happy to let all the bad things go and let all the love for new beginnings and happiness fill my heart <3.

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I hope you all liked reading this blog post. I found it very nice to write this one. Be prepared for more amazing Christmas/New Year related blog posts. I will already say to all of you: Have an amazing holiday season with your loved ones! ❀

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Love you all so much ❀ ❀ ❀

Xoxo Christina

Sometimes I really miss my childhood πŸ˜’πŸ’•πŸ‘ΈπŸŒˆπŸŒ 

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

I wanna talk in this blog post about how I miss my childhood sometimes. I think many bloggers can relate to this aswell, if of course you had a good childhood. Not everybody has that privilige especially kids in underdeveloped countries which I find so sad 😒. I remember one time that I made a box with toys and gave it to a church and they send it to those kids. They were so happy. They even wrote a card back to me. That just made my day! πŸ’•

This is little me, don’t know how old, maybe 5/6. I was dressing up as a beautiful princess haha πŸ‘‘πŸ‘Έ I always liked to play that. I would still do that for a theme party. It’s just so fun. I really like to dress up. I can’t wait to celebrate Halloween this Saturday with my friends here in Spain and dress up like a witch like I do ever year πŸ˜‚.

Sometimes I really do miss being this little. If I think of it I cry a bit. This was the time that I could be myself without a damn care in the world. This was the time that I could wake up at Christmas day and just be sooooo full of excitment. You know that feeling?! That’s just so beautiful. I still love Christmas so much but while having anxiety I find it sometimes stressing to be surrounded by all my family and get asked questions about what I’m doing with my life, career and all that stuff. I just don’t know what to say then. Back then nobody asked those questions. Life was just so simple. I really miss that. I could be happy with little things. As you grow older into an adult it all has to be big things such having a great job, a great partner and so on. Life is made about all those little things. 

This picture was made during Sinterklaas. I always made these crazy moves with my hand haha πŸ˜‚ This is a feast which we celebrate on the 5th of December. He brings presents to the kids. It’s so lovely that we all believed in this. We all believed in Sinterklaas, Santa Claus and The three kings when it wasn’t true. I was really shocked when I knew my parents were the ones who gave me presents. It was that time that I started not to believe the things people were telling me. I felt like everything was a lie. I was 8 years old. It’s just so magical to believe in all of this as a little child. 

That time I turned five years old. I love that the table is covered with images of beer hahaha xD. 

Everything was fun when I was little. I didn’t had periods pain. I played a lot and met great friends in primary school. I was really happy this time. It was at high school that I got bullied and things just changed. It was then that I knew the world wasn’t so colourful as I imagined. It was dark sometimes and sometimes really dark. I got a boyfriend when I was 17 and then at 19 he broke up with me and my whole life felt apart. I’m going to write about that love story in another blog post. It all felt apart in just in one second.

I miss this time where I could be innocent. I miss this time because I felt safe and loved in this wold. I didn’t knew anything yet about the dangers of the world. I just felt so happy and free like everything is fun and could smile and laugh the whole day. I miss this time because my heart was full of love and not broken. I miss this time because I wasn’t afraid of anything. I didn’t know the concept of fear in life. I was climbing on the trees and I didn’t think of falling out of the tree. That thought just didn’t came into my mind. If I would do that now, I would think of being careful and only do it if it will be 100% safe to do because I don’t wanna get hurt. When you are a child you just don’t think of all that stuff. 

What I really do miss is not being able to just not think about one second and not to worry all the time. Now I’m 24, and I worry so much. I guess I believed in too many fairytales. We all have so much to do in life and have to rush to do all those stuff. Adults seem to not be able to enjoy the present moment anymore and just sit still and do yoga and meditate. Those are such great tools to get that present moment and peaceful feeling back.

This picture was made during a holiday in Spain. I love the swing and still play on that sometimes. I just such a carefree feeling. 

This picture was also made in Spain in the Basque country. I was supporting these people hahaha πŸ˜‚

I have grown up with scars in my heart with being bullied in high school, having my heart broken and my father who almost died when I was 11 years old. This all caused me so much anxiety and sadness in life. After all, I’m thankful that this happened to me. It was all so hard but it shaped me. After my first love left me I couldn’t be happy and now after almost 5 years I’m able to be happy again. I now I won’t be this little innocent girl anymore but I have learnt from this all.

I learnt that life isn’t a fairytale but that it’s still so beautiful. We can make it beautiful. Its important to have deep and meaningful relationships with your family and friends. I learnt that we can add colour into our lives. I learnt that your family will always love you no matter how old you are. Your family will always be there for you πŸ’–

Those are my two older brothers. I love them till infinity and beyond. The middle: Rafael is 39 and the left one called Edward is 35. Edward is married and has a beautiful two years old daughter so yeahhh I’m already aunt! πŸ’•πŸ’–πŸ˜ Rafael has a Spanish girlfriend now for two years. 

I learnt that its normal to get nostalgic and sometimes wanna go back in time but its the past. We have to let it all go and move on. The future will be bright, it really will be 🌠 I learnt that we still have that child in our hearts. It’s still there but we have to set it free and be creative. I know the dangers of the world and am more careful but I still believe in the good people. I may be a real princess one day, who knows haha. What I really know is that I will be a dreamer & hippie for life. My heart will always be full of love and light because I so believe that even though the world can be seem really dark, there’s always a light that is shining out there πŸ’«

This is me also in Spain, Basque country in the garden of my lovely Spanish family 😍

Much love,

Christina xoxo 

Would you be friends with people who spoke to you the way you speak to yourself? πŸ’­

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

I saw this picture on Tumblr. This is just so true. We spend so much time doubting, hating and making fun of ourselves. Instead, we should love ourselves more for what we are. I can relate to this so much. I find it hard too. I remember so many times that I have said to myself that I’m not good enough or other bad thoughts such as that I’m not looking good or that I’m not beautiful. I still find it hard to trust these thoughts. However, I learned to not trust “this voice” in my head all the time even though it’s really difficult sometimes.

If a friend would spoke to me the way I speak to myself sometimes, I really wouldn’t be their friend anymore. How can you be friends with someone who is constantly saying negative things about you?! You don’t wanna be around with such a negative person. Why do we find it so damn easy to say things like we aren’t worth it, we aren’t good enough, we aren’t pretty like her/him to ourselves? We would never ever say that to a friend. We know those are bad thoughts πŸ’­.

I think the reason why we find it so easy to say those things to ourselves lies also in society and media. We always see those perfect famous people; with all their glamour and perfect bodies that we increase this mis conception of not feeling good about ourselves. We see those lives and we feel like we aren’t good enough. We scroll through social media and see all those perfect people and wanna be like them. It ain’t perfect. They have problems too but only the good parts are showed. That’s media. Trust me, being famous isn’t always a happy life if you look to the facts that many famous people can’t cope with their lives and take a lot of drugs, alcohol and even suicide…. I find that really sad. 

Society increase those feelings of not feeling good enough constantly. We are so much aware of it. We see those examples in magazines, on social media, on television, just everywhere. It really annoys me. We have to excercise a lot, look skinnier, gain much money, have a perfect job, have a perfect family, travel to the best places on earth, buy a bigger house… It’s always about having more and being better. I don’t like that about our competitive society. It’s never good enough. 

I love this poem which I found on Google. It shows us how society will always find something to tear us down and how we would never be good enough. We shouldn’t listen to that negative voice but focus on how to feel good about ourselves.

Instead we should focus on what we have and achieve inner peace. Inner peace will bring us to self love. If we are happy about ourselves, we also focus on making good choices for our lives. If we feel good in our skin, we will excersise and eat healthy but not to be skinnier. I hate those fitness and diet pages so much. It only increase that negative feeling about yourself. I’m a believer of making good choices for yourself just to feel about yourself. If you all the time try to be skinnier and skinnier, you will never feel happy. It will never be good enough. 

We can eat healthier and do things we love just to feel good about ourselves and increase our health but not to obtain a certain imaginary goal which can’t never be achieved.

Fuck whats society tells you. Don’t believe them. You are good enough. You are beautiful with all your curves. Be proud of yourself. If you have a bad thought coming into your head of not being good enough, you could think of the things what makes you YOU. You are unique and have so many good qualities. You can be romantic, sensitive, kind, social, compasionate… Those are all good qualities. I know you must have all of these too and so muh more πŸ’«

Being beautiful for me means not something temporary like the looks of a person. No. Being beautiful for me means how a person thinks and feels. Being beautiful goes beyond someone’s looks. It’s all about their qualities and dreams in life. Take all the superficial things away and you have that beautiful person. Being beautiful lays down in your soul. Looks will fade away with the years, but that personality and soul will always stick with you for the rest of your life.

Let the world talk. Make good choices for yourself and always out of love. Love yourself for what you are. Stop doubting about yourself. Know you are worth it and achieve all the dreams that you have. 

Believe in yourself, because YOU are beautiful and good enough. Never ever doubt that πŸ’œπŸ’‹

Much love,

xoxo

10 reasons why I love blogging so damn much πŸ’•

Hey lovely bloggers,

I’m gonna share 10 reasons why I love blogging so much πŸ’œ I’m so happy I made WordPress almost three months ago. I never regret any second of it.

  1. Blogging brings me so much happiness to my life. Whenever I feel bad I can read some inspirational posts or quotes and feel happier again. 
  2. The blogging community is just the most awesome community ever. You are all so kind, lovely, beautiful, sensitive and so supportive. It just gives me goosebumps because it makes me remember that there are so many good people out there in this sometimes dark world.
  3. It inspires me so much. I learn so much of reading your blog posts. I can learn how to paint my nails for halloween, how to stay healthy, book reviews, travel tips, inspirational quotes, how to search for a job, how to handle my anxiety, improve self love and just soooo much more. I think blogging is such a good tool for inspiration.
  4. I love writing so much. Here I can write about anything. I love writing poems, my thoughts and feelings.
  5. It’s so good for my mental health. I have anxiety for like my whole life. Since I begin to share all my thoughts and feelings I feel less alone. I feel so supportive. There are more people on here who have a mental illness. I love the fact that not only the people who have a mental illness but also the ones who don’t have it understand me. I think that’s just so magical. In real life, there’s still a stigma around it and some people just don’t get it. Here it’s different πŸ’œ
  6. I feel safe here. Even though my blog is an open space I still feel safe and kinda privated. I just can write about anything and feel respected. I can wrote about how people have bullied me in high school, how I suffer from anxiety and how my first love broke up with me and it’s just all okay. Nobody will judge me and for that I’m so damn blessed. You are da best! πŸ’•
  7. There are no rules how to blog. In life there are many rules on how you have to do this and this but with blogging there are just no rules. Everything you write is okay. It doesn’t matter about what you write. It doesn’t matter if you write about your bad day or how you are stressing about an exam. Everything is okay because those are your feelings, thoughts and experiences. It’s your blog and you decide about what you are going to blog. 
  8. There is not a specific time when you should blog. You can just blog whenever you want. It doesn’t matter if you blog in the early morning, afternoon or late at night. It’s all okay. Just do it whenever you want.
  9. You can blog anywhere you want. This is also an important reason why I love blogging so much. You can just do it anywhere, may it be in a cafe, at school or in your garden. You just have to have your laptop or mobile phone with you. Then you can start to write. 
  10. It’s free. While other hobbies cost something like going swimming or doing a yoga class, blogging is totally free. You can have a premium account on WordPress if you want. It’s up to you. I don’t have one. Blogging is free and you can even gain money out of it but I don’t know how that works πŸ˜‚ Maybe one day I can make that happen… don’t know.

Are there any other reasons why you love blogging? Tell me, I would love to hear! πŸ’œ

I love you all so much πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’• I hope that you are all doing fine. In case you are not, I’m here for you. You are strong. You are all beautiful human beings. 

Much love to all of you,

Christina xoxo

Liebster award 2x <3

Hey lovely bloggers <3,

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I got nominated for the Liebster Award twice. I’m sorry it took a bit longer but I wanted to take my time to write a good blog post. The Liebster Award is an award to discover new, beginning blogs and is a great way to connect and support the blogging community. I feel so honoured that I was nominated for this award twice! πŸ˜€

The rules of this award are the following steps:

Step 1: write a 150-300 word post about your favourite blog that is not your own

My favourite blog on WordPress is without any doubt from the beautiful Chloe ❀ ❀ ❀ I met her on Instagram where she post beautiful pictures about self love and mental health. Her blog is all about her journey to self love while suffering from anxiety. She is also my mail friend like pen pal. I love to be friends with her and hopefully I will meet her one day.

On her blog and on Instagram she stays authentic and honest. I love that she shares the good and bad in life. Mostly, we can see a lot of fake people on social media but she is real. Her posts are about her struggles and how to find happiness while suffering from anxiety. Her posts and quotes really inspire me, make me happy and make me feel less alone. I encourage anybody following my blog, to follow her blog too because you won’t regret it!

Step 2: thank the blogger who nominated you

Thank you for nominating me for the Liebster Award, Cat and Anjana.  Your blogs are so awesome and inspire me so much. I love your blog posts about everything in life. Thank you so much for thinking of me. I encourage everybody to follow these two amazing blogs! ❀


Step 3: 10 facts about yourself (optional)

My blog is now almost three months old. I shared some personal stuff about me over the last three months, however I will share some facts about myself in case you don’t know them 😊.

  • I used to sing in a choir for 11 years in The Netherlands and travelled through Europe to sing with my choir in awesome places like in St. Peter’s Square, Rome for the Pope Benedict XVI.
  • I’m half Spanish/half Dutch; my father is Dutch, my mother is Spanish
  • I grew up between two cultures: Spanish and Dutch culture; I lived all my life in Haarlem, The Netherlands but am now living in Valladolid, Spain (The place where my mother was born).
  • I love writing poems and just all my thoughts and feelings.
  • I love surfing; I’m an beginner surfer, I went two two surf camps in Spain and surfed a lot in The Netherlands too. Even though I can’t catch like real waves I enjoy it haha and it makes me feel so free and happy (It’s already been more than one year that I didn’t surf, hopefully I will surf again soon).
  • I’m an highly sensitive person which means that I have a nervous system that is more sensitive than others and it process things more deeply. In other words, I feel more and love more. About 20% of the population has this personality trait. I can connect with the world in a way other people can’t. I cry and suffer more, but I also love deeply and have a deep appreciation of the beautiful world around me.
  • I think and dress like a hippie haha peace all the way! ❀
  • I used to do competitive swimming in The Netherlands, once I won the first price of estafette with my group. I really love swiming and would love to swim more because it’s really great to beat my anxiety.
  • I have anxiety for like my whole life. I blog about this a lot because it really helps to vulnerable and I get great support from all the people here. Since 8 months, I’m taking antidepressants like 20 mg each day and a benzo when I feel really anxious. This is really helping me a lot even though I’m now in a period of transition from college to real life which is really hard to cope with but I hope I will be okay soon.
  • I love travelling and travelled a lot through Europe. One of my biggest dream was going to New York City. Two years ago I won the Many Languages, One World Essay contest of 2015. I won a free trip to New York City in the summer of 2015. Our essays were related to the sustainable development goals. I wrote about the importance of gender equality between men and women. I wrote my essay in Spanish. I was in the Spanish team and we worked on our presentation for the United Nations together those days. We had to do a speech in the United Nations. Our project was called EMMA. This proyect was about how to end hunger, achieve food security and sustainablity. It was all so inspiring 😍. It made me think of all the things I wanna change in the world. This was definitely a once in a lifetime experience. I’m forever blessed to have experienced this and met everlasting friendships from people all over the world.

Step 4: Answer the questions your nominator has asked

First I will answer the questions of Cat 😊.

1) What’s your favorite book?

My favourite book is definitely β€œThe fault in our stars”. It’s a love story between two teenagers who have cancer. It’s soooo damn beautiful and emotional. You all should read this book in case you didn’t read it. I also love the movie so much.

2) Tell your favorite quote and why? (mention from which book, in case it’s from a book, you took it).

I have so many favourite quotes but this is definitely one of my favourites from my favourite book: β€œThe fault in our stars – John Green”. This quote is just so beautiful and so true because it shows what true love is and the hard truth of life.

β€œI’m in love with you,” he said quietly.

“Augustus,” I said.

“I am,” he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.”

3) When did you felt most satisfied with your life?

I felt the most satisfied and happiest in my life when I achieved one of my biggest dream which was going to New York City. Two years ago I won the Many Languages, One World Essay contest of 2015. I won a free trip to New York City in the summer of 2015 and spoke at the United Nations. I shared more details in the 10 facts about myself.

4) If you could choose live in any other place, where would it be ?

I would love to live in a place near to the ocean where it’s sunny every day like Hawaii, California, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Australia or Aruba. I would love to visit these places one day. I’m dying to go to Aruba and meet a famous yoga instructor called Yoga Girl and go on a yoga retreat and surf in the ocean of Aruba.

5) Are you capable of managing your social life with your blogging life?

Yes, of course! However, it’s kinda strange that sometimes I feel more connected to the blogging community than with people in my real life. I feel like I can share all my thoughts and feelings especially with having anxiety. I feel so much support here and it helps me so much.

6) Horror movies or Comedy movies? And why

Comedy movies of course, because I can’t watch horror movies. I’m a highly sensitive person and while having anxiety horror movies are just not my movies. It’s way too much for my senses. Comedy movies and romantic movies are the best 😊 ❀ They make me so happy!

7) If you had to spend the rest of your life with only one person, who would it be?

This is a difficult question because I really love all my good friends and family. I would spend it with my lovely mother because she is the one who always support and understand me. She is always there for me. I love her too infinity and beyond! ❀ She is the most important person in my life.

8) What is your favorite song? And why?

I love music so much that I really can’t choose one favourite song. One of my favourite songs is: Is this love from Bob Marley. I heard this song in a surf van when I was doing a surf camp in Spain. I just love those hippie vibes and it makes me feel so free and happy. Love and peace is the way in life! ❀

These are my answers of the questions of Anjana :).

1) Describe your personal sense of style?

My personal sense of style is hippie style. I love kinda hippie clothes and the boho style of fashion. My room is this style too haha. I wear flower headbands and a dream catcher as necklace. I also love to wear clothes with Aztec print. This all creates me the hippie feeling which means for me to have a free spirit, open heart and mind.

2) Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

I never like those kind of questions because it makes me feel insecure. I’m 24 right now so in 5 years I will be 29, that’s old hahah no. Sometimes, I’m afraid of the future and I just don’t know what I want do in my life. I never have like a plan. I hopefully see myself in 5 years being even more happy with myself, have faced more fears, being able to deal better with my anxiety, doing things that makes me happy and make a career out of it. Hopefully, I also have travelled to more amazing and beautiful places in the world and have made more memories and aventures with the people I love in life. I see myself livinig in Spain or somewhere else where it’s sunny and near to the ocean where I can surf.

3) Who is most important to you and why?

Definitely, my mother! ❀ She is the one that always support me in everything in life and is just always there for me. I love her so much. She is a strong and beautiful woman ❀ She is also the person who learned me Spanish and for that I’m forever blessed. Thanks to being able to speak Spanish, I won the essay contest of New York City and spoke at the United Nations.

4) What are 3 blog posts that everyone should have on their blog?

3 blog post that should be on every blog are one about ending the stigma of mental health illnesses, #me too campaign, and travels. Those are really important subjects for me and always keep me interested in reading them.

5) What is one thing you can’t live without?

That’s a difficult question…. Maybe some people would say their phone haha, but actually I can live without it. It’s not a real need. One thing I surely can’t live without is: WATER. I think many people take for granted all the things we have yet in so many countries in the world people still don’t have access to water which is one of the primary needs during the life of a human being!!! We drink water, we wash our clothes with water, we shower, we cook,…. we need water. It’s also the best thing to drink in the Summer because it doesn’t make me more thirsty like fanta or coca cola that contains so much sugar. I just love water even if it’s tasteless haha. It’s the best thing in the world! ❀ It’s so damn refreshing! 😍


Step 5: Nominate 5-11 bloggers with under 200 followers

It was a bit difficult find bloggers with less than 200 followers haha but I found some amazing bloggers :).

toomuchtooyoungblog.wordpress.com

prometheanreport.wordpress.com

moonlightsandmacaroons.wordpress.com

inspiringdude.wordpress.com

writtenbyroxy.wordpress.com

annepersonalblog.wordpress.com

thescintillation.com

lavenderhearts.blog

thehappinesshunt.wordpress.com


Step 6: Ask your nominee some questions

I’m excited to read your answers! πŸ™‚

1) Do you believe in life after death and why?

2) What do you find most important in life?

3) What would you do with the money if you won the lottery?

4) What is your favourite season and why?

5) What do you want to change in this world and why?

I had soooo much fun writing this long blog post even though it cost me some time but here’s it is 😊. I hope you enjoy reading it.

Much love,

xoxo

 

 

#Me too – Men are responsible for their actions

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’ž,

I’m gonna write a subject which I always have had on my mind. It’s just something that really hits me hard and I guess more women can understand this and feel the same way. I’m sorry I’m cursing sometimes but this subject just really make me angry.

​Me too.

If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote “Me too.” as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem. 

Women all over the world are tweeting or posting this on social media to make aware of this big problem. It is not just about one women, it’s all about millions of women who have been sexually harrased or assaulted in their lives.

I’m gonna share some of my experiences. I always felt ashamed of it. I felt like it was all my fault. I have had times where I was drunk and boys made use of this even when I didn’t want. People may say it’s all my fault. IT’S FUCKING NOT. This problem is a men issue too! Men are responsible for their fucking actions.

I have experienced so many times that I felt unsafe outside because men were shouting dirty things to me or catcalling me. I hate it so much. When I go out clubbing and am almost near to my house, I have the key of my house in my hand in case in case I see a scarry man to open my house door in just one second.  I think many women can relate to this feeling. Why do women have to feel unsafe all the time? We are used to grow up in a world where we are told since we are little that we have to be careful and that we as women have to feel unsafe all the fucking time. They don’t say that to boys. It’s just so unfair. We should raise boys and girls the same way.

We should educate girls and boys the same way. We should let boys know that they are responsible for their actions. It doesn’t matter if a girl is wearing a dress or not. This doesn’t determine their consent. We should educate boys to respect girls and when they say NO, it’s no. We should educate girls to speak up and learn to say no. 

I have had so many times where I walked alone at night after clubbing with my friends that boys said dirty things to me. This also occured to me during day time. This is something I never wanted to share because I felt so damn ashamed. Even my first love, you know my first boyfriend ever, that one person you love and trust…. well he was the one that many times crossed my boundaries and even said to me like: “If I don’t have sex with you before I’m 18, then I will go to the whores in Amsterdam”. Thinking of it now, he wasn’t that nice because if one person don’t respect your NO, that person isn’t good for you and just not worth it.

Also one time when I was going out with a friend in a city in the North of Spain (Santander) a boy said to me in the bar: “YOU LOOK LIKE I COULD FUCK YOU NOW” I showed him the middle finger and went outside and felt so fucking angry. Where is your fucking respect to a women?! I am forever a feminist and believe in equal rights between women and men. Both should be treated equally and with respect. 

Another story I’m going to share now is one which took place during gym in high school. This gym teacher was always saying dirty things to the girls like calling them honey and stuff. He also said one time to a girl: “Oh you must be on your period, right because you are angry?” Like, what the fuck are you saying. You have no right to say that. So, one time I brought some gym stuff back to a dark room. All my classmates were in the clothing room and were away. Then suddenly, he gave me like a hug or wanted to touch me… anyways something really strange and dirty. I said: “What the hell are you doing?”. He said: “It’s a rugby tackle”. I ran away crying to the dressing room.  Since then, I never felt safe again surrounded men. I hated gym so much becausd I always felt insecure and got bullied. Some popular girls saw me crying and asked me why and I never told them. I should have gone to the director of my high school and tell him. Now, it’s too late but now I’m 24 years old and say all things straight away. I was only 15 years old….. 

Women can wear dresses and lipstick and all stuff their want. Why does society always fucking blame the women when they get sexually harassed or assaulted and say stuff like: “Were you out at night?, “What were you wearing?”, “Did you drink?. It’s never the women’s fault. We should look at the action of the boys, they are fucking responsible for their actions.

I hope more women speak open about the things that happened to them so we can beat this problem πŸ’œπŸ‘ You are not alone. You are here to open up and speak about it. You don’t have to feel ashamed. Men are responsible for their actions. We should also talk with the men to prevent all of this. 

I’m here for you all πŸ’ž 

Much love,

xoxo

All of my kindness is taken for weaknessΒ 

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’ž,

​I think of this quote so much. It is from the song FourFiveSeconds from Rihanna and some other artists. This relates so much to my experiences in life and interaction with people. I always treat people with respect and am always kind. Unfortunately, all of my kindness is taken for weakness. Why do you think? πŸ’­

Kindness in today’s world is so rare that whenever people come across with someone that is kind, they assume it to be weakness. It is so much easier to hate and be judgmental. I don’t see kindness as a weakness. I see it as a strength. Being kind in a sometimes dark world takes so much courage.

Unfortunately, the kind people are the ones who suffer the most. I have had so many times that people took advantage of me and bullied me because of my kindness. They know I will never become angry or hateful. I am an easy target. However, I tried to change. I wanna be mean sometimes but I just fucking can’t. It’s not in my personality to be mean at people.

I have learned that kindness is a strength. I have learned that I don’t have to change and become this angry person because that won’t bring me any good in my life. I have learned that I can stay myself. I just have to set boundaries for people and say no more often and don’t let people taking advantage of me. I have learned to stay away from negative and judgemental people.

Why should you change yourself to be accepted in this world? No, fucking no. Even though in my opinion there are a lot of bad people out there, there are still so many good and kind people out there too. You just have to find them. We need people who are kind to each other in this world. You never know what they are going through.

It’s just sooo important to be surrounded with people who support and care about you. Kindness is such a good thing. If there wouldn’t be any kind person on this planet, it would be a really dark world. Shout out to all those beautiful kind people who take the fucking courage to be kind even though they have been hurt! πŸ‘

Don’t let the world make you hate or break your own heart. Never change. Stay kind and true to yourself πŸ’œπŸ‘ŒπŸ’« You are beautiful just the way you are πŸ’ž

Much love to all of you πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•,

xoxo