Hey lovelies 💕,

I’m back again on the blog and I just want to be able to write again about anything at any time. I really missed it. I also missed the interaction with bloggers so much. I found our Ashley has died by depression. I miss her so much. It was hard to know this news 😥💕. I will forever miss you and you will be forever in our hearts. I also miss my other blogger friends who are inactive now. I hope my best blogger friends will come back someday. Here is a story about something I’m going through right now which is the change of selling our home in The Netherlands.

I look around in my home 🏡. All I can feel in the air is change. It feels like a total different home. Are we really going to sell our beloved family home? It feels strange. It makes me feel unsteady. Unsure about anything in life. My daddy always said change is the only constant in life which is true. It just feels hard. I feel all the feelings. I tell myself it’s okay. You don’t have to feel one certain thing. Emotions are mixed up always combined.

The cleaners came and they cleaned the whole house. It feels more fresh which is nice. The stylists came and changed our home and made it look more modern and presentable for the potential buyers. The next day, the photographer came and took pictures of the house. Now we will have to wait until everything is ready to have our house on the market online. It just feels strange.

Some random people come into your home. Change stuff and make it look totally different to be able to sell it better this way like what?! The first days after this happened I felt so unsettled. Totally not grounded. I felt grief. Loss. Missing my daddy in this emotional process 😥💔. It was also his idea and from my mamita of course to take this step. He will always be there for us in our hearts. It’s just hard.

It’s so important to feel at home in your house. It really makes the difference also for your mental health and whole wellbeing. I love to declutter but I don’t like a minimalistic home. That doesn’t feel like me. I also have a hard time to accept change or like feel grounded when these kind of things happen. It takes me awhile to get used to fake plants, some strange art and the change of the position of my bed. I think I will change that again haha because I wanna be able to sleep well. My mental and physical health always comes first above anything.

I have always loved the idea of going to live in Spain. I still love it. I love the food, culture, language, people, beaches, nature, climate and just everything there 🌞🌊. I just feel a lot of feelings which is okay. You can be happy about a change and hopeful but also feel unsettled and scared. It’s a loss and a blessing at the same time. Just taking it day by day and step by step is very important now for me. Otherwise I feel I’m getting bad again which isn’t worth it.

They say it’s just a house. It’s true but it’s a home full of memories with my family and friends. Those memories will forever be in my heart. It’s a huge change. I have lived here almost 30 years. It’s not like something easy. This house is my house for all my life. The one thing which at the end makes it easier to move on is the death of my daddy. Since he isn’t here anymore our home feels different. Too big. Too silence. Too much for us. At the end I know it will be kinda okay but for now we just have to keep swimming like Dory says. First you have to go through it until you feel like it all makes some sense 🙏. They say every end is a new beginning so we will see what’s going to happen 🌱.

Thank you all for reading my blog post. How do you deal with changes? Any tips for me? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post 💕. I wish you alll a year full of love, health and happiness.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina