Holaaa from Spain after 7 months not being able to travel! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒด๐ŸŒป

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿฅฐ,

I’m finally back in Spain since last Tuesday. I CRY BECAUSE I MISSED IT SOOOO MUCH ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿฅฐ. Just writing this makes me cry again and gets me so emotional. I’m behind some other posts but I think I’m not going to write them anymore. I have been feel a bit stressed about my blog lately like I have to blog about this, not miss this and it’s not good. I’m always a perfectionist so when I finally do something after procastinating then I want to do it good. I prefer quality blog posts then just posts for the sake of it. This blog post will be about my journey to Spain, how I feel, things I have on my mind and how things are right now due to this pandemic. I really missed having a good chat with you guys. This post is basically going to be a rant haha ๐Ÿ˜‚. I hope you will like it.

I can’t believe we are already in August like wtf this year is the longest and the shortest ever ๐Ÿ˜ณ. How do you feel about it? So much has happened in the world these months because of the pandemic. I really imagine myself cheering the new year last year and we all didn’t know what was about to come. It makes me feel bittersweet though. I don’t know how to feel about a new year coming because I don’t know what we have to except. The best thing is having no expectations and just going with the flow. I read a beautiful quote a few days ago which said that so much can happen in 6 months which is true. So, I hope these last 5 months will turn out fine or better than these last months.

In my life, not that much has happened. I still have no job but right now it’s even more difficult to find one related to what I studied. I studied European Studies which is a broad study with a wide range of subjects such as marketing, languages, international relations and politics. I also really find myself thinking of how I would love to make a living out of writing. I crave it so badly. I also love doing yoga, reading, travelling, singing and surfing so much. I’ve also sometimes dreamt about how amazing it would be to build a surf school related to mental health problems to provide people help and support while enjoying the ocean. I can’t wait to maybe go to the beach and surf this Summer in Spain ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ. I miss the sea so much. Maybe those dreams are wild but it would be so amazing. I still feel kinda stuck related to thinking about a career. I used to apply to some jobs in Spain but got no answer. I even did an interview for a internship and never heard back. It’s more difficult right now. I also got information to take an exam for a job in the public sector which is mandatory in Spain. I just don’t know and still feel lost after so many years. It’s normal I say to myself. Anxiety also gets in the way. Some people see it as excuse but they have no idea how hard it’s to live with it and being expected to do everyday stuff.

I also entered some writing competitions. I didn’t won the one from Barcelona. At least I tried. Besides, Barcelona is now more at risk so it’s better not to go. I will hear about the poetry contest about mental health next month. I will also maybe join another contest these days which is about my city Haarlem, in The Netherlands. They are looking for a city poet who will write for them and also earn โ‚ฌ3000 euro each year and will even have the opportunity to publish a book about poems of Haarlem. I will join and we will see what happens next. I have already a no but you never know what may be the result.

Thanks to the pandemic which is also strange to I’m also grounding myself more and being present with all the things I have. I have been doing yoga and medititation many times in a week ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™€๏ธโœจ. It’s so good. I feel more lost and less calm when I don’t do it. It’s been a such a healing tool and I will stick to it forever. I can’t wait to be able to have a job, save money and go to a yoga retreat in Aruba and finally meet Yoga Girl and the whole community. I love it so much. I don’t have a yoga mat here in Spain but I will use maybe a camping mat until I have one here. I crave connection so much. It’s the best. It reminds me I’m never alone and that I always have people behind me. I did a sharing circle on Zoom with Yoga Girl and more than 60 people joined a few days ago which I will share more about in my July favourites. It was so special and omg I also felt anxious and strange. I had never done it before. In real life it would be even more intense. We did a meditation and then we got a sharing partner. We had to talk about our struggles and the other person listened and didn’t give advice. It’s much more powerful then just always interrumpting a person. Rachel Brathen (Yoga Girl) said that we have our answers in our heart. These sharings are so much more powerful than anything else ๐Ÿ’–. I got emotional when I listened and my partner too. I can’t wait to do it many more times.

I’m happy to be back in Spain but also feel mixed feelings. Nothing is normal anymore. Our trip went very well. I was so happy to go but never felt so anxious before a trip. I really didn’t like some of my family members and also a friend of my mother saying we are irresponsible to go to Spain when we are very careful. I couldn’t sleep the night before. I felt so unwell and anxious. I hate to get influenced but others because our trip went super well. We had to wear masks, do social distance and wash our hands often. Nothing new. I’m more used now to wearing a face mask almost all the time because it’s mandatory here in Spain ๐Ÿ˜ท. In Holland it’s only mandatory in public transport and in a regio of Amsterdam and Rotterdam. I changed my mind and think it’s very important to wear it even though it’s a struggle in the heat. We passed the security in 15 min. We drank some tea and ate a croissant and went to the gate. Boarding was nice, the flight was great without any turbulence. There were almost no people. I watched High School Musical ๐ŸŽถ. I loved it. I had never watched it before.

When we landed in the airport of Madrid, they checked our QR-code which is the health paper you have to fill in before you go to Spain. Then you pass a control and there are camera’s above which check your temperature. There are also nurses there in case you are feeling bad. Everything is clean and well organised. We got our suitcases, took a taxi to the station of Madrid and there suddenly I saw my good friend Pedro and his girlfriend. I love to always meet people as a surprise. We ate delicious Spanish food with them and waited for the train. It takes one hour to go to Valladolid by the high speed train. Then we took a taxi home and in the afternoon we were safe and sound at home. I thought something would happen during the trip or I would feel more anxious. I felt more calm because everything went well. I don’t want to listen to scary stories anymore or watch too much news. We are safe and will do anything to stay safe. We can’t stay forever in our homes too.

These days I have been resting in Spain in our home, eating some delicicous tapas and just walking in nature. We also went already to the swimming pool which we love so much ๐ŸŠโ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŒž. I have to enjoy it now before I get my period which I hate even more in Summer. There’s no beach here so the pool is the best place to be. I’m just so much more happier here. It’s been so hot here, like 37 degrees. Right now, it’s 30 degrees. I love Summers in Spain so much. I really craved it. This week I will finally see my friends which I missed so much. I also saw a new restaurant with vegan food and poke bowls omggg can’t wait to try it. I will celebrate my birthday with my friends there ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿค—. I also saw a new yoga studio. Maybe will go there too. I also will go the hairdresser soon. I can never cut much just the death ends and my bangs because I didn’t went for like a year. I also have to go to the dentist end of month to get rid again of one wisdom teeth ๐Ÿฆท. I’m anxious about that again but maybe a bit less than in January. I told about my experience here. It’s still a struggle so please guys be there for me and send me love. I need it. I just know I have no other choice because I have sometimes strange feelings and pain. I can’t wait to be able to say I faced this 4 times and it went well.

I’m really happy to be here but I also feel sadness in Spain. I see elderly walking and I get emotional thinking of how many people have died here and all over the world. In Spain people are so social and always together. The Netherlands has a individualistic culture. It’s so different. You see less people and people are afraid which is normal. Night life is different too. I don’t miss fiestas so much because what I need in life is more connection and deep talks rather than being drunk all the time. It’s been ages for me and I’m really happy to have gone a different way in drinking alcohol. I don’t need to drink much to have fun. The virus is still here and we have to be careful. They are putting some villages in Valladolid in lockdown again which just means that it isn’t over. I hope you all stay safe this Summer and have fun. We are all in this together ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ™.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope it wasn’t too boring. I hope you all liked it. What are you up to during this Summer? How are you feeling? How is your physical and mental health? What do you think of what I wrote? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Summer bucket list 2020 ๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ„๐ŸŒด๐Ÿง๐Ÿน๐Ÿธ๐Ÿ’ƒ

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

Before I share a birthday haul post which is a bit overdue hahah I want to share this blog post. I’m going to share again a Summer bucket list ๐ŸŒž. I often write down 100 things in a journal but it isn’t all achievable of course. I will try to only point down the most important things. If you make a long list of things you want to do, you most likely will not do them all. It could maybe overwhelm you instead of having fun and doing them. This Summer I want to be happy and enjoy life while being safe and follow the safety measures of the pandemic. We all have to enjoy our Summer time but we also have to keep aware and know that the Coronavirus isn’t away. We still have to keep distance, wash our hands and be careful ๐Ÿ™. Let’s get started! ๐Ÿ’–

  • Fly to Spain โœˆ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ

I can’t wait to go to Spain because we didn’t went there since Christmas time. I’m mostly always a bit anxious of travelling. I have to admit that I’m now more anxious to go because of all the things you have to do while travelling. You have to wear a mask in the airplane and during the travel day. I’m afraid to get really anxious or get a panic attack ๐Ÿ˜ข. I of course agree with the safety measures. You also have to fill in a health paper to declare that you aren’t sick. They can check your temperature when you arrive at the airport. Travelling is not like we used to know it. I really want to go with my mother to Spain and enjoy our Summer there ๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ˜. I guess it’s okay we are anxious to travel. I just hope we won’t get sick. I also miss Spain so much so it would be so nice to finally be there. We maybe go at the end of July. I will keep you all updated how things will go.

  • Spend time with family & friends ๐Ÿ‘ช๐Ÿ‘ญ

I miss seeing my family so much. I only see my parents and sometimes my brother and his wife from a distance. I miss seeing my almost 5 year old niece. Her birthday is in July just like the birthday of my brother Edward. I can’t wait to see my niece, Edward and Elke again. They hopefully will come to our house this month. We haven’t seen each other since Christmas ๐Ÿ˜ญ. I also miss my friends so much. Some friends I didn’t see for a half year, others for a year. I can’t wait to have amazing plans with them in The Netherlands and in Spain ๐Ÿ’–. I’m already going on a lunch with my bestie this month and will also go surfing with her ๐Ÿ„. My other friend from Irak is also coming to my house. I also can’t wait to celebrate my birthday in Spain with my lovely friends and eat delicious tapas all together. Spending time with your loved ones is the best thing you can do. Always be around people who are sunshine for you and not around people who drain you. They aren’t worth it.

  • Go to the beach ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿš

This Summer as always I want to go to the beach many times ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒŠ. I already went twice to the beach in The Netherlands. It’s one hour away with the bike. I loved it so much even though the water here isn’t clear like in Spain haha. Beach time is what makes me the most happy. I’m a mermaid and beach girl forever. Summer isn’t good if I don’t go to the beach. The sea knows all my secrets and heals my heart. If we go to Spain, then I hope to go to the beach there too. The beach is there 3 hours away by train. It’s so beautiful in Santander. There’s also a little surf village which is called Somo near to Santander. I would love to go there again. I went there with my mother a few years ago.

  • Go surfing ๐Ÿ„

I can’t wait to go surfing again! ๐Ÿ˜ I always do this on my Summer bucket list but didn’t go surfing since more than 4 years. I miss it so much. My best friend and I were about to go last Summer but it was bad weather so we didn’t go. This Summer we will definitely go surfing together. I can’t wait. Here there’s always wind so it’s a great beach to surf. Maybe I will go surfing too in Somo, in Spain. I would love to go again to a surf camp. You learn so much there. The surfing lifestyle is the best way to live life โœŒ๐Ÿ’–. Enjoying nature, being present and that feeling of being alive when you are out there in the ocean catching a wave. Hearing the waves crashing to the shore and tasting the salt air and sea all creates a sense of peace and freedom. We all need that in life.

  • Read books ๐Ÿ“š

I love reading books and I find the Summer months the best months to read ๐Ÿ“–. I love to read outside in our garden. I also love to read in the park or on the beach. I already read some books these months which I have to review soon. This Summer I would love to read at least 3 books if that’s possible. I don’t want to say more because I’m a slow reader and I don’t want to create unnecessary stress. We learn so much from reading. It’s lovely to read on a Summer day with a glass of lemonade or red wine. You drive away into paradise ๐ŸŒด.

  • Make smoothies, aรงai bowls & ice pops ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ“

I love to make fruit smoothies. I used to make them a lot and I really miss making them. I want to make a lot more these Summer. I also would love to make ice pops and aรงai bowls because I never did that before. I love how it looks like. It must be delicious ๐Ÿ˜‹. I really want to try to make them and share it with you guys. Let me know if you ever tried to make this and which flavour was the most delicious one. All of these are so refreshing for a hot Summer day and also very healthy which is just a win-win haha.

  • Practice yoga in a studio or outside ๐Ÿ™

I do yoga almost every damn day now since March and it helps me so much with anxiety. I feel more at home in my body. I enjoy being spiritual too and just feel more in sync with life and mother nature. I do yoga with Yoga Girl, my biggest inspiration. I do it on her website. Every month I pay just โ‚ฌ14 and I can do everything on there. The live classes with Yoga Girl are so amazing ๐Ÿ’–. I also do full moon ๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒœ๐ŸŒ› ceremonies on there. Doing yoga at home is nice but I also would love to do it again in a studio or have a class outside. I only did that twice in my life. Sometimes I find myself being a bit anxious in a room because of feeling judged in a room full of people. I don’t like big groups. Hopefully I can overcome that and take a class in a studio in The Netherlands or in Spain. The connection you feel with others is so beautiful and so important too in a yoga practice. It makes you feel even more at one with this beautiful world we live in.

Doing yoga at home
  • Share singing covers ๐ŸŽถ

This was the only time I shared a singing cover on my blog. Hopefully I will be able to share more covers here and also on my Instagram ๐ŸŽค. Sometimes I’m just a bit anxious to share it. I love singing but it always takes a lot of courage to film yourself and share it online because of the negative people out there. We just have to think that if someone says something bad about you, it says more about that person than about you. I will have to keep doing what I love because that makes me the most happy. I hope you guys will enjoy it when I’m ready to share it. I also sometimes thought about making a Youtube channel for singing covers but that makes a bit too anxious to do that now. Maybe in the future, who knows.

  • Spend time in nature ๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒน

Spending time in nature is a must during the warm months. I love it so much. I don’t like Winter so I enjoy being outside in Summer. I love to go to the park, enjoy our garden and go to the beach. I love to walk around and go biking ๐Ÿšฒ with my mother. Nature is so alive right now so we have to enjoy it. Spending time in nature also means soaking up the sunshine which is so important for our health too. The sun gives us energy, vitamin D and makes us happier. We need sun light ๐ŸŒž. Don’t forget to always wear sunscreen.

  • Declutter my wardrobe ๐Ÿ‘—

Basically I have to organize my whole room and sort things out but let’s being with my wardrobe. I have to do it here and in Spain. I just never do it haha because I don’t like it. It’s been ages now and it really needs to get done ๐Ÿ™. I also have a hard time in letting clothes go. Some I will treasure and others I will have to donate or sell. I want to try the Marie Kondo way. I hope it works out this Summer. If you have some tips, please let me know.

  • Keep writing poems ๐Ÿ“

I will keep writing poetry in my journal. I hope to be able to share some of my poetry on here. I will also of course keep writing letters to my pen pals and write for my blog. I love to get inspiration from being on the beach or outside in my garden. Whenever I get inspiration โœจ I write it down because otherwise I forget it easily.

Poem about speaking up
  • Be happy, have fun and make the best of this Summer! ๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒˆ

On top of this list is just trying to make the best of this Summer. Hakuna matata โœŒ. Being happy and just enjoying Summer time on our own way is the most important thing. It’s important to take pressure away of having the best Summer ever because every Summer has its ups and downs like life. Summer is my favourite season ever. I’m a Summer and beach girl forever. I’m always SO happy when Summer arrives. In Spain the sun shines every day so I can’t wait to go there and have loads of fun.

Thank you all for reading this fun blog post. I hope you will all have an amazing Summer full of responsible adventure times ๐ŸŒžโœŒ. I hope you will all enjoy it with your family and friends. Make loads of memories. Be safe too. What are you going to this Summer? Are you staying at home or are you going to travel? What of my list are you going to do? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Reflection on 2019 & happy new year to you all! โœจ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’ซ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿค—

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

I’m doing a bit better than when I wrote my last blog. However, I’m having a cold now and my period is coming soon so always something bad. In this blog post I will make a short reflection on 2019. I will write about some low and highs of this year which I also wrote in a journal. Every year has good and bad things. I also wish you all a beautiful new year! ๐Ÿฅณ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’– May all your wildest and biggest dreams come true!

A new year has arrived: 2020. A new decade too. I’m happy to leave this decade because it came with good things but also with bad things. In this decade I met my first love and also got my heart broken at the end of 2012. I’m already 7 years single haha let’s keep up that way ๐Ÿ˜‚. I also experienced beautiful things this decade like graduating college ๐ŸŽ“ and speaking at the United Nations in NYC ๐Ÿ—ฝ because I won an essay competition in Spanish. This happened in the Summer of 2015. I think this was definitely one of the biggest milestones this decade. I guess we can all relate to good and bad moments during this decade. I just really wish 2020 will be a better year for all of us ๐Ÿ™. I hope we will experience beautiful things. I also hope we will survive and grow from the bad things.

My speech about ending hunger in the world at The United Nations ๐Ÿ—ฝ the 24th of July 2015

This year I learned some important life lessons which I will take with me in 2020. I learned that sometimes we can feel more connected to people we have never met than to the ones who are next to us. I love you all so much. You all mean the world to me. I learned that a real friend will be there for you in good and bad times. I learned that life has lows and highs and that most people only share the highs on social media. I learned that it’s good to spend less time online because I only compare myself to others online which makes my mental health worse. It isn’t real life. I also am learning to sit with every emotion whether that’s a negative one such as fear or anger. We have to feel it all, go through it until we can let go. It’s hard because when I feel anxious I just want that feeling to go away as soon as possible as it makes me feel so unwell. I just hope to know how to live with anxiety this next year.

This new year my intention is to listen more to my inner voice and let my heart guide me through life instead of my mind. 2020 will be the year of self love, growth and achieving my dreams. I will use the power that I have of being my authentic and sensitive self. I hope I will be able to get a job I love and which is good for my mental health. I also hope to meet more people I have met on the internet because I align so good with you all. My intention is to feel peace and know how to go through the waves of anxiety. I know I have to overcome some fears such as going to the dentist. Anxiety just doesn’t disappear because it’s the new year. I listened to the podcast of Yoga Girl and did the intention setting ceremony. I think setting intentions is much better than resolutions. Mostly we don’t achieve all resolutions we set for ourselves or it gives us too much pressure.

In 2019 I experienced a lot of amazing things like travelling to new places like Leรณn in March with my mother. I also went to Granada again in July with my lovely mother and met my friend there. In August I went to Gijรณn with my Spanish friend. I want to travel more with friends and also go to a surf camp again this new year ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ. This year I went to the beautiful tulip fields in The Netherlands ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒทThis year I also read more amazing books. To love and let go by Yoga Girl changed my life and I’m forever thankful for that. It was spiritual and beautiful. I will share a review about this book soon. This new year I will keep reading, writing, singing, travelling and doing all things I love. This year I also went to the concert of Alfred Garcia which I loved. Next year I really do hope to go to more concerts like the one of Taylor Swift. I’m dying to see her live as it’s my dream ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽถ I also hope to see Yoga Girl one day. I also hope to get tickets for Eurovision live.

Tulip fields in The Netherlands ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐ŸŒท๐Ÿ˜

Travelling to Leรณn with mama ๐Ÿ˜

Travelling with my Spanish friend to Gijรณn ๐Ÿ’–๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ

Awesome trip to Granada with my mother in July ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒž

I also faced a fear this year which was having a first interview for an internship in a hotel ๐Ÿฉ in Spain. At the end they didn’t call me back but I went there and did my best. I hate interviews so it’s a good thing that I did well even though my heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to die ๐Ÿ˜ญ.

An important event this year was The Netherlands ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ winning Eurovision after 44 years ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿฅ‡๐ŸŽถ This was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. It was a dream coming dream. I’m being a fan of Eurovision all my life so to see this happening was just so amazing and beautiful. I can’t wait to go to the concert of Duncan Laurence soon.

I want to give thanks to my family, friends and all the people I met this year. I’m so happy I met more amazing people. I’m thankful for my pen pals which I met this year. I’m thankful for the Goddess community, the Yoga Girl Community and this community. This mental health community is so important for my well-being. You make my life so much better. It’s so much better to know that I’m not alone with my feelings. We all feel the same things just not at the same time. It’s okay if you have had a hard year. I’m always here for you all. I hope this new year will make our heart glow of golden glitter โœจ.

I celebrated New Year’s Eve with my mother at the home of the mother of Verรณnica and her brother. It was strange to be there without my brother and Vรฉronica. They couldn’t be in Valladolid this time. We ate a delicious meal which was some meat, potatoes and bread with avocado and cheese sauce. I loved the chorizo and jamรณn serrano too which is typical Spanish food. In Spain it’s also typical to eat 12 grapes at twelve o’clock so we did that. I love to watch las campanadas ๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ˜. We also drank some champagne ๐Ÿฅ‚ We watched a program on tv which I love because it’s about Spanish artists singing. I love singing programs ๐ŸŽถ. Later I also played Mario Kart Deluxe and Mario Bros with the Nintendo Switch from the brother of Verรณnica. I really loved it so much and was pretty good at it. I was bad at Just Dance haha ๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿ˜‚ On New Year’s Day I was chilling, resting and watching the movie Notting Hill.

Happy new year my lovely friends! ๐ŸŽ‰ ๐Ÿ’–โœจ I believe in the good things coming and hopefully it will be in abundance this new year. We all deserve it so much. I wish you all love, health and happiness โœจ I love you all so much ๐Ÿ’ž. Thank you for being there for me always. We are always in this together ๐Ÿ’ช

Thank you all for reading this blog post, the first one of the new year yeahhhh โœจ I hope you all liked it. How are you feeling about this new year? What is an intention you have set for yourself this new year? How did you celebrate new year’s eve? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Merry Christmas to all of you! ๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’ƒ๐ŸŒŸโœจ๐ŸŽ…

HO HO HO lovelies ๐Ÿ’ž,

In this blog post I will share some pictures of my Christmas, some thoughts about Christmas and wish you all a Merry Christmas ๐ŸŽ„. I’m still feeling a bit bad. Sometimes I have some cramps or pain in the right side of my stomach. I’m thinking that maybe it could be ovulation pain. My parents thought the same. I hope to feel better soon. At least I have less headaches and my throat is doing better again too. I also have had some problems with my blog as my posts don’t show up in the public reader when you search some tags. I don’t know why. Hopefully, anyone can help me out with this. I would really appreciate that. I was also packing before Christmas to go to Spain this weekend to be able to enjoy Christmas without stressing about that ๐Ÿ˜‚.

Now, let’s talk about Christmas time again. We can get pressured around this time of the year because we are bombarded with positive messages of being happy and of having to enjoy Christmas. While I’m a bit struggling with my health I find it difficult to just be happy because I have to do. I think that’s an unrealistic thought. We have to enjoy Christmas on our way. Do what you love to do. Spend time with your loves ones. Eat what you want to eat and don’t feel any pressure by it. I’m here for anyone who needs it ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ™. It’s okay if your Christmas isn’t happy or if you are struggling. I’m here for you and wish you all the love you need. You are not alone.

This time of the year always makes us reflect on this past year. It make us think of all the people we love. It can make us feel sad and happy. This time of the year can be a hard time for those who are missing someone. I’m thinking of those who are struggling these days with their mental health, physical health or any other struggle of life. You are in my prayers ๐Ÿ™โœจ .

I also really do think that Christmas is about giving and don’t like the consumism and materalism stuff ๐ŸŽ. We don’t have much presents with Christmas because we already celebrated Sinterklaas before. I got amazing presents which you can read in this blog post. I always like to give money for charities and help others in need, not only during Christmas time. A few days ago I donated โ‚ฌ15 for Prinses Mรกxima Centrum which is a hospital dedicated for children with cancer in The Netherlands. I hope my money can help the investigation to make more children better. I also know a little child who has leucemia and is being treated there. She’s a little child, only 6 years old. I know them because of my choir. I wish that she and every little child can get better. They all deserve that so much. I think it’s so important to donate money to good charities and help people in need.

I encourage anyone to give something back this Christmas and whenever you can. Christmas isn’t all about presents, food and all that materialistic stuff. Christmas is about making other people happy and being there for people who need it the most ๐Ÿ’• Make a change and please donate to any charity you like. You will be so thankful and happy that you did. You can also help someone without giving money but give them your time, love and showing them your heart. If someone you know or a stranger is struggling, be there for them. Be the light in those dark times ๐Ÿ’ก. Everyone needs someone sometimes.

I will give this love and light this time to the ones I love and to the ones who need it. We can be each other lights. We can give that light to someone who’s struggling in the darkness. Be that light for someone in need. If that could safe someone’s life and make them feel better then that’s all what counts. There’s nothing what makes me more happier than seeing someone smile because of something I did or some words I said. I wish all of you so much happiness that your heart will glow from golden glitter.

Christmas time for me begins on the 23th of December because it’s such a special date before Christmas. It makes me cry writing and thinking about it ๐Ÿ˜ญ. It’s the wedding anniversary of my parents ๐Ÿ’’. This year they are already 43 years married. I wish them many more years of happiness, luck and love to come. I love them so much ๐Ÿ˜. They are the best parents I could wish for. Thank you mama and papa for always being there for me and for making me believe that real love exists. I’m so blessed to have them in my life. I really can’t live without their love. When I think of someone dying I cry and panic but I have to tell myself to live in the present and that everything is okay now. My daddy was so sick and almost died when I was 11 years old because of an infection in his pancreas and many complications so this universe give him a new opportunity to live. I’m so thankful for that. In the evening my parents are going to the cathedral with an old lady they know. My mother used to clean her house. I used to sing “The nine lessons and carols” but I’m not in that choir anymore. I don’t go because sometimes I get anxiety because of memories. I always use this time to enjoy a bath ๐Ÿ›€ with a Lush bath bomb and paint my nails ๐Ÿ’…. I love to get ready for Christmas and take time for myself. I need me time.

The 24th of December we always celebrate Christmas with the family but this time we celebrated it with the whole family on the 26th which is boxing day. It’s the Second Day of Christmas in The Netherlands. On Christmas Eve my brother Rafael and Verรณnica came to our house and we ate a delicious simple meal. This time my brother, his wife, me and my mother aren’t going to the cathedral but to the church near to our house for the mass. It’s really a tradition to go to church with Christmas ๐ŸŽ„โ›ช. I’m Catholic but don’t know if I believe in God but yes I believe in something, in the universe for sure. There’s a beautiful choir singing. I always feel more safe in this church as it’s more familiar. I don’t want to see all people I know asking questions about my life like when I go to the cathedral. The mass was beautiful. It always makes me feel the Christmas spirit.

I also always wear this Christmas costume like Santa Claus because I enjoy wearing it. My bestie said haha are you going to wear again that wore dress?! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคถ Lol, it’s a bit short that’s why she said that. I never wear it outside though haha it’s way too cold for that. It makes me feel sexy and beautiful. I still can wear it so yeah I enjoy to wear it at home. My family also loves it especially my 4 year old niece. It’s a tradition for me to always wear it until I don’t fit it.

On Christmas day the 25th I enjoyed watching some Christmas movies ๐ŸŽฌ with my parents. Maybe my mother and I would go to the appartment of my brother to see their Christmas tree. The next day, on Boxing Day we celebrated Christmas with the whole family which means with my parents, my two brothers and their wifes and my little niece. We ate a delicious meal which was some meat, potatoes with different sauces and salad. As dessert we had fruits, red fruit mascarpone ice cream ๐Ÿจ and also blackberry juice which my father makes. I loved that so much as it’s very special and so sweet ๐Ÿ˜. His mother also made it when she was alive so the tradition continues. We had such a nice and peaceful time together.

I had a beautiful Christmas time. I also want to say thanks to the mother of my ex lol because we always sent present to her and she to us. It’s already 7 years ago when he broke up with me during Christmas time but I’m finally these last years a bit happy with Christmas and don’t feel that dark cloud so much because of that horrible memory when I felt my world breaking in pieces ๐Ÿ’”. I’m thankful for her beautiful presents which will arrive a week later. I’m also thankful for all the Christmas cards I got from pen pals, blogging friends, friends and family ๐Ÿ’–. I feel all your love. I’m also thankful for the presents I got from Elsie. I loved your presents so much. She sent me this beautiful notebook and the presents you can see below. Thank you Sophia for your amazing presents too. I loved the nail polish as I really need some new ones as most of them are dry haha. I also loved the plate and the wallet. Turqouise is such a beautiful colour. I’m really blessed to be friends with you all. From my brother and his wife I got snowman marshmallows ๐Ÿ˜โ›„ I love to put them in a cup of hot chocolate. It’s delicious ๐Ÿ˜‹

I hope you all will enjoy a beautiful Christmas with the ones you love ๐Ÿ’–. Merry Christmas to all of you! I wish you all love, happiness and luck. I’m so blessed to be part of this beautiful community. I think that’s the best Christmas present I could wish for. Be safe lovelies and enjoy Christmas time on your own way.

Thank you for reading this blog post about Christmas time ๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ…โœจ. I hope you all liked it. How do you celebrate Christmas? Did you enjoy it? What are some traditions you do on Christmas? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

I love you all so much ๐Ÿ’ž,

xoxo Christina

Summer OOTD ๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ‘—

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

From now I’m going to be a fashion blogger haha no just kidding ๐Ÿ˜‚ I like to share OOTD, hauls and stuff. Today I will share a short post about a Summer OOTD. It was 38 degrees almost 40 on Friday. I love Summer and Summer nights but I can’t stand heatwaves. I didn’t felt good, had headaches and my tummy hurt. Now I’m feeling a bit better.

I was about to go eat some delicious Spanish food with my friend when my mamita took this pictures. I was in the mood of puting make up on and dress up. I wore this white dress which I bought from a lovely friend of Instagram. It was a size M but it fits perfectly. I really love this dress so much ๐Ÿ˜ I got so many positive comments when I shared it.

Thank you all for reading this short blog post. Did you like my dress? Do you wear dresses in the Summer? How’s Summer in your country right now? Let me know lovelies ๐Ÿ’—. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Today it’s my 26th birthday! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽโœจ๐ŸŽˆ Forever young yeahhh!

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY (First of June) OMGGG! I’m getting old ๐Ÿ‘ต haha no kidding I’m just turning 26 but it feels like I’m already almost 30 or 100 lol. I have so much back pain lately. I really need to do some yoga and go swimming. It’s still 4 years till I’m 30 but yeah time is ticking away and not standing still. This blog post will be about my birthday and what I have learned this year. June is one of my favourite months because it’s also almost Summer which is my fav season ever! Summer vibes aloha! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ Summer time and the living is easy as they say. I’m in Spain again since Tuesday so I’m very happy. It’s 30 degrees right now! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒž I hope I will stay this happy until the heatwave ๐Ÿ”ฅ come ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ญ Send help.

Before I will tell you all what I have learned this year I have to admit you something. I wrote this blog post this week but right now I’m adding this text. I’m crying right now in my bed ๐Ÿ˜ข as it’s the middle of the night. I feel strange to admit this because it feels like you have to be happy on your birthday. Birthdays come with so many expectations which I hate. I love to celebrate it with my friends and family. I just don’t like that I’m thinking now that I don’t have my life together. It’s just hard to live in a world where you feel more than the average person as I’m also a highly sensitive person.

I have good friends but everyone is living their lives while I’m just standing still because of being anxious. I feel like I can be myself more on the internet when I blog than in real life. I’m always hiding myself because of being bullied when I was younger. Somehow it still hurts me. I’m a very open person and love to be honest but I’m afraid to open up nowadays to people who I don’t know well. I don’t want to get hurt again or experience a broken heart again. I guess I just needed this cry and vent it all out. I’m always here for you all too ๐Ÿ’— I wish we could all meet each other soon. I need to heal myself and my heart. I need to find more people who understands me and who I can be friends with. It sucks to have so many good internet friends which don’t live in the same country as me.

I went to a lot of concerts this year which I’m so thankful for. I love seeing my favourite artists live. Music means the world to me ๐ŸŽถ I love singing as I used to sing in a choir for 11 years. Hopefully I will do something again with singing in my life this year. I need it. Singing makes me feel free, release my emotions and just makes me so happy. Music is life. I went to the concert of Spanish singer-songwriter Sofia Ellar with my friend Maria in Spain. I also went to the concert of Pablo Alboran in June, Hombres G, Celtas Cortos, Operaciรณn Triunfo and Chenoa with my mother during the week of fiestas in Valladolid in September. When I came back in Holland I went to see Vance Joy live with my best friend in Amsterdam. Last night I enjoyed a beautiful concert of Alfred Garcia which I know from the Spanish talentshow Operaciรณn Triunfo. It was amazing to go to this concert and have fun with my friend. It was an unforgettable concert! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽถ Such a great way to start my birthday! ๐ŸŽ‰

I learned this year that my good and real friends and family will always be there for me no matter what. Distance doesn’t matter when the friendship is real. I’m also thankful for all the old and new friends I made in the blogging community, mental health community, Yoga Girl community and pen pal world. I’m so thankful for all the support, love and inspiration I get every day. My life wouldn’t be the same without you all. My biggest wish is to meet you all and hug you all in person ๐Ÿ’• I’m so thankful to know you all. It definitely makes me feel less alone when I’m struggling and also makes me feel more inspired and happy.

Beautiful snail mail from my pen pals
I always get beautiful pen pal letters from Sophia and Rosie โค

I love writing ๐Ÿ“ so much as it’s such a good tool to let everything go. I love to blog and use my insta to spread awareness of important topics such as feminism, mental health, self love, self care, and much more. Some topics are still a taboo so it’s important to spread awareness about them and make people feel less alone. I wish to one day be able to maybe write a book of poetry or something. That would be a dream coming true ๐ŸŒŸ. I wish to be able to connect with more people and inspire more people. Most of all I just wish to spread love, happiness and make this world a better place to live in ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’—

A poem I made some years ago

This year I began to read books again. I was only reading some magazines before of psychology but I also wanted to read again like I used to do during my childhood. I missed the feeling of reading and being in another world. I read some amazing books this year such as “The sun and her flowers” by Rupi Kaur, “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho, “Am I normal yet?” by Holly Bourne and “Turtles all the way down” by John Green. I’m now reading some other books and I will post a review when I’m finished. Reading also makes me feel less alone and makes me happy. There are so many good books out there to be read so hopefully this new year ahead will be a good reading year for me. I’m a slow reader but I will get there hahaha ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ“š

I also learned this year to face some of my fears. I still have a lot of fears to face but I’m getting there step by step even though it’s hard when you suffer from anxiety. I still have a hard time asking for help when I need it. I feel like I can’t ask for help because it makes me feel stupid or weak when it isn’t true. Sometimes we bottle everything up which makes us feel worse. At the end it’s better to let everything out even though it’s scarry. I went to the dentist in Spain for an appointment and they told me all my 4 wisdom teeth need to get out. I’m still so scared as hell to do this one day ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ญ. I know I have to because otherwise I will get problems since they have cavities. I just don’t know how to survive the anxiety about this.

I also am still having a hard time finding a job in Spain. However, last week I got an email for an interview for a shop but I couldn’t be there as I was in Holland. I also did an interview in April for an internship in the best hotel in Spain. Unfortunately, I never got an email back. I guess it’s because I can’t do an internship since I’m not studying anymore. Anyway, I did the interview and that’s still an achievement as well because I was so anxious ๐Ÿ’ช I keep applying to some interesting jobs I see.

4 pictures made into a collage about my internship interview

This year I learned to celebrate every little and big achievement. They all mean a lot to me. Having anxiety makes life even harder so overcoming a fear is a big deal for me. I have to be proud of myself and not be hard on myself. Every year with my birthday expectations comes that I don’t have my life together but who cares. I’m just living each day and making the best of it. I will hopefully achieve my dreams even though it takes time and pacience โœจ

I have also learned that I need to travel more to unknown places. I went to Granada again last Summer with my mother for the third time. I loved it ๐Ÿ˜ It was great to see my friend again and enjoy the beach. I also love to discover new places such as the surfing village Somo in the north of Spain near to Santander. I went there in September with my mother and we enjoyed it so much. I can’t wait to go surfing there this Summer as I didn’t surf for many years. I really miss it ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ. I also traveled to Leรณn with my mother in March. It’s a beautiful city just one hour away from Valladolid. The tapas were delicious and the cathedral was so beautiful with all the stained glass windows. It was our first time in a spa hotel ๐Ÿฉ which was so relaxing. I loved the swimming pool and whirlpool ๐Ÿ›€. I can’t wait to do that again. You just gotta treat yourself.

One of the most beautiful moments of my 25th year was the wedding of my brother with his Spanish wife. The Spanish wedding was really a big moment of last Summer ๐Ÿ’’ ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿคต๐Ÿ‘ฐ. It was beautiful to be there and to witness the love of two people. It was amazing to be all together with the family and celebrate that love. It was an unforgettable day. Maybe one day I will have that fairytale aswell ๐Ÿงšโ€โ™‚๏ธ even though I believe that the most important relationship you can have in your life is with yourself. Loving yourself and respecting yourself is so important. You are already whole before you are in love with someone. Always remember that.

For the rest, I also enjoyed some time with my friends in Spain and in The Netherlands. We had fun and ate delicious tapas together. I also saw my whole family a lot. I love to see everyone especially my little niece. She slept at our house for the first time in March. It was a lot of fun and it was also tiring ๐Ÿ˜‚. It’s great that our family is growing. I also went for the first time in my life to a cremation of a girl who died because of leucemia from my choir. It was a beautiful ceremony. It was heartbreaking too ๐Ÿ’”.

I have a fear of death so it was also again overcoming a fear of mine to go. I also went for the first time to a tulip flower fields in The Netherlands with my mother which was so beautiful to experience! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒท I also swam a lot last Summer and I’m going to do the same this year. Swimming is so good for your health. I love the outdoor swimming pools in Spain so much ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ๐ŸŠ

So it was a beautiful year with ups and downs like every year have. I’m still on my way of achieving my dreams and hopefully I will make them all come true โœจ I hope you will all be in this journey with me and never ever leave me. I will be there for you all too of course. We are all in this together ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’• Let’s rise each other up, be kind to each other and love each other ๐ŸŒ . That’s what the world needs more of.

If one thing I know for sure is that Iโ€™ll always try to make this world a better place to live in because we live on such a beautiful planet! I love La Pachamama! ๐ŸŒ

I wish you all peace, love & happiness! Forever young, wild and free! โœŒ๏ธ We are all childs of the universe. This life is a gift โœจ Thank you all for reading this blog post. I will speak to you all in my next post. In my next blog post I will share more pictures of my birthday, what I did on my birthday and the presents and cards I got from my family and friends ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ’Œ.

My mother gave me this beautiful balloon for my birthday ๐ŸŽˆ It says congratulations Chris without the H haha like they say it in Spanish ๐Ÿ˜‚ Purple is one of my fav colours ๐Ÿ’œ

Love you all so much ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’–,

xoxo Christina

Merry Christmas to you all! ๐ŸŽ…๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿ’•โœจ๐ŸŽ‰

Hey lovely bloggers ๐Ÿ’•,

Merry Christmas to you all. Thank you for always holding space for me. You are all beautiful people. I wish you all happiness, luck and love this Christmas ๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿ’–โœจ๐ŸŒŸ.

IMG-20181224-WA0012.jpg

Today I want to talk about how I celebrated Christmas this year. Unfortunately, I’m having a cold. My noise is running. My throat hurts. I took some paracetamol and tea. Hopefully, this will help me. I’m also going to have my period in a few days and I’m going to travel this Thursday the 27th to Spain. It’s always with Christmas that I get sick and also always with travelling I get my period. I hate that so much ๐Ÿ˜ญ I just accepted that it’s okay to feel this way also on Christmas. Not everything has to be perfect.

So my brothers, their wifes and my niece came in the afternoon the 24th. We celebrated Christmas Eve with them and my parents at our home. I always put my Santa Claus ๐ŸŽ… dress on just to take some pictures haha. Before dinner we unwrapped all our presents. I got a star and a heart to put in the Christmas tree ๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŒŸ. For my niece I bought a purple unicorn and my brother bought a mermaid for her. I loved it haha. I just want to be a mermaid and live in the sea and be happy and free ๐ŸŒŠ. My parents got a beautiful photography book of pictures of the wedding of my brother.

Afterwards, we all ate dinner. I felt sometimes stressed because my niece was acting bad. She didn’t want to listen all the time. Maybe she was just tired but her mother, the wife of my brother was angry at her. I know she’s right but the situation was pretty stressful. My niece was crying sometimes. Dinner was so delicious ๐Ÿ˜ We ate potatoes with different sauces, a piece of meat, salad and stewed pears made by my lovely mother. As dessert we had delicious vanilla ice cream, fruits and the best thing: blackberry juice made by daddy ๐Ÿ’•. We all loved it. Noanne said mmmm love it. After eating ice cream she always goes wild so she ran through the house so cray cray ๐Ÿ˜‚ Then she got on the bank and was covered with blankets, pluches and got tired.

After dinner we drank some tea and then my brother, his wife and my niece left our home. We stayed talking a bit until 9.30 pm to go to the cathedral where I used to sing in the choir. My brother, his Spanish wife and my mother went to the Midnight Mass. I always find it important to go to church on Christmas Eve and pray. Christmas is about giving love to others and being there for others. I could feel myself being anxious so I took a medication to make sure I wouldn’t get more anxious. Going to see my choir always brings me so much memories. I told myself it’s okay to take medication to be calm and when I need it.

We arrived pretty early at the cathedral. We went to our seats. We could see the choir and we were not seated in the middle with all people. For me and also for my mother’s it’s perfect because we don’t like to sit with many people. My mother and I went to the toilets. They were all restaurated. There were 6 toilets for men and also for women. All clean and it looked beautiful.

The first person I saw was a girl which used to sing in my choir. She’s really nice and ask me how I was doing and since when I was in The Netherlands. I said that I was here since the end of September and that I was looking for a job in Spain. We talked a bit. She said that it was really nice to see me. It’s nice when someone says that to me ๐Ÿ˜Š. Then I saw the sister of Lisa who died just three months ago. I already wrote about her so much on my blog. She gave me a strong hug which I loved. She asked me how I was doing and then I said well mmm. I asked her the same and we talked a bit. She told me I can always come with her one day to the choir to talk with them. It’s nice that she said that to me. I gave her another hug and said that she’s so sweet. She also told me that I have been such a strong support for their family. After talking to her I could already feel tears in my eyes. This story just touched me so much. I also have to say that the way she gave me those hugs were so warm and I really needed those hugs. We all need hugs & more love in this world โค๏ธ. You never know what someone’s going through.

Then I went back to my seat and enjoyed the Midnight Mass. My choir sang so beautiful. It’s like angels are singing ๐Ÿ˜‡๐ŸŽถ. It began at 10.30 pm and ended at 00.00. I was so happy that I just felt calm because of taking my medication for anxiety. When the Midnight Mass was ended I saw the mother of Lisa and the husband of Lisa. I walked to them and gave them both a hug. It was fine to see them again. They told me it was heartwarming what I wrote about Lisa in my blog. I’m happy that they liked what I wrote about her in my blog. I have to admit that I didn’t know Lisa that well. Stories of young people dying from cancer and just any horrible story touches my heart. I’m a highly sensitive person so I cry about everything. I can also feel others emotions easily. Sometimes feeling so deeply can make living in this world pretty overwhelming too. I’m trying to control my emotions more but sometimes I just can’t. I also wrote a Christmas card to her family with a own written poem and they wrote me one too. I’m looking forward to the Christmas card.

At the exit in the church I saw again the mother of Lisa and her husband and also the father. I also greeted him and we talked. The father asked me how I could speak Spanish. I said that I’m bilingual because my mother learned me Spanish since I was a baby. I also took Spanish lessons and had Spanish as a subject in my college. I also did my internship and exchange in Spain. I have always lived between two countries and have two homes ๐Ÿ˜‚ I said that I also have good Spanish friends there ๐Ÿ’• We also talked about emotions. I said that Dutch people show emotions less and Spanish people are more caring and emotional. It’s also the temperament of Spaniards. Then I said goodbye and we went home.

On the first day of Christmas my parents and I unwrapped the box with presents ๐ŸŽ from the mother of my first love. My mother got a hairbrush and Christmas cocktail prickers. My father got something for cleaning and delicious tea with different flavors. On my presents she wrote: “Princess Christina.” I remember when I was together with my first love and she always said that to me in Switzerland๐Ÿ‘ธ She’s so sweet ๐Ÿ’• I love her very much. Maybe, one day we will see them again. I got earrings, black panty socks and Mickey Mouse socks which I love so much ๐Ÿ˜ They are so cute. I also got chocolate hearts and more chocolate for us all. I always got these chocolate hearts when I was together with my ex. They are so delicious. I also loved the card she wrote. It were all nice presents. In the afternoon we saw “First dates” from UK together with my parents. It’s a programme on tv where people have a blind date together. It’s really fun. We also saw “Heel Holland bakt”. That’s about a competition of baking. We love to watch it and the pies and sweets look so delicious.

Afterwards, I dressed up to go with my parents to the appartement of my brother and his wife. It’s just 15 minutes away by car. We ate delicious pasta with meat and vegetables, salad, bread and vanilla ice cream. We also drank some mint tea with some delicious sweets made by the wife of my brother. We were at their home at 7 pm and stayed a few hours. When we got home we saw again a programme on tv about baking. Later at night I saw “All you need is love” with my mother. It’s about couples who live far away from each other or families who didn’t see each other for a long time. They bring them all together so that they can enjoy Christmas together.

Today it’s boxing day in The Netherlands. Today we all just rested and I finished packing my suitcase for Thursday the 27th that I’m going to Spain ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธโœˆ๏ธ I’m also having a cold. I like the view from the airplane but I always get anxious while flying. I hate turbulence so I better take a medication for anxiety. Listening to a postcast of Yoga Girl or listening to music also helps me to calm down. I just need to have distractions. I also saw the movie It’s a wonderful life with my parents which I didn’t see before. I got emotional and cried because it was such a beautiful movie with so much meaning. At night I will see the liveshow of Christmas from the Spanish talentshow Operaciรณn Triunfo ๐ŸŽค I loved to see the finalists of this year singing with famous artists and also the finalists from last year. I love them โ™ฅ๏ธ.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all had an amazing Christmas time. How was your Christmas? What did you got for gifts? What did you do? Let me know in the comments. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Christmas tag ๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ…๐ŸŽโ›„๐Ÿ’•

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

It’s time for a Christmas blog post as I didn’t wrote one this year haha too bad. I will make some Christmas blog posts this week so be prepared of it. I hope you will all like it. For today I will do a Christmas tag. I choose some questions which I found and which I’m going to answer. It was a fun post to write and brings me into the Christmas spirit ๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ…

1. Whatโ€™s your favourite Christmas movie? ๐ŸŽฌ

My favourite Christmas movie is Love Actually ๐Ÿ˜ I love all these cute stories and I always have to cry. I love the song: “Christmas is all around us”. I also love the famous actors Hugh Grant, Keira Knightly, Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean), Alan Rickman (who plays Snape in Harry Potter series) and so many more. I also love the movie The Holiday so much which I just saw last weekend. I have to watch some new Christmas movies which I didn’t watch such as Elf and It’s a wonderful life. Everyone is talking about it. It make me curious.

2. Have you ever had a White Christmas? โ„๏ธโ˜ƒ๏ธ

Yeahhhh I had and it was the most wonderful Christmas ever ๐Ÿ’• Christmas with snow is for me the perfect Christmas. I always celebrate Christmas in The Netherlands with my family. It was a few years ago that I was singing in my choir and that it was snowing so much. These last years it didn’t snow anymore. Just last weekend it was snowing a bit but unfortunately it’s already gone. Snow just makes me so happy because a snow landscape is soooo beautiful. I hate the cold but I love snow haha ๐Ÿ˜‚. The only bad thing is that after Christmas we always go to Spain like this year on the 27th. If it snows I will have problems with our flight.

3. Where do you usually spend your holiday? ๐ŸŽ‰

I always spend Christmas in The Netherlands with my family and New Year’s Eve and Three Kings day in Spain. I love to have two countries because I experience two different cultures and their traditions.

4. What is your favourite Christmas song? ๐ŸŽถ

My favourite Christmas song is definitely the popular song “All I want for Christmas is you” by Mariah Carey. My favourite Christmas carol is “Walking in the air” from The Snowman. I always sang that with my choir.

5. Do you open any presents on Christmas Eve? ๐ŸŽ

I celebrate Christmas with my parents, brothers and their wifes, my niece at our home. They are always coming the 24th in the afternoon. We ate together dinner and before dinner or after dinner we open the presents by the Christmas tree ๐ŸŽ„ We don’t have that many presents because we already celebrated Sinterklaas this month and I also will celebrate Three Kings Day in Spain. After dinner I often go to the church with my mother, brother and his wife to watch my choir sing. This is called the Midnight Mass as it’s at 10.30 pm and takes about almost two hours.

6. What holiday traditions are you looking forward to this year? โœจ

I love to watch Christmas movies and I already watched some of them such as the movies Home Alone. I also already wrote and sent Christmas letters. I love to receive the handwritten letters. It means so much to me when someone takes the time to write me a letter rather than a message on Facebook or via Whatsapp. That isn’t personal. I also love to sing Christmas songs and carols. I will share one song soon on my blog yeahhh excited ๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿ˜โœจ I’m also happy that this year I’m doing the self love advent challenge of Melissa Wells on Instagram and it’s really fun to do. It’s important to love and take care of ourselves in this busy time. I also love to eat every day a chocolate from the advent calendar haha otherwise it’s no Christmas spirit for me.

7. Is your Christmas tree real or fake? ๐ŸŽ„

Our Christmas tree is always fake. I love real Christmas trees. They smell so good. My parents find it more useful to have a fake one and it’s also a beautiful big one which we use every year ๐Ÿ’•.

8. Whatโ€™s your all-time favourite holiday treat/food/sweet? ๐Ÿซ

I love Christmas chocolate wreaths. This is a typical tradition in The Netherlands. You put them in the tree and it looks nice and also taste delicious. Who doesn’t love a bit of chocolate? I also love Christmas stollen which is typical in Germany and here in Holland. In Spain the tradition is to eat Turrรณn which I like so much. Turrรณn is nougat confection typically made of honey, sugar and egg white, with toasted almonds or other nuts, and usually shaped into a rectangular tablet. You have them in a soft or hard version. I love the hard one with chocolate of course.

Christmas chocolate wreaths

Christmas stollen

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Turrรณn

9. Be honest, do you like giving or receiving gifts better?

I like to give presents but it takes me time to think of what to buy this person and wrap them all. This all makes it stressful. I love to give but receiving presents is much better and less stressful hahah ๐Ÿ˜‚ I love to get presents and wrap them open. I love the surprise ๐ŸŽ

10. What is the best Christmas present you have ever received? ๐ŸŽ

I always get most presents with Sinterklaas then on Christmas. I love to get chocolate or warm pyjamas. The most amazing present I got for Christmas was from the mother of my first love ๐Ÿ˜‚. We always send a box of presents and a Christmas card to his mother in Switzerland and she does the same. I got a Swarovski bracelet from her when we already broken up. I love Swarovski crystals so much ๐Ÿ˜ I almost never wear this bracelet because I’m afraid to loose it. When I had a relationship my ex gave a beautiful golden necklace with a heart which was also from Swarovski. I’m sad that it got stolen on a party. I never found it back ๐Ÿ˜ญ

11. What would be your dream place to visit for the holiday season? ๐Ÿ—ฝ

NEW YORK CITY ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿ—ฝ I already went one time to New York City when I got to speak at the United Nations for winning the Many Languages, One World Essay competition of 2015. I still need to write a blog post about this. It was a one in a lifetime experience. I f*cking love New Yorkso much. xoxo Gossip Girl vibes ๐Ÿ’• I always loved to see NYC in series and movies and thought if it would be as beautiful as in the movies. I was right. It was even more beautiful ๐Ÿ˜ Christmas in NYC would be a dream coming true. I would love to go ice skating in Central Park and see the beautiful Rockefeller tree. One day this dream will come true โœจ๐ŸŒ ๐ŸŒŸ

12. Are you a pro present wrapper or do you fail miserably? ๐Ÿ˜œ

I’m not a pro because I use sometimes too much tape but I also don’t fail that hard. I guess I’m in the middle haha.

13. Most memorable holiday moment? ๐Ÿ’•

I think when I was singing in the choir many years ago. I always felt more in the Christmas spirit because of singing typical choir Christmas songs. I will post a video of me singing a carol this Christmas. I miss singing in the choir but I also wouldn’t want to go back because of some memories. However, I think I’m going to face my fear and go to the Midnight Mass on Christmas eve. I almost go every year with my mother, brother and his wife. It’s beautiful and also so emotional. I’m catholic but I’m not sure if I believe in god but I just know that there must be something. For me going to the church on Christmas eve is really important. I want to be able to pray and think of others during the holidays.

14. What made you realise the truth about Santa? ๐ŸŽ…

When one girl in primary school told me that Sinterklaas didn’t exist I had to cry and that moment I also begin to realize that everything was fake. Sinterklaas, Santa Claus and the Three kings were my parents. I was 10 years old I think. It makes me sad that kids have to believe in those lies and then find out eventually that it’s all fake. There’s just so much magic in believing that Santa Claus is real. I think that’s also why Christmas was more special and beautiful when I was a child. I miss that feeling of being care free and true happiness. Hopefully, I will find that feeling again โœจ I really need it.

15. What makes the holidays special for you? โค๏ธ

For me the most important thing about Christmas is to give love and help others in need. I also love to spend time with my family. It’s what matters the most. I tear up of thinking how much I love my family. I would be lost without them ๐Ÿ˜ญ Always honor and remember your roots ๐Ÿ’•. I sent an Christmas e-card to my mother and donated โ‚ฌ10 therefore to the Shelter charity organization which helps homeless people. I also think it’s so important to donate money to good charities and help these people. Especially with Christmas many people are alone, homeless or need any form of help. I encourage anyone to give something back this Christmas. Christmas isn’t all about presents, food and all that materialistic stuff. Christmas is about making other people happy and be there for people who need it the most ๐Ÿ’• Make a change and please donate โœจ๐Ÿ™ You will be so thankful and happy that you did.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all enjoyed this Christmas blog post ๐ŸŽ„ I’m still going to post some posts with Christmas so you know it. I already wish you all a happy Christmas โœจ May all your dreams come true. Do you agree with my answers? What do you love about Christmas? Are you excited for Christmas? Let me know in the comments. I will speak to you all soon.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Summer OOTD: green floral jumpsuit ๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ‘—๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿƒ

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

Today I just want to share a little blog post before I share with you the big wedding blog post. That takes more time haha ๐Ÿ˜‚ with all the pictures that I want to share and all the things I have to tell. Today I went for the 11th day to the swimming pool with my mother this Summer ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŠ๐ŸŒžโœจ We had a great time and even swam when it was raining a bit. Not a few rain drops are going to stop us from swimming.

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Floral Jumpsuit: from the big shop in Spain called El Cortรฉ Ingles. It was on sale when I bought it. I just waited to buy it hahah. First it was โ‚ฌ26 but on sales it was โ‚ฌ13.

I love my green floral jumpsuit โค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Œ I never had one before. It’s always great to wear new clothes. I’m also matching with the grass yasss I’m one with nature always ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ€๐Ÿƒ When I bought it I already knew that my mother had to sew it. She sewed it and now I fit better in it.

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Thank you all for reading this short blog post. I’m always used to write long blog post so it’s nice also to share something short. Did you like my green floral jumpsuit? Do you also love to wear a jumpsuit?

Much love โค,

xoxo Christina

Summer 2018 bucket list ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ„๐ŸŠ๐Ÿ‘™๐Ÿ’•

Hey lovely bloggers ๐Ÿ’–,

In this blog post I will share my Summer 2018 bucketlist ๐ŸŒž. I will share the 10 main things I want to do this Summer. I already made a list of 100 thing in my journal but I thought it would be way too much to share haha. I do that every year and then I don’t do everything on that list because it’s too much. The list isn’t in any order and is my personal list.

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  • Attend the wedding of my brother Rafael and his girlfriend Verรณnica

I think this is going to be one of the main events this Summer. I already have my dress for the wedding which I showed in this blog post Fuchsia dress and below. I went again to the shop a few weeks ago to make some adjustments for the dress and will get my dress back in one week. I’m looking forward to this wedding since they told it to us last Summer. I love weddings so much. The wedding is on the 11th of August. My other brother Edward married a few years ago. Now, it’s time for my other older brother Rafael who is going to marry his Spanish girlfriend Verรณnica. He’s going to marry with 40 years old and Veronica is 38 years old. It reminds me that it’s never too late to marry someone. Weddings are so special. My Spanish family and Dutch family are coming aswell as my niece. It’s going to be again one of the best days of my life, an unforgettable day where we celebrate the love of Rafael and Verรณnica with the whole family. I’m also going to my first bachelor party ever of Rafael and Veronica and their friends and some family members. We are going to bar to have dinner and fiesta time ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ƒIt’s going to be fun!

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  • Go to the outdoor swimming pool at least 20 times in Valladolid

I only go 6 or 7 times in the Summer months and it’s really short for the two Summer months. The outside swimming pools are open since the end of June till the beginning of September. Sometimes I find myself lazy to go but I know that it will do me so much good. Swimming is good for relaxing and good for my mental health aswell. I love swimming so much. It’s good for my back pain, my anxiety and just everything. I always feel hungry and sleepy after swimming. It makes me feel like I’m flying in the air hahah ๐Ÿ˜‚. It’s such a good natural medicine. I also already read somewhere that the colour blue from the ocean and from the swimming pool make you feel so happy and relaxed. I already went three times to the swimming pool this Summer, so I will keep going to reach my goal of 20 of more times. Here are some pictures from these days.

  • Travel to the beach as much as I can

I want to go to the beach this Summer as much I can. I live in Valladolid which is in the main centre of Spain. The nearest beach for me is in Santander which is three hours away by train. I hope I can go to Santander after the wedding as in August or September. I love the beach so much ๐ŸŒŠ. I always miss it and cry when I have to go home. The ocean is my home. It’s so good for your health, happiness and mindset. I’m going to Granada next week to visit a friend and we are going to the beach one or two day like we did a year ago. I can’t wait to swim in the Mediterranean Sea. Good vibes only! โœŒ There the sea water is warm and not like the cold water in the north of Spain which is the Atlantic Ocean.

  • Be creative and invest time doing my favourite hobbies

I love to blog and I’m happy to keep on writing amazing content. I want to expand content and always come up with new ideas. In August my blog will turn one year old and I want to celebrate it with you all. I also love to write poetry and want to share it with you all. I also love to read and want to read more self help books and magazines which also helps to beat my anxiety. I want to keep taking pictures with my polaroid and digital camera. I want to record more singing covers because I love singing. I sang in a choir for 11 years and enjoy it a lot. Maybe, I can start a Youtube channel so that I can share it on my blog with you all. I want to continue writing in my journal and cherish memories. Being creative is just the best. I hope I can be really creative this Summer and share it with you all โค๐Ÿ‘Œ

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  • Go stargazing and see beautiful sunsets on the beach

I love the moon, the stars, the sun and just the whole universe so much. I love to go stargazing in the Summer and especially on the beach. It’s just so beautiful to see all those bright stars in the darkness. In the Summer you can also see many shooting stars. I love to make wishes on shooting stars. I also love to watch beautiful sunsets on the beach. It always looks like the sun is going down in the sea. The colours of the sunsets are also stunning and so beautiful. It give such a sense of peace. I always take some pictures from this moment to cherish these beautiful memories. The picture on the right is from La Rabita, Granada (Mediterranean Sea) where I went last Summer and will go again this Summer.

  • Face a fear

It’s great to have this as a challenge this Summer. By facing a fear I mean something I get anxious about and which makes me uncomfortable. For me facing a fear means a lot to conquer. I love to run away from things and postpone everything I fear rather than face it because of my anxiety. I know it’s bad because this fear will grow and grow. Then it will be more and more difficult to face that fear at the end. I have to go to the dentist because I have a caries in my wisdom teeth and I’ve some problems there. I know I’ve to do it even though the dentist makes me so anxious. I also have to look for a job and I don’t like job interviews (I’ve only had one in life and they never called me back) and also don’t like calling. If I face one of these fears this Summer I would be really proud of myself ๐Ÿ’ช. I know I’ve to push myself a bit but it will be worth it. I hope you can all wish me luck ๐Ÿ€

  • Travel a lot

I love to travel, meet new people and be in contact with people from other cultures. It really expands your mind. Travelling makes me so happy. I want to travel at least 2 or 3 times this Summer. I’m going to Granada (Andalucia, which is in the south of Spain and take 7 hours by bus from Valladolid – 600 km!) next Tuesday the 24th till the Saturday 28th with my mother. I’m going to visit my friend Antonio and his family. I met him on my way to New York City three years ago when I won the Many Languages, One World Essay Contest. It was in the Summer of 2015. Soon, I’m going to make a blog post about this one day. I’ve already been twice to Granada and loved it so much. We are also going to the beach of La Rรกbita. Going to Granada feels like a tradition because I go every Summer. My mother and I booked a hotel in the city centre which is perfect to enjoy eating tapas, shopping, visisiting the city and the beautiful Alhambra. You will see a blog post about this travel trip soon. I also want to go to a surf camp this Summer in the north of Spain and go a few days to enjoy the beach in Santander with my friend Maria in August or September. The picture below with “life is for…” is a picture I made during a holiday in Mallorca a few years ago. The picture below with my favourite beach towel was made last Summer in La Rabita, Granada.

  • Go to concerts/festivals

I love going to concerts so much, especially in the Summer because they’re almost every time outside. I also love to go to festivals and went one time in The Netherlands to Surfana festival with my best friend where there was beautiful live music, great food and awesome things to do such as surfing, doing yoga, wine tasting and other creative activities. Going to concerts and enjoying your favourite artist is just the best. Music is life and definitely increase my happiness ๐ŸŽถ. I already went to the concert of Sofia Ellar which took place last month. I also am going to enjoy the fiestas week in Valladolid in the beginning of September with my mother and friends. There are going to be many awesome concerts in the main square of the city centre. This is going to be the third time that I’m going to enjoy this beautiful week.

  • Go surfing after two years

The last time I went surfing was during Surfana festival two years ago in the Summer of 2016. I really miss surfing so much. Last Summer, I said that I was going to a surf camp and at the end I didn’t go. I also had to study during that Summer time which was the worst thing ever. I went twice to a surf camp here in Spain. It was so awesome. I want to go this Summer again to a surf camp, meet new people and enjoy surfing. Surfing makes you feel so free, happy and peaceful. I have my own wetsuit but I’ve to wear it and look if I still fit in it. I’m a beginner and still can’t surf waves but I’m learning it. Surfing is just da best ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ„โœŒThe ocean is where I’m the most happy. I enjoy every single moment and forget the whole world around me. I respect the ocean and sometimes I get scared because it feels infinite and is so deep. The ocean is everything I want to be. Beautiful, mysterious, wild and free. The picture below is from the Summer of 2015 where I went to Art Surf Camp in Galicia, in Spain.

  • Be happy and enjoy Summer to the fullest

Maybe, this can sound cliche but it’s really important for me to just enjoy Summer and be happy.ย Last Summer, I enjoyed Summer but was feeling many times worried and anxious because I didn’t pass my last exam of law from my studies in order to graduate. I had to do this exam again at the end of August. I remember times that I went to the swimming pool and when I came back home I was tired and had to study during the night. It was really exhausting for me. This Summer, I’m free and I just want to be happy and enjoy everything what Summer has to offer. Feeling bad in Summer makes me feel even worse because Summer is the time that life feels lighter and I also feel so much happier in Summer. I’m a Summer girl right ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜„๐ŸŒž Go away winter. I wish it could be Summer forever but then maybe you don’t enjoy it as much as I do now. That feeling of longing for Summer I’ve all year long is so great when it’s finally Summer and you can enjoy it. The sunshine is makes me feel so happy.

 

I love the pictures I shared in this blog post. I searched these pictures on Google and Tumblr. I hope you like them too. Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all like this blog post. What are your Summer plans? Do you also have a Summer bucketlist? Do you also love the beach as much as I do? Do you like my list and can you relate to it? I would love to know it in the comment section. I will speak to you all in my next blog post. I hope you all enjoy Summer. Happy Summer to you all! ๐ŸŒžโœŒ

Love you all so much ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina