July favourites ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ๐ŸŒŠ

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

I’m really behind some blog posts like my favourites and music reviews which I do every month. I don’t want to feel like blogging is chore because otherwise it ain’t no fun anymore. It just makes me frustrated at times. I still want to keep this series going but not if I get frustrated of not writing it one month. It doesn’t matter right?! It’s okay to write it whenever I feel the passion for it. Let’s move on to my favourites of July. It was a beautiful month ๐Ÿ’•. It seems SO long time ago when it’s just two months ago. I experienced beautiful things such as finally going to Spain, beach days in The Netherlands, had a lunch date with my bestie, bought a beautiful bikini from the surf brand Billabong and more I will share below.

Things I did with my lovely family ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ:

Celebrating the birthday of my brother and niece ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽˆ

Finally after more than a half year I saw my brother and niece ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽ‰. We hadn’t seen them since Christmas time. They live in the South of The Netherlands. It’s almost two hours by car. Due to the pandemic we haven’t seen them which made me feel so sad. Of course we used video call a lot but it’s not the same. My brother’s birthday was on the 14th of July and my niece turned 5 years on the 16th of July. I bought my niece a snow ball to colour in the pages and some glitter stickers which she loves a lot (and me too!! haha!!). I bought my brother some stuff for the kitchen which he needed and Happy Socks ๐Ÿงฆ which he loves a lot. He was very happy with the presents. I missed them so much.

I wish my niece could stay always that little. She’s a lovely princess ๐Ÿ‘ธ. Sometimes I wish to be that little again because you see the world with different eyes. I loved how she whispered in my ears if we could go to my room and play. My room is a fair for her ๐ŸŽก. It’s full of stuff and colours and cute items. Noanne also said that I’m so sweet. My heart melts with her sweet words. She said she would find shells on the beach and think of me. She learns me how to love myself on the moments when I feel I can’t love myself. I love to hear her talking about the universe, the sun ๐ŸŒž, the moon ๐ŸŒœ, the stars โœจ, dinosaurs and everything. They say you learn the most of children which is so true. Their beliefs aren’t shaped. The world is their playground. I truly believe and feel with all that’s happening in the world, we have to go back and find our inner child and play. I don’t mean ignoring the pain and suffering in the world. I just think it’s important to have a balance with that and to always be reminded that there’s still a child in us who would love to be free, wild and making their biggest dreams come true. We need to care about our inner child always. Love yourself just like a child does.

Travelling to Spain โœˆ๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ

I’m SO happy to be back in Spain after 7 months. I’ve missed it so much. I’m happy to see my friends again. You can read about my trip with my mother HERE. I never want to go back to The Netherlands. I love Spain so much and really can’t wait to find work here and live here forever ๐Ÿ˜. I love the people, the food, the sunshine every day and it’s such a beautiful country where you can enjoy mountains, beaches, desserts, forest and just anything. I was anxious to travel but everything went well. I hope that we can keep coming back because I don’t want again to wait so long to go back to Spain. I was also happy to see my friends from my studies at the station of Madrid. It was such a coincidence. I hope to see you guys soon.

Beach days in The Netherlands ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒž

I finally went to the beach after almost one year. My heart was craving it so much. I missed my happy home, my paradise ๐Ÿ’ž. The sea heals everything. I’m forever a mermaid ๐Ÿงœโ€โ™€๏ธ. One day I will live at the ocean and will never have to leave again. We went biking for 18 km. We ate delicious kibbeling, potatoes, salad and a swirl ice cream. It was delicious. Fortunately, it was only raining a bit and we could enjoy the sunshine. Pura vida! We also saw bambi in the dunes. So cute! So blessed with this beautiful world we live in. It’s the little things which mean the most in life. I loved seeing my dear friend from primary school and from my choir at the beach. I missed you so much! It’s been years since we saw each other. I hope to see each other soon again.

Golden hour at the beach ๐ŸŒ…

I’m happy we finally went swimming in the sea. That day we ate a delicious salad at a beach restaurant. We enjoyed a beautiful sunset on the beach. It’s one of those beautiful moments you wish that last forever. So magical and pure ๐Ÿฅฐ. My wild heart is full of freedom, love and happiness on the beach. The bad thing was that we biked ๐Ÿšฒ for 30 km long haha . On the way back home the bridge was broken so we had to go through whole Haarlem to go back home. Our home is surrounded by water so we really needed to through another bridge to come home lol. It was a beautiful and unforgettable day.

Enjoying ice creams ๐Ÿจ๐Ÿ˜‹

I enjoyed some delicious ice creams with my mother. I love the Italian ice creams near to where my brother lives. We always go by bike. I had one with mint chocolate chip ice cream and straciatella. My mother had one with lemon and whipped cream. It was all so delicious!

Watched The Beauty and the Beast, Grease and Up for love ๐ŸŽฌ

I watched some nice movies with my mother. I loved The Beauty and the Beast so much. One of my favourite actresses is Emma Watson. She is the best! I cried watching this beautiful movie. I loved it so much. I also loved watching Grease on a Summer night in Holland. Grease is just such a feel good movie and perfect for the Summer. I love the songs so much. They make me SO happy. I watched with my parents Up for love too which is a movie about a man who is very little and falls in love with a woman. They make jokes about him because of his length. It’s a great movie which let us see that everyone deserve the right to live a good life and that people have to be more kind to each other and not judge anyone.

Things I did with my lovely friends ๐Ÿ’•:

Lunch date with my bestie along the river in Haarlem ๐Ÿ’ž

I had such a great day with my bestie in Haarlem. We basically ate and drank all day long hahaha. That’s why we are best friends ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿด. We had a delicious lunch at Ted’s place. We loved it so much. My bestie ate a portobello sandwich with hummus and spinach and I had a delicious vegan French toast with fruits, almond milk, cinnamon sugar and maple syrup. I also loved the fruit smoothie so much with acai, strawberry, blueberry, blackberry, banana and more. It was such a aesthetic place to eat. The sun was shining too which was perfect. I’m also happy I finally bought some Summer clothes. As dinner we ate at Freakin Vegan. We loved the burger, wrap and green tea. We ate the whole day vegan and I LOVED IT. I can’t wait to eat more vegan food because it’s better for the environment, good for your health and it’s delicious too ๐Ÿ˜‹.

Beautiful pen pal letters ๐Ÿ’Œ

I got some beautiful letters this month. I got one from Rosie which I loved so much. I loved the goodies too. I loved the quote card. I got a new pen pal friend too. I loved the post from Katherine. I also loved the mail from my lovely friend Chloe. The handmade card from sunshines is so cute and makes me SO happy!! I also love the moon card and the stickers. Thank you for being one of my best friends. I love you all so much.

Sharing circle with Yoga Girl ๐Ÿ’–โœจ

I loved the first sharing circle I joined on Zoom. I was anxious to do it. It was the best thing ever. It’s so special and so sacred. Thank you Rachel and the whole Yoga Girl team for making this happen. I love this community so much. Together with more than 60 people we entered a safe space to share our feelings, thoughts and we hold space for each other. We listened and did meditation all together. It was SO pure, honest and beautiful I cried. Then we met our partner and talked about our struggles with them. One has to speak and the other has to stay silent. You think that’s easy but it isn’t. We are so tend to intreput each other and give each other advice. Rachel said we have the answers in our own heart. We always seek advice from others but we know ourselves the best. We have to listen more in life instead of talking. We need our hearts to hold space for us. I loved my sharing partner from Germany. It was an amazing talk. Thank you so much! I can’t wait to go to a yoga retreat in Aruba ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ผ too. We are all walking each other home. Love you all! ๐Ÿ’–

Other amazing things of July ๐Ÿ’–:

New bikini from Billabong ๐Ÿ‘™

I finally got a new bikini!!! I really needed one because the ones I have are too big now. I think it’s because of washing them. I bought one online and thank God it fit perfectly. I love all the surf brands ๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ. Billabong is one of my favourites. I love the new bikini which is green, black together with sunflowers on it. I’m using it a lot this Summer. It costed โ‚ฌ40 instead of โ‚ฌ70 so big sale. I bought it on Zalando. I love this website.

New dresses and floral shorts ๐Ÿ‘—

I bought some nice clothes the day I went on a lunch with my bestie in H&M. I bought some nice floral shorts and a red dress. I didn’t had any Summer clothes in The Netherlands so I really needed to have some haha. I also bought a beautiful blue floral dress from Shein. I’m happy with my new clothes.

Virtual concert of Operaciรณn Triunfo ๐ŸŽถ

I saw a virtual concert of the Spanish talent show Operaciรณn Triunfo. It was from Madrid, WiZink Center. I loved it so much. I was also a virtual public there. They could see us from the stage. I danced a lot, sang and had lots of fun ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐ŸŽค. Of course, I miss going to concerts. I really can’t wait to go to a concert again because it has been more than a year since I last went to one. There’s nothing more precious than being in a concert and seeing your favourite artist live. It gives me so much happiness and makes me feel so alive!!

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you liked it. Do you like my new bikini and new clothes? Do you like to eat vegan food? What did you do in July? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

I faced my anxiety again and got my second wisdom tooth extraction! ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿฆท๐Ÿ‘Š

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

On the 24th of August I faced my dentist anxiety again. By then I still had to get rid of three wisdom teeth. Now only two ๐Ÿฆท๐Ÿฆท lol it sounds less which makes me feel a bit more calm and happier. Yeahhhh I say byebye again to one wisdom tooth! ๐Ÿ˜‚. In this blog post I will tell you about my experience. I always love to talk about the things I fear on my blog and also related to anxiety because I know I’m not the only one facing these fears. It makes me feel less alone and writing release some anxiety which always good. Writing means healing and letting go.

So, the night before I was SO anxious again ๐Ÿ˜ญ. People say that the more you do something, the less scared you are. It ain’t no true when you suffer from a mental illness like anxiety. I still feel anxious even if I do something a million times like flying or going to the dentist. My heart was beating fast the night before and the day itself which was Monday. My appointment was late in the afternoon. I felt nauseous too. I always don’t eat much when I do something which scares me because otherwise I have to tendency to vomit because of anxiety. It always makes me feel ashamed to admit that but it doesn’t matter because everyone has something. There’s no person in this world who is never anxious. I just feel it a million times more which makes it so hard. The last time I went for a wisdom tooth extraction was in January. This time I could except more what would happen which maybe made me feel a bit more grounded. I also went swimming a lot the days before and did some meditation but I still felt so anxious.

I deciced together with my dentist that the best thing is to do it one by one. People said to me why don’t you just get rid of the four in one time. That treatment would be longer, I would have more pain and even more anxiety. Here in Spain they do it one by one, much better. Besides, I have to do what makes me feel good and not what other people except me to do. As I suffer from anxiety, I prefer to do things in parts. If you are anxious about something like going to the dentist or studying for an exam, a good way to release some anxiety is to break that daunting task into little parts. This way your brain will take it better. For me it works. I get really overwhelmed when I have to do something scary all at once.

The thing which makes me keep going to the dentist even though I’m scared is trust. I trust this dentist and his team. I trust them with all my heart ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ™. I’m always afraid of people hurting me because of being bullied in the past. It makes me trust people less. Here I feel safe and respected. If I’m anxious, so be it. If I cry then that’s okay too. Trusting in people whether those are professionals, your friends or family is so important. We all need this in life. It gives us a sense of safety. I had to wait at the dental clinic with my mother for more than a half hour because there were more people. I drank some water and prefered to wait there then go outside. I was the last one because they close at 8.30/9.00 PM. Fernando (the dentist) came and I was like bybye I will go run away ๐Ÿคฃ. He found that funny. I love it how you can call them their first names and they do the same with me. It makes it all less scary and more familiar.

So, I lay down and said how I would prefer to be on a beach right now. He laughed. I really find it funny how dentists talk with their patients while they are doing stuff in their mouth it’s like halooooo how can I talk normally?! I know they do it to ease the tension and be less anxious. Just when he was putting the local anesthesia in my mouth he asked me if I was working or studying. I said no. I said that I spent my time crying and having anxiety in life. It’s not totally true but I said that I’m also writing for some poetry competitions. Unfortunately I didn’t win any of them. Then he said oh you can have a blog. I said that I have one. I said: “I wrote about you haha”. Fernando: “I hope it was something positive.” I said: “No haha ๐Ÿ˜‚.” He looked at me like big eyes ๐Ÿ‘€. I was like no of course something positive! ๐Ÿ’ž He was happy to hear that. End well haha. It’s so nice to talk to him because it feels like I’m talking to a friend instead of a doctor.

This time I felt the needle ๐Ÿ’‰ of the local anesthesia even less. I got again the squeeze shark haha ๐Ÿฆˆ. I have it in my hands and can squeeze it. It helps for people who are anxious. Fidget toys help too. Fernando is even specialised in people who have anxiety because he definitely makes me feel so at peace. He said breath in slowly, breath out slowly and it worked. Then my mouth was numb and he could take my teeth out. It took a bit more time to get this teeth out but eventually it went well. All the time he asked if I had pain and I said no. I just felt some pressure. Then I heard click and that moment was the one he took my teeth out. There wasn’t even much blood. This time I saved the teeth. It’s now at home haha I will keep it for the tooth fairy lol. I wish I were that young again. I don’t know what he does but he is amazing. Best dentist evah. I really love them so much ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ญ.

He prescribed me again antibiotics, probiotics and ibuprofen for the pain. We had a lovely chat afterwards. He said that maybe I could have low blood pressure if sometimes I’m dizzy and anxious. He wanted to go to Mallorca but this year he won’t go on holidays because of the pandemic. I told him he is very tan haha. He is just really handsome. We got a free toothpasta. He said he don’t watch so much news which is much better. Then he told us a horrible story. Fernando said a man from 82 years old died by suicide this year because he was done with reading only negative news ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜ข. It really hit him because he was a patient of him. It happened in front of the dental clinic. It’s really horrible to know that so many people are suffering now from mental health illnesses and nobody is doing saying anything about it. This pandemic is hitting us all hard economically, health wise too and mentally. I stopped reading and watching the news these last months because I couldn’t cope with it too. I get into a negative and anxious spiral which is difficult to get out of. I just want to know some stuff regarding travelling because we are always between Spain and The Netherlands but that’s it. I know me, my mother and my friends follow the safety measures which are washing our hands, wearing a mask and do social distance. I can’t control others so that’s it. It makes me so sad that this man didn’t had any support and felt so low to end his life. My heart is with him.

After this talk Fernando said don’t forget to have the gauze 20 minutes. I said yes but uhhh it was 30 minutes, right?! He said 10 minutes has passed now haha talking. We both laughed lol I really these chats so much. Everything goes so smoothly and so chill. It feels like I’m chilling with a friend. I have felt so much emotions these days. I was feeling low and high on energy. After having so much anxiety I felt relief and I felt again the feeling of letting something go. I may loose all my wisdom teeth but at the end I gain wisdom from this experience. I felt also very tired these days, maybe it’s because of the meds. The first night I couldn’t sleep on the side I always sleep so it frustated me. I had pain for a few days and now I feel almost like normal again. I ate solid food, some soft bread, gazpacho which is a delicious cold Spanish soup, tortilla de patata, pasta and veggie pures. It was all so delicious. I miss pizza ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ˜‹ though haha.

On Wednesday I went again for a check up at the dentist I had this white dress on and make up. I love to look good for myself. Then I was sitting on the chair and he said that I looked very good (Estรกs muy guapa). And then without thinking I said haha for you ๐Ÿ˜‚. This is me being direct always ๐Ÿคญ. Fernando found it funny lol. He also said that the lower wisdom teeth removal will hurt a bit more but nothing like a brave woman like me won’t be able to tolerate. I felt completely flattered. If more men would be like him, this world would definitely be a better place. Of course, I love to look well for me. I will never ever again change myself for anyone. In the past I’ve done that which means wearing high heels for my ex but I really hated it. He said it made me have more self confidence. Wrong!!!! I did that for him. He said all girls wear high heels. I let the wild woman roar ๐Ÿบ, the more authentic and honest I’m with myself. Not everyone likes that but that doesn’t matter. This is me. I’m my beautiful self which is the best way I can be. I’m a wild woman, watch me rise up ๐Ÿ”ฅ

The thing is that sometimes I feel like I’m in love with this dentist ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฅฐ. Maybe it’s just me being cray cray haha. I think this feeling is normal when doctors take such good care of you, respect you and know how to care about your mental health too. I come from a traumatic experience in The Netherlands where a dentist said I’m childish and 15 years old. Now, I have a totally different experience which makes me feel in awe with the world. There are so many good people out there who wants best for you. Someone who gets me when I’m anxious deserves it all. I really need it. I don’t know if these feelings are mutual lol in love what?! I guess he just knows how to be there for me and make me feel less anxious. I hope that the next two times I have to go will go also well even though I still will be anxious. That will not change because I’m an anxious person but of course it’s not part of my personality. It will never be. I’m a loving, sensitive and caring person who suffers from anxiety. That’s the difference. We are all in this together. We are never alone in our struggles. I’m always here for you all ๐Ÿ™.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you liked it. Did you also had to have a wisdom teeth extraction? Was it painful? What do you think of the things my dentist said to me? Is it love haha? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’ž,

xoxo Christina

Happy three year blogging anniversary! ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŒปโœจ๐ŸŒˆโœŒ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽˆ

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’ž,

I’m so happy to write this blog post! On the 16th of August my blog turned three years ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‚๐Ÿพ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ˜. Happy three years blogging anniversary to my lovely blog and safe space! โœจ I can’t believe I’m blogging for three years already. I even forgot that it was today due to the crazy times we live in right now. I never take my blog for granted. I’m so proud of this achievement. My life wouldn’t be the same without my blog. It’s a seed ๐ŸŒฑ I planted 3 years ago which grew. I’ve almost 500 followers now. I will tell about some blogging plans I have in this blog post, some statistics and just some thank you words because I’m so grateful for all of you who have supported me during this crazy adventure. I love you all so much ๐Ÿ’ž.

I have always loved writing. I used to write in journals and diaries ๐Ÿ“. I still write some of my thoughts and poetry in a journal. I would love to use it more though. Writing is a form of expressing myself in a way I can’t while speaking. I also would love to be able to write some songs because I love singing too. Writing definitely heals our heart. We are told to not share our struggles or our feelings when it’s so much better if we do it in order to heal our hearts. Blogging makes me so happy. I never knew that I would meet so many amazing and beautiful people like you all are. You all mean the world to me. I really wouldnโ€™t know what I would do without you all. Your support and love makes my heart glow from happiness. You all mean so much to me. You make me all so happy and I love to get inspiration from you all. I hope you also get inspired โœจ by my words and feel less alone.

To be honest, I never expected my blog to grow and find such inspirational people on there. I remember I was searching on Google three years ago on how to gain followers or grow my blog. If I knew back then that it will just happen day by day. I just have to be myself and create quality content. It has to make me happy and if it makes me happy then it can make others happy too. Not everyone has to like you and you have to be okay with that. There will be always people out there who won’t agree with you but that doesn’t make you a bad person. Not everything is about us. The internet can be a nasty place but also such a beautiful one. The blogging community is the loveliest community ever. We all respect each other and are there for each other. It’s so rare to find nowadays. I love to write about mental health, self love, feminism, travel trips, poetry, books, new music which comes out and just anything I love or want to share. I don’t like to have a special niche because I love to write about anything I like without having to limitate myself. I’ve always a lot on my mind so I love to share it with you guys haha ๐Ÿ˜‚โค๏ธ.

Now, I would love to share some blogging statistics from this year. I love to be able to look back and think about how much my blog grew during these three years.

Some blogging statistics from this year:

Followers: 499 (Almost 500 whoehoe, last year I had 379)

Blog posts: 211

Views: 20.384 (Wow over 20K!)

Visitors: 12.584

Best day: April the 7th 2019, the day I got the most views

Day most popular: Monday, a new week! (18%)

Hour most popular: 11:00 PM (6%)

Some of my blog posts wich are the most popular and got the most views were:

I will never hurt people the way they hurt me (444 views)

Hey, you. Donโ€™t give up, okay? โœจ (394 views)

I feel like everyone is living their best life, except me (311 views)

A to Z of my favourite things in life (300 views)

Do you think itโ€™s possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return? ๐Ÿ’• (1002 views, I guess many followers come to my blog from this blog post, it’s also one of my favourite posts)

Top 10 countries that have visited my blog ๐ŸŒ:

I find this such an amazing thing to look at when I look at the statistics. So many people from all over the world visit my blog. Itโ€™s so crazy! I think itโ€™s amazing. Sometimes I also see countries which I donโ€™t know such as Palau, Togo or The European Union lol which is not a country. I exactly know which bloggers friends visit my blog when I look at the stats haha.

1. United States (3713 views)

2. United Kingdom (937 views)

3. India (866 views)

4. Canada (465 views)

5. The Netherlands (453 views, including my views haha)

6. Philippines (338 views including me)

7. South Africa (313 views)

8. Indonesia (259 views)

9. Australia (246 views)

10. Singapore (210 views)

One of my blogging plans in the future would be to go self hosted one day. I will do that when I don’t have any free space left. I’m anxious to do that because I heard stories of bloggers loosing their content. If you do it on WordPress it wouldn’t be a problem, right?! I would love to learn more about this topic. I also would love to be able to maybe earn money from my blog. I invest so much time in it and I’m still looking for a career. I would love to be able to gain money while being a writer. I hear people saying how difficult it is. I know that already but what if I make my dreams come true. What if we all make our wildest and biggest dreams come true? ๐ŸŒ  It doesn’t matter what others tells us because we have the right to persue whatever we want to achieve. I believe the universe has a plan for all of us.

One of my other goals is to gain 1000 followers. It isn’t about the followers but it’s nice to be able to reach this blogging milestone. It will take time and patience and I will keep blogging. I don’t like all those influencers and people only focusing on followers and numbers because it isn’t the most important thing. It isn’t real. I would rather have less followers but the ones I have being active and not passive followers or ghost followers which exists a lot these days. I also don’t like those bots on Instagram which only post disgusting comments always. It’s annoying ๐Ÿ˜’.

I also would love to be able to meet you all one day ๐Ÿ˜. That’s one of my biggest dreams because it would be so nice to finally be able to see you and hug you all. We can’t hug now due to this pandemic but hopefully soon we can. I would love to guide you in Spain or in The Netherlands. I would also love to be able to travel to your country and see more of the world. I love travelling the world. I would love to talk with you about my life, dreams, fears, the things I love or just anything. We could go for a drink, eat some delicious tapas, go to a concert together ๐ŸŽถ, write blog posts together, sing, dance ๐Ÿ’ƒ, surf ๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ, take pictures and just enjoy each other’s company. It would make me the happiest girl in the world. I’ve made life long friends because of blogging.

I just want to say thank you for everything. I’m so blessed to have you all in my life ๐Ÿ™โœจ I love my real life friends and online friends so much.  Everytime I feel my life is turning upside down and I feel like the clouds are crying with me I turn to my blog and I begin to write about everything whatโ€™s on my mind no matter how dark or heavy itโ€™s. You guys always help me in these moments. You are always there for me. I appreciate that so much. It feels good to know that I’m not alone in my struggles and that there’s someone who understands me and cares about me even when we have never have met. Online friends are real friends too. I canโ€™t wait to meet you all one day. We will ALWAYS be friends โค๏ธ yeahhh.

Thank you all for reading this happy blog post. I hope you liked it. What do you love about my blog? Do you think we will ever meet? Do you think that internet friends can be real friends too? What are some blogging plans you have? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

I love you all so much ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’žโœจ,

xoxo Christina

I see humans but no humanity ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜ข

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

I wanted to write a more happier post but I always want to be honest on my blog so I won’t do that. I’m always vulnerable and real on my blog. I always write straight from my heart. Writing straight from my heart also gives me the most inspiration. I don’t like to plan blog posts. It has to flow like life too. These days I don’t feel okay so I will write about my feelings and thoughts. I hope you are all okay and safe. I’m here for you too. This blog post will be about my health, how I feel and about humanity. It feels good to write it all down and have a more sense of peace in my mind.

I was very happy the first days I arrived in Spain. I have been eating delicious tapas, ice creams ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿจ๐Ÿง, milkshakes, enjoyed the sunshine ๐ŸŒž and went swimming a lot ๐ŸŠโ€โ™€๏ธ. The last days I have felt low and kinda depressed. I also had my period so I’m always more sensitive to everything during that time of the month. Besides, I’m really tired and my throat hurts a lot when I swallow, drink or eat something. It feels like it’s swollen too. If anyone knows me well, you know how anxious I’m about dentists or doctors so I will wait a few more days. The bad thing is that nowadays many people think easily oh no it’s Corona when you can have something else. I don’t have fever or anything. I just hope that it will go away soon. I really want to feel better again.

I also am beginning to feel anxious again to have to go to the dentist in two weeks. I still have to get rid of three wisdom teeth but it’s really draining me. I’m so done with it. It makes me so anxious ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿฆท. The dentist and his team are very lovely but it’s still no fun. Again feeling numb, then not eating a few days and taking meds for pain. It was worse than I imagined but still not fun. The anxiety I feel is always worse than the thing itself. Anxiety is a monster and I would love to be able to tame it one day. I will use valium to calm myself down. I’m so grateful for my mother who is always there for me to hold my hand and be at my side. I couldn’t do anything scary without her help. I really would be so lost. I love her so much. She is the kindest and most loveliest person ever.

I’m a highly sensitive person which means that I feel every emotion more. I feel others suffering more and also love more. It’s a gift but can also be a curse sometimes. I feel others pain deeply. Some of my friends are dealing with emotional stuff. I feel them. I feel people suffering from the pandemic. It hurts me so much to see so much pain in the world. I have been feeling very emotional and sad too these days. I can’t deal with people doing bad things to good people. It breaks my heart ๐Ÿ’”. Why is there so much hate in this world? Why can’t people just be nice and kind to each other or is that too much to ask for? I really would love to have some answers on that but I don’t have. I don’t know why bad things happen to good people. It’s so unfair.

I have felt this way too because of the harrasment which yoga_girl is receiving just because she said that’s better not to travel now to Aruba from a country with a high risk of the virus. Aruba suffers from an economic crisis because it depends on tourism. I can understand that but the health and safety of the citizens are more important. I think that’s obvious. I just can’t understand how people find it okay to treathening other people lives. It’s so scary. Rachel and her family have received hate and what’s worse than that is threats. They even stalked their house. I’m happy they are safe now. It would be a shame if they have to move because of some locals being aggressive to them. I’m so happy to be part of the yoga community and will forever be โœจ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’–. We are all here for you guys. Rachel, you are such a light in this world and have healed so many hearts including mine. I’m still healing though. I can’t thank you enough. Be safe. I love you so much.

I have also noticed that I feel more like myself these days. The more I feel, the more I feel like myself because this is who I’m. I get anxious, I get depressed, I feel low but I also can be happy and feel gratitude in my heart. I feel it all. Even though sometimes I find it really hard to live in this world because there are so many scary things and bad people out there too. I’m grateful for the good people I have in my life. I’m so happy to have this beautiful blogging community too who’s always there for me too. I can’t wait to meet you all one day and thank you. You are always there for me when I’m sad and celebrate my happy days. We will always stick together forever.

I wish there would be more people like you all in this world ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ™. Sometimes I definitely feel like there are so many bad people and things out there. I get scared and anxious and feel such a heavy feeling on my shoulders. I wish for peace, respect and compassion and being one with the world. What the world needs right now is union and not more separation ๐ŸŒ. There’s already too much of that and it didn’t bring anything good.

May we all find the light and love in our own hearts and spread it to the world โœจ. This world needs healing, so much love, compassion and kindness. It will never be enough. What this world needs right now is a group hug which would be now in distance with the pandemic but you all understand what I mean. More love, less hate. More compassion, less cold-hearted people.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you can understand and respect my feelings. How are you feeling lately? Are you also anxious of going to the doctor or dentist? What do you think of humanity? Do you also find it unfair that bad things happen to good people? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post. Be safe you all and remember we are never alone in our struggles. Like I always say, we are always in this together ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’–.

I love you all so much ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Holaaa from Spain after 7 months not being able to travel! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒด๐ŸŒป

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿฅฐ,

I’m finally back in Spain since last Tuesday. I CRY BECAUSE I MISSED IT SOOOO MUCH ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿฅฐ. Just writing this makes me cry again and gets me so emotional. I’m behind some other posts but I think I’m not going to write them anymore. I have been feel a bit stressed about my blog lately like I have to blog about this, not miss this and it’s not good. I’m always a perfectionist so when I finally do something after procastinating then I want to do it good. I prefer quality blog posts then just posts for the sake of it. This blog post will be about my journey to Spain, how I feel, things I have on my mind and how things are right now due to this pandemic. I really missed having a good chat with you guys. This post is basically going to be a rant haha ๐Ÿ˜‚. I hope you will like it.

I can’t believe we are already in August like wtf this year is the longest and the shortest ever ๐Ÿ˜ณ. How do you feel about it? So much has happened in the world these months because of the pandemic. I really imagine myself cheering the new year last year and we all didn’t know what was about to come. It makes me feel bittersweet though. I don’t know how to feel about a new year coming because I don’t know what we have to except. The best thing is having no expectations and just going with the flow. I read a beautiful quote a few days ago which said that so much can happen in 6 months which is true. So, I hope these last 5 months will turn out fine or better than these last months.

In my life, not that much has happened. I still have no job but right now it’s even more difficult to find one related to what I studied. I studied European Studies which is a broad study with a wide range of subjects such as marketing, languages, international relations and politics. I also really find myself thinking of how I would love to make a living out of writing. I crave it so badly. I also love doing yoga, reading, travelling, singing and surfing so much. I’ve also sometimes dreamt about how amazing it would be to build a surf school related to mental health problems to provide people help and support while enjoying the ocean. I can’t wait to maybe go to the beach and surf this Summer in Spain ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ. I miss the sea so much. Maybe those dreams are wild but it would be so amazing. I still feel kinda stuck related to thinking about a career. I used to apply to some jobs in Spain but got no answer. I even did an interview for a internship and never heard back. It’s more difficult right now. I also got information to take an exam for a job in the public sector which is mandatory in Spain. I just don’t know and still feel lost after so many years. It’s normal I say to myself. Anxiety also gets in the way. Some people see it as excuse but they have no idea how hard it’s to live with it and being expected to do everyday stuff.

I also entered some writing competitions. I didn’t won the one from Barcelona. At least I tried. Besides, Barcelona is now more at risk so it’s better not to go. I will hear about the poetry contest about mental health next month. I will also maybe join another contest these days which is about my city Haarlem, in The Netherlands. They are looking for a city poet who will write for them and also earn โ‚ฌ3000 euro each year and will even have the opportunity to publish a book about poems of Haarlem. I will join and we will see what happens next. I have already a no but you never know what may be the result.

Thanks to the pandemic which is also strange to I’m also grounding myself more and being present with all the things I have. I have been doing yoga and medititation many times in a week ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™€๏ธโœจ. It’s so good. I feel more lost and less calm when I don’t do it. It’s been a such a healing tool and I will stick to it forever. I can’t wait to be able to have a job, save money and go to a yoga retreat in Aruba and finally meet Yoga Girl and the whole community. I love it so much. I don’t have a yoga mat here in Spain but I will use maybe a camping mat until I have one here. I crave connection so much. It’s the best. It reminds me I’m never alone and that I always have people behind me. I did a sharing circle on Zoom with Yoga Girl and more than 60 people joined a few days ago which I will share more about in my July favourites. It was so special and omg I also felt anxious and strange. I had never done it before. In real life it would be even more intense. We did a meditation and then we got a sharing partner. We had to talk about our struggles and the other person listened and didn’t give advice. It’s much more powerful then just always interrumpting a person. Rachel Brathen (Yoga Girl) said that we have our answers in our heart. These sharings are so much more powerful than anything else ๐Ÿ’–. I got emotional when I listened and my partner too. I can’t wait to do it many more times.

I’m happy to be back in Spain but also feel mixed feelings. Nothing is normal anymore. Our trip went very well. I was so happy to go but never felt so anxious before a trip. I really didn’t like some of my family members and also a friend of my mother saying we are irresponsible to go to Spain when we are very careful. I couldn’t sleep the night before. I felt so unwell and anxious. I hate to get influenced but others because our trip went super well. We had to wear masks, do social distance and wash our hands often. Nothing new. I’m more used now to wearing a face mask almost all the time because it’s mandatory here in Spain ๐Ÿ˜ท. In Holland it’s only mandatory in public transport and in a regio of Amsterdam and Rotterdam. I changed my mind and think it’s very important to wear it even though it’s a struggle in the heat. We passed the security in 15 min. We drank some tea and ate a croissant and went to the gate. Boarding was nice, the flight was great without any turbulence. There were almost no people. I watched High School Musical ๐ŸŽถ. I loved it. I had never watched it before.

When we landed in the airport of Madrid, they checked our QR-code which is the health paper you have to fill in before you go to Spain. Then you pass a control and there are camera’s above which check your temperature. There are also nurses there in case you are feeling bad. Everything is clean and well organised. We got our suitcases, took a taxi to the station of Madrid and there suddenly I saw my good friend Pedro and his girlfriend. I love to always meet people as a surprise. We ate delicious Spanish food with them and waited for the train. It takes one hour to go to Valladolid by the high speed train. Then we took a taxi home and in the afternoon we were safe and sound at home. I thought something would happen during the trip or I would feel more anxious. I felt more calm because everything went well. I don’t want to listen to scary stories anymore or watch too much news. We are safe and will do anything to stay safe. We can’t stay forever in our homes too.

These days I have been resting in Spain in our home, eating some delicicous tapas and just walking in nature. We also went already to the swimming pool which we love so much ๐ŸŠโ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŒž. I have to enjoy it now before I get my period which I hate even more in Summer. There’s no beach here so the pool is the best place to be. I’m just so much more happier here. It’s been so hot here, like 37 degrees. Right now, it’s 30 degrees. I love Summers in Spain so much. I really craved it. This week I will finally see my friends which I missed so much. I also saw a new restaurant with vegan food and poke bowls omggg can’t wait to try it. I will celebrate my birthday with my friends there ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿค—. I also saw a new yoga studio. Maybe will go there too. I also will go the hairdresser soon. I can never cut much just the death ends and my bangs because I didn’t went for like a year. I also have to go to the dentist end of month to get rid again of one wisdom teeth ๐Ÿฆท. I’m anxious about that again but maybe a bit less than in January. I told about my experience here. It’s still a struggle so please guys be there for me and send me love. I need it. I just know I have no other choice because I have sometimes strange feelings and pain. I can’t wait to be able to say I faced this 4 times and it went well.

I’m really happy to be here but I also feel sadness in Spain. I see elderly walking and I get emotional thinking of how many people have died here and all over the world. In Spain people are so social and always together. The Netherlands has a individualistic culture. It’s so different. You see less people and people are afraid which is normal. Night life is different too. I don’t miss fiestas so much because what I need in life is more connection and deep talks rather than being drunk all the time. It’s been ages for me and I’m really happy to have gone a different way in drinking alcohol. I don’t need to drink much to have fun. The virus is still here and we have to be careful. They are putting some villages in Valladolid in lockdown again which just means that it isn’t over. I hope you all stay safe this Summer and have fun. We are all in this together ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ™.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope it wasn’t too boring. I hope you all liked it. What are you up to during this Summer? How are you feeling? How is your physical and mental health? What do you think of what I wrote? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Summer bucket list 2020 ๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ„๐ŸŒด๐Ÿง๐Ÿน๐Ÿธ๐Ÿ’ƒ

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

Before I share a birthday haul post which is a bit overdue hahah I want to share this blog post. I’m going to share again a Summer bucket list ๐ŸŒž. I often write down 100 things in a journal but it isn’t all achievable of course. I will try to only point down the most important things. If you make a long list of things you want to do, you most likely will not do them all. It could maybe overwhelm you instead of having fun and doing them. This Summer I want to be happy and enjoy life while being safe and follow the safety measures of the pandemic. We all have to enjoy our Summer time but we also have to keep aware and know that the Coronavirus isn’t away. We still have to keep distance, wash our hands and be careful ๐Ÿ™. Let’s get started! ๐Ÿ’–

  • Fly to Spain โœˆ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ

I can’t wait to go to Spain because we didn’t went there since Christmas time. I’m mostly always a bit anxious of travelling. I have to admit that I’m now more anxious to go because of all the things you have to do while travelling. You have to wear a mask in the airplane and during the travel day. I’m afraid to get really anxious or get a panic attack ๐Ÿ˜ข. I of course agree with the safety measures. You also have to fill in a health paper to declare that you aren’t sick. They can check your temperature when you arrive at the airport. Travelling is not like we used to know it. I really want to go with my mother to Spain and enjoy our Summer there ๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ˜. I guess it’s okay we are anxious to travel. I just hope we won’t get sick. I also miss Spain so much so it would be so nice to finally be there. We maybe go at the end of July. I will keep you all updated how things will go.

  • Spend time with family & friends ๐Ÿ‘ช๐Ÿ‘ญ

I miss seeing my family so much. I only see my parents and sometimes my brother and his wife from a distance. I miss seeing my almost 5 year old niece. Her birthday is in July just like the birthday of my brother Edward. I can’t wait to see my niece, Edward and Elke again. They hopefully will come to our house this month. We haven’t seen each other since Christmas ๐Ÿ˜ญ. I also miss my friends so much. Some friends I didn’t see for a half year, others for a year. I can’t wait to have amazing plans with them in The Netherlands and in Spain ๐Ÿ’–. I’m already going on a lunch with my bestie this month and will also go surfing with her ๐Ÿ„. My other friend from Irak is also coming to my house. I also can’t wait to celebrate my birthday in Spain with my lovely friends and eat delicious tapas all together. Spending time with your loved ones is the best thing you can do. Always be around people who are sunshine for you and not around people who drain you. They aren’t worth it.

  • Go to the beach ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿš

This Summer as always I want to go to the beach many times ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒŠ. I already went twice to the beach in The Netherlands. It’s one hour away with the bike. I loved it so much even though the water here isn’t clear like in Spain haha. Beach time is what makes me the most happy. I’m a mermaid and beach girl forever. Summer isn’t good if I don’t go to the beach. The sea knows all my secrets and heals my heart. If we go to Spain, then I hope to go to the beach there too. The beach is there 3 hours away by train. It’s so beautiful in Santander. There’s also a little surf village which is called Somo near to Santander. I would love to go there again. I went there with my mother a few years ago.

  • Go surfing ๐Ÿ„

I can’t wait to go surfing again! ๐Ÿ˜ I always do this on my Summer bucket list but didn’t go surfing since more than 4 years. I miss it so much. My best friend and I were about to go last Summer but it was bad weather so we didn’t go. This Summer we will definitely go surfing together. I can’t wait. Here there’s always wind so it’s a great beach to surf. Maybe I will go surfing too in Somo, in Spain. I would love to go again to a surf camp. You learn so much there. The surfing lifestyle is the best way to live life โœŒ๐Ÿ’–. Enjoying nature, being present and that feeling of being alive when you are out there in the ocean catching a wave. Hearing the waves crashing to the shore and tasting the salt air and sea all creates a sense of peace and freedom. We all need that in life.

  • Read books ๐Ÿ“š

I love reading books and I find the Summer months the best months to read ๐Ÿ“–. I love to read outside in our garden. I also love to read in the park or on the beach. I already read some books these months which I have to review soon. This Summer I would love to read at least 3 books if that’s possible. I don’t want to say more because I’m a slow reader and I don’t want to create unnecessary stress. We learn so much from reading. It’s lovely to read on a Summer day with a glass of lemonade or red wine. You drive away into paradise ๐ŸŒด.

  • Make smoothies, aรงai bowls & ice pops ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ“

I love to make fruit smoothies. I used to make them a lot and I really miss making them. I want to make a lot more these Summer. I also would love to make ice pops and aรงai bowls because I never did that before. I love how it looks like. It must be delicious ๐Ÿ˜‹. I really want to try to make them and share it with you guys. Let me know if you ever tried to make this and which flavour was the most delicious one. All of these are so refreshing for a hot Summer day and also very healthy which is just a win-win haha.

  • Practice yoga in a studio or outside ๐Ÿ™

I do yoga almost every damn day now since March and it helps me so much with anxiety. I feel more at home in my body. I enjoy being spiritual too and just feel more in sync with life and mother nature. I do yoga with Yoga Girl, my biggest inspiration. I do it on her website. Every month I pay just โ‚ฌ14 and I can do everything on there. The live classes with Yoga Girl are so amazing ๐Ÿ’–. I also do full moon ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒœ๐ŸŒ› ceremonies on there. Doing yoga at home is nice but I also would love to do it again in a studio or have a class outside. I only did that twice in my life. Sometimes I find myself being a bit anxious in a room because of feeling judged in a room full of people. I don’t like big groups. Hopefully I can overcome that and take a class in a studio in The Netherlands or in Spain. The connection you feel with others is so beautiful and so important too in a yoga practice. It makes you feel even more at one with this beautiful world we live in.

Doing yoga at home
  • Share singing covers ๐ŸŽถ

This was the only time I shared a singing cover on my blog. Hopefully I will be able to share more covers here and also on my Instagram ๐ŸŽค. Sometimes I’m just a bit anxious to share it. I love singing but it always takes a lot of courage to film yourself and share it online because of the negative people out there. We just have to think that if someone says something bad about you, it says more about that person than about you. I will have to keep doing what I love because that makes me the most happy. I hope you guys will enjoy it when I’m ready to share it. I also sometimes thought about making a Youtube channel for singing covers but that makes a bit too anxious to do that now. Maybe in the future, who knows.

  • Spend time in nature ๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒน

Spending time in nature is a must during the warm months. I love it so much. I don’t like Winter so I enjoy being outside in Summer. I love to go to the park, enjoy our garden and go to the beach. I love to walk around and go biking ๐Ÿšฒ with my mother. Nature is so alive right now so we have to enjoy it. Spending time in nature also means soaking up the sunshine which is so important for our health too. The sun gives us energy, vitamin D and makes us happier. We need sun light ๐ŸŒž. Don’t forget to always wear sunscreen.

  • Declutter my wardrobe ๐Ÿ‘—

Basically I have to organize my whole room and sort things out but let’s being with my wardrobe. I have to do it here and in Spain. I just never do it haha because I don’t like it. It’s been ages now and it really needs to get done ๐Ÿ™. I also have a hard time in letting clothes go. Some I will treasure and others I will have to donate or sell. I want to try the Marie Kondo way. I hope it works out this Summer. If you have some tips, please let me know.

  • Keep writing poems ๐Ÿ“

I will keep writing poetry in my journal. I hope to be able to share some of my poetry on here. I will also of course keep writing letters to my pen pals and write for my blog. I love to get inspiration from being on the beach or outside in my garden. Whenever I get inspiration โœจ I write it down because otherwise I forget it easily.

Poem about speaking up
  • Be happy, have fun and make the best of this Summer! ๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒˆ

On top of this list is just trying to make the best of this Summer. Hakuna matata โœŒ. Being happy and just enjoying Summer time on our own way is the most important thing. It’s important to take pressure away of having the best Summer ever because every Summer has its ups and downs like life. Summer is my favourite season ever. I’m a Summer and beach girl forever. I’m always SO happy when Summer arrives. In Spain the sun shines every day so I can’t wait to go there and have loads of fun.

Thank you all for reading this fun blog post. I hope you will all have an amazing Summer full of responsible adventure times ๐ŸŒžโœŒ. I hope you will all enjoy it with your family and friends. Make loads of memories. Be safe too. What are you going to this Summer? Are you staying at home or are you going to travel? What of my list are you going to do? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Today it’s my 27th birthday! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽโœจ๐ŸŽˆ Forever a gemini child โ™Š and hippie girl yeahhh! โœŒ

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!!! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽ‰ OMG 27 YEARS YOUNG. I feel old lol ๐Ÿ˜‚. I have sometimes pain in my body like period cramps, back pain, feeling nauseous, teeth problems, suffering from anxiety but lol I still lived 27 years so I guess it’s okay. I feel like a grand mother ๐Ÿ‘ด sometimes. This blog post will be about my birthday and some things I learned these years. It’s a kinda strange birthday because of this pandemic and lockdown but it’s also special. It’s the first birthday in 4 years that I’m again in The Netherlands celebrating it and not in Spain. My good friend is sleeping here. My brother, his wife, my bestie and her girlfriend are coming today but of course with distance. Better, than nothing. I miss face to face connection so much. I missed seeing them so much ๐Ÿ˜ญ.

I sometimes feel a bit depressed, anxious and emotional with my birthday because of society’s expectations. In 3 years I’m 30 years old but I still feel like a ”baby” in the world. I don’t have a job yet, no hushband, no baby, no driving license, no car or don’t own a home. Does that make me unsuccesful? Does that make me not worth it in this society? I just hate that society create those rules. It only makes me feel depressed and create more anxiety. I am where I am in live and it’s all okay. I’m realizing now more and more that who I’m is more important than what I do.

If there is one thing I’m realizing now during this pandemic and just this year in general is that I have to choose for myself. I have spent so much years of my life doing what other people expected of me. I have spent so much time in doing things I don’t like or being with the wrong people. It only drained me and made me feel bad about myself. I have wasted too much time in toxic relationships. It wasn’t worth it. I realized afterwards that all these people and boys had one thing in common: they didn’t deserve my love. I give so much to people and didn’t get that same amount of love back. They weren’t worth my time. If only I knew then what I know now I would not have done certain things or wasted my time on the wrong people. I failed, I learned and I grew from these mistakes. I will try to not repeat them in the future.

I have always hide myself and I still do that at times and I’m done with it. I hide myself because of being bullied ๐Ÿ˜ข. Not many bullies seem to know what the consequences are of bullying. It’s really the worst for your mental health. I still suffer sometimes when someone is laughing or talking a bit loud. Then instantly I think it’s about me but of course it isn’t true. Anxiety is also being caused of being bullied. I’m done with hiding myself for who I’m. I’m happy that I’m being myself know more and more online and also in real life. I have the best friends in real life, online and family in the world ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’•.

I want to be completely myself in everything I do and in everything I am in life. I have always been afraid of growing older because of being afraid of death. I also talked about that topic in this blog post. Now, I’m realizing that growing older is also a privilege. Not everyone can grow older because of sickness. I have also been afraid of aging because I always thought I have to be a certain way in life. I can’t like or do the things I like now in a few years. Well, that’s a misconception. I will forever be the hippie girl โœŒ, mermaid and wild child I’m ๐Ÿ˜‚. I will not change for anyone. I WILL BE MY CRAZY SELF. I will keep reading young adult books ๐Ÿ“š, blogging, penpalling, surfing ๐Ÿ„, travelling the world, singing ๐ŸŽถ, loving the sea ๐ŸŒŠ, listening to my favourite artists such as Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Julia Michaels, Sofia Ellar, Duncan Laurence, Aitana, Amaia, Alfred and keep having fun with my friends. I will keep being myself which means being romantic and sensitive. I’m a highly sensitive person and feel every emotion and also suffer more. I can’t take that away from me because otherwise I wouldn’t be me. Growing older doesn’t mean I have to change about what I like or not. I just grow wiser.

This year I faced one of my biggest fears which was going to the dentist to get one of my wisdom teeth pulled out. I’m SO proud of myself for doing this!!! ๐Ÿ’ช It’s a big achievement for me. I spent years in anxiety and I still know I have to get three out. The first step is there. It went all so great because of the lovely dentist and his team. He knew exactly how to support me and take care of me while I had so much anxiety. You can read it here. Sometimes I feel some problems in my teeth because I still have to get rid of three. I prefer to do it in Spain but we postponed our trip because of the pandemic. Maybe we can go in the Summer if it won’t be dangerous for any of us. I’m just really happy to have faced this fear. I hope with the next visits I will feel less anxiety. I know anxiety will be there always but hopefully a bit less now I know how things go. That’s also the reason I prefer to go in Spain because I know the dentist. I find it hard to trust again in someone new. It’s nice to go to some familiar places.

This year I also have had some amazing good times with my friends and family ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ƒ. My last birthday was amazing because my friend from Granada came to visit me for the first time in Valladolid. Me and my Spanish friends ate all together in a creperie. We had such a great time together. I also enjoyed my time with my Dutch friends in Haarlem in November. I came back from having a hard time in Spain and being so anxious about having to go to the dentist and just life. It was nice to be able to enjoy some time all together eating delicous tapas in La Cubanita. In January I ate there again with my good friend. I also had a nice time with my family eating all together and celebrating birthdays. I really miss that but I know that time will come again.

I also travelled to beautiful places this year which were my second home Valladolid in Spain โœˆ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ. I’m so blessed to have that in my life. I love my Spanish friends and family so much. It’s home. I even feel more at home there than in The Netherlands where I have been born. Home is also where your favourite people are. I love both countries so much but Spain always more haha. In July I travelled again for the 4th time to Granada, one of my favourite cities in Spain. I have a good friend living there. My mother and I went to his appartment at the beach and also enjoyed the city itself. We always have an amazing time and I really can’t wait to go back!!!! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒŠ It’s a tradition to go each Summer but we don’t know if that will be possible this year. I also travelled to Gijรณn which is in Asturias for the first time in August with one of my best friends in Spain. We had such a great time. We enjoyed the beach, had great fiestas haha, eat delicious tapas, went shopping and had such a great girl time.

It was years ago since I went with a friend again on a holiday. I really missed it and I can’t wait to do it again. I still remember that night we met some cool guys which invited us for drinks without anything in return. No bad boys for once yeahhh. They were partying with us the whole night. It was so much fun. One of their friends was about to marry. I just can’t wait to travel again to new places in Spain and wherever in the world because travelling makes me so happy and most importantly, it makes me feel ALIVE!!!! You make new friends, have fun, learn about different cultures and learn more about life and this world we live in ๐ŸŒ.

Right now, I just submitted a story for a contest which is called ”A sea of words” just like my blog like what the hell?! The European Institute of the Mediterranean tagged me on a post in Instagram. Otherwise I would never have found it. My instagram for my blog is also called that way. It’s a contest which is every year and the topics can be about gender equality, climate change, environment or just anything related to make this world a better place. This year it was about young people faced with climate change in the Mediterranean and the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development. First I wrote an essay but it wasn’t what they ask for so I had to change it into a story which was a bit more difficult. The story I wrote is about me being in the sea with my boat and then suddenly being stuck surrounded by plastic bottles. Then a man comes to help me and talks about how important it is to take action. I have always had that inner voice inside of me who says to take action and give some ideas. I already won an essay contest in 2015 and spoke at the United Nations in New York City ๐Ÿ—ฝ so I thought why not try again even though my inner critic is loud sometimes. The jury is now reviewing the stories. The 10 best winners will go to Barcelona at the end of September for free and will have a creative writing course and dicuss their ideas. It’s really so amazing. I will keep you informed if I win and if it’s even possible to travel.

A few days ago I also submitted my two poems ๐Ÿ“„ about vulnerability and strength for the organization MIND in The Netherlands. This organization helps people with mental health illnesses. My poems are about the sea and about being bullied and how that made me stronger and about accepting myself for the way I’m. The winner will be chosen online from the best 5 and the winner gets a poetry award. The 5 winners can speak their poem in an event. All these things make me super anxious and are so outside my comfortzone but I have to do it because I love writing and I know that I’m good at it. I have to stop bullying myself that I’m not good or smart enough. I will keep my fingers crossed โœŒ๐Ÿ™.

With all of these things I do and did in the past, I’m just being myself and embracing the person who I’m which loves to write, do yoga, sing, surf, travel the world, read and help other people and hopefully making this world a better place. I love La Pachamama!!! ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ˜ Thank you all so much for forming part of my life. Thank you all for being there for me in good and bad times. I love you all so much. I wish you all peace, love & happiness! Forever young, wild and free! โœŒ๏ธ We are all childs of the universe. This life is a gift โœจ Let’s hope this new year of life will be amazing too!

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I’m so happy to have you all in my life. Do you also join writing contests? Do you think 27 years is old? Do you think society creates rules for us? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

March favourites ๐Ÿ’•โœจ

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

I’m back with my favourites from March. It was a good month until we got all locked down at home. I was struggling so much by that time. Now I feel a bit more calm. It feels more normal when of course life is not normal. It was nice to have some fun in March. It was nice to have seen some people which I didn’t see for a long time. I’m missing them now ๐Ÿ˜ข. In this blog post I will share about meeting my best friend and her girlfriend, seeing the baby of my friends brother and having a new laptop.

Things I did with my lovely family ๐Ÿ‘ช:

Visiting the baby of my friends brother ๐Ÿ‘ถ

We visited the baby of my friends brother. They are also our friends. We went to their wedding. My parents are also friends with their parents. The father of the child has a brother which is bff with my brother since they were little. They were in the same classes. It was so nice to see the baby Ryan๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’–. He is so cute and lovely. He is so calm too and sleep peacefully ๐Ÿ˜ด. We ate beschuit met muisjes together with tea which is typical to eat in The Netherlands. They were blue because it’s a boy otherwise it’s pink for a girl. I love this tradition. We also loved the 4 cats, my fav is the orange cat haha Garfield! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฑ They are so fluffy and cute!!!! It was nice to see the wedding pictures too. It’s been already 7 years since we were on their beautiful wedding.

Pancakes time ๐Ÿฅž

After visiting the baby we ate some delicious pancakes at home. I always love to eat them so much. My daddy makes the best pancakes in the world. They were delicious as always! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‹

Walks in the park ๐ŸŒž

It was very sunny in March and even more now in April. I love to walk in the park with my mother which is just around the corner of my house. It’s nice to be in nature always. I love to go on walks where we see the cows and the mills which is a typical Dutch landscape. I also saw some beautiful pink flowers.

Eating a delicous disco dip ice cream ๐Ÿฆ

I love disco dip ice cream so much ๐Ÿ˜. It’s so typical to eat this here. I ate it at the Hema when it was still open for ice cream. Right now, the restaurant is closed. You can still get ice cream in some other places though. I love this so much. It’s also so good for my teeth lol not. It’s so delicious. I love the crispy taste of it. Also it looks so beautiful.

New stationery from Euroland ๐Ÿ›๏ธ

When I went shopping I bought some nice stationery from the shop Euroland. I bought a sticker set which has some beautiful theme stickers from Spring time, cats and quotes. I also bought a set of 6 envelopes with liners. I love it all.

Watching the movie Aladdin and It could happen to you ๐ŸŽฌ

I watched Aladdin with my mother. I had never watched it haha how bad. I loved it so much. I love the music and just the whole movie. Such a great movie. I can’t wait to watch more Disney movies because I love them so much โœจ. With both of my parents I watched It could happen to you. It’s about a police officer who promises to share his lottery ticket with a waitress in lieu of a tip. This police officer is married. I loved this romantic movie so much. I didn’t find it that clichรฉ like other movies. There was a really great story line and I loved the actors.

Things I did with my lovely friends ๐Ÿ’•:

Seeing my best friend and her girlfriend ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’–

I saw my bestie and her girlfriend again on Friday the 13th which was definitely a lucky day. I went by bus and was a bit scared because soon after that we got into a lockdown in The Netherlands. I’m just happy I saw my best friend again after three months ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ญโœจ In these dark and hard times in the world I always feel at most peace by your side. I literally am crying now. I love you to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond ๐ŸŒœ๐ŸŒ›. It’s rare to find someone who understands you. I’m so blessed to have you in my life forevah. As long as I have you by my side everything will be all right. Thank you and your lovely girlfriend for cooking delicious Indonesian food!!! It was a bit spicy which I can’t eat because I get an upset stomach but it was okay haha. If it was really spicy I would have died lol. Take care you both, see ya soon! ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿค—

Beautiful pen pal letters ๐Ÿ’Œ

I love my pen pals so much. I always get such beautiful mail which make my day much better ๐Ÿ˜. There’s nothing more beautiful than receiving a handwritten letter and some nice goodies. I love arts and crafts. Being creative is the best. It inspires me and is so good for my mental health. I’m happy for the letter I got from Agata which came all the way from Poland. I loved it so much. I loved the writing paper. I loved the quotes on that paper which looks like it’s burned. I have never seen that before. Thank you for the rainbow bookmark. I will definitely use it soon. It’s so cute! โ˜๏ธ Thank you Chloe for your mail like always. You are so creative!!!! A real artist. I love the gemini โ™Š card. You knew that I would love it too so much. I love the universe โœจ. Your letter was beautiful. I like the stickers, the drawings and the bookmark. Another one for my collection haha! I also really liked the moon with my name. I’m going to have it in my room. Love you to the moon and back. I’m so thankful for our friendship. I know we will meet soon.

I’m also thankful for the amazing mail I got from Rosie. I’m so happy to be friends with you. I loved everything you sent to me always especially the quotes, the little friendship card and your letter of course. I decorated my room with some of the quotes you have sent me. We are all in this together always. I’m sending you all my love. Thank you lovely Sophia for your beautiful letter. I love the rainbow sticky notes, the stickers and just everything. What I love the most is your cards with quotes on it which you always make. They are so inspiring and beautiful. Keep being you because you are awesome.

I  L O V E  Y O U  A L L ๐Ÿ’–

Other amazing things of March ๐Ÿ’–:

Buying beautiful stationery online ๐Ÿ›’

I bought some beautiful stationery online. I love to buy on Etsy because I support small businesses that way and they have the cutest stuff ever. I bought a floral A5 lined notepad and A6 notepad from Abby Cook Illustration. It looks so beautiful with the flowers ๐Ÿ’. I will use it for writing letters for my pen pals. I also bought cute washi tape with panda design from Petite Pink Boutique. Lastly, I bought an awesome space mystery box from Callaby Crafts. It includes samples of washi tape, three washi tape with universe design, dream notes, stickers of the moon ๐ŸŒœand a pen. I loved it all so much! ๐Ÿ˜ I love the universe so much.

New laptop ๐Ÿ’ป

My daddy finally bought a new laptop because the other one was broken. It’s a Chromebook from the brand Acer. It works so well. You have to install first the apps and then you can use it. The screen is beautiful. It’s better than Windows or Mac because you don’t get any virus. I’m so happy with it. The next time we go to Spain we will bring it with us.

Officially Spring time ๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒผ๐ŸŒป

Spring begin the 20th of March ๐ŸŒž. I’m always happy with the beginning of Spring because I love Spring and Summer is closer which is my favourite season ever. However, I hope that we are able to go to the beach this Summer and go to the swimming pool. I need that ๐Ÿ˜ข. Spring is such a lovely season. I love Summer but I hate heatwaves haha. They make me sick really. I love 20 degrees and just enjoy the days in the garden now. I love to see the baby animals and see the flowers blossoming. Nature in Spring is so beautiful. We let the dark Winter ahead and embrace these days with hope and light. We need it so much this time.

International Women’s Day 2020 โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’œ

I always find this such an important day. International Women’s Day is every day not only on March the 8th. However, I find this day an important day to raise awareness. I’m a feminist by heart forever and will always stand up for the same rights between men and women. Right now, I’m reading a book about sexual harrasment and controlling behaviour which breaks my heart because I know that many women have to suffer through this in life. This really has to stop. One day I went to a feminist strike in Spain which was awesome ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ‘ญ. You can read it in this blog post. This year I made a poem for this day which you can find here.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you are all safe and sound at home. I really do hope better times are coming because we all deserve it so much. What was your favourite thing of my list? What’s your favourite season? Do you like my new stationery? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

The 50 bookish questions book tag ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’ซโœจ๐Ÿ“–

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

This is going to be a different blog post then what I normally do as I have never done this before. I searched for a book tag on here and I came across some nice questions about books. I found the 50 bookish questions on this blog post. I really like reading and want to read more. I keep buying books but I’m a slow reader so it doesn’t work that well I guess haha. I hope you will like this tag. I’m sure there are more book lovers out there ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ“–. I already know some of my lovely blogging friends who love to read too. This is for all of you. I hope you will like it.

1.) What was the last book you read?

To love and let go: A memoir of love, loss and gratitude by Rachel Brathen (Yoga Girl).

2). Was it a good one?

YEAHHH OMG IT WAS AMAZING. ONE OF MY FAV BOOKS EVER ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ญ. I cried so much.

3.) What made it good?

I don’t want to say a lot about it because I want to dedicate one blog post reviewing this book because it was so beautiful. It needs it’s own post. It was such a beautiful book because it was so raw, vulnerable and emotional. It was the real life story of Rachel about love, loss and gratitude. I love that in the hardships of life she finds gratitude. She just wrote this book from her heart. I wish to meet her one day and go on a retreat. I’m really amazed how good she can write about her experiences in life.

4.) Would you recommend it to other people?

Yes of course! This book will heal your heart whether you are going through grief or any other struggle in life.

5.) How often do you read?

A few days in a week. I just read sometimes. If I would have a busier life I would maybe have less time to read but I would still read.

6.) Do you like to read?

Yeahhh!

7.) What was the last bad book you read?

I think that must be The big sleep by Raymond Chandler.

8.) What made you dislike it?

I read this book years ago during high school. It was boring and I don’t like those detective stories. I also had to read it for school and when I have to do something I often don’t like it that much ๐Ÿ˜‚.

9.) Do you wish to be a writer?

YEAH OMGGG MY DREAM ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’–. I already consider my a writer because I own this blog but I would love to write books especially some poetry books. I hope to make this dream come true one day. If anyone has tips for publishing your own books and how things work I would love to know that.

10.) Has any book ever influenced you greatly?

Yes of course. You learn so much from books. The books which had the most influence on me are The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and To love and let go by Rachel Brathen. These are two beautiful books which tell a honest and beautiful story.

11.) Do you read fan-fiction?

No, I’ve never read fan-fiction.

12.) Do you write fan-fiction?

Nope and to be honest I also don’t think I’m that interested in this.

13.) What is your favourite book?

I have some favourite books which are Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, To love and let go by Rachel Brathen and The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. These are my three favourite books ever ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ™.

14.) What is your least favourite book?

I don’t know. Maybe one I had to read during high school which is called The big sleep. I just didn’t like that story.

15.) Do you prefer physical books or ready on a device (like Kindle)?

Physical books always. I don’t have a tablet and to be honest it’s so much better to have a book in your hands. I love to feel the paper and smell it haha ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ“–.

16.) When did you learn to read?

I think when I began to go to school so when I was 4/5 years old.

17.) What is your favourite book you had to read in school?

I had to read The Kite Runner during high school. I loved it. This story was so touching, heartbreaking and everything.

18.) What is your favourite book series?

The Spinster Club Series by Holly Bourne. I still need to read some of her books from this serie. I’ve read Am I normal yet? and I loved it!!! In that book she writes about a girl who has OCD and suffers from anxiety too. It’s a book about friendship, love, mental health and feminism. It’s so good.

19.) Who is your favourite author?

I have so many favourite authors but my all time favourite are John Green, Rachel Brathen and Holly Bourne.

20.) What is your favourite genre?

Young Adult always ๐Ÿ’–.

21.) Who is your favourite character in a book series?

I really like Evie from the book Am I normal yet as I can relate so much with her thoughts about anxiety. I don’t have OCD but as I struggle from anxiety I can also make myself go crazy with so many things in my mind which aren’t even going to come true. It’s so exhausting. This book made me feel less alone.

22.) Has a book ever transported you somewhere else?

Yes, books always transport me to beautiful places and countries. I love to imagine myself in the stories and think about what would I do faced in a certain situation.

23.) Which book do you wish had a sequel?

Everything, Everything because when I ended reading it I felt like I wanted to know how the story would go on. It would be really nice to read that.

24.) Which book do you wish DIDNโ€™T have a sequel?

I don’t know. I think sequels can be good.

25.) How long does it take you to read a book?

Sometimes two weeks but often a month or a few months. I like to take my time to read some good books.

26.) Do you like when books become movies?

I love it! ๐ŸŽฌ I think think it’s really nice when they do it right.

27.) Which book was ruined by its movie adaptation?

I don’t know. I only know that when I watched Everything, Everything I thought that some things were a bit different than in the book. I thought it could have been better.

28.) Which movie has done a book justice?

The Fault in Our Stars was such a beautiful movie and was just like the book. It’s my fav book and movie ever. I cried, laughed and just had all the feels. I also loved the movie The Kite Runner but sometimes it was a bit hard to watch because of the things which were showed. I can’t deal with hard stuff as being a highly sensitive person. I also love the Harry Potter movies but I have to admit that I never read the books, just one. Maybe one day I will have to do that haha.

29.) Do you read newspapers?

Not that much. Sometimes I read it for the wheather, horoscope or some news which interests me such as Eurovision or news about feminism.

30.) Do you read magazines?

I love to read magazines especially the ones I buy in The Netherlands which are Flow and Psychology magazine. Flow is about mindfullness, slow life and being present. It comes with stationery and beautiful insights. I also shared in this blog post that I got some magazines of Flow for Sinterklaas. I also love Psychology magazine because it’s about mental health. I love to read about people who also suffer from anxiety because it makes me feel less alone ๐Ÿ™โœจ. I love to read about some tips how to go through it. It’s an inspiring and interesting magazine. For the rest I also sometimes like The Cosmopolitan which I buy in Spain. I like to buy it in the Summer for holidays on the beach. I’m not that much that girl who loves to read about the newest fashion trends but some stuff is nice haha.

31.) Do you prefer newspapers or magazines?

Magazines always because newspapers can be quiet depressing.

32.) Do you read while in bed?

Yeahhh always because it’s the best, safest, warmest and coziest place to read ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ’ž.

33.) Do you read while on the toilet?

No, but I use my mobile phone sometimes to read something haha.

34.) Do you read while in the car?

I can’t read in the car because I get sick but sometimes I can read in the train.

35.) Do you read while in the bath?

No, because I’m afraid the books will get wet. I would love to have a table which I sometimes see on Instagram posts to put your book on.

36.) Are you a fast reader?

No normally not. Just sometimes it happens that when I really love a book it can take me two weeks to read it.

37.) Are you a slow reader?

YES. I can take some months to read a book haha. I just want to enjoy it and not rush everything. I also want to really be present with what I’m reading and think about the story.

38.) Where is your favourite place to read?

In my bed, on the beach ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒด๐ŸŒž (fav place ever) because it’s so calming to hear the waves crashing down the shore, and I also love to read in the garden in The Netherlands. I can’t wait for those days again in the sunshine. I need it.

39.) Is it hard for you to concentrate when you read?

Yes, so that’s why I prefer to read in a silent room, at the beach or at the swimming pool. I can easily get distracted by sounds.

40.) Do you need a room to be silent while you read?

Always otherwise I can’t read.

41.) Who gave you your love for reading?

I think maybe my father because he reads a lot, also writes books as he was a teacher of teology. He also used to tell me stories about witches and other fantasies before bedtime when I was little. He made them all up and it was incredible. My daddy has so much imagination haha. I find it fascinating to be honest.

42.) What book is next on your list to read?

Right now I’m reading Looking for Alaska by John Green. Next, I think I want to read the poetry book about mental health of my friend Andrew from Instagram.

43.) When did you start to read chapter books?

I don’t know, maybe I was 8 years old.

44.) Who is your favourite childrenโ€™s book author?

I really love the Dutch autors Jacques Vriens and Francine Oomen. I always loved to read these children books.

45.) Which author would you most want to interview?

I would love to interview John Green because I think he is such an interesting person and knows about mental health illnesses such as anxiety and depression. His books are amazing so I think it would be amazing to talk to him. He has such a beautiful inner world.

46.) Which author do you think you would be friends with?

Holly Bourne and Rachel Brathen! I love them both so much ๐Ÿ˜. Holly Bourne writes amazing books about mental health, feminism and friendship. I also love Rachel Brathen, Yoga Girl, so much. She’s my biggest inspiration in life so I think we would get along so well with. I would feel at peace when I met her one day and could talk about my struggles and just everything in life. I love her honesty and vulnerability so much.

47.) What book have you reread the most?

I’m a slow reader so to be honest I didn’t have reread a book. I only can think of maybe a Dutch book serie called The five which I read loads of books from. It was always so interesting to read. It was about children who have amazing adventures together.

48.) Which books do you consider โ€œclassics?โ€

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee and The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I have to read the first two because I heard good reviews about them. The last one I’ve already read and a review is coming soon.

49.) Which books do you think should be taught in every school?

I think The Fault in Our Stars because it tells such a vulnerable and beautiful story about a girl and a boy with cancer which fall in love with each other. It’s a beautiful and touching story. You learn so much about life and the world with this book. I also think the Spinster Club Series books from Holly Bourne would be really great because it’s about feminism, friendship and mental health. Those are all important topics to talk about and learn about through books.

50.) Which books should be banned from all schools?

Books are amazing but I’m in favor of banning books which cause hate such as books of homophobia, racism and anything. If it wouldn’t benefit a person and would cause harm then it should be banned at school.

Thank you all for reading this blog post โ˜บ๏ธ. I hope you liked this book tag with loads of questions about books and reading. Can you relate to some of my answers? What kind of books do you love to read? What are your favourite books/writers? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Reflection on 2019 & happy new year to you all! โœจ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’ซ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿค—

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

I’m doing a bit better than when I wrote my last blog. However, I’m having a cold now and my period is coming soon so always something bad. In this blog post I will make a short reflection on 2019. I will write about some low and highs of this year which I also wrote in a journal. Every year has good and bad things. I also wish you all a beautiful new year! ๐Ÿฅณ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’– May all your wildest and biggest dreams come true!

A new year has arrived: 2020. A new decade too. I’m happy to leave this decade because it came with good things but also with bad things. In this decade I met my first love and also got my heart broken at the end of 2012. I’m already 7 years single haha let’s keep up that way ๐Ÿ˜‚. I also experienced beautiful things this decade like graduating college ๐ŸŽ“ and speaking at the United Nations in NYC ๐Ÿ—ฝ because I won an essay competition in Spanish. This happened in the Summer of 2015. I think this was definitely one of the biggest milestones this decade. I guess we can all relate to good and bad moments during this decade. I just really wish 2020 will be a better year for all of us ๐Ÿ™. I hope we will experience beautiful things. I also hope we will survive and grow from the bad things.

My speech about ending hunger in the world at The United Nations ๐Ÿ—ฝ the 24th of July 2015

This year I learned some important life lessons which I will take with me in 2020. I learned that sometimes we can feel more connected to people we have never met than to the ones who are next to us. I love you all so much. You all mean the world to me. I learned that a real friend will be there for you in good and bad times. I learned that life has lows and highs and that most people only share the highs on social media. I learned that it’s good to spend less time online because I only compare myself to others online which makes my mental health worse. It isn’t real life. I also am learning to sit with every emotion whether that’s a negative one such as fear or anger. We have to feel it all, go through it until we can let go. It’s hard because when I feel anxious I just want that feeling to go away as soon as possible as it makes me feel so unwell. I just hope to know how to live with anxiety this next year.

This new year my intention is to listen more to my inner voice and let my heart guide me through life instead of my mind. 2020 will be the year of self love, growth and achieving my dreams. I will use the power that I have of being my authentic and sensitive self. I hope I will be able to get a job I love and which is good for my mental health. I also hope to meet more people I have met on the internet because I align so good with you all. My intention is to feel peace and know how to go through the waves of anxiety. I know I have to overcome some fears such as going to the dentist. Anxiety just doesn’t disappear because it’s the new year. I listened to the podcast of Yoga Girl and did the intention setting ceremony. I think setting intentions is much better than resolutions. Mostly we don’t achieve all resolutions we set for ourselves or it gives us too much pressure.

In 2019 I experienced a lot of amazing things like travelling to new places like Leรณn in March with my mother. I also went to Granada again in July with my lovely mother and met my friend there. In August I went to Gijรณn with my Spanish friend. I want to travel more with friends and also go to a surf camp again this new year ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ. This year I went to the beautiful tulip fields in The Netherlands ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒทThis year I also read more amazing books. To love and let go by Yoga Girl changed my life and I’m forever thankful for that. It was spiritual and beautiful. I will share a review about this book soon. This new year I will keep reading, writing, singing, travelling and doing all things I love. This year I also went to the concert of Alfred Garcia which I loved. Next year I really do hope to go to more concerts like the one of Taylor Swift. I’m dying to see her live as it’s my dream ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽถ I also hope to see Yoga Girl one day. I also hope to get tickets for Eurovision live.

Tulip fields in The Netherlands ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐ŸŒท๐Ÿ˜

Travelling to Leรณn with mama ๐Ÿ˜

Travelling with my Spanish friend to Gijรณn ๐Ÿ’–๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ

Awesome trip to Granada with my mother in July ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒž

I also faced a fear this year which was having a first interview for an internship in a hotel ๐Ÿฉ in Spain. At the end they didn’t call me back but I went there and did my best. I hate interviews so it’s a good thing that I did well even though my heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to die ๐Ÿ˜ญ.

An important event this year was The Netherlands ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ winning Eurovision after 44 years ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿฅ‡๐ŸŽถ This was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. It was a dream coming dream. I’m being a fan of Eurovision all my life so to see this happening was just so amazing and beautiful. I can’t wait to go to the concert of Duncan Laurence soon.

I want to give thanks to my family, friends and all the people I met this year. I’m so happy I met more amazing people. I’m thankful for my pen pals which I met this year. I’m thankful for the Goddess community, the Yoga Girl Community and this community. This mental health community is so important for my well-being. You make my life so much better. It’s so much better to know that I’m not alone with my feelings. We all feel the same things just not at the same time. It’s okay if you have had a hard year. I’m always here for you all. I hope this new year will make our heart glow of golden glitter โœจ.

I celebrated New Year’s Eve with my mother at the home of the mother of Verรณnica and her brother. It was strange to be there without my brother and Vรฉronica. They couldn’t be in Valladolid this time. We ate a delicious meal which was some meat, potatoes and bread with avocado and cheese sauce. I loved the chorizo and jamรณn serrano too which is typical Spanish food. In Spain it’s also typical to eat 12 grapes at twelve o’clock so we did that. I love to watch las campanadas ๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ˜. We also drank some champagne ๐Ÿฅ‚ We watched a program on tv which I love because it’s about Spanish artists singing. I love singing programs ๐ŸŽถ. Later I also played Mario Kart Deluxe and Mario Bros with the Nintendo Switch from the brother of Verรณnica. I really loved it so much and was pretty good at it. I was bad at Just Dance haha ๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿ˜‚ On New Year’s Day I was chilling, resting and watching the movie Notting Hill.

Happy new year my lovely friends! ๐ŸŽ‰ ๐Ÿ’–โœจ I believe in the good things coming and hopefully it will be in abundance this new year. We all deserve it so much. I wish you all love, health and happiness โœจ I love you all so much ๐Ÿ’ž. Thank you for being there for me always. We are always in this together ๐Ÿ’ช

Thank you all for reading this blog post, the first one of the new year yeahhhh โœจ I hope you all liked it. How are you feeling about this new year? What is an intention you have set for yourself this new year? How did you celebrate new year’s eve? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina