Reflection on 2018 & happy new year to you all! 🎉✨💕💫

Hey lovelies 💕,

Happy new year to you all! ✨🎉 In this post I will talk about my 2018 and will show you how I celebrated New Year’s Eve. I’m glad I don’t have a cold amymore but just tonight I got my period so yeah that also sucks 😭 I’m glad I take medication for the cramps because otherwise I wouldn’t survive it. Besides, I’m also being anxious about my appointment of getting one of my wisdom teeth pulled out this week. I keep postponing the appointment. I know I have to do it but I’m so scared. H e l p. I also don’t want to do it in Holland. Here in Spain it’s much cheaper and the dentist understands my anxiety but I’m still so afraid and I just feel like I can’t cope. If anyone have some more tips to survive it I will be forever grateful 🙏💕 I can always take medication for anxiety if that’s enough to help me cope with it.

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We are already in 2019. A year has flown by. As usually I want to reflect on my year with this post and also write some important things for you all. Every year has its ups and downs. Every year consists of good things and bad things which happen to us. The most important thing is how we react to all these things. I know how hard it’s to stay positive in this sometimes dark world. I just keep believing that there are so many good things in the world and that there are indeed so many good people. You just have to find your tribe. I’m so glad I did.

I’m so happy with my blogging community, mental health community, Yoga Girl community and the goddess revolution community. I’m thankful that I joined these communities this year. They made me feel less alone and so much happier. If I’m in Holland I will maybe go to a meet up with some yoga girls. I also really wish that we will continue to all be friends and hopefully one day we will all meet ✨ I know the universe brought us all together for a reason which is to be connected with awesome people, share our struggles and feel supported.

I learned a lot this year. I learn every day from this world. This year I realized that there are truly lovely people who care about you and want you to be happy. I learned that it’s better to have a few good friends than a million of fake friends. The ones who love you will always be there for you no matter what. I learned that true love exists when I saw my brother getting married in August in Spain. I learned that this life is an adventure. Sometimes we win and sometimes we loose. We learn from every experience. I also learned that it’s okay if I’m not where I want to be in life. I still have a long way to go. I will find a career I love and will keep growing. It all takes time, pacience and trust in myself. I have to love myself, believe in myself and know that I can make my dreams come true such as working and living in Spain ✨

I also went to my first feminist strike in Valladolid, in Spain on International Women’s Day on the 8th of March with my mother. This was such an empowerful event. I never went to a demonstration before. I really wish 2019 will be the year that less women will be suffering from violence. I wish that women and men have the same human rights. Together we are starting a revolution. This is just the beginning. 2019 will be the year where women can be themselves, love themselves and love each other 💕

This year I also learned that music is the best thing in life 🎶 I would be lost without music. I went to so many amazing concerts such as the Operación Triunfo 2017 concert in Madrid with my friend Maria 💕 Operación Triunfo makes me so happy and full of life. I also enjoyed the concert of Pablo Alboran, Chenoa, Hombres G and Celtas Cortos with my mother in Valladolid. I also enjoyed so much the concert of Sofia Ellar with my friend Maria. I can’t wait to see her again. It was so lovely to meet Sofia and get a picture with her. She’s the best and I can’t wait to see her singing again 😍

This year I began to read again a lot which I loved to do so much when I was younger. I will continue reading this new year. I also kept writing and being creative. I hope to create more amazing content on this blog. Writing is amazing. I travelled to Madrid, Granada, Santander and Somo. I discovered Somo which is a beautiful surfing village in the north of Spain. In 2019 I really want to go to a surf camp again 🏄‍♀️🌊🌞. I didn’t go surfing for more than two years. I miss it so much. It’s also so good for my mental health. The sea is my home and cleans my soul. The beach is my favourite place on this earth. I can’t wait to travel to more amazing places and meet more amazing people.

Somo, Santander (September 2018)

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Granada, Andalucia (July 2018)

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La Rábita, Mediterranean Sea, Granada (July 2018)

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Madrid (March 2018)

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Maybe for some of you this year was a hard year. Maybe some of you have lost someone close to you. Maybe you just didn’t felt okay and were struggling. I’m here for you. It’s okay to grief. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel sad. Feelings change and emotions change but it all takes time. Try to not be hard on yourself next year. Remember, I’ll will always be there for you 💕 I hope you will invest in self love and self care this new year because that’s the most important thing that matters. I also encourage you all to surround yourself with people who love you and who bring you only good vibes because you deserve that ✨.

I celebrated my New Year’s Eve in Valladolid, in Spain. I decided to not go out with my friends. I also didn’t go out last year. I used to party every year but I don’t feel in the mood anymore. I have to do what feels good to me. I went to the hairdressers in the afternoon to cut the dead ends, my bangs and they made curls in my hair. I love to look good for myself. I dressed up at home and did my make up. My mother and I went to the house of the mother of the wife of my brother. We celebrated all together New Year’s Eve: Rafael, my mother, Véronica, Véronica’s mother and her brother. We enjoyed eating delicious Spanish food.

We ate cheese, jamon serrano, chorizo, bread and chicken. I didn’t eat the fish because I don’t like fish so much haha 😂 At 12 o’clock we watched the television and ate the 12 grapes. We also had champagne 🥂. It’s a tradition in Spain to eat the 12 grapes. They say it brings luck. We watched television where we were hearing beautiful music and we played Spanish card games. I really loved it so much. I love playing games with my family. At 3.30 am my mother and I went home and we stayed in watching some television. We went to bed at 6 am pretty late but doesn’t matter because it’s a special night. I’m glad I didn’t go out because as soon as we were home I got my period haha. On New Year’s Day we just stayed in and chilled. I saw the movie Grease. I just love that movie & the music so much 😍 I also saw the movie Paper Towns which I love so much from John Green. I already saw this movie with my best friend one day and loved it.

l wish you all an amazing new year full of love, happiness and luck 🍀✨✌️ Stay strong & stay safe. We are all in this together 💪 I love you all so so so much ❤️. Thank you all for reading. How was your New Year’s Eve? Did you stay at home or did you went to a party? Which are your goals or dreams to achieve in 2019? I would love to know. I will speak to you all soon in my next blog post.

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Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

My oldest brother got married 🎉👰💑💍💕💃🎶

Hey lovelies 💕,

In this blog post I will tell you all about the wedding of my brother Rafael with his Spanish girlfriend Verónica which was on the 11th of August. The wedding took place in Fuensaldaña. That’s a little village near to Valladolid. It’s just 15 minutes by car. In this post I will tell you all about the wedding, the good and the bad. I also will share some beautiful pictures I’ve made with the mobile of my mother. I still need to wait for the other pictures of Edward and Elke. My other brother has their own company of wedding photography. They make such beautiful pictures. This is their website if you want to look: Azcona Fotografie. I’m going to make another blog post when I have more pictures of them. Maybe, I will do a photo diary of it.

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The night before the wedding (Friday the 10th) Rafael was sleeping in our home with me and my parents. It’s a tradition. Verónica was sleeping at their home with her mother and her brother Jairo. The wedding was in the afternoon Saturday 11th of August. I woke up at 11.00 o’clock and got myself reading to go to the hairdresser which is just 1 min. away from my house. I went to the hairdresser with my mother and my brother Edward was taking pictures of us hahah 😂 Edward and Elke were going to take all the pictures of the wedding. In the meantime, Elke was taking pictures of Verónica in a hairdresser near to her house. It took two hours to get all the curls in my hair. I also got a flower in my hair. My mother took one hour. I never like to be for so long in the hairdresser but I survived lol. Our appointment was at 12.30 and we ended at 2.30. Afterwards, we went home to eat pasta with my parents, Edward and Rafael. Elke was going to eat with the family of Verónica in her home.

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It was a delicious meal. I already painted my nails the day before so I was happy that I didn’t had to do that. After eating I did my make up. I always use make up from Kiko because it’s just one of my favourite brands for make up. I used a pink eyeshadow from another brand and the pink lipstick is from Kiko. Everything had to match with my fuchsia dress 💕. I put on my favourite jewelry: white earrings and the dreamcatcher necklace which I bought in the Primark of Madrid in March. I put on my dress and already felt so warm. It was a hot Summer day with 30 degrees. Edward made pictures of me and he made the most pictures of Rafael when he got ready. He really looked so beautiful.

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My parents got ready too and at 5 o’clock we were ready to leave by car. Rafael was driving his car and we were on our way to the house of Verónica. He was going to see Verónica for the first time in her beautiful wedding dress and then Edward & Elke were going to make pictures of this special moment. First, we went to a florist to put some flowers on his car. Me and my parents stayed in the car when Rafael saw Verónica for the first time in her hall. It was so hoooot inside the car so I was happy when Rafael came back. It was 5.30 and at 6 o’clock the wedding was going to take place. We were on time in Fuensaldaña. The wedding was going to be in the city hall of this village. Rafael opened the door of the car of Verónica. I talked with my Spanish family and friends of them. It was nice to see them all again after such a long time 😍😍😍

I had to enter the room of the city hall with my brother hand in hand. I was nervous for that moment because I hate to be in the middle of attention. It went really well haha despite the moment before that Rafael said that the rings were still in the car. So, a friend of my brother got them and it was all allright. I entered with my brother and then Verónica followed with my niece Noanne, another girl and her brother Jairo. They took pictures of us and the I sat down on the first row. I didn’t wanted to sit in the row in front of me because I find it strange to see the public like I’m not going to marry so I didn’t want all those eyes looking at me. This moment was were some people irritated me and what was a bad moment of the wedding.

After the ceremony a friend of my brother said to me why I didn’t sat next to my parents. I said that I wanted to sit next to Noanne. She kept talking blablabla. I think she founded it strange but fuck off my brother and Verónica already said to me days before the wedding that I could sit where I want. They know I don’t like to get all the attention. Even the mother of Verónica found it strange but I’m not sorry. I do what feels good for me and for my anxiety…. I’m so done of all the time explaining myself why I don’t do a certain thing. I say no more often and do what feels good to me.

The ceremony was really beautiful even though I like a wedding in a church more to be honest because there’s live music and it feels like you are in a movie haha. There were some great songs here but it was not live music. I didn’t sing on this weddding because they didn’t allow that in the city hall. I sang on the wedding of my other brother Edward. This cerenomy was short, just 45 minutes. Victor, the mayor of Fuensaldaña, was the leader of the cerenomy and married them. There were some beautiful speeches: one of my father, one of a friend of Rafael, one of a friend of Verónica, one of a little girl and one of the brother of Verónica. They light some candles, got the rings on, they said: “Yes I do” and then they gave each other a kiss. Edward and Jairo were the witnesses of the wedding and had to sign a paper. There were beautiful petals on the floor. It was simple but really beautiful. Simple is more.

After the ceremony they went to a balcony and all the guests went outside. We took some pictures of that monent. When they came outside we threw them hearts confetti and blew bubbles. It’s also typical to throw rice in Spain. After that moment, Edward and Elke took family pictures with the newlyweds. Then all the guests were just talking with each other outside and the newlyweds were doing a photoshoot by Edward and Elke in the village in the meantime. We had to wait from 7 o’clock till 8.30 to enter the restaurant where we were going to have the delicious dinner. I also took some pictures and one polaroid picture with my mother when everyone went away. At 8.30 we could enter the restaurant and we could have a drink. We sat in the cafe of the restaurant and already got some food: some little delicious tapas. I don’t like the fish so I didn’t eat that haha. I ate some tapas with meat, one with tomato and cheese and an empanada. It was really all so delicious. I also didn’t want to eat so much because dinner was going to be so much food.

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At 9.30 Rafael and Verónica entered the restaurant and we applaused. Then Elke, the wife of Edward came to talk with me and said: “How are you?” and she just wanted to talk and looked in my eyes. I began to cry really hard because I was fed up to appear strong when I felt bad and anxious sometimes. I didn’t want to appear strong when I felt weak. I was fed up of faking that I was happy. I was happy at that special wedding day but also didn’t look forward to all questions about my life…. I told her how I felt lost in life and that I want to live and work in Spain. She said if I want to live with my parents or just be in Spain. I love to be with my parents but I really want to live here forever. My parents are also thinking of maybe selling their home in The Netherlands but it all takes time. It was a great talk and I really loved to talk with her. She’s said that everything will be allright. She’s always so caring and lovely. She really cares about me. Edward my brother saw me crying and Jairo the brother of Verónica too and said awhh you make me cry too. I felt loved and not alone and that was a great feeling. Sometimes it’s so good to let everything out. I felt better aferwards. Sometimes all you need is a good cry.

After that moment, all guests went upstairs to the restaurant and we all had to sit by a certain round table. I was sitting with all people I knew, my parents, Edward, Elke, friends of Rafael and other people. It was really nice. We got three plates and in between we got alcohol. I only tasted a bit of the wine before dinner because I don’t want to drink while taking antidepressants. I also don’t drink alcohol anymore just a few sips hahah 😂 The bread was delicious. The first plate was avocado salad with fish. I didn’t ate the fish😅 After this plate we got a drink which was called sorbete de passión, it was a drink with alcohol and tasted really sweet and well. This drink was to change the flavour in our month. Then we got the big plate which was meat: solomillo with champignons. It was allright but I don’t like to eat so much meat so I didn’t eat everything just enough. I feel full easily. The drink after this plate was champagne but it was really bitter so I only drank a few sips.

I gave all the drank to my mother hahah. During the dinner, Rafael and Verónica came to our table and other tables sometimes to just chat a bit. They were placed in an apart table far away from us. Almost at the end of the dinner I gave the guests a present. The children got sweets and Verónica said I could also get one. It was a pack full of all sweets, chips and delicious stuff. The men got a beer opener in the form of a bike which is typical in The Netherlands. The women got a bookmark in the form of an owl which is the favourite animal of Verónica. She has everything of owls in her home. It was nice to gave these presents to the guests. Afterwards, it was time for the most delicious plate: dessert time. Rafael and Verónica cut the pie. It was a delicious chocolate pie with vanilla ice cream. I really loved it so much. After the dessert we got a chupito which is a shot and I got one of apple without alcohol and tea which was really nice. The dinner began at 10.00 and ended at 00.30.

After dinner we went all to the ballroom which was downstairs to dance all night long. Rafael and Verónica did the first dance which was a salsa dance. My brother takes salsa lessons and can dance very well. Verónica also dances salsa. It was a beautiful dance. After that dance they danced a slow dance. Then all the guests were dancing on Spanish music and I also said to the DJ to put the song “Het is een nacht” on. It’s a dutch song which I like. I also danced like crazy on the song “Lo malo” from Aitana and Ana from the Spanish talentshow Operación Triunfo. I like that so much. Then again the friend of my brother came to me (the same one who said that I had to sit next to my parents in the ceremony) and said why don’t you dance, come on dance with us. I like to dance but I was also tired so leave me alone please. Then, this woman went dancing and left me in peace. I danced till 3 o’clock. Me and my mother were getting tired. Some family of Verónica said don’t go, stay longer. Well, no is no. The party ended for us. A friend of my brother brought us home and I slept at 5 o’clock in the morning. When I got home I had to do my make up away and everything which took a lot of time.

I was supposed to go eating the next day in a hotel near to my house with the family but I didn’t go. I felt anxious and cried that night and was just so tired. I had stomach aches and I said I didn’t go. My father later at home said that I have borderline and I was like no but I didn’t say anything. He didn’t seem to understand that the night before I was happy and dancing at the wedding and on Sunday I felt bad. I know that my feelings are true and I don’t need to give anyone any explanation. If they don’t believe it, they don’t. I don’t have borderline. I think it’s rude to say that as a joke. I just don’t know why people say those things out of the blue. It can hurt someone especially someone who is really going through that. I’m also happy that I didn’t go to that eating the next day after the wedding because my Spanish aunt wasn’t feeling good and felt dizzy. She’s now okay again but all the wedding stuff was so tiring.

Thank you all for reading this loooooong blog post. I hope you all liked it. I just always want to be honest about how I experience something, the good and the bad. Did you like the pictures? Do you also love weddings as much as I do? Do you also feel fed up with giving an explanation to someone? What would you do in such a situation? I would love to know your thoughts. I speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

I bought the perfect fuchsia dress for the wedding of my brother in August 👗😍💞👌

Hey lovelies 💞,

In this blog post I want to share something really special. I already shared on this blog post My brother is getting married! 💑 that my brother Rafael is going to a marry his Spanish girlfriend Veronica. The wedding will be in Fuensaldaña in Spain on the 11th of August. Fuensaldaña is a little village near to my home city Valladolid. I’m so excited for this wedding. Last week I went shopping with my mother and I finally bought the dress for my brother’s wedding.

Me and my mother went to a street which is called Manteria in Valladolid. I never went to this street before. This street has a lot of beautiful fashion boutiques and shops full of wedding dresses. I didn’t like some shops and when I finally went to the shop “Moda Wappa” I was in heaven. I love this shop so much ❤ These dresses were not that expensive like I saw in other shops dresses for €200 or even €300 or even more. In “Moda Wappa” I saw beautiful dresses around €100. I went to the dressroom and I tried many dresses, some with flowers and some not. The most beautiful dress I tried was the dress I bought. First, it was a bit difficult to try but you have to know how to do it hahaha 😂

I bought the beautiful fuchsia dress. I was in love with the first second I tried this beautiful dress on. I love this colour fuchsia so much. This dress is simple with flowers & elegant. This dress perfectly match my personality and is perfect for the Summer time in Spain! 💜🌞 I never bought such a beautiful dress before ❤ This dress was €110 which isn’t even a lot because many of these dresses are way more expensive. I still have to buy some shoes that fits this dress. I don’t want to wear high heels because I really don’t like these shoes. My ex boyfriend always wanted that I wore high heels and even bought me some but now I’m growing into a woman who decide their choices. I feel more comfortable wearing shoes with maybe a little of heel so that I can able to dance and walk normally.

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As soon as I buy these shoes I will go again to the shop “Moda Wappa” because they have to do some adjustments with this dress such as to make it a bit shorter. Now, this dress is a bit too long. This dress is even more beautiful in real life hahah! I never loved a dress so much. This will be my favourite dress which I’ever bought. Let me know what you think of this fuchsia dress 😊 I will talk to you all in my next blog post.

Much love,

xoxo Christina

My brother is getting married! 💑💍👰😍💞

Hey lovely bloggers 💞,

I have some exciting news to share omggg. My oldest brother Rafael (39 years old) is getting married next year in August with his beautiful Spanish girlfriend called Veronica. They know each other because of me hahah. I matched them together. The wedding will be in Spain which is sooooo amazing! 🎉😍💕🌈👰💑💍 

Spanish weddings are really different than the weddings I went in The Netherlands. There are much bigger and more people come. There will be 80 people. In Spain people are catholic and many people marry in a church. Afterwards, all the people who are invited are going to eat together and dance 💃🎶🎤.

My other brother called Edward married a few years ago with Elke when I was in Spain doing my exchange semester. I came back to The Netherlands for the wedding. It was so beautiful and emotional, damn. I cried my eyes out. I even sang at the wedding. I was so anxious but I did it well. I sang the first couplet of When I came down to the river to pray and afterwards we sang all together with a few people. Two years ago Elke got pregnant so I’m a happy aunt! My little niece Noanne is two years old now. I can’t wait to see them again. I didn’t see them now for one year because I was doing my internship in Spain and am living in Spain now. I’m going back to the Netherlands to spend Christmas time with my whole family. I really can’t wait, happy vibes! 🎄💞😍 

Rafael, me, Edward at the wedding of Edward and Elke

Edward, Elke and Noanne live in Geldrop, in the south of The Netherlands near to Eindhoven. Rafael and Veronica went this weekend to visit them. Rafael proposed during a love photoshoot Veronica and gave her the ring. Edward and Elke are wedding photographers and they take beautiful pictures. You can see their website which is called Azcona fotografie. Rafael booked the hotel NH in Eindhoven to spend this weekend there with Veronica after proposing her.

Asdfghjkl I’m so excited for their wedding next year!!!! 👰💑💖 My lovely niece Noanne will also come. She will be three years old by then. I just love weddings so much. It’s just so beautiful to be there on their special day with all the people you love. They are going to marry not in the church but in the beautiful castle of Fuensaldaña, a village near to Valladolid. Valladolid is the place where I’m living and where my mother was born. The castle is sooo beautiful. The ceremony will be there and then afterwards we will eat all together in a restaurant with delicious Spanish food. I hope I will sing again at their wedding, who knows 🎶💃

At the castle of Fuensaldaña with me, my mother, mother of Veronica, Rafael and Veronica

The beautiful castle in Fuensaldaña💞

It’s going to be such a wonderful day. I can’t wait to buy a beautiful dress and go to the hairdresser and all stuff hahaha 😂👗For the wedding of my brother Edward I got a beautiful purple dress from a friend. This time I would love to buy a dress but not too expensive. There are so many shops in Valladolid and I still have plenty of time to look for a beautiful one so no stress hahaha 😂.

I wish my brother and his girlfriend a life full of happiness, love and luck! 🍀 May all your dreams come true. I wish you many more years 💖🌈✌

Much love to you all 💞,

xoxo Christina