Reflection on 2018 & happy new year to you all! ๐ŸŽ‰โœจ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’ซ

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

Happy new year to you all! โœจ๐ŸŽ‰ In this post I will talk about my 2018 and will show you how I celebrated New Year’s Eve. I’m glad I don’t have a cold amymore but just tonight I got my period so yeah that also sucks ๐Ÿ˜ญ I’m glad I take medication for the cramps because otherwise I wouldn’t survive it. Besides, I’m also being anxious about my appointment of getting one of my wisdom teeth pulled out this week. I keep postponing the appointment. I know I have to do it but I’m so scared. H e l p. I also don’t want to do it in Holland. Here in Spain it’s much cheaper and the dentist understands my anxiety but I’m still so afraid and I just feel like I can’t cope. If anyone have some more tips to survive it I will be forever grateful ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’• I can always take medication for anxiety if that’s enough to help me cope with it.

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We are already in 2019. A year has flown by. As usually I want to reflect on my year with this post and also write some important things for you all. Every year has its ups and downs. Every year consists of good things and bad things which happen to us. The most important thing is how we react to all these things. I know how hard it’s to stay positive in this sometimes dark world. I just keep believing that there are so many good things in the world and that there are indeed so many good people. You just have to find your tribe. I’m so glad I did.

I’m so happy with my blogging community, mental health community, Yoga Girl community and the goddess revolution community. I’m thankful that I joined these communities this year. They made me feel less alone and so much happier. If I’m in Holland I will maybe go to a meet up with some yoga girls. I also really wish that we will continue to all be friends and hopefully one day we will all meet โœจ I know the universe brought us all together for a reason which is to be connected with awesome people, share our struggles and feel supported.

I learned a lot this year. I learn every day from this world. This year I realized that there are truly lovely people who care about you and want you to be happy. I learned that it’s better to have a few good friends than a million of fake friends. The ones who love you will always be there for you no matter what. I learned that true love exists when I saw my brother getting married in August in Spain. I learned that this life is an adventure. Sometimes we win and sometimes we loose. We learn from every experience. I also learned that it’s okay if I’m not where I want to be in life. I still have a long way to go. I will find a career I love and will keep growing. It all takes time, pacience and trust in myself. I have to love myself, believe in myself and know that I can make my dreams come true such as working and living in Spain โœจ

I also went to my first feminist strike in Valladolid, in Spain on International Women’s Day on the 8th of March with my mother. This was such an empowerful event. I never went to a demonstration before. I really wish 2019 will be the year that less women will be suffering from violence. I wish that women and men have the same human rights. Together we are starting a revolution. This is just the beginning. 2019 will be the year where women can be themselves, love themselves and love each other ๐Ÿ’•

This year I also learned that music is the best thing in life ๐ŸŽถ I would be lost without music. I went to so many amazing concerts such as the Operaciรณn Triunfo 2017 concert in Madrid with my friend Maria ๐Ÿ’• Operaciรณn Triunfo makes me so happy and full of life. I also enjoyed the concert of Pablo Alboran, Chenoa, Hombres G and Celtas Cortos with my mother in Valladolid. I also enjoyed so much the concert of Sofia Ellar with my friend Maria. I can’t wait to see her again. It was so lovely to meet Sofia and get a picture with her. She’s the best and I can’t wait to see her singing again ๐Ÿ˜

This year I began to read again a lot which I loved to do so much when I was younger. I will continue reading this new year. I also kept writing and being creative. I hope to create more amazing content on this blog. Writing is amazing. I travelled to Madrid, Granada, Santander and Somo. I discovered Somo which is a beautiful surfing village in the north of Spain. In 2019 I really want to go to a surf camp again ๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒž. I didn’t go surfing for more than two years. I miss it so much. It’s also so good for my mental health. The sea is my home and cleans my soul. The beach is my favourite place on this earth. I can’t wait to travel to more amazing places and meet more amazing people.

Somo, Santander (September 2018)

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Granada, Andalucia (July 2018)

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La Rรกbita, Mediterranean Sea, Granada (July 2018)

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Madrid (March 2018)

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Maybe for some of you this year was a hard year. Maybe some of you have lost someone close to you. Maybe you just didn’t felt okay and were struggling. I’m here for you. It’s okay to grief. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel sad. Feelings change and emotions change but it all takes time. Try to not be hard on yourself next year. Remember, I’ll will always be there for you ๐Ÿ’• I hope you will invest in self love and self care this new year because that’s the most important thing that matters. I also encourage you all to surround yourself with people who love you and who bring you only good vibes because you deserve that โœจ.

I celebrated my New Year’s Eve in Valladolid, in Spain. I decided to not go out with my friends. I also didn’t go out last year. I used to party every year but I don’t feel in the mood anymore. I have to do what feels good to me. I went to the hairdressers in the afternoon to cut the dead ends, my bangs and they made curls in my hair. I love to look good for myself. I dressed up at home and did my make up. My mother and I went to the house of the mother of the wife of my brother. We celebrated all together New Year’s Eve: Rafael, my mother, Vรฉronica, Vรฉronica’s mother and her brother. We enjoyed eating delicious Spanish food.

We ate cheese, jamon serrano, chorizo, bread and chicken. I didn’t eat the fish because I don’t like fish so much haha ๐Ÿ˜‚ At 12 o’clock we watched the television and ate the 12 grapes. We also had champagne ๐Ÿฅ‚. It’s a tradition in Spain to eat the 12 grapes. They say it brings luck. We watched television where we were hearing beautiful music and we played Spanish card games. I really loved it so much. I love playing games with my family. At 3.30 am my mother and I went home and we stayed in watching some television. We went to bed at 6 am pretty late but doesn’t matter because it’s a special night. I’m glad I didn’t go out because as soon as we were home I got my period haha. On New Year’s Day we just stayed in and chilled. I saw the movie Grease. I just love that movie & the music so much ๐Ÿ˜ I also saw the movie Paper Towns which I love so much from John Green. I already saw this movie with my best friend one day and loved it.

l wish you all an amazing new year full of love, happiness and luck ๐Ÿ€โœจโœŒ๏ธ Stay strong & stay safe. We are all in this together ๐Ÿ’ช I love you all so so so much โค๏ธ. Thank you all for reading. How was your New Year’s Eve? Did you stay at home or did you went to a party? Which are your goals or dreams to achieve in 2019? I would love to know. I will speak to you all soon in my next blog post.

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Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Liebster award 2x <3

Hey lovely bloggers <3,

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I got nominated for the Liebster Award twice. Iโ€™m sorry it took a bit longer but I wanted to take my time to write a good blog post. The Liebster Award is an award to discover new, beginning blogs and is a great way to connect and support the blogging community. I feel so honoured that I was nominated for this award twice! ๐Ÿ˜€

The rules of this award are the following steps:

Step 1: write a 150-300 word post about your favourite blog that is not your own

My favourite blog on WordPress is without any doubt from the beautiful Chloe โค โค โค I met her on Instagram where she post beautiful pictures about self love and mental health. Her blog is all about her journey to self love while suffering from anxiety. She is also my mail friend like pen pal. I love to be friends with her and hopefully I will meet her one day.

On her blog and on Instagram she stays authentic and honest. I love that she shares the good and bad in life. Mostly, we can see a lot of fake people on social media but she is real. Her posts are about her struggles and how to find happiness while suffering from anxiety. Her posts and quotes really inspire me, make me happy and make me feel less alone. I encourage anybody following my blog, to follow her blog too because you wonโ€™t regret it!

Step 2: thank the blogger who nominated you

Thank you for nominating me for the Liebster Award, Cat and Anjana.  Your blogs are so awesome and inspire me so much. I love your blog posts about everything in life. Thank you so much for thinking of me. I encourage everybody to follow these two amazing blogs! โค


Step 3: 10 facts about yourself (optional)

My blog is now almost three months old. I shared some personal stuff about me over the last three months, however I will share some facts about myself in case you donโ€™t know them ๐Ÿ˜Š.

  • I used to sing in a choir for 11 years in The Netherlands and travelled through Europe to sing with my choir in awesome places like in St. Peterโ€™s Square, Rome for the Pope Benedict XVI.
  • Iโ€™m half Spanish/half Dutch; my father is Dutch, my mother is Spanish
  • I grew up between two cultures: Spanish and Dutch culture; I lived all my life in Haarlem, The Netherlands but am now living in Valladolid, Spain (The place where my mother was born).
  • I love writing poems and just all my thoughts and feelings.
  • I love surfing; Iโ€™m an beginner surfer, I went two two surf camps in Spain and surfed a lot in The Netherlands too. Even though I canโ€™t catch like real waves I enjoy it haha and it makes me feel so free and happy (Itโ€™s already been more than one year that I didnโ€™t surf, hopefully I will surf again soon).
  • Iโ€™m an highly sensitive person which means that I have a nervous system that is more sensitive than others and it process things more deeply. In other words, I feel more and love more. About 20% of the population has this personality trait. I can connect with the world in a way other people can’t. I cry and suffer more, but I also love deeply and have a deep appreciation of the beautiful world around me.
  • I think and dress like a hippie haha peace all the way! โค
  • I used to do competitive swimming in The Netherlands, once I won the first price of estafette with my group. I really love swiming and would love to swim more because itโ€™s really great to beat my anxiety.
  • I have anxiety for like my whole life. I blog about this a lot because it really helps to vulnerable and I get great support from all the people here. Since 8 months, Iโ€™m taking antidepressants like 20 mg each day and a benzo when I feel really anxious. This is really helping me a lot even though Iโ€™m now in a period of transition from college to real life which is really hard to cope with but I hope I will be okay soon.
  • I love travelling and travelled a lot through Europe. One of my biggest dream was going to New York City. Two years ago I won the Many Languages, One World Essay contest of 2015. I won a free trip to New York City in the summer of 2015. Our essays were related to the sustainable development goals. I wrote about the importance of gender equality between men and women. I wrote my essay in Spanish. I was in the Spanish team and we worked on our presentation for the United Nations together those days. We had to do a speech in the United Nations. Our project was called EMMA. This proyect was about how to end hunger, achieve food security and sustainablity. It was all so inspiring ๐Ÿ˜. It made me think of all the things I wanna change in the world. This was definitely a once in a lifetime experience. I’m forever blessed to have experienced this and met everlasting friendships from people all over the world.

Step 4: Answer the questions your nominator has asked

First I will answer the questions of Cat ๐Ÿ˜Š.

1) Whatโ€™s your favorite book?

My favourite book is definitely โ€œThe fault in our starsโ€. Itโ€™s a love story between two teenagers who have cancer. Itโ€™s soooo damn beautiful and emotional. You all should read this book in case you didn’t read it. I also love the movie so much.

2) Tell your favorite quote and why? (mention from which book, in case itโ€™s from a book, you took it).

I have so many favourite quotes but this is definitely one of my favourites from my favourite book: โ€œThe fault in our stars โ€“ John Greenโ€. This quote is just so beautiful and so true because it shows what true love is and the hard truth of life.

โ€œI’m in love with you,” he said quietly.

“Augustus,” I said.

“I am,” he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.โ€

3) When did you felt most satisfied with your life?

I felt the most satisfied and happiest in my life when I achieved one of my biggest dream which was going to New York City. Two years ago I won the Many Languages, One World Essay contest of 2015. I won a free trip to New York City in the summer of 2015 and spoke at the United Nations. I shared more details in the 10 facts about myself.

4) If you could choose live in any other place, where would it be ?

I would love to live in a place near to the ocean where itโ€™s sunny every day like Hawaii, California, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Australia or Aruba. I would love to visit these places one day. Iโ€™m dying to go to Aruba and meet a famous yoga instructor called Yoga Girl and go on a yoga retreat and surf in the ocean of Aruba.

5) Are you capable of managing your social life with your blogging life?

Yes, of course! However, itโ€™s kinda strange that sometimes I feel more connected to the blogging community than with people in my real life. I feel like I can share all my thoughts and feelings especially with having anxiety. I feel so much support here and it helps me so much.

6) Horror movies or Comedy movies? And why

Comedy movies of course, because I canโ€™t watch horror movies. Iโ€™m a highly sensitive person and while having anxiety horror movies are just not my movies. Itโ€™s way too much for my senses. Comedy movies and romantic movies are the best ๐Ÿ˜Š โค They make me so happy!

7) If you had to spend the rest of your life with only one person, who would it be?

This is a difficult question because I really love all my good friends and family. I would spend it with my lovely mother because she is the one who always support and understand me. She is always there for me. I love her too infinity and beyond! โค She is the most important person in my life.

8) What is your favorite song? And why?

I love music so much that I really canโ€™t choose one favourite song. One of my favourite songs is: Is this love from Bob Marley. I heard this song in a surf van when I was doing a surf camp in Spain. I just love those hippie vibes and it makes me feel so free and happy. Love and peace is the way in life! โค

These are my answers of the questions of Anjana :).

1) Describe your personal sense of style?

My personal sense of style is hippie style. I love kinda hippie clothes and the boho style of fashion. My room is this style too haha. I wear flower headbands and a dream catcher as necklace. I also love to wear clothes with Aztec print. This all creates me the hippie feeling which means for me to have a free spirit, open heart and mind.

2) Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

I never like those kind of questions because it makes me feel insecure. Iโ€™m 24 right now so in 5 years I will be 29, thatโ€™s old hahah no. Sometimes, Iโ€™m afraid of the future and I just donโ€™t know what I want do in my life. I never have like a plan. I hopefully see myself in 5 years being even more happy with myself, have faced more fears, being able to deal better with my anxiety, doing things that makes me happy and make a career out of it. Hopefully, I also have travelled to more amazing and beautiful places in the world and have made more memories and aventures with the people I love in life. I see myself livinig in Spain or somewhere else where itโ€™s sunny and near to the ocean where I can surf.

3) Who is most important to you and why?

Definitely, my mother! โค She is the one that always support me in everything in life and is just always there for me. I love her so much. She is a strong and beautiful woman โค She is also the person who learned me Spanish and for that Iโ€™m forever blessed. Thanks to being able to speak Spanish, I won the essay contest of New York City and spoke at the United Nations.

4) What are 3 blog posts that everyone should have on their blog?

3 blog post that should be on every blog are one about ending the stigma of mental health illnesses, #me too campaign, and travels. Those are really important subjects for me and always keep me interested in reading them.

5) What is one thing you canโ€™t live without?

Thatโ€™s a difficult questionโ€ฆ. Maybe some people would say their phone haha, but actually I can live without it. Itโ€™s not a real need. One thing I surely canโ€™t live without is: WATER. I think many people take for granted all the things we have yet in so many countries in the world people still donโ€™t have access to water which is one of the primary needs during the life of a human being!!! We drink water, we wash our clothes with water, we shower, we cook,…. we need water. Itโ€™s also the best thing to drink in the Summer because it doesnโ€™t make me more thirsty like fanta or coca cola that contains so much sugar. I just love water even if itโ€™s tasteless haha. Itโ€™s the best thing in the world! โค It’s so damn refreshing! ๐Ÿ˜


Step 5: Nominate 5-11 bloggers with under 200 followers

It was a bit difficult find bloggers with less than 200 followers haha but I found some amazing bloggers :).

toomuchtooyoungblog.wordpress.com

prometheanreport.wordpress.com

moonlightsandmacaroons.wordpress.com

inspiringdude.wordpress.com

writtenbyroxy.wordpress.com

annepersonalblog.wordpress.com

thescintillation.com

lavenderhearts.blog

thehappinesshunt.wordpress.com


Step 6: Ask your nominee some questions

Iโ€™m excited to read your answers! ๐Ÿ™‚

1) Do you believe in life after death and why?

2) What do you find most important in life?

3) What would you do with the money if you won the lottery?

4) What is your favourite season and why?

5) What do you want to change in this world and why?

I had soooo much fun writing this long blog post even though it cost me some time but hereโ€™s it is ๐Ÿ˜Š. I hope you enjoy reading it.

Much love,

xoxo

 

 

All of my kindness is taken for weaknessย 

Hey lovely bloggers ๐Ÿ’ž,

โ€‹I think of this quote so much. It is from the song FourFiveSeconds from Rihanna and some other artists. This relates so much to my experiences in life and interaction with people. I always treat people with respect and am always kind. Unfortunately, all of my kindness is taken for weakness. Why do you think? ๐Ÿ’ญ

Kindness in today’s world is so rare that whenever people come across with someone that is kind, they assume it to be weakness. It is so much easier to hate and be judgmental. I don’t see kindness as a weakness. I see it as a strength. Being kind in a sometimes dark world takes so much courage.

Unfortunately, the kind people are the ones who suffer the most. I have had so many times that people took advantage of me and bullied me because of my kindness. They know I will never become angry or hateful. I am an easy target. However, I tried to change. I wanna be mean sometimes but I just fucking can’t. It’s not in my personality to be mean at people.

I have learned that kindness is a strength. I have learned that I don’t have to change and become this angry person because that won’t bring me any good in my life. I have learned that I can stay myself. I just have to set boundaries for people and say no more often and don’t let people taking advantage of me. I have learned to stay away from negative and judgemental people.

Why should you change yourself to be accepted in this world? No, fucking no. Even though in my opinion there are a lot of bad people out there, there are still so many good and kind people out there too. You just have to find them. We need people who are kind to each other in this world. You never know what they are going through.

It’s just sooo important to be surrounded with people who support and care about you. Kindness is such a good thing. If there wouldn’t be any kind person on this planet, it would be a really dark world. Shout out to all those beautiful kind people who take the fucking courage to be kind even though they have been hurt! ๐Ÿ‘

Don’t let the world make you hate or break your own heart. Never change. Stay kind and true to yourself ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ’ซ You are beautiful just the way you are ๐Ÿ’ž

Much love to all of you ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo

World mental health day; Remember, you are not alone ๐Ÿ’ž

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•,

Today is an important day in the world. Today it’s world mental health day. This subject is close to my heart because I have struggled and still struggle with anxiety for like my whole life. I have already shared a lot about having anxiety on my blog. I was always feeling anxious for new things, changes in life, presentations, for dentists or doctors appointments, just anything that make me feel uncomfortable. Everybody can feel this way in their lives.

However, I felt it way more heavy than others. I’m also a highly sensitive person which means that I feel more. I feel every emotion so deep, may it be a bad or good emotion. I’m also a person who analyse and overthink every situation which makes my anxiety even worse. 

Last year I went to the doctor in The Netherlands and got some therapy sessions but it didn’t seem to work. It made my anxiety even worse. It ain’t for everybody. I also took some natural meds such as St. Jans Wort but it didn’t seem to work. Since I went to the doctor here in Spain and got subscriped antidepressants I feel sooo much better than before. These weeks I feel bad again, but it’s the transition of college to real life. I know this energy will shift again. There are just bad and good periods in my life. 

For anybody suffering from a mental health issue please talk with a loved one, get support and help and do what feels right to you. If therapy sessions makes you feel better, do it. If exercise as yoga, swimming or surfing helps, do it. Don’t feel ashamed. I was so ashamed of taking antidepressants because I felt like that if I take that I would be crazy in my head. We can take meds for physical pain but not for mental pain?! Like there needs to be a different mindset. Just do what feels good to you.

For me these things make me feel good about myself:

  • Surfing: I really can’t wait to surf again and feel so free
  • Reading: I love to read novels and self help books
  • Writing: I love to write poems 
  • Blogging: I love to write on this blog. It’s my safe space with such a lovely community ๐Ÿ’ž 
  • Singing: I used to sing in a choir for 11 years
  • Being surrounded by my family and friends who support me
  • Nature: It’s just the best for our health ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’ž Fresh air ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿƒ
  • Photography
  • Being creative
  • Travelling: I love to go to new places and can distance myself from all the worries I have
  • Swimming
  • Yoga
  • Eating and sleeping well

There are so many other things that you can do to make you feel good. You just have to find what’s best for you. You know yourself as it best. Remember, to always be kind to yourself. You are loved and not alone. 

We need to end the mental health stigma. Every day is mental health day. Mental health is as important as physical health. There are still so many people from all different ages and nationalities suffering. They all need help and we need to end the stigma around this issue. They are not crazy in their minds, they need help, support and compassion. To raise awareness you can draw a circle on your hand with the hastag #iamwhole or wear something yellow with the the hastag #helloyellow and post it on social media.

Remember, we are all in this together, you are not alone ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’ซ

Much love,

xoxo ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’ž

You can either run from your past or learn from it ๐Ÿ’ซ

Hey lovely bloggers ๐Ÿ’•,

I just love this quote so much from R.M. Drake from Instagram ๐Ÿ’œ. You can all follow him on Instagram. I love his poetry and books he has written. This is exactly the way I’m feeling right now. If anybody feels this way too, remember you are not alone in this. Sometimes I still feel the the pain of my past. The pain of having my heart broken and giving my heart to the wrong people. It still fucking hurts ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜ข .

I wish I could hate you and write everything that I hate about you… but I just can’t. There’s still a little piece in my heart that loves you, and maybe always will. First loves always hurt. First break ups even more. This Christmas it will be already 5 years since you left me. It’s such a long time ago. I’m so much better than before and almost don’t cry about you anymore but sometimes it still hits me how you broke my heart into pieces. We were too young.  I wanna feel love again and I know I can. It just takes time. My heart needs to heal. 

I also feel the hurt of people who hurt me in the past. I can still remember of people bullying me and making me feel worthless. When I meet new people I’m afraid to open up. When I know they are good people I can make life long friendships. I just have to feel safe. I have to remember myself that I’m not my past. I have to remember myself that I’m strong enough to let it all go.

If anybody feels this way too, remember that you are loved and not alone. We all go through hard times, just not at the same time. We all have to deal with toxic people in our lives. The best thing ever I did was to let those people go and only surround myself with good people, the ones who lift you up and will love you no matter what happens. You can either run from your past or learn from it like they say in The Lion King ๐Ÿ’• .

Learn from it, grow and be the best version of yourself because you fucking deserve all the good things of the world. You are beautiful and loved ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’ซโœŒ

Much love,

xoxo ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•