Reflection on 2018 & happy new year to you all! 🎉✨💕💫

Hey lovelies 💕,

Happy new year to you all! ✨🎉 In this post I will talk about my 2018 and will show you how I celebrated New Year’s Eve. I’m glad I don’t have a cold amymore but just tonight I got my period so yeah that also sucks 😭 I’m glad I take medication for the cramps because otherwise I wouldn’t survive it. Besides, I’m also being anxious about my appointment of getting one of my wisdom teeth pulled out this week. I keep postponing the appointment. I know I have to do it but I’m so scared. H e l p. I also don’t want to do it in Holland. Here in Spain it’s much cheaper and the dentist understands my anxiety but I’m still so afraid and I just feel like I can’t cope. If anyone have some more tips to survive it I will be forever grateful 🙏💕 I can always take medication for anxiety if that’s enough to help me cope with it.

IMG_20181228_221316.jpg

We are already in 2019. A year has flown by. As usually I want to reflect on my year with this post and also write some important things for you all. Every year has its ups and downs. Every year consists of good things and bad things which happen to us. The most important thing is how we react to all these things. I know how hard it’s to stay positive in this sometimes dark world. I just keep believing that there are so many good things in the world and that there are indeed so many good people. You just have to find your tribe. I’m so glad I did.

I’m so happy with my blogging community, mental health community, Yoga Girl community and the goddess revolution community. I’m thankful that I joined these communities this year. They made me feel less alone and so much happier. If I’m in Holland I will maybe go to a meet up with some yoga girls. I also really wish that we will continue to all be friends and hopefully one day we will all meet ✨ I know the universe brought us all together for a reason which is to be connected with awesome people, share our struggles and feel supported.

I learned a lot this year. I learn every day from this world. This year I realized that there are truly lovely people who care about you and want you to be happy. I learned that it’s better to have a few good friends than a million of fake friends. The ones who love you will always be there for you no matter what. I learned that true love exists when I saw my brother getting married in August in Spain. I learned that this life is an adventure. Sometimes we win and sometimes we loose. We learn from every experience. I also learned that it’s okay if I’m not where I want to be in life. I still have a long way to go. I will find a career I love and will keep growing. It all takes time, pacience and trust in myself. I have to love myself, believe in myself and know that I can make my dreams come true such as working and living in Spain ✨

I also went to my first feminist strike in Valladolid, in Spain on International Women’s Day on the 8th of March with my mother. This was such an empowerful event. I never went to a demonstration before. I really wish 2019 will be the year that less women will be suffering from violence. I wish that women and men have the same human rights. Together we are starting a revolution. This is just the beginning. 2019 will be the year where women can be themselves, love themselves and love each other 💕

This year I also learned that music is the best thing in life 🎶 I would be lost without music. I went to so many amazing concerts such as the Operación Triunfo 2017 concert in Madrid with my friend Maria 💕 Operación Triunfo makes me so happy and full of life. I also enjoyed the concert of Pablo Alboran, Chenoa, Hombres G and Celtas Cortos with my mother in Valladolid. I also enjoyed so much the concert of Sofia Ellar with my friend Maria. I can’t wait to see her again. It was so lovely to meet Sofia and get a picture with her. She’s the best and I can’t wait to see her singing again 😍

This year I began to read again a lot which I loved to do so much when I was younger. I will continue reading this new year. I also kept writing and being creative. I hope to create more amazing content on this blog. Writing is amazing. I travelled to Madrid, Granada, Santander and Somo. I discovered Somo which is a beautiful surfing village in the north of Spain. In 2019 I really want to go to a surf camp again 🏄‍♀️🌊🌞. I didn’t go surfing for more than two years. I miss it so much. It’s also so good for my mental health. The sea is my home and cleans my soul. The beach is my favourite place on this earth. I can’t wait to travel to more amazing places and meet more amazing people.

Somo, Santander (September 2018)

FB_IMG_1546375268526.jpg

Granada, Andalucia (July 2018)

FB_IMG_1546375301138.jpg

La Rábita, Mediterranean Sea, Granada (July 2018)

FB_IMG_1546375261807.jpg

Madrid (March 2018)

FB_IMG_1546375125136.jpg

Maybe for some of you this year was a hard year. Maybe some of you have lost someone close to you. Maybe you just didn’t felt okay and were struggling. I’m here for you. It’s okay to grief. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel sad. Feelings change and emotions change but it all takes time. Try to not be hard on yourself next year. Remember, I’ll will always be there for you 💕 I hope you will invest in self love and self care this new year because that’s the most important thing that matters. I also encourage you all to surround yourself with people who love you and who bring you only good vibes because you deserve that ✨.

I celebrated my New Year’s Eve in Valladolid, in Spain. I decided to not go out with my friends. I also didn’t go out last year. I used to party every year but I don’t feel in the mood anymore. I have to do what feels good to me. I went to the hairdressers in the afternoon to cut the dead ends, my bangs and they made curls in my hair. I love to look good for myself. I dressed up at home and did my make up. My mother and I went to the house of the mother of the wife of my brother. We celebrated all together New Year’s Eve: Rafael, my mother, Véronica, Véronica’s mother and her brother. We enjoyed eating delicious Spanish food.

We ate cheese, jamon serrano, chorizo, bread and chicken. I didn’t eat the fish because I don’t like fish so much haha 😂 At 12 o’clock we watched the television and ate the 12 grapes. We also had champagne 🥂. It’s a tradition in Spain to eat the 12 grapes. They say it brings luck. We watched television where we were hearing beautiful music and we played Spanish card games. I really loved it so much. I love playing games with my family. At 3.30 am my mother and I went home and we stayed in watching some television. We went to bed at 6 am pretty late but doesn’t matter because it’s a special night. I’m glad I didn’t go out because as soon as we were home I got my period haha. On New Year’s Day we just stayed in and chilled. I saw the movie Grease. I just love that movie & the music so much 😍 I also saw the movie Paper Towns which I love so much from John Green. I already saw this movie with my best friend one day and loved it.

l wish you all an amazing new year full of love, happiness and luck 🍀✨✌️ Stay strong & stay safe. We are all in this together 💪 I love you all so so so much ❤️. Thank you all for reading. How was your New Year’s Eve? Did you stay at home or did you went to a party? Which are your goals or dreams to achieve in 2019? I would love to know. I will speak to you all soon in my next blog post.

IMG_20190101_050820_592.jpg

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

World Mental Health Day; Remember, you are not alone 💕

Hola sweeties 😍,

Before I begin with this blog post I would like to share a short summary of the cremation of Lisa where I went last Wednesday. In case you didn’t read my last blog post here’s the link: Life is fragile. I know her from my choir. She got leucemia 8 years ago and got it back this year. She died at such a young age, only 29 years old. Me and my mother had to go one hour by bus to Lisse from Haarlem. We had to walk through a street surrounded by nature. Then we saw a woman in a car who asked us where the cremation was. She was also going and invited us for a ride which was really lovely of her. We were already near. When we arrived I saw some people from my choir and gave them a hug. It was really nice to see everyone again. They were so nice to me. The cerenomy almost looked like a catholic cremation because Lisa and her whole family are catholic.

We could see pictures and videos of Lisa. The choir sang some beautiful songs and also the brother of Lisa sang solo Ave Maria. It was so beautiful and even didn’t feel like a funeral. It was heartbreaking, emotional but also so beautiful. There were some beautiful speeches from her mother, her sister, her brother and her husband. Especially her sister and her hushband had a difficult time speaking. You could hear them crying which was so sad 😢. I didn’t cry that much. I cried already so much at home. It felt strange because I always cry so much. I could see everyone crying. At the end of the cerenomy we had to walk near to the coffin and first I was afraid but it wasn’t so scarry. I didn’t see her dead. The coffin was closed with flowers. I was sad seeing the family in the first row all crying. Then the rest of the cremation was only for the family, friends and some choir members.

Afterwards, I saw some teachers of my primary school and they hugged me and they were all in tears. Also one lovely man of the choir talked with me and I received a message afterwards that he wanted to talk longer with me. He said that I’m always welcome to go fridays after choir repetition to see my choir even if I don’t sing in my choir anymore. I will go once because he always understand me so well. I also told him once about my anxiety and everything. He support me so much. I will always be there for the family, friends and everyone who knows Lisa. I hope she’s in a better place now 🙏❤. My heart is with all of the people suffering from cancer or any illness.

Now, I’m going to talk about something really important too. This blog post will be about mental health. Today, October the 10th is a really important day in the world. Today it’s world mental health day. This topic is really close to my heart because as you all know I suffer from an anxiety disorder. I have had anxiety my whole life. Some days, months, years are better than others. People always told me that everyone gets nervous for an exam or for big changes in life such as moving out or getting a new job. It’s true that everyone get nervous or anxious. We all have physical and mental health. This two are not separated from each other. They’re connected to each other. Body and mind are one. I also talked about the difference between anxiety and an anxiety disorder in this blog post.

Here are some pictures of beach time 🌊🌞 today in The Netherlands 🇳🇱 I especially bought and wear this shirt of Positive Pages to spread awareness about mental health.

IMG_20181010_181752.jpg

When you feel like you can’t go trough life and your mental health is affecting all aspects in your life you may have a mental illness. When I get really anxious I feel so sick as in being dizzy, nauseous, heart beating fast, crying, feeling like you are going to die, shaking, and even throw up in some cases. That aren’t just nerves. That’s an anxiety disorder. This is my life. My anxiety disorder effects every aspect of my life. Right now, I’m struggling with my dentist fear and with my fear of trying something new such as getting my first job. It makes me feel so uncomfortable that sometimes I feel like giving up 😔.

Having a mental illness is so exhausting. I’m not ashamed of sharing my story anymore especially online. In real life I still feel sometimes that I can’t open up 100% and that it’s better to not be real because people wouldn’t understand it. I learned that there will always be people who would understand me and some people won’t. It doesn’t matter. I hope with sharing my story on my blog and on Instagram to inspire other people to be open and talk about it. Spreading awareness about mental health illnesses is just so important. You can also suffer even if you don’t have a mental health illness.

Sometimes I also even felt that my anxiety disorder isn’t such a big deal as there are people who have depression, commited suicide, self harm, bipolar, borderline, ocd, eating disorders and many other mental health illnesses. I’ve learned that every illness counts. Just because someone has it worse than you doesn’t mean your struggles or illnesses don’t count. Every feeling and thought is valid because you are feeling it. You are the only one who suffers from a mental illness every day.

I think the best way to help a loved one who is going through a mental health illness is just to be there for them. Listen to them. Sometimes the best thing you can do is give them a hug and say that you’ll be there for them. Often people give the wrong advice and that doesn’t help at all. For me, knowing that my family, some good friends and my online mental health community on my blog and Instagram will be there for me in good and bad times already makes a difference in my life. I love that I can be real, vulnerable and honest here without feeling judged. I think that’s so important.

There are people who always want to give advice to people and don’t want to hurt that person with their advice but in some way it isn’t good for the person who is suffering. They would say to someone suffering from depression to go for a walk and try to be happy. They would say to me to try to think positive and don’t always think about the worst and to stop worrying. It just isn’t that simple right. I hope that every day we are breaking this taboo of mental health with speaking up about it 💪. Mental health illnesses are real and everyone who suffer from them need support and professional help. How many times did I think I was crazy in my head?! So many times. The thing is I’m not. My mind is sick, this is my story but I’m more things that just a woman with an anxiety disorder. I’m brave to share my story and inspire people. I’m honest. I’m a highly sensitive person. I’m flawed but I’m beautiful and enough. So are you 💜.

The cure for recovering from a mental health illness is different for anyone. Some try therapy, others try natural meds (in my case it didn’t work out), others take medication such as antidepressants and others try other things or a combination of therapy and medication. I tried some therapy sessions two years ago but it seem to make me even more anxious and I always threw up before I go. I still don’t know if therapy would be good for me. Maybe, I can try therapy in Spain when I hopefully found work there and live there. I’m already taking antidepressants since February 2017, almost two years. It works well but sometimes I can still feel high anxious. I also got subscriped in Spain anti anxiety medication. This really helps me to cope in situations when I feel really anxious such as going to the dentist.

The stigma of taking medication for our mental health illnesses needs to end too. Taking medication can save lives. If it’s okay to go through chemotherapy to cure cancer or to take parecatamol for our headache then it’s okay too to take medication to cure our depression or anxiety. We need this to make us feel a bit better. We don’t have the natural neurotransmitters. We need some help with it. Those aren’t magic pills but will just keep us cope with life.

The thing is there’s no magic cure for curing a mental health illness. It all takes time. Recovery is hard. I think I will have anxiety my whole life but I just find along my way things which help me cope a bit better with it within time. Therapy, medication or other ways… there’s no right way. You just need to do what feels good for you. I hope anyone reading this who is struggling right now with their mental health can get the help and support they need. Speak up and go to a professional. They can help you further. I also know how difficult it’s to speak up so if anyone sees someone struggling or acting different than you are used to, talk with them and ask them how they’re really doing. It’s so important to be able to speak about our feelings and thoughts without feeling judged.

You don’t have to talk about it with everyone. I always thought that if I said I’m doing well and it wasn’t true that I wasn’t 100% real or honest. I got some comments on my blog post a few months ago that it’s okay to not tell everyone everything. I’m always so used to be open. I’m an open book. It’s just important to be able to talk about heavy and uncomfortable stuff with people you trust. Be careful who you let in your life. I hope to not make again mistakes as in way of telling people personal things so that they can hurt me with it. Find friends who love and support you unconditionally. If you feel like you haven’t someone you can trust, remember I’ll always be there for you all 🙏❤.

Here’s a list of things I do which makes me feel good. It really helps me with living with an anxiety disorder. Maybe, there are things on this list which will help you too.

  • Surfing 🏄🌊🌞: I really feel sad that I still didn’t surf since two years. I can’t wait to surf again. The feeling of standing on your surfboard and hearing the waves creates a sense of freedom. I’m forever a beach girl and the ocean is my home.
  • Reading 📚: Lately, I’m into reading again. I used to read so many books in my childhood. It makes me so happy to read great novels and also self helps books which help me cope with living with anxiety.
  • Writing/blogging ✒💭: I love to write in my journal or use a scrapbook for all my memories, thoughts and feelings. I also love to write poems. Blogging also always makes me feel better. I’m so happy to have this amazing blog and community where I can write and let everything go. Writing for me is such an important tool to just let all my thoughts go.
  • Singing/Listening to music 🎤🎶: I used to sing in a choir for 11 years. I really miss that time. Hopefully, I will sing in the future again in a choir or something. Singing also always release my emotions and make me feel so happy. I love to record covers and share them. Listening to music also always make me feel so peaceful. It feels great to listen to songs with a lyrics that you feel like it’s written for you. Music is life and will always be there for you in good and bad times.
  • Taking medication 💊: It can be antidepressants, anti anxiety medication or other medication. Just anything that makes you feel better. Medication saves lives and are important when you need them.
  • Being surrounded by my family and friends who support me 💕: It feels great to talk about your struggles with people you can trust too and who will be there for you. Find your tribe/community. Try to share your inner feelings and thoughts.
  • Enjoying nature 🌳🌹🌻🍂🍃: Going for a walk or just being outside in nature can do so many good things for your physical and mental health. Fresh air is all you need to just stay present.
  • Photography 📷: I would like to pick up this hobby again because I love to take pictures. I once used a lomography camera and I’ve made some really mysterious and beautiful pictures. Maybe, one day I will share them on my blog.
  • Being creative 🎨: I love to create a mess of art. I love wreck this journal, paint something abstract or just decorate my room. It feels good to let everything out of your mind and create something with the mess in my mind.
  • Travelling 🌍✈: I love to discover new beautiful places on this big world. Whenever I travel I can distance myself from all the worries I have. Then I feel like my worries aren’t that big compared to the whole universe. Travelling gives me another perspective of life.
  • Swimming 🏊: Swimming is soooo good for your health in general. It makes me feel more peaceful and happier. It’s also good for my back pain and muscles. I need to swim again because it also makes me sleep better and is so good to have less anxiety in life. Swimming is just so relaxing.
  • Yoga 🙇: I tried some yoga classes a few times in my life and I loved it. It made me feel more relax. Yoga create a sense of calm. Yoga is really good for your health too. I have to go to do some classes again.
  • Yoga girl postcasts 🙏: Rachel Brathen is a famous Swedish international yoga teacher. I will soon share a blog post about her because she is just the best. She’s my biggest inspiration in life. I can’t wait to go on one of her yoga retreats in Aruba in her yoga studio Island Yoga. Her postcasts are out every Friday on Spotify or Itunes. She also has a Youtube Channel. I love her postcasts so much. They are full wisdom and inspiration. They are about parenthood, trauma, self-love, mental health, anxiety, yoga, body positivity, rape, family, grief, achieving your dreams, and so much more. You can also now join her Yoga Girl community on Facebook.
  • Eating and sleeping well 🍴😴: Eating the right food is so important to feel good in your body and good for your mind. Also sleeping enough and sleeping well is really important for your wellbeing. If I don’t sleep enough I feel even more anxious the next day and I can’t concentrate well.

There are so many other things too which you can do to feel good. You just have to find what’s best for you. You know yourself as the best. Remember, to always be kind to yourself. You are loved and not alone. You have so many gifts to offer to this world. Together we are going to end this mental health stigma 💪💕💊. Every day is world mental health day not just today.

Mental health is as important as physical health. There are still so many people from all different ages and nationalities suffering. They all need help and we need to end the stigma around this issue. We aren’t crazy in our minds. We are sick. We all need help, support and compassion. To raise awareness about world mental health day you can donate money to a mental health organization, you can draw a circle on your hand with the hastag #iamwhole or wear something yellow with the hastag #helloyellow and post it on social media.

I hope that you all liked this blog post. I hope it made you feel that you belong in this world. I’ll always be there for you all. Keep going my fighters and warriors 💪 We are all in this together. Do you also have a mental illness? What do you do to feel better? Can you relate to my words? I would love to know your thoughts in the comment section.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

10 self care tips 💞🌠

Hey lovely bloggers 😍,

It’s been a long time since I wrote something related to self love/self care/mental health on my blog so I thought it’s about time now. Self care is so important in today’s world where everybody is always in rush and never take time to just be in the moment and to just take care about themselves. In this blog post I will share my 10 self care tips for you all. Of course, they are personal based on what I find useful. I hope you can find them useful too and can apply them in your life. These 10 tips are not in any rank ordered. They are all equally important. Some may will be pretty obvious but sometimes we forget about those little tips which would make us feel well. Feel free to comment your awesome self care tips aswell.

flower

1. Sleep enough hours at night

I think this is really an important one. I hate mornings so much and I can’t seem to enjoy them. It’s even more difficult for me when I didn’t had enough hours of sleep. I would feel miserable, my concentration decrease and my anxiety would increase because of the lack of sleep. Sleeping is so important for our well-being and just in general for our physical and mental health. If you slept enough hours and slept well, you will feel happy and full of energy the morning you wake up. Some people may think that if they catch up on sleep another day it will be all okay again. Catching up on sleep isn’t good enough. Adults have to sleep at least 8 hours at night and of course it depends on the person. I usually need 8 hours or even 9 to feel good.

2. Eat healthy

Eating the right food is really important for our health. I like to eat pizza a lot or other fastfood such as Mc Donalds or Burger King but sometimes when I ate that I feel bad afterwards. Fastfood isn’t good for our health and we sometimes crave it when we feel stressed or sad. If you eat once in a while it will not do any harm. With eating healthy I mean to eat many vegetables which are really so important for us. Fish and meat is good for our health too if you eat the right portions. I also read once that nuts are really good for our mental health. Of course, let’s not forget about fruits which are full of vitamins and so good for our health. Your body & soul will thank you after you have eaten healthy food.

3. Take a shower/bath

Sometimes I don’t feel like to take a shower in winter because of the cold. Of course, I do it but it will cost me more energy and effort haha. When I turn the van on I will feel warmer inside my bathroom. Taking a shower or taking a bath is so good for ourselves. It’s the perfect way to take care of ourselves. In The Netherlands I have a bath and I used to use some Lush products such as some bath bombs. I love it so much. Here in Spain, I have a shower without a bath but I also enjoy it. Whenever I’m in the shower I hear the water, I feel the warm water on my skin and just feel in the moment so peaceful. It’s just such a great form of relaxation. After taken the shower, I feel completely rested and fresh & fruity.

4. Hang out with your tribe

For me, this point is also a really important one. Hang out with your family or with your friends who understand you and respect you. It’s so important to find the right people. The right people will always be there for you, in the good and in the bad. I find it really helpful to have friends who also share the shame passions with me such as surfing, travelling and singing. I have had a lot of fake friends who bullied me in my life and totally didn’t respect me. I’m glad they aren’t in my life anymore. I encourage all of you to find people who will help you to grow as a person and live beautiful moments with them. You deserve people who will love for you who you are.

tumblr_otok4tP02c1tfjxdjo1_1280

5. Spend time in nature

When I have bad days, I feel like not going out and I just want to stay at home. I know this will not increase my mood and I will not be happy of it. Sometimes, the best thing to do on such days is to go outside and spend time in nature. I live near to a park and sometimes I take a walk and just spent time observing the beautiful nature while sitting on a bench alone or with my mother or with a friend. Spending time in nature will help you to feel good about yourself. It definitely increase our mood. It’s just so important to be in the moment and enjoy the beautiful nature which this beautiful earth has to offer us.

6. Read a book

I really want to read more books. I love reading and I’m sad I don’t do it as often as I want. Reading a book is really good for us. Whenever, I read a good book I forget the whole world arround me and I just am in the moment reading that book. It feels like I’m in another world. We also learn a lot about life while reading. I love reading novels but I also love to read some mental health/self love/self care books which useful tips to apply in my life. I will soon write a book review about some of them.

The-more-that-you-read-the-more-things-you-will-know-Dr.-Seuss-book-quote-540x671

7. Exercise

I don’t mean exercise in a way that you go jogging till you are totally out of energy. I know there are many people who exercise and feel worse after it. People suffering from anorexia for example exercise because they want to be skinny and be happier about themselves. The sad thing is that they are never going to achieve that goal. I think exercise is really good when you do it because it makes you happy. You can go for a walk or do yoga or go swimming. Yoga is really good for your physical and mental health aswell as swimming. I really like those sports because it increase my mood. It’s also really good for when I have back pain and shoulder pain. I also like to surf. All these forms of exercise make me feel good about ourselves and that’s the most important thing. I don’t do it to loose weight or anything but just to feel happy and increase my health.

8. Write

Writing is such an important form of healing. It definitely helps you to grow and inspire you. You can write in your journal or diary. I used to have a diary but now I prefer to have a journal and write poems or other things. I also to have a scrapbook and have all my memories of travels and moments with family & friends there. Writing can do so much good. I also love that I began this blog in August. After I wrote all my feelings and emotions down I feel really released and can let all the things which are bothering me go. Just write anything you want. Writing can be very therapeutic. It doesn’t matter if it’s all a mess which you are writing. That mess of writing can be very beautiful because all your thoughts and feelings are valid. Let it all out and let it all go.

9. Listen to music

Music is the best thing in life. Life without music would be a hell. Music will always be there for you, in good and bad times. I have found so many songs when I didn’t had the words to explain what I was feeling. Music always has the rights words when you need them the most. Listening to uplifting music can increase your mood so much. Music make us so happy. That’s why I love going to concerts so much too. Just being in the moment and listening to your favourite band/singer makes me so happy. It’s that feeling of being one with the world. Only good vibes! 💞 On some days I prefer sad music that fits my mood, on other days I prefer music to dance and just be happy and on some days I love to sing karaoke. Singing is one of my biggest passions. Soon I will share some songs which I recorded. I sang in a choir for 11 years in The Netherlands. I told that once in other blog posts.

2dc0a5cbaaf7eb26258773499bb2a039

10. Try to think positive thoughts

It’s difficult to think positive thoughts when you feel sad or bad about yourself. I’m a bit better in thinking positive thoughts than I was years before. Whenever, I have a bad thought I would think that that thought is true and most of the time it isn’t true. For example, if I think that I’m not worth it I will think that that thought is true. It isn’t true because I have so many good qualities and I’m capable of achieving all my dreams. Those are just negative thoughts but they have such a bad influence on our self esteem. Try to think positive thoughts and your perspective on life will change. Life will be sunnier when you think positive thoughts and try not to think the worst in many situations. I admit that I’m really good in thinking the worst all the time and that at the end it wasn’t worth to think those thoughts because my worst case scenario didn’t came true. Be happy and the rest will follow 😄💙

download

I hope you all liked this list of mine 10 self care tips and can apply them in your life. Let me know of some other suggestions which you do to apply self care in your life. Let’s take time to take care of ourselves and love each other much ❤

Much love,

xoxo Christina

10 mental health resolutions for this new year

Hey lovely bloggers <3,

Today I wanna share my 10 mental health resolutions for the new year. I think it’s really important to focus on our mental health because body and mind works together. If you have a mental illness like I have been diagnosed with anxiety, it’s really important to have some resolutions to feel better. Our brain is an organ too and many times people forget this. Our brain can misfunction too like any other organ in our body. We have to beat the stigma of mental health illnesses. They are real and nobody should feel ashamed of this. 1 out of 5 people have a mental health illness which is a lot. We shouldn’t feel alone in this. We are all in this together ❤

Screenshot-2018-1-15 Self love is the key in life 💕 ( christinax1993) • Instagram-foto's en -video's1. Read more awesome books

I love reading but I have to admit that I don’t do it a lot. I have bought some new awesome books online. I’m gonna share them with you all when I have finished them. I also wanna do more book reviews on my blog. Reading is so good. It definitely helps me a lot with my anxiety. I have a lot of self help books and it’s makes me realize that I don’t have to feel alone with suffering from anxiety. There are so many people who suffer from this along their lives. I also love to read about tips and apply them in my real life. Reading is really an important form of healing. Reading makes you wiser and makes you dive into a fantasy world which takes away the pain and suffering from the real world. I love to read and always forget the world around me, such an amazing feeling.

beb7d6f9b3a6eecc2c784e0936b42a15--chalkboard-printable-chalkboard-quotes

2. Keep writing poems and on my blog

I love writing so much. It’s such a great way of healing too. I always feel such a great satisfaction when I write all my thoughts and feelings down. It feels like I’m letting something of myself go which makes me feel lighter and happier. In this new year, I want to keep writing poems and share them with you. I also wish to continue writing on my blog. I love writing on my blog and it definitely is helping me so much with my anxiety. I came in contact with awesome people who experience the same and feel less alone. Thank you all so much for your lovely support. I’m so blessed to have you all in my life. I will forever cherish the great friendships I have made here ❤

6993bfd18e1b117cd4f81ae62b36859f

3. Go to yoga lessons

I love doing yoga at home with Youtube videos but I also really want to go to real yoga lessons in Valladolid, Spain, where I’m living right now. I love Yoga Girl. She is a swedish yoga teacher who is living together with her hushband Dennis and her little girl Lea Luna in Aruba. I will share a blog post about her soon because she is such a big inspiration in my life. She also has her own yoga studio in Aruba called Island Yoga. I would love to go to meet her and go on a yoga retreat in Aruba! That would be so awesome. She does yoga on her retreat week but also sharing and journalling. That’s just so good for healing and for my mental health.

Her real name is Rachel Brathen. She also has her own postcast on Itunes or Spotify every friday where she talks about anything in life, could be about anxiety, self love, marriage, work life, following your dreams, being bullied, death…… just everything in life, the good and the bad. I love how authentic she is. Yoga is really such an amazing way to have less anxiety in life and has so many benefits for your mental health. I did some classes in The Netherlands and afterwards I felt more relaxed and happier. Yoga is the best way to discover your inner self, be in the moment and let everything go. I really wanna search for a good studio here in Valladolid and have some awesome yoga lessons.

26172549_1559076720834563_4515973090460677292_o.jpg

                                   Lea Luna, Yoga Girl (Rachel Brathen) and Dennis

4. Care less about what people think of me

I still find this such a difficult one because I think it has to deal with being bullied during childhood and high school. I still care about what people think of me. If somebody laugh, I instantly think that they laugh about me when it isn’t even the case. I think to not care at all is not a realistic resolution because at the end I will still care a bit. I have to focus on my life and care less about what other people may think about me. If I care less, I become happier and less anxious. It would be such a great benefit for my mental health. I just have to let opinions of other people go and do the things which make me happy. I’m doing better than before but I still have to work a lot on this point in this new year.

5. Keep travelling

I just love travelling soooo much. Sometimes travelling can cause anxiety but when you plan your travels a long way before, it’s not a big deal. I have to admit that flying always cause me anxiety and that I have to take some meds before I go on an airplane. I love the view from the window, but I just hate turbulence. It makes me so anxious. However, I love travelling and it definitely is good for my mental health. In this new year, I will keep continue to travel around Europe and in Spain. I also would love to travel around the world but first I have to have more money. I also would love to do an interrail which means going by train and discovering many new countries in Europe with my friends. Maybe, I’m going to do that in the summer.  When I travel to a new place and discover new things, I let go all of the bad things in life. It helps me to distant myself from problems. I also love to be in contact with new cultures and making friends all over the world. I just love to learn about all the diferences and also know that at the end we are all the same: human and one with the world ❤ I learn so much about life from travelling so I will continue travelling as much, as far and as long as I can ❤

6. Stop comparing myself and my life with other people

This is such a bad habit that I have. When we scroll down on social media, we see all beautiful pictures of people who seem to have their life together. Everything looks perfect but trust me it ain’t the truth. Life has ups and downs. I like to show the truth about my life on my social media, especially on Instagram and on this blog. It is important to show the good and the bad in life. I often compare myself with others. I always feel the pressure of society like I already should have get married, and have babies and have a job and have my life together and blablabla. It makes me feel so overwhelmed. This new year I wanna learn that it’s okay to not have life together and to make little steps forward. I just graduated and I feel the pressure of having that dream job when I don’t even know what that means. I think this year I have to focus on myself and do things I love. I can have part time jobs and be happy. All things take time. I think if we spend less time in comparing our lives to other lives, we will end up happier and relaxer. Just focus on yourself and try to do things you enjoy. Everything in your life will come exactly at the right time, no rush.

7. Spend more time enjoying nature and less time on social media

I have to admit that I spend way too much time on social media. Of course, I run this blog and wanna spend time doing this. However, I should try to detox from social media once in a while. It’s really good to spend more time in nature. I love to walk around the park near to my house and breathing the fresh air. Sometimes I get really overwhelmed from all the social media. Sometimes it makes me anxious because I feel like I don’t have my life together and others have. It ain’t not true because most people only share their perfect pictures of their lives. Like I said in the point before, we compare our lives way too much on social media. If we spend less time on social media, we will feel more in contact with the world and more at peace with ourselves. Spending time with friends in real life is really important to not feel lonely and be social. I love to go for a walk with my friends, eat some delicious food “tapas” in Spain and have fun together.

8. Focus more on my creative passions like writing, singing and photography

Some of my passions are writing like I said before. I love to write in my journal, write poems and write on my blog. Writing is such a beautiful way of healing. I also love to sing so much. I used to sing in choir for 11 years. I really miss singing in a choir. Maybe, I’m gonna search for a new choir here in Spain or have some classes again. I enjoy singing so much. It makes me feel so relaxed and happy. Singing is a great way of letting all your feelings and thoughts go. I will show some videos of me singing in another blog post.

Furthermore, I also love photography. One of my brothers, Edward with his wife Elke have their own company of wedding photography. I learned a lot from them and I also learned a lot of photography taking a course during my studies. I have a lot of different cameras such as a Nikon, normal camera, polaroid Instax Mini 8 and a lomography camera Diana F+. I wanna continue to take all kinds of pictures again and share them with you. I hope you will all like them. Photography is a creative hobby and such a nice way to be active. I love to be creative and it’s really good for my anxiety. All these passions help me healing and make me happy. I once read that people who have anxiety or depression, tend to be more creative than other people. I think this is really true because I met many people with a mental illness and they all are so incredible talented and creative. Being creative is really a blessing in life. Earth without art is just “eh”.

earth-art-slider.jpg

9. Go to the beach and surf more

When I lived in the Netherlands I was just 15 minutes away by car from the beach. The bad thing is that it rains a lot in The Netherlands and you can’t spend that many days on the beach as in Spain. Right now, I’m living in Valladolid which is one hour from Madrid. The nearest beach is Santander which is a city in the north coast of Spain. It’s three hours away by train. I went to Santander twice last year and enjoyed some really great beach days. I love to swim in the ocean, feel the ocean breeze and hear the waves crashing down the shore. I like the salt ocean so much. It’s so good for your mental health. The ocean makes me feel so relax, peaceful and happy. This year, I wanna spend even more days on the beach. Last year, I went twice to the beach of Santander called “El Sardinero” and once to the beach of Granada, which is in the south of Spain, in Andalucia. I went to “La Rabita”. The beach is just my favourite place on this earth.

Salt_Water_t670.jpg

I also like to surf. Í have my own Rip Curl blue wetsuit. I hope I still can wear it because it has been two years since the last time I surfed. I really missed it. I’m a beginner and still have to learn how to catch waves. I can stand on a surf board and can enjoy it, which is the most important thing about surfing. I also made my thesis about the surfing lifestyle. Surfing is just a way of living and it so good for my anxiety. Surfing the waves makes me forget my anxiety, enjoy life and live in the moment ❤ It’s a total zen moment. I have surfed many times in The Netherlands and in Spain. I went twice to a surf camp in Spain near to Santander in Suances called Bio Surf Camp and Art Surf Camp in Galicia, Razo. In Razo, I surfed in the Atlantic Ocean and omg the waves were so high that I got scared and didn’t want to push myself too far and deep in the water. It’s all about practice and learning to let this fear go aswhile as in life. I wish to surf again this year and go on a surf camp because that’s the best way to learn surfing. Besides, I have made some incredible friends in these camps and had so many amazing adventures which I will never ever forget.

12366033_10203922913672965_8289615062733762404_o.jpg

                      Me at the Art Surf Camp in Galicia, Razo in the Summer of  2015

10. Having a better sleep routine

Since, I’m graduated and don’t study anymore my sleep routine is really messed up. I go really late to bed and wake up too late. I know it’s my fault and I have to change it. In the meantime that I’m searching for a (part-time) job, I have to focus on myself and trying to have a better sleep routine. I shouldn’t go too late to bed and wake up at a reasonable time. Having a sleep routine is just so important to feel good and not stressed out. It’s really important for our mental health. Everything begins with those habits. Sleeping is really important. We have to sleep 8 hours at least every night. If I don’t sleep 8 hours at night I’m already feeling so tired and feel even more anxious in life. Sleeping is as important as eating the right food and caring for ourselves. I know I can have a better sleep routine. I just have to get started and then it will work out.

I hope you all liked my 10 mental health resolutions for this new year, 2018. Have an amazing year you all! ❤ I wish you all a new year full of love, happiness and health. Let’s focus this year on ourselves. Love yourself and each other because that’s what this world needs: more love, no hate ❤

26165544_10208664785016785_47885011441304563_n.jpg
Love you all so much ❤

Much love,
xoxo Christina

 

Sometimes I really miss my childhood 😢💕👸🌈🌠

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

I wanna talk in this blog post about how I miss my childhood sometimes. I think many bloggers can relate to this aswell, if of course you had a good childhood. Not everybody has that privilige especially kids in underdeveloped countries which I find so sad 😢. I remember one time that I made a box with toys and gave it to a church and they send it to those kids. They were so happy. They even wrote a card back to me. That just made my day! 💕

This is little me, don’t know how old, maybe 5/6. I was dressing up as a beautiful princess haha 👑👸 I always liked to play that. I would still do that for a theme party. It’s just so fun. I really like to dress up. I can’t wait to celebrate Halloween this Saturday with my friends here in Spain and dress up like a witch like I do ever year 😂.

Sometimes I really do miss being this little. If I think of it I cry a bit. This was the time that I could be myself without a damn care in the world. This was the time that I could wake up at Christmas day and just be sooooo full of excitment. You know that feeling?! That’s just so beautiful. I still love Christmas so much but while having anxiety I find it sometimes stressing to be surrounded by all my family and get asked questions about what I’m doing with my life, career and all that stuff. I just don’t know what to say then. Back then nobody asked those questions. Life was just so simple. I really miss that. I could be happy with little things. As you grow older into an adult it all has to be big things such having a great job, a great partner and so on. Life is made about all those little things. 

This picture was made during Sinterklaas. I always made these crazy moves with my hand haha 😂 This is a feast which we celebrate on the 5th of December. He brings presents to the kids. It’s so lovely that we all believed in this. We all believed in Sinterklaas, Santa Claus and The three kings when it wasn’t true. I was really shocked when I knew my parents were the ones who gave me presents. It was that time that I started not to believe the things people were telling me. I felt like everything was a lie. I was 8 years old. It’s just so magical to believe in all of this as a little child. 

That time I turned five years old. I love that the table is covered with images of beer hahaha xD. 

Everything was fun when I was little. I didn’t had periods pain. I played a lot and met great friends in primary school. I was really happy this time. It was at high school that I got bullied and things just changed. It was then that I knew the world wasn’t so colourful as I imagined. It was dark sometimes and sometimes really dark. I got a boyfriend when I was 17 and then at 19 he broke up with me and my whole life felt apart. I’m going to write about that love story in another blog post. It all felt apart in just in one second.

I miss this time where I could be innocent. I miss this time because I felt safe and loved in this wold. I didn’t knew anything yet about the dangers of the world. I just felt so happy and free like everything is fun and could smile and laugh the whole day. I miss this time because my heart was full of love and not broken. I miss this time because I wasn’t afraid of anything. I didn’t know the concept of fear in life. I was climbing on the trees and I didn’t think of falling out of the tree. That thought just didn’t came into my mind. If I would do that now, I would think of being careful and only do it if it will be 100% safe to do because I don’t wanna get hurt. When you are a child you just don’t think of all that stuff. 

What I really do miss is not being able to just not think about one second and not to worry all the time. Now I’m 24, and I worry so much. I guess I believed in too many fairytales. We all have so much to do in life and have to rush to do all those stuff. Adults seem to not be able to enjoy the present moment anymore and just sit still and do yoga and meditate. Those are such great tools to get that present moment and peaceful feeling back.

This picture was made during a holiday in Spain. I love the swing and still play on that sometimes. I just such a carefree feeling. 

This picture was also made in Spain in the Basque country. I was supporting these people hahaha 😂

I have grown up with scars in my heart with being bullied in high school, having my heart broken and my father who almost died when I was 11 years old. This all caused me so much anxiety and sadness in life. After all, I’m thankful that this happened to me. It was all so hard but it shaped me. After my first love left me I couldn’t be happy and now after almost 5 years I’m able to be happy again. I now I won’t be this little innocent girl anymore but I have learnt from this all.

I learnt that life isn’t a fairytale but that it’s still so beautiful. We can make it beautiful. Its important to have deep and meaningful relationships with your family and friends. I learnt that we can add colour into our lives. I learnt that your family will always love you no matter how old you are. Your family will always be there for you 💖

Those are my two older brothers. I love them till infinity and beyond. The middle: Rafael is 39 and the left one called Edward is 35. Edward is married and has a beautiful two years old daughter so yeahhh I’m already aunt! 💕💖😍 Rafael has a Spanish girlfriend now for two years. 

I learnt that its normal to get nostalgic and sometimes wanna go back in time but its the past. We have to let it all go and move on. The future will be bright, it really will be 🌠 I learnt that we still have that child in our hearts. It’s still there but we have to set it free and be creative. I know the dangers of the world and am more careful but I still believe in the good people. I may be a real princess one day, who knows haha. What I really know is that I will be a dreamer & hippie for life. My heart will always be full of love and light because I so believe that even though the world can be seem really dark, there’s always a light that is shining out there 💫

This is me also in Spain, Basque country in the garden of my lovely Spanish family 😍

Much love,

Christina xoxo 

Would you be friends with people who spoke to you the way you speak to yourself? 💭

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

I saw this picture on Tumblr. This is just so true. We spend so much time doubting, hating and making fun of ourselves. Instead, we should love ourselves more for what we are. I can relate to this so much. I find it hard too. I remember so many times that I have said to myself that I’m not good enough or other bad thoughts such as that I’m not looking good or that I’m not beautiful. I still find it hard to trust these thoughts. However, I learned to not trust “this voice” in my head all the time even though it’s really difficult sometimes.

If a friend would spoke to me the way I speak to myself sometimes, I really wouldn’t be their friend anymore. How can you be friends with someone who is constantly saying negative things about you?! You don’t wanna be around with such a negative person. Why do we find it so damn easy to say things like we aren’t worth it, we aren’t good enough, we aren’t pretty like her/him to ourselves? We would never ever say that to a friend. We know those are bad thoughts 💭.

I think the reason why we find it so easy to say those things to ourselves lies also in society and media. We always see those perfect famous people; with all their glamour and perfect bodies that we increase this mis conception of not feeling good about ourselves. We see those lives and we feel like we aren’t good enough. We scroll through social media and see all those perfect people and wanna be like them. It ain’t perfect. They have problems too but only the good parts are showed. That’s media. Trust me, being famous isn’t always a happy life if you look to the facts that many famous people can’t cope with their lives and take a lot of drugs, alcohol and even suicide…. I find that really sad. 

Society increase those feelings of not feeling good enough constantly. We are so much aware of it. We see those examples in magazines, on social media, on television, just everywhere. It really annoys me. We have to excercise a lot, look skinnier, gain much money, have a perfect job, have a perfect family, travel to the best places on earth, buy a bigger house… It’s always about having more and being better. I don’t like that about our competitive society. It’s never good enough. 

I love this poem which I found on Google. It shows us how society will always find something to tear us down and how we would never be good enough. We shouldn’t listen to that negative voice but focus on how to feel good about ourselves.

Instead we should focus on what we have and achieve inner peace. Inner peace will bring us to self love. If we are happy about ourselves, we also focus on making good choices for our lives. If we feel good in our skin, we will excersise and eat healthy but not to be skinnier. I hate those fitness and diet pages so much. It only increase that negative feeling about yourself. I’m a believer of making good choices for yourself just to feel about yourself. If you all the time try to be skinnier and skinnier, you will never feel happy. It will never be good enough. 

We can eat healthier and do things we love just to feel good about ourselves and increase our health but not to obtain a certain imaginary goal which can’t never be achieved.

Fuck whats society tells you. Don’t believe them. You are good enough. You are beautiful with all your curves. Be proud of yourself. If you have a bad thought coming into your head of not being good enough, you could think of the things what makes you YOU. You are unique and have so many good qualities. You can be romantic, sensitive, kind, social, compasionate… Those are all good qualities. I know you must have all of these too and so muh more 💫

Being beautiful for me means not something temporary like the looks of a person. No. Being beautiful for me means how a person thinks and feels. Being beautiful goes beyond someone’s looks. It’s all about their qualities and dreams in life. Take all the superficial things away and you have that beautiful person. Being beautiful lays down in your soul. Looks will fade away with the years, but that personality and soul will always stick with you for the rest of your life.

Let the world talk. Make good choices for yourself and always out of love. Love yourself for what you are. Stop doubting about yourself. Know you are worth it and achieve all the dreams that you have. 

Believe in yourself, because YOU are beautiful and good enough. Never ever doubt that 💜💋

Much love,

xoxo

10 reasons why I love blogging so damn much 💕

Hey lovely bloggers,

I’m gonna share 10 reasons why I love blogging so much 💜 I’m so happy I made WordPress almost three months ago. I never regret any second of it.

  1. Blogging brings me so much happiness to my life. Whenever I feel bad I can read some inspirational posts or quotes and feel happier again. 
  2. The blogging community is just the most awesome community ever. You are all so kind, lovely, beautiful, sensitive and so supportive. It just gives me goosebumps because it makes me remember that there are so many good people out there in this sometimes dark world.
  3. It inspires me so much. I learn so much of reading your blog posts. I can learn how to paint my nails for halloween, how to stay healthy, book reviews, travel tips, inspirational quotes, how to search for a job, how to handle my anxiety, improve self love and just soooo much more. I think blogging is such a good tool for inspiration.
  4. I love writing so much. Here I can write about anything. I love writing poems, my thoughts and feelings.
  5. It’s so good for my mental health. I have anxiety for like my whole life. Since I begin to share all my thoughts and feelings I feel less alone. I feel so supportive. There are more people on here who have a mental illness. I love the fact that not only the people who have a mental illness but also the ones who don’t have it understand me. I think that’s just so magical. In real life, there’s still a stigma around it and some people just don’t get it. Here it’s different 💜
  6. I feel safe here. Even though my blog is an open space I still feel safe and kinda privated. I just can write about anything and feel respected. I can wrote about how people have bullied me in high school, how I suffer from anxiety and how my first love broke up with me and it’s just all okay. Nobody will judge me and for that I’m so damn blessed. You are da best! 💕
  7. There are no rules how to blog. In life there are many rules on how you have to do this and this but with blogging there are just no rules. Everything you write is okay. It doesn’t matter about what you write. It doesn’t matter if you write about your bad day or how you are stressing about an exam. Everything is okay because those are your feelings, thoughts and experiences. It’s your blog and you decide about what you are going to blog. 
  8. There is not a specific time when you should blog. You can just blog whenever you want. It doesn’t matter if you blog in the early morning, afternoon or late at night. It’s all okay. Just do it whenever you want.
  9. You can blog anywhere you want. This is also an important reason why I love blogging so much. You can just do it anywhere, may it be in a cafe, at school or in your garden. You just have to have your laptop or mobile phone with you. Then you can start to write. 
  10. It’s free. While other hobbies cost something like going swimming or doing a yoga class, blogging is totally free. You can have a premium account on WordPress if you want. It’s up to you. I don’t have one. Blogging is free and you can even gain money out of it but I don’t know how that works 😂 Maybe one day I can make that happen… don’t know.

Are there any other reasons why you love blogging? Tell me, I would love to hear! 💜

I love you all so much 💕💕💕 I hope that you are all doing fine. In case you are not, I’m here for you. You are strong. You are all beautiful human beings. 

Much love to all of you,

Christina xoxo

Liebster award 2x <3

Hey lovely bloggers <3,

Liebster-award-thanks.png

I got nominated for the Liebster Award twice. I’m sorry it took a bit longer but I wanted to take my time to write a good blog post. The Liebster Award is an award to discover new, beginning blogs and is a great way to connect and support the blogging community. I feel so honoured that I was nominated for this award twice! 😀

The rules of this award are the following steps:

Step 1: write a 150-300 word post about your favourite blog that is not your own

My favourite blog on WordPress is without any doubt from the beautiful Chloe ❤ ❤ ❤ I met her on Instagram where she post beautiful pictures about self love and mental health. Her blog is all about her journey to self love while suffering from anxiety. She is also my mail friend like pen pal. I love to be friends with her and hopefully I will meet her one day.

On her blog and on Instagram she stays authentic and honest. I love that she shares the good and bad in life. Mostly, we can see a lot of fake people on social media but she is real. Her posts are about her struggles and how to find happiness while suffering from anxiety. Her posts and quotes really inspire me, make me happy and make me feel less alone. I encourage anybody following my blog, to follow her blog too because you won’t regret it!

Step 2: thank the blogger who nominated you

Thank you for nominating me for the Liebster Award, Cat and Anjana.  Your blogs are so awesome and inspire me so much. I love your blog posts about everything in life. Thank you so much for thinking of me. I encourage everybody to follow these two amazing blogs! ❤


Step 3: 10 facts about yourself (optional)

My blog is now almost three months old. I shared some personal stuff about me over the last three months, however I will share some facts about myself in case you don’t know them 😊.

  • I used to sing in a choir for 11 years in The Netherlands and travelled through Europe to sing with my choir in awesome places like in St. Peter’s Square, Rome for the Pope Benedict XVI.
  • I’m half Spanish/half Dutch; my father is Dutch, my mother is Spanish
  • I grew up between two cultures: Spanish and Dutch culture; I lived all my life in Haarlem, The Netherlands but am now living in Valladolid, Spain (The place where my mother was born).
  • I love writing poems and just all my thoughts and feelings.
  • I love surfing; I’m an beginner surfer, I went two two surf camps in Spain and surfed a lot in The Netherlands too. Even though I can’t catch like real waves I enjoy it haha and it makes me feel so free and happy (It’s already been more than one year that I didn’t surf, hopefully I will surf again soon).
  • I’m an highly sensitive person which means that I have a nervous system that is more sensitive than others and it process things more deeply. In other words, I feel more and love more. About 20% of the population has this personality trait. I can connect with the world in a way other people can’t. I cry and suffer more, but I also love deeply and have a deep appreciation of the beautiful world around me.
  • I think and dress like a hippie haha peace all the way! ❤
  • I used to do competitive swimming in The Netherlands, once I won the first price of estafette with my group. I really love swiming and would love to swim more because it’s really great to beat my anxiety.
  • I have anxiety for like my whole life. I blog about this a lot because it really helps to vulnerable and I get great support from all the people here. Since 8 months, I’m taking antidepressants like 20 mg each day and a benzo when I feel really anxious. This is really helping me a lot even though I’m now in a period of transition from college to real life which is really hard to cope with but I hope I will be okay soon.
  • I love travelling and travelled a lot through Europe. One of my biggest dream was going to New York City. Two years ago I won the Many Languages, One World Essay contest of 2015. I won a free trip to New York City in the summer of 2015. Our essays were related to the sustainable development goals. I wrote about the importance of gender equality between men and women. I wrote my essay in Spanish. I was in the Spanish team and we worked on our presentation for the United Nations together those days. We had to do a speech in the United Nations. Our project was called EMMA. This proyect was about how to end hunger, achieve food security and sustainablity. It was all so inspiring 😍. It made me think of all the things I wanna change in the world. This was definitely a once in a lifetime experience. I’m forever blessed to have experienced this and met everlasting friendships from people all over the world.

Step 4: Answer the questions your nominator has asked

First I will answer the questions of Cat 😊.

1) What’s your favorite book?

My favourite book is definitely “The fault in our stars”. It’s a love story between two teenagers who have cancer. It’s soooo damn beautiful and emotional. You all should read this book in case you didn’t read it. I also love the movie so much.

2) Tell your favorite quote and why? (mention from which book, in case it’s from a book, you took it).

I have so many favourite quotes but this is definitely one of my favourites from my favourite book: “The fault in our stars – John Green”. This quote is just so beautiful and so true because it shows what true love is and the hard truth of life.

“I’m in love with you,” he said quietly.

“Augustus,” I said.

“I am,” he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.”

3) When did you felt most satisfied with your life?

I felt the most satisfied and happiest in my life when I achieved one of my biggest dream which was going to New York City. Two years ago I won the Many Languages, One World Essay contest of 2015. I won a free trip to New York City in the summer of 2015 and spoke at the United Nations. I shared more details in the 10 facts about myself.

4) If you could choose live in any other place, where would it be ?

I would love to live in a place near to the ocean where it’s sunny every day like Hawaii, California, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Australia or Aruba. I would love to visit these places one day. I’m dying to go to Aruba and meet a famous yoga instructor called Yoga Girl and go on a yoga retreat and surf in the ocean of Aruba.

5) Are you capable of managing your social life with your blogging life?

Yes, of course! However, it’s kinda strange that sometimes I feel more connected to the blogging community than with people in my real life. I feel like I can share all my thoughts and feelings especially with having anxiety. I feel so much support here and it helps me so much.

6) Horror movies or Comedy movies? And why

Comedy movies of course, because I can’t watch horror movies. I’m a highly sensitive person and while having anxiety horror movies are just not my movies. It’s way too much for my senses. Comedy movies and romantic movies are the best 😊 ❤ They make me so happy!

7) If you had to spend the rest of your life with only one person, who would it be?

This is a difficult question because I really love all my good friends and family. I would spend it with my lovely mother because she is the one who always support and understand me. She is always there for me. I love her too infinity and beyond! ❤ She is the most important person in my life.

8) What is your favorite song? And why?

I love music so much that I really can’t choose one favourite song. One of my favourite songs is: Is this love from Bob Marley. I heard this song in a surf van when I was doing a surf camp in Spain. I just love those hippie vibes and it makes me feel so free and happy. Love and peace is the way in life! ❤

These are my answers of the questions of Anjana :).

1) Describe your personal sense of style?

My personal sense of style is hippie style. I love kinda hippie clothes and the boho style of fashion. My room is this style too haha. I wear flower headbands and a dream catcher as necklace. I also love to wear clothes with Aztec print. This all creates me the hippie feeling which means for me to have a free spirit, open heart and mind.

2) Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

I never like those kind of questions because it makes me feel insecure. I’m 24 right now so in 5 years I will be 29, that’s old hahah no. Sometimes, I’m afraid of the future and I just don’t know what I want do in my life. I never have like a plan. I hopefully see myself in 5 years being even more happy with myself, have faced more fears, being able to deal better with my anxiety, doing things that makes me happy and make a career out of it. Hopefully, I also have travelled to more amazing and beautiful places in the world and have made more memories and aventures with the people I love in life. I see myself livinig in Spain or somewhere else where it’s sunny and near to the ocean where I can surf.

3) Who is most important to you and why?

Definitely, my mother! ❤ She is the one that always support me in everything in life and is just always there for me. I love her so much. She is a strong and beautiful woman ❤ She is also the person who learned me Spanish and for that I’m forever blessed. Thanks to being able to speak Spanish, I won the essay contest of New York City and spoke at the United Nations.

4) What are 3 blog posts that everyone should have on their blog?

3 blog post that should be on every blog are one about ending the stigma of mental health illnesses, #me too campaign, and travels. Those are really important subjects for me and always keep me interested in reading them.

5) What is one thing you can’t live without?

That’s a difficult question…. Maybe some people would say their phone haha, but actually I can live without it. It’s not a real need. One thing I surely can’t live without is: WATER. I think many people take for granted all the things we have yet in so many countries in the world people still don’t have access to water which is one of the primary needs during the life of a human being!!! We drink water, we wash our clothes with water, we shower, we cook,…. we need water. It’s also the best thing to drink in the Summer because it doesn’t make me more thirsty like fanta or coca cola that contains so much sugar. I just love water even if it’s tasteless haha. It’s the best thing in the world! ❤ It’s so damn refreshing! 😍


Step 5: Nominate 5-11 bloggers with under 200 followers

It was a bit difficult find bloggers with less than 200 followers haha but I found some amazing bloggers :).

toomuchtooyoungblog.wordpress.com

prometheanreport.wordpress.com

moonlightsandmacaroons.wordpress.com

inspiringdude.wordpress.com

writtenbyroxy.wordpress.com

annepersonalblog.wordpress.com

thescintillation.com

lavenderhearts.blog

thehappinesshunt.wordpress.com


Step 6: Ask your nominee some questions

I’m excited to read your answers! 🙂

1) Do you believe in life after death and why?

2) What do you find most important in life?

3) What would you do with the money if you won the lottery?

4) What is your favourite season and why?

5) What do you want to change in this world and why?

I had soooo much fun writing this long blog post even though it cost me some time but here’s it is 😊. I hope you enjoy reading it.

Much love,

xoxo

 

 

#Me too – Men are responsible for their actions

Hey lovely bloggers 💞,

I’m gonna write a subject which I always have had on my mind. It’s just something that really hits me hard and I guess more women can understand this and feel the same way. I’m sorry I’m cursing sometimes but this subject just really make me angry.

​Me too.

If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote “Me too.” as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem. 

Women all over the world are tweeting or posting this on social media to make aware of this big problem. It is not just about one women, it’s all about millions of women who have been sexually harrased or assaulted in their lives.

I’m gonna share some of my experiences. I always felt ashamed of it. I felt like it was all my fault. I have had times where I was drunk and boys made use of this even when I didn’t want. People may say it’s all my fault. IT’S FUCKING NOT. This problem is a men issue too! Men are responsible for their fucking actions.

I have experienced so many times that I felt unsafe outside because men were shouting dirty things to me or catcalling me. I hate it so much. When I go out clubbing and am almost near to my house, I have the key of my house in my hand in case in case I see a scarry man to open my house door in just one second.  I think many women can relate to this feeling. Why do women have to feel unsafe all the time? We are used to grow up in a world where we are told since we are little that we have to be careful and that we as women have to feel unsafe all the fucking time. They don’t say that to boys. It’s just so unfair. We should raise boys and girls the same way.

We should educate girls and boys the same way. We should let boys know that they are responsible for their actions. It doesn’t matter if a girl is wearing a dress or not. This doesn’t determine their consent. We should educate boys to respect girls and when they say NO, it’s no. We should educate girls to speak up and learn to say no. 

I have had so many times where I walked alone at night after clubbing with my friends that boys said dirty things to me. This also occured to me during day time. This is something I never wanted to share because I felt so damn ashamed. Even my first love, you know my first boyfriend ever, that one person you love and trust…. well he was the one that many times crossed my boundaries and even said to me like: “If I don’t have sex with you before I’m 18, then I will go to the whores in Amsterdam”. Thinking of it now, he wasn’t that nice because if one person don’t respect your NO, that person isn’t good for you and just not worth it.

Also one time when I was going out with a friend in a city in the North of Spain (Santander) a boy said to me in the bar: “YOU LOOK LIKE I COULD FUCK YOU NOW” I showed him the middle finger and went outside and felt so fucking angry. Where is your fucking respect to a women?! I am forever a feminist and believe in equal rights between women and men. Both should be treated equally and with respect. 

Another story I’m going to share now is one which took place during gym in high school. This gym teacher was always saying dirty things to the girls like calling them honey and stuff. He also said one time to a girl: “Oh you must be on your period, right because you are angry?” Like, what the fuck are you saying. You have no right to say that. So, one time I brought some gym stuff back to a dark room. All my classmates were in the clothing room and were away. Then suddenly, he gave me like a hug or wanted to touch me… anyways something really strange and dirty. I said: “What the hell are you doing?”. He said: “It’s a rugby tackle”. I ran away crying to the dressing room.  Since then, I never felt safe again surrounded men. I hated gym so much becausd I always felt insecure and got bullied. Some popular girls saw me crying and asked me why and I never told them. I should have gone to the director of my high school and tell him. Now, it’s too late but now I’m 24 years old and say all things straight away. I was only 15 years old….. 

Women can wear dresses and lipstick and all stuff their want. Why does society always fucking blame the women when they get sexually harassed or assaulted and say stuff like: “Were you out at night?, “What were you wearing?”, “Did you drink?. It’s never the women’s fault. We should look at the action of the boys, they are fucking responsible for their actions.

I hope more women speak open about the things that happened to them so we can beat this problem 💜👏 You are not alone. You are here to open up and speak about it. You don’t have to feel ashamed. Men are responsible for their actions. We should also talk with the men to prevent all of this. 

I’m here for you all 💞 

Much love,

xoxo

All of my kindness is taken for weakness 

Hey lovely bloggers 💞,

​I think of this quote so much. It is from the song FourFiveSeconds from Rihanna and some other artists. This relates so much to my experiences in life and interaction with people. I always treat people with respect and am always kind. Unfortunately, all of my kindness is taken for weakness. Why do you think? 💭

Kindness in today’s world is so rare that whenever people come across with someone that is kind, they assume it to be weakness. It is so much easier to hate and be judgmental. I don’t see kindness as a weakness. I see it as a strength. Being kind in a sometimes dark world takes so much courage.

Unfortunately, the kind people are the ones who suffer the most. I have had so many times that people took advantage of me and bullied me because of my kindness. They know I will never become angry or hateful. I am an easy target. However, I tried to change. I wanna be mean sometimes but I just fucking can’t. It’s not in my personality to be mean at people.

I have learned that kindness is a strength. I have learned that I don’t have to change and become this angry person because that won’t bring me any good in my life. I have learned that I can stay myself. I just have to set boundaries for people and say no more often and don’t let people taking advantage of me. I have learned to stay away from negative and judgemental people.

Why should you change yourself to be accepted in this world? No, fucking no. Even though in my opinion there are a lot of bad people out there, there are still so many good and kind people out there too. You just have to find them. We need people who are kind to each other in this world. You never know what they are going through.

It’s just sooo important to be surrounded with people who support and care about you. Kindness is such a good thing. If there wouldn’t be any kind person on this planet, it would be a really dark world. Shout out to all those beautiful kind people who take the fucking courage to be kind even though they have been hurt! 👏

Don’t let the world make you hate or break your own heart. Never change. Stay kind and true to yourself 💜👌💫 You are beautiful just the way you are 💞

Much love to all of you 💕💕💕,

xoxo