Missing my childhood home
Hey my loves,
Here is a little rant of feelings and thoughts I feel. I miss the old days on this blog. It is sad that many people left. This still feels like my safe space. It’s so important to me 🫶🥹. I wish my friends are well and loved.
Here I’m again laying in my bed. Insomnia. Watching the hours go by. At night is when I feel the most alive. I have aways been a night owl 🦉. I keep thinking too much. I miss my childhood home. It’s been 6 months since we sold it. Lately I have been thinking a lot about the fact that it doesn’t matter to which country you move to. Struggles and good times will follow you along. I’m feeling depressed again and feel a lot of sadness too. It also comes from loss. My daddy died two years ago and now this year we have sold our family home 💔. It feels like a lot to go through.
Your mind & body will follow you anywhere you go. I wish I could leave it all behind but I can’t. I know the moment I will walk around my childhood home again I will just keep on crying. Too many memories. 30 years of my life. It feels too much. I suck at changes. Even though things are familiar it’s hard. Feeling lonely makes it harder. Loneliness also comes from depression and menta health struggles.
The loss of your childhood home is not one thing you can get over in a night. It takes time. Healing takes time too. How can you ley something go which meant the world for you? It’s all you ever know. I miss how I took for granted little things like watching the birds fly and seeing the trees outside my window. I miss the connection with being one with nature. I need to find it again 🌱. We are nature. We are already home in our bodies. Sometimes we just forget it.
Just like my daddy I have always been so nostalgic. I long for my childhood home and the memories I made there. Playing with the dogs, always being outside, playing with the kids in the neighbourhood. I miss all the cats. I just miss those easy childhood days. Childhood is just so precious, so beautiful and fragil. For you know it, it’s over and will never come back anymore 💔🥹. It’s important as adults to keep playing and loving your inner child. I will stay young in soul and body. It’s just the way I’m.
Nostalgia also makes you feel like the past was better than what the future will bring you. It ain’t true all the time. When you are depressed it’s just easer to think that way. At least that’s how I feel. My daddy always said that the only constant in life is change which is true. Good times don’t last neither do bad times. I guess it’s okay to feel nostalgic from time to time. Those memories keep the person you lost alive.
We are all made of stories and memories. Sometimes we feel stuck in the past which makes it so hard to move forward. Taking it day by day. Doing the things we love. Knowing that one day we will feel more hopeful about the future. Nostalgia stays but in a different way. Accepting that change and new beginnings are okay. Taking it slowly and we will see how the story continues ✨️
Thank you all for reading my blog post. How do you deal with big life changes? Do you miss your childhood home? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.
Much love always 💖,
xoxo Christina
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