February favourites πŸ’žπŸŒž

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I’ve had a hard week last week with all what’s happening in the world right now. The pandemic of the coronavirus hit me hard. I wrote about all of it in this blog post. I felt really bad last week, my anxiety was sky high, cried a lot 😒 but since yesterday I feel a bit better. I feel a bit more hopeful, happier and calmer. Even though we are all suffering right now I find it important to feel all my feelings, the good and the bad ones. It’s okay to feel whatever we are feeling during this though time. I just have that feeling in my heart right now that we all will be well πŸ™. I believe in the good things coming. Bad times don’t last forever. That thought makes me feel more hopeful to get through each day. I also am doing a yoga challenge by Yoga Girl. It’s called #30daysofspace. I’m doing yoga and meditation every day πŸ§˜β€β™€οΈ. If anyone of you want to do this too, you can find the free classes on this website http://www.yogagirl.com.

So, I’ve said what I needed to say before I begin with this blog post. I will share in this blog post my favourites of February. Something positive to share is always fine. Some things aren’t relevant anymore but I will still share them. In this blog post I will share about the tickets we bought to go to Spain πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ, new stationery, presents I got from my friend and the walks I took in the park with my mother.

Things I did with my lovely family πŸ‘ͺ:

Bought fly tickets to Spain πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈβœˆοΈ

My daddy bought fly tickets for my mother and I to go on the first of April and at the end of June. Unfortunately, we can’t go on the first of April because of the virus 😭. Spain is also on a lockdown and no flights are going. Fortunately, we could changed the tickets to go at the end of May. I hope that will be possible. Otherwise we still have tickets to go at the end of June till September. We do really hope to just enjoy Summer time and that this is all over soon. I love Spain so much. I miss it. My daddy also is going in August. Let’s hope it’s possible. It would be also otherwise a waste of money.

Drinking hot chocolate with pie at the Hema β˜•πŸ˜‹

I love the Dutch shop Hema so much. I went there some days with my mother in February. We drank a delicious mint tea, hot chocolate together with a delicious piece of pie. I ate one time a pie of chocolate and my mother had one of apple. It was all SO yummy! 😍

Walks in the park 🌳🌞

I love to live near to a park. I love to take walks in the park. There were some sunny days so we enjoyed it even though it’s still cold. After the walk we loved to drink a hot chocolate and some tea at the restaurant. It’s all closed now because of the virus. I feel grateful to have had these moments. I’m sure they will come again in the future.

Valentine’s Day πŸ’˜

I was super sick on Valentine’s Day. I had to vomit many times and had diarrhea. I love that my parents always care so good about me. My mother bought a yellow/orange rose for my daddy and a card. For me she bought a cute stuffed animal and a card. It made this day much better. I really do think that this day is not only a day for couples but also a day to celebrate with your friends and family. It’s about celebrating every form of love πŸ’–.

Stationery shopping at the mall πŸ›’

I bought a pack of ojo cute animals stickers and emoji stickers. I love to use emojis so much. If I don’t use them I find it boring or sad haha πŸ˜‚. Furthermore, I bought hangtag stickers with a wildlife and spring theme. They also have some cute quotes on them. Lastly, I bought finelines in the colours of red, blank and blue, universe washi tape, 50 envelopes and glue. You never have enough stationery haha!!

Easter theme stationery 🐰🐣

I also bought some beautiful new stationery with an Easter theme in Action, my favourite shop here. I bought loads of stickers with an Easter and Spring theme. The foam stickers have cute bunnies, chickens and sheeps on them. The Easter sticker sheets include 190 stickers. They are all so colourful. I love them all so much.

Watching The Red Turtle & The Little Mermaid πŸ’πŸ§œβ€β™€οΈ

I watched some nice movies with my parents. I watched The Red Turtle which is a movie directed by Michael Dudok de Wit. It’s produced by Studio Ghibli. It’s a kinda strange movie but I loved it. It’s beautiful made. Not much is happening in the movie but it’s very calming to watch it. I also watched The Little Mermaid with my mother. It’s really bad I hadn’t watch it before. I need to catch up on many Disney movies! I love this movie so much and I also have a shirt of it. I’m a mermaid forever πŸ§œβ€β™€οΈπŸŒŠ. I loved the music in this movie and the underwater world so much. It’s so beautiful.

Things I did with my friends πŸ’•:

Tickets for Eurovision Song Contest 2020 🎟️🎢

I could have not placed this now on my favourites because it’s cancelled but I still was happy about it. I also think that the tickets are valid for next year too. I bought tickets for the family show because the liveshows were much more expensive. I can’t wait to go next year with my friend! Eurovision is one of my favourite events in the year and seeing the Netherlands winning last year was one of my most beautiful days in life. Duncan made history. It has been 44 years since The Netherlands didn’t won.

Presents from my friend 🎁

My dear friend Shame came to my house at the end of January and we also ate some delicious tapas. I still didn’t share the presents I got from her for my birthday last year and Valentine’s Day this year. She got me a beautiful mug with a picture of us this Valentine’s Day. I loved it!!! I also got a beautiful Christmas card, birthday card, foaming shower gel from Rituals and Dove products such as shower oil and body lotion. It smells so well and makes my skin so soft. I also got some violet nail polish which is my fav colour πŸ’…πŸ’œ. I’m so thankful for these presents and for our friendship. Friends forevah! πŸ˜πŸ™

Other amazing things of February ✨:

Yoga with Adriene at home πŸ§˜β€β™€οΈ

I’m doing a lot of yoga and meditation right now at home. It helps me so much to stay grounded and more calm. I love Yoga with Adriene. You can find her videos on Youtube. I love the yoga mat I got from my brother and his wife for Sinterklaas last year. I’m using it every day now. I love the videos of calming my anxiety, releasing back pain and shoulder pain. Adriene is so amazing, love her!

Buying stationery online at Etsy πŸ›οΈ

So I love to support small businesses because it’s so important. They have much more cute and amazing stuff. They are mostly handmade. I bought beautiful colourful and floral 🌼 print envelopes from the shop AmethystCardsShop from France. They are so beautiful. I’m really happy about them. I also bought beautiful writing paper with animals on it such as panda’s 🐼, cats 🐱 and foxes 🦊. This writing paper is from the shop MikuCatDesigns from Spain. I really like it. It’s too beautiful to use it haha.

New serie Luimelia πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ

There’s a new amazing Spanish serie which is called Luimelia. I already love the Spanish serie Amar es para siempre (love is forever). Amelia and Luisita are already being actresses in this serie. They are representing a lesbian couple in the 70s in Spain. I love them so much. They are so beautiful 😍🌈. The spinoff of Luimelia is amazing as it shows their relationship nowadays. The serie also includes the theme of feminism, the lgbt+ community and social media. The episodes only last 10 minutes and there are 6 of them. It’s really nice. I loved it. They already announced a second and third season.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. What was your favourite thing from my list? Do you love my new stationery? Which Disney movie is your favourite? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Coronavirus: Is this a wake up call for the world?! πŸŒ

Hola lovelies πŸ’•,

I know all we can talk about now in the world is the coronavirus (Covid-19). I wanted to post a blog post about some happy stuff such as some book reviews but I really need to talk about this. I have to describe my feelings and thoughts on it as I always do with important topics such as mental health, feminism, injustice in the world and other topics. I need to let my thoughts go and write it down here or I will feel that I explode πŸ˜₯. My mind is so full these days. I’m not doing okay.

So, I can’t sleep well anymore. I feel so bad and anxious. I’m crying every day 😒. I don’t know how to cope. I have cramps in my stomach. It’s in times I didn’t felt so bad. This virus only increased my anxiety. How can I feel less anxious when the situation is getting worse every day and people are dying? I feel hopeless. There’s an outbreak of a pandemic in the world right now. The coronavirus feels like the flu but it’s worse because you have fever, cough and it effects your lungs. It all began in China in December. They eat a lot of strange food there such as living animals such as cats, dogs and whatever. My daddy said that the virus comes from bats. I’m of course not a doctor and don’t know much about viruses but all we know is that it’s spreading to every country. If I’m affected I could infect three other people.

I have sometimes health anxiety so I’m also a bit worried to get this virus to be honest. I think it’s normal that we are worried because our health is the most important thing in life. What I’m also worried about is the people who are vulnerable and the elderly people. My father for example has diabetics so it could be dangerous for him. What I don’t like about what’s happening now is that many people especially young people think oh only the old people die or the sick ones. That’s being so EGOISTIC. Writing this I feel tears in my eyes coming because I CARE. I care sometimes way too much about people, this earth and everyone because of being a highly sensitive person and also suffering from anxiety. I care about someone dying being 75 years old of coronavirus even though I don’t know that person. It could be your father, daughter, grandmother. Every one deserves a good life and deserves to live and be treaten well πŸ’–πŸ™.

Everything is cancelled right now 🚫. In The Netherlands there are no concerts, theater, cinema, sport events happening anymore and all schools are closed. I’m worried about that Eurovision in May will be cancelled too. I hope to go another day. I was so happy when this year began because of this event and good stuff. I’m worried about my friends in Italy being locked down. Spain has now declared an emergency state. I’m worried about my family and friends there. They only can leave the house for meds, work or to go to the supermarket. My mother and I are supposed to go in two weeks but that isn’t possible anymore. Tonight they closed the borders. It makes me sad to not be able to go as we never experienced this. None of us does. It feels lik a movie but it’s happening and it’s real. Scary stuff 😒. I just hope we can enjoy Summer time 🌞 in Spain because otherwise I will get so depressed and anxious. I don’t like Summer in The Netherlands because the sun doesn’t shine that much. I’m just always so happy in Spain. Holy week in Spain is cancelled too. I would have to go to the dentist in Spain too but right now it isn’t an emegerncy as I have no pain.

I’m a highly sensitive person, an empath and suffer from anxiety. This is maybe not the best combination in the midst of the Coronavirus. I care always so much about others and everything that it all affects me emotionally. I suffer more but I also love more. I’m here for all the ones in need. You can always talk to me. We are not alone πŸ’ͺ We are all in this together.

I just got inspired to write this post too because of Melissa Wells. Maybe everything what’s happening now is a wake up call for the damn world. Care about the elderly. Help people in need. Think of the ones working in the hospital sector and supermarkts. I’m seeing also very good deeds this week such as people donating blood in Spain for the people who need it. Doctors from China are helping Italy and Spain with medical products. The supermarkets are almost empty here and also in the rest of the world. I don’t find that at all funny. Maybe this pandemic virus is a wake up call for the world like that we have to be more compassionate, less egostic and think of others. Don’t buy so much stuff in the supermarkets because then someone else can’t buy toilet paper or hand gel or food. Think more of others than of yourself.

All people think of nowadays is me, myself and I. It’s the wrong way. We are all human and we all long for the same things such as food security, love, safety and being healthy. I also feel that this lack of control and uncertainty is making me more anxious. All governments and society thinks about is money and power. I’m a hippie by heart and just never feel like I approve with the society we are living in. Maybe more people feel that way.

Citizens have to be responsible for their actions too. In Italy and Spain they aren’t allowed to go outside or have fun with friends in some bar. Take these measures seriously. Many young people can’t die from it, but if you do get infected you can make others infected like people who are in a vulnerable state or older people. Your actions could be the death of someone else. Buy responsibly πŸ›’. My mother wanted to buy paracetamol today and saw everyone being greedy and getting them. That isn’t the way to handle things in life. I saw a picture where Italy has almost no pollution in the air and is clear. You see, we can fight climate change all together πŸ’ͺπŸ€—. I saw people donating loads of blood in Spain. Good things happen every day. We can all make a change in this world.

I will stay mostly at home now. It’s time to slow down. It’s time to help others and not think of me, myself and I. Let’s be compassionate, solidair and less egoistic. Follow the health instructions. Don’t buy everything you see in the supermarkets because then there will be nothing left for others. We have to be all strong together and help each other. We are all in this together. I’m also anxious right now but I hope this situation will be solved as long as we take all measures seriously. Wash your hands well and focus less on social media. I also have to watch less news as that only increase my anxiety and doesn’t solve anything. We will see what will happening the coming days. Stay safe at home 🏑, read books πŸ“š, blog, watch series and movies 🎬, or listen to podcasts. There are so many nice things to do at home. We don’t always have to be outside to have fun.

It’s time that countries work together with each other to combate this pandemic of Coronavirus. We are all together in this. 2020 is the year that will change our view of the world because of this health crisis. We will make it out stronger and hopefully we will learn to be more responsible for this earth and for all its people πŸŒπŸ’•.

At the end, everything will be allright. Take care, stay safe and love because that will never be cancelled πŸ’–πŸ’‹πŸ€—βœ¨I’m here for you all. I love you all so much!

Thank you all for reading this important blog post. I hope it didn’t sound depressing. I just wanted to share the good and the bad like always. How do you feel about the Coronavirus? Are you anxious? How’s it in your country? What do you do to calm yourself down? I really need some support right now. Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

International Women’s Day 2020 πŸ’ͺβ™€οΈπŸ’œ

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I always find it so important to talk about women’s rights especially today. Today it’s International Women’s Day πŸ’œβ™€οΈ. Every day is women’s day but I find today just an important day to talk about feminism and women’s rights. I love to write poetry about this topic. I love to read about it. I love to speak up about it because we have the right to speak up. I will also share at the end a poem, a picture and a cover 🎢 I made for this subject. I will not say happy International Women’s Day because how can we be happy when there are still so many women suffering in this world? How can we be happy when we are still afraid walking at night? How can we be happy when we are always afraid of something happening to us? There still needs a lot to be done to have equal rights between men and women.

There’s still no equality between men and women in this world. We have to raise our voice and talk about it. Men still earn in many places more than women. Men still consider women as objects. Men still keep catcalling women on the street. Rape, sexual abuse and violence against women exists. It still happens. It happens in The Netherlands, in Spain and anywhere else in the world. It has nothing to do with undeveloped or developed countries. This is an issue which effects the whole world 🌍. I wish we wouldn’t live in a patriarchal world. To be honest, I’m sick of it. Women can be bosses too. We don’t need men to feel satisfied or be happy in life.

I have always been a feminist and also will be a feminst forever πŸ’œβ™€οΈπŸ”₯. Women and men deserve the same human rights. It’s that simple. Some men always think that if you are a feminist, you hate men. That isn’t the case at all. Of course, men can be a feminst too because this isn’t just about women, it’s also about men. We don’t want to have the power over men. We just want GENDER EQUALITY.

Girl support girls always

I have to admit that I still have a wall around me because of my ex. It’s been 7 years since the break up πŸ’”. I dated some guys sometimes but just short and nothing serious. I’m afraid to get hurt again. I liked guys which just wanted me because they wanted sex from me and I don’t want that. They saw me as an object and even one time one said that they thought I was sexual attractive. I was like fuck off πŸ‘†. You see, I’m fed up with these kind of comments. I want to be seen as a women for my qualities which means being sensitive, romantic, creative, compassionate and for being intelligent and having a good heart. When I see a man or get to know one I think of these qualities of that person whereas men always focus on our physically.

To be honest, I don’t blame men for those behaviours because they can be changed. Those are not great comments of course. Those behaviours are thought from an early age. Boys and girls are grown up differently. Boys have to be strong and like men stuff like cars 🚘 and football and girls are grown up having to be like a princess πŸ‘Έ, being sweet and sensitive and loving all cute and pink stuff. It’s the wrong way to have grown up. The moment a child doesn’t feel like fitting in, he or she fall outside the box in our society. So, I definitely think these male-dominated behaviours of catcalling and seeing women as an object comes from an early age.

I really do think we have to raise boys and girls the same way. Tell them it’s okay to be and like who they want to like. Tell the boys it’s okay to cry. Tell the girls it’s okay to be a warrior. This will also cause less mental health problems in the future. There are more men who die by suicide then women because they feel they can’t express their emotions and don’t have the right to cry and talk about their feelings.

As you can see, there is still a lot to do with achieving real equality between men and women. I’m a feminist by heart and I find it important to raise awareness about equality always. Therefor I made a poem πŸ“ for this day and this poem relates to the picture where you can see me with tape on my mouth. I made this picture a few years ago for an assignment for school. It was for my minor of photography. We had to show a contrast with two pictures. I had chosen the topic of freedom. This picture is the opposite of how I’m able to live my life. This picture relates to my poem below.

Picture of myself showing how some women can't speak up

𝑰 π’‚π’Ž 𝒂 π’˜π’π’Žπ’‚π’.
𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝑰 π’ˆπ’†π’• π’‘π’–π’π’Šπ’”π’‰π’†π’….
𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 π’˜π’†π’‚π’“ π’˜π’‰π’‚π’• 𝑰 π’˜π’‚π’π’•.
𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 𝒃𝒆 π’˜π’‰π’ 𝑰 π’˜π’‚π’π’• 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆.
𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 π’ˆπ’ π’”π’π’Žπ’†π’˜π’‰π’†π’“π’† 𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒆.
𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 π’…π’“π’Šπ’—π’†.
𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 π’˜π’π’“π’Œ π’π’–π’•π’”π’Šπ’…π’† 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆.
𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 π’Žπ’‚π’“π’“π’š π’”π’π’Žπ’†π’π’π’† 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 π’Žπ’†π’• 𝒐𝒓 𝒂 π’‡π’‚π’Žπ’Šπ’π’š π’Žπ’†π’Žπ’ƒπ’†π’“.
𝑰𝒇 𝑰’π’Ž π’π’–π’„π’Œπ’š 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 π’Žπ’‚π’šπ’ƒπ’† π’Žπ’‚π’“π’“π’š π’”π’π’Žπ’†π’π’π’† π’˜π’‰π’†π’ 𝑰’π’Ž 20 π’šπ’†π’‚π’“π’” 𝒐𝒍𝒅.
π‘΄π’š π’‡π’“π’Šπ’†π’π’…π’” 𝒂𝒓𝒆 π’‚π’π’“π’†π’‚π’…π’š π’Žπ’‚π’“π’“π’Šπ’†π’… 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 π’•π’‰π’†π’Ž π’ƒπ’†π’Šπ’π’ˆ π’Œπ’Šπ’…π’”.
π‘΄π’‚π’“π’“π’šπ’Šπ’π’ˆ π’ƒπ’†π’Šπ’π’ˆ 𝒂 π’„π’‰π’Šπ’π’… π’Šπ’” 𝒔𝒐 π’π’π’“π’Žπ’‚π’ 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆.
𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 π’”π’‘π’†π’‚π’Œ 𝒖𝒑.
𝑰’π’Ž π’”π’Šπ’π’†π’π’„π’†π’….
𝑴𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 π’‘π’π’˜π’†π’“ 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒖𝒔.
π‘»π’‰π’Šπ’” π’Šπ’” π’Žπ’š π’π’Šπ’‡π’†.

π‘»π’‰π’Šπ’” π’Šπ’” 𝒕𝒉𝒆 π’”π’•π’π’“π’š 𝒐𝒇 π’˜π’π’Žπ’†π’ π’π’Šπ’—π’Šπ’π’ˆ π’Šπ’ π’Žπ’‚π’π’š 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒅 π’„π’π’–π’π’•π’“π’Šπ’†π’” 𝒐𝒇 𝒐𝒖𝒓 π’˜π’π’“π’π’….
𝑰𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒑 π’„π’π’–π’π’•π’“π’Šπ’†π’” 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆’𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒔𝒐 π’”π’•π’Šπ’π’ 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝒐𝒇 π’Šπ’Žπ’‘π’“π’π’—π’†π’Žπ’†π’π’• 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐 π’˜π’Šπ’•π’‰ π’˜π’π’Žπ’†π’’𝒔 π’“π’Šπ’ˆπ’‰π’•π’”.
𝑾𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 π’†π’™π’•π’“π’†π’Žπ’†π’π’š π’‘π’“π’Šπ’—π’Šπ’π’†π’ˆπ’†π’… 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 π’Œπ’π’π’˜ 𝒕𝒐 π’‡π’Šπ’ˆπ’‰π’• 𝒇𝒐𝒓 π’˜π’π’Žπ’†π’’𝒔 π’“π’Šπ’ˆπ’‰π’• 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 π’˜π’π’“π’π’….
𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 π’˜π’† π’”π’‘π’†π’‚π’Œ 𝒖𝒑, π’˜π’† 𝒅𝒐 π’Šπ’• 𝒂𝒍𝒍 π’•π’π’ˆπ’†π’•π’‰π’†π’“ πŸ’ͺ
𝑾𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 π’‚π’π’˜π’‚π’šπ’” π’Šπ’ π’•π’‰π’Šπ’” π’•π’π’ˆπ’†π’•π’‰π’†π’“.
π‘Ύπ’π’Žπ’†π’’𝒔 π’“π’Šπ’ˆπ’‰π’•π’” 𝒂𝒓𝒆 π’‰π’–π’Žπ’‚π’ π’“π’Šπ’ˆπ’‰π’•π’” 𝒂𝒏𝒅 π’π’π’ƒπ’π’…π’š 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒐𝒓 π’˜π’Šπ’π’ 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 π’•π’‚π’Œπ’† 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 π’‚π’˜π’‚π’š 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒖𝒔.
𝑨𝒍𝒍 π’˜π’π’Žπ’†π’ 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 π’π’Šπ’—π’† 𝒂 π’π’Šπ’‡π’† π’Šπ’ π’‡π’“π’†π’†π’…π’π’Ž.
𝑾𝒆 π’„π’‰π’‚π’π’ˆπ’† 𝒕𝒉𝒆 π’˜π’π’“π’π’… π’†π’—π’†π’“π’šπ’…π’‚π’š! 𝒀𝒆𝒔 π’˜π’† 𝒄𝒂𝒏 πŸ’œπŸ’œ

Besides, I also made this cover of the song La puerta violeta πŸ’œπŸŽΆ from rozalen. It’s such a beautiful Spanish song. Rozalen is such an amazing Spanish artist! This song is about violence against women and about freedom. She sings about drawing a violet door on the wall, running in the forest and being free and safe. It’s a song dedicated for the violence against women around the world.

I shared the cover on my instagram which you can find below.

View this post on Instagram

International Women's Day πŸ’ͺπŸ’œ . Yesterday it was International Women's Day πŸ’œπŸ’ͺ♀️It's been a long time since I shared a cover from a song 🎢. I made this cover of the song La puerta violeta from @rozalenmusic. It's such a beautiful Spanish song. Rozalen is amazing! This song is about violence against women and about freedom. She sings about drawing a violet door, running in the forest and being free and safe. 𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒐 π’…π’Šπ’ƒπ’–π’‹Γ© 𝒖𝒏𝒂 𝒑𝒖𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂 π’—π’Šπ’π’π’†π’•π’‚ 𝒆𝒏 𝒍𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒀 𝒂𝒍 𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒓 π’Žπ’† π’π’Šπ’ƒπ’†π’“Γ© π‘ͺπ’π’Žπ’ 𝒔𝒆 π’…π’†π’”π’‘π’π’Šπ’†π’ˆπ’‚ 𝒍𝒂 𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒂 𝒅𝒆 𝒖𝒏 𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒐 𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒕é 𝒆𝒏 𝒖𝒏 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒐 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒅𝒆 π’Žπ’–π’š 𝒍𝒆𝒋𝒐𝒔 𝒅𝒆 𝒂𝒒𝒖í π‘ͺ𝒐𝒓𝒓í, π’ˆπ’“π’Šπ’•Γ©, 𝒓𝒆í 𝑺é 𝒍𝒐 𝒒𝒖𝒆 𝒏𝒐 π’’π’–π’Šπ’†π’“π’ 𝑨𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒂 π’†π’”π’•π’π’š 𝒂 𝒔𝒂𝒍𝒗𝒐 I hope you all liked this song and we can change the world little by little. Women and men are equal. We all deserve the same human rights. Let's all stand together to make this happen and take action. Yes we can do it! πŸ’ͺπŸ’œπŸ’œ

A post shared by Sea of words 🌊 (@seaofwordsblog) on

I hope you all liked the poem and the song. It’s just so important to speak up for the ones who can’t speak up. We have to do it all together πŸ’ͺπŸ’–. We are all making a change every day by changing our thoughts and behaviour. We are all equal. Nobody is better. We are all human and deserve to be treated that way.

Thank you all for reading this important blog post about international women’s day, equality, human rights and feminism. I hope you all liked it and that it inspired you. Are you also a feminist? What do you think of equality? What do you think needs to change to achieve gender equality in the world? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Just be yourself poem πŸŒΈ

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I would like to share a poem I made a few days ago about being myself and I also shared it online. It’s been a long time since I shared a poem on here. I love to express myself with writing. I will show a picture of me with this poem I made. I had a nice photoshoot one day in Spain. This picture is already 6 years old haha but sssht 🀫 I still look the same πŸ˜‚πŸ€­.

Picture of myself in Spain

I am sensitive.

I am caring.

I am beautiful.

I am creative.

I am inspiring.

I am strong.

I am lovable.

I am enough.

I am loved.

I am empathetic.

I am vulnerable.

I am honest.

I am open-minded.

I am intelligent.

I am sweet.

I am romantic.

I can be all of them.

I don’t have to choose between one of them.

Being human means being all of those things.

That’s the power of being human.

To be who you want to be without having to choose.

Being ourselves and loving ourselves unconditionally.

We are all human and matter.

Be yourself and love yourself.

Just be you.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope this poem inspired you to be just yourself with all your qualities and flaws. You are beautiful just the way you are πŸ’–. What do you think of my poem? What makes you you? Do you think it’s difficult to be yourself in our society? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

I faced my fear of going to the dentist for my wisdom teeth removal πŸ’ͺ🦷

Hola lovelies πŸ’ž,

This blog post is going to be so important for me because I have had this fear for three years almost and kept postponing it. This blog post is about my wisdom teeth removal which happened today 🦷. While my mother is sleeping and I’m resting in bad I’m writing this blog post. I’m also crying because I feel so relieved. I’m so proud of myself.

So today I faced one of my biggest fears in life which is going to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth out 🦷. One of them is out now. Still three to go but at least this is done. Gotta love Spanish dentists who understand my anxiety and who are just so lovely. Also never mind my face is big because of the anesthesia. You can see that on the picture below. I basically had no choice to go today because I don’t want anyone forcing me in Holland. It’s more expensive there and they also do it in the hospital. I find hospitals even more scary 😒. It reminds me when my dad was there and almost died.

I got a trauma from going to the dentist for a root canal treatment in The Netherlands because I got called childish and 15 years old. That resulted in me having a panic attack. That’s not a good way to treat your patients. I know they are not all like that but that experience just made me soooo anxious. There are good and bad dentists and doctors everywhere. You just have to find the right one. Finding one you can trust is so important πŸ’–πŸ€ž It really makes you more calm which is exactly what I need. That’s the most important thing.

I was so anxious the past days. I couldn’t sleep well last night and kept feeling anxious and nauseous. Today I woke up crying and really didn’t want to go but I know I had to. It’s bad when a fear is keeping you from living your life for so long. It’s been three years and it’s a miracle that I didn’t have any infections just yet. My mother said today that they changed the appointment to 4 o’clock in the afternoon instead of 7 o’clock in the afternoon. In fact it was much better because I always wake up so late so it would make me have less time worrying, crying and being anxious. I almost didn’t eat because I didn’t want to vomit because of anxiety. I drank water, some cookies and that’s it. I also took half of Valium πŸ’Š.

I’m SO happy I went here in Spain. They are understanding and know how to deal with people who have anxiety. I took anti anxiety meds before. When I arrived at the clinic today they gave me a tila which is a Spanish tea to calm you down 🍡. I was like wow what a service thank you so much. Then they said the dentist wasn’t still there haha he was eating, lol typical Spanish times πŸ˜‚ Then it was time for me to do it. I almost didn’t felt the anesthesia. I remember from Holland that I felt it. They also give me something to squeeze haha a little shark 🦈 . They calmed me down with some breathing exercises like breathing slowly. This definitely helps so much. I tasted something like pepermint which was nice. I closed my eyes too which was better they said. It was the dentist and a woman who helped him. They were both so friendly.

Then they said I would feel like a bee 🐝 was pricking me but I almost felt nothing. That was done and then the dentist took the teeth away. My head was going left lol so I had to change my position and said sorry they were like no it’s okay. I’m always so used to say sorry for everything. I didn’t feel anything only that it took some strength to get that fucking wisdom teeth gone πŸ˜‚ That teeth was being mean haha but at the end the dentist won yeahhhh πŸ’ͺ🀣 Lucky man πŸ€ I saw it and he told me if I want to bring it home lol I said no way. Some people want to save it.

I didn’t even noticed the anesthesia at all. It was so smoothly all. In less than 15 minutes it was all down. I didn’t want that 🦷 teeth so they threw it away 🀣. I told them I love them very much and they said the same to me 😍😭. They said I was being really brave. Those words meant so much I could cry there. The dentist is also very handsome haha. That’s just a big plus πŸ’–. I’m not falling in love or am I lol cray cray πŸ˜‚. I would love to meet one day someone who would love me the way my dentist treated me today. I just want people in my life who treat me with kindness, compassion and understanding. I don’t ask for much more.

I have to go again next week to know if everything is okay and to know that I have no infections. I know it isn’t fun going to the dentist but maybe this experience will somehow also make me overcome this fear of the dentist. I feel like this is a learning like Yoga Girl would say. This is much more than just a wisdom teeth removal. This experience made me believe again in the good in people. I think in some way the universe is giving me all these experiences with good people to cover up all the bad experiences in the past like being bullied and having a broken heart.

Now, I got prescribed antibiotics, ibuprofen for pain and another medicine for darmflora because antibiotics can also have some side effects. I hope I won’t have too much pain and these meds will help πŸ™. I’m not a person who takes a lot of antibiotics. In The Netherlands they would not give you antibiotics. I also thought it’s strange to take that before I have an infection but it’s better. The health care system in Spain is really good and I love their professionality. I also love that it feels like you are talking with a friend lol πŸ˜‚πŸ’– I wouldn’t say in Holland that I love them so much. There you give the doctors a hand. Here my mother gave him two kisses wishing them happy new year πŸ˜‚πŸŽ‰. I think that also helps to decrease anxiety. I don’t like people being so serious. Life is already hard enough. We need more fun and laughs.

I don’t have to spit for a day and the meds I should take

Maybe this isn’t a big deal for some people but for me it is. I want to be real about my struggles in life online and in real life. I have been with this fear for so many years that I really feel a weight is off my shoulders. I know I’m not done with it but at least one 🦷 is out byebye. I still have to get rid of three. Little by little they will be gone. This definitely increased my confidence. I’m so proud of myself. Anxiety didn’t win today. I won today πŸ’ͺ I called my daddy and he was really happy I went. I know my family wants best for us. He doesn’t want that I have an infection. Everything is well. I know my anxiety tells me so many stuff which isn’t true. At the end, this fear was worse than the thing itself. It’s always the same but that’s anxiety. I thought even that I was going to die or have a panic attack but nothing happened.

I’m thankful that there exists people who are human, understanding and have compassion because that’s really what this world needs 🌍. We need more kind people. Kindness is never a weakness but a strength. I’m not afraid anymore to show my sensitivity because it’s makes me human. I know that there always will be good people πŸ’–πŸ’–

I’m also so thankful for all the people who have always been there for me, my good friends, my family, all the people I met online like my lovely bloggers, pen pals, people from The Yoga Girl Community and The Goddess community. I couldn’t have done this without all of you. Thank you for your endless support. We can achieve anything we want with the help of others. We are never alone πŸ’– I’m so blessed to have you all in my life. We are all in this together πŸ’ͺ

Thank you all for reading this blog post. Do you also have a fear which you keep postponing? Do you also had to get rid of a wisdom teeth? What do think of my story? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all soon in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Sinterklaas haul yeahhh πŸŽ‰πŸŽπŸ˜πŸ’ž

Hola lovelies πŸ’•,

Today I will share with you all a nice Sinterklaas haul 🎁. We celebrated Sinterklaas last Friday at my brother’s appartment with the family. It’s a typical Dutch celebration. I always am looking so forward to this celebration all year long πŸŽ‰. The official day of the celebration is the 5th of December but we celebrated it on the 6th. They say that Sinterklaas is a saint which comes from Spain πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ in a boat. If you have been a good child you would get presents. If not, they would make pepernoten of you which are some Dutch sweets and you would be put into the zak van Sinterklaas which goes to Spain hahaha. Some people make surprises on this day, hide presents and make poems. Our family just buys presents for each one of us. I’m excited to share with you all the amazing stuff which I got this year.

A yoga mat!!! πŸ§˜β€β™€οΈ

Finally, I got a yoga mat πŸ™βœ¨. I’m so happy with it. I really hope to use it much at home. I love to practise yoga with Adrienne on Youtube. I have to do it more. I only took some lessons in my life and I really want to go to some lessons when I have more money. The yoga mat is pink and from a real Yoga brand. I don’t know which one because my brother and his wife didn’t told me hahah. It was a nice surprise. It was put into a big box of Samsung and my brother wrote Samsung unstoppable as it’s that slogan. I really do love this yoga mat as it’s beautiful so I really need to get myself on the mat now. My biggest inspiration alive is Yoga Girl 😍 and I love the Yoga Community. I hope to be able to go to one of her lessons and also go on a retreat in Aruba πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ό one day. This is already the first step in making my dream come true. Now, I want to practise it more and become better in it. It could also help me with my back pain and it’s so good for your mental health too. It would make me feel more calm like meditation also does.

Flow magazines πŸ“š

In the box where the yoga mat was in there were also 5 Flow magazines. I love the Dutch and Belgian Flow magazine. It’s so creative and inspiring. I love the quotes and the stories written. You can find stories of mental health, how to live a simple life, tips to increase happiness and many other inspiring stories. It’s about letting life flow without any hurry and staying in the present moment. With the magazine also come free goodies such as a laptop sticker, notebook, quotes, little cards, stationery. I love that so much.

Flow tear-off calendar πŸ—“οΈ

I love those kinds of calendars so much. I always have one in my room. This year I had one of The Bucketlist with quotes and things to do. This year I have again one from Flow 🌸. It isn’t only a magazine, they sell lots of stationery and other things too like this amazing calender. I love the quote on it “It is all about finding calm in the chaos”. This year it comes full of inspiring quotes, advice, photography, life lessons, insights, tips and pages about mental health, psychology and lifestyle. It’s great to begin the day with reading something inspiring ✨.

Flow book for paper lovers 🌸😍

THIS IS DEFINITELY ONE OF MY FAV PRESENTS EVAH!!! 😍 This book from Flow is so amazing and really heaven for any stationery lover. It cointains beautiful writing paper, stickers, quotes, cards, posters and even wrapping paper for presents. I already have one at home but this is the seventh edition which contains much more beautiful and amazing stationery.

Christmas tree pen πŸŽ„πŸ–‹οΈ

This is a beautiful Christmas tree pen I got. It even has some things on it like little bells haha πŸŽ…. It’s really cute! Maybe it’s a bit difficult to write with it but it could be a nice decoration too.

Advent candle πŸ•―οΈ

I got a beautiful hearts advent candle. I love it so much. Anything with hearts is always a must have! I’m the queen of hearts and have loads of stuff in my room with hearts. Yes, I’m that romantic and sensitive girl. The only bad thing is that we use electronic candles at home because my parents are afraid to use real candles ✨. I still hope to use this one one day hahah πŸ˜‚.

Chocolate advent calendar πŸ—“οΈπŸ«

I love to have a chocolate advent calendar 😍. I can’t begin December without one. I have now two because my daddy also got me one when I came back from Spain. That one is a bit messed up because the chocolates got messed up but well now I can eat even more chocolate every day. I have to be careful I don’t get sick of too much chocolate.

Chocolate heaven 🍫🍫🍫

I got so much delicious chocolate. I love it so much. It’s typical to get letters of chocolate. I have got money out of chocolate, two chocolate letters with the letter C (one is with white chocolate with sea salt and the other one with milk), a white chocolate of Sinterklaas, spice nuts also called kruidnoten in The Netherlands with milk chocolate and white chocolats. I also got milk chocolate pralines in a beautiful package. Lastly but not least, I got a delicious marzipan with chocolate. I think I have enough chocolate now haha. Chocolate is just the best and a girl’s best friend β€οΈπŸ‘Œ.

Pickwick Joy of tea – Green tropical πŸ΅πŸ’ž

Of course, I got tea as I love to drink tea so much. I love to drink Yogi tea which always comes with a quote. I like to try different teas πŸ’–. This one is from Pickwick and it’s green tropical. It contains ginger, pineapple, coconut and lemon. I think this will be a delicious one.

Christmas socks πŸŽ„

I love these Christmas socks from Primark so much. One pair is with a reindeer on it with little balls and the other one has Christmas balls and rings on it. I love them and I’m sure they are also very cozy.

A mug to paint 🎨

In Spain I have another mug that I still need to paint. Now, I got another mug to paint πŸ’–. This one is a beautiful swan 🦒. I love to be creative so this would be a nice thing to do as I’ve never done this before. When the painting is finished you have to let it dry in the microwave. I hope it doesn’t explode lol πŸ˜‚.

Squeeze animal 😍

This is the squeeze animal I lost in Granada this Summer. I had it in my bed in the hotel but the cleaners threw it away without knowing. It made me really sad. I’m happy to have got the same one back. It’s so cute and it’s good to squeeze it when I’m stressed. It makes me feel more calm πŸ’œ.

Beauty products πŸ’–πŸšΏ

I got a pink Batiste Dry Shampoo which is the one of Blush – floral and flirty haha. I love it but I also have to use it a bit less because otherwise my hair feels sometimes a bit dry. It’s good for my bangs as that easily gets oily which I don’t like. I also got a Vogue Girl Deodorant. I love the cats one 😻. It smells so good.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you liked my Sinterklaas haul. Which present was your favourite of mine list? Did you love the stationery I got? What’s on your Christmas list this year? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

November favourites πŸ’–πŸ΄

Hola lovelies πŸ’•,

I’m happy that my November month turned positive because in the middle of November I felt so depressed, low and anxious in Spain 😒. I know it’s because I associate Spain now with going to the dentist which increase my anxiety. I just don’t want to feel those horrible feelings again as it makes me feel so bad. It’s just the worst. Sometimes I also think maybe the universe wants me to learn me something. I had a bad experience a few years ago with a dentist who said I was childish and was acting like a 15 years old because I was anxious and cried. This dentist in Spain is so lovely and nice so if I get all my wisdom teeth out there maybe that will cover the bad experience I had with that dentist in Holland and will feel less fearful in the future. The universe always give us situations to learn something from them 🌌. I’m happy to share with you now my favourites of November which includes eating delicious tapas with my friends, shopping time in the Primark, stationery shopping and finishing writing Christmas cards πŸŽ„.

Things I did with my family πŸ‘ͺ:

Tapas night with mamita 🍴

I enjoyed some delicious tapas with my mother πŸ˜πŸ˜‹. This is a very funny story to be honest. We were in a famous bar in Valladolid to eat some croquetas. My mother heard some guys talking and she thought they were from another country. Suddenly they began to talk to us. One of them was from India and was working in a company in Chicago. The other man was Spanish and had his own company. They were both married. They invited us for some tapas, croquetas and a drink. My mother drank a glass of wine and I had mosto which is grape juice. Then they invited us to a second bar hahah my mother thought wow what?! It was nice to get all free food and drinks. In the second bar we ate some delicious jamΓ³n serrano. Then something uncomfortable happened for me. We talked about life and jobs and I said I was looking for a job. Then this Spanish man said he could offer me a job in the marketing sector in his own company. I laughed and didn’t say anything. He then said that I don’t have attitude and that isn’t good when you are looking for a job. Well, I’m not going to say anything about my anxiety and why I acted that way πŸ˜•. My mother asked for his contact details but that’s it. I don’t find it normal that a stranger says that to you. What do you think? I’m also always very careful and don’t trust people that easily. I’m not good in making choices too.

Dinner at Erchus 🍴

I had a delicious tortilla de patata with bread at Erchus. It’s not that far from us and cheap. My mother ate some delicious churros with chocolate β˜•. This is typical Spanish and you often eat it during the cold Winter months. I love the chocolate but for a drink I prefer the hot chocolate even though this is the real chocolate drink.

Shopping time in Rio Shopping πŸ›’

One day we went to Rio Shopping in Valladolid. You have to take the bus to go there. I wasn’t feeling well in the bus twice. The second time was worse because I felt like I couldn’t breath. I know it’s anxiety but I guess it’s also because it’s always so hot everywhere which triggers my anxiety. I’m happy that afterwards we walked home from the city. I needed some fresh air. However, I enjoyed some shopping time in this big mall. I bought a nice book which is The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time in Fnac. I heard a lot of good things about this book πŸ“–. My daddy has that book at home in Dutch. I also went to Primark with my mother and bought some nice things such as fluffy purple socks, frozen socks which I love, stationery set of Harry Potter, black heart panties, and a necklace from Disney which says be yourself which is already broken now. Afterwards, we went to Ikea and enjoyed some delicious hotdogs with fries 🍟. I also loved that we could drink as much as we want. I had some lemon drink.

Dinner at El Corte Inglés 🍴

I had a delicious dinner with my mother in the big shop El Corte InglΓ©s πŸ˜‹. We always love to eat sandwich ham & cheese with potatoes. My mother drank some tea and I had an ice tea. I also bought a blue striped jeans in Bershka. It’s been some time since I bought some clothes. I also bought some Christmas stickers πŸŽ…πŸ€Ά at Tiger.

Watched the movie To all the boys I’ve loved before πŸ’˜πŸŽ¬

Finally I watched the movie To all the boys I’ve loved before with my mother at home. I want to also buy this book and read it. This movie is about Lara Jean who writes letters to all of her past loves, the letters are meant for her eyes only. Until one day when all the love letters are sent out to her previous loves. Her life is soon thrown into chaos when her foregoing loves confront her one by one. I loved this movie so much! 😍 It’s a funny and romantic movie. I find the story very funny and the end is also so good. I wish I could have that happy ending too.

Buying stationery πŸ›οΈβœ’οΈ

I bought some amazing stationery with my mother at my favourite shop which is Action in The Netherlands. I bought some calligraphy rose gold pens, some nice stickers with dog and cats and quotes on it and a design paperpad deluxe with glitter which has 26 pages full of colours, quotes and unicorn print πŸ¦„. I also bought a mystery designpad with all pages covered of the universe, stars, astrology signs and beautiful purple and blue colours. Aaaah it’s so damn beautiful! 😍✨🌌 I can use it to write quotes on it and sent that to my lovely pen pals.

Buying bath products and envelopes at Hema πŸ›€β€οΈ

I bought some nice bath products πŸ›€ at the Hema. I bought hand cream with shea butter and eucalyptus oil and a glitter hair spray for Christmas πŸŽ„βœ¨ I love to care about my body with great products. They smell so well and I love the design and colours. I also bought some set of envelopes, three with bubble paper and the other 20 are self adhesive which is very useful.

Inspiring talks on the airplane ✨✈️

I had some good talks on the airplane this month. On the way to Spain I met a nice girl from Uruguay and the way back to Holland I met a guy from Spain. I had such a beautiful connection with him. It makes me sad that he doesn’t talk to me anymore but I’m happy that I had that conversations as sometimes you just need some good talks to get inspired and be more positive in life. We all need some positive words and some kindness. You can read about those talks in this post. I also met my lovely Spanish teacher at the airport in Madrid πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ.

Watching Junior Eurovision Song Contest 2019 🎢

I watched Junior Eurovision Song Contest with my mother in The Netherlands. I always loved to watch it because it’s so cute to see kids singing. Spain returned after 13 years again. I’m so proud Melani got the third place with the beautiful song Marte which is about climate change and plastic waste in the ocean 🌊. I wrote about her song in this post. The Netherlands got the fourth place with a dance song. I wished Spain would have won instead of Poland again. It was fun to watch.

Lovely things I did with my friends πŸ’–:

Tapas night with my lovely friends in Haarlem πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸ΄

𝑰 π’ˆπ’†π’• π’ƒπ’š π’˜π’Šπ’•π’‰ 𝒂 π’π’Šπ’•π’•π’π’† 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑 π’‡π’“π’π’Ž π’Žπ’š π’‡π’“π’Šπ’†π’π’…π’” πŸ’ž

The tapas night with my friends was awesome as always. I ate with my lovely friends at @lacubanitahaarlem. This time we changed from restaurant as we always ate in El Pincho. I love both of these restaurants so much. The tapas were delicious, service was fast and they were friendly and it’s not that expensive πŸ˜πŸ€—πŸ΄ I loved the albΓ³ndigas with tomato sauce, sweet potatoes with curry, quesadillas, croquettes, tomatoes with mozarella and jamΓ³n serrano with melon. I also drank a virgen cocktail with coconut syrup and pineapple.

We ate so much all together as we could eat as much as we want because it’s a fixed price. As dessert my friends enjoyed a brownie, velvet cake 🍰 and ice cream. I always eat the dame blanche which is vanilla ice cream with warm chocolate sauce and whipped cream 🍨. I can never have enough of that as it’s my favourite dessert. We were the last ones in leaving the restaurant hahaha πŸ˜‚. Time flies when you are having fun. Afterwards, we went to see a bit of a live concert in cafΓ© Stiels.

Thank you so much for this lovely evening my friends πŸ’–. Whenever I’m with the people I love everything is fine. Thank you for always being there for me. I really needed to spend some time with my good friends as that’s also good for my mental health. It’s so important to be surrounded by people who actually care about you. Spanish vibes always πŸŽ‰ I’m so blessed to have you all in my life. Real friends are the ones who are there for you in good and bad times. I’m happy I found my tribe haha. Friends who love food are the best friends you can ask for 😍🍴 Friends forever πŸ’—πŸ‘¬πŸ‘­πŸ’ƒ We will see each other soon again. Love you all so much 😘 xoxo

Pen pal letters πŸ’Œ

I got some lovely pen pal letters from pen pals in America. One was handwritten and the other one was typed. I love to receive mail so much as it always make me so happy. These two girls are from the Yoga Girl Community. I hope to meet them one day. I also get a nice letter from Jess. I loved the quotes and the lovely cactus stickers. It was all so cute πŸ’ž.

Finished writing Christmas cards πŸŽ„

I wrote 32 Christmas cards for my family and friends all over the world. I’m sending 20 with the post. I always love to give and receive Christmas cards. It’s just such a nice tradition. I decorate them with washi tape, stickers and glitter. In some of them I also have a surprise which is a golden or silver star. I like to make them personal. I hope they will like them 😊.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all liked it. What was your favourite from my list? What did you enjoy in November? Do you also write Christmas cards? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina




World Suicide Prevention Day πŸ•―οΈπŸ’—πŸ™

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I wrote this for World Suicide Prevention Day and shared it on Instagram but never here. It was 10 September but it’s never too late to share it here too. September is also Suicide Prevention Month. It’s an important topic that has to be spoken about. Also as I consider myself a menta health blogger and advocate I keep on writing about this topic. I also suffer from anxiety as you know by now so writing about it makes me feel less alone. We can be there for each other. We have to be vulnerable, honest and help each other. Only then can we all heal in this world πŸ™πŸ’•βœ¨.

Today is an important day because it’s World Suicide Prevention Day. This has to be important every day, not only just today. There are two important projects/organizations which help people in need with the prevention of suicide which are TWLOHA and the Proyect Semicolon. It’s important that organizations and also NGO’s help all the people in need. There still has to be a lot of improvement in the help we all need. Waiting lists are way too long, help is not always available in the right time and also the treatment is not being right sometimes. So there still need to change a lot in the mental health sector to be better accessible for everyone in need πŸ’—.

Suicide is still one of the main causes of death in this world. More than 800.000 people die each year by suicide. That’s one person every 40 seconds. Women tend to have more suicidal thoughts whereas there are more men who die by suicide. Men are more silence about their struggles than women. I believe in equality so everyone has the right to speak up about their emotions or feelings regardless their gender. Speaking up is a sign of strength and is not a weakness. Crying is also not a weakness. We all cry. Sometimes we hold so much in us that at the end we fell apart. That means that you have been strong for way too long. It’s okay to fall apart as we find ourselves back with breaking apart and letting ourselves go. Let it all go ✨.

I think a person who has a mental illness can have suicidal thoughts. It’s more easier for them as they are already struggling with their mental health. I suffer from anxiety myself and also have these thoughts sometimes. I know that I will not act on it so I feel like my struggles don’t even matter. You have to know that no problem is worse than any other problem, how little or big it. We all matter and what we feel is real. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I just wish we would treat every mental illness with respect, compassion and understanding. Everyone deserve help and every experience is valid. Not because someone has it worse than you means that your feelings and thoughts don’t count.

I’m blessed for all the beautiful and amazing people I know in my life, online and in real life. Thank you for the friends and family who are always there for me ❀️ . I will also be there for anyone in this world who need to speak up about it. I still feel like I can speak about it easier online or with people who really understand me. It’s still somehow a taboo and this needs to end. The only way to help each other is to be able to speak up about our struggles in our mental health. We all have physical and mental health. We can all suffer from it and can suffer from a mental illness. It has no race, gender, sexuality or nationality.

The point is suicide is everywhere around us. We can’t close our eyes and act like we don’t see it. I really hate how people care about others when it’s too late. We have to check on our loved ones when we see the signs to be able to prevent suicide. Not all is lost if we keep raising awareness about it. Also instutions and mental health centers have to be able to help people in need whenever they need it. Nowadays I hear a lot of bad stories of how there’s only help available when it’s almost too late and also stories that doesn’t end well. You matter and your feelings are valid. When you are in crisis you need to be able to get the help you need in that moment and you deserve to have a great treatment afterwards to not fall back into crisis again. Also I think suicide prevention is very important. Workers in the mental health sector have to intervent early such as with suicide prevention. This hopefully could lead to less people dying by suicide.

I really know we can help each other and make this world a better place to live in if we all commit to it πŸŒπŸ’—πŸ™. There needs to be help available for everyone who needs it. I hope that I can help these people in the future. I hope to be of service for those who need it. Tomorrow needs me because my purpose in life is to heal myself while helping others. Remember, you are loved. You are worth it. You are enough even if you don’t feel that all the time. You really are SO enough. The world is brighter because of YOU! We need the darkness in life to find the light at the end of it. You are never alone πŸ’—. We are all in this together πŸ’ͺ

Thank you all for reading this important blog post. What do you think of suicide prevention? Do you think it would help? What do you think needs to change in the mental health sector to be it accessible for everyone? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

I feel like everyone is living their best life, except me

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I just needed to write this down here and share it with you all. I hope my thoughts make some sense as these feelings and thoughts make me feel bad and sad 😒. I have this in my mind for so long right now that I just need to let it out. The best place to let it out is here on my blog writing about it. I’m going to write about how I feel right now. I feel like everyone is living their best life, except me. It’s like I’m stuck in this place in life and I don’t know how to seem to get out of it. It hurt me.

I feel like everyone is going on with their lives and enjoying their lives while I’m stuck in this hole. I’m stuck in a place and I don’t know how to get myself out of it. I’m not depressed but anxiety gets in my way and makes me also feel this way. I know everything you see on social media isn’t real because most people only show the good things in life like when they get a great job, are getting married πŸ’, have a baby or buy a house 🏑 . I see so many people I know achieving all big milestones in life while I just watch them from the sideline. It still hurt me sometimes to look at those pictures and think wow I’m 26 years old and I’m so behind in life. I struggle to find a job as you all know by now. I’m single and have no driver license. I sometimes get sad and also anxious about how I feel like nothing is going right in my life. I’m just surviving instead of living.

Some people I follow share their best travel pictures and go to amazing places where I dream of going to πŸŒŠπŸŒ΄πŸ„β€β™€οΈ 🌞. I know I also travel and have fun with my family and friends but that doesn’t mean it’s all okay. We all struggle but not everyone shows it in this world we live in. This is also the reason why I’m so looking into real friendships, relationships or any other connection may it be online or in real life. I crave honesty, empathy, compassion and understanding. I don’t want to be surrounded by toxic or fake people. I have done that in the past and it only made me feel worse in the long term. Being bullied during high school also makes me feel more careful around people now as I don’t want to get hurt again. It’s like I have a wall surrounding myself which is also not always good to have. I just wish people would be more real these days as I just can’t deal with all the fake people and things out there in this world πŸ’”. Is it too much to ask for realness in this world? Does it mean more for people to be fake just to impress others? I really don’t know. I just know that being real is what I want to be all my life even though that means loosing people who aren’t on the same vibe as I’m.

You know that feeling when you see someone who used to be your friend but you don’t even talk much anymore and then they ask you how are you are doing and about your life? Well, I just don’t want to talk about the truth with certain people as many people are only curious, want to gossip around about the things you said and don’t even care at all. They will tell you how awesome their life is and all that fake stuff which I can’t deal with. I just always have to lie about things in my life which I don’t like because I want to be real. In those moments I just don’t know what to say. I don’t like lying but I also don’t like to share intimate stuff with people who don’t even care. It’s none of their business you know. I have always been that sweet, innocent girl and I still am in some ways but I also don’t want that people take adventage of me anymore because of my soft personality.

I’m maybe not the only one who think they are behind in life. I know life is not a timeline of things we have to achieve at a certain age but society constantly throws it on our face. It’s hard to not look away from it and think about it in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep. When I say to people in The Netherlands I still live at home they look strange at me. In Spain children live like for so long with their parents. I really love that family is important in Spain as when the parents are older the children care about them. I think that’s also a normal thing to do when your parents have cared about you your whole life. I love my parents and they are the most important people in my life together with my whole family and all my friends in real life and online of course πŸ’–. It’s just that society will not stop with these messages. We have to know that it’s our life and that everything is okay. We have to tell ourselves that everything we do in life is at the right time. We are all different and we all lead different lives. If we would be all the same it would be pretty boring.

I also have to remind myself that I’m doing my best and that that is enough. People think anxiety is an excuse for not doing certain things such as working. I would love to feel good and be able to do a good job. I’m applying for jobs but often don’t hear back. They will say I’m lazy, don’t try hard enough or that the things which takes me effort cause me anxiety. It’s true that working, going to the dentist, doctors and all that stuff scare me and cause me anxiety and sometimes also panic attacks. It’s not my fault. I don’t get anxiety when I travel only during the flight or when I have fun with my friends at a concert. I guess some people think that people who suffer from a mental illness just make everything up so that we don’t have to work or do scary stuff. I’m happy with the friends, family, blogging community, pen pals and the yoga girl community. I love all your support and appreciate it so much πŸ’—πŸ™. I also heard lately how I’m not doing an effort of feeling better because of suffering of anxiety. I don’t know if going to therapy would help me because I was vomiting and nauseous all the time when I went to speak to someone a few years ago. I don’t want to go through that again. Going to doctors, dentists and all that stuff makes me anxious so yeah it’s a circle where I don’t go of so I don’t know what to do.

I just wish that we all will achieve our dreams. I have so many dreams but I don’t know how to reach them and that’s when I get stuck and can’t move forward out of fear. We all deserve to achieve our dreams and live a life we are happy about. I hope that we can all find that happiness we are looking for ✨. I also just wish people would be more understanding these days especially for the ones who are struggling. I will keep raising awareness about mental health. It helps for me to be vulnerable enough to write it all down. Maybe it will help someone to feel less alone. Maybe you also feel this way and can share it with me. Maybe we can help each other and find a way out of this mess. Life is a beautiful mess and I’m so happy to be on this road all together. May we laugh. May we cry. May we always stick together for the end of our times πŸ’–.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all understand what I just told you about. Can you relate to my feelings? Do you also feel like everyone is living their best life while you feel behind? How are you doing in life right now? Let me know lovelies. I will be always be there for you like you all are there for me ❀️. That will never change. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Poem: How would my life be without fear?

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

This will be just a short post about a poem I made a month ago. I still feel this way though. It’s good to put my thoughts and feelings in words. I hope you will understand what I feel with this poem I made. I often feel like I’m just surviving and existing in life than that I’m really living the life I want. I’m afraid of death and I shared those thoughts in this blog post a while ago. However, I’m also afraid of life because I’m not living a life that brings me happiness because of anxiety. I hope that that will change in the future πŸ™.

π‘―π’π’˜ π’˜π’π’–π’π’… π’Žπ’š π’π’Šπ’‡π’† 𝒃𝒆 π’˜π’Šπ’•π’‰π’π’–π’• 𝒇𝒆𝒂𝒓?

My life would be so different because I wouldn’t feel so extremely anxious for everyday life things such as going to the dentist or going to the doctors.

I would follow my dreams and know that I can reach them like getting a job in Spain and writing a poetry book.

I would join a choir again or do something with singing for sure because I love to sing 🎢 It makes me so happy πŸ’—. Music is life like I always say.

I wouldn’t be afraid of death because I know that my life is purposeful and fulfilling.

I would speak up in real life more instead of hiding myself and avoiding people and confrontation.

I wouldn’t think all the time that people are angry at me.

I would be more happy with myself and with my life.

I would go into the ocean and learn to actually surf waves πŸŒŠπŸ„β€β™€οΈ and maybe even big waves.

I would let go of the past and be less afraid of the future.

I would deal better with having changes in my life.

I would travel the world 🌍 and go to amazing places like Aruba πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ό, Costa Rica 🌞, Hawaii 🌴 and California 🌊. I would go to the @yoga_girl retreat in Aruba and have the time of my life.

I would live my life the way I want and be less afraid of what people think of me.

I would let go of others expectations.

I would know how to deal with anxiety better.

But most of all, 
I would just be much more happier, be more at peace with myself and live the life I dream of.

Hopefully, one day I can say that I made it πŸ’ͺπŸ’— after all the hard times I have faced in my life.

That’s what I and we all deserve.

To live a life we are happy about, do the things we love to do with the people we love.

Thank you all so much for reading my poem. I hope you all liked it πŸ’—. Do you also feel that way in life? How do you deal with fear in life? Are you more of facing your fears or running away from them? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina