World Mental Health Day 2020 πŸ’šπŸ’ͺ

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Today is World Mental Health Day. Mental health is important every damn day. Mental health is as important as physical health. Today I want to share a poem about mental health. I’m here for you all πŸ™πŸ’ž. This year is even harder for all of us because of being more isolated this year. More people died by suicide and are struggling with their mental health because of the pandemic. I definitely feel this year is really such a struggle. It’s important that we all help each other.

Every 40 seconds someone dies by suicide. 1 out of 5 people suffer from a mental illness on a daily basis. I can say that we are done about speaking up. It’s time to change the whole mental health care system. The waiting lists are too long, the help is too late at times and there are no funds for good treatments. This is a worldwide issue which definitely need to change in all countries. Voting a political party which listen to our needs could make a change. There needs to be done so much in our society until everyone can get the help they need whenever they need it.

I’m so thankful for the support I have here online. I love the blogging mental health community. I love the support I get from my family especially my mother. She knows how to care for me and love me especially on the days I feel bad. I love my friends, pen pals and online friends so much too. I take anti anxiety meds when I need them like when I go to the dentist, have to fly or any other situation which makes me anxious and out of control. Everyone deals with it on their own way. There’s no right way. I don’t know whether I will go therapy once and that would help me. It’s also not okay to push someone into doing something they don’t think would help. Healing and recovery isn’t linear and it different for everyone. I think sometimes we just have to find a way with living with it. Writing, doing yoga, blogging, singing, listening to music, being with my loved ones, walks in nature, the sea, surfing, reading, meditation, speaking with someone I trust are all important tools that make me feel better. I hope you also have some great resources that will help you in your life. Mental health illnesses are so complexed, different and hard to treat. I guess at one point it will get better. We have to fight for that day and stay together.

This is the most vulnerable video I made. It’s a spoken poem for today. I hope it makes you feel less alone in your struggle and know that we are all in this together ❀️πŸ’ͺ I love you all so much.

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Today it's World Mental Health Day. This has to be every day and not just one day in a year. Every 40 seconds someone dies by suicide. 1 out of 5 people suffer from a mental illness on a daily basis. I can say that we are done about speaking up. It's time to change the whole mental health care system. The waiting lists are too long, the help is too late at times and there are no funds for good treatments. This is a worldwide issue which definitely need to change in all countries. Voting a political party which listen to our needs could make a change. There needs to be done so much in our society until everyone can get the help they need whenever they need it. This is the most vulnerable video I made. It's a spoken poem for today. I hope it makes you feel less alone in your struggle and know that we are all in this together ❀️πŸ’ͺ I love you all so much. I close my eyes All I see and feel is darkness I feel lost I'm not myself anymore My chest feels tight I'm breathing faster My heart rate is racing So many thoughts about the future I'm nauseous I'm getting dizzy Cold Warm I'm getting crazy Why can't I just feel like a normal person? I began to cry What's happening to me? This is what it feels to suffer from anxiety and panic attacks It's the worst 1 of 5 people suffer on a daily basis with their mental health Depression, bipolar, borderline, eating disorder, psychoses, anxiety, ocd Any person can suffer from one or more of them They all matter No matter your nationality, gender, age, race Mental illnesses are real There's no need to shame What we need is compassion, support and respect A better mental health system Every illness counts Time is ticking It's time to save lives Change the mental health care system We don't want more deaths We want better treatments available for all Because We all deserve to feel safe, loved and get the help we need whenever we need it Our time is now Let's all fight for a better system and society We are not alone We are all in this together always πŸ’ͺ❀️ We are warriors πŸ’ͺ Love you all Amen β€οΈπŸ™

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I close my eyes
All I see and feel is darkness
I feel lost
I’m not myself anymore
My chest feels tight
I’m breathing faster
My heart rate is racing
So many thoughts about the future
I’m nauseous
I’m getting dizzy
Cold
Warm
I’m getting crazy
Why can’t I just feel like a normal person?
I began to cry
What’s happening to me?

This is what it feels to suffer from anxiety and panic attacks
It’s the worst
1 of 5 people suffer on a daily basis with their mental health
Depression, bipolar, borderline, eating disorder, psychoses, anxiety, ocd
Any person can suffer from one or more of them
They all matter
No matter your nationality, gender, age, race
Mental illnesses are real
There’s no need to shame
What we need is compassion, support and respect
A better mental health system
Every illness counts
Time is ticking
It’s time to save lives
Change the mental health care system
We don’t want more deaths
We want better treatments available for all
Because
We all deserve to feel safe, loved and get the help we need whenever we need it
Our time is now
Let’s all fight for a better system and society
We are not alone
We are all in this together always πŸ’ͺ❀️
We are warriors πŸ’ͺ
Love you all
Amen β€οΈπŸ™

Remember, you are never alone. Like Ram Dass says, we are walking each other home. We are here for each other. I really wouldn’t know where I would be without all of you. My blog. My safe space. It’s so good to have a place where you feel like you can be yourself. I never felt this way before. I have always felt the feeling that I don’t belong anywhere. I never felt at home until I went to NYC and spoke at the United Nations and when I did my internship in Valladolid. Those places reminded me that good people exists. I also never felt at home until I began this blog. I didn’t knew so many awesome, inspirational and good people exists. Sometimes we forget it because of all what’s going on in the world. When there’s so much negative news we sometimes go into a dark hole and can only see the negative side of this world. I’m happy that thanks to blogging I know there are so many people who want you to be happy, healthy and will support you along your way.

Thank you a million times for always being there for me. There will be good and hard times in life. As long as we are together we will be fine because we will support each other along the way in this crazy adventure called life. I hope we can all meet one day, have deep talks and enjoy life together. I can’t wait to see you all making your wildest and biggest dreams coming true. I will always be cheering you from the side. You are not alone. You are kind. You are loved. Always remember too, you are enough. Don’t let society make you feel like you are not. Your mental health illness doesn’t define you as a person. I sometimes also feel like I’m an anxious person but it’s more like I suffer from anxiety. I’m not my anxiety. We aren’t our illness. We are much more than that. It isn’t our choice to be sick.

Thank you all for reading and watching my video. I hope it made you feel less alone and inspired you 🌌🌠. What do you think need to change in the mental health care system? What does make you feel better? How are you feeling now? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

I faced my anxiety again and got my second wisdom tooth extraction! πŸ’ͺπŸ¦·πŸ‘Š

Hola lovelies πŸ’•,

On the 24th of August I faced my dentist anxiety again. By then I still had to get rid of three wisdom teeth. Now only two 🦷🦷 lol it sounds less which makes me feel a bit more calm and happier. Yeahhhh I say byebye again to one wisdom tooth! πŸ˜‚. In this blog post I will tell you about my experience. I always love to talk about the things I fear on my blog and also related to anxiety because I know I’m not the only one facing these fears. It makes me feel less alone and writing release some anxiety which always good. Writing means healing and letting go.

So, the night before I was SO anxious again 😭. People say that the more you do something, the less scared you are. It ain’t no true when you suffer from a mental illness like anxiety. I still feel anxious even if I do something a million times like flying or going to the dentist. My heart was beating fast the night before and the day itself which was Monday. My appointment was late in the afternoon. I felt nauseous too. I always don’t eat much when I do something which scares me because otherwise I have to tendency to vomit because of anxiety. It always makes me feel ashamed to admit that but it doesn’t matter because everyone has something. There’s no person in this world who is never anxious. I just feel it a million times more which makes it so hard. The last time I went for a wisdom tooth extraction was in January. This time I could except more what would happen which maybe made me feel a bit more grounded. I also went swimming a lot the days before and did some meditation but I still felt so anxious.

I deciced together with my dentist that the best thing is to do it one by one. People said to me why don’t you just get rid of the four in one time. That treatment would be longer, I would have more pain and even more anxiety. Here in Spain they do it one by one, much better. Besides, I have to do what makes me feel good and not what other people except me to do. As I suffer from anxiety, I prefer to do things in parts. If you are anxious about something like going to the dentist or studying for an exam, a good way to release some anxiety is to break that daunting task into little parts. This way your brain will take it better. For me it works. I get really overwhelmed when I have to do something scary all at once.

The thing which makes me keep going to the dentist even though I’m scared is trust. I trust this dentist and his team. I trust them with all my heart πŸ’–πŸ™. I’m always afraid of people hurting me because of being bullied in the past. It makes me trust people less. Here I feel safe and respected. If I’m anxious, so be it. If I cry then that’s okay too. Trusting in people whether those are professionals, your friends or family is so important. We all need this in life. It gives us a sense of safety. I had to wait at the dental clinic with my mother for more than a half hour because there were more people. I drank some water and prefered to wait there then go outside. I was the last one because they close at 8.30/9.00 PM. Fernando (the dentist) came and I was like bybye I will go run away 🀣. He found that funny. I love it how you can call them their first names and they do the same with me. It makes it all less scary and more familiar.

So, I lay down and said how I would prefer to be on a beach right now. He laughed. I really find it funny how dentists talk with their patients while they are doing stuff in their mouth it’s like halooooo how can I talk normally?! I know they do it to ease the tension and be less anxious. Just when he was putting the local anesthesia in my mouth he asked me if I was working or studying. I said no. I said that I spent my time crying and having anxiety in life. It’s not totally true but I said that I’m also writing for some poetry competitions. Unfortunately I didn’t win any of them. Then he said oh you can have a blog. I said that I have one. I said: “I wrote about you haha”. Fernando: “I hope it was something positive.” I said: “No haha πŸ˜‚.” He looked at me like big eyes πŸ‘€. I was like no of course something positive! πŸ’ž He was happy to hear that. End well haha. It’s so nice to talk to him because it feels like I’m talking to a friend instead of a doctor.

This time I felt the needle πŸ’‰ of the local anesthesia even less. I got again the squeeze shark haha 🦈. I have it in my hands and can squeeze it. It helps for people who are anxious. Fidget toys help too. Fernando is even specialised in people who have anxiety because he definitely makes me feel so at peace. He said breath in slowly, breath out slowly and it worked. Then my mouth was numb and he could take my teeth out. It took a bit more time to get this teeth out but eventually it went well. All the time he asked if I had pain and I said no. I just felt some pressure. Then I heard click and that moment was the one he took my teeth out. There wasn’t even much blood. This time I saved the teeth. It’s now at home haha I will keep it for the tooth fairy lol. I wish I were that young again. I don’t know what he does but he is amazing. Best dentist evah. I really love them so much 😍😭.

He prescribed me again antibiotics, probiotics and ibuprofen for the pain. We had a lovely chat afterwards. He said that maybe I could have low blood pressure if sometimes I’m dizzy and anxious. He wanted to go to Mallorca but this year he won’t go on holidays because of the pandemic. I told him he is very tan haha. He is just really handsome. We got a free toothpasta. He said he don’t watch so much news which is much better. Then he told us a horrible story. Fernando said a man from 82 years old died by suicide this year because he was done with reading only negative news πŸ˜”πŸ˜’. It really hit him because he was a patient of him. It happened in front of the dental clinic. It’s really horrible to know that so many people are suffering now from mental health illnesses and nobody is doing saying anything about it. This pandemic is hitting us all hard economically, health wise too and mentally. I stopped reading and watching the news these last months because I couldn’t cope with it too. I get into a negative and anxious spiral which is difficult to get out of. I just want to know some stuff regarding travelling because we are always between Spain and The Netherlands but that’s it. I know me, my mother and my friends follow the safety measures which are washing our hands, wearing a mask and do social distance. I can’t control others so that’s it. It makes me so sad that this man didn’t had any support and felt so low to end his life. My heart is with him.

After this talk Fernando said don’t forget to have the gauze 20 minutes. I said yes but uhhh it was 30 minutes, right?! He said 10 minutes has passed now haha talking. We both laughed lol I really these chats so much. Everything goes so smoothly and so chill. It feels like I’m chilling with a friend. I have felt so much emotions these days. I was feeling low and high on energy. After having so much anxiety I felt relief and I felt again the feeling of letting something go. I may loose all my wisdom teeth but at the end I gain wisdom from this experience. I felt also very tired these days, maybe it’s because of the meds. The first night I couldn’t sleep on the side I always sleep so it frustated me. I had pain for a few days and now I feel almost like normal again. I ate solid food, some soft bread, gazpacho which is a delicious cold Spanish soup, tortilla de patata, pasta and veggie pures. It was all so delicious. I miss pizza πŸ•πŸ˜‹ though haha.

On Wednesday I went again for a check up at the dentist I had this white dress on and make up. I love to look good for myself. Then I was sitting on the chair and he said that I looked very good (EstΓ‘s muy guapa). And then without thinking I said haha for you πŸ˜‚. This is me being direct always 🀭. Fernando found it funny lol. He also said that the lower wisdom teeth removal will hurt a bit more but nothing like a brave woman like me won’t be able to tolerate. I felt completely flattered. If more men would be like him, this world would definitely be a better place. Of course, I love to look well for me. I will never ever again change myself for anyone. In the past I’ve done that which means wearing high heels for my ex but I really hated it. He said it made me have more self confidence. Wrong!!!! I did that for him. He said all girls wear high heels. I let the wild woman roar 🐺, the more authentic and honest I’m with myself. Not everyone likes that but that doesn’t matter. This is me. I’m my beautiful self which is the best way I can be. I’m a wild woman, watch me rise up πŸ”₯

The thing is that sometimes I feel like I’m in love with this dentist 😍πŸ₯°. Maybe it’s just me being cray cray haha. I think this feeling is normal when doctors take such good care of you, respect you and know how to care about your mental health too. I come from a traumatic experience in The Netherlands where a dentist said I’m childish and 15 years old. Now, I have a totally different experience which makes me feel in awe with the world. There are so many good people out there who wants best for you. Someone who gets me when I’m anxious deserves it all. I really need it. I don’t know if these feelings are mutual lol in love what?! I guess he just knows how to be there for me and make me feel less anxious. I hope that the next two times I have to go will go also well even though I still will be anxious. That will not change because I’m an anxious person but of course it’s not part of my personality. It will never be. I’m a loving, sensitive and caring person who suffers from anxiety. That’s the difference. We are all in this together. We are never alone in our struggles. I’m always here for you all πŸ™.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you liked it. Did you also had to have a wisdom teeth extraction? Was it painful? What do you think of the things my dentist said to me? Is it love haha? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’ž,

xoxo Christina

Reflection on 2018 & happy new year to you all! πŸŽ‰βœ¨πŸ’•πŸ’«

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Happy new year to you all! βœ¨πŸŽ‰ In this post I will talk about my 2018 and will show you how I celebrated New Year’s Eve. I’m glad I don’t have a cold amymore but just tonight I got my period so yeah that also sucks 😭 I’m glad I take medication for the cramps because otherwise I wouldn’t survive it. Besides, I’m also being anxious about my appointment of getting one of my wisdom teeth pulled out this week. I keep postponing the appointment. I know I have to do it but I’m so scared. H e l p. I also don’t want to do it in Holland. Here in Spain it’s much cheaper and the dentist understands my anxiety but I’m still so afraid and I just feel like I can’t cope. If anyone have some more tips to survive it I will be forever grateful πŸ™πŸ’• I can always take medication for anxiety if that’s enough to help me cope with it.

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We are already in 2019. A year has flown by. As usually I want to reflect on my year with this post and also write some important things for you all. Every year has its ups and downs. Every year consists of good things and bad things which happen to us. The most important thing is how we react to all these things. I know how hard it’s to stay positive in this sometimes dark world. I just keep believing that there are so many good things in the world and that there are indeed so many good people. You just have to find your tribe. I’m so glad I did.

I’m so happy with my blogging community, mental health community, Yoga Girl community and the goddess revolution community. I’m thankful that I joined these communities this year. They made me feel less alone and so much happier. If I’m in Holland I will maybe go to a meet up with some yoga girls. I also really wish that we will continue to all be friends and hopefully one day we will all meet ✨ I know the universe brought us all together for a reason which is to be connected with awesome people, share our struggles and feel supported.

I learned a lot this year. I learn every day from this world. This year I realized that there are truly lovely people who care about you and want you to be happy. I learned that it’s better to have a few good friends than a million of fake friends. The ones who love you will always be there for you no matter what. I learned that true love exists when I saw my brother getting married in August in Spain. I learned that this life is an adventure. Sometimes we win and sometimes we loose. We learn from every experience. I also learned that it’s okay if I’m not where I want to be in life. I still have a long way to go. I will find a career I love and will keep growing. It all takes time, pacience and trust in myself. I have to love myself, believe in myself and know that I can make my dreams come true such as working and living in Spain ✨

I also went to my first feminist strike in Valladolid, in Spain on International Women’s Day on the 8th of March with my mother. This was such an empowerful event. I never went to a demonstration before. I really wish 2019 will be the year that less women will be suffering from violence. I wish that women and men have the same human rights. Together we are starting a revolution. This is just the beginning. 2019 will be the year where women can be themselves, love themselves and love each other πŸ’•

This year I also learned that music is the best thing in life 🎢 I would be lost without music. I went to so many amazing concerts such as the OperaciΓ³n Triunfo 2017 concert in Madrid with my friend Maria πŸ’• OperaciΓ³n Triunfo makes me so happy and full of life. I also enjoyed the concert of Pablo Alboran, Chenoa, Hombres G and Celtas Cortos with my mother in Valladolid. I also enjoyed so much the concert of Sofia Ellar with my friend Maria. I can’t wait to see her again. It was so lovely to meet Sofia and get a picture with her. She’s the best and I can’t wait to see her singing again 😍

This year I began to read again a lot which I loved to do so much when I was younger. I will continue reading this new year. I also kept writing and being creative. I hope to create more amazing content on this blog. Writing is amazing. I travelled to Madrid, Granada, Santander and Somo. I discovered Somo which is a beautiful surfing village in the north of Spain. In 2019 I really want to go to a surf camp again πŸ„β€β™€οΈπŸŒŠπŸŒž. I didn’t go surfing for more than two years. I miss it so much. It’s also so good for my mental health. The sea is my home and cleans my soul. The beach is my favourite place on this earth. I can’t wait to travel to more amazing places and meet more amazing people.

Somo, Santander (September 2018)

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Granada, Andalucia (July 2018)

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La RΓ‘bita, Mediterranean Sea, Granada (July 2018)

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Madrid (March 2018)

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Maybe for some of you this year was a hard year. Maybe some of you have lost someone close to you. Maybe you just didn’t felt okay and were struggling. I’m here for you. It’s okay to grief. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel sad. Feelings change and emotions change but it all takes time. Try to not be hard on yourself next year. Remember, I’ll will always be there for you πŸ’• I hope you will invest in self love and self care this new year because that’s the most important thing that matters. I also encourage you all to surround yourself with people who love you and who bring you only good vibes because you deserve that ✨.

I celebrated my New Year’s Eve in Valladolid, in Spain. I decided to not go out with my friends. I also didn’t go out last year. I used to party every year but I don’t feel in the mood anymore. I have to do what feels good to me. I went to the hairdressers in the afternoon to cut the dead ends, my bangs and they made curls in my hair. I love to look good for myself. I dressed up at home and did my make up. My mother and I went to the house of the mother of the wife of my brother. We celebrated all together New Year’s Eve: Rafael, my mother, VΓ©ronica, VΓ©ronica’s mother and her brother. We enjoyed eating delicious Spanish food.

We ate cheese, jamon serrano, chorizo, bread and chicken. I didn’t eat the fish because I don’t like fish so much haha πŸ˜‚ At 12 o’clock we watched the television and ate the 12 grapes. We also had champagne πŸ₯‚. It’s a tradition in Spain to eat the 12 grapes. They say it brings luck. We watched television where we were hearing beautiful music and we played Spanish card games. I really loved it so much. I love playing games with my family. At 3.30 am my mother and I went home and we stayed in watching some television. We went to bed at 6 am pretty late but doesn’t matter because it’s a special night. I’m glad I didn’t go out because as soon as we were home I got my period haha. On New Year’s Day we just stayed in and chilled. I saw the movie Grease. I just love that movie & the music so much 😍 I also saw the movie Paper Towns which I love so much from John Green. I already saw this movie with my best friend one day and loved it.

l wish you all an amazing new year full of love, happiness and luck πŸ€βœ¨βœŒοΈ Stay strong & stay safe. We are all in this together πŸ’ͺ I love you all so so so much ❀️. Thank you all for reading. How was your New Year’s Eve? Did you stay at home or did you went to a party? Which are your goals or dreams to achieve in 2019? I would love to know. I will speak to you all soon in my next blog post.

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Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

The differences between everyday anxiety and an anxiety disorder

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

Today I want to write again about a mental health topic. As you all know I suffer from an anxiety disorder. I think it’s important to write about this issue. Today I’m going to talk about the differences of every day anxiety and having an anxiety disorder. I’m not a doctor or working in the mental health sector. This is just based on my own experience of having an anxiety disorder.

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This picture is from Google. I think it definitely explains really well the differences between every day anxiety and having an anxiety disorder. It’s a good way to understand the differences. Of course, if you want to get a real diagnosis you need to go to a doctor. All my life I thought that I just nervous and that it wasn’t a real illness. However, deep in my heart I knew that my anxiety wasn’t okay. Being nervous and actually having an anxiety disorder is much more than just being having a bit of nerves. Every one experience stress or anxiety in their lives. It can be stress or feeling nerves to do an exam or to give a presentation. An anxiety disorder is much more than just being worried about every day life. An anxiety disorder is constantly worrying which don’t let you live a normal life. It seems like you can’t go on with your life because your anxiety is in the way. If you can’t seem to let your anxieties go, you may have an anxiety disorder. Anxiety is a real mental illness.

If I fear a social situation or a situation that makes me uncomfortable than I would rather run away from it and avoid it. Having an anxiety disorder makes me avoid many times situations. For example, I fear going to the dentist and and up not going but I know I have to go. This will only increase my anxiety and make it worse. Avoidance isn’t working but is caused because of my anxiety disorder. It’s really hard to go through life and wanting to avoid everything which makes me anxious. I know overcoming a fear will be worth it and eventually I would think that it wasn’t that scarry. I still avoid situation that makes me anxious. I’ve learnt to overcome some of them but I’m still in the process which is hard.

Also having panic attacks on the regular basis may be also a sign of having an anxiety disorder. Panick attacks are really the worst thing ever. I’m glad it’s such a long time ago that I had one but I still remember how awful it feels. I think it was months ago that I experienced one. I know of one panick attack that happened in my home city Valladolid, in Spain almost two years ago. I was alone in the busy shopping street and felt like crying, felt dizzy, my heart was beating fast, felt so anxious and was afraid to not get to home safe as I was afraid of falling down because of feeling so dizzy and strange. I came home crying but I was safe. I just wanted to get to home safe and sound. I remember that it took me so time to understand that just because it happened doesn’t mean it will happen again. The thing with panic attacks is that you fear to have another one and that makes it really scarry. After that happened I was afraid to walk through that street again because it reminded me of the bad time. Now, I overcame that fear and I can walk through that street normally.

I also remember another time I had a panick attack which was in August last Summer the night before my exam. It was the last exam I had to take to graduate my studies. In June I made the same exam about law and failed for 0.5 point. It made me feel so anxious and emotional. I just wanted to graduate. I was afraid I would never graduate. The night before I had to take the exam again in August I had a panick attack. I felt so anxious, naouseous, dizzy, my body shaking, feeling my heart beating fast again, feeling cold and warm at the same time and crying. I slept only a few hours and also ended up in the bed of my mother. Fortunately she was there for me. I also took a 1.5 mg of bromazepam which is a benzodiazepine that helps to beat my anxiety. It definitely calmed myself down and I could sleep a few hours before my exam. At the end, my exam went so well and I got as a mark an 8 and could graduate.

I think one of the worst things of having an anxiety disorder is just the fear that you are going to die or like you go completely crazy. I know I will not die but feeling like you breath fast and feeling dizzy make you feel that way. I always get scared when I feel that way because I fear to have another panic attack. I’m glad I didn’t have one since months ago but I still fear that. It’s a horrible thing to experience. I hope nobody who’s reading this have to experience this. If you have experience this, I hope you are feeling better right now. I’m always here for anyone who wants to talk with me. I’m not a professional doctor but I will be there for you β€οΈπŸ™

All these thoughts of thinking that like you are going to fail an exam, feeling that you are going to die or thinking that you aren’t good enough are irrational thoughts. They aren’t real. You just believe them and that will at the end make you feel bad about yourself. If you say to yourself every day that you aren’t worth it, sooner or later you are going to believe it. These thoughts turn into feelings. You are also going to feel you aren’t worth it and that will turn into actions. You are going to neglect yourself as for example not drinking enough water or not eating well. I’m learning not to believe those irrational thoughts but it’s really hard. I just hate all those thoughts and feelings I have when I feel anxiety. I know many of the situations I fear don’t cause me any danger but my mind thinks different because it’s sick.

It’s normal to feel anxious and have rational thoughts when you are in life danger such as when you have an accident. Feeling so much anxiety for example for an presentation and feel like you are going to mess up isn’t that realistic. You learned enough and just do your best. That’s really enough. It’s just your mind that makes you think all these negative thoughts about yourself which you believe. A good way to replace these irrational thoughts is with rational thoughts. Ask yourself if your thoughts are realistic or if it’s your mind that’s playing a game with you.

Also having nightmares and having constantly flashbacks about a traumatic event can be a sign of having an anxiety disorder. If something traumatic happened in your life and you just can’t seem to let it go it would be a good idea to ask for help and get professional help. I remember that I had bad dreams of being bullied again and was experiencing it again in my dream. I’m glad I could talk about it during some counselling sessions a few years ago. I realized it wasn’t my fault that I got bullied of course and that those people were just mean. I have and always have been enough. I’m glad I don’t have those bad dreams anymore.

I still take antidepressants since one year and a half. It’s just 20 mg but definitely helps. I still have to learn to live with anxiety my whole life. I also take a benzo when I feel high anxiety. I hope you all liked this blog post. I hope I explained the differences between every day anxiety and actually having an anxiety disorder well. I’m not a doctor. This is all just based on my own experience. Do you also have an anxiety disorder and can relate to it? Did you ever experience a panic attack? Do you get help? I would love to know your thoughts and opinion about it. I would also love to help anyone who feels bad or is struggling right now. I will always be here for you all ❀️

I love you all so much πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina