Just be yourself poem ๐ŸŒธ

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

I would like to share a poem I made a few days ago about being myself and I also shared it online. It’s been a long time since I shared a poem on here. I love to express myself with writing. I will show a picture of me with this poem I made. I had a nice photoshoot one day in Spain. This picture is already 6 years old haha but sssht ๐Ÿคซ I still look the same ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคญ.

Picture of myself in Spain

I am sensitive.

I am caring.

I am beautiful.

I am creative.

I am inspiring.

I am strong.

I am lovable.

I am enough.

I am loved.

I am empathetic.

I am vulnerable.

I am honest.

I am open-minded.

I am intelligent.

I am sweet.

I am romantic.

I can be all of them.

I don’t have to choose between one of them.

Being human means being all of those things.

That’s the power of being human.

To be who you want to be without having to choose.

Being ourselves and loving ourselves unconditionally.

We are all human and matter.

Be yourself and love yourself.

Just be you.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope this poem inspired you to be just yourself with all your qualities and flaws. You are beautiful just the way you are ๐Ÿ’–. What do you think of my poem? What makes you you? Do you think it’s difficult to be yourself in our society? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

I faced my fear of going to the dentist for my wisdom teeth removal ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿฆท

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’ž,

This blog post is going to be so important for me because I have had this fear for three years almost and kept postponing it. This blog post is about my wisdom teeth removal which happened today ๐Ÿฆท. While my mother is sleeping and I’m resting in bad I’m writing this blog post. I’m also crying because I feel so relieved. I’m so proud of myself.

So today I faced one of my biggest fears in life which is going to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth out ๐Ÿฆท. One of them is out now. Still three to go but at least this is done. Gotta love Spanish dentists who understand my anxiety and who are just so lovely. Also never mind my face is big because of the anesthesia. You can see that on the picture below. I basically had no choice to go today because I don’t want anyone forcing me in Holland. It’s more expensive there and they also do it in the hospital. I find hospitals even more scary ๐Ÿ˜ข. It reminds me when my dad was there and almost died.

I got a trauma from going to the dentist for a root canal treatment in The Netherlands because I got called childish and 15 years old. That resulted in me having a panic attack. That’s not a good way to treat your patients. I know they are not all like that but that experience just made me soooo anxious. There are good and bad dentists and doctors everywhere. You just have to find the right one. Finding one you can trust is so important ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿคž It really makes you more calm which is exactly what I need. That’s the most important thing.

I was so anxious the past days. I couldn’t sleep well last night and kept feeling anxious and nauseous. Today I woke up crying and really didn’t want to go but I know I had to. It’s bad when a fear is keeping you from living your life for so long. It’s been three years and it’s a miracle that I didn’t have any infections just yet. My mother said today that they changed the appointment to 4 o’clock in the afternoon instead of 7 o’clock in the afternoon. In fact it was much better because I always wake up so late so it would make me have less time worrying, crying and being anxious. I almost didn’t eat because I didn’t want to vomit because of anxiety. I drank water, some cookies and that’s it. I also took half of Valium ๐Ÿ’Š.

I’m SO happy I went here in Spain. They are understanding and know how to deal with people who have anxiety. I took anti anxiety meds before. When I arrived at the clinic today they gave me a tila which is a Spanish tea to calm you down ๐Ÿต. I was like wow what a service thank you so much. Then they said the dentist wasn’t still there haha he was eating, lol typical Spanish times ๐Ÿ˜‚ Then it was time for me to do it. I almost didn’t felt the anesthesia. I remember from Holland that I felt it. They also give me something to squeeze haha a little shark ๐Ÿฆˆ . They calmed me down with some breathing exercises like breathing slowly. This definitely helps so much. I tasted something like pepermint which was nice. I closed my eyes too which was better they said. It was the dentist and a woman who helped him. They were both so friendly.

Then they said I would feel like a bee ๐Ÿ was pricking me but I almost felt nothing. That was done and then the dentist took the teeth away. My head was going left lol so I had to change my position and said sorry they were like no it’s okay. I’m always so used to say sorry for everything. I didn’t feel anything only that it took some strength to get that fucking wisdom teeth gone ๐Ÿ˜‚ That teeth was being mean haha but at the end the dentist won yeahhhh ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿคฃ Lucky man ๐Ÿ€ I saw it and he told me if I want to bring it home lol I said no way. Some people want to save it.

I didn’t even noticed the anesthesia at all. It was so smoothly all. In less than 15 minutes it was all down. I didn’t want that ๐Ÿฆท teeth so they threw it away ๐Ÿคฃ. I told them I love them very much and they said the same to me ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ญ. They said I was being really brave. Those words meant so much I could cry there. The dentist is also very handsome haha. That’s just a big plus ๐Ÿ’–. I’m not falling in love or am I lol cray cray ๐Ÿ˜‚. I would love to meet one day someone who would love me the way my dentist treated me today. I just want people in my life who treat me with kindness, compassion and understanding. I don’t ask for much more.

I have to go again next week to know if everything is okay and to know that I have no infections. I know it isn’t fun going to the dentist but maybe this experience will somehow also make me overcome this fear of the dentist. I feel like this is a learning like Yoga Girl would say. This is much more than just a wisdom teeth removal. This experience made me believe again in the good in people. I think in some way the universe is giving me all these experiences with good people to cover up all the bad experiences in the past like being bullied and having a broken heart.

Now, I got prescribed antibiotics, ibuprofen for pain and another medicine for darmflora because antibiotics can also have some side effects. I hope I won’t have too much pain and these meds will help ๐Ÿ™. I’m not a person who takes a lot of antibiotics. In The Netherlands they would not give you antibiotics. I also thought it’s strange to take that before I have an infection but it’s better. The health care system in Spain is really good and I love their professionality. I also love that it feels like you are talking with a friend lol ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’– I wouldn’t say in Holland that I love them so much. There you give the doctors a hand. Here my mother gave him two kisses wishing them happy new year ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŽ‰. I think that also helps to decrease anxiety. I don’t like people being so serious. Life is already hard enough. We need more fun and laughs.

I don’t have to spit for a day and the meds I should take

Maybe this isn’t a big deal for some people but for me it is. I want to be real about my struggles in life online and in real life. I have been with this fear for so many years that I really feel a weight is off my shoulders. I know I’m not done with it but at least one ๐Ÿฆท is out byebye. I still have to get rid of three. Little by little they will be gone. This definitely increased my confidence. I’m so proud of myself. Anxiety didn’t win today. I won today ๐Ÿ’ช I called my daddy and he was really happy I went. I know my family wants best for us. He doesn’t want that I have an infection. Everything is well. I know my anxiety tells me so many stuff which isn’t true. At the end, this fear was worse than the thing itself. It’s always the same but that’s anxiety. I thought even that I was going to die or have a panic attack but nothing happened.

I’m thankful that there exists people who are human, understanding and have compassion because that’s really what this world needs ๐ŸŒ. We need more kind people. Kindness is never a weakness but a strength. I’m not afraid anymore to show my sensitivity because it’s makes me human. I know that there always will be good people ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–

I’m also so thankful for all the people who have always been there for me, my good friends, my family, all the people I met online like my lovely bloggers, pen pals, people from The Yoga Girl Community and The Goddess community. I couldn’t have done this without all of you. Thank you for your endless support. We can achieve anything we want with the help of others. We are never alone ๐Ÿ’– I’m so blessed to have you all in my life. We are all in this together ๐Ÿ’ช

Thank you all for reading this blog post. Do you also have a fear which you keep postponing? Do you also had to get rid of a wisdom teeth? What do think of my story? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all soon in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Sinterklaas haul yeahhh ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ž

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

Today I will share with you all a nice Sinterklaas haul ๐ŸŽ. We celebrated Sinterklaas last Friday at my brother’s appartment with the family. It’s a typical Dutch celebration. I always am looking so forward to this celebration all year long ๐ŸŽ‰. The official day of the celebration is the 5th of December but we celebrated it on the 6th. They say that Sinterklaas is a saint which comes from Spain ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ in a boat. If you have been a good child you would get presents. If not, they would make pepernoten of you which are some Dutch sweets and you would be put into the zak van Sinterklaas which goes to Spain hahaha. Some people make surprises on this day, hide presents and make poems. Our family just buys presents for each one of us. I’m excited to share with you all the amazing stuff which I got this year.

A yoga mat!!! ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™€๏ธ

Finally, I got a yoga mat ๐Ÿ™โœจ. I’m so happy with it. I really hope to use it much at home. I love to practise yoga with Adrienne on Youtube. I have to do it more. I only took some lessons in my life and I really want to go to some lessons when I have more money. The yoga mat is pink and from a real Yoga brand. I don’t know which one because my brother and his wife didn’t told me hahah. It was a nice surprise. It was put into a big box of Samsung and my brother wrote Samsung unstoppable as it’s that slogan. I really do love this yoga mat as it’s beautiful so I really need to get myself on the mat now. My biggest inspiration alive is Yoga Girl ๐Ÿ˜ and I love the Yoga Community. I hope to be able to go to one of her lessons and also go on a retreat in Aruba ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ผ one day. This is already the first step in making my dream come true. Now, I want to practise it more and become better in it. It could also help me with my back pain and it’s so good for your mental health too. It would make me feel more calm like meditation also does.

Flow magazines ๐Ÿ“š

In the box where the yoga mat was in there were also 5 Flow magazines. I love the Dutch and Belgian Flow magazine. It’s so creative and inspiring. I love the quotes and the stories written. You can find stories of mental health, how to live a simple life, tips to increase happiness and many other inspiring stories. It’s about letting life flow without any hurry and staying in the present moment. With the magazine also come free goodies such as a laptop sticker, notebook, quotes, little cards, stationery. I love that so much.

Flow tear-off calendar ๐Ÿ—“๏ธ

I love those kinds of calendars so much. I always have one in my room. This year I had one of The Bucketlist with quotes and things to do. This year I have again one from Flow ๐ŸŒธ. It isn’t only a magazine, they sell lots of stationery and other things too like this amazing calender. I love the quote on it “It is all about finding calm in the chaos”. This year it comes full of inspiring quotes, advice, photography, life lessons, insights, tips and pages about mental health, psychology and lifestyle. It’s great to begin the day with reading something inspiring โœจ.

Flow book for paper lovers ๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ˜

THIS IS DEFINITELY ONE OF MY FAV PRESENTS EVAH!!! ๐Ÿ˜ This book from Flow is so amazing and really heaven for any stationery lover. It cointains beautiful writing paper, stickers, quotes, cards, posters and even wrapping paper for presents. I already have one at home but this is the seventh edition which contains much more beautiful and amazing stationery.

Christmas tree pen ๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿ–‹๏ธ

This is a beautiful Christmas tree pen I got. It even has some things on it like little bells haha ๐ŸŽ…. It’s really cute! Maybe it’s a bit difficult to write with it but it could be a nice decoration too.

Advent candle ๐Ÿ•ฏ๏ธ

I got a beautiful hearts advent candle. I love it so much. Anything with hearts is always a must have! I’m the queen of hearts and have loads of stuff in my room with hearts. Yes, I’m that romantic and sensitive girl. The only bad thing is that we use electronic candles at home because my parents are afraid to use real candles โœจ. I still hope to use this one one day hahah ๐Ÿ˜‚.

Chocolate advent calendar ๐Ÿ—“๏ธ๐Ÿซ

I love to have a chocolate advent calendar ๐Ÿ˜. I can’t begin December without one. I have now two because my daddy also got me one when I came back from Spain. That one is a bit messed up because the chocolates got messed up but well now I can eat even more chocolate every day. I have to be careful I don’t get sick of too much chocolate.

Chocolate heaven ๐Ÿซ๐Ÿซ๐Ÿซ

I got so much delicious chocolate. I love it so much. It’s typical to get letters of chocolate. I have got money out of chocolate, two chocolate letters with the letter C (one is with white chocolate with sea salt and the other one with milk), a white chocolate of Sinterklaas, spice nuts also called kruidnoten in The Netherlands with milk chocolate and white chocolats. I also got milk chocolate pralines in a beautiful package. Lastly but not least, I got a delicious marzipan with chocolate. I think I have enough chocolate now haha. Chocolate is just the best and a girl’s best friend โค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Œ.

Pickwick Joy of tea – Green tropical ๐Ÿต๐Ÿ’ž

Of course, I got tea as I love to drink tea so much. I love to drink Yogi tea which always comes with a quote. I like to try different teas ๐Ÿ’–. This one is from Pickwick and it’s green tropical. It contains ginger, pineapple, coconut and lemon. I think this will be a delicious one.

Christmas socks ๐ŸŽ„

I love these Christmas socks from Primark so much. One pair is with a reindeer on it with little balls and the other one has Christmas balls and rings on it. I love them and I’m sure they are also very cozy.

A mug to paint ๐ŸŽจ

In Spain I have another mug that I still need to paint. Now, I got another mug to paint ๐Ÿ’–. This one is a beautiful swan ๐Ÿฆข. I love to be creative so this would be a nice thing to do as I’ve never done this before. When the painting is finished you have to let it dry in the microwave. I hope it doesn’t explode lol ๐Ÿ˜‚.

Squeeze animal ๐Ÿ˜

This is the squeeze animal I lost in Granada this Summer. I had it in my bed in the hotel but the cleaners threw it away without knowing. It made me really sad. I’m happy to have got the same one back. It’s so cute and it’s good to squeeze it when I’m stressed. It makes me feel more calm ๐Ÿ’œ.

Beauty products ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿšฟ

I got a pink Batiste Dry Shampoo which is the one of Blush – floral and flirty haha. I love it but I also have to use it a bit less because otherwise my hair feels sometimes a bit dry. It’s good for my bangs as that easily gets oily which I don’t like. I also got a Vogue Girl Deodorant. I love the cats one ๐Ÿ˜ป. It smells so good.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you liked my Sinterklaas haul. Which present was your favourite of mine list? Did you love the stationery I got? What’s on your Christmas list this year? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

November favourites ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿด

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

I’m happy that my November month turned positive because in the middle of November I felt so depressed, low and anxious in Spain ๐Ÿ˜ข. I know it’s because I associate Spain now with going to the dentist which increase my anxiety. I just don’t want to feel those horrible feelings again as it makes me feel so bad. It’s just the worst. Sometimes I also think maybe the universe wants me to learn me something. I had a bad experience a few years ago with a dentist who said I was childish and was acting like a 15 years old because I was anxious and cried. This dentist in Spain is so lovely and nice so if I get all my wisdom teeth out there maybe that will cover the bad experience I had with that dentist in Holland and will feel less fearful in the future. The universe always give us situations to learn something from them ๐ŸŒŒ. I’m happy to share with you now my favourites of November which includes eating delicious tapas with my friends, shopping time in the Primark, stationery shopping and finishing writing Christmas cards ๐ŸŽ„.

Things I did with my family ๐Ÿ‘ช:

Tapas night with mamita ๐Ÿด

I enjoyed some delicious tapas with my mother ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‹. This is a very funny story to be honest. We were in a famous bar in Valladolid to eat some croquetas. My mother heard some guys talking and she thought they were from another country. Suddenly they began to talk to us. One of them was from India and was working in a company in Chicago. The other man was Spanish and had his own company. They were both married. They invited us for some tapas, croquetas and a drink. My mother drank a glass of wine and I had mosto which is grape juice. Then they invited us to a second bar hahah my mother thought wow what?! It was nice to get all free food and drinks. In the second bar we ate some delicious jamรณn serrano. Then something uncomfortable happened for me. We talked about life and jobs and I said I was looking for a job. Then this Spanish man said he could offer me a job in the marketing sector in his own company. I laughed and didn’t say anything. He then said that I don’t have attitude and that isn’t good when you are looking for a job. Well, I’m not going to say anything about my anxiety and why I acted that way ๐Ÿ˜•. My mother asked for his contact details but that’s it. I don’t find it normal that a stranger says that to you. What do you think? I’m also always very careful and don’t trust people that easily. I’m not good in making choices too.

Dinner at Erchus ๐Ÿด

I had a delicious tortilla de patata with bread at Erchus. It’s not that far from us and cheap. My mother ate some delicious churros with chocolate โ˜•. This is typical Spanish and you often eat it during the cold Winter months. I love the chocolate but for a drink I prefer the hot chocolate even though this is the real chocolate drink.

Shopping time in Rio Shopping ๐Ÿ›’

One day we went to Rio Shopping in Valladolid. You have to take the bus to go there. I wasn’t feeling well in the bus twice. The second time was worse because I felt like I couldn’t breath. I know it’s anxiety but I guess it’s also because it’s always so hot everywhere which triggers my anxiety. I’m happy that afterwards we walked home from the city. I needed some fresh air. However, I enjoyed some shopping time in this big mall. I bought a nice book which is The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time in Fnac. I heard a lot of good things about this book ๐Ÿ“–. My daddy has that book at home in Dutch. I also went to Primark with my mother and bought some nice things such as fluffy purple socks, frozen socks which I love, stationery set of Harry Potter, black heart panties, and a necklace from Disney which says be yourself which is already broken now. Afterwards, we went to Ikea and enjoyed some delicious hotdogs with fries ๐ŸŸ. I also loved that we could drink as much as we want. I had some lemon drink.

Dinner at El Corte Inglรฉs ๐Ÿด

I had a delicious dinner with my mother in the big shop El Corte Inglรฉs ๐Ÿ˜‹. We always love to eat sandwich ham & cheese with potatoes. My mother drank some tea and I had an ice tea. I also bought a blue striped jeans in Bershka. It’s been some time since I bought some clothes. I also bought some Christmas stickers ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿคถ at Tiger.

Watched the movie To all the boys I’ve loved before ๐Ÿ’˜๐ŸŽฌ

Finally I watched the movie To all the boys I’ve loved before with my mother at home. I want to also buy this book and read it. This movie is about Lara Jean who writes letters to all of her past loves, the letters are meant for her eyes only. Until one day when all the love letters are sent out to her previous loves. Her life is soon thrown into chaos when her foregoing loves confront her one by one. I loved this movie so much! ๐Ÿ˜ It’s a funny and romantic movie. I find the story very funny and the end is also so good. I wish I could have that happy ending too.

Buying stationery ๐Ÿ›๏ธโœ’๏ธ

I bought some amazing stationery with my mother at my favourite shop which is Action in The Netherlands. I bought some calligraphy rose gold pens, some nice stickers with dog and cats and quotes on it and a design paperpad deluxe with glitter which has 26 pages full of colours, quotes and unicorn print ๐Ÿฆ„. I also bought a mystery designpad with all pages covered of the universe, stars, astrology signs and beautiful purple and blue colours. Aaaah it’s so damn beautiful! ๐Ÿ˜โœจ๐ŸŒŒ I can use it to write quotes on it and sent that to my lovely pen pals.

Buying bath products and envelopes at Hema ๐Ÿ›€โค๏ธ

I bought some nice bath products ๐Ÿ›€ at the Hema. I bought hand cream with shea butter and eucalyptus oil and a glitter hair spray for Christmas ๐ŸŽ„โœจ I love to care about my body with great products. They smell so well and I love the design and colours. I also bought some set of envelopes, three with bubble paper and the other 20 are self adhesive which is very useful.

Inspiring talks on the airplane โœจโœˆ๏ธ

I had some good talks on the airplane this month. On the way to Spain I met a nice girl from Uruguay and the way back to Holland I met a guy from Spain. I had such a beautiful connection with him. It makes me sad that he doesn’t talk to me anymore but I’m happy that I had that conversations as sometimes you just need some good talks to get inspired and be more positive in life. We all need some positive words and some kindness. You can read about those talks in this post. I also met my lovely Spanish teacher at the airport in Madrid ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ.

Watching Junior Eurovision Song Contest 2019 ๐ŸŽถ

I watched Junior Eurovision Song Contest with my mother in The Netherlands. I always loved to watch it because it’s so cute to see kids singing. Spain returned after 13 years again. I’m so proud Melani got the third place with the beautiful song Marte which is about climate change and plastic waste in the ocean ๐ŸŒŠ. I wrote about her song in this post. The Netherlands got the fourth place with a dance song. I wished Spain would have won instead of Poland again. It was fun to watch.

Lovely things I did with my friends ๐Ÿ’–:

Tapas night with my lovely friends in Haarlem ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿด

๐‘ฐ ๐’ˆ๐’†๐’• ๐’ƒ๐’š ๐’˜๐’Š๐’•๐’‰ ๐’‚ ๐’๐’Š๐’•๐’•๐’๐’† ๐’‰๐’†๐’๐’‘ ๐’‡๐’“๐’๐’Ž ๐’Ž๐’š ๐’‡๐’“๐’Š๐’†๐’๐’…๐’” ๐Ÿ’ž

The tapas night with my friends was awesome as always. I ate with my lovely friends at @lacubanitahaarlem. This time we changed from restaurant as we always ate in El Pincho. I love both of these restaurants so much. The tapas were delicious, service was fast and they were friendly and it’s not that expensive ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿค—๐Ÿด I loved the albรณndigas with tomato sauce, sweet potatoes with curry, quesadillas, croquettes, tomatoes with mozarella and jamรณn serrano with melon. I also drank a virgen cocktail with coconut syrup and pineapple.

We ate so much all together as we could eat as much as we want because it’s a fixed price. As dessert my friends enjoyed a brownie, velvet cake ๐Ÿฐ and ice cream. I always eat the dame blanche which is vanilla ice cream with warm chocolate sauce and whipped cream ๐Ÿจ. I can never have enough of that as it’s my favourite dessert. We were the last ones in leaving the restaurant hahaha ๐Ÿ˜‚. Time flies when you are having fun. Afterwards, we went to see a bit of a live concert in cafรฉ Stiels.

Thank you so much for this lovely evening my friends ๐Ÿ’–. Whenever I’m with the people I love everything is fine. Thank you for always being there for me. I really needed to spend some time with my good friends as that’s also good for my mental health. It’s so important to be surrounded by people who actually care about you. Spanish vibes always ๐ŸŽ‰ I’m so blessed to have you all in my life. Real friends are the ones who are there for you in good and bad times. I’m happy I found my tribe haha. Friends who love food are the best friends you can ask for ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿด Friends forever ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ‘ฌ๐Ÿ‘ญ๐Ÿ’ƒ We will see each other soon again. Love you all so much ๐Ÿ˜˜ xoxo

Pen pal letters ๐Ÿ’Œ

I got some lovely pen pal letters from pen pals in America. One was handwritten and the other one was typed. I love to receive mail so much as it always make me so happy. These two girls are from the Yoga Girl Community. I hope to meet them one day. I also get a nice letter from Jess. I loved the quotes and the lovely cactus stickers. It was all so cute ๐Ÿ’ž.

Finished writing Christmas cards ๐ŸŽ„

I wrote 32 Christmas cards for my family and friends all over the world. I’m sending 20 with the post. I always love to give and receive Christmas cards. It’s just such a nice tradition. I decorate them with washi tape, stickers and glitter. In some of them I also have a surprise which is a golden or silver star. I like to make them personal. I hope they will like them ๐Ÿ˜Š.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all liked it. What was your favourite from my list? What did you enjoy in November? Do you also write Christmas cards? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina




World Suicide Prevention Day ๐Ÿ•ฏ๏ธ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ™

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

I wrote this for World Suicide Prevention Day and shared it on Instagram but never here. It was 10 September but it’s never too late to share it here too. September is also Suicide Prevention Month. It’s an important topic that has to be spoken about. Also as I consider myself a menta health blogger and advocate I keep on writing about this topic. I also suffer from anxiety as you know by now so writing about it makes me feel less alone. We can be there for each other. We have to be vulnerable, honest and help each other. Only then can we all heal in this world ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’•โœจ.

Today is an important day because it’s World Suicide Prevention Day. This has to be important every day, not only just today. There are two important projects/organizations which help people in need with the prevention of suicide which are TWLOHA and the Proyect Semicolon. It’s important that organizations and also NGO’s help all the people in need. There still has to be a lot of improvement in the help we all need. Waiting lists are way too long, help is not always available in the right time and also the treatment is not being right sometimes. So there still need to change a lot in the mental health sector to be better accessible for everyone in need ๐Ÿ’—.

Suicide is still one of the main causes of death in this world. More than 800.000 people die each year by suicide. That’s one person every 40 seconds. Women tend to have more suicidal thoughts whereas there are more men who die by suicide. Men are more silence about their struggles than women. I believe in equality so everyone has the right to speak up about their emotions or feelings regardless their gender. Speaking up is a sign of strength and is not a weakness. Crying is also not a weakness. We all cry. Sometimes we hold so much in us that at the end we fell apart. That means that you have been strong for way too long. It’s okay to fall apart as we find ourselves back with breaking apart and letting ourselves go. Let it all go โœจ.

I think a person who has a mental illness can have suicidal thoughts. It’s more easier for them as they are already struggling with their mental health. I suffer from anxiety myself and also have these thoughts sometimes. I know that I will not act on it so I feel like my struggles don’t even matter. You have to know that no problem is worse than any other problem, how little or big it. We all matter and what we feel is real. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I just wish we would treat every mental illness with respect, compassion and understanding. Everyone deserve help and every experience is valid. Not because someone has it worse than you means that your feelings and thoughts don’t count.

I’m blessed for all the beautiful and amazing people I know in my life, online and in real life. Thank you for the friends and family who are always there for me โค๏ธ . I will also be there for anyone in this world who need to speak up about it. I still feel like I can speak about it easier online or with people who really understand me. It’s still somehow a taboo and this needs to end. The only way to help each other is to be able to speak up about our struggles in our mental health. We all have physical and mental health. We can all suffer from it and can suffer from a mental illness. It has no race, gender, sexuality or nationality.

The point is suicide is everywhere around us. We can’t close our eyes and act like we don’t see it. I really hate how people care about others when it’s too late. We have to check on our loved ones when we see the signs to be able to prevent suicide. Not all is lost if we keep raising awareness about it. Also instutions and mental health centers have to be able to help people in need whenever they need it. Nowadays I hear a lot of bad stories of how there’s only help available when it’s almost too late and also stories that doesn’t end well. You matter and your feelings are valid. When you are in crisis you need to be able to get the help you need in that moment and you deserve to have a great treatment afterwards to not fall back into crisis again. Also I think suicide prevention is very important. Workers in the mental health sector have to intervent early such as with suicide prevention. This hopefully could lead to less people dying by suicide.

I really know we can help each other and make this world a better place to live in if we all commit to it ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ™. There needs to be help available for everyone who needs it. I hope that I can help these people in the future. I hope to be of service for those who need it. Tomorrow needs me because my purpose in life is to heal myself while helping others. Remember, you are loved. You are worth it. You are enough even if you don’t feel that all the time. You really are SO enough. The world is brighter because of YOU! We need the darkness in life to find the light at the end of it. You are never alone ๐Ÿ’—. We are all in this together ๐Ÿ’ช

Thank you all for reading this important blog post. What do you think of suicide prevention? Do you think it would help? What do you think needs to change in the mental health sector to be it accessible for everyone? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

I feel like everyone is living their best life, except me

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

I just needed to write this down here and share it with you all. I hope my thoughts make some sense as these feelings and thoughts make me feel bad and sad ๐Ÿ˜ข. I have this in my mind for so long right now that I just need to let it out. The best place to let it out is here on my blog writing about it. I’m going to write about how I feel right now. I feel like everyone is living their best life, except me. It’s like I’m stuck in this place in life and I don’t know how to seem to get out of it. It hurt me.

I feel like everyone is going on with their lives and enjoying their lives while I’m stuck in this hole. I’m stuck in a place and I don’t know how to get myself out of it. I’m not depressed but anxiety gets in my way and makes me also feel this way. I know everything you see on social media isn’t real because most people only show the good things in life like when they get a great job, are getting married ๐Ÿ’, have a baby or buy a house ๐Ÿก . I see so many people I know achieving all big milestones in life while I just watch them from the sideline. It still hurt me sometimes to look at those pictures and think wow I’m 26 years old and I’m so behind in life. I struggle to find a job as you all know by now. I’m single and have no driver license. I sometimes get sad and also anxious about how I feel like nothing is going right in my life. I’m just surviving instead of living.

Some people I follow share their best travel pictures and go to amazing places where I dream of going to ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ ๐ŸŒž. I know I also travel and have fun with my family and friends but that doesn’t mean it’s all okay. We all struggle but not everyone shows it in this world we live in. This is also the reason why I’m so looking into real friendships, relationships or any other connection may it be online or in real life. I crave honesty, empathy, compassion and understanding. I don’t want to be surrounded by toxic or fake people. I have done that in the past and it only made me feel worse in the long term. Being bullied during high school also makes me feel more careful around people now as I don’t want to get hurt again. It’s like I have a wall surrounding myself which is also not always good to have. I just wish people would be more real these days as I just can’t deal with all the fake people and things out there in this world ๐Ÿ’”. Is it too much to ask for realness in this world? Does it mean more for people to be fake just to impress others? I really don’t know. I just know that being real is what I want to be all my life even though that means loosing people who aren’t on the same vibe as I’m.

You know that feeling when you see someone who used to be your friend but you don’t even talk much anymore and then they ask you how are you are doing and about your life? Well, I just don’t want to talk about the truth with certain people as many people are only curious, want to gossip around about the things you said and don’t even care at all. They will tell you how awesome their life is and all that fake stuff which I can’t deal with. I just always have to lie about things in my life which I don’t like because I want to be real. In those moments I just don’t know what to say. I don’t like lying but I also don’t like to share intimate stuff with people who don’t even care. It’s none of their business you know. I have always been that sweet, innocent girl and I still am in some ways but I also don’t want that people take adventage of me anymore because of my soft personality.

I’m maybe not the only one who think they are behind in life. I know life is not a timeline of things we have to achieve at a certain age but society constantly throws it on our face. It’s hard to not look away from it and think about it in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep. When I say to people in The Netherlands I still live at home they look strange at me. In Spain children live like for so long with their parents. I really love that family is important in Spain as when the parents are older the children care about them. I think that’s also a normal thing to do when your parents have cared about you your whole life. I love my parents and they are the most important people in my life together with my whole family and all my friends in real life and online of course ๐Ÿ’–. It’s just that society will not stop with these messages. We have to know that it’s our life and that everything is okay. We have to tell ourselves that everything we do in life is at the right time. We are all different and we all lead different lives. If we would be all the same it would be pretty boring.

I also have to remind myself that I’m doing my best and that that is enough. People think anxiety is an excuse for not doing certain things such as working. I would love to feel good and be able to do a good job. I’m applying for jobs but often don’t hear back. They will say I’m lazy, don’t try hard enough or that the things which takes me effort cause me anxiety. It’s true that working, going to the dentist, doctors and all that stuff scare me and cause me anxiety and sometimes also panic attacks. It’s not my fault. I don’t get anxiety when I travel only during the flight or when I have fun with my friends at a concert. I guess some people think that people who suffer from a mental illness just make everything up so that we don’t have to work or do scary stuff. I’m happy with the friends, family, blogging community, pen pals and the yoga girl community. I love all your support and appreciate it so much ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ™. I also heard lately how I’m not doing an effort of feeling better because of suffering of anxiety. I don’t know if going to therapy would help me because I was vomiting and nauseous all the time when I went to speak to someone a few years ago. I don’t want to go through that again. Going to doctors, dentists and all that stuff makes me anxious so yeah it’s a circle where I don’t go of so I don’t know what to do.

I just wish that we all will achieve our dreams. I have so many dreams but I don’t know how to reach them and that’s when I get stuck and can’t move forward out of fear. We all deserve to achieve our dreams and live a life we are happy about. I hope that we can all find that happiness we are looking for โœจ. I also just wish people would be more understanding these days especially for the ones who are struggling. I will keep raising awareness about mental health. It helps for me to be vulnerable enough to write it all down. Maybe it will help someone to feel less alone. Maybe you also feel this way and can share it with me. Maybe we can help each other and find a way out of this mess. Life is a beautiful mess and I’m so happy to be on this road all together. May we laugh. May we cry. May we always stick together for the end of our times ๐Ÿ’–.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all understand what I just told you about. Can you relate to my feelings? Do you also feel like everyone is living their best life while you feel behind? How are you doing in life right now? Let me know lovelies. I will be always be there for you like you all are there for me โค๏ธ. That will never change. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Poem: How would my life be without fear?

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

This will be just a short post about a poem I made a month ago. I still feel this way though. It’s good to put my thoughts and feelings in words. I hope you will understand what I feel with this poem I made. I often feel like I’m just surviving and existing in life than that I’m really living the life I want. I’m afraid of death and I shared those thoughts in this blog post a while ago. However, I’m also afraid of life because I’m not living a life that brings me happiness because of anxiety. I hope that that will change in the future ๐Ÿ™.

๐‘ฏ๐’๐’˜ ๐’˜๐’๐’–๐’๐’… ๐’Ž๐’š ๐’๐’Š๐’‡๐’† ๐’ƒ๐’† ๐’˜๐’Š๐’•๐’‰๐’๐’–๐’• ๐’‡๐’†๐’‚๐’“?

My life would be so different because I wouldn’t feel so extremely anxious for everyday life things such as going to the dentist or going to the doctors.

I would follow my dreams and know that I can reach them like getting a job in Spain and writing a poetry book.

I would join a choir again or do something with singing for sure because I love to sing ๐ŸŽถ It makes me so happy ๐Ÿ’—. Music is life like I always say.

I wouldn’t be afraid of death because I know that my life is purposeful and fulfilling.

I would speak up in real life more instead of hiding myself and avoiding people and confrontation.

I wouldn’t think all the time that people are angry at me.

I would be more happy with myself and with my life.

I would go into the ocean and learn to actually surf waves ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ and maybe even big waves.

I would let go of the past and be less afraid of the future.

I would deal better with having changes in my life.

I would travel the world ๐ŸŒ and go to amazing places like Aruba ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ผ, Costa Rica ๐ŸŒž, Hawaii ๐ŸŒด and California ๐ŸŒŠ. I would go to the @yoga_girl retreat in Aruba and have the time of my life.

I would live my life the way I want and be less afraid of what people think of me.

I would let go of others expectations.

I would know how to deal with anxiety better.

But most of all, 
I would just be much more happier, be more at peace with myself and live the life I dream of.

Hopefully, one day I can say that I made it ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’— after all the hard times I have faced in my life.

That’s what I and we all deserve.

To live a life we are happy about, do the things we love to do with the people we love.

Thank you all so much for reading my poem. I hope you all liked it ๐Ÿ’—. Do you also feel that way in life? How do you deal with fear in life? Are you more of facing your fears or running away from them? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Life is for the living ๐Ÿ’—๐ŸŒŒ

Hey lovely bloggers ๐Ÿ’•,

Today I want to write about something I thought one night and still think sometimes. These are some thoughts which I think a lot of and can’t seem to let them go. I hope you can understand them and can somehow relate to them. I miss sharing my thoughts and feelings on here which was also the reason I began this blog. I just felt the need to write them down and what better way to share them here on my blog.

So, one Summer night I was sitting in the car with my friends and we were driving back home from celebrating a birthday of our friend. I was looking at the stars from the window of the car and thought of life. I think a lot of this life we are living. I thought about the purpose of life. I think a lot of it actually. I thought of the universe โœจ . It always amazes me and also terrifies me at the same time. We are a drop in the ocean like a drop in the universe. We are nothing compared to the big universe yet we are everything. Life wouldn’t be the same without us all here. Sometimes when I feel bad I think this life is worthless and I don’t understand why I’m living. It makes me feel worse as I think of all the pain and injustice in the world. I often think that it’s difficult to be that sensitive girl in this hard world. People can be so mean and really life can be so so hard and break your whole heart ๐Ÿ’”.

However, I still believe even though during those times that I’m struggling or feeling anxious that we are here living this life for a reason. Even when life breaks our heart in many ways we are here for a reason. In those moments when I look up at the sky and see the stars โœจ shining so brightly and see the moon ๐ŸŒœ๐ŸŒ› following us while we are driving I get emotional. It’s just amazing to think how we all ended up here and our living this life in this beautiful world. We may not always find it beautiful and life can be so hard but there are still moments like this that make it all worth it. I truly believe in that. I’m grateful for all the good people I have in my life. I love my family and friends. I love my blogging friends, pen pal friends and I love to be in the Yoga Girl community. Life is all about sharing love to ourselves and giving that love to others ๐Ÿ’—. That’s why we are living this life.

Those moments I look up at the sky while being at the backseat of the car of my friend I began to think of my purpose in life. Am I doing some purposeful things in life? I’m still looking for a job and feel like I don’t have my life together. I’m still struggling with anxiety about getting a job, going to the dentist or other everyday life things. It’s all okay because I’m still living this life the best I can. I may not earn money from the things I do right now in life but at least I can say I’m making people happy. At least I’m trying, really I am. Even when some people from the outside think we aren’t doing our best, we really are. Don’t compare yourself to someone else their highs in life. We all go through ups and downs in life. Not everyone shows it. This blog means so much for me. I’m able to speak my thoughts and emotions out loud and can help people who struggle with life or feel alone. I have always thought that I’m here to help others and that helping others will heal me too ๐Ÿ’—. I truly believe that’s true. I love to share the truth, be honest and be vulnerable with myself and with you all.

Eventually the universe will give us what we want at the moment we need it. We have to take action but what’s meant to be, will be. At least, that’s what I believe in. I also believe that of course having a job and earning money is important to become independent and be able to care for yourself but the little moments in life are what makes life beautiful. You can earn millions of money, be famous and still feel unhappy. Maybe you are only doing it for the money but you don’t feel purposeful. That will not give you the happiness in life you need. We live for those little moments in life such as seeing a baby smiling at his parents, swimming in the ocean on a Summer day, feeling the warmth on your skin or drinking a tea with your mother during a cold Winter night. All the big things like getting a promotion at work, marriage or getting a new house will not mean anything if you don’t appreciate the little moments in between. Those extra ordinary moments are what make this life beautiful ๐ŸŒŸ .

At the end of our lives, it’s all about how much love you gave to yourself and to others. You will also remind yourself of all the beautiful memories you made, the friendships you made along the way, the places you have been to, the books you have read, the journals you have written, the music you have played and danced along. It’s all about love because that’s what matters the most in life. To love and be loved. You won’t remember the bad times as much as the good times. Your happiness is the most important thing that you will be reminded of. Never ever forget that. You deserve all the good things in life.

It’s all about living a life according to your values and not impressing people you don’t even like. When I got bullied during high school I was always thinking that if I changed myself maybe then those bullies would like me and treat me differently. Thinking of this back I know now that it wasn’t okay to think that way as I don’t have to change myself for anybody. We are all different and that’s what makes us all beautiful. We aren’t here to impress people. We are here to help ourselves and others. We are here to heal ourselves. We are here to feel peace within ourselves. We are here to love each other no matter what. We are here to give hope to people who have lost it. We are here to live because life is for the living.

This song also inspired me to write this post. I love the music of Passenger. This song is called Life’s for the living.

“Don’t you cry for the lost
Smile for the living
Get what you need and give what you’re given
Life’s for the living so live it
Or you’re better off dead”

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I really liked writing it. I wrote it when I got a lot of inspiration. I always get inspired by looking up at the sky and seeing the shining stars in the sky. Did you too get inspired? What do you think of living a purposeful life? What do you think your purpose is in life? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Happy two year blogging anniversary! ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŒปโœŒ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽ‚

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

Today I want to talk about something really important which is about this special day. Today my blog turned two years old! ๐ŸŽ‰ I’m so happy about it and also feel very proud of this accomplishment. To be honest I always get easily bored and also quit easily when things get hard. I’m happy that I sticked around and never gave up on blogging because it makes me so happy. I wouldn’t know where I would be without my blog. I can’t believe how fast time is going by. They always say time flies when you are having fun and that’s definitely true. I will share you in this post some of the reasons why I started blogging, some words about my appreciation for you all and some funny statistics like I did last year in this blog post ๐Ÿ’•.

Yeahhh the official announcement! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽ‰
The collage I made for all of you! ๐Ÿ˜

I’m just so happy that I kept blogging and never stopped. I used to blog more but now I prefer to post 4 or 5 times a month. I don’t have another blogging schedule. I prefer to post just when I have inspiration and want to. I never want to turn my blog in something that I have to do. I do it because it’s fun and I love it. Blogging makes me so happy. I love to interact with you all. I never knew that I would meet so many amazing and beautiful people like you all are ๐Ÿ˜ You all mean the world to me. I really wouldn’t know what I would do without you all.

I also always felt the need to write ๐Ÿ“ . I have loved writing since I have been little. I used to write in a diary when I was younger. I still have so many journals and notebooks at home but I don’t use it that much. I only write there sometimes some poems or use it as scrapbook. I want to use it more or make a bullet journal. I always say that I’m going to that and at the end nothing happens ๐Ÿ˜‚. I find blogging easier to do so whenever I have some thoughts or emotions I want to let go of. I always use my blog for that.

I never knew that my blog would grow so much and would attract so many people. I love to write about mental health, self love, feminism, travel trips, photography, poetry and books. I love to not have a niche as I love to write about a lot of things. This year I wrote some book related posts such as hauls and reviews. I also love that I share almost every month a music post about the music I loved that month or new music which came out ๐ŸŽถ. I love to discover new music too. I would love to share more singing covers as I love to sing and I would love to share that more with you all ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽค. I also thought of making a YouTube channel but I still don’t know if I will ever make that happen. If anyone has any ideas of posts you want to see on my blog, please let me know.

I’m just so grateful to have you all in my life ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ™ . I like that my blog is growing and that I get more followers but what’s more important than all the numbers are all the friendships I’ve made through blogging. You guys are da best and mean the most to me. I love my real life friends, pen pals and the friends I made through blogging. This community is just so powerful and so beautiful โœจ. Everytime I feel my life is turning upside down and I feel like the clouds are crying with me I turn to my blog and I begin to write about everything what’s on my mind no matter how dark or heavy it’s.

You are always there for me and listen to me. I appreciate that so much. I love your advice but what I love the most is just to know that I’m not alone in my struggles and that theres’s someone who understands me and cares about me even when we never have met. I truly believe that online friends are real friends too. I can’t wait to meet you all one day. We will ALWAYS be friends โค๏ธ๐ŸŒน. I don’t say that just to say something nice. I really mean it.

I keep saying that nowadays we live in such a fake world where we are told to hide our feelings and not be vulnerable. We are told not to share our struggles because it’s better to not fall apart. Well, sometimes it’s good to fall apart and to cry. We have to let everything go. For me, singing and writing is a beautiful form of letting my thoughts go. It’s a way of healing. We all have our own ways of how to go through life. I think it’s important to have that because otherwise we hold everything in ourselves which at the end is much worse. We can’t have all our thoughts in our mind because at the end we will explode. We have to let it out in any form which works for you.

I also would like to share now some nice statistics of this blogging year. I hope you find them interesting too haha ๐Ÿ˜‚ . I have so many more views and visitors compared to last year so I’m really happy about that.

Some blogging statistics:

Followers: 379 (Last year I had 212, so I gain 167 followers yeahhh!)

Blog posts: 158

Visitors: 5239

Views: 9742 (Almost 10.000 wow!)

Best day: April the 7th, the day I got the most views

Day most popular: Friday, yeahhh weekend vibes! (19%)

Hour most popular: 9:00 PM (7%)

Some of my blog posts wich are the most popular and got the most views were:

The differences between everyday anxiety and an anxiety disorder (65 views)

Today it’s my 26th birthday forever young yeahhh (66 views)

April favourites (73 views)

Loving you is a loosing game (86 views)

Do you think it’s possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return (534 views, this post is from September 2017 and still get so many views which I’m very proud of)

Top 10 countries that have visited my blog:

I find this such an amazing thing to look at when I look at the statistics. So many people from all over the world visit my blog ๐ŸŒ. It’s crazy! I think it’s amazing. Sometimes I also see countries which I don’t know such as Swaziland, Lesotho or The European Union lol that’s not a country. I exactly know which bloggers friends visit my blog when I look at the stats haha. Thank you all so much! ๐Ÿ’•

1. United States (1682 views)

2. United Kingdom (792 views)

3. Netherlands (597 views including me when I’m there haha)

4. India (431 views)

5. Canada (294 views)

6. Spain (288 views including me)

7. Australia (218 views)

8. South Africa (151 views)

9. Ireland (144 views)

10. Philippines (86 views)

Thank you all so much for following my blog and for giving me so much love with all the comments and likes you give me. I’m thankful for all the lessons I learned this year. I still don’t know if I ever am going to earn money with blogging. What was funny one day when I was at home in Holland with my family was that my father said how you could earn money while blogging. He said that it must be something for me as he knows I love to write. I never told him as I don’t want everyone to know about my blog. I just love this safe space where I can share freely without being afraid of judgment. I love that like almost everyone on here are people who I don’t know in real life. I would love to meet you all but I just love that I can be 100% myself and be honest without thinking oh no that person knows me from this, I can’t say that. This is my blog without any filters. It’s just the truth.

However, maybe in the future I would love to upgrade my account to premium or even business to have more space and to design my blog better. First, I need money for that. I just will keep blogging my whole life. Sometimes I will blog more and sometimes less. I will always stick to be myself. I never want to impress people. I just want to help others in need and heal myself too while writing. Everyone here is welcome no matter what your religion, sexuality, race or nationality is. We are all one. We are all human. I hope you will all follow this adventure called life with the ups and the downs with me. I love you all with my whole heart โ™ฅ.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. What do you love about my blog? What kind of changes or topics would you love to see on my blog? Do you also think that writing can heal our hearts? Do you also think that internet friends can be real friends too? Do you think we will ever meet in person? I would love to know your thoughts on this. I will keep writing from the heart. Always. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

I love you all so much, to infinity and beyond, to the moon and back ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒœ๐ŸŒ›๐ŸŒŸโœจ,

xoxo Christina

June favourites ๐ŸŒž๐ŸŽ‰

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

For I begin, I would like to thank you all so much for all your support on my last blog post. You guys mean the most to me! ๐Ÿ’— I’m so thankful to always have this amazing community to be there for me. I love you all so much ๐Ÿ’•

I was dying the day I wrote this because it was so hot. There was a heatwave in Spain. It was 40 degrees in Valladolid. I was staying inside because I didn’t felt good because of it and because of my period. I can’t wait to go swimming this week when I don’t have my period anymore and feel better. The temperature is going down to 30 degrees which is perfect. I’m going to tell you in this blog post all about my June favourites such as celebrating my birthday with my family and friends, Summer time, the delicious food I’ve eaten and other amazing things.

Things I did with my family ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ :

My birthday celebration ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽ

It was my birthday on the first of June. I turned 26 years young haha. You can read my summary of my 25th year here. I had to cry on my birthday because of having my period and I just felt so emotional. I was feeling like I don’t have my life together and I still feel that way. However, I have to think that we all have our own time in life to do things and make things happen. I also enjoyed my birthday with my mother, the brother and mother of Verรณnica which came to visit us. We ate a delicious chocolate cake and I blew the candles. I hope my wish will come true. I got amazing presents such as much stationery, a beautiful shirt, make up, flower headbands, jewelry and more. I also got a lot of beautiful handwritten cards.

I will show that with you all this month in a haul since I had to wait until I got everything to take pictures. My mother also bought me a lovely purple balloon and decorated our home. In the evening we went to eat dinner all three in my favourite restaurant called Elany. The bad thing was that we went late so there wasn’t much food left. We could enjoy some cheese, salad and chorizo. I was drinking a delicious grape fruit drink. I went home early because I felt bad because of my period. My mother went for a drink with the family of Verรณnica.

Celebrating my birthday with family

Eating delicious food with mamita ๐Ÿฒ

I ate so much delicious food this month. I love to eat outside especially when I’m in Spain as the food is so good and also so healthy. The Mediterranean diet is just the best. I ate twice in the big shopping mall El Corte Inglรฉs. We love to eat a sandwich ham & cheese with potatoes. You get free mayo, ketchup and anything you want. In Holland every sauce cost money. I also ate in a new restaurant called Rodilla which I discovered with mamita. We ate a delicious sandwich together with croquettes which were just โ‚ฌ1, so cheap!!! We also ate one day eggs with potatoes together with jรกmon serrano in my fav restaurant Elany near to my house, another day I ate a delicious tortilla de patata and paella. It’s my favourite Spanish food together with paella.

Delicious Spanish food

Milkshake time ๐Ÿฅค๐Ÿจ๐Ÿง

I LOVE ICE CREAMS, MILKSHAKES AND SMOOTHIES SO MUCH!!! I love to drink this delicious chocolate milkshake with whipped cream so much. Also the waiter is such a lovely man and we always have a good talk with him. He knows us very well. My mother was drinking a tea with ice cubes. We also got free olives which I love very much.

Drinking chocolate milkshake with my mother

Enjoying sunny days โ˜€๏ธ

I enjoyed some sunny days with my mother on the fake beach here. Here in Valladolid there’s not a real beach just an artificial one with sand. We have a river but it’s dirty to swim there. I was reading the Dutch psychology magazine while my mother was reading another magazine on the bench. It’s nice to enjoy the sunshine while there wasn’t a heatwave. We also enjoyed a nice walk along the river.

Enjoying sunny days

Things I did with my lovely friends ๐Ÿ’•:

Celebrating my birthday with my friends ๐ŸŽŠ๐Ÿ’—

I had such an awesome night celebrating my birthday with my friends at the restaurant Eh Voila ๐Ÿ’•. I made a reservation for the Greek restaurant but when we arrived they said it was closed. It was full of water haha that never happened before. There are so many restaurants in Valladolid so it’s easy to choose another good one. I love the creperie Eh Voila. I had a delicious Italian crepe with champignons, cheese, ham, mozzarella, and tomato. It was like a pizza so delicious. My friends ate also crepes, salad and spaghetti. As dessert I had a delicious ice cream of yoghurt and vanilla. I went here many times and now the decoration and everything is new ๐Ÿ˜โœจ It’s so beautiful.

After eating a delicious dinner we went to drink something on a terrace. We also went dancing at Juanita yeahhh fiesta time! ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐ŸŽ‰ It was such a long time ago that we did that as friends group. The only time I felt anxious was when I went to the toilet at Juanita because I felt like I couldn’t go out. I’m always so anxious about being closed up somewhere. I’m so happy with all my lovely friends. I wouldn’t know where I would be without all of them. Thank you for being there for me ALWAYS! I’m also thankful for all the lovely presents I got. They are da best. It’s so nice to have the best friends of the two countries ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ Having friends in so many countries is the best thing ever. Thank you for making me so happy. I’m so blessed to know you all. I love you all so much ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ญ

Celebrating my birthday with my lovely friends

Friend visiting Valladolid

I was so happy that my good friend from Granada came to visit me all the way from Madrid for my birthday celebration with my friends. It’s almost already 4 years since we were all in New York City during the Many Languages, One World forum. We all spoke at the United Nations and it was just a once in a life time experience. I met a lot of awesome people during that week. I love MLOW reunions and hope to meet many of this group soon too! I miss you all ๐Ÿ’—

I’m happy to have showed my friend Valladolid together with my mother. We visited the churches San Pablo, La Antigua, the Cathedral, saw the university of Valladolid and La Plaza Mayor. We saw it by night and by daylight ๐Ÿ˜‚ It was 25 degrees so perfect weather for sightseeing ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐ŸŒž We also ate a delicious meal in Bar Pablo which is just 100m from our house. It’s so cheap and the menu is delicious. I ate paella, potatoes with meat, and a delicious flan ๐Ÿฎ with whipping cream. Valladolid is such a beautiful city and I’m so happy to call it my home as well as Haarlem of course ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Two of my fav cities ever. It was a beautiful weekend. I can’t wait to go to the south of Spain again soon! See ya soon mi amigo! Granada here I come oleeee! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒด

Visiting Valladolid with my lovely friend

Birthday of my Spanish friend

We celebrated the birthday of our Spanish friend Sandra in the village of a friend of her. She has a house in a village near to Valladolid. It’s 30 minutes by car. We had a delicious bbq outside in that house with 9 friends of her. We had a nice time and enjoyed it a lot. We talked a lot about sex lol and other subjects ๐Ÿ˜‚ I love to talk about anything. When I feel comfortable with people I can talk about anything. I was happy it was during the evening since it was 40 degrees during the day. At night it was just 20 degrees oufff much better. She loved our present which were two fancy champagne glasses. Sometimes I don’t like to meet with a group of people because it makes me anxious but it was fine. We also ate a delicious chocolate pie ๐Ÿฅง and we played Jenga. They said I’m very good at it and it’s because I played it during my childhood a lot. I’m used to build big towers without letting them falling down hahah. I also loved how you could see the stars shine so brightly because there are no city lights. I’m in love with the universe ๐ŸŒŸโœจ

Celebrating the birthday of my friend in a little Spanish village

Other nice things of June:

Summer time ๐Ÿ˜Ž

It’s officially Summer time! ๐ŸŒž I’m so happy my favourite season is back. I survived the heatwave ๐Ÿ”ฅ at the end of the month which was way too hot for me. I love 30 degrees but 40 degrees is really way too hot for me. Even my mother suffered through the heatwave. I hope I can enjoy Summer time much and have fun! It’s the time that I’m mostly the most happy in life. I love to go to the beach, go swimming and travel a lot.

Officially Summer time

San Juan ๐Ÿ”ฅ

I didn’t went to San Juan this year but my mother went and got me some delicious churros ๐Ÿ˜‹. San Juan is an evening at the end of June were we welcome the beginning of the Summer. It’s typical to do it on the beach but here we have a fake beach like I said. There is a big bonfire and there are things to eat and drink. There’s also a lot of music to dance on ๐ŸŽถ. It’s a tradition to write down all the bad things that happened that year and burn it in the fire. You also write some wishes down for the next year which you keep at home. It’s a magical night.

The bonfire of San Juan and churros

Stationery and pen pal letters ๐Ÿ–‹๏ธ๐Ÿ’—

Last but not least, I bought some nice stationery stuff. I bought some nice stickers with hearts, flowers and stars and also some other cute ones. I also received some nice pen pal letters from Chloe (as well as birthday presents such as a beautiful painting of palmtrees she made ๐ŸŒด, cards, notebook, pencil and body masks), a beautiful letter from a new pen pal Vikki, from Jess and from the lovely Sophia (I loved all the goodies from you so much such as the beautiful cards, stickers and geen earrings). I love you all so much. Pen palling is awesome and I’m so happy I have now more and more pen pals to write too! ๐Ÿ˜ Writing letters and receiving letters makes me so happy.

Stationery and beautiful pen pal letters

Thank you all for reading this blog post. What were you favourites of June? What did you like from my list? Are you already enjoying Summer time? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina