Will I ever make my wildest and biggest dreams come true?

Hola lovelies 💕,

I wanted to write a more uplifting post today but I feel like I can’t. I cried last night for a few hours and I just have to write it down here. I always have to write about how I’m feeling on that moment because if I don’t do it that moment will pass and I wouldn’t be able to write about it anymore. It wouldn’t feel real anymore. I would never fake how I feel on my blog because then I wouldn’t be honest and authentic on my blog. I always want to be honest in real life and online. This blog post will be about some feelings and thoughts I have lately, why I cried last night, and about reaching our dreams.

So, last night I was just scrolling through Intagram when I saw a picture of one of my best friends with her boyfriend and then I saw something more and was in shock 🤯. I just couldn’t stop crying. My good friend got engaged and didn’t tell me anything. I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend. I was like what?! I felt left out and hurt. Some hours has passed and I still feel that way. I had to cry so much. I’m not jealous of her. I always want the best for everyone and want everyone to be happy. I’m also on my period so I’m even more emotional and sensitive for everything. Even though I’m sometimes in Spain for a few months and then I come back to The Netherlands I always love to keep in contact with my friends and family. When such a good friend doesn’t say such an important thing of their life well I guess it’s normally to feel left out and lonely. I also am afraid or friendship will change. I’m so afraid of loosing people. The break up of my first love makes me extremely afraid of people walking away from my life. Of course, I have to be happy for my friend which I’m but then I began to think negatively about my own life and how far behind I’m with the rest of my friends. I feel like I’m the only one not reaching milestones in life.

You know that moment you are lying in bed and you feel like your whole world is crashing down? Well, that’s what happened last night. It’s not only this news which makes me feel that way. I feel lost for so long in my life. For like two years I feel like I’m just surviving through life instead of living. I can’t move on in life because of anxiety 😔. My mother understand me the best and says I have to go to the doctor for it. I had some talks a few years ago with a social worker and got nauseous every time so yeah I don’t know if that would help. My mother takes valium so sometimes when I’m really anxious I take that from her too and I also have some anti anxiety meds being subscribed from the doctor in Spain. My father is also there for me but I would prefer if I ever ask for help as in therapy do it in Spain. There are really good professionals out there. To be honest I’m also afraid of asking for help and speaking up.

It’s something that I keep repeating and I’m sorry if I write about this much lately like I did in this blog post. It’s just how I feel often. It makes me depressed and anxious to see all people moving on with their lives while I can’t. Many of my friends are in a relationship, are getting jobs and moving in with each other. I feel like I will be the last one to settle down or will not reach anything in life. Do we have to reach some goal in life or is it all just a myth of society to keep us going? It’s not that I want to die even though I really say that a lot to my mother mostly and I also think it a lot. I will never do anything to myself. I would be too scared for that. It’s just and always have been that I’m afraid of death but also of life and therefore I can’t move on in life. It’s so hard. It’s though to feel this way as I don’t know what the solution would be.

What felt good last night was that in those bad moments I always write in the Yoga Girl Community on Facebook. It’s my safe space like this blog 💗🙏. It feels good to know that you aren’t alone with your thoughts and feelings. This all can feel too much and makes me feel so lonely. It makes me feel a bit better to know that there’s someone out there who also is feeling your feelings and maybe even in that moment. It makes it feel less isolating. Being a highly sensitive person is just so overwhelming sometimes. It’s a blessing but sometimes also a curse because every little thing hit me in life. I worry too much, I get anxious fast and I feel every emotion of all the people I love in life. It’s hard to be sensitive in a world where not everyone understands that.

What I’m the most afraid of is thinking that I won’t reach my dreams in life. I’m happy seeing my friends and all the people I love getting married, having babies and doing all the things they love. I just wish I will live the life I dream of too in the future. Yesterday I applied again to a job which is to work for the surf brand O’Neill in a shop in Spain. I just never get any reply back from a job and if I get one then it’s mostly negative. It makes me feel like I want to give up on everything in life. I’m tired. Really. I’m so tired of everything. I’m 26 years, still so young and have my life ahead of me. How can I say that? It’s just how I feel. Feeling anxious about a lot of things and going through life while feeling anxious is really exhausting. I just wish there would be a cure to that. I just also always feel like nothing makes sense if we all die one day. It makes me go in a negative state and it’s hard to let those thoughts go in that moment.

The most inspiring thing of all of this is that YES OF COURSE I HAVE DREAMS ✨. I want to be able to say I went for it and made them all come true. I just don’t know how to begin. I want to write a poetry book and maybe publish it. I want to be able to surf well and surf some waves 🏄‍♀️🌊. I want to travel the world and go to amazing places like Costa Rica, Hawaii, California and Aruba 🇦🇼 🌴. I want to take singing 🎶 classes or maybe join a choir again. I want to go to the yoga retreat of Yoga Girl in Aruba. I would love to have a house on the beach and see the sea every time I wake up. I just want to live a happy life, do the things I love, be surrounded by the people I love and not feel constantly anxious about everything. Most of all, I just want to heal myself while I heal others in this world 🌍. Is that too much to ask for? I want to be of service in this world and I know that will be the key to contribute to the world while feeling purposeful. Just writing these sentences makes me cry because deep down in my heart I know that I have a purpose. It’s just that I don’t know how to make all these dreams happen and I find it hard to find a specific job in something I love to do. Then I feel overwhelmed and get anxious of all of it and don’t do anything.

One of my best pen pal friends wrote me some lovely messages today and one of them was that I’m being too hard on myself. It’s definitely true and I always have been way too hard on myself. I also sometimes feel that I give more love then I will ever receive in my life which I wrote about in this blog post. I truly believe that there are some people born who give more love than they will ever receive back. I’m also one of them. I’m a giver. I give too much and you can’t go on in life when you are constantly giving and not receiving the same love back. It makes it all so exhausting. I have to be able to set more boundaries.

So back to my question. Will I ever be able to make my big dreams come true? Maybe I will but it all just takes time. It’s also okay if I think of new dreams and throw other dreams in the bin. Life changes constantly and so do we. Experiences change us. Our interest changes within the years through life. We have just this one life. We are all doing the best we can. It’s okay to cry, to be angry and to be happy. My most important lesson of today was that it’s okay to feel. Let it be 💗🙏.

To love and let go, love and let go, love and let go…it’s the single most important thing we can learn in this lifetime.– Rachel Brathen

Rachel Brathen also called Yoga Girl which is my biggest inspiration in life wrote a new book which is about loss, gratitude and love. She lost her best friend in a car accident while she was going through surgery for her appendix. It’s a heartbreaking story. I’m ready to heal my heart while reading this book. It will come this week by post. I need it. It’s about all kinds of loss in life.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. Do you also feel this way? What advice would you give me? How do I feel less lonely and more purposeful in life? How can we all reach our wildest dreams while being fearful and anxious all the time? Let me know lovelies. Your words and advice are always so appreciated 💗🙏. I love you all so much. Thank you for always holding space for me. I will be there for you too. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

Life is for the living 💗🌌

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

Today I want to write about something I thought one night and still think sometimes. These are some thoughts which I think a lot of and can’t seem to let them go. I hope you can understand them and can somehow relate to them. I miss sharing my thoughts and feelings on here which was also the reason I began this blog. I just felt the need to write them down and what better way to share them here on my blog.

So, one Summer night I was sitting in the car with my friends and we were driving back home from celebrating a birthday of our friend. I was looking at the stars from the window of the car and thought of life. I think a lot of this life we are living. I thought about the purpose of life. I think a lot of it actually. I thought of the universe ✨ . It always amazes me and also terrifies me at the same time. We are a drop in the ocean like a drop in the universe. We are nothing compared to the big universe yet we are everything. Life wouldn’t be the same without us all here. Sometimes when I feel bad I think this life is worthless and I don’t understand why I’m living. It makes me feel worse as I think of all the pain and injustice in the world. I often think that it’s difficult to be that sensitive girl in this hard world. People can be so mean and really life can be so so hard and break your whole heart 💔.

However, I still believe even though during those times that I’m struggling or feeling anxious that we are here living this life for a reason. Even when life breaks our heart in many ways we are here for a reason. In those moments when I look up at the sky and see the stars ✨ shining so brightly and see the moon 🌜🌛 following us while we are driving I get emotional. It’s just amazing to think how we all ended up here and our living this life in this beautiful world. We may not always find it beautiful and life can be so hard but there are still moments like this that make it all worth it. I truly believe in that. I’m grateful for all the good people I have in my life. I love my family and friends. I love my blogging friends, pen pal friends and I love to be in the Yoga Girl community. Life is all about sharing love to ourselves and giving that love to others 💗. That’s why we are living this life.

Those moments I look up at the sky while being at the backseat of the car of my friend I began to think of my purpose in life. Am I doing some purposeful things in life? I’m still looking for a job and feel like I don’t have my life together. I’m still struggling with anxiety about getting a job, going to the dentist or other everyday life things. It’s all okay because I’m still living this life the best I can. I may not earn money from the things I do right now in life but at least I can say I’m making people happy. At least I’m trying, really I am. Even when some people from the outside think we aren’t doing our best, we really are. Don’t compare yourself to someone else their highs in life. We all go through ups and downs in life. Not everyone shows it. This blog means so much for me. I’m able to speak my thoughts and emotions out loud and can help people who struggle with life or feel alone. I have always thought that I’m here to help others and that helping others will heal me too 💗. I truly believe that’s true. I love to share the truth, be honest and be vulnerable with myself and with you all.

Eventually the universe will give us what we want at the moment we need it. We have to take action but what’s meant to be, will be. At least, that’s what I believe in. I also believe that of course having a job and earning money is important to become independent and be able to care for yourself but the little moments in life are what makes life beautiful. You can earn millions of money, be famous and still feel unhappy. Maybe you are only doing it for the money but you don’t feel purposeful. That will not give you the happiness in life you need. We live for those little moments in life such as seeing a baby smiling at his parents, swimming in the ocean on a Summer day, feeling the warmth on your skin or drinking a tea with your mother during a cold Winter night. All the big things like getting a promotion at work, marriage or getting a new house will not mean anything if you don’t appreciate the little moments in between. Those extra ordinary moments are what make this life beautiful 🌟 .

At the end of our lives, it’s all about how much love you gave to yourself and to others. You will also remind yourself of all the beautiful memories you made, the friendships you made along the way, the places you have been to, the books you have read, the journals you have written, the music you have played and danced along. It’s all about love because that’s what matters the most in life. To love and be loved. You won’t remember the bad times as much as the good times. Your happiness is the most important thing that you will be reminded of. Never ever forget that. You deserve all the good things in life.

It’s all about living a life according to your values and not impressing people you don’t even like. When I got bullied during high school I was always thinking that if I changed myself maybe then those bullies would like me and treat me differently. Thinking of this back I know now that it wasn’t okay to think that way as I don’t have to change myself for anybody. We are all different and that’s what makes us all beautiful. We aren’t here to impress people. We are here to help ourselves and others. We are here to heal ourselves. We are here to feel peace within ourselves. We are here to love each other no matter what. We are here to give hope to people who have lost it. We are here to live because life is for the living.

This song also inspired me to write this post. I love the music of Passenger. This song is called Life’s for the living.

“Don’t you cry for the lost
Smile for the living
Get what you need and give what you’re given
Life’s for the living so live it
Or you’re better off dead”

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I really liked writing it. I wrote it when I got a lot of inspiration. I always get inspired by looking up at the sky and seeing the shining stars in the sky. Did you too get inspired? What do you think of living a purposeful life? What do you think your purpose is in life? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

Happy two year blogging anniversary! 🎉🌻✌️😍🎈🎂

Hey lovelies 💕,

Today I want to talk about something really important which is about this special day. Today my blog turned two years old! 🎉 I’m so happy about it and also feel very proud of this accomplishment. To be honest I always get easily bored and also quit easily when things get hard. I’m happy that I sticked around and never gave up on blogging because it makes me so happy. I wouldn’t know where I would be without my blog. I can’t believe how fast time is going by. They always say time flies when you are having fun and that’s definitely true. I will share you in this post some of the reasons why I started blogging, some words about my appreciation for you all and some funny statistics like I did last year in this blog post 💕.

Yeahhh the official announcement! 😍🎉
The collage I made for all of you! 😍

I’m just so happy that I kept blogging and never stopped. I used to blog more but now I prefer to post 4 or 5 times a month. I don’t have another blogging schedule. I prefer to post just when I have inspiration and want to. I never want to turn my blog in something that I have to do. I do it because it’s fun and I love it. Blogging makes me so happy. I love to interact with you all. I never knew that I would meet so many amazing and beautiful people like you all are 😍 You all mean the world to me. I really wouldn’t know what I would do without you all.

I also always felt the need to write 📝 . I have loved writing since I have been little. I used to write in a diary when I was younger. I still have so many journals and notebooks at home but I don’t use it that much. I only write there sometimes some poems or use it as scrapbook. I want to use it more or make a bullet journal. I always say that I’m going to that and at the end nothing happens 😂. I find blogging easier to do so whenever I have some thoughts or emotions I want to let go of. I always use my blog for that.

I never knew that my blog would grow so much and would attract so many people. I love to write about mental health, self love, feminism, travel trips, photography, poetry and books. I love to not have a niche as I love to write about a lot of things. This year I wrote some book related posts such as hauls and reviews. I also love that I share almost every month a music post about the music I loved that month or new music which came out 🎶. I love to discover new music too. I would love to share more singing covers as I love to sing and I would love to share that more with you all 😍🎤. I also thought of making a YouTube channel but I still don’t know if I will ever make that happen. If anyone has any ideas of posts you want to see on my blog, please let me know.

I’m just so grateful to have you all in my life 💗🙏 . I like that my blog is growing and that I get more followers but what’s more important than all the numbers are all the friendships I’ve made through blogging. You guys are da best and mean the most to me. I love my real life friends, pen pals and the friends I made through blogging. This community is just so powerful and so beautiful ✨. Everytime I feel my life is turning upside down and I feel like the clouds are crying with me I turn to my blog and I begin to write about everything what’s on my mind no matter how dark or heavy it’s.

You are always there for me and listen to me. I appreciate that so much. I love your advice but what I love the most is just to know that I’m not alone in my struggles and that theres’s someone who understands me and cares about me even when we never have met. I truly believe that online friends are real friends too. I can’t wait to meet you all one day. We will ALWAYS be friends ❤️🌹. I don’t say that just to say something nice. I really mean it.

I keep saying that nowadays we live in such a fake world where we are told to hide our feelings and not be vulnerable. We are told not to share our struggles because it’s better to not fall apart. Well, sometimes it’s good to fall apart and to cry. We have to let everything go. For me, singing and writing is a beautiful form of letting my thoughts go. It’s a way of healing. We all have our own ways of how to go through life. I think it’s important to have that because otherwise we hold everything in ourselves which at the end is much worse. We can’t have all our thoughts in our mind because at the end we will explode. We have to let it out in any form which works for you.

I also would like to share now some nice statistics of this blogging year. I hope you find them interesting too haha 😂 . I have so many more views and visitors compared to last year so I’m really happy about that.

Some blogging statistics:

Followers: 379 (Last year I had 212, so I gain 167 followers yeahhh!)

Blog posts: 158

Visitors: 5239

Views: 9742 (Almost 10.000 wow!)

Best day: April the 7th, the day I got the most views

Day most popular: Friday, yeahhh weekend vibes! (19%)

Hour most popular: 9:00 PM (7%)

Some of my blog posts wich are the most popular and got the most views were:

The differences between everyday anxiety and an anxiety disorder (65 views)

Today it’s my 26th birthday forever young yeahhh (66 views)

April favourites (73 views)

Loving you is a loosing game (86 views)

Do you think it’s possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return (534 views, this post is from September 2017 and still get so many views which I’m very proud of)

Top 10 countries that have visited my blog:

I find this such an amazing thing to look at when I look at the statistics. So many people from all over the world visit my blog 🌍. It’s crazy! I think it’s amazing. Sometimes I also see countries which I don’t know such as Swaziland, Lesotho or The European Union lol that’s not a country. I exactly know which bloggers friends visit my blog when I look at the stats haha. Thank you all so much! 💕

1. United States (1682 views)

2. United Kingdom (792 views)

3. Netherlands (597 views including me when I’m there haha)

4. India (431 views)

5. Canada (294 views)

6. Spain (288 views including me)

7. Australia (218 views)

8. South Africa (151 views)

9. Ireland (144 views)

10. Philippines (86 views)

Thank you all so much for following my blog and for giving me so much love with all the comments and likes you give me. I’m thankful for all the lessons I learned this year. I still don’t know if I ever am going to earn money with blogging. What was funny one day when I was at home in Holland with my family was that my father said how you could earn money while blogging. He said that it must be something for me as he knows I love to write. I never told him as I don’t want everyone to know about my blog. I just love this safe space where I can share freely without being afraid of judgment. I love that like almost everyone on here are people who I don’t know in real life. I would love to meet you all but I just love that I can be 100% myself and be honest without thinking oh no that person knows me from this, I can’t say that. This is my blog without any filters. It’s just the truth.

However, maybe in the future I would love to upgrade my account to premium or even business to have more space and to design my blog better. First, I need money for that. I just will keep blogging my whole life. Sometimes I will blog more and sometimes less. I will always stick to be myself. I never want to impress people. I just want to help others in need and heal myself too while writing. Everyone here is welcome no matter what your religion, sexuality, race or nationality is. We are all one. We are all human. I hope you will all follow this adventure called life with the ups and the downs with me. I love you all with my whole heart ♥.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. What do you love about my blog? What kind of changes or topics would you love to see on my blog? Do you also think that writing can heal our hearts? Do you also think that internet friends can be real friends too? Do you think we will ever meet in person? I would love to know your thoughts on this. I will keep writing from the heart. Always. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

I love you all so much, to infinity and beyond, to the moon and back 😍😍🌜🌛🌟✨,

xoxo Christina

Reflection on 2018 & happy new year to you all! 🎉✨💕💫

Hey lovelies 💕,

Happy new year to you all! ✨🎉 In this post I will talk about my 2018 and will show you how I celebrated New Year’s Eve. I’m glad I don’t have a cold amymore but just tonight I got my period so yeah that also sucks 😭 I’m glad I take medication for the cramps because otherwise I wouldn’t survive it. Besides, I’m also being anxious about my appointment of getting one of my wisdom teeth pulled out this week. I keep postponing the appointment. I know I have to do it but I’m so scared. H e l p. I also don’t want to do it in Holland. Here in Spain it’s much cheaper and the dentist understands my anxiety but I’m still so afraid and I just feel like I can’t cope. If anyone have some more tips to survive it I will be forever grateful 🙏💕 I can always take medication for anxiety if that’s enough to help me cope with it.

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We are already in 2019. A year has flown by. As usually I want to reflect on my year with this post and also write some important things for you all. Every year has its ups and downs. Every year consists of good things and bad things which happen to us. The most important thing is how we react to all these things. I know how hard it’s to stay positive in this sometimes dark world. I just keep believing that there are so many good things in the world and that there are indeed so many good people. You just have to find your tribe. I’m so glad I did.

I’m so happy with my blogging community, mental health community, Yoga Girl community and the goddess revolution community. I’m thankful that I joined these communities this year. They made me feel less alone and so much happier. If I’m in Holland I will maybe go to a meet up with some yoga girls. I also really wish that we will continue to all be friends and hopefully one day we will all meet ✨ I know the universe brought us all together for a reason which is to be connected with awesome people, share our struggles and feel supported.

I learned a lot this year. I learn every day from this world. This year I realized that there are truly lovely people who care about you and want you to be happy. I learned that it’s better to have a few good friends than a million of fake friends. The ones who love you will always be there for you no matter what. I learned that true love exists when I saw my brother getting married in August in Spain. I learned that this life is an adventure. Sometimes we win and sometimes we loose. We learn from every experience. I also learned that it’s okay if I’m not where I want to be in life. I still have a long way to go. I will find a career I love and will keep growing. It all takes time, pacience and trust in myself. I have to love myself, believe in myself and know that I can make my dreams come true such as working and living in Spain ✨

I also went to my first feminist strike in Valladolid, in Spain on International Women’s Day on the 8th of March with my mother. This was such an empowerful event. I never went to a demonstration before. I really wish 2019 will be the year that less women will be suffering from violence. I wish that women and men have the same human rights. Together we are starting a revolution. This is just the beginning. 2019 will be the year where women can be themselves, love themselves and love each other 💕

This year I also learned that music is the best thing in life 🎶 I would be lost without music. I went to so many amazing concerts such as the Operación Triunfo 2017 concert in Madrid with my friend Maria 💕 Operación Triunfo makes me so happy and full of life. I also enjoyed the concert of Pablo Alboran, Chenoa, Hombres G and Celtas Cortos with my mother in Valladolid. I also enjoyed so much the concert of Sofia Ellar with my friend Maria. I can’t wait to see her again. It was so lovely to meet Sofia and get a picture with her. She’s the best and I can’t wait to see her singing again 😍

This year I began to read again a lot which I loved to do so much when I was younger. I will continue reading this new year. I also kept writing and being creative. I hope to create more amazing content on this blog. Writing is amazing. I travelled to Madrid, Granada, Santander and Somo. I discovered Somo which is a beautiful surfing village in the north of Spain. In 2019 I really want to go to a surf camp again 🏄‍♀️🌊🌞. I didn’t go surfing for more than two years. I miss it so much. It’s also so good for my mental health. The sea is my home and cleans my soul. The beach is my favourite place on this earth. I can’t wait to travel to more amazing places and meet more amazing people.

Somo, Santander (September 2018)

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Granada, Andalucia (July 2018)

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La Rábita, Mediterranean Sea, Granada (July 2018)

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Madrid (March 2018)

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Maybe for some of you this year was a hard year. Maybe some of you have lost someone close to you. Maybe you just didn’t felt okay and were struggling. I’m here for you. It’s okay to grief. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel sad. Feelings change and emotions change but it all takes time. Try to not be hard on yourself next year. Remember, I’ll will always be there for you 💕 I hope you will invest in self love and self care this new year because that’s the most important thing that matters. I also encourage you all to surround yourself with people who love you and who bring you only good vibes because you deserve that ✨.

I celebrated my New Year’s Eve in Valladolid, in Spain. I decided to not go out with my friends. I also didn’t go out last year. I used to party every year but I don’t feel in the mood anymore. I have to do what feels good to me. I went to the hairdressers in the afternoon to cut the dead ends, my bangs and they made curls in my hair. I love to look good for myself. I dressed up at home and did my make up. My mother and I went to the house of the mother of the wife of my brother. We celebrated all together New Year’s Eve: Rafael, my mother, Véronica, Véronica’s mother and her brother. We enjoyed eating delicious Spanish food.

We ate cheese, jamon serrano, chorizo, bread and chicken. I didn’t eat the fish because I don’t like fish so much haha 😂 At 12 o’clock we watched the television and ate the 12 grapes. We also had champagne 🥂. It’s a tradition in Spain to eat the 12 grapes. They say it brings luck. We watched television where we were hearing beautiful music and we played Spanish card games. I really loved it so much. I love playing games with my family. At 3.30 am my mother and I went home and we stayed in watching some television. We went to bed at 6 am pretty late but doesn’t matter because it’s a special night. I’m glad I didn’t go out because as soon as we were home I got my period haha. On New Year’s Day we just stayed in and chilled. I saw the movie Grease. I just love that movie & the music so much 😍 I also saw the movie Paper Towns which I love so much from John Green. I already saw this movie with my best friend one day and loved it.

l wish you all an amazing new year full of love, happiness and luck 🍀✨✌️ Stay strong & stay safe. We are all in this together 💪 I love you all so so so much ❤️. Thank you all for reading. How was your New Year’s Eve? Did you stay at home or did you went to a party? Which are your goals or dreams to achieve in 2019? I would love to know. I will speak to you all soon in my next blog post.

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Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

Feeling lonely and the love of communities 💕

Hola sweeties 💕,

In this blog post I will write about feeling lonely which I’m feeling for a long time right now. I’m feeling this feeling even stronger here in The Netherlands. I also felt this feeling in Spain but much less. I’m going to talk about feeling lonely and about the differences of living in Spain or The Netherlands. Loneliness is a feeling that many people will not want to admit. Everybody can feel lonely in life. I think it’s important to write about it because I often feel in life that not many people want to talk about it or they feel ashamed to feel this way. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Those are your feelings and you have every right to feel them.

I know why I feel this feeling stronger here in The Netherlands than in Spain. A big reason is that in Spain I have a group of friends where I hang out with mostly in the weekends. We eat tapas together, have a fiesta or just meet each other and talk. I also have good friends here in The Netherlands but it seems like everyone is busy living their lives. My friends in Spain also have their lives but the Spanish people in general are more social and it’s easier to meet new people. In Spain people make time to see each other and also make time to eat with friends and family. Since I’m back in Holland I only saw one time my best friend, another day my other good friend and another day another good friend. I’m already a month here. For the rest, I only go out with my mother. So, basically I’m only with my parents. I’m happy that I bought concert tickets last weekend to go to the concert of Vance joy this friday in Paradiso Amsterdam. I can’t wait to hear the song Riptide live 😍. I’m going with my best friend and I can’t wait to enjoy a concert together again. It’s been such a long time since I went to concerts here in Holland. Music is life 🎶💕.

I’m not only feeling lonely because I don’t see a lot of friends here in The Netherlands. I’m also feeling lonely because I don’t see my family that often. I don’t see my brothers that often and also not my little niece from three years. I miss my family so much. As you know I have two older brothers. Rafael has just married with his Spanish wife Verónica in August. They live like 15 minutes away from us by bike. I saw them only twice in a month. One time with the wedding party in Haarlem and the other time at the beach for a short time. Fortunately, they are both coming to eat in two weeks at our home. My other brother Edward lives with his wife Elke and their cute little girl Noanne 2 hours away from us by car in the south of The Netherlands. They are always busy with their jobs and also have their own company of wedding photography. We are all still waiting for the pictures of the wedding of Rafael. I saw them once last year only with Christmas because I was in Spain all the time. This year I have also only see them once with the wedding in Spain. Hopefully, I will see them next month with the light festival Glow in Eindhoven with my mother. Glow is such a beautiful event. All the buildings and the church are with lights. It’s beautiful to see. I will make pictures and videos and maybe let you all see what I mean 💡.

This feeling of loneliness is pretty normal for me and especially living in the Netherlands. You all know by now that I love Spain more than The Netherlands. I love both countries but I just feel more Spanish in the way I’m. I feel more at home in Spain. In Spain family is number one and also friends are really important. They always make time to see each other no matter how busy their lives are. What I also love in Spain is that a friend can just text me or call me and say hey do you want to go to eat some tapas tonight? Of course, I say yes and then we will go out. Here in The Netherlands you always have to plan when you are going to meet each other and it’s difficult to make a plan because the people are telling you all the time I’m so busy omg I’m so busy. I really dislike that sentence so much. Of course, there are a lot of things to do in life but I think you really have to make time to also see your loved ones if that’s important for you.

There’s such a big difference in culture between Spain and The Netherlands. Spain has a collectivist culture and The Netherlands is an individualistic country. In Spain when I meet my friends sometimes more friends will join and it’s all spontaneous whereas here people are looking to their agendas to find a day when they can all meet. People here just like to live their lives alone. I can feel this feeling of loneliness much more here than in Spain. Whenever I have a problem people are more likely to help me in Spain than here. In Spain there’s a high rate of unemployment but still families help each other and find a way out. I really admire their strength and positivity.

Even though I go out almost every day with my mother I’m still feeling lonely. I went twice to the beach last month, drove on my bike and had walks in the park near to my house. I know another big factor of my loneliness is that I don’t study anymore. I’m searching for jobs in Spain and also applied for some jobs. One was about promoting the brand Holland in Madrid and another one was working in the surf shop O’Neill in Madrid. I hope they will answer me soon. I also applied for a job vacancy to work in a surf shop here in Holland. Maybe, I can do that these months to earn some money before I go to Spain in December. I really want to make a living there. When I studied in college I hang out with my classmates and it was all fun. Now, I feel lost in life. I guess my anxiety disorder also makes me feel lonely. I always feel alone in my feelings and thoughts. I’m so happy to have found this blogging community and also my mental health community on my blog and on Instagram. You are all so kind and so amazing. I’m also into reading again and want to write more awesome new content like book reviews on my blog.

Last month I also entered a new community which is the Yoga Girl community on Facebook. I will still write a blog post about her because I have a lot to say about her and she’s just my biggest inspiration in life. I will just keep it short now. Yoga Girl is a famous international yoga teacher and has her own studio Island Yoga in Aruba. She is married with Dennis Schoneveld and has a lovely child called Lea Luna. This community makes me also feel less alone. There are now 12000 people in this group. Everyone is sharing their lifes stories. I read a lot of stories about death, self love, mental illnesses such as anxiety, ocd, depression or anything else, trauma, abuse, yoga, following your dreams and so much more. Everyone is openly sharing. We are all looking for acceptance and understanding in life and that’s what I found in this group. Some people give advice and others are just there for you. Sometimes the best advice you can give to someone is to be there for them. I cried of happiness while reading these amazing stories. I’m so happy to be part of this beautiful community 🌸🙏.

I’ve always felt that the world is a scary place and awful things happen but maybe those thoughts are also caused by my anxiety disorder. I just always felt like I can’t be myself and have to change myself so that people will like me. I’ve been bullied during my high school years which I also shared on this blog and that made me cause low self esteeem. Every day I’m learning more about myself. I’m learning to really love myself. I’m a highly sensitive person and I feel every emotion. I suffer more but also feel more. I’m just so happy to have found my blogging community, yoga girl community and mental health community online. These communites are so amazing. It reminds me that even though in my past and in this world there are bad people there are also so many good people. You just have to find the right people which is your tribe. Those people will always be there for you no matter what💕. Communities are there to make people feel less alone and lonely, to share and be honest with each other.

The support I see in all these communities with each other and which I also receive are just from another planet 🌍. I wish to meet many of you because you seem all so lovely, understanding and caring. The worlds needs more people like you all ❤. I often feel that there are so many people who don’t show their real feelings in life. It feels like it’s better to not feel at all in life. I disagree with that because feeling all those emotions bad or good like anger, happiness, loneliness, sadness is so important. I made the best friends and connections online and in real life with people who are real, honest and can be vulnerable with each other. We have to feel it all in order to let things go in life.

I already made many new friends on Facebook from the Yoga Girl community. Now, I feel less alone. Some of them are Dutch and living in Amsterdam or Leiden so I’m going to meet some of them. I’m just so in need of new friends too because it feels amazing to be able to have deep talks, do yoga and just be surrounded by authentic people. I just wanted to say that even though I never met any of you I know our paths will cross and that this community will heal us all. One of my biggest dreams in life is to go on a Yoga Retreat in Island Yoga and meet Rachel and all those amazing people. Always remember, you are loved. You are enough and you are all so beautiful. You are never alone 💕.

I hope you all liked this blog post. Do you also feel lonely sometimes? What do you do when you feel lonely? Do you also love to be part of a community? It always makes me feel less alone so I encourage anyone to join a community online whether it will be online or in real life. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Love, peace & happiness to you all ❤

xoxo Christina

One year blogging anniversary 🎉🎂🎁🎈💕

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

Before I write a blog post about the wedding of my brother which was last Saturday (11-8-2018). I also have to wait to get the pictures of my brother. Today I want to write a blog post about achieving a blogging milestone: my 1 year blogging anniversary 🎉💕. Today my blog post turned one year. I’m so happy my blog turned one year. I’m so blessed to achieve this blogging milestone. In this blog post I also am going to share some statistics of my blog, reasons why I love WordPress so much and some future plans for my blog in the future.

I’m so happy I began this blog on WordPress just a year ago. I was always thinking if it would be worth it and if anybody would ever read it. I didn’t know that my blog was able to grow. I’m thankful for my 212 followers. I don’t care that much about the numbers but of course it makes me happy that more and more people are following my blog. What I love the most about blogging is interacting with people. I developed beautiful friendships which I value a lot ❤. I never knew blogging would be so much fun. I already had a blog before on Tumblr and interacted with people but then my site got deleted. It was really sad because I had 2000 followers on there. I have a new Tumblr blog. My tumblr blog is more to get inspiration, share pictures from others and find beautiful quotes.

What I love about WordPress is that awesome blogging community. I also found it on Tumblr but sometimes people on there were really negative and depressed and glamorizing mental illnesses. I really don’t like that. On WordPress I feel everyone is more real, honest and able to be vulnerable. I really love that so much. I love that people are able to share the good and the bad in life. This is also the reason why you develop friendships on WordPress. Whenever I read a blog post I feel really connected to that person and can look into their mind. It feels like they’re talking to me. That real connection is just so beautiful.

I also love that I can be myself without feeling judged. You all are so kind, caring and beautiful people. I never knew I would find such amazing people on the internet. I’m happy to be also part of the mental health community on Instagram and here on my blog. It’s great that we have each other back. We are all in this together. I can write about anything on my blog and I love that I’m not afraid to share the good and also the bad in my life. I share a lot about living with an anxiety disorder and how it affects my life. It’s great to know that I’m not the only one going through this mental illness. Sometimes people don’t understand me in real life but here they understand me and respect me. I wish people would do that more in real life too. It’s just so important to know good people who respect you, understand you and care about you.

Internet friends are real friends 💕 How many times have my parents warned me for the dangerous side of internet when I was little. Of course, I know that there are dangers of internet and you have to be careful when you meet someone you’ve met on the internet. I just truly believe that internet friends are real friends even though you don’t see them or can’t talk face to face with them. You can read their inner thoughts and feel their feelings. You can create a real connection. That’s what for me is a real friendship. I really can’t wait to meet you all one day. I guess you all are even more awesome in real life. I also would love to travel with you all, go on adventure, take pictures, tell each other our secrets and just have fun together.

I’m going to share with you now some blog statistics from this year. I hope you don’t find this statistics too borring haha 😂. I found it interesting to share some of them and look back after this one year of blogging.

Followers: 212

Blog posts:
94 (almost 100 posts whoehoe)

Vistants:
1.745

Views:
3.982

Best day:
August the 16th (the day I made this blog!)

Day most popular:
Friday (28%)

Hour most popular:
3:00 (Night owls or my followers who live in a different timezone than me) (8%)

Some of my blog posts who were the most popular and got the most views were:

How being bullied in high school caused me anxiety(56 views)

I’m not good enough 💭 (61 views)

10 life lessons learned in 2017 (78 views)

10 self care tips💞🌠(99 views)

Do you think it’s possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return? 💕 (130 views)

Top 10 countries that visited my blog:

1. United States (635 views)

2. United Kingdom
(384 views)

3. Spain
(274 views which includes me when I check my blog haha 😂)

4. India
(231 views)

5. Canada
(174 views)

6. Poland
(93 views)

7. Ireland
(88 views)

8. Australia
(79 views)

9. Netherlands
(47 views)

10. Italy
(37 views)

I learned a lot of blogging this year. I still don’t know everything of WordPress but every day you learn something new. So, I will take it slowly. I still want to improve my theme. Maybe, I also would to go self-hosted on WordPress. As I read the blog post of Mia I now know the cons and pros of going self-hosted so I would prefer to do it via WordPress. I would not like that nobody can read my blogs again in the reader or encounter other problems. I also would like to share some new things on my blog as book reviews, movie reviews, poems written by me, singing covers (maybe making a Youtube channel but it makes me nervous haha) travel posts, surf adventures, photography and do some blog colloberations. I want to be more creative and share more of the things I love to do. Of course, I will also keep writing about some of my main topics on my blog which are: lifestyle ❤, self-love 💕, mental health 💪, feminism 👭 & wanderlust 🌍.

I’m going to continue to keep blogging for my whole life. I know blogging is also hard work too. I have had times where I didn’t feel like blogging and then I didn’t blog for a few weeks. I felt guilty and bad afterwards because I don’t want to neglect it. Now, I know that’s okay. I don’t have a blogging schedule and  I just love to write and share when I feel inspired. I don’t want to feel like I have to do it because otherwise it’s not that much fun. For now, blogging is just a hobby. Who knows, maybe in the future it could be my job too. We’ll see what the future brings.

I hope you all liked this blog post. What do you like about my blog? What kind of posts would you like that I write about? Do you also think internet friends are real friends? I would love to know suggestions and your opinion. I’m always happy to improve my blog and I will keep writing interesting blog posts. I hope you all are going to continue this crazy adventure called life with me 💕. Thank you for your beautiful friendship and for always holding space for me. You all mean the world to me.

I love you all so much 😍😍😍,

xoxo Christina

10 life lessons I’ve learned in 24 years 

Hola lovely bloggers 💕,

My birthday is exactly in two weeks. I will be 25 years old on the first of June. A quarter of a century… Omg so old hahah. This blog post will about 10 life lessons I’ve learned in 24 years. I hope you can all somehow relate to my life lessons. These 10 life lessons are not in any rank. I find them all equally important.

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1. Not because you took longer than others you failed

I had to do my final exam of college of a subject called Legal Dimension of Europe which was about law in August last year. I did that exam in June too but failed for 0.5 point. I felt overwhelming sad and stressed. I thought I was never being able to graduate. My study was 4 years but I took two years longer because of anxiety and the break up of my first love which was when I was 19 years old. I had to do a lot of subjects these last two years which I skipped before. I made myself feeling so stressed because of those negative thoughts that I would never graduate. At the end, I passed that exam with an 8 in August and could graduate. I learned to never give up because at the end you will succeed. I learned that it doesn’t matter if you took longer than others. It doesn’t mean you failed.

2. Everything will happen in the right time

This is also a point which relate to my words on the first life lesso. There’s not a rule in life which says that you have to graduate at 20, have your first real job at 22, get married at 25 or have children at 26 for example. I learned that everything will happen on my own time. I still sometimes find myself thinking that I have to have my life together now. It’s all okay and everything will happen when it’s your time and when feel ready for it. You have your whole life to make anything happen. Just be patient and try not to stress so much about it.

3. It’s better to have a few real friends than a million of fake friends

I’m now living in Spain and haven’t seen my friends in The Netherlands for like 6 months. I also have some friends around the whole world who I haven’t seen for years. I know they will always be my friends. The distance doesn’t matter if the friendship is real. I learned that it’s way better to have a few good friends than many fake friends. I always wanted to have a lot friends but I realised it isn’t worth to have so many friends. I’m happy I loose contact with fake people because they weren’t my friends. A friend would never bully you, laugh about you or talk behind your back. I learned that you can count your real friends on two hands and that they will always understand you and be there for you no matter what.

4. Blogging made me realise that there are still good people in this world

Sometimes I was thinking about all those horrible things that bad people do in this world. I know there are lot of bad people out there but let’s never forget that there are still good people out there. You just have to find the rights ones. I’m so glad that since I began this blogging adventure last year in August I came in contact with so many amazing people. People who have beautiful values such as being honest, sensitive, vulnerable and real. I love that I made so many great friends online. I love this blogging community so much. I love to make friends with authentic and awesome people like you all are! ❤ Thank you for always holding space for me and for understanding my thoughts and emotions. It means the world to me.

5. Saving money is really important

I have been studying two years more than my actually studies were. I’m not so much as debt as other people I know. I only have a debt around €2500 – €3000. For me, it sounded very much but then my parents said than when I earn money I can pay it soon back. Of course, I would need a well paying job. I have savings on my bank account and I’m trying to save money that I get for example for my birthday. I’m realizing this year that saving money is really important. I know that when I’m going to work I will save some money on my savings account. I could save this money for taking driving lessons once. I’m really afraid to take driving lessons once but I really want to be able to drive. In June, I’m going to have conversations in English with a child and get €12 each hour so I will save this money. The point is that I find saving money sometimes really difficult because I love to travel, buy concert tickets, buy books, buy food and clothes. I hope I can save this year more and more.

6. Family will always be there for you

I love my family so much. We can get along so well even though in some subjects we may agree. That’s all okay. What’s important is that I realised that my family definitely will always be there for me, in good and bad times. I have had some people in my life who were fake friends and left me alone when I felt bad. My family will always support me and not leave me when life gets though.

7. Let all the toxic people go in your life

I’m happy that I let all those toxic people go in my life. I just don’t want to have people in my life who bully me, talk behind my back and laugh at my face. Those are not what friends do to you. It’s really good to let those toxic people go because you will feel so lighter and happier. I only want good people in my life such as my real friends and family who will always support me and help me. Toxic people will only create drama, gossips and make you feel bad about youself. Life is too short for all that drama.

8. Follow only people who make you feel good about yourself on social media

I deleted and blocked a lot of people on my social media accounts because I don’t want to have people who only cause drama and negativity in my life. It isn’t worth it. Social media can be a storm of drama and negativity but it’s important to use it the right way. Unfollow accounts which make you bad about yourself such as a top model who look a certain way. You may think that if you look that way you will be happy with youself when it isn’t true. I love to follow people who inspire me and make me feel good about myself such as a famous international yoga teacher called Yoga Girl also known as Rachel Brathen. I love to follow real authentic people who share the good and the bad in life, who are vulnerable and real. I dislike those accounts who only share the good. Life isn’t perfect and on social media many people only share the good and I just don’t like that because it isn’t real. We all have ups and downs in life. The most authentic people on social media are the ones who show that like Yoga Girl and stay true to theirselves. That’s what make people authentic.

9. Always follow your heart and your dreams

I learned an important lesson as I’m 24 years old right now. This lesson is that you always have to follow your dreams even though you may fail. If you never try, you never know if you will make your dream come true. I’m a strong believer that following your dreams in life is really important and it makes your life purposeful. When I entered the contest to win a trip to New York City and speak at the United Nations I never knew I could win this contest. I won with writing an essay in Spanish about equality of women and men. If I never entered the contest I would never know if I could win. I was so happy to win. My dream was to go to New York City and speaking at the United Nations was just an amazing dream that came true. Always follow your heart and dreams. Deep down in your heart you know what you want but sometimes you are just too scared to take that first step forward to make your wildest and biggest dreams come true. I encourage you to do it because you never know what can happen. It will change your life and you will happy you took that first step forward. Keep on dreaming and dream big! 💕🌠

10. Travell as much as you can, as far as you can and as long as you can

Education will learn you many things but travelling will learn you things about life you don’t learn at school or in college. Travelling makes me come in contact with different cultures and languages. I love travelling and I will never stop travelling. New York City is the place I visited which was the most far away from my home in The Netherlands and Spain. I hope to visit it again and I hope to travel more and even more far away such Australia and South America. Never stop travelling. I’m so happy with all the friends I met. I have friends all over the world and I can’t wait to see them all again. Travelling will make your soul richer with every experience and will definitely make you come out of your comfortzone. You will not regret it. Go travel the world. The world is waiting for you to discover every place of it 🌍

I hope you all liked these 10 life lessons I’ve learned in 24 years. Let me know if you agree or relate to any of these lessons. I will speak to you all in my next blog post! Thank you all for reading.

Much love 😘,

xoxo Christina

Blogging milestone achieved: 1000 likes 💕🎉

Hey lovelies 😍,

Today I want to talk about a blogging milestone which I have achieved. Today when I was scrolling on WordPress I received an awesome notification on WordPress which was that I received 1000 likes on my blog. I just can’t believe it! I’ve now almost 200 followers which is also a big a milestone. I just can’t believe my blog is growing and growing. I’m really so happy about it! 😄

I never told this before I think. My blog name is called Sea of words because I’m deeply in love with the sea. The beach is my favourite place on earth. I love the sea so much and I can’t wait to swim in the sea again in the Summer. I used words because blogging is about writing words. This is the reason why Sea of words would be the perfect blog name. I had to do an x after Sea of words because without the x the blog name was taken. The x doesn’t mean anything haha it’s a kiss for all of you 😘 I made this picture below and wanted to add it as logo on my blog but you couldn’t see that well so I changed it in a picture of the sea without the words.

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In August, I will reach another milestone which is that my blog will turn one year. I never knew I would like blogging so much. I had a Tumblr blog before and had 2000 followers there but for some reason I couldn’t enter anymore so they deleted it. I have a new Tumblr blog since two years I guesss and I really love Tumblr so much. I prefer WordPress for writing blog posts and Tumblr for reblogging awesome pictures, get inspiration and reblog quotes. Tumblr could be sometimes a bit depressed whereas WordPress bring me more good vibes. My Tumblr url is Let the sea set you free. I loved this quote which I saw one day on Tumblr. The sea always make me feel free and makes me forget the whole world around me. This is my Tumblr for anyone interested: Tumblr. I love to write my thoughts and feelings down. When I began with my blog on WordPress I never knew anybody would ever like, comment or even follow my blog to be honest. I’m so thankful that you all follow my blog, like my posts, comment my posts and read every post. It means the world to me.

I love this blogging community so much. I love that everybody is so nice and respectful to each other. This is sometimes hard to find in the real world. I wish to meet you all one day. That would be so much fun! I really consider you all good friends of me. I love be in contact with new cultures and connect with awesome people like you all. You are all beautiful human beings and I wish you all the best. I can’t wait to write more awesome posts in the future and keep reading your blogs.

Maybe in the future I will do a giveaway, do some collab posts, book reviews, travel posts, shopping hauls, fashion blog posts and other cool posts. I’m always looking for new things to add to my blog. I like to write about everything. First, I only wanted to write about mental health but then I thought it’s better to write about more subjects. I get bored easily if I only write about one subject haha. I don’t want to have a niche. My main topics on my blog are lifestyle, poetry, travelling, mental health, self love and feminism. What kind of subjects do you like to include on my blog? What are your favourite blog posts on my blog? I would love to know your thoughts so that I can include this in my blog.

Thank you all for your infinite support! 💕 I wish you all only good vibes!

Love you all so much ❤,

xoxo Christina

Operación Triunfo concert: 16 March 2018 & post concert depression 🎶🎤💜

Hey lovelies 😍,

Today I’m going to share with you all my experience of the concert of Operación Triunfo in Palacio Vista Alegre in Madrid where I went last Friday with my lovely friend Maria. Operación Triunfo is a Spanish talentshow like X Factor, The voice, Idols. I love these singing contests so much because I love singing. I always wanted to enter too but I think it’s not my thing. I would be too anxious. I prefer to sing for fun. Being famous wouldn’t be my thing too. I prefer to have a private life than have million gossips about me written.

Operación Triunfo was on television from October till the beginning of February. There were 16 participants who were living in an singing academy where they could not have contact with anyone outside the academy. They had a special phone where they could share pictures on Instagram but couldn’t see the likes or comments. Once in a while they had a call with their family and at the end they could leave for Christmas for like two days. Their families also visited the academy once when there were only 5 finalists left. Every week there was a live show and there would be two nominations where one would leave the academy. Every week during the liveshow the public had to choose which one they prefer to stay for one week more in the academy.

These are the 16 participants of Operación Triunfo

The public Spanish television RTVE was really happy about the boom of Operación Triunfo. For many years it wasn’t on television anymore and now it came back. It was a huge success. Therefore, they had chosen the representants of Spain for Eurovision from Operación Triunfo. This was a special liveshow. I was so happy that Tu canción (written by Raúl Gomez) was chosen. Amaia & Alfred are going to represent Spain with this beautiful song. Amaia & Alfred together with Aitana are my favourite singers from this talentshow. Amaia & Alfred sang together the song City of stars during the third liveshow. Right in that moment they felt in love with each other. It’s such a beautiful story. Now, they are going together to Eurovision. Tu canción is a beautiful song too. It’s incredible how much I feel every time I hear this song. The melody is beyond beautiful and the words really mean something. I cry all the time when I hear this song. They sing the sentence “I feel like I’m dancing for the first time.” Love is beautiful and doesn’t need a language. Amaia and Alfred are pure magic and love. They are artists ❤

City of stars – Amaia & Alfred ❤

They make me wanna believe again in love. Love is the reason why we are living. Love doesn’t know any borders. Love is just the best thing ever and it’s even more beautiful when two people meet each other through music ❤ Just like Amaia and Alfred sing and with their eye contact and smiles, they tell us everything. I loved the kiss at the end. I don’t care how well this song will do in Eurovision because I know Europe will love them. They are already winners for me and you have my heart. I will forever be fan of Amaia and Alfred because of your emotion and passion for music. I love you till infinity and beyond ❤

This is the videoclip of Tu canción from Amaia & Alfred who will represent Spain in Eurovision in Portugal this year. The videoclip is so damn beautiful 😍 It demonstrates their love story 💕 They are also flying like Peter Pan at the end. Music who makes me feel something is for me the best music ever 😍

The winner of Operación Triunfo was chosen in the beginning of February during the final liveshow and was Amaia. Amaia is the deserved winner of Operación Triunfo 2017. She studies music & piano since she was little. Every time I hear her singing, I’m in love ❤ She is just full of emotion. I love how she is always so authentic, honest and real. I hope she will stay this way. She has such great values and such a lovely family. I really hope to meet you one day and get the chance to speak to you, give you a letter and take a picture with you. She means so much to me. I love you forever and I wish you all the best my darling ❤ I can’t wait to give you a hug one day.

I love this song from Florence and the Machine so much. This is my favourite song. Amaia sang Shake it out during the 9th liveshow of Operación Triunfo. It was definitely her best perfomance ever! ❤

Now, Operación Triunfo is doing a concert tour through whole Spain. The 16 singers are going to perform in many different cities in Spain. The first concert was on the third of March in Palau St. Jordi in Barcelona. I’m in love with all the 16 beautiful participants. They are all so talented. It’s not only the talent which made us fell in love with them. It’s their values, their honesty and sensitive hearts too. Raoul & Agoney kissed each other during the concert of Barcelona and said the sentence: “Love, Liberty and Visibility.” Marina showed on Spanish television that love is love and kissed her boyfriend which is transgender. Aitana showed that you can be friends with a boy named Cepeda. Real friendship exists. Alfred showed us that you don’t have to be ashamed of having a mental illness. He has anxiety and depression. He also donates money and is always thinking about making this world a better place to live in. Together with Amaia they showed us that real love exists and that’s the most beautiful thing in the world. Amaia showed us that shaving is a beauty standard and that women don’t have to shave just to look beautiful. Amaia also showed us that we should all fight for feminism. Roi showed us that the best thing in life is to laugh and make jokes. Everything is better with good humor. They learned us so many important lessons which I’m forever thankful of.

Last Friday (16-03-2018), I went to the concert of Operación Triunfo in Palacio Vista Alegre with my spanish friend Maria. It was awesome! It was definitely one of the best nights in my life ❤ It was such an unforgettable night. I have never seen so many police men, cars and even dogs as security. It always makes me a bit anxious but it’s better to have enough security and be safe. They sang 37 songs from the liveshows. They sang some songs all together, some duos and some alone.

My favourite songs were:

  • Shake it out – Amaia
  • Miedo – Amaia
  • Chandelier – Aitana
  • Issues – Aitana
  • Con las ganas – Amaia & Aitana
  • No puedo vivir sin ti – Aitana & Cepeda
  • Shape of you – Amaia & Roi
  • La bikina – Ana
  • Lo malo – Aitana & Ana
  • City stars – Amaia & Alfred
  • Tu canción – Amaia & Alfred
  • Que nos sigan las luces – Alfred
  • A quién le importa – All together
  • Camina – All together
  • La revolución sexual – All together

Miedo – Amaia during the concert of Madrid ❤

Chandelier – Aitana during the concert of Madrid ❤

Shape of you – Amaia & Roi during the concert of Madrid ❤

Tu canción – Amaia & Alfred during the concert in Madrid. I loved the kiss. They are so cute together ❤

Camina – All together ❤ They have all made this song which is the hymn of Operación Triunfo 2017

We had such good seats: just in front of the stage. There was one moment in the middle that I felt a bit anxious to have a panick attack but fortunately that feeling went away fast. The concert began at 21.30 till 00.00. There were 15.000 people omg!!! We took a taxi from the hotel to the Palacio Vista Alegre because otherwise we would have been too late. There was a big row to enter but we skipped it half way hahha xD. I love the organisation more in The Netherlands than in Spain. It was kinda chaotic. I also felt sometimes that the girls who were sitting near to us were laughing about us. It wasn’t true at all but my anxiety makes me always think about those stupid things…. I also always use ear plugs for concerts or parties because otherwise I will hear a noise in my ear or my ears ringing which cause me anxiety. Sometimes I feel ashamed for wearing it but nobody sees it because I have long hair. Besides, my health is more important than other people’s opinions. During a concert nobody is judging you. They are just enjoying the music.

I have never went to a concert with so many artists. Those 16 participants from Operación Triunfo are just so awesome! ❤ They are real artists and have so many beautiful values and beautiful voices. It was a concert full of magic & love <3. Raoul & Agoney also kissed each other during the concert after they sang together Manos vacias. Love is love <3. Amaia & Alfred also kissed each other too after singing Tu canción. It was such a beautiful concert ❤ Thank you all for an unforgettable night. I cried, I danced, I sang and I felt so alive. I live for concerts because music makes me feel so alive which is the best feeling ever ❤❤❤

Pictures which I have made during the concert

One of my favourite moments during the concert was when Alfred was singing the song “Que nos sigan las luces”. I love his voice, his beautiful values and how he can light up this whole world. He sang this song which means that the lights have to follow us. I loved that moment so much. Seeing all those beautiful lights and hearing this song was so damn beautiful. I felt so happy and alive. You are an amazing artist. I love Alfred so much ❤ They ended the concert singing all together la revolución sexual which means sexual revolution and means that love has no boundaries. Love is love. They ended with some awesome confetti in the air

Que nos sigan las luces – Alfred during the concert in Madrid. Beautiful lights and a beautiful song sang by a beautiful boy ❤

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I made this collage of pictures which I made during the concert. On the picture on the left you can see “Tu canción – Amaia & Alfred”. I bought two shirts online for the concert. I lend my friend Maria a shirt with the text: “Ah I don’t know, buah what a horror”. Amaia always said that during the contest hahah. My shirt has a picture of Amaia & Alfred with the text “I feel like I’m dancing for the first time.” That’s what they sing in the song Tu canción. On the picture on the right you can see them all together singing “Camina”. The picture right below is where they sing all together “Revolución Sexual”.

After the concert we went to the hotel in Madrid which was just a half hour away. We got a bit lost but fortunately we could find the hotel and were there at 1.00 o’clock. It wasn’t that late but we stayed up until 3 o’clock watching all the pictures & videos made of the concert. We felt so happy, emotional and just all emotions together. On Saturday evening we went home to Valladolid. Since that day I feel a bit empty, lost and sad. I guess it’s also because I have a cold and my period together. I will never ever forget this concert. I want to relive it again. They are going to Valladolid in June so maybe I will go to this concert too with Maria. I have “post concert depression” which is the feeling you get the day after you went to a really fantastic concert.

Symptoms include:

1. The desire to relive the concert.
2. Thoughts similar to “The band were right here!” or “I’m never going to see them again”
3. Emotional pain when listening to the band’s music.” (Source: Urban Dictionary)

The best remedy to cure this is to buy again concert tickets hahah. I love going to concerts so much. I’m so happy that even though I suffer from anxiety I can go to concerts where they are millions of people. Never stop doing the things you love to do. I love going to concerts and anxiety will not make me stop going. I can’t wait to see you all again!!! ❤ I love you all so so so much! ❤

For a few seconds me and my lovely friend Maria are famous hahah!!! We were on Spanish television: news of RTVE. Hahaha you can see us in this video. I’m the one with the flower headband and next to me you can see my friend Maria.

You can watch the video on my Instagram where I shared it.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I think this is my longest blog post ever so I’m sorry if it’s too long but I just enjoy talking about Operación Triunfo because it makes me so happy and music is just the best thing in life. Music unites people ❤ Only good vibes! In my next blog post I will write a travel post with some beautiful pictures of my trip to Madrid. Madrid is a beautiful city. I encourage anyone to go to this beautiful city one day! 😄

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Love you all so much 💕,

xoxo Christina

10 reasons why I love December 😍🎄

Hello lovely bloggers 💕,

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YEAHHHH ASDFGHJKL it’s December and I’m so happy that it’s finally December! It’s my favourite month of the year. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right? I find December so special because it’s all about celebrating Christmas and New Year’s Eve with your loved ones and spread love and happiness in the world. This sometimes dark world needs that so much. Especially during that time we have to give more love to those who need it the most.

I’m gonna share now my 10 reasons why I love December so much! 😀 I hope you all agree and if you wanna add something, just write a comment below 🙂 I would love to hear the things you love about this special month: DECEMBER.

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  1. Christmas lights

I think this is one of my favourite things of December. Everywhere you go you see Christmas lights. It’s getting darker and winter is coming. However, all those lights really light up my life and increase my happiness. I love it so much. I have lights in my room too. It’s just makes everything more cozy. I find it so nice to go shopping, to go to a restaurant or go outside and see all those Christmas lights around me. Christmas lights are everywhere. Gotta love it! ❤

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  1. Christmas songs and movies 

I’m so in love with Christmas movies. I love to watch Christmas movies and drink a hot  chocolate with cream or a cup of tea. My favourite Christmas movie is Love Actually. It’s a beautiful movie and all about Christmas and love. My favourite things in life! ❤ I also love the actors. It’s just such a cute movie. I also like the song “Christmas is all around us” in this movie. It’s just so funny! If you never watched this movie, you definitely should watch it 🙂 I also love the movies Home Alone and The Holiday. What’s your favourite Christmas movie? I would love to know. I also love to hear Christmas songs. They makes me feel so happy. My favourite songs are “All I  want for Christmas is you” – Mariah Carey and “Last Christmas” – Wham! 

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  1. Christmas decorations

I love Christmas and its decorations so much. My mother is really obsessed about it too  haha. We have our home in Spain and in The Netherlands always decorated. I really like to  chill in the living room with the Christmas tree and its lights on. It just creates such a  nice and cozy feeling. Its the perfect ambiance. I also love the Christmas decorations  outside and just anywhere you go. It really increase that Christmas spirit.

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  1. Celebrations with your family and friends

This is an important reason why I love December so much. I love to have celebrations with my family and good friends. I love to celebrate Christmas with my family. This is  just such a beautiful time to spend extra time with your loved ones. I didn’t see some good  friends for almost a half year and one of my brothers a year ago because I live in Spain right now. This is the perfect time to see each other again and spread the love. I always celebrate Christmas in The Netherlands at home with my family. I always celebrate New Year’s Eve in Spain with my family. In Spain it’s a tradition to eat 12 grapes at 12 o’clock on NYE. We watch this tradition on the Spanish television. Afterwards, I always go out and celebrate New Year’s Eve with my good friends here in Spain.c45e97fb688cb6b3c83047cf35e0f60e.jpg

  1. Christmas cards

I love to write Christmas cards. I always write a lot of Christmas cards haha this year I wrote again 45 Christmas cards, which includes my dear family and good friends. I love to get Christmas cards. I love handwritten letters in general so much. It means the world to get them. This year I also draw some Christmas cards on my own. I hang all those Christmas cards in my room. Here’s a picture of some cards I draw and wrote this year.

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  1. Presents

I’m not in favor of luxery gifts such as really expensive gifts because it makes me feel spoiled. I find that Christmas sometimes is only about spending much money on expensive gifts and luxery food. I’m always thinking about the people who don’t have that much to spend or children in war. I prefer small gifts and things I really need. Maybe, I’m gonna make a blog post about the gifts I will get this Christmas. I really love to get presents but just little things and cheap things. They makes me so happy! 🙂 Some gift wishes for me this year are a calendar for my room from New York City and a cinema light box. I really want a cinema light box since so long. It will look amazing in my room here in Spain. It’s a box with letters and lights. I also want a bucketlist calendar for my room which looks really cool with quotes and everyday there will be an awesome thing that you can do. I’m so excited for the presents which I will get this year under the Christmas tree!

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  1. Food/drinks

I love the food and drinks in December. I don’t love to eat so much that I get nauseous. I just love to eat little things and enough. In Spain, many people eat way tooo much omg like I don’t know how they will not throw up ugghh xD. I don’t like too much, just enough is good for me 🙂 I love the cookies, sweets and chocolate. My favourite drinks during the cold months is definitely tea and hot chocolate. I love the brand name yogi tea where you can find a quote full of happiness and wisdom ❤ I also love a hot choolate so much. I make them at home with cream and marshmallows mmm ❤ This is my favourite cup of hot chocolate with xoxo. That reminds me of one of my favourite series Gossip Girl haha.

Here’s a picture of a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows which I made a few days ago in my favourite cup xoxo.

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I also love to have my favourite Christmas blanket and advent calendar! I got this calendar from my mommy. It’s always a tradition for me to eat a chocolate every day until Christmas. Every day it’s a different form and has something to do with Christmas 🎄🎅 December begins for me with the advent calendar! I love it haha. It really makes me feel like a child again, so happy and excited 😍😂 . What’s your favourite Christmas tradition? 💭

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  1. Christmas spirit

I think I never mentioned this on my blog before but I’m catholic. Many people forget that  Christmas is celebrating the birth of Jesus. I used to sing in a choir for 11 years. I always had to sing on Christmas eve and at night. It was really so beautiful to sing all those wonderful Christmas carols. I believe in god and I believe that there’s something more. Sometimes I find it hard to believe because there is so much cruelty and war in this world. There are still good people out there even though it sometimes is a dark world. For me, the Christmas spirit isn’t getting the most luxery gifts or eat so much that you will explode. The Christmas spirit is all about giving love to your loved ones and be there for all the people in need.

5 years ago my first love broke up with me and I felt horrible. I felt so sad. I still get sad sometimes with Christmas because it reminds me of that time. I’m forever blessed to have an amazing family and good friends who are always there for me to cheer me up and make me happy. There are many people who feel lonely and sad with Christmas. There are many people suffering with a mental illness, like myself with anxiety, or any other illness or even commit suicide around this time. I would like to think of that people and be there for somebody in need. I always think of the refugees and people who are suffering during a war too. This makes me realise how grateful I have to be for all the things I have in my life. It’s a time of reflection and giving thanks to all the things you have in your life while others don’t have that. We should never take that for granted.

“Serious Request is a family of annual multiday, multimedia fundraising events for International Red Cross initiatives, typically hosted by radio stations in the week before Christmas. During the Dutch 3FM Serious Request, three popular Radio DJs are locked up for six days in a small temporary radio studio (the “Glass House”), placed in a main square in a different city each year. Living on a juice-only fast, the DJs make a interactive, themed broadcast around the clock, while regular programming on the station is suspended. Funds are raised in a few different ways. While the DJs are in residence, they play songs requested by listeners and visitors, in return for their donations. Straightforward donations are made into the project’s bankaccount, and by physical vistors depositing cash and cheques into the house’s letterbox.”

I love this event in The Netherlands so much. Every year it’s a different project. I always ask for a song and donate money. I find it important to donate money to a charity especially around Christmas because I know there are a lot of people who need help and support. I hope you all think of something and help those people in need. They need your support and love! ❤

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  1. Snow

I’m always celebrating Christmas in The Netherlands. It doesn’t snow in the winters months like years before. I don’t like the cold but I love the snow haha pretty strange xD I love a snow landscape so much. I used to take a lot of pictures because it looks just so wonderful and beautiful and omg I’m in just so in love with winter wonderland. The best Christmas feeling is waking up on Christmas day with snow! The best Christmas feeling is a white Christmas! ❤ I really hope that this Christmas it will snow again in The Netherlands. Let’s pray for the best hahah! Who else love snow on Christmas day?

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  1. Lettings things go and new beginnings

I’m also one of those people who make a list of resolutions for the new year and then doesn’t accomplish almost half of it hahah xD. Who else does this? I think every day is a new day to accomplish things and do the things you love. However, the ending of the year always reminds me of letting go all the bad things that happened this year and think of all the things I have learned. I think I’m going to make a blog post about this one too. This one would be about some resolutions for the new year and things I ‘ve learned this year.

A new year is coming and we have to keep everything we have learned this year. It’s all wisdom. I don’t like that sentence of New Year, New Me. I still feel the same when it’s January the first hahah. Every year I learn new things and experience new things in life which makes me grow. That’s what I believe. We can change our life every day and it doesn’t have to be just with this new year arriving. A  year has ended and we are ready for all the new experiences. It’s a time of letting all the bad things go and for new beginnings. I really like that. It makes me happy to let all the bad things go and let all the love for new beginnings and happiness fill my heart <3.

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I hope you all liked reading this blog post. I found it very nice to write this one. Be prepared for more amazing Christmas/New Year related blog posts. I will already say to all of you: Have an amazing holiday season with your loved ones! ❤

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Love you all so much ❤ ❤ ❤

Xoxo Christina