April book reviews πŸ“šπŸ’–

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I hope you are all doing fine while the world is going crazy 😱. I’m having anxiety some days and now feel not well with cramps, headaches and so tired. I just had my period too. I just hope I’m not getting sick again like in February or that it’s something more scary. I have sometimes anxiety about my health too. It gets overwhelming especially these days πŸ˜”. I just hope everything will be fine one day πŸ™. At least I’m still blogging, reading, writing, grouding myself, doing yoga, meditation and I’m still kinda alive.

I know this blog post is waaaay too late but it doesn’t matter haha πŸ˜‚. I already finished reading some other books but first I want to share some reviews of the books I’ve read last year. In this blog post I will review the books The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon and Moon Theory by R. M. Drake. I had to do these reviews earlier because it’s much easier to write a blog post when you just have read the books and it’s still fresh in your mind. Anyway, I hope you will like this post as I know many of you are also readers. Books are life! πŸ“šβ€οΈ

The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Summary:

The Great Gatsby is an important book of the writing career of F. Scott Fitzgerald. It’s considered one of the great classics of the twentieth-century literature. In his book he writes about the Jazz Age. The story is about Jay Gatsby who is very rich and about his new love called Daisy. Gatsby is famous for his big parties πŸŽ‰ where he invites a lot of people on Long Island. The story shows exactly how America was during the 1920s.

My review:

I love how Fitzgerald writes in this book because some sentences feels very poetic. It’s a good book which made you feel like you are living during the 1920s in America πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ. I loved to read about the big parties and how fancy their clothes were. I would love to go to one of his parties even though I don’t drink at all haha. I have to admit that sometimes I found the writing style difficult because there were some words I didn’t understand so sometimes I found it difficult to keep reading. I’m used to reading Young Adult books so it was something different to read.

Quotes:

β€œAnd so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.”

β€œHe looked at her the way all women want to be looked at by a man.”

Stars: ⭐⭐⭐

I give this book three stars because I liked it but it isn’t one of my favourite books. I just prefer young adult books because they are much easier to read. However, it’s a good book and I’m sure many of you also liked it.

Everything, Everything – Nicola Yoon

Summary:

This book is about a girl called Madeline who has a rare disease. It’s a form of Severe Combined Immunodeficiency. She is allergic to everything and can’t leave her house. She hasn’t left her house for already 15 years. Her mother and her nurse Carla take care of her. One day everything change because some new neighbors came. Olly will change her life for good πŸ’•. She wants to feel alive and wants to do everything life has to offer. Madeline knows for sure that she is going to fall in love with Olly and that it will be a hell of a ride.

My review:

I have never read a book that fast for a long time. I finished this book in two weeks during last Summer 🌞. It was so AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL!!! πŸ˜πŸ’–It was also such an easy book to read. I love how the writer makes you fall in love with the characters so fast and made you feel like you actually live that story. It was just so incredible. The end was also a plot twist. I won’t say any spoilers for the ones who didn’t read it. I think it’s such an inspiring book and also such a beautiful love story but not in a cliche way. I definitely cried some tears. There are some really great quotes which I will share below with you.

Quotes:

β€œFrom so high above it, the world seems ordered and deliberate.
But I know it’s more than that. And less. It is structured and chaotic. Beautiful and strange.”

β€œLife is a gift. Don’t forget to live it.” 

β€œEverything’s a risk. Not doing anything is a risk, It’s up to you.”

β€œMaybe growing up means disappointing the people we love.”

β€œYou can find the meaning of life in a book.”

 β€œYou hate the ocean?
I don’t hate it. I respect it. Respect. It’s Mother Nature at her finest – awesome, beautiful, impersonal, murderous.”

Stars: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Definitely 5 stars! πŸŒŸπŸ’« It was a fun, beautiful and inspiring book. This is already one of my favourite books which I’ve ever read. I also loved the drawings in this book which were made by the hushband of Nicola Yoon. It fits perfectly with the story and made it even better. You could really live with the characters, live through their story and feel their emotions.

Moon Theory – Robert M. Drake

Summary:

This poetry book is about self love πŸ’–, love, life and everything in between. Robert M. Drake is a poet and became famous on Instagram. This book is a collection of many poems of him. Many poems are about being real, being yourself, standing up for yourself and feeling your feelings as they come and go. He has written loads of poetry books.

My review:

I loved this poetry book so much! πŸ˜„ It was so well written. All the poems were so beautiful and inspiring. I could really feel all of his emotions and also relate to them in my own life. It was just so good. Some of the poems made me emotional too. He also write poetry which is mental health related. It makes me feel less alone. We need those people so badly in this world especially this time πŸŒπŸ™. They are the ones who heal our hearts. While reading this book you can heal your own heart too. He is such a great writer. I will show some of my favourite poems below.

Stars: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I give this book 5 stars of course without any doubt! It was a beautiful poetry book. I wish to read more poetry books of him and also some novels he has written. I hope they will be as good as this one or maybe even better who knows.

Thank you so much for reading this blog post. Have you read any of these books? Did you like them? What are you reading right now? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina



Poem: Life is unfair

Hola lovelies πŸ’•,

I wrote this a few days ago because I was feeling emotional and had to cry. It’s about an illness you all know: cancer. I wrote a poem about it too.

Lately I can’t sleep well so last night was not an exception. What do I do when I can’t sleep? Writing, writing and writing. I love to write especially poems as well. When there’s so much in my mind I need to let it go. You know that feeling that even though when you are struggling yourself you want to help people who are struggling too? That feeling of impotence is what I feel right now. It makes me even feel guilty to have fun in life sometimes because I see so much pain in this world which breaks my whole heart πŸ’”πŸ˜’

I’m really feeling all the feels. I feel emotional and I also feel anger. Life is so unfair. I cried when I heard the awful news that Lisa from my choir died from cancer which I wrote in this post. I cried when I heard that my neighbour died last month because of cancer. I cried when I heard that someone I know very well has cancer now. Here I’m crying again because Lisanne has another form of cancer again 😒 It’s just so awful. She has neuroblastoma and now she has leucemia too. Lisanne is almost 6 years old. She is a child from a man which I know from my choir too. I’m thinking that this could happen to any child like my niece too.

I just had to write this poem in respect for everyone who has lost someone because of cancer or is going through this sickness. I also shared it on my poetry account seaofwordsx. I’m here for you all πŸ’—. In the past I donated money for a cancer organization and also for the organization for neuroblastoma. I will keep doing that in the future because I hope that that will cure more people of cancer πŸ™.

I’m always here for anyone who needs me. I love to help people and will keep doing that forever. We are always in this together πŸ’ͺ I’m sending you all my love and strength. I love you all so so so much πŸ’ž

Thank you all for reading this blog post and my poem. I hope you liked it and it inspired you ✨. Did you love my poem? Do you also know someone who suffers from cancer? Do you also sometimes feel impotence when you see so many people suffering in the world and you don’t know how to help them? I will speak you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Spanish spoken poetry: Venezuela will be free πŸ’—πŸ™

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I just had to write this poem about what’s happening in Venezuela right now. I made a spoken poetry video of it. It breaks my heart and I cry about it πŸ’”πŸ˜­ I always feel inspired to write when something touches my heart. I’m not from Venezuela and never been there but I can feel their pain. I’m a sensitive person.

I find it so hard to understand why someone would not want to help their citizens. It’s just so inhumane. The citizens need help, food and medications. There are so many people dying in Venezuela. I really hope a solution will come soon πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺπŸ™ You are not alone. The video is in Spanish because that’s the main language there. I also wrote an English translation.

This is the video of my poem:

Here’s the Spanish written version:

Venezuela serΓ‘ libre πŸ’ͺπŸ’—

Voy andando por las calles

Me pregunto quΓ© occure?

Veo los Venezolanos asustados

Les veo llorando y gritando

Me pregunto quΓ© estΓ‘ pasando?

En pocos minutos me doy cuenta quΓ© estΓ‘ pasando

El dictador Maduro estΓ‘ impediendo la ayuda humanitaria y los camiones con alimentos y medicinas en la frontera de Venezuela

Mientras tanto hay gente muriendose en Venezuela

Mi corazΓ³n se parte en cachos

Me preguntΓ³ porquΓ© se ha llegado a este punto

La violencia sΓ³lo mata a personas y no soluciona nada

El amor siempre gana

Va a ver una soluciΓ³n pronto

Juan GuaidΓ³ y todo el mundo estΓ‘ con vosotros

Venezuela serΓ‘ libre!

Va a llegar el dΓ­a en que los Venezolanos puedan vivir en paz

Si hoy luchan

MaΓ±ana tendran LA LIBERTAD! πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’—


Here’s the English translation:

Venezuela will be free πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’—

I’m walking down the streets

I ask myself what’s happening?

I see the Venezuelans being scared

I see them crying and shouting

I ask myself what’s going on?

In a few minutes I know what’s happening

The dictator Maduro is preventing the humanitarian aid and the trucks with food and medication at the border of Venezuela

Meanwhile people are dying in Venezuela

My heart falls into pieces

I ask myself how did it come so far

Violence only kills people and it doesn’t solve anything

Love always win

There will be a solution soon

Juan GuaidΓ³ and the whole world is there for you all

Venezuela will be free

The day will come that the Venezuelans can live in peace

If they fight today

Tomorrow they will have FREEDOM! πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’—

Thank you all for reading and watching my poem about what’s happening in Venezuela. Do you have heard or read about what’s happening? Did you like my poem? Let me know your opinion. I’m here for you all. We are all in this together always! πŸ’ͺπŸ’— You are never alone.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Poem: That’s what real love is πŸ’•

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I was just in the mood of writing poetry. I would love to share my last written poem with you all. It’s about loving a person for who they are. I wrote it for myself and for every woman out there who may feel this way. We all want to be loved for being ourselves. I hope you will like this poem.

That’s what real love is πŸ’•

She is vulnerable and sensitive

She is funny but oh so fragile

She is wild and crazy

She is beautiful and smart

She is romantic and creative

She is all you ever wanted

But

She is also the girl who cries herself to sleep

She can feel sad for no reason

She get anxious very fast

She has mood swings

She is sometimes hard to deal with

If you really want to love her you will have to love every part of her because that’s what love is about

Accepting the person for who they are and loving them unconditionally

Then you know it’s real love πŸ’•

Thank you all for reading this poem. I loved writing it. I always get inspired at night. Can you relate to it? Did you like this poem? Would you love to see more poetry that I wrote on my blog? ✨ I would love to know your thoughts. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Poem: This is what anxiety looks like

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

This blog post will be about a picture and a poem written by myself. So I never shared such an emotional picture of me crying but I just felt the need to do it. I have never been this vulnerable. The picture where I’m smiling on the left was taken yesterday afternoon. The other picture on the right where I was crying was taken last night. I was crying last night and feeling like I couldn’t cope with life. I keep being so anxious about getting one of my wisdom teeth pulled out. I really have to face this fear. I’m also on my period and not feeling that well. I’m also keep thinking about that I don’t have a job because of feeing anxious. These two pictures are just taken within a few hours of difference. I will now write a little poem about these pictures.

This is what anxiety looks like

Suffering from anxiety is being anxious but still smiling.

Suffering from anxiety means crying.

Suffering from anxiety is feeling nauseous.

Suffering from anxiety is having constant worries.

Suffering from anxiety is overthinking all the time.

Suffering from anxiety is feeling dizzy.

Suffering from anxiety is being afraid to die during a panic attack.

Suffering from anxiety is being afraid to leave your home.

Suffering from anxiety is cancelling plans with your friends.

Suffering from anxiety is not knowing what is wrong.

Suffering from anxiety is constant living between escaping your fears or facing them and feeling anxious.

Suffering from anxiety is being tired of feeling anxious all the time.

Suffering from anxiety is a hell.

Suffering from anxiety is being afraid of searching for a job or going to school.

Suffering from anxiety is being afraid of doing daily things.

Suffering from anxiety means feeling your heart beating fast.

Suffering from anxiety is hard because it’s an invisible mental illness.

Suffering from anxiety is not something choose.

Suffering from anxiety is an illness which you have to fight every day with.

I just wanted to write this poem because it’s related to these pictures. Having anxiety or any other mental illness or invisible illness is hard because you don’t see the illness. Just because someone is smiling doesn’t mean they are happy. They can feel anxious or be depressed. You don’t know what someone is going through. I also hide my anxiety behind my smile. People always assume I’m happy and that’s draining me. I just smile and laugh a lot because it’s part of my personality.

Of course, I’m also happy at times but there are also times I’m not and I still smile because that’s part of who I’m. I just want to let you all know that it’s important to not judge someone by their looks. Ask them how they are really feeling and be there for that person. They need your support. We are all in this together πŸ’ͺπŸ’•

Thank you all for reading this blog post and poem. Could you relate to it? Do you also smile because it’s part of your personality? Did you like my poem? I would love to know your thoughts. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Spanish spoken poetry video: We are all Laura πŸ’œ (Violence against women)

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Before I begin with this short blog post I would like to say that I have a giveway going on my Instagram. You just have to follow me there, like my picture and comment why you want to win. You also need to be Europe based. I just wanted to give something back. I’m so thankful for all your support and love I have on my blog and on that Instagram account. I love you all so much 😍😍😍.

Before I post some Christmas blog posts I wanted to post this blog post. I just needed to share this here. I also shared it on my Instagram: Poetry video. This is my Youtube account which I never use but I just felt the urge to share it there too. My video on my main account of Instagram already had more than 1500 views and more than 100 likes which is just so much wow. I have never made a video reading one of my poems before but tonight is the night that I’m going to do it. I wrote it in Spanish because it’s about a Spanish girl but I will also translate it in English down below. I just had to write about what happened. This poem is for all women who are suffering from violence against women in every form possible. You are not alone. Together we are stronger πŸ’ͺ. They will not silence us.

Laura is a Spanish girl who was only 26 years old when she got missed a few days ago in Huelva in Andalucia. That’s in the south of Spain. She was a teacher in that village. She was missing and never came back alive πŸ’”πŸ˜’. They found her body on Monday half naked. I have to say that there’s one mistake in my poem which is that she was running. Right now they are investigating how she died. I saw the Spanish news and they said one man which was a neighbor from her killed her. He already killed a woman a few years ago and was in prison. I really don’t know why they let this crazy man free.

He locked her into his car and wanted to rape her but she resisted. Then he hit her with something on her head. She died a few days later. We still don’t know where the body was the days she was missing. It’s just a horrible story 😒. Again, another victim of violence against women. With all my frustration and pain I’m feeling right now I just needed to express my emotions in this poem. You can read my English translation of this poem down below:

We all are Laura

She was called Laura

She only had 26 years

A year less than I’m

She was a teacher

She went running and never came back

She got murdered

We all are Laura

We don’t want to be afraid when we are walking alone at night

We don’t want to be afraid because we are a woman

We don’t want to have our keys in our hands to enter fast our home

We don’t that men see us as an object

We don’t want to live in a patriarchal world

We don’t want that the world judge women when they are getting raped

We want to be free, protected by society and treated with respect

Free, healthy and safe is what we want to be

It’s enough!

Not one more!

We are all Laura ❀


Spanish version:

Laura somos todas

Se llamaba Laura

TenΓ­a tan sΓ³lo 26 aΓ±os

Un aΓ±o menos que yo

Fue profesora

SaliΓ³ a correr y no volviΓ³ nunca mΓ‘s

Fue asesinada

Laura somos todas

No queremos tener miedo por la noche cuΓ‘ndo andamos solas

No queremos tener miedo por ser una mujer

No queremos tener las llaves en la mano para entrar pronto a casa

No queremos que los hombres nos vean como un objeto

No queremos vivir en este mundo patriarcado

No queremos que el mundo nos juzgue a las mujeres cuΓ‘ndo somos violadas

Queremos ser libres, protegidas por la sociedad y tratadas con respeto

Libres, sanas y salvas eso es lo que queremos

Basta ya!

Ni una mΓ‘s!

Todos somos Laura ❀️


I know almost none of my followers can speak Spanish but the words sounded better in Spanish. I wanted to share both the original Spanish version and also the English translation. Maybe, in the future I will also make a video of the English version.

Thank you all for watching my video and for reading this poem. Did you like this poem? What are you thoughts of the topic of violence against women? Are you also a feminist? I’m a feminist by heart and will forever continue to spread awareness about this topic. Together we can make a change. They will not silence us πŸ’ͺπŸ’œ.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Hey, you. Don’t give up, okay? πŸ’•βœ¨πŸ’—πŸ™

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

We all need this reminder. As I’m struggling in life right now with having anxiety about the future, being nauseous all the time, job anxiety and just about everything I need to know to not give up. I wrote this poem a few nights ago because when I can’t sleep at night and feel bad is when I feel the most inspired to write. I love to write poems and want to write and share more of them on my blog.Β It’s pretty amazing how that works, right?! Writing makes me feel so happy. I will never stop writing. I just wanted to write this for you all. I hope it will give you some hope βœ¨πŸ™

We all need to know that we will find a light through our darkest times.

We all need to know that we can go through hard times in life.

We all need to know that feelings come and go.

We all need to know that life’s is about the little moments.

We all need to know that better things are coming.

We all need to know that life’s about finding the balance between the good and the bad.

We all need to know that life’s hard but we are thougher.

We all need to know that we are loved.

We all need to know that we aren’t alone in our feelings and thoughts.

We all need to know that there’s someone who feels exactly the same way as we do.

We all need to know that this too shall pass.

We all need to know that we will find a purpose in life.

We all need to know that being alive is the greatest gift of all.

We all need to know that true happiness is loving yourself unconditionally.

We all need to know that there will be a time where we find our happiness again.

We all need to know that we are warriors and that we won’t give up πŸ’ͺ

We all need to know that we are all in this together and that we will stick together ❀️

Keep going lovelies, never give up!

Thank you all for reading this blog post. Did you like this poem? Did it make you feel happy and inspired? πŸ’« I would love to know your thoughts. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Love you all so much πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

November book reviews πŸ“–πŸ’•

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

This will be a new theme in my blog posts which I’m happy about it. This will be my first book review post. I’m really excited about writing about books πŸ˜πŸ“– I’m into reading again and I love it. Every time I read I feel so happy and just feel as I’m in another world, my dream world. I know many of you know what I mean. I just read three amazing books these months which are: “Am I normal yet” by Holly Bourne, “The alchemist” by Paulo Coelho and “The sun and her flowers” by Rupi Kaur. I will make a review about them and rate them with stars. I will try to not have any spoilers in my reviews haha. I just wrote a little summary about what the book is about and if I liked it or not.

Am I Normal Yet – Holly Bourne

Summary:

This book is about Evie who is the main character in this book. She’s a 16 years old girl who has OCD and Generalised Anxiety Disorder. She’s going to college for the first time in her life. She had a tough time and not that she’s almost off her medication and feeling better she just want to be act and live as a normal girl. She don’t want anyone to know that she has these mental illnesses. She just wants to be normal and go to college, have fun and get a boyfriend. At college she find her two best friends which are Lottie and Amber. Together they make The Spinster Club. In these meetings they meet each other and talk about feminism πŸ‘­πŸ’œ. This is the first book of The Spinster Club book series from Holly Bourne.

My review:

I really loved this book so much. It was an easy book to read. I love Young Adult books so much. Holly Bourne is an amazing writer who writes about feminism and mental health in such a honest, vulnerable and raw way. The writing style is also funny and just feels so real. I really love that so much. When I’m reading the thoughts and feelings of Evie I can really understand it as I also suffer from anxiety. This is an amazing book about friendships, mental health and feminism. These three themes are really important and close to my heart. I also consider myself a feminist by heart. This book is realistic and was so beautiful to read. Now, I also know more how someone with OCD thinks and feels. I didn’t know that much about this mental illness. It’s more than just washing hands. It’s about rituals, being afraid of getting sick all the time and so much more. I encourage anyone to read this amazing book. You will not regret it.

Stars: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I give this book 5 stars because it’s just a beautiful and easy book to read. The moment you began reading you are already in the story which I love. I also love books about feminism and mental health. I can’t wait to read the other books from this serie written by Holly Bourne about the Spinster Club.

The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho

Summary:

The book is about a young boy who’s called Santiago. He is a Spanish shepherd with sheeps and lives in the South of Spain, in Andalucia. He dreamt twice that he was in Egypt by the pyramids where he had to find a treasure. Santiago wants to travel the world to find out how the world works. Santiago travels from him homeland in Spain to the Egyptian desert in search of a treasure buried in the Pyramids. Along the way he meets a Gypsy woman, a man who calls himself king, and an alchemist. The alchemist knows all the secrets of the world. No one knows what the treasure is, or if Santiago will be able to surmount the obstacles along the way. It’s a very long way.

My review:

This book was so beautiful. This book is all about finding your soul in this world and knowing what your purpose is in life. It makes me think of following your dreams in life. It’s a really touching story which makes you think of everything. We all have dreams in life and we have to make them come true. When you have a dream in your life the whole universe will make it come true. This book makes me also think of how important it is to listen to our hearts because they never lie. Always listen to your heart and let your life be guide by your heart β€οΈπŸ™. Your heart always know which direction to go in life.

Stars: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I give this book 5 stars because it was such an amazing book to read. I love Paulo Coelho and I really would love to read more books of him. It’s also an easy book to read. This book made me think of my life and my dreams. This book made me feel inspired, positive and happy to follow all my dreams in life and to make them true. It’s all about living your best life according to your values.

The Sun and Her Flowers – Rupi Kaur

Summary:

This is a poetry book. Her first book was “Milk and Honey”. I still need to buy and read that book. This is her second book and it’s a collection of her poetry. The pages are illustrated by Rupi Kaur. The Sun and Her flowers is a poetry book devided into five chapters. It’s a journey of wilting, falling, rooting, rising & blooming. It’s a celebration of love in all its forms πŸŽ‰πŸ’•.

My review:

Aaaah this poetry book was so good! Just wow. Every poem I’ve read and every drawing I saw was just so beautiful. I could feel the words in my head and understand the emotions and thoughts. Her poetry is just so amazing. It was also easy to read. I love poetry but I don’t like to read really difficult poems that I don’t understand. These poems were really easy to understand and were all so amazing. Her poetry is so honest, real and pure 😍. She can also draw so beautifully. They pictured very well the poem on the page.

Stars: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I also give this book 5 stars because it’s an amazing book full of beautiful poems and drawings. Rupi Kaur is an amazing writer. Her poems are easy to understand, so raw and so honest. I really love her so much and I can’t wait to read the first book of her “Milk and Honey”. Hopefully, I will be able to meet her one day too. I hope that she will come to Europe for a poetry show.

Thank you all for reading my first book review post. I hope you all liked this blog post. Maybe, I will write more of them ☺️. I wil keep reading good books haha. Did anyone of you read any of these books? Which one was your favourite and why? Do you also love reading as much as I do? Let me know in the comments. I would love to know your thoughts. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Sometimes all you need is a trip to the ocean πŸŒŠπŸŒžπŸ„

Hola lovelies πŸ’•,

I’m really feeling like I’m in stuck lately. I feel like everyone is moving on with their lives and I’m not. It feels like I’m not living at all but just surviving with these feelings and thoughts. I just have to take it day by day. My anxiety is getting bad again as you may you have read in my last blog posts. In this blog post I will tell you why I spontaneous planned a trip to the beach with my mum and why it will help my mental health so much.

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I edited this collage with beautiful beach quotes I found ✌

Last week, I enjoyed the fiestas of Valladolid which was 10 days long. I enjoyed the delicious tapas, I went to amazing concerts and I had fun with my mother and friends. Last Friday, I was waiting for an artist to get a picture with them and you never know who I saw also waiting for the artist: the dentist. The one I’ve to go and the one who did the dental implant of my mother. Hhahah it was so funny and also kinda awkward πŸ˜‚. I was all the time talking about how I’ve to go to the dentist and that I’m anxious about it. My mother said maybe that’s him. Then he turned around and he said “hola” to my mother and to me “oh so you are the one who is afraid.” I said yes haha feeling shy. He was with a girl and I saw them kissing a lot lol it was such a pretty random meeting. He was also smoking which I think is pretty strange if you are a dentist, right?! I think smoking isn’t that good for your tooth but hey, that’s my opinion. We talked a bit about the artists and he said he enjoyed the concert and then they walked away. He seemed pretty handsome πŸ˜†. He’s like 40 years I guess.

Last Wednesday, I entered the dentist clinic and I really had to force myself to make an appointment. I didn’t see the dentist. I went with my mother and we only talked to a woman in the reception. She seemed nice and they even had a video with ambiance music with nature sounds. Hahah, seems perfect for anxious people like me πŸ˜‚. She said we had to make an appointment because everything was full that day. I said I didn’t have any pain only that my wisdom teeth aren’t okay. I’ve an appointment for next Wednesday at 7.00 in the afternoon. I hope I’ll not again postpone it and don’t go. I know I’ve to go and that’s is the best for my health. It’s only to make a picture of my tooth and talk with the dentist. You all know I’ve airplane tickets to go back to The Netherlands on the 26 of September. So, I don’t know if I need to get a treatment for my wisdom teeth before and if there’s enough time for it. I prefer to do it here because if he really is nice and caring, it would be much better for me. It’s also cheaper in Spain. I’ve been thinking to send the dentist clinic a message on Facebook about my anxiety but maybe that would be strange.

So, Wednesday night I couldn’t sleep again and was thinking that I really need to get away to feel better. I had to something to feel less anxiety and be happy again. I knew exactly what it was. I wanted to go to a Surf Camp in Somo, Santander which is in the north of Spain for so long. I also wanted to surprise my mother because her birthday is on the 22th of September. My father’s birthday was a few weeks ago and I sent him via a website a pie with some designed pictures so I also wanted to do something special for my mother. I was looking for hotels and found a cheap hotel in Somo, a paradise for surfers. This hotel has also a delicious Italian restaurant. Pizza and a beach hotel is just the perfect combination πŸ•πŸŒŠ. I’m already hungry for the pizza I’m going to eat 😍. The hotel is just 150 meters from the beach. I booked spontaneous a hotel for two nights which costed €110 which is pretty cheap. We are going this Sunday until Tuesday. The reviews of this hotel were so good too. I’m not going to a Surf Camp because the last one was this weekend. Instead, I’m going to take surf classes for €30 πŸ„πŸŒŠπŸŒž. I didn’t surf since two years so I’m really looking forward to it. Maybe, I will take one or two. My mother is really happy with this present. I’m so excited to go away for a few days. We still have to pack. My mother already bought the train tickets. It was like €78 for both and with some discount cards. 

Sometimes you just have to do what your mind tells you to do as in ways of doing spontaneous things such as travelling. Travelling always make me so happy even though flying makes me anxious. I prefer to travel by bus or train. I know flying is safe but I still feel anxious on airplanes and especially when there are turbulences. I just need to go to a beautiful place to clear my mind and be at peace. The best place to go for me is the beach. Feeling the wind in my hair, tasting the salt sea, hearing the waves, watching the waves crashing into the rocks, smelling the salt air all creates me a sense of peace. The sea gives me so much happiness. It always makes me so happy. I feel more calm and my anxiety become less. When I’m at the beach I feel one with the world and I can’t think of any problems. It all disappear just at that moment. Whenever I take the first step on the sand I already feel that the world is a happy place and that I belong here. In another blog post, I will write more about my relationship with the sea. I’ve always loved the sea. In The Netherlands, I lived just 15 min by car or one hour by bike from the sea. Here in Spain, the nearest place for me is Santander. It takes 3 hours by train or 4 and a half hours by bus. The beach of Somo is 30 minutes away by bus or 15 min by boat from Santander. 

Somo is a beautiful beach to enjoy for especially surfers. I’ve always wanted to go there and now I’m finally going and I feel like I’m in heaven when I look at this two videos. The beach is so beautiful. It’s a paradise for beach lovers as me. You can swim in the ocean and take beautiful walks. I love to walk on the beach. I love to swim in the ocean. I love to surf. I love to read on the beach. I love to take pictures on the beach. You can do so many amazinf activities on the beach. The list is endless. This beach is more than 2000 km long and it’s a beach of sand which I love. I don’t like beaches with rocks or stones that much. It hurts me. I love to feel the soft sand in my toes. I’m always covered with sands haha whereas so many other people hate it. The sand is my friend hahaha πŸ˜‚. I love it all. Beautiful nature πŸ˜πŸ’•πŸŒŠπŸŒž.  

Just look at these two videos I found on Youtube and you will know what I mean.

The sea cures everything. The salty water is so good for your health. I’ve also felt afraid in the ocean and respect it much because it seems like a infinite place. I can swim very well but I’m afraid to drown. I never go too deep into the ocean just to be safe. I remember a time I went to a Surf Camp in Galicia in the north of Spain too and was afraid of the high waves there. There was also bad weather so it didn’t make it better. I was looking at the weather and it will be between 22 and 28 degrees the days we’re going so that’s perfect πŸ‘Œ. The water is always much colder than the south of Spain. It also rains a lot in this region (Cantabria) so I always check the weather before I go. I just love to be in the sea, swim and surf. I never catched a real wave so hopefully one day I will. I can stand on the surfboard. I’m just still learning and just having fun which is the most important. I didn’t do it for two years so I’m still a beginner. I have to look if I still fit in my wetsuit. The sea is my medicine. Everything about the sea makes me feel so calm. Nature definitely is so beautiful and we have to go there more and enjoy it more. Whenever I’m surfing, swimming or just walking at the beach I forget everything. I feel at peace at the moment. Just being present makes such a difference in my anxious mind. Not thinking about the past or not thinking about the future is just the best. I have to admit that I really have to focus more on the now even though it’s difficult. It makes such a different in your mindset.

I can’t wait to go on Sunday. I’m counting the hours to meet the real love of my life again, the ocean. My last time at the beach was at the end of July when I went to Granada. I already miss it so much. Here’s a little poem I wrote about the love I have for the ocean. I hope you like it. I want to share more poems which I wrote.

The love of the ocean 🌊

The ocean who is always there for me, in good and bad times.

The ocean who knows all my secrets.

The ocean who knows my fears.

The ocean who never let me down.

The ocean who calms my anxiety.

The ocean who cures everything.

The ocean who makes my heart so happy. 

The ocean is my home.

The ocean is where I belong.

I will never stop loving the ocean.

Sometimes all you need is vitamin sea. Just do the things which calm your soul and which makes you happy you are alive. We really have to do more things we love. At the end, we will only remember the trips we made, the people who love, the things as books, music and movies we listened and watched and which will hold deep memories. Do more of what makes you happy and free. We’ll always be young, wild, happy and free πŸ˜„βœŒπŸ’•.

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A beautiful picture and quote I edited. I took this picture some years ago at the beach Zandvoort in The Netherlands. I hope you like it πŸ˜„

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope it inspired you to go on more spontaneous trips and do things which really make you happy in life. Do you also have dentist anxiety and do you have some tips to be calm? Do you also love to go on spontaneous trips? Do you love the sea as much as I do? Did you like my pictures and poem? I would love to know your thoughts and opinion πŸ˜„. I speak to you all soon in my next blog post which problably will be about this trip and maybe a photo diary.

Much love ❀,

xoxo Christina

Poem: You are unbelievable enough πŸ’ž

Hey lovely community ❀❀❀,

I think I’m gonna share more poetry which I have made during my life. I love writing poetry. I liked writing poetry since I have been little. It just feels so good to write your thoughts and feeling on paper. I always feel so much lighter after I have written a poem. Just let me know what you think πŸ˜„. I hope it will inspire you all and bring some light into this sometimes dark world πŸ’«πŸ’ž

My personal Instagram is: christinax1993 and my poetry Instagram account is: seaofwordsx. I just leave this here if anybody is interested in it πŸ˜„ I share a lot of poems there but I wanna share more on my blog too. 

I made this poem for all my lovely, beautiful and amazing followers πŸ’– Especially the ones who are struggling right now and feel bad. Look in the mirrow and tell yourself that you are beautiful and enough because you are πŸ’œ Don’t let others or society tells you aren’t. You aren’t the scales on the weight, your mistakes and the pain you have suffered. You are so much more than that. You are a beautiful human being who light up this whole world just because you exists. You are capable of so many awesome things. The universe has your back πŸ’« 

Life wouldn’t be the same without you here. You have a purpose. You will feel okay again even if you feel like your whole world is falling apart. Feelings come and go. You are loved. You are never alone. If you feel lonely, look to the right and there I will be standing next to you, side to side. I may be far away but never apart πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’– 

I love you all so much with all my heart ❀❀❀

xoxo Christina