How can we prevent bullying at schools?

Hey lovelies 💕,

Thank you all for the endless support on my last blog posts and also on my instagram Sea of words blog. I’m so thankful to have this mental health and blogging community. I recently also joined the yoga community of Yoga Girl. She’s a big inspiration in my life. I’m blown away by the fact that there are so many supportive and good people out there in the world. You just have to find the right ones ❤. Today’s blog post will be about how I got bullied through high school and which ways I think are important in order to prevent bullying at schools. I already shared my bullying story in January in this blog post: How being bullied in high school caused me anxiety. I would like to add some new things in this blog post.

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Trigger warning for this post ❗

October is not only the month of Halloween, Autumn, falling leaves and sweater weather. October is also the month of something really important. October is national bullying prevention/awareness month so I thought it would be important to write about this subject again. I’ve been bullied for so many years during high school and also some years before high school. Bullying is a real trauma. So many kids, teenagers and also adults suffer from this. It can happen anywhere like at schools, on the workplace etc. and everywhere on the world. The things I wrote on this picture below were some of the things the bullies said to me. I don’t want to make someone feel pity for me. I just want to let people know the truth about bullying and how much those words hurt.

Words can kill you like a knife. Words make you believe you are worthless. Words make you believe you aren’t good enough and that it would be better if you didn’t exist. Words can kill people. The bullies said a lot of other things to me than only the words you can see on the picture. The bullies also did a lot of more stuff such as pushing me in the halls of the high school, coming with groups to my locker and intimidate and laugh about me. I still find it hard to let all those things go.

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Words are so easy said. Forgetting the ugly words they’ve said to you is a lot harder. I’m still learning in letting them all go. I remember that in high school I liked the band Tokio Hotel and wore these big hippie purple jeans which you can see on the picture. I got them from the ex girlfriend of my brother. I wore those jeans to school. They were all laughing at me and were calling me a gothic. I wasn’t gothic. I just liked to wear those clothes. I also wore a lot of clothes with skeletons just because I liked it. I wouldn’t wear that right now because right now my fashion style has changed. I think it’s just important to be yourself and wear what you like and not what others may like. You will never be beautiful or enough for others. You have to feel good in your own skin.

There was also another time during my teenage years that I wore clothes and stuff from The Power Puff Girls. This was and still is my favourite show ever. I love that show so much. It holds so many great childhood memories. I still have lots of products as books, parfum and everything from them at home. Again the bullies were laughing about me and called me that I was way too childish for wearing a dress from The Power Puff Girls. I remember that I was so happy to wear that and the moment I got laughed about it I felt bad and I didn’t wear it again anymore. I felt ashamed which is just so sad 😢. I let them win that time…

I also have always been insecure about my nose. The bullies at high school were always calling me big nose. In that time there was a Dutch website which we used to be in contact with each other. I always saw the words big nose and knew that they were writing about me. It was just open and public. It really hurted me so much to see all those negative words written about me. I’ve never done anybody harm. Why are they bullying me? Is it just because I’m the easy target and because I’m a highly sensitive person? I was thinking maybe I really do have a big nose. Maybe, there’s really something wrong about me. Why would they call me otherwise big nose all the time? Now I know that my nose is fine and my body is perfect the way it’s.

The bullies also said one day that they wanted to kill me and my family. I still can remember the horrible chats on Messenger. Every day I thought that that would be my last day at school and that it was happening today. They never hit me. They were just threathing me all the time but it definitely made me develop my anxiety disorder. Nowadays, I’m still afraid of groups of people because of these bad memories.

Those were just horrible years which I would rather forget. I’m feeling more confident than years before. However, I’m still learning to love myself and embrace myself for who I’m. I never ever want to go back to that time. In another blog post I will write about all the negative effects bullying had on me. I was already writing that blog post some time ago. Now, I would like to write about some ways in which I think we can prevent bullying.

Bullying prevention system at schools

I think it’s crucial to have a good bullying prevention system at schools. My school didn’t do enough when I was suffering from bullying. They talked with me and the bullies but afterwards they bullied me again and again. I think it’s important to handle these situations better. The teachers and the principal of the schools have to know that bullying is really serious. They have to watch for signs when they see it happening in their class rooms and take action. They need a strong policy about it.

Classes about bullying

I think it’s really important to have classes at schools where they talk about what’s bullying and how they can prevent that together with the teachers and kids. Everyone have to know the differences between teasing and really bullying someone. When they know the differences and also the consequences of bullying they hopefully will bully less. The consequences of bullying can be really dangerous as in people commiting suicide. I once read that there’s a high rate of kids commiting suicide because of bullying. We need to teach kids to be more kind to each other and to have respect to each other.

Stand up for someone who is getting bullied

I think this point is also so important. When we see someone is getting bullied, stand up and speak up for that person. I know I was afraid to stand up for myself but the moment my best friend helped me and stood up for me, was the moment I felt supported and stronger. It’s just so important to be there for that person. It can help to stop the bullies.

Get professional help when you need it

Kids, teenagers and anyone who’s being bullied have to know that there’s a a great support system and professional help available when they need it. Bullying have so many negative effects as developing many mental health illnesses as depression, anxiety and even lead to suicide. The earlier we analyse this, the better we can prevent the negative effects of bullying. Therapy, medication and whatever you need is availlable for you. I hope everyone can get the help they need because you deserve that 🙏💕.

Campaigns about raising awareness of stop bullying now

Campaigns and organisations which raise awareness of bullying are so important. During the time I was at high school there wasn’t that much awareness of this. Nowadays, there is social media and there’s just much more information about it. I really hope that this will prevent bullying now and in the future more and more.

Encourage kids to speak to an adult when they are getting bullied

I know many of us feel ashamed to tell our story. There’s nothing to be ashamed about because being bullied isn’t our fault. Sometimes people bully because they are jealous of somebody or just because they feel bad themselves. It’s important that kids are speaking up about getting bullied to a trusted adult to prevent bullying getting worse. That trusted adult can be your teacher or your parent. It can help the child to ask for help and provide them support and comfort. We all want someone that will listen to our stories without feeling judged. We just want someone that will be there for us in this difficult time.

Of course, there will be many other ways to prevent bullying but I just thought about these 6 important points. I will never stop sharing my story about bullying. I think it’s just so important to raise awareness about bullying. I hope that these points will hopefully prevent bullying. I hope to be able to help others with speaking up about my story of being bullied.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. Do you think these tips in preventing bullying at schools will help? Do you have some other ways in which we can prevent bullying? Do you also got bullied? I would love to hear your thoughts and stories. Rembemer, you are not alone. You are beautiful. You are enough. Let’s be kind to each other. We are all in this together 💪

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Much love 🌹,

xoxo Christina

10 tips on how to face your fears & overcoming my dentist fear

Hey lovelies 💕,

I’m back from my trip to Somo, Santander last Tuesday. I just went three days. I will soon share a blog post about this trip and a photo diary. Today I want to share something I really need to write about which is about how to face your fears. It’s just going to be some personal tips. Maybe they will not all be helpful for everyone. Feel free to add a tip in the comment section. I’m also sharing how I’m going to overcome my dentist fear. Facing a fear is a topic which I struggle a lot with because of suffering from anxiety. I know everyone gets nervous or can be scared of something. People suffering from a mental illness can experience it so bad that they feel physical and emotional symptoms. I always feel extremely anxious when I do something I’m afraid of.

When I get high anxiety, I can feel very emotional, cry a lot, feel like I’m dying, feeling nauseous, dizzy, hiperventilation and feel a racing heart beat and so many more symptoms. It’s really the worst. I know we all get scared but when you suffering from an anxiety disorder a fear can become a real obstacle in life. Maybe, you all know about the fight, freeze or flight response. When you are in a situation you fear you can either fight and go for it and overcome it. You can also do nothing and just freeze. You can also flight which is the one I always do. I’m way too good at escaping everything I fear in life. I will cover myself in blankets in bed and will think what a peaceful and lovely world. The world is full of danger but in my world and my bed I’m safe and sound. I know it isn’t a great way.

It’s so important to overcome our fears. When we overcome our fears we grow as a person. I have let fears consume my life and because I run away from them they only became bigger which is worse for my anxiety. It becomes a much more struggle when we run away from everything we fear then when we face it. I know it’s easier said than done. I still have to practice and learn a lot. Now, I’m going to share 10 tips on how I think you can overcome a fear.

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1. Journal about your fear

It doesn’t matter which fear you have. Are you scared of snakes, flying, public speaking, hospitals or anything else? I find it great to write about my fear like I do on my blog or in my journal. Whenever you write about your fear it feels like you can let it a bit go. Write down why you are afraid and some experiences in the past with this fear. Analysing a fear is important as you can come to a conclusion why you have this fear. For example, I fear public speaking not because I don’t like to talk to people. I fear public speaking because I don’t like to be in the middle of attention and I don’t like it because I’m afraid to make a fool out of myself. I’m afraid to fail and embarrass myself in front of all people.

2. Take little steps to overcome your fear

If you fear something it’s important to face a fear with baby steps. If you are afraid of travelling on your own then I think it’s not a good idea to go and travel the whole world on your own at once. You can for example take little trips in your country and then for example in your continent and then when you are ready you will be able to overcome your fear and can travel the world. Taking little steps will give you the courage to overcome your fear. It helps me a lot to not feel overwhelmed about a big fear.

3. Feel your feelings and accept them

If you feel anxious or scared feel it and admit that you are anxious. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You have the right to feel this way. If you are hiding and bottlling up your emotions, one day you will break down because it will be too much for you. Accept that you are afraid to do something. Even when you feel like a fear can consume you, you have to know that you have the power and control over it. You can control your fears.

4. Believe in yourself

It’s important when you are going to overcome a fear to believe in yourself. If you are constantly saying negative things about yourself you will only feel worse. Say to yourself I can do this. I can overcome this fear even though I’m anxious. I’m a warrior 💪🍀 How many times did I think I couldn’t do something and at the end I could do it because I felt strong enough to face my fears. We all have that strength in us.

5. Think of all the positive things you’ve achieved in your life

To think back of all your victories in life is a great way to feel positive about facing your fear. You have done something scary before and you could do it. The feeling of achieving something you felt scared of is just so great. It’s a great emotion and can make you feel stronger to constantly facing a fear in life whether it’s a big or a little fear.

6. Get help and support from your friends and family

I love to know that I’ve a lovely family and some good friends who will always be there for me. It can really help to have a great tribe of people who encourage you when you have to face a fear. Their support and encouragment can make a huge difference. I remember how scared I was to do my speech at the United Nations in NYC a few years ago. My family and good friends encouraged me and said that I could do it. I started to feel positive. Whenever I don’t believe in myself they will always believe in me. We are our worst enemies right. We have to be our inner best friends and tell us that we can do it.

7. Take action

I know so many times that I think of something I fear and I just don’t take action and only think about the fear. This will not solve anything at all. I remember so many times that I was for example afraid of doing an exam because I was afraid to fail. I ended up not doing the exam. Then, I learned for the exam and I made the exam and I passed. Taking action on facing a fear is so important. You can’t let the fear rule your life. Action builds courage and strength.

8. Know the difference between a rational and irrational fear

A great way to face a fear is analysing a fear and asking yourself questions. A rational fear is a real fear which can be a death or an illness. An irrational fear is a fear of something harmless or potentially dangerous, but whose probability of occuring is low or not possible. For example, if I know one of my family members has cancer and the doctor says he has a posibility to die then it’s a rational fear.

I have always had more irrational fears in my life. For example, whenever I’m flying I think the airplane will crash and get myself very anxious. Of course, it can happen but the facts show that flying is way more safer than riding a car and that the possibility to die in a plain crash is really low. Airplane have the newest technology and there are 1000000 airplanes flying every second. It’s good to distinct your fears. Ask yourself if it’s worth to be fearful and if there’s a high chance that the thing you fear will come true or if your mind is playing tricks with you. Most of the things I was anxious about never happened.

9. If you can’t overcome a fear alone ask for a friend or family member to come with you

I always go to the doctors or dentist with my mother or father. I prefer to go with someone I trust and who can help me to overcome that fear. If I go alone I would feel even more anxious. You don’t have to do it your alone. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s also much easier to face your fear with someone then on your own.

10. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts

I know this one is easier said than done. I just believe so much in the law of attraction. Energy never lies and we attract the things we feel and think. I have had moments in my life that I thought every bad thing was happening to me. When I began to think more positive thoughts I could feel the good energy flowing into my life. I remember a time that I lost something and find it back. I remember when I helped a man find a hostel here in Valladolid and then he invited me for a free diner in a tapas restaurant. Negative thoughts will only make you more fearful. Positive thoughts will make you believe you can overcome your fear and you will 💪💕 We are all in this together.


As I’m done sharing my 10 tips of overcomig a fear I would like to share a little bit more about my dentist fear and how I’m going to overcome it. Last Wednesday was a very emotional and nerve-wracking day. I had an appointment with the dentist here in Valladolid. I have problems with my wisdom teeth as you already know. I knew I had to go to the dentist to ask a second opinion here in Spain. After two years of postponing it I went to check it. I went with my mother. They made a picture of my teeth. One woman at the reception asked me to sign a paper and she asked if I take medication. I was silence and then told her I take antidepressants and that I have anxiety. I still find it hard to open up about my mental health illness even to doctors. I don’t want that they think I’m crazy. Then I had to wait for a while and finally it was time to enter the scary room of the dentist haha 😂😨

The first thing I did when I sat down on the dentist chair was crying. I cried so much. I felt ashamed to be so anxious and that I had to cry. He said: “it’s okay you can cry.” I was thinking like what?! I can be sensitive and cry hell yes 👊. He said: “I also cry.” I find that really amazing that he said that because there are so many men who say they never cry and appear strong. We all cry. We are all human. He checked my teeth and said I had caries in the four wisdom teeth. They all need to be pulled out. This scared me a lot. He told me I don’t have to worry because I will not feel any pain. He will give me medication and antibiotics. He even said if I wanted to do it today or tomorrow lol I was like no way. The assistant came and said yes you can do it tomorrow. The he said don’t pressure her, you can decide it. I have never felt so understood and comfortable at the dentist. Besides, he is so handsome omggg 😍

I made an appointment to get one pulled out one monday. I hope I’m not going to cancel the appointment because of way too much fear. I’m still scared as hell. I tell myself it’s going to be okay. He said it will only take 15 minutes. I told him too about having anxiety in life and searching for a job. He said that I’ve to accept that your dream job doesn’t come at once. Everything takes time. I have to face my fears which is just so true. I have to stop running away from everything I fear. I can do this 🙏 I will take an anti anxiety medication on Monday and the night before. The other 3 wisdom teeth will be pulled out when I’m back in Spain. Just one at a time. That’s the best for me. I’m a warrior 💪💪

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Thank you all for reading. I hope you learned a lot about these 10 tips in facing a fear. I hope you can you use them too in your daily lives. We are all fighters 💪 We can go through it all together. Can you relate to these tips? How would you face a fear? Do you also have dentist anxiety and how are you overcoming this fear? Did you ever get a tooth pulled out? Let me know in the comments your thoughts and experience.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

10 self care tips 💞🌠

Hey lovely bloggers 😍,

It’s been a long time since I wrote something related to self love/self care/mental health on my blog so I thought it’s about time now. Self care is so important in today’s world where everybody is always in rush and never take time to just be in the moment and to just take care about themselves. In this blog post I will share my 10 self care tips for you all. Of course, they are personal based on what I find useful. I hope you can find them useful too and can apply them in your life. These 10 tips are not in any rank ordered. They are all equally important. Some may will be pretty obvious but sometimes we forget about those little tips which would make us feel well. Feel free to comment your awesome self care tips aswell.

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1. Sleep enough hours at night

I think this is really an important one. I hate mornings so much and I can’t seem to enjoy them. It’s even more difficult for me when I didn’t had enough hours of sleep. I would feel miserable, my concentration decrease and my anxiety would increase because of the lack of sleep. Sleeping is so important for our well-being and just in general for our physical and mental health. If you slept enough hours and slept well, you will feel happy and full of energy the morning you wake up. Some people may think that if they catch up on sleep another day it will be all okay again. Catching up on sleep isn’t good enough. Adults have to sleep at least 8 hours at night and of course it depends on the person. I usually need 8 hours or even 9 to feel good.

2. Eat healthy

Eating the right food is really important for our health. I like to eat pizza a lot or other fastfood such as Mc Donalds or Burger King but sometimes when I ate that I feel bad afterwards. Fastfood isn’t good for our health and we sometimes crave it when we feel stressed or sad. If you eat once in a while it will not do any harm. With eating healthy I mean to eat many vegetables which are really so important for us. Fish and meat is good for our health too if you eat the right portions. I also read once that nuts are really good for our mental health. Of course, let’s not forget about fruits which are full of vitamins and so good for our health. Your body & soul will thank you after you have eaten healthy food.

3. Take a shower/bath

Sometimes I don’t feel like to take a shower in winter because of the cold. Of course, I do it but it will cost me more energy and effort haha. When I turn the van on I will feel warmer inside my bathroom. Taking a shower or taking a bath is so good for ourselves. It’s the perfect way to take care of ourselves. In The Netherlands I have a bath and I used to use some Lush products such as some bath bombs. I love it so much. Here in Spain, I have a shower without a bath but I also enjoy it. Whenever I’m in the shower I hear the water, I feel the warm water on my skin and just feel in the moment so peaceful. It’s just such a great form of relaxation. After taken the shower, I feel completely rested and fresh & fruity.

4. Hang out with your tribe

For me, this point is also a really important one. Hang out with your family or with your friends who understand you and respect you. It’s so important to find the right people. The right people will always be there for you, in the good and in the bad. I find it really helpful to have friends who also share the shame passions with me such as surfing, travelling and singing. I have had a lot of fake friends who bullied me in my life and totally didn’t respect me. I’m glad they aren’t in my life anymore. I encourage all of you to find people who will help you to grow as a person and live beautiful moments with them. You deserve people who will love for you who you are.

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5. Spend time in nature

When I have bad days, I feel like not going out and I just want to stay at home. I know this will not increase my mood and I will not be happy of it. Sometimes, the best thing to do on such days is to go outside and spend time in nature. I live near to a park and sometimes I take a walk and just spent time observing the beautiful nature while sitting on a bench alone or with my mother or with a friend. Spending time in nature will help you to feel good about yourself. It definitely increase our mood. It’s just so important to be in the moment and enjoy the beautiful nature which this beautiful earth has to offer us.

6. Read a book

I really want to read more books. I love reading and I’m sad I don’t do it as often as I want. Reading a book is really good for us. Whenever, I read a good book I forget the whole world arround me and I just am in the moment reading that book. It feels like I’m in another world. We also learn a lot about life while reading. I love reading novels but I also love to read some mental health/self love/self care books which useful tips to apply in my life. I will soon write a book review about some of them.

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7. Exercise

I don’t mean exercise in a way that you go jogging till you are totally out of energy. I know there are many people who exercise and feel worse after it. People suffering from anorexia for example exercise because they want to be skinny and be happier about themselves. The sad thing is that they are never going to achieve that goal. I think exercise is really good when you do it because it makes you happy. You can go for a walk or do yoga or go swimming. Yoga is really good for your physical and mental health aswell as swimming. I really like those sports because it increase my mood. It’s also really good for when I have back pain and shoulder pain. I also like to surf. All these forms of exercise make me feel good about ourselves and that’s the most important thing. I don’t do it to loose weight or anything but just to feel happy and increase my health.

8. Write

Writing is such an important form of healing. It definitely helps you to grow and inspire you. You can write in your journal or diary. I used to have a diary but now I prefer to have a journal and write poems or other things. I also to have a scrapbook and have all my memories of travels and moments with family & friends there. Writing can do so much good. I also love that I began this blog in August. After I wrote all my feelings and emotions down I feel really released and can let all the things which are bothering me go. Just write anything you want. Writing can be very therapeutic. It doesn’t matter if it’s all a mess which you are writing. That mess of writing can be very beautiful because all your thoughts and feelings are valid. Let it all out and let it all go.

9. Listen to music

Music is the best thing in life. Life without music would be a hell. Music will always be there for you, in good and bad times. I have found so many songs when I didn’t had the words to explain what I was feeling. Music always has the rights words when you need them the most. Listening to uplifting music can increase your mood so much. Music make us so happy. That’s why I love going to concerts so much too. Just being in the moment and listening to your favourite band/singer makes me so happy. It’s that feeling of being one with the world. Only good vibes! 💞 On some days I prefer sad music that fits my mood, on other days I prefer music to dance and just be happy and on some days I love to sing karaoke. Singing is one of my biggest passions. Soon I will share some songs which I recorded. I sang in a choir for 11 years in The Netherlands. I told that once in other blog posts.

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10. Try to think positive thoughts

It’s difficult to think positive thoughts when you feel sad or bad about yourself. I’m a bit better in thinking positive thoughts than I was years before. Whenever, I have a bad thought I would think that that thought is true and most of the time it isn’t true. For example, if I think that I’m not worth it I will think that that thought is true. It isn’t true because I have so many good qualities and I’m capable of achieving all my dreams. Those are just negative thoughts but they have such a bad influence on our self esteem. Try to think positive thoughts and your perspective on life will change. Life will be sunnier when you think positive thoughts and try not to think the worst in many situations. I admit that I’m really good in thinking the worst all the time and that at the end it wasn’t worth to think those thoughts because my worst case scenario didn’t came true. Be happy and the rest will follow 😄💙

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I hope you all liked this list of mine 10 self care tips and can apply them in your life. Let me know of some other suggestions which you do to apply self care in your life. Let’s take time to take care of ourselves and love each other much ❤

Much love,

xoxo Christina

10 mental health resolutions for this new year

Hey lovely bloggers <3,

Today I wanna share my 10 mental health resolutions for the new year. I think it’s really important to focus on our mental health because body and mind works together. If you have a mental illness like I have been diagnosed with anxiety, it’s really important to have some resolutions to feel better. Our brain is an organ too and many times people forget this. Our brain can misfunction too like any other organ in our body. We have to beat the stigma of mental health illnesses. They are real and nobody should feel ashamed of this. 1 out of 5 people have a mental health illness which is a lot. We shouldn’t feel alone in this. We are all in this together ❤

Screenshot-2018-1-15 Self love is the key in life 💕 ( christinax1993) • Instagram-foto's en -video's1. Read more awesome books

I love reading but I have to admit that I don’t do it a lot. I have bought some new awesome books online. I’m gonna share them with you all when I have finished them. I also wanna do more book reviews on my blog. Reading is so good. It definitely helps me a lot with my anxiety. I have a lot of self help books and it’s makes me realize that I don’t have to feel alone with suffering from anxiety. There are so many people who suffer from this along their lives. I also love to read about tips and apply them in my real life. Reading is really an important form of healing. Reading makes you wiser and makes you dive into a fantasy world which takes away the pain and suffering from the real world. I love to read and always forget the world around me, such an amazing feeling.

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2. Keep writing poems and on my blog

I love writing so much. It’s such a great way of healing too. I always feel such a great satisfaction when I write all my thoughts and feelings down. It feels like I’m letting something of myself go which makes me feel lighter and happier. In this new year, I want to keep writing poems and share them with you. I also wish to continue writing on my blog. I love writing on my blog and it definitely is helping me so much with my anxiety. I came in contact with awesome people who experience the same and feel less alone. Thank you all so much for your lovely support. I’m so blessed to have you all in my life. I will forever cherish the great friendships I have made here ❤

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3. Go to yoga lessons

I love doing yoga at home with Youtube videos but I also really want to go to real yoga lessons in Valladolid, Spain, where I’m living right now. I love Yoga Girl. She is a swedish yoga teacher who is living together with her hushband Dennis and her little girl Lea Luna in Aruba. I will share a blog post about her soon because she is such a big inspiration in my life. She also has her own yoga studio in Aruba called Island Yoga. I would love to go to meet her and go on a yoga retreat in Aruba! That would be so awesome. She does yoga on her retreat week but also sharing and journalling. That’s just so good for healing and for my mental health.

Her real name is Rachel Brathen. She also has her own postcast on Itunes or Spotify every friday where she talks about anything in life, could be about anxiety, self love, marriage, work life, following your dreams, being bullied, death…… just everything in life, the good and the bad. I love how authentic she is. Yoga is really such an amazing way to have less anxiety in life and has so many benefits for your mental health. I did some classes in The Netherlands and afterwards I felt more relaxed and happier. Yoga is the best way to discover your inner self, be in the moment and let everything go. I really wanna search for a good studio here in Valladolid and have some awesome yoga lessons.

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                                   Lea Luna, Yoga Girl (Rachel Brathen) and Dennis

4. Care less about what people think of me

I still find this such a difficult one because I think it has to deal with being bullied during childhood and high school. I still care about what people think of me. If somebody laugh, I instantly think that they laugh about me when it isn’t even the case. I think to not care at all is not a realistic resolution because at the end I will still care a bit. I have to focus on my life and care less about what other people may think about me. If I care less, I become happier and less anxious. It would be such a great benefit for my mental health. I just have to let opinions of other people go and do the things which make me happy. I’m doing better than before but I still have to work a lot on this point in this new year.

5. Keep travelling

I just love travelling soooo much. Sometimes travelling can cause anxiety but when you plan your travels a long way before, it’s not a big deal. I have to admit that flying always cause me anxiety and that I have to take some meds before I go on an airplane. I love the view from the window, but I just hate turbulence. It makes me so anxious. However, I love travelling and it definitely is good for my mental health. In this new year, I will keep continue to travel around Europe and in Spain. I also would love to travel around the world but first I have to have more money. I also would love to do an interrail which means going by train and discovering many new countries in Europe with my friends. Maybe, I’m going to do that in the summer.  When I travel to a new place and discover new things, I let go all of the bad things in life. It helps me to distant myself from problems. I also love to be in contact with new cultures and making friends all over the world. I just love to learn about all the diferences and also know that at the end we are all the same: human and one with the world ❤ I learn so much about life from travelling so I will continue travelling as much, as far and as long as I can ❤

6. Stop comparing myself and my life with other people

This is such a bad habit that I have. When we scroll down on social media, we see all beautiful pictures of people who seem to have their life together. Everything looks perfect but trust me it ain’t the truth. Life has ups and downs. I like to show the truth about my life on my social media, especially on Instagram and on this blog. It is important to show the good and the bad in life. I often compare myself with others. I always feel the pressure of society like I already should have get married, and have babies and have a job and have my life together and blablabla. It makes me feel so overwhelmed. This new year I wanna learn that it’s okay to not have life together and to make little steps forward. I just graduated and I feel the pressure of having that dream job when I don’t even know what that means. I think this year I have to focus on myself and do things I love. I can have part time jobs and be happy. All things take time. I think if we spend less time in comparing our lives to other lives, we will end up happier and relaxer. Just focus on yourself and try to do things you enjoy. Everything in your life will come exactly at the right time, no rush.

7. Spend more time enjoying nature and less time on social media

I have to admit that I spend way too much time on social media. Of course, I run this blog and wanna spend time doing this. However, I should try to detox from social media once in a while. It’s really good to spend more time in nature. I love to walk around the park near to my house and breathing the fresh air. Sometimes I get really overwhelmed from all the social media. Sometimes it makes me anxious because I feel like I don’t have my life together and others have. It ain’t not true because most people only share their perfect pictures of their lives. Like I said in the point before, we compare our lives way too much on social media. If we spend less time on social media, we will feel more in contact with the world and more at peace with ourselves. Spending time with friends in real life is really important to not feel lonely and be social. I love to go for a walk with my friends, eat some delicious food “tapas” in Spain and have fun together.

8. Focus more on my creative passions like writing, singing and photography

Some of my passions are writing like I said before. I love to write in my journal, write poems and write on my blog. Writing is such a beautiful way of healing. I also love to sing so much. I used to sing in choir for 11 years. I really miss singing in a choir. Maybe, I’m gonna search for a new choir here in Spain or have some classes again. I enjoy singing so much. It makes me feel so relaxed and happy. Singing is a great way of letting all your feelings and thoughts go. I will show some videos of me singing in another blog post.

Furthermore, I also love photography. One of my brothers, Edward with his wife Elke have their own company of wedding photography. I learned a lot from them and I also learned a lot of photography taking a course during my studies. I have a lot of different cameras such as a Nikon, normal camera, polaroid Instax Mini 8 and a lomography camera Diana F+. I wanna continue to take all kinds of pictures again and share them with you. I hope you will all like them. Photography is a creative hobby and such a nice way to be active. I love to be creative and it’s really good for my anxiety. All these passions help me healing and make me happy. I once read that people who have anxiety or depression, tend to be more creative than other people. I think this is really true because I met many people with a mental illness and they all are so incredible talented and creative. Being creative is really a blessing in life. Earth without art is just “eh”.

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9. Go to the beach and surf more

When I lived in the Netherlands I was just 15 minutes away by car from the beach. The bad thing is that it rains a lot in The Netherlands and you can’t spend that many days on the beach as in Spain. Right now, I’m living in Valladolid which is one hour from Madrid. The nearest beach is Santander which is a city in the north coast of Spain. It’s three hours away by train. I went to Santander twice last year and enjoyed some really great beach days. I love to swim in the ocean, feel the ocean breeze and hear the waves crashing down the shore. I like the salt ocean so much. It’s so good for your mental health. The ocean makes me feel so relax, peaceful and happy. This year, I wanna spend even more days on the beach. Last year, I went twice to the beach of Santander called “El Sardinero” and once to the beach of Granada, which is in the south of Spain, in Andalucia. I went to “La Rabita”. The beach is just my favourite place on this earth.

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I also like to surf. Í have my own Rip Curl blue wetsuit. I hope I still can wear it because it has been two years since the last time I surfed. I really missed it. I’m a beginner and still have to learn how to catch waves. I can stand on a surf board and can enjoy it, which is the most important thing about surfing. I also made my thesis about the surfing lifestyle. Surfing is just a way of living and it so good for my anxiety. Surfing the waves makes me forget my anxiety, enjoy life and live in the moment ❤ It’s a total zen moment. I have surfed many times in The Netherlands and in Spain. I went twice to a surf camp in Spain near to Santander in Suances called Bio Surf Camp and Art Surf Camp in Galicia, Razo. In Razo, I surfed in the Atlantic Ocean and omg the waves were so high that I got scared and didn’t want to push myself too far and deep in the water. It’s all about practice and learning to let this fear go aswhile as in life. I wish to surf again this year and go on a surf camp because that’s the best way to learn surfing. Besides, I have made some incredible friends in these camps and had so many amazing adventures which I will never ever forget.

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                      Me at the Art Surf Camp in Galicia, Razo in the Summer of  2015

10. Having a better sleep routine

Since, I’m graduated and don’t study anymore my sleep routine is really messed up. I go really late to bed and wake up too late. I know it’s my fault and I have to change it. In the meantime that I’m searching for a (part-time) job, I have to focus on myself and trying to have a better sleep routine. I shouldn’t go too late to bed and wake up at a reasonable time. Having a sleep routine is just so important to feel good and not stressed out. It’s really important for our mental health. Everything begins with those habits. Sleeping is really important. We have to sleep 8 hours at least every night. If I don’t sleep 8 hours at night I’m already feeling so tired and feel even more anxious in life. Sleeping is as important as eating the right food and caring for ourselves. I know I can have a better sleep routine. I just have to get started and then it will work out.

I hope you all liked my 10 mental health resolutions for this new year, 2018. Have an amazing year you all! ❤ I wish you all a new year full of love, happiness and health. Let’s focus this year on ourselves. Love yourself and each other because that’s what this world needs: more love, no hate ❤

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Love you all so much ❤

Much love,
xoxo Christina

 

Sometimes I really miss my childhood 😢💕👸🌈🌠

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

I wanna talk in this blog post about how I miss my childhood sometimes. I think many bloggers can relate to this aswell, if of course you had a good childhood. Not everybody has that privilige especially kids in underdeveloped countries which I find so sad 😢. I remember one time that I made a box with toys and gave it to a church and they send it to those kids. They were so happy. They even wrote a card back to me. That just made my day! 💕

This is little me, don’t know how old, maybe 5/6. I was dressing up as a beautiful princess haha 👑👸 I always liked to play that. I would still do that for a theme party. It’s just so fun. I really like to dress up. I can’t wait to celebrate Halloween this Saturday with my friends here in Spain and dress up like a witch like I do ever year 😂.

Sometimes I really do miss being this little. If I think of it I cry a bit. This was the time that I could be myself without a damn care in the world. This was the time that I could wake up at Christmas day and just be sooooo full of excitment. You know that feeling?! That’s just so beautiful. I still love Christmas so much but while having anxiety I find it sometimes stressing to be surrounded by all my family and get asked questions about what I’m doing with my life, career and all that stuff. I just don’t know what to say then. Back then nobody asked those questions. Life was just so simple. I really miss that. I could be happy with little things. As you grow older into an adult it all has to be big things such having a great job, a great partner and so on. Life is made about all those little things. 

This picture was made during Sinterklaas. I always made these crazy moves with my hand haha 😂 This is a feast which we celebrate on the 5th of December. He brings presents to the kids. It’s so lovely that we all believed in this. We all believed in Sinterklaas, Santa Claus and The three kings when it wasn’t true. I was really shocked when I knew my parents were the ones who gave me presents. It was that time that I started not to believe the things people were telling me. I felt like everything was a lie. I was 8 years old. It’s just so magical to believe in all of this as a little child. 

That time I turned five years old. I love that the table is covered with images of beer hahaha xD. 

Everything was fun when I was little. I didn’t had periods pain. I played a lot and met great friends in primary school. I was really happy this time. It was at high school that I got bullied and things just changed. It was then that I knew the world wasn’t so colourful as I imagined. It was dark sometimes and sometimes really dark. I got a boyfriend when I was 17 and then at 19 he broke up with me and my whole life felt apart. I’m going to write about that love story in another blog post. It all felt apart in just in one second.

I miss this time where I could be innocent. I miss this time because I felt safe and loved in this wold. I didn’t knew anything yet about the dangers of the world. I just felt so happy and free like everything is fun and could smile and laugh the whole day. I miss this time because my heart was full of love and not broken. I miss this time because I wasn’t afraid of anything. I didn’t know the concept of fear in life. I was climbing on the trees and I didn’t think of falling out of the tree. That thought just didn’t came into my mind. If I would do that now, I would think of being careful and only do it if it will be 100% safe to do because I don’t wanna get hurt. When you are a child you just don’t think of all that stuff. 

What I really do miss is not being able to just not think about one second and not to worry all the time. Now I’m 24, and I worry so much. I guess I believed in too many fairytales. We all have so much to do in life and have to rush to do all those stuff. Adults seem to not be able to enjoy the present moment anymore and just sit still and do yoga and meditate. Those are such great tools to get that present moment and peaceful feeling back.

This picture was made during a holiday in Spain. I love the swing and still play on that sometimes. I just such a carefree feeling. 

This picture was also made in Spain in the Basque country. I was supporting these people hahaha 😂

I have grown up with scars in my heart with being bullied in high school, having my heart broken and my father who almost died when I was 11 years old. This all caused me so much anxiety and sadness in life. After all, I’m thankful that this happened to me. It was all so hard but it shaped me. After my first love left me I couldn’t be happy and now after almost 5 years I’m able to be happy again. I now I won’t be this little innocent girl anymore but I have learnt from this all.

I learnt that life isn’t a fairytale but that it’s still so beautiful. We can make it beautiful. Its important to have deep and meaningful relationships with your family and friends. I learnt that we can add colour into our lives. I learnt that your family will always love you no matter how old you are. Your family will always be there for you 💖

Those are my two older brothers. I love them till infinity and beyond. The middle: Rafael is 39 and the left one called Edward is 35. Edward is married and has a beautiful two years old daughter so yeahhh I’m already aunt! 💕💖😍 Rafael has a Spanish girlfriend now for two years. 

I learnt that its normal to get nostalgic and sometimes wanna go back in time but its the past. We have to let it all go and move on. The future will be bright, it really will be 🌠 I learnt that we still have that child in our hearts. It’s still there but we have to set it free and be creative. I know the dangers of the world and am more careful but I still believe in the good people. I may be a real princess one day, who knows haha. What I really know is that I will be a dreamer & hippie for life. My heart will always be full of love and light because I so believe that even though the world can be seem really dark, there’s always a light that is shining out there 💫

This is me also in Spain, Basque country in the garden of my lovely Spanish family 😍

Much love,

Christina xoxo 

Would you be friends with people who spoke to you the way you speak to yourself? 💭

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

I saw this picture on Tumblr. This is just so true. We spend so much time doubting, hating and making fun of ourselves. Instead, we should love ourselves more for what we are. I can relate to this so much. I find it hard too. I remember so many times that I have said to myself that I’m not good enough or other bad thoughts such as that I’m not looking good or that I’m not beautiful. I still find it hard to trust these thoughts. However, I learned to not trust “this voice” in my head all the time even though it’s really difficult sometimes.

If a friend would spoke to me the way I speak to myself sometimes, I really wouldn’t be their friend anymore. How can you be friends with someone who is constantly saying negative things about you?! You don’t wanna be around with such a negative person. Why do we find it so damn easy to say things like we aren’t worth it, we aren’t good enough, we aren’t pretty like her/him to ourselves? We would never ever say that to a friend. We know those are bad thoughts 💭.

I think the reason why we find it so easy to say those things to ourselves lies also in society and media. We always see those perfect famous people; with all their glamour and perfect bodies that we increase this mis conception of not feeling good about ourselves. We see those lives and we feel like we aren’t good enough. We scroll through social media and see all those perfect people and wanna be like them. It ain’t perfect. They have problems too but only the good parts are showed. That’s media. Trust me, being famous isn’t always a happy life if you look to the facts that many famous people can’t cope with their lives and take a lot of drugs, alcohol and even suicide…. I find that really sad. 

Society increase those feelings of not feeling good enough constantly. We are so much aware of it. We see those examples in magazines, on social media, on television, just everywhere. It really annoys me. We have to excercise a lot, look skinnier, gain much money, have a perfect job, have a perfect family, travel to the best places on earth, buy a bigger house… It’s always about having more and being better. I don’t like that about our competitive society. It’s never good enough. 

I love this poem which I found on Google. It shows us how society will always find something to tear us down and how we would never be good enough. We shouldn’t listen to that negative voice but focus on how to feel good about ourselves.

Instead we should focus on what we have and achieve inner peace. Inner peace will bring us to self love. If we are happy about ourselves, we also focus on making good choices for our lives. If we feel good in our skin, we will excersise and eat healthy but not to be skinnier. I hate those fitness and diet pages so much. It only increase that negative feeling about yourself. I’m a believer of making good choices for yourself just to feel about yourself. If you all the time try to be skinnier and skinnier, you will never feel happy. It will never be good enough. 

We can eat healthier and do things we love just to feel good about ourselves and increase our health but not to obtain a certain imaginary goal which can’t never be achieved.

Fuck whats society tells you. Don’t believe them. You are good enough. You are beautiful with all your curves. Be proud of yourself. If you have a bad thought coming into your head of not being good enough, you could think of the things what makes you YOU. You are unique and have so many good qualities. You can be romantic, sensitive, kind, social, compasionate… Those are all good qualities. I know you must have all of these too and so muh more 💫

Being beautiful for me means not something temporary like the looks of a person. No. Being beautiful for me means how a person thinks and feels. Being beautiful goes beyond someone’s looks. It’s all about their qualities and dreams in life. Take all the superficial things away and you have that beautiful person. Being beautiful lays down in your soul. Looks will fade away with the years, but that personality and soul will always stick with you for the rest of your life.

Let the world talk. Make good choices for yourself and always out of love. Love yourself for what you are. Stop doubting about yourself. Know you are worth it and achieve all the dreams that you have. 

Believe in yourself, because YOU are beautiful and good enough. Never ever doubt that 💜💋

Much love,

xoxo

All of my kindness is taken for weakness 

Hey lovely bloggers 💞,

​I think of this quote so much. It is from the song FourFiveSeconds from Rihanna and some other artists. This relates so much to my experiences in life and interaction with people. I always treat people with respect and am always kind. Unfortunately, all of my kindness is taken for weakness. Why do you think? 💭

Kindness in today’s world is so rare that whenever people come across with someone that is kind, they assume it to be weakness. It is so much easier to hate and be judgmental. I don’t see kindness as a weakness. I see it as a strength. Being kind in a sometimes dark world takes so much courage.

Unfortunately, the kind people are the ones who suffer the most. I have had so many times that people took advantage of me and bullied me because of my kindness. They know I will never become angry or hateful. I am an easy target. However, I tried to change. I wanna be mean sometimes but I just fucking can’t. It’s not in my personality to be mean at people.

I have learned that kindness is a strength. I have learned that I don’t have to change and become this angry person because that won’t bring me any good in my life. I have learned that I can stay myself. I just have to set boundaries for people and say no more often and don’t let people taking advantage of me. I have learned to stay away from negative and judgemental people.

Why should you change yourself to be accepted in this world? No, fucking no. Even though in my opinion there are a lot of bad people out there, there are still so many good and kind people out there too. You just have to find them. We need people who are kind to each other in this world. You never know what they are going through.

It’s just sooo important to be surrounded with people who support and care about you. Kindness is such a good thing. If there wouldn’t be any kind person on this planet, it would be a really dark world. Shout out to all those beautiful kind people who take the fucking courage to be kind even though they have been hurt! 👏

Don’t let the world make you hate or break your own heart. Never change. Stay kind and true to yourself 💜👌💫 You are beautiful just the way you are 💞

Much love to all of you 💕💕💕,

xoxo

You can either run from your past or learn from it 💫

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

I just love this quote so much from R.M. Drake from Instagram 💜. You can all follow him on Instagram. I love his poetry and books he has written. This is exactly the way I’m feeling right now. If anybody feels this way too, remember you are not alone in this. Sometimes I still feel the the pain of my past. The pain of having my heart broken and giving my heart to the wrong people. It still fucking hurts 💔😢 .

I wish I could hate you and write everything that I hate about you… but I just can’t. There’s still a little piece in my heart that loves you, and maybe always will. First loves always hurt. First break ups even more. This Christmas it will be already 5 years since you left me. It’s such a long time ago. I’m so much better than before and almost don’t cry about you anymore but sometimes it still hits me how you broke my heart into pieces. We were too young.  I wanna feel love again and I know I can. It just takes time. My heart needs to heal. 

I also feel the hurt of people who hurt me in the past. I can still remember of people bullying me and making me feel worthless. When I meet new people I’m afraid to open up. When I know they are good people I can make life long friendships. I just have to feel safe. I have to remember myself that I’m not my past. I have to remember myself that I’m strong enough to let it all go.

If anybody feels this way too, remember that you are loved and not alone. We all go through hard times, just not at the same time. We all have to deal with toxic people in our lives. The best thing ever I did was to let those people go and only surround myself with good people, the ones who lift you up and will love you no matter what happens. You can either run from your past or learn from it like they say in The Lion King 💕 .

Learn from it, grow and be the best version of yourself because you fucking deserve all the good things of the world. You are beautiful and loved 💕💫✌

Much love,

xoxo 💕💕💕

Don’t go back to the things that hurt you! 

Hey lovely people ♡

I find that often people feel sad about a relationship which ended and can’t move on and still chase that person. This is not going to help you at all. I can relate to that so well. When my relationship ended like 5 years ago already I always had that kind of hope in my heart that everything would be fine again if I chased him. That didn’t work out. I think you can’t be friends with your ex. Of course, that depends of your situation. I felt heartbroken and felt worse of the illusion that maybe in the future we would be together again. No way! The person who has hurt you don’t deserve to be in your life again. What’s meant to be, will be. 

Also friendships can hurt you. That person who you think were your friend, lied to you and hurt you. You can’t be friends again with something who caused you pain. I also can relate to this as well. I mean, we as human beings are always kinda hopeful and can forgive a person quickly or think that this person will change. I trusted that but it never happened. Once a liar, forever a liar! 

Never run back to the things that hurt you. It can also be a job, an abusive relationship, a toxic relationship with somebody, just anything that hurt you. You will only heal when you let go and move on. I decided to not be friends with my ex anymore and blocked him everwhere on social media. It hurted me so much, especially now he has a girlfriend. The best thing to let go a friend or a person is to have no contact with this person. 

Besides, try to do things you love. I love reading, writing in my journal, travelling, surfing, being with my friends and family and just all stuff which makes me feel happy. Those are the things who healed my broken heart. Sometimes I can still feel empty but not like a few years ago where I couldn’t stop crying almost every night about the fact that I missed him so much.

Let it all go and make peace in your heart 💫

Much love,

xoxo