I see humans but no humanity πŸ’”πŸ˜’

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I wanted to write a more happier post but I always want to be honest on my blog so I won’t do that. I’m always vulnerable and real on my blog. I always write straight from my heart. Writing straight from my heart also gives me the most inspiration. I don’t like to plan blog posts. It has to flow like life too. These days I don’t feel okay so I will write about my feelings and thoughts. I hope you are all okay and safe. I’m here for you too. This blog post will be about my health, how I feel and about humanity. It feels good to write it all down and have a more sense of peace in my mind.

I was very happy the first days I arrived in Spain. I have been eating delicious tapas, ice creams 🍦🍨🍧, milkshakes, enjoyed the sunshine 🌞 and went swimming a lot πŸŠβ€β™€οΈ. The last days I have felt low and kinda depressed. I also had my period so I’m always more sensitive to everything during that time of the month. Besides, I’m really tired and my throat hurts a lot when I swallow, drink or eat something. It feels like it’s swollen too. If anyone knows me well, you know how anxious I’m about dentists or doctors so I will wait a few more days. The bad thing is that nowadays many people think easily oh no it’s Corona when you can have something else. I don’t have fever or anything. I just hope that it will go away soon. I really want to feel better again.

I also am beginning to feel anxious again to have to go to the dentist in two weeks. I still have to get rid of three wisdom teeth but it’s really draining me. I’m so done with it. It makes me so anxious 😒🦷. The dentist and his team are very lovely but it’s still no fun. Again feeling numb, then not eating a few days and taking meds for pain. It was worse than I imagined but still not fun. The anxiety I feel is always worse than the thing itself. Anxiety is a monster and I would love to be able to tame it one day. I will use valium to calm myself down. I’m so grateful for my mother who is always there for me to hold my hand and be at my side. I couldn’t do anything scary without her help. I really would be so lost. I love her so much. She is the kindest and most loveliest person ever.

I’m a highly sensitive person which means that I feel every emotion more. I feel others suffering more and also love more. It’s a gift but can also be a curse sometimes. I feel others pain deeply. Some of my friends are dealing with emotional stuff. I feel them. I feel people suffering from the pandemic. It hurts me so much to see so much pain in the world. I have been feeling very emotional and sad too these days. I can’t deal with people doing bad things to good people. It breaks my heart πŸ’”. Why is there so much hate in this world? Why can’t people just be nice and kind to each other or is that too much to ask for? I really would love to have some answers on that but I don’t have. I don’t know why bad things happen to good people. It’s so unfair.

I have felt this way too because of the harrasment which yoga_girl is receiving just because she said that’s better not to travel now to Aruba from a country with a high risk of the virus. Aruba suffers from an economic crisis because it depends on tourism. I can understand that but the health and safety of the citizens are more important. I think that’s obvious. I just can’t understand how people find it okay to treathening other people lives. It’s so scary. Rachel and her family have received hate and what’s worse than that is threats. They even stalked their house. I’m happy they are safe now. It would be a shame if they have to move because of some locals being aggressive to them. I’m so happy to be part of the yoga community and will forever be βœ¨πŸ™πŸ’–. We are all here for you guys. Rachel, you are such a light in this world and have healed so many hearts including mine. I’m still healing though. I can’t thank you enough. Be safe. I love you so much.

I have also noticed that I feel more like myself these days. The more I feel, the more I feel like myself because this is who I’m. I get anxious, I get depressed, I feel low but I also can be happy and feel gratitude in my heart. I feel it all. Even though sometimes I find it really hard to live in this world because there are so many scary things and bad people out there too. I’m grateful for the good people I have in my life. I’m so happy to have this beautiful blogging community too who’s always there for me too. I can’t wait to meet you all one day and thank you. You are always there for me when I’m sad and celebrate my happy days. We will always stick together forever.

I wish there would be more people like you all in this world πŸ’žπŸ™. Sometimes I definitely feel like there are so many bad people and things out there. I get scared and anxious and feel such a heavy feeling on my shoulders. I wish for peace, respect and compassion and being one with the world. What the world needs right now is union and not more separation 🌍. There’s already too much of that and it didn’t bring anything good.

May we all find the light and love in our own hearts and spread it to the world ✨. This world needs healing, so much love, compassion and kindness. It will never be enough. What this world needs right now is a group hug which would be now in distance with the pandemic but you all understand what I mean. More love, less hate. More compassion, less cold-hearted people.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you can understand and respect my feelings. How are you feeling lately? Are you also anxious of going to the doctor or dentist? What do you think of humanity? Do you also find it unfair that bad things happen to good people? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post. Be safe you all and remember we are never alone in our struggles. Like I always say, we are always in this together πŸ’ͺπŸ’–.

I love you all so much πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

April favourites πŸ’•πŸŒž

Hola lovelies πŸ’•,

I have been sad for a few days and cried a lot because of the death of 5 surfers which I wrote in this blog post. When that sadness past I was griefing about a good friend of my mother who died a few days ago in Spain 😒. He had cancer. We knew it because of people posting sad posts on his Facebook and he didn’t answer anymore on Whatsapp. I felt so sad too and cried much because he was always so nice to us. I’m happy we can still have contact with his sister. He felt like a father for me and understood my anxiety and was always so supportive for me. Just writing this I cry again. I have enough of grief and crying really. I just hate death and I know it’s part of life but it’s the most horrible feeling ever. Life is just unfair because good and honest people always die earlier than the other ones. On a happy note, let’s move on to this blog post. I did some nice stuff in April. Who says being in lockdown has to be boring?! I will share the 30 days of space challenge I did by Yoga Girl πŸ™, the new leggings I bought and beautiful sunny days in the park.

Things I did with my lovely family πŸ‘ͺ:

First ice cream of the year 🍦

I love ice cream so much 😍🍧. I ate my first ice cream of the year with my mother. We went to IJsboertje which is just 5 min. away from our house. We had to take it with us and eat it somewhere else. We ate in the park. My flavours were white chocolate and vanilla and my mother had lemon ice cream. It was all so delicious. I can’t wait to go back!

My Spanish niece got a baby πŸ‘Ά

My Spanish niece got her first baby boy and I’m so happy for her!!! I can’t share a picture unfortunately because of privacy but he looked so cute. They live in Basque country. I can’t wait to be able to go again to Spain to visit them with my parents. My niece is 43 years old and it just reminds me that it’s never too late to have a baby at that age or be married or whatever. Society always creates those rules but we have to decide or own rules in life. We only have one life so let’s live it the way we want and not what society ask us to do.

Sunny days in the park & in the garden 🌞✌

We have had a beautiful April month of many days of sunshine and 20 degrees. I love to enjoy my time in the garden with my mother. I also loved to walk in the park and enjoy nature. It’s so nice to live so close near nature 😍. I also love to go to our lake because I always need to be surrounded by water. Water is still and makes me feel calm and peaceful. It’s all I need and I’m so grateful for that. I would literally die right now if I would be in a small flat. In Spain we don’t have a big house or garden so the lockdown would be worse for us. In the garden I read, chill, daydream, listen to music, write, meditate and just enjoy life.

Birthday of my brother and his wife πŸŽ‰πŸŽˆ

It was the birthday of my brother the 18th of April and of his wife at the end of April. We couldn’t celebrate it with the family of course. It made me sad but I know we will soon be reunited again when it’s possible. We wrote some cards for them and my present for them was a canvas with some pictures together. One is from the wedding of them, another one from the park and with the family together. I’m happy they liked it. My mother brought some flowers for them too. I only went one time to their appartment and saw them on a distance. It was nice to be able to talk to them but also strange. Not being able to hug your loved ones is just the most heartbreaking thing ever. I need hugs in life. The world need a group hug which will hopefully come soon again πŸ’–πŸ™.

Netflix subscription 🎬

I joined Netflix just for a few months which is really nice. I love to be able to watch series and movies on Netflix. The only thing I don’t like is that some movies or series are not on Netflix. I also would like to watch Disney movies but I don’t want to also have a subcription on Disney+ because of the money. I really love the movies and series which are only made for Netflix.

Easter time 🐣🐀πŸ₯

We always celebrate it with the whole family but of course this year is different. I’m happy I could celebrate it with my parents. We had a delicious fondue with potatoes. We also ate delicious chocolate eggs and cakes. It was all so delicious. What I loved the most was of course the blackberry juice with fruits and whipped cream πŸ˜πŸ‡. My daddy plucked those years ago and it’s a tradition of his family to make this. I LOVE these kinds of traditions so much. The juice is so delicious and so healthy too. I love my family forevah.

Other amazing things of April πŸ’–:

New leggings from Shein πŸ‘–

I bought some amazing yoga leggings from the website Shein. I really like them and they were not expensive at all. I really needed to have some nice leggings. They are colourful and have flowers πŸ’πŸŒΈ on it so I don’t need more. It fits perfectly. I’m really happy about it! I made some nice pictures in the park with them on.

Pen pal letters πŸ’Œ

I got some beautiful pen pal letters this month. I got some beautiful mail from Chloe who is one of my best friends ever. I love you so much soulsister. She makes beautiful art with a flower theme, a moon theme or anything beautiful for her page on Etsy. You can check it out. She made a beautiful painting of some flowers and sent me a nice letter together with stickers. I also got a cute letter from Rosie from UK. It was full of beautiful notes, glitter stickers with unicorns and hearts, quotes and a beautiful letter. I loved the stickers with the quote ”Friends are special treasures of the heart.” I also loved the card with the quote ”I am at peace with my age.” I agree that every age is beautiful and that society just creates expectations which aren’t real and only create unhappiness and unnecessary stress and anxiety.

I also got a beautiful letter from Agata from Poland. I loved the writing paper so much. I also loved the cute stickers and the card of Warsaw was beautiful. I loved the colours and the flowers on it. I wish to go to Poland once and visit you. I want to meet all of my online friends one day. I know that dream will come true one day and it will be the happiest day of my life. I love you all so much πŸ˜πŸ’• xoxo.

30 days of space challenge by Yoga Girl πŸ™

I did the 30 days of space challenge by Yoga Girl which is my biggest inspiration in life 😍. I never commited to a 30 days of yoga challenge so it was a nice way to enjoy yoga again. I only took some classes in my life and did it at home. Every day we did yoga on the website of Yoga Girl for free. This challenge was made to create space in our hearts, our bodies and our minds as we find ourselves in a time of physical space and distancing. Also, every day there was a theme. We meditated together, felt our feelings and pulled a card every day. One day we had to build our own sacred altar, go outside and enjoy nature or shake our bodies to remove negative energy. It was soooo good. I’m so happy I met amazing new pen pal friends. I love to be spiritual, do yoga, meditate, and there are not much many friends of mine who align with that aswell. It’s nice to have this beautiful Yoga Girl community. I love them so much.

Since that challenge is over I’m still doing yoga every damn day and it helps me so much with being more calm and easing anxiety πŸ™. Anxiety will not go away but yoga and meditation gives you the tool to sit with it and be able to let it go at some point. We have to sit with our feelings to be able to let them go. I also thought yoga was only about handstands and being flexible but it isn’t. I’m not that flexible but I have fun, feel my feelings, cry a lot and I’m happy when I practice. That’s yoga. I can’t wait to go to her retreat in Aruba one day. That’s one of my BIG dreams and is on my bucketlist 🌠✨.

Got a free month subscription for the Yoga Girl website 😍

When I was doing the 30 day challenge some strangers were gifting a free subscription to people. I also got a free month subscription. I felt very grateful and so happy. It’s so nice that people gift things without something in return. I wish more people were like that in real life too. I just don’t have much money for a subscription so it was nice to be able to do yoga for free on the website after the challenge. You also get free live classes with Yoga Girl which are SO amazing and a Yoga E-Book and astrology workbook. If you get the year subscription you get a t-shirt for free. I wish to have that one day.

Lush bath πŸ›

I had a nice bath and used a bath bomb from Lush. It was the intergalatic one. It had such a good smell of peppermint. The blue, pink colours and glitter that came out of it were beyond amazing! This was a beautiful experience where I could just bath in the universe itself 😍✨. It was like bathing in stardust. I 100% recommend this bath bomb for you all. I always listen to some beautiful music too while I’m laying in bath.

Watched To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You, Chicken Run and Isn’t it romantic 🎬

I watched some nice movies in April. I loved the second movie of To All the Boys. I love the actors and just everything. However, I loved the first movie more. In the second movie you knew a bit what would happen. I also watched the movie Chicken Run with my parents. It was a cute movie. The movie was about chickens who were living on a chicken farm and the mean owners wanted to make pie of them so they invented a plan to escape. I also watched Isn’t it romantic with my mother. I love the actress Rebel Wilson which also is known from Pitch Perfect. I love that it wasn’t a cliche love story. It had a great message about loving ourselves and the music was also nice. We don’t need someone to love ourselves because we are already whole.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. What was your favourite thing from my list? What did you do in April? Did you also enjoy some sunshine in the garden or park? Do you do love to do yoga, meditation or be spiritual? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

The 50 bookish questions book tag πŸ“šπŸ’žπŸ’«βœ¨πŸ“–

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

This is going to be a different blog post then what I normally do as I have never done this before. I searched for a book tag on here and I came across some nice questions about books. I found the 50 bookish questions on this blog post. I really like reading and want to read more. I keep buying books but I’m a slow reader so it doesn’t work that well I guess haha. I hope you will like this tag. I’m sure there are more book lovers out there πŸ˜πŸ“–. I already know some of my lovely blogging friends who love to read too. This is for all of you. I hope you will like it.

1.) What was the last book you read?

To love and let go: A memoir of love, loss and gratitude by Rachel Brathen (Yoga Girl).

2). Was it a good one?

YEAHHH OMG IT WAS AMAZING. ONE OF MY FAV BOOKS EVER 😍😭. I cried so much.

3.) What made it good?

I don’t want to say a lot about it because I want to dedicate one blog post reviewing this book because it was so beautiful. It needs it’s own post. It was such a beautiful book because it was so raw, vulnerable and emotional. It was the real life story of Rachel about love, loss and gratitude. I love that in the hardships of life she finds gratitude. She just wrote this book from her heart. I wish to meet her one day and go on a retreat. I’m really amazed how good she can write about her experiences in life.

4.) Would you recommend it to other people?

Yes of course! This book will heal your heart whether you are going through grief or any other struggle in life.

5.) How often do you read?

A few days in a week. I just read sometimes. If I would have a busier life I would maybe have less time to read but I would still read.

6.) Do you like to read?

Yeahhh!

7.) What was the last bad book you read?

I think that must be The big sleep by Raymond Chandler.

8.) What made you dislike it?

I read this book years ago during high school. It was boring and I don’t like those detective stories. I also had to read it for school and when I have to do something I often don’t like it that much πŸ˜‚.

9.) Do you wish to be a writer?

YEAH OMGGG MY DREAM πŸ˜πŸ’–. I already consider my a writer because I own this blog but I would love to write books especially some poetry books. I hope to make this dream come true one day. If anyone has tips for publishing your own books and how things work I would love to know that.

10.) Has any book ever influenced you greatly?

Yes of course. You learn so much from books. The books which had the most influence on me are The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and To love and let go by Rachel Brathen. These are two beautiful books which tell a honest and beautiful story.

11.) Do you read fan-fiction?

No, I’ve never read fan-fiction.

12.) Do you write fan-fiction?

Nope and to be honest I also don’t think I’m that interested in this.

13.) What is your favourite book?

I have some favourite books which are Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, To love and let go by Rachel Brathen and The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. These are my three favourite books ever πŸ’žπŸ™.

14.) What is your least favourite book?

I don’t know. Maybe one I had to read during high school which is called The big sleep. I just didn’t like that story.

15.) Do you prefer physical books or ready on a device (like Kindle)?

Physical books always. I don’t have a tablet and to be honest it’s so much better to have a book in your hands. I love to feel the paper and smell it haha πŸ˜‚πŸ“–.

16.) When did you learn to read?

I think when I began to go to school so when I was 4/5 years old.

17.) What is your favourite book you had to read in school?

I had to read The Kite Runner during high school. I loved it. This story was so touching, heartbreaking and everything.

18.) What is your favourite book series?

The Spinster Club Series by Holly Bourne. I still need to read some of her books from this serie. I’ve read Am I normal yet? and I loved it!!! In that book she writes about a girl who has OCD and suffers from anxiety too. It’s a book about friendship, love, mental health and feminism. It’s so good.

19.) Who is your favourite author?

I have so many favourite authors but my all time favourite are John Green, Rachel Brathen and Holly Bourne.

20.) What is your favourite genre?

Young Adult always πŸ’–.

21.) Who is your favourite character in a book series?

I really like Evie from the book Am I normal yet as I can relate so much with her thoughts about anxiety. I don’t have OCD but as I struggle from anxiety I can also make myself go crazy with so many things in my mind which aren’t even going to come true. It’s so exhausting. This book made me feel less alone.

22.) Has a book ever transported you somewhere else?

Yes, books always transport me to beautiful places and countries. I love to imagine myself in the stories and think about what would I do faced in a certain situation.

23.) Which book do you wish had a sequel?

Everything, Everything because when I ended reading it I felt like I wanted to know how the story would go on. It would be really nice to read that.

24.) Which book do you wish DIDN’T have a sequel?

I don’t know. I think sequels can be good.

25.) How long does it take you to read a book?

Sometimes two weeks but often a month or a few months. I like to take my time to read some good books.

26.) Do you like when books become movies?

I love it! 🎬 I think think it’s really nice when they do it right.

27.) Which book was ruined by its movie adaptation?

I don’t know. I only know that when I watched Everything, Everything I thought that some things were a bit different than in the book. I thought it could have been better.

28.) Which movie has done a book justice?

The Fault in Our Stars was such a beautiful movie and was just like the book. It’s my fav book and movie ever. I cried, laughed and just had all the feels. I also loved the movie The Kite Runner but sometimes it was a bit hard to watch because of the things which were showed. I can’t deal with hard stuff as being a highly sensitive person. I also love the Harry Potter movies but I have to admit that I never read the books, just one. Maybe one day I will have to do that haha.

29.) Do you read newspapers?

Not that much. Sometimes I read it for the wheather, horoscope or some news which interests me such as Eurovision or news about feminism.

30.) Do you read magazines?

I love to read magazines especially the ones I buy in The Netherlands which are Flow and Psychology magazine. Flow is about mindfullness, slow life and being present. It comes with stationery and beautiful insights. I also shared in this blog post that I got some magazines of Flow for Sinterklaas. I also love Psychology magazine because it’s about mental health. I love to read about people who also suffer from anxiety because it makes me feel less alone πŸ™βœ¨. I love to read about some tips how to go through it. It’s an inspiring and interesting magazine. For the rest I also sometimes like The Cosmopolitan which I buy in Spain. I like to buy it in the Summer for holidays on the beach. I’m not that much that girl who loves to read about the newest fashion trends but some stuff is nice haha.

31.) Do you prefer newspapers or magazines?

Magazines always because newspapers can be quiet depressing.

32.) Do you read while in bed?

Yeahhh always because it’s the best, safest, warmest and coziest place to read πŸ›οΈπŸ’ž.

33.) Do you read while on the toilet?

No, but I use my mobile phone sometimes to read something haha.

34.) Do you read while in the car?

I can’t read in the car because I get sick but sometimes I can read in the train.

35.) Do you read while in the bath?

No, because I’m afraid the books will get wet. I would love to have a table which I sometimes see on Instagram posts to put your book on.

36.) Are you a fast reader?

No normally not. Just sometimes it happens that when I really love a book it can take me two weeks to read it.

37.) Are you a slow reader?

YES. I can take some months to read a book haha. I just want to enjoy it and not rush everything. I also want to really be present with what I’m reading and think about the story.

38.) Where is your favourite place to read?

In my bed, on the beach 🌊🌴🌞 (fav place ever) because it’s so calming to hear the waves crashing down the shore, and I also love to read in the garden in The Netherlands. I can’t wait for those days again in the sunshine. I need it.

39.) Is it hard for you to concentrate when you read?

Yes, so that’s why I prefer to read in a silent room, at the beach or at the swimming pool. I can easily get distracted by sounds.

40.) Do you need a room to be silent while you read?

Always otherwise I can’t read.

41.) Who gave you your love for reading?

I think maybe my father because he reads a lot, also writes books as he was a teacher of teology. He also used to tell me stories about witches and other fantasies before bedtime when I was little. He made them all up and it was incredible. My daddy has so much imagination haha. I find it fascinating to be honest.

42.) What book is next on your list to read?

Right now I’m reading Looking for Alaska by John Green. Next, I think I want to read the poetry book about mental health of my friend Andrew from Instagram.

43.) When did you start to read chapter books?

I don’t know, maybe I was 8 years old.

44.) Who is your favourite children’s book author?

I really love the Dutch autors Jacques Vriens and Francine Oomen. I always loved to read these children books.

45.) Which author would you most want to interview?

I would love to interview John Green because I think he is such an interesting person and knows about mental health illnesses such as anxiety and depression. His books are amazing so I think it would be amazing to talk to him. He has such a beautiful inner world.

46.) Which author do you think you would be friends with?

Holly Bourne and Rachel Brathen! I love them both so much 😍. Holly Bourne writes amazing books about mental health, feminism and friendship. I also love Rachel Brathen, Yoga Girl, so much. She’s my biggest inspiration in life so I think we would get along so well with. I would feel at peace when I met her one day and could talk about my struggles and just everything in life. I love her honesty and vulnerability so much.

47.) What book have you reread the most?

I’m a slow reader so to be honest I didn’t have reread a book. I only can think of maybe a Dutch book serie called The five which I read loads of books from. It was always so interesting to read. It was about children who have amazing adventures together.

48.) Which books do you consider β€œclassics?”

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee and The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I have to read the first two because I heard good reviews about them. The last one I’ve already read and a review is coming soon.

49.) Which books do you think should be taught in every school?

I think The Fault in Our Stars because it tells such a vulnerable and beautiful story about a girl and a boy with cancer which fall in love with each other. It’s a beautiful and touching story. You learn so much about life and the world with this book. I also think the Spinster Club Series books from Holly Bourne would be really great because it’s about feminism, friendship and mental health. Those are all important topics to talk about and learn about through books.

50.) Which books should be banned from all schools?

Books are amazing but I’m in favor of banning books which cause hate such as books of homophobia, racism and anything. If it wouldn’t benefit a person and would cause harm then it should be banned at school.

Thank you all for reading this blog post ☺️. I hope you liked this book tag with loads of questions about books and reading. Can you relate to some of my answers? What kind of books do you love to read? What are your favourite books/writers? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Spotify Wrapped 2019 πŸŽΆ

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I love to read other music reviews of 2019 and I also loved to see mine. I’m excited to share it with you all. Music is life. We can know a person’s personality through their music style. I love Taylor Swift, she’s my favourite artist of this decade and forever. I love romantic music and music which touch my soul 🎢. It has to make me feel something. Music is always there for us, in good and bad times. I can definitely see within the years I have Spotify how my music taste has changed depending on what I was going through in my life.

How my music changed within the seasons

Winter β„οΈβ˜ƒοΈπŸŒ¬οΈ

In the Winter I listened to Ariana Grande, Alfred GarcΓ­a and the podcast of Yoga Girl. The new album Thank u, next of Ariana just came out and I had it on repeat. Same goes for the album of Alfred which came out in December. I also listened a lot to the podcast of Yoga Girl – conversations from the heart. I listen to her podcast every week so that doesn’t change at all.

Spring 🌼🌷🌻

During the Spring time I listened again a lot to Ariana Grande, Alfred GarcΓ­a and to the podcast of Yoga Girl – conversations from the heart. What changed was that I also listened a lot to the song Arcade of the Dutch Duncan Laurence which was the winner of Eurovision. Best song ever. Goosebumps all the time.

Summer 🌞🌊

In the Summer I only listened to Taylor Swift’s new album Lover. Best album ever πŸ˜πŸ’–. I still listen to it. I also listened to the podcast of Yoga Girl of course. That never changes haha.

Autumn πŸπŸƒ

During Autum my music didn’t change that much. I still listened to Taylor Swift, and also to a new podcast of Yoga Girl which is Yoga Girl daily. The daily version are just 5 minutes each day which could be a meditation or an insight or thankful Thursday. I also listened to Miki NΓΊΓ±ez who represented Eurovision for Spain last year πŸŽ‰πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ.

Top artist of 2019

My top artist was Ariana Grande which was surprising to me because deep down in my heart my top artist is Taylor Swift haha sorry, no not sorry πŸ˜‚πŸ’–. I also love Ariana so much and because her album came earlier I listened more to her album in the beginning of 2019. Maybe, next year this changed. I listened more than 10 hours to her music. My favourite song was bloodline. I love this song.

Top artists of 2019

I’m not surprised that these are my top artists as they are my favs but I also thought Amaia and Sofia Ellar would make the list. I also listened so much to them. Maybe, next year. I love Ariana, Taylor, Alfred, Julia and Aitana. I love to listen to American artists and Spanish ones.

World citizen

I listened to a lot of music from different countries of the world 🌍. I listened to music from 24 different countries. I listened to music from USA (Ariana Grande), of course Spain a lot (Aitana), United Kingdom (Ed Sheeran), Avicii (Sweden, his posthumous album was beautiful… I still miss him so much) and also BTS (South Korea).

My top genres

I listened mostly to pop music, Spanish pop, Dutch pop, Colombian pop and R&B in Spanish. It’s just all pop except of the R&B.

My top 10 songs

1. Arcade – Duncan Laurence
2. Lover – Taylor Swift
3. The Archer – Taylor Swift
4. Bloodline – Ariana Grande
5. La Venda – Miki NΓΊΓ±ez
6. Fake Smile – Ariana Grande
7. Anxiety – Julia Michaels ft. Selena Gomez
8. Imagine – Ariana Grande
9. Bad Idea – Ariana Grande
10. You Need To Calm Down – Taylor Swift

I love all of these songs and artists. They all have a special place in my heart πŸ’ž.

My top podcast

The only podcast I listen to is the one of Yoga Girl – conversations from the heart. I listened 3007 minutes to her podcasts which is more than 50 hours. Her podcasts are the best. She’s the biggest inspiration in my life. Her podcast are so inspiring and full of beautiful lessons. They are about self love, mental health, trauma, healing, yoga, motherhood, relationships, life, death and everything in between. I wish to meet her one day and go to a yoga retreat in Aruba πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ό because it’s my biggest dream evah πŸ˜πŸ’–πŸ™βœ¨.

Time spent on Spotify from the last decade

Last year I listened to more music on Spotify than this year. If you see the minutes I listened to music on Spotify in 2015 until now it definitely decreased. I think in 2015 I still listened to break up music so had to use Spotify for that.

The best music of the decade

My music taste changed a lot during this decade because at the end of 2012 I experienced my first and only heartbreak πŸ’”πŸ˜’. I listened a lot to the song A drop of the ocean and other songs of Ron Pope. I also listened a lot to all the break up songs of The Script. I don’t like The Script so much anymore because they changed way too much. After those years I listened a lot to Passenger. Let her go is my favourite song of him. I loved his concert where I went to a few years ago. In 2017 the song Despacito was such a hit through the whole world. Last year I listened a lot to Sofia Ellar and I still do. I love her so much. This year was the year of Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande. My favourite song of the year is Arcade because that’s the winning Eurovision song and made so much impact on me 😍😭. I needed this song to heal my broken heart at the end of this decade. It touched my heart in so many ways.

Duncan Laurence – Arcade

My top artist of the decade

The artist of the decade for me is Passenger which is normal when you saw above that I listened to his songs a lot during this decade. Now, I listen more to up beat and happy songs but also more slower ones. It’s nice to listen to all different kinds of music styles.

Stats of 2019

Ariana, Taylor, Alfred, Julia and Aitana are my top artists of 2019 of course. I listened 7233 minutes to Spotify which is a lot. My top genre is of course pop πŸ’ƒ.

My decade wrapped

My top artists of this decade are Passenger, The Script, Ron Pope, Frank Hamilton and Joshua Radin. These are all artists I listened to after the break up of my first love. The next decade this will definitely change because I almost don’t listen to these artists anymore. My favourite number was definitely Let her go from Passenger. I also loved Rojitas las orejas from Fito y Fitopaldis. This is one song I listened to a lot when I liked a Mexican πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ guy haha it was our song. I also loved the song Coastal Love from Honne. My top genre was of course Pop.

My top songs of 2019 – Playlist

You can listen to my songs of 2019 on this playlist which Spotify made for me. There are Spanish songs in them but also English songs.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you found it interesting to hear about what kind of music I listened to this year and decade 🎢. What are your favourite artists of 2019? What were your favourite songs this year? Which music genre do you listen to? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

October favourites 🍁

Hola lovelies πŸ’•,

It’s already time for October favourites. This year is almost over. It always scares me how fast time is going because I always feel like I’m not living the life I want. It makes me anxious. I’m glad that at least I enjoyed some nice things in October such as going to the swimming pool with my brother, mother and lovely niece, having fun with my best friend, buying Christmas cards and receiving the book “To love and let go” πŸ’—.

Things I did with my family πŸ‘ͺ:

Going to the swimming pool 🏊

I went to the swimming pool with my brother, mother and my little niece who’s right now 4 years old πŸ‘§. I have always loved this swimming pool so much. I love the slide which is 60m. It has a side where you can go a bit outside. There are also jacuzzis and there’s another big swimming pool. Swimming is just the best thing ever 🏊 It always makes me feel so relaxed, inspired and happy afterwards. I want to go more often. Doing sports is so good for our physical and mental health. I went down the slide with my niece alone and we had loads of fun.

I even made a friend after swimming which was a girl from Syria πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ. I love to meet people from other countries, religions or nationalities. I believe that the diversity of the world is what makes this world a beautiful place to live in 🌍. Hearing her talk made me emotional. I also talked about the war which is going on there. I find it hard to talk about it because I can definitely feel how hard it must be to leave your country and live in another one where you don’t speak the language. In two years she learned Dutch, has her driving license, just got her swimming diploma and is studying. This made me feel bad too because sometimes I take too many things for granted in life such as my home, my freedom, food, water and all the things we have and so many others in this world don’t have.

Having delicious fondue with the family 🍽️

I had a delicious night of fondue with my brother, his wife and my parents the weekend before me and my mother were off to Spain. We ate delicious food such as potatoes with different sauces and vanilla ice cream with fruits πŸ˜‹. It’s always a tradition to have fondue like you can read in my posts.

Buying Sinterklaas presents 🎁

I bought presents for the feast Sinterklaas which we celebrate the 6th of December with my family. The official date of this feast is the 5th of December. It’s a celebration like Santa Claus πŸŽ‰. They say he comes from Spain to deliver presents. I wanted to buy almost all presents because I will spend most of November in Spain. Some Dutch families make surprises but we just buy presents for each other. I love to give and receive presents! I already wrapped all presents too.

Making a wish list for Sinterklaas πŸ“ƒ

I love to make lists and especially wish lists haha πŸ’–. I always make them for Sinterklaas, Christmas, The Three Kings Day and my birthday. I just update them every now and then. This year I ask for loads of nice books such as from Holly Bourne, of course nice stationery, yogi tea, book paper lovers from Flow and the calendar from Flow. Flow is such a nice Dutch magazine which makes loads of amazing and creative stuff. I also always want an advent calendar. I love to eat a chocolate 🍫 a day until Christmas.

Autumn in the park πŸπŸ‚πŸƒ

I enjoyed a nice walk in the park with my mother. I’m a Summer girl but I love the beautiful leaves in Autumn. The park was beautiful and we made some nice pictures. Afterwards, we went to the restaurant in the park and drank a delicious mint tea 🍡 with some cookies πŸͺ.

Trip to Spain ✈️πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ

I’m in Spain right now since a week. I’m always happy to be in Spain but I also know that my body stays with me wherever I go so I have anxiety also wherever I go. I used to think that if I travel somewhere else, I would feel better. There’s some sunshine here which makes life a bit better. I’m also happy to see my friends in Spain, eat delicious food and have fun. I also know that I still have to go to the dentist which makes me so anxious but I hope to overcome this fear soon. To be honest, I’m struggling a lot with anxiety now 😒.

Buying Christmas cards πŸŽ„πŸŽ…

I already bought Christmas stuff such as washi tape, a silver and golden pen, stickers and Christmas cards because I want to begin writing Christmas cards in Spain. Maybe I’m also sending them from Spain. It’s better to do it earlier because otherwise I get stressed as December is always a busy month. It’s better to have it done already because this year I will write 30 cards, every year less than the year before because not everyone writes me back. I love to write them but the fun is also to get a card back πŸ’Œ.

Buying new stationery and bath products πŸ›€

When I went one day to the shopping mall near to my house with my mamita I bought loads of nice stationery. I bought a set of 20 cards with different designs. I love the blue, pink and purple colours and the quotes on it πŸ’™πŸ’œ. I also bought new washi tapes. I bought loads of bath products too which includes a blue mermaid bath bomb and bath salt with mixed flower petals and grapefruit scent. For the trip to Spain I bought nail polish remover pads πŸ’…, coconut body cream which I love so much as it smells so good, my favourite dry shampoo Batiste cherry and eye make-up remover oil pads from the Hema.

Things I did with my lovely friends πŸ’–:

Eating delicious food with my bestie πŸ½οΈπŸ’—

π‘¬π’—π’†π’“π’š π’ƒπ’π’π’π’…π’Šπ’† 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒔 𝒂 π’ƒπ’“π’π’˜π’π’Šπ’† π’ƒπ’š 𝒉𝒆𝒓 π’”π’Šπ’…π’† πŸ’—

I’m so happy I saw my bestie again after 4 months twice. It’s always good to see my best friend 😍 I loved eating at Bagels and Beans as it’s one of my fav places. I had such a delicious bagel with avocado, salad, tomato, cheese and drank a mint tea. It doesn’t matter how long we don’t see each other because our friendship never changes. You know when the friendship is real, deep and honest when everything stays the same when you see each other again after a long time. I’m so so so thankful to have you in my life. I will be always there for you. Even writing this makes me emotional. We are both a highly sensitive person forever haha πŸ’— Thank you for guiding me through life. Thank you for being the light πŸ’‘ in the dark times. Thank you for being my best friend who is always there for me when I need it. Thank you for our real talks about politics, mental health, feminism, life, death, music, books, and just anything.

We all need a little help from our friends and it’s just so true. Being surrounded by good people make you feel less alone in your struggles. The moment I share something and I hear you or another loved one say me too I feel a bit better. We are never alone. We are all walking this life together. As long as I have you by my side I will be okay. 11 year friends. Forever besties. I love you so much, to infinity and beyond, to the moon and back πŸ’•πŸ’πŸ’–πŸŒœπŸŒ›πŸŒπŸŒ•

The second time we saw each other we went to La Place in the shop Hudson Bay which is a restaurant where you can see whole Haarlem. We ate a delicious tomato soup 🍜 with some cheese. We had some good talks, laughed a lot and afterwards we did some shopping. I bought some nice cards with quotes and some stickers. I’m going to miss this shop when it’s going away only for the stationery hahah. We also went to see her brother, his wife and parents because they were celebrating her brother’s birthday πŸŽ‚πŸŽ‰. I loved to see them all as I’m just one of the family. It’s nice to feel so connected and so loved.

Receiving beautiful pen pal letters πŸ–‹οΈ

I received some beautiful mail from my lovely pen pals. I received beautiful mail from Sophia which inluded some awesome unicorn writing paper and envelopes. I also loved your notes and stickers. The letter from Mollie was also amazing. I loved the goodies especially the whale card and the sticky notes. Thank you Vikki for your amazing mail too. I loved the friendship card, the other cards with quotes, the unicorn key ring and the feather sticky notes. I love all my pen pals so much. Writing is healing and makes me so happy 😍.

Other amazing things of October 🍁:

Receiving the book “To love and let go” by Rachel Brathen πŸ“–πŸ’ž

I finally received the book “To love and let go” by Yoga Girl. She’s my biggest inspiration in life 😍. I also wrote about her and her book in this post. I’m in the middle of this book and I already cried so much. It’s so heartbreaking, so beautiful and so real. In this book she wrote about how she lost her best friend, the divorce she suffered from her parents and the suicide attempts from her mother. She writes about loss, gratitude and love. This book is one of my favourite books ever now. I can’t wait to meet Rachel one day and go on a yoga retreat. Thank you so much for being the light in this sometimes dark world πŸ™πŸŒβœ¨. We need it. I’m so thankful for the Yoga Girl community where I met so many amazing people which I also hope to meet soon. It’s so important to hold space for others to feel our feelings. That’s exactly what this book is about. Feel our feelings, the good and the bad. Go through the dark times in life and eventually you will find the light.

Blas CantΓ³ is going to represent Spain for Eurovision Song Contest 2020 πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸŽ™οΈ

I was very happy to hear that Blas CantΓ³ is going to represent Spain in Eurovision in Rotterdam, The Netherlands next year. I hope to be able to see it live because it cost a lot of money but it’s been 44 years that Eurovision comes to The Netherlands. It’s a one in a lifetime experience πŸ‡³πŸ‡±. It would be great to see Spain winning in The Netherlands haha. Blas CantΓ³ is a very popular singer here and famous for his song “Γ‰l no soy no”. His voice is beautiful and I’m sure he will do really good in Eurovision.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all liked it. What kinds of fun things did you do in October? What are your favourites from my post? Did you like the new stationery I bought? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Reflection on 2018 & happy new year to you all! πŸŽ‰βœ¨πŸ’•πŸ’«

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Happy new year to you all! βœ¨πŸŽ‰ In this post I will talk about my 2018 and will show you how I celebrated New Year’s Eve. I’m glad I don’t have a cold amymore but just tonight I got my period so yeah that also sucks 😭 I’m glad I take medication for the cramps because otherwise I wouldn’t survive it. Besides, I’m also being anxious about my appointment of getting one of my wisdom teeth pulled out this week. I keep postponing the appointment. I know I have to do it but I’m so scared. H e l p. I also don’t want to do it in Holland. Here in Spain it’s much cheaper and the dentist understands my anxiety but I’m still so afraid and I just feel like I can’t cope. If anyone have some more tips to survive it I will be forever grateful πŸ™πŸ’• I can always take medication for anxiety if that’s enough to help me cope with it.

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We are already in 2019. A year has flown by. As usually I want to reflect on my year with this post and also write some important things for you all. Every year has its ups and downs. Every year consists of good things and bad things which happen to us. The most important thing is how we react to all these things. I know how hard it’s to stay positive in this sometimes dark world. I just keep believing that there are so many good things in the world and that there are indeed so many good people. You just have to find your tribe. I’m so glad I did.

I’m so happy with my blogging community, mental health community, Yoga Girl community and the goddess revolution community. I’m thankful that I joined these communities this year. They made me feel less alone and so much happier. If I’m in Holland I will maybe go to a meet up with some yoga girls. I also really wish that we will continue to all be friends and hopefully one day we will all meet ✨ I know the universe brought us all together for a reason which is to be connected with awesome people, share our struggles and feel supported.

I learned a lot this year. I learn every day from this world. This year I realized that there are truly lovely people who care about you and want you to be happy. I learned that it’s better to have a few good friends than a million of fake friends. The ones who love you will always be there for you no matter what. I learned that true love exists when I saw my brother getting married in August in Spain. I learned that this life is an adventure. Sometimes we win and sometimes we loose. We learn from every experience. I also learned that it’s okay if I’m not where I want to be in life. I still have a long way to go. I will find a career I love and will keep growing. It all takes time, pacience and trust in myself. I have to love myself, believe in myself and know that I can make my dreams come true such as working and living in Spain ✨

I also went to my first feminist strike in Valladolid, in Spain on International Women’s Day on the 8th of March with my mother. This was such an empowerful event. I never went to a demonstration before. I really wish 2019 will be the year that less women will be suffering from violence. I wish that women and men have the same human rights. Together we are starting a revolution. This is just the beginning. 2019 will be the year where women can be themselves, love themselves and love each other πŸ’•

This year I also learned that music is the best thing in life 🎢 I would be lost without music. I went to so many amazing concerts such as the OperaciΓ³n Triunfo 2017 concert in Madrid with my friend Maria πŸ’• OperaciΓ³n Triunfo makes me so happy and full of life. I also enjoyed the concert of Pablo Alboran, Chenoa, Hombres G and Celtas Cortos with my mother in Valladolid. I also enjoyed so much the concert of Sofia Ellar with my friend Maria. I can’t wait to see her again. It was so lovely to meet Sofia and get a picture with her. She’s the best and I can’t wait to see her singing again 😍

This year I began to read again a lot which I loved to do so much when I was younger. I will continue reading this new year. I also kept writing and being creative. I hope to create more amazing content on this blog. Writing is amazing. I travelled to Madrid, Granada, Santander and Somo. I discovered Somo which is a beautiful surfing village in the north of Spain. In 2019 I really want to go to a surf camp again πŸ„β€β™€οΈπŸŒŠπŸŒž. I didn’t go surfing for more than two years. I miss it so much. It’s also so good for my mental health. The sea is my home and cleans my soul. The beach is my favourite place on this earth. I can’t wait to travel to more amazing places and meet more amazing people.

Somo, Santander (September 2018)

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Granada, Andalucia (July 2018)

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La RΓ‘bita, Mediterranean Sea, Granada (July 2018)

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Madrid (March 2018)

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Maybe for some of you this year was a hard year. Maybe some of you have lost someone close to you. Maybe you just didn’t felt okay and were struggling. I’m here for you. It’s okay to grief. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel sad. Feelings change and emotions change but it all takes time. Try to not be hard on yourself next year. Remember, I’ll will always be there for you πŸ’• I hope you will invest in self love and self care this new year because that’s the most important thing that matters. I also encourage you all to surround yourself with people who love you and who bring you only good vibes because you deserve that ✨.

I celebrated my New Year’s Eve in Valladolid, in Spain. I decided to not go out with my friends. I also didn’t go out last year. I used to party every year but I don’t feel in the mood anymore. I have to do what feels good to me. I went to the hairdressers in the afternoon to cut the dead ends, my bangs and they made curls in my hair. I love to look good for myself. I dressed up at home and did my make up. My mother and I went to the house of the mother of the wife of my brother. We celebrated all together New Year’s Eve: Rafael, my mother, VΓ©ronica, VΓ©ronica’s mother and her brother. We enjoyed eating delicious Spanish food.

We ate cheese, jamon serrano, chorizo, bread and chicken. I didn’t eat the fish because I don’t like fish so much haha πŸ˜‚ At 12 o’clock we watched the television and ate the 12 grapes. We also had champagne πŸ₯‚. It’s a tradition in Spain to eat the 12 grapes. They say it brings luck. We watched television where we were hearing beautiful music and we played Spanish card games. I really loved it so much. I love playing games with my family. At 3.30 am my mother and I went home and we stayed in watching some television. We went to bed at 6 am pretty late but doesn’t matter because it’s a special night. I’m glad I didn’t go out because as soon as we were home I got my period haha. On New Year’s Day we just stayed in and chilled. I saw the movie Grease. I just love that movie & the music so much 😍 I also saw the movie Paper Towns which I love so much from John Green. I already saw this movie with my best friend one day and loved it.

l wish you all an amazing new year full of love, happiness and luck πŸ€βœ¨βœŒοΈ Stay strong & stay safe. We are all in this together πŸ’ͺ I love you all so so so much ❀️. Thank you all for reading. How was your New Year’s Eve? Did you stay at home or did you went to a party? Which are your goals or dreams to achieve in 2019? I would love to know. I will speak to you all soon in my next blog post.

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Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Feeling lonely and the love of communities πŸ’•

Hola sweeties πŸ’•,

In this blog post I will write about feeling lonely which I’m feeling for a long time right now. I’m feeling this feeling even stronger here in The Netherlands. I also felt this feeling in Spain but much less. I’m going to talk about feeling lonely and about the differences of living in Spain or The Netherlands. Loneliness is a feeling that many people will not want to admit. Everybody can feel lonely in life. I think it’s important to write about it because I often feel in life that not many people want to talk about it or they feel ashamed to feel this way. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Those are your feelings and you have every right to feel them.

I know why I feel this feeling stronger here in The Netherlands than in Spain. A big reason is that in Spain I have a group of friends where I hang out with mostly in the weekends. We eat tapas together, have a fiesta or just meet each other and talk. I also have good friends here in The Netherlands but it seems like everyone is busy living their lives. My friends in Spain also have their lives but the Spanish people in general are more social and it’s easier to meet new people. In Spain people make time to see each other and also make time to eat with friends and family. Since I’m back in Holland I only saw one time my best friend, another day my other good friend and another day another good friend. I’m already a month here. For the rest, I only go out with my mother. So, basically I’m only with my parents. I’m happy that I bought concert tickets last weekend to go to the concert of Vance joy this friday in Paradiso Amsterdam. I can’t wait to hear the song Riptide live 😍. I’m going with my best friend and I can’t wait to enjoy a concert together again. It’s been such a long time since I went to concerts here in Holland. Music is life πŸŽΆπŸ’•.

I’m not only feeling lonely because I don’t see a lot of friends here in The Netherlands. I’m also feeling lonely because I don’t see my family that often. I don’t see my brothers that often and also not my little niece from three years. I miss my family so much. As you know I have two older brothers. Rafael has just married with his Spanish wife VerΓ³nica in August. They live like 15 minutes away from us by bike. I saw them only twice in a month. One time with the wedding party in Haarlem and the other time at the beach for a short time. Fortunately, they are both coming to eat in two weeks at our home. My other brother Edward lives with his wife Elke and their cute little girl Noanne 2 hours away from us by car in the south of The Netherlands. They are always busy with their jobs and also have their own company of wedding photography. We are all still waiting for the pictures of the wedding of Rafael. I saw them once last year only with Christmas because I was in Spain all the time. This year I have also only see them once with the wedding in Spain. Hopefully, I will see them next month with the light festival Glow in Eindhoven with my mother. Glow is such a beautiful event. All the buildings and the church are with lights. It’s beautiful to see. I will make pictures and videos and maybe let you all see what I mean πŸ’‘.

This feeling of loneliness is pretty normal for me and especially living in the Netherlands. You all know by now that I love Spain more than The Netherlands. I love both countries but I just feel more Spanish in the way I’m. I feel more at home in Spain. In Spain family is number one and also friends are really important. They always make time to see each other no matter how busy their lives are. What I also love in Spain is that a friend can just text me or call me and say hey do you want to go to eat some tapas tonight? Of course, I say yes and then we will go out. Here in The Netherlands you always have to plan when you are going to meet each other and it’s difficult to make a plan because the people are telling you all the time I’m so busy omg I’m so busy. I really dislike that sentence so much. Of course, there are a lot of things to do in life but I think you really have to make time to also see your loved ones if that’s important for you.

There’s such a big difference in culture between Spain and The Netherlands. Spain has a collectivist culture and The Netherlands is an individualistic country. In Spain when I meet my friends sometimes more friends will join and it’s all spontaneous whereas here people are looking to their agendas to find a day when they can all meet. People here just like to live their lives alone. I can feel this feeling of loneliness much more here than in Spain. Whenever I have a problem people are more likely to help me in Spain than here. In Spain there’s a high rate of unemployment but still families help each other and find a way out. I really admire their strength and positivity.

Even though I go out almost every day with my mother I’m still feeling lonely. I went twice to the beach last month, drove on my bike and had walks in the park near to my house. I know another big factor of my loneliness is that I don’t study anymore. I’m searching for jobs in Spain and also applied for some jobs. One was about promoting the brand Holland in Madrid and another one was working in the surf shop O’Neill in Madrid. I hope they will answer me soon. I also applied for a job vacancy to work in a surf shop here in Holland. Maybe, I can do that these months to earn some money before I go to Spain in December. I really want to make a living there. When I studied in college I hang out with my classmates and it was all fun. Now, I feel lost in life. I guess my anxiety disorder also makes me feel lonely. I always feel alone in my feelings and thoughts. I’m so happy to have found this blogging community and also my mental health community on my blog and on Instagram. You are all so kind and so amazing. I’m also into reading again and want to write more awesome new content like book reviews on my blog.

Last month I also entered a new community which is the Yoga Girl community on Facebook. I will still write a blog post about her because I have a lot to say about her and she’s just my biggest inspiration in life. I will just keep it short now. Yoga Girl is a famous international yoga teacher and has her own studio Island Yoga in Aruba. She is married with Dennis Schoneveld and has a lovely child called Lea Luna. This community makes me also feel less alone. There are now 12000 people in this group. Everyone is sharing their lifes stories. I read a lot of stories about death, self love, mental illnesses such as anxiety, ocd, depression or anything else, trauma, abuse, yoga, following your dreams and so much more. Everyone is openly sharing. We are all looking for acceptance and understanding in life and that’s what I found in this group. Some people give advice and others are just there for you. Sometimes the best advice you can give to someone is to be there for them. I cried of happiness while reading these amazing stories. I’m so happy to be part of this beautiful community πŸŒΈπŸ™.

I’ve always felt that the world is a scary place and awful things happen but maybe those thoughts are also caused by my anxiety disorder. I just always felt like I can’t be myself and have to change myself so that people will like me. I’ve been bullied during my high school years which I also shared on this blog and that made me cause low self esteeem. Every day I’m learning more about myself. I’m learning to really love myself. I’m a highly sensitive person and I feel every emotion. I suffer more but also feel more. I’m just so happy to have found my blogging community, yoga girl community and mental health community online. These communites are so amazing. It reminds me that even though in my past and in this world there are bad people there are also so many good people. You just have to find the right people which is your tribe. Those people will always be there for you no matter whatπŸ’•. Communities are there to make people feel less alone and lonely, to share and be honest with each other.

The support I see in all these communities with each other and which I also receive are just from another planet 🌍. I wish to meet many of you because you seem all so lovely, understanding and caring. The worlds needs more people like you all ❀. I often feel that there are so many people who don’t show their real feelings in life. It feels like it’s better to not feel at all in life. I disagree with that because feeling all those emotions bad or good like anger, happiness, loneliness, sadness is so important. I made the best friends and connections online and in real life with people who are real, honest and can be vulnerable with each other. We have to feel it all in order to let things go in life.

I already made many new friends on Facebook from the Yoga Girl community. Now, I feel less alone. Some of them are Dutch and living in Amsterdam or Leiden so I’m going to meet some of them. I’m just so in need of new friends too because it feels amazing to be able to have deep talks, do yoga and just be surrounded by authentic people. I just wanted to say that even though I never met any of you I know our paths will cross and that this community will heal us all. One of my biggest dreams in life is to go on a Yoga Retreat in Island Yoga and meet Rachel and all those amazing people. Always remember, you are loved. You are enough and you are all so beautiful. You are never alone πŸ’•.

I hope you all liked this blog post. Do you also feel lonely sometimes? What do you do when you feel lonely? Do you also love to be part of a community? It always makes me feel less alone so I encourage anyone to join a community online whether it will be online or in real life. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Love, peace & happiness to you all ❀

xoxo Christina