Category: other

Today it’s my 27th birthday! 😍🎂🎉🎁✨🎈 Forever a gemini child ♊ and hippie girl yeahhh! ✌

1 Jun 2020

Hola lovelies 💕,

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!!! 😍🎉 OMG 27 YEARS YOUNG. I feel old lol 😂. I have sometimes pain in my body like period cramps, back pain, feeling nauseous, teeth problems, suffering from anxiety but lol I still lived 27 years so I guess it’s okay. I feel like a grand mother 👴 sometimes. This blog post will be about my birthday and some things I learned these years. It’s a kinda strange birthday because of this pandemic and lockdown but it’s also special. It’s the first birthday in 4 years that I’m again in The Netherlands celebrating it and not in Spain. My good friend is sleeping here. My brother, his wife, my bestie and her girlfriend are coming today but of course with distance. Better, than nothing. I miss face to face connection so much. I missed seeing them so much 😭.

I sometimes feel a bit depressed, anxious and emotional with my birthday because of society’s expectations. In 3 years I’m 30 years old but I still feel like a ”baby” in the world. I don’t have a job yet, no hushband, no baby, no driving license, no car or don’t own a home. Does that make me unsuccesful? Does that make me not worth it in this society? I just hate that society create those rules. It only makes me feel depressed and create more anxiety. I am where I am in live and it’s all okay. I’m realizing now more and more that who I’m is more important than what I do.

If there is one thing I’m realizing now during this pandemic and just this year in general is that I have to choose for myself. I have spent so much years of my life doing what other people expected of me. I have spent so much time in doing things I don’t like or being with the wrong people. It only drained me and made me feel bad about myself. I have wasted too much time in toxic relationships. It wasn’t worth it. I realized afterwards that all these people and boys had one thing in common: they didn’t deserve my love. I give so much to people and didn’t get that same amount of love back. They weren’t worth my time. If only I knew then what I know now I would not have done certain things or wasted my time on the wrong people. I failed, I learned and I grew from these mistakes. I will try to not repeat them in the future.

I have always hide myself and I still do that at times and I’m done with it. I hide myself because of being bullied 😢. Not many bullies seem to know what the consequences are of bullying. It’s really the worst for your mental health. I still suffer sometimes when someone is laughing or talking a bit loud. Then instantly I think it’s about me but of course it isn’t true. Anxiety is also being caused of being bullied. I’m done with hiding myself for who I’m. I’m happy that I’m being myself know more and more online and also in real life. I have the best friends in real life, online and family in the world 😍💕.

I want to be completely myself in everything I do and in everything I am in life. I have always been afraid of growing older because of being afraid of death. I also talked about that topic in this blog post. Now, I’m realizing that growing older is also a privilege. Not everyone can grow older because of sickness. I have also been afraid of aging because I always thought I have to be a certain way in life. I can’t like or do the things I like now in a few years. Well, that’s a misconception. I will forever be the hippie girl ✌, mermaid and wild child I’m 😂. I will not change for anyone. I WILL BE MY CRAZY SELF. I will keep reading young adult books 📚, blogging, penpalling, surfing 🏄, travelling the world, singing 🎶, loving the sea 🌊, listening to my favourite artists such as Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Julia Michaels, Sofia Ellar, Duncan Laurence, Aitana, Amaia, Alfred and keep having fun with my friends. I will keep being myself which means being romantic and sensitive. I’m a highly sensitive person and feel every emotion and also suffer more. I can’t take that away from me because otherwise I wouldn’t be me. Growing older doesn’t mean I have to change about what I like or not. I just grow wiser.

This year I faced one of my biggest fears which was going to the dentist to get one of my wisdom teeth pulled out. I’m SO proud of myself for doing this!!! 💪 It’s a big achievement for me. I spent years in anxiety and I still know I have to get three out. The first step is there. It went all so great because of the lovely dentist and his team. He knew exactly how to support me and take care of me while I had so much anxiety. You can read it here. Sometimes I feel some problems in my teeth because I still have to get rid of three. I prefer to do it in Spain but we postponed our trip because of the pandemic. Maybe we can go in the Summer if it won’t be dangerous for any of us. I’m just really happy to have faced this fear. I hope with the next visits I will feel less anxiety. I know anxiety will be there always but hopefully a bit less now I know how things go. That’s also the reason I prefer to go in Spain because I know the dentist. I find it hard to trust again in someone new. It’s nice to go to some familiar places.

This year I also have had some amazing good times with my friends and family 😍💃. My last birthday was amazing because my friend from Granada came to visit me for the first time in Valladolid. Me and my Spanish friends ate all together in a creperie. We had such a great time together. I also enjoyed my time with my Dutch friends in Haarlem in November. I came back from having a hard time in Spain and being so anxious about having to go to the dentist and just life. It was nice to be able to enjoy some time all together eating delicous tapas in La Cubanita. In January I ate there again with my good friend. I also had a nice time with my family eating all together and celebrating birthdays. I really miss that but I know that time will come again.

I also travelled to beautiful places this year which were my second home Valladolid in Spain ✈🇪🇸. I’m so blessed to have that in my life. I love my Spanish friends and family so much. It’s home. I even feel more at home there than in The Netherlands where I have been born. Home is also where your favourite people are. I love both countries so much but Spain always more haha. In July I travelled again for the 4th time to Granada, one of my favourite cities in Spain. I have a good friend living there. My mother and I went to his appartment at the beach and also enjoyed the city itself. We always have an amazing time and I really can’t wait to go back!!!! 😍🌊 It’s a tradition to go each Summer but we don’t know if that will be possible this year. I also travelled to Gijón which is in Asturias for the first time in August with one of my best friends in Spain. We had such a great time. We enjoyed the beach, had great fiestas haha, eat delicious tapas, went shopping and had such a great girl time.

It was years ago since I went with a friend again on a holiday. I really missed it and I can’t wait to do it again. I still remember that night we met some cool guys which invited us for drinks without anything in return. No bad boys for once yeahhh. They were partying with us the whole night. It was so much fun. One of their friends was about to marry. I just can’t wait to travel again to new places in Spain and wherever in the world because travelling makes me so happy and most importantly, it makes me feel ALIVE!!!! You make new friends, have fun, learn about different cultures and learn more about life and this world we live in 🌍.

Right now, I just submitted a story for a contest which is called ”A sea of words” just like my blog like what the hell?! The European Institute of the Mediterranean tagged me on a post in Instagram. Otherwise I would never have found it. My instagram for my blog is also called that way. It’s a contest which is every year and the topics can be about gender equality, climate change, environment or just anything related to make this world a better place. This year it was about young people faced with climate change in the Mediterranean and the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development. First I wrote an essay but it wasn’t what they ask for so I had to change it into a story which was a bit more difficult. The story I wrote is about me being in the sea with my boat and then suddenly being stuck surrounded by plastic bottles. Then a man comes to help me and talks about how important it is to take action. I have always had that inner voice inside of me who says to take action and give some ideas. I already won an essay contest in 2015 and spoke at the United Nations in New York City 🗽 so I thought why not try again even though my inner critic is loud sometimes. The jury is now reviewing the stories. The 10 best winners will go to Barcelona at the end of September for free and will have a creative writing course and dicuss their ideas. It’s really so amazing. I will keep you informed if I win and if it’s even possible to travel.

A few days ago I also submitted my two poems 📄 about vulnerability and strength for the organization MIND in The Netherlands. This organization helps people with mental health illnesses. My poems are about the sea and about being bullied and how that made me stronger and about accepting myself for the way I’m. The winner will be chosen online from the best 5 and the winner gets a poetry award. The 5 winners can speak their poem in an event. All these things make me super anxious and are so outside my comfortzone but I have to do it because I love writing and I know that I’m good at it. I have to stop bullying myself that I’m not good or smart enough. I will keep my fingers crossed ✌🙏.

With all of these things I do and did in the past, I’m just being myself and embracing the person who I’m which loves to write, do yoga, sing, surf, travel the world, read and help other people and hopefully making this world a better place. I love La Pachamama!!! 🌍😍 Thank you all so much for forming part of my life. Thank you all for being there for me in good and bad times. I love you all so much. I wish you all peace, love & happiness! Forever young, wild and free! ✌️ We are all childs of the universe. This life is a gift ✨ Let’s hope this new year of life will be amazing too!

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I’m so happy to have you all in my life. Do you also join writing contests? Do you think 27 years is old? Do you think society creates rules for us? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

A to Z of things to do while being in self isolation 🏡💕🙏

5 Apr 2020

Hey lovelies 💕,

I have not been doing well at times because of anxiety. I get overwhelmed by all what’s happening in the world. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night sweating and felt also cold. I was so anxious to get sick 😢. I had cramps. It will get over though. I also have my period soon so everything is harder. At least the sun shines brightly this weekend 🌞 and we can enjoy it in the garden and in the park. I know many bloggers and other people are writing these kinds of posts which I love to read. They all inspire me so much. I thought about writing my own post about it but different than others. One day I wrote a post which was called A to Z of my favourite things in life. I loved to make it as it was much fun. I hope you will like it too and that it inspires you during this though time 🙏💖.

A – Make art 🎨

It’s the perfect time to get creative, draw, paint and write 📝.

B – Baking 🍲 and bath time 🛀

I can’t bake well but I would love to learn to do it more. I used to bake some cookies 🍪 with my daddy when I was little and I loved it. I love to take a bath so much. It’s so relaxing and calming. I just bought some amazing Lush bubble bars and bath bombs which I can’t wait to use.

C – Make a collage 💖

I used to love making collages in journals and for school too. It’s a great time to do this now. Get creative and put your favourite things of your life in it. You could even later use it for your room as decoration.

D – Drawing 🖍️ and dancing 💃

I can’t draw very well but I know so many of you can. Take the time to draw something nice. I love to have some good old dance parties in my room too while listening to my fav artist Taylor Swift 😍. It’s so good for us to move.

E – Eating 🍴

Hahah I mean I can’t live without eating some good food 😂😋. Now is the perfect time to eat some healthy food and also enjoy some nice chocolate and whatever you would like. I would love to make some delicious fruit smoothies too. I always make them during Summer months.

F – Facetime with your friends and family 👪 and feel your feelings 🙏

It’s important to stay in contact with our loved ones even though we can’t see them. I don’t use Facetime because I have no iPhone but of course Skype, Zoom, Whatsapp videocall or whatever works for you exists too. At least you can see that person and talk to them. It’s a great way to release emotions to. It’s so important to feel our feelings whether that’s happiness, anger, sadness or whatever comes up. Your feelings are valid. Right now we are all suffering and surviving on our way. Find a way to feel your feelings, release them and then let them go.

G – Gaming 🎮

I don’t play at all games but I love Sims. I wish to play it again. I also loved to play Rollercoaster Tycoon, Sonic and Super Mario Bros. I wish to have that at home right now. It’s a great time to do some nice games.

H – Horse riding 🐴 and house cleaning 🧽

This one sounds maybe strange because many people can’t leave the house. In The Netherlands it’s still alowed to go horse riding, walking or being outside in nature if there are not much people around. It’s really nice for the ones who are able to do it. I have never been such a fan of horses but some of them are really beautiful. One day I also rode one little horse haha omggg I was scared. They are so huge! You could also use this time to clean your house. I already cleaned a bit of my room but I have to do it way more and also organize some stuff.

I – Imagine yourself at a beautiful place 🌍🌊🌈🌞🌴

I always love to daydream and to imagine myself on a beautiful island enjoying the beach, the sunshine and being under a palmtree. I’m forever a hippie and Summer girl 🌞🌈🌊🦄🤙. Whenever I imagine myself on a beautiful place I feel calmer and I sometimes use it to be able to sleep better. It makes you happier, more hopeful and just lighter. We need imagination to feel better especially during these though times where the whole world feels scary and uncertain.

J – Journalling 📝

Journalling is so nice. I do it sometimes but I wish to do it more. I also would love to begin one day with a bullet journal. I’m just not so consistent like with my blog. Some bullet journals which I have seen online are so beautiful. I love to be that creative one day.

K – To be kind 😊 and kissing 💋

Being kind is so important especially nowadays. Be kind to yourself and to others. You can write someone a letter, be there for them and help them with anything they need. Also, if you are self-isolated with the people you love it can be possible to kiss that person or otherwise blow some kisses in the air haha.

L – Learn something new 💭 and listen to some good music 🎶

It’s a great time to learn something new. Maybe learn a new language, learn to play an instrument or try to learn a dance. There are many ways to learn something new with the internet. I would love to learn to play guitar and piano one day. Unfortunately I don’t have them at home. I love to listen to some music. It makes me happier and calmer too. Music is life.

M – Movie time 🎬 and meditate 🙏

There are SO many amazing, beautiful and inspiring movies to watch. You can use Netflix, Kodi, Disney+✨or any other channel you use to watch movies. I’m so happy with the Google Chromecast which we got from my brother. I’m watching loads of movies with my mother and also Spanish series. I also love to do meditation. I do it every day now with the meditation sessions of Yoga girl.

N – Paint your nails 💅

I always love to pain my nails even though I’m not a professional at all haha. I love to paint them in the colours I feel. During the Summer months I often use more bright colours such as blue, violet and purple than during the Winter months. During Christmas I love to use glitter nail polish.

O – Offer some help to someone who needs it 🙏

Be of service and offer some help to those who need it. Maybe you can help some elderly with doing groceries. Maybe you can call someone who is having a hard time right now. Listen to people and be there for them like you want the same for yourself too. We are all in this together. It’s time to all help each other.

P – Painting 🎨, listening to some podcasts 👂 and penpalling 💌

I loved to paint when I was younger. I would love to pick that up someday as well. It’s good to let ourselves have fun and letting our inner child out while painting. I also love to listen to podcasts. The one I listen to is the one of Yoga Girl, my biggest inspiration in life 😍. You can find her podcasts on Spotify. There are so many good podcasts out there. I also love to penpal as you guys know. Penpalling is writing handwritten letters to friends all over the world while sending them nice crafts, stickers, things you make, sticky notes, washi tape or anything nice.

Q – Quilting 🧶

I have seen people doing quilting on my social media. It wouldn’t be something for me because I think I wouldn’t be patient enough but it would be a nice hobby to do during this time.

R – Reading 📚

Of course reading has to be on this list! I love to read. I’m currently reading a poetry book mental health related. I can’t wait to read more unread books I have at home. I also have more in Spain but unfortunately I’m not there right now. You will see a review soon of some amazing books I’ve read.

S – Sleeping 😴 and watching series 📺

Sleeping for me is even more important than eating. If I don’t sleep well I feel more anxious and just generally bad. It’s time to rest now and sleep more. We need it. Also, you can never fail with watching some nice series. My favourite Spanish series are Amar es para siempre, Luimelia and Cuéntame cómo pasó and of course Pretty Little Liars and Gossip Girl. Now is the time to watch your favourite serie!

T – Tidying up the Marie Kondo way 🗃️ and drinking a delicious tea 🍵

Marie Kondo is the famous Japanese cleaning consultant. She knows how to organize stuff at home. It’s beautiful to watch. I have to watch her series and read her book. I also have to take action on it as I’m so lazy to organizing things. I’m so attached to stuff and find it hard to do clothes away. It would be nice to declutter and only have things in my closet which sparks me joy. Also, drinking tea is always a nice way to calm yourself down and just enjoy the moment. My favourite tea is Yogi Tea.

U – Play ukulele 🎸

I wish to be able to play guitar or ukulele. It would be nice to sing along while playing. Make some time for it if you have one at home.

V – Plant some vegetables 🌱

This weekend it’s going to be a sunny weekend with almost 20 degrees here 🌞😎. I really want to start to plant some flowers in my garden. Planting some vegetables would be nice too. Many people are gardening now as it’s the time to do it. It’s nice to be back to the basics like planting a seed and watching it grow.

W – Walking 🚶 and writing 🖋️

I’m happy we are still alowed to go for a walk in nature where there are not many people around. I love to walk in the park with my mother. There is so much space to walk around. There are also beautiful fields of sheeps and cows. Fresh air is so good for our health especially our mental health. We need vitamine D too 🌞. I also love of course to write. Writing is the best thing ever. I’m writing a lot for my blog and I also am thinking of joining an essay competition. You have to write about climate change and could win a trip to Barcelona in September. It would be SO amazing! 😍 I already won in 2015 an essay competition and spoke at the United Nations. These contests make me so happy and inspired. I have to give myself more credits of being a great writer.

X – Watching Xoxo Gossip Girl 📺💋

Watching Gossip Girl is always an amazing plan! I have watched all seasons but I never get bored of watching them again. One of the best series ever. I love the parties, Serena and Blair, their dresses and just everything. I can’t believe that in 2015 I’ve been to New York City 🗽. It was a dream came true when I won that essay contest. It has always been on my bucketlist.

Y – Do yoga 🧘‍♀️

I’m doing yoga every damn day now and it’s been so beautiful to practice 30 days for this challenge called #30daysofspace by Yoga Girl. The classes are for free. You can find them here. You only have to make a free account. I wish to have money to upgrade my account afterwards. I also practice yoga for free with Adriene on Youtube. Yoga is just so good for our health. My mental health is better when I practice and it’s also good for my back pain.

Z – Zzzz 💤

Take a nap whenever you need it. In Spain this is called siesta time haha 🇪🇸😂. We need that rest. You don’t have to feel guilty for needing to rest. The world has paused. I never like those people who are rushing through life and who always say they are busy. That’s not enjoying life. Rest is our birth right. That’s mother earth her biggest lesson for us.

Thank you all for reading this fun post. I hope all liked it. What are you doing from my list? What would you like to try? Any more suggestions? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

Today it’s my 26th birthday! 😍🎂🎉🎁✨🎈 Forever young yeahhh!

1 Jun 2019

Hola lovelies 💕,

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY (First of June) OMGGG! I’m getting old 👵 haha no kidding I’m just turning 26 but it feels like I’m already almost 30 or 100 lol. I have so much back pain lately. I really need to do some yoga and go swimming. It’s still 4 years till I’m 30 but yeah time is ticking away and not standing still. This blog post will be about my birthday and what I have learned this year. June is one of my favourite months because it’s also almost Summer which is my fav season ever! Summer vibes aloha! 😍🌊🌞🏄‍♀️ Summer time and the living is easy as they say. I’m in Spain again since Tuesday so I’m very happy. It’s 30 degrees right now! 😍🌞 I hope I will stay this happy until the heatwave 🔥 come 😂😭 Send help.

Before I will tell you all what I have learned this year I have to admit you something. I wrote this blog post this week but right now I’m adding this text. I’m crying right now in my bed 😢 as it’s the middle of the night. I feel strange to admit this because it feels like you have to be happy on your birthday. Birthdays come with so many expectations which I hate. I love to celebrate it with my friends and family. I just don’t like that I’m thinking now that I don’t have my life together. It’s just hard to live in a world where you feel more than the average person as I’m also a highly sensitive person.

I have good friends but everyone is living their lives while I’m just standing still because of being anxious. I feel like I can be myself more on the internet when I blog than in real life. I’m always hiding myself because of being bullied when I was younger. Somehow it still hurts me. I’m a very open person and love to be honest but I’m afraid to open up nowadays to people who I don’t know well. I don’t want to get hurt again or experience a broken heart again. I guess I just needed this cry and vent it all out. I’m always here for you all too 💗 I wish we could all meet each other soon. I need to heal myself and my heart. I need to find more people who understands me and who I can be friends with. It sucks to have so many good internet friends which don’t live in the same country as me.

I went to a lot of concerts this year which I’m so thankful for. I love seeing my favourite artists live. Music means the world to me 🎶 I love singing as I used to sing in a choir for 11 years. Hopefully I will do something again with singing in my life this year. I need it. Singing makes me feel free, release my emotions and just makes me so happy. Music is life. I went to the concert of Spanish singer-songwriter Sofia Ellar with my friend Maria in Spain. I also went to the concert of Pablo Alboran in June, Hombres G, Celtas Cortos, Operación Triunfo and Chenoa with my mother during the week of fiestas in Valladolid in September. When I came back in Holland I went to see Vance Joy live with my best friend in Amsterdam. Last night I enjoyed a beautiful concert of Alfred Garcia which I know from the Spanish talentshow Operación Triunfo. It was amazing to go to this concert and have fun with my friend. It was an unforgettable concert! 😍🎶 Such a great way to start my birthday! 🎉

I learned this year that my good and real friends and family will always be there for me no matter what. Distance doesn’t matter when the friendship is real. I’m also thankful for all the old and new friends I made in the blogging community, mental health community, Yoga Girl community and pen pal world. I’m so thankful for all the support, love and inspiration I get every day. My life wouldn’t be the same without you all. My biggest wish is to meet you all and hug you all in person 💕 I’m so thankful to know you all. It definitely makes me feel less alone when I’m struggling and also makes me feel more inspired and happy.

Beautiful snail mail from my pen pals
I always get beautiful pen pal letters from Sophia and Rosie ❤

I love writing 📝 so much as it’s such a good tool to let everything go. I love to blog and use my insta to spread awareness of important topics such as feminism, mental health, self love, self care, and much more. Some topics are still a taboo so it’s important to spread awareness about them and make people feel less alone. I wish to one day be able to maybe write a book of poetry or something. That would be a dream coming true 🌟. I wish to be able to connect with more people and inspire more people. Most of all I just wish to spread love, happiness and make this world a better place to live in 🌍💗

A poem I made some years ago

This year I began to read books again. I was only reading some magazines before of psychology but I also wanted to read again like I used to do during my childhood. I missed the feeling of reading and being in another world. I read some amazing books this year such as “The sun and her flowers” by Rupi Kaur, “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho, “Am I normal yet?” by Holly Bourne and “Turtles all the way down” by John Green. I’m now reading some other books and I will post a review when I’m finished. Reading also makes me feel less alone and makes me happy. There are so many good books out there to be read so hopefully this new year ahead will be a good reading year for me. I’m a slow reader but I will get there hahaha 😂📚

Turtles all the way down book from John Green

I also learned this year to face some of my fears. I still have a lot of fears to face but I’m getting there step by step even though it’s hard when you suffer from anxiety. I still have a hard time asking for help when I need it. I feel like I can’t ask for help because it makes me feel stupid or weak when it isn’t true. Sometimes we bottle everything up which makes us feel worse. At the end it’s better to let everything out even though it’s scarry. I went to the dentist in Spain for an appointment and they told me all my 4 wisdom teeth need to get out. I’m still so scared as hell to do this one day 😢😭. I know I have to because otherwise I will get problems since they have cavities. I just don’t know how to survive the anxiety about this.

I also am still having a hard time finding a job in Spain. However, last week I got an email for an interview for a shop but I couldn’t be there as I was in Holland. I also did an interview in April for an internship in the best hotel in Spain. Unfortunately, I never got an email back. I guess it’s because I can’t do an internship since I’m not studying anymore. Anyway, I did the interview and that’s still an achievement as well because I was so anxious 💪 I keep applying to some interesting jobs I see.

4 pictures made into a collage about my internship interview

This year I learned to celebrate every little and big achievement. They all mean a lot to me. Having anxiety makes life even harder so overcoming a fear is a big deal for me. I have to be proud of myself and not be hard on myself. Every year with my birthday expectations comes that I don’t have my life together but who cares. I’m just living each day and making the best of it. I will hopefully achieve my dreams even though it takes time and pacience ✨

I have also learned that I need to travel more to unknown places. I went to Granada again last Summer with my mother for the third time. I loved it 😍 It was great to see my friend again and enjoy the beach. I also love to discover new places such as the surfing village Somo in the north of Spain near to Santander. I went there in September with my mother and we enjoyed it so much. I can’t wait to go surfing there this Summer as I didn’t surf for many years. I really miss it 🌊🏄‍♀️. I also traveled to León with my mother in March. It’s a beautiful city just one hour away from Valladolid. The tapas were delicious and the cathedral was so beautiful with all the stained glass windows. It was our first time in a spa hotel 🏩 which was so relaxing. I loved the swimming pool and whirlpool 🛀. I can’t wait to do that again. You just gotta treat yourself.

Me with the letters León
The swimming pool in the spa hotel in León
Stained glass windows in the cathedral in León

One of the most beautiful moments of my 25th year was the wedding of my brother with his Spanish wife. The Spanish wedding was really a big moment of last Summer 💒 💏🤵👰. It was beautiful to be there and to witness the love of two people. It was amazing to be all together with the family and celebrate that love. It was an unforgettable day. Maybe one day I will have that fairytale aswell 🧚‍♂️ even though I believe that the most important relationship you can have in your life is with yourself. Loving yourself and respecting yourself is so important. You are already whole before you are in love with someone. Always remember that.

For the rest, I also enjoyed some time with my friends in Spain and in The Netherlands. We had fun and ate delicious tapas together. I also saw my whole family a lot. I love to see everyone especially my little niece. She slept at our house for the first time in March. It was a lot of fun and it was also tiring 😂. It’s great that our family is growing. I also went for the first time in my life to a cremation of a girl who died because of leucemia from my choir. It was a beautiful ceremony. It was heartbreaking too 💔.

I have a fear of death so it was also again overcoming a fear of mine to go. I also went for the first time to a tulip flower fields in The Netherlands with my mother which was so beautiful to experience! 😍🌷 I also swam a lot last Summer and I’m going to do the same this year. Swimming is so good for your health. I love the outdoor swimming pools in Spain so much 😍🇪🇸🏊

So it was a beautiful year with ups and downs like every year have. I’m still on my way of achieving my dreams and hopefully I will make them all come true ✨ I hope you will all be in this journey with me and never ever leave me. I will be there for you all too of course. We are all in this together 💪💕 Let’s rise each other up, be kind to each other and love each other 🌠. That’s what the world needs more of.

If one thing I know for sure is that I’ll always try to make this world a better place to live in because we live on such a beautiful planet! I love La Pachamama! 🌍

I wish you all peace, love & happiness! Forever young, wild and free! ✌️ We are all childs of the universe. This life is a gift ✨ Thank you all for reading this blog post. I will speak to you all in my next post. In my next blog post I will share more pictures of my birthday, what I did on my birthday and the presents and cards I got from my family and friends 🎁💌.

My mother gave me this beautiful balloon for my birthday 🎈 It says congratulations Chris without the H haha like they say it in Spanish 😂 Purple is one of my fav colours 💜

Love you all so much 😍💞💖,

xoxo Christina

Loving you is a loosing game 🎶

17 May 2019

Hey lovelies 💕,

It’s time again for a singing cover 🎶. I once shared a cover from the song Supermarket flower by Ed Sheeran in this post. I hope you all like this cover I made a few days ago. As a eurofan of Eurovision Song Contest I wanted to make a cover of Arcade from Duncan Laurence who will represent The Netherlands in Eurovision this year 💗🎶🇳🇱 .

You can listen to my cover here:

View this post on Instagram

Cover Arcade – @itsduncanlaurence 💗🎶🇳🇱 . I spent all of the love I've saved We were always a losing game Small-town boy in a big arcade I got addicted to a losing game Ooh, ooh All I know, all I know Loving you is a losing game @itsduncanlaurence will represent The Netherlands with this beautiful song called Arcade in Eurovision Song Contest this year. Thursday is the second semi final and I hope that Duncan will go to the finals and of course win Eurovision! Every time I listen to this song I get emotional and cry. It makes me feel so much. All the feels. It's a beautiful song and has a beautiful melody which I can't get out of my mind. The lyrics is so good too. Duncan is an amazing singer songwriter. I love him because he is so down to earth, bubbly and sensitive 💕 He is such a cutie. Everything about this song and about him is WOW. I can imagine how many people can relate to this song and get emotional when they listen to it. The videoclip was made in the water. His inspiration came from a loved one that passed away at an early age. She was hoping for her loved one to come back but he didn't. Arcade is a story about the search for the love of your life. It’s about the hope to reach something that seems unreachable. The water surface in the video represents the hope. The nude reflects the vulnerability and perhaps the rebirth from the hope. We all can relate to this story in our own lives too like when a dream can't be reached, when someone is dying or when you heart is broken and you are still longing for that person to come back. I really do hope The Netherlands wins after 44 years with this unbelievable beautiful song which gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it. If a song can make you feel so much emotion and if the singer also brings that emotion to the audience then for me it's definitely a winner 🏆😍 I really want to be able to see The Netherlands and also Spain win Eurovision Song Contest for once in my life. Good luck Duncan! Whole Europe already loves you as you are still number one in the bookmakers. I guess that's already a good sign. I can't wait for Thursday and Saturday! 🎉🇳🇱 Let's gooo and win yeahhh! 💗💗💗💗💗💗

A post shared by Sea of words 🌊 (@seaofwordsblog) on

“I spent all of the love I’ve saved
We were always a losing game
Small-town boy in a big arcade
I got addicted to a losing game

Ooh, ooh
All I know, all I know
Loving you is a losing game“

Duncan Laurence will represent The Netherlands with this beautiful song called Arcade in Eurovision Song Contest. Thursday is the second semi final and I hope that Duncan will go to the finals and of course win Eurovision! Every time I listen to this song I get emotional and cry. It makes me feel so much. All the feels. It’s a beautiful song and has a beautiful melody which I can’t get out of my mind. The lyrics is so good too. Duncan is an amazing singer-songwriter. I love him because he is so down to earth, bubbly and sensitive 💕 He is such a cutie.

Everything about this song and about him is WOW. I can imagine how many people can relate to this song and get emotional when they listen to it. The videoclip was made in the water. His inspiration came from a loved one that passed away at an early age. She was hoping for her loved one to come back but he didn’t. Arcade is a story about the search for the love of your life. It’s about the hope to reach something that seems unreachable. The water surface in the video represents the hope. The nude reflects the vulnerability and perhaps the rebirth from the hope. We all can relate to this story in our own lives too like when a dream can’t be reached, when someone is dying or when you heart is broken and you are still longing for that person to come back.

I will share again the videoclip because it’s just too beautiful to not watch it:

IT’S JUST THE BEST VIDEOCLIP I HAVE SEEN ❤ OKAY? OKAY. BYE

I really do hope The Netherlands wins after 44 years with this unbelievable beautiful song which gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it. If a song can make you feel so much emotion and if the singer also brings that emotion to the audience then for me it’s definitely a winner 🏆😍 I really want to be able to see The Netherlands and also Spain win Eurovision Song Contest for once in my life. Good luck Duncan! Whole Europe already loves you as you are still number one in the bookmakers. I guess that’s already a good sign. I can’t wait for Thursday and Saturday! 🎉🇳🇱 Let’s gooo and win yeahhh! 💗💗💗💗

Thank you all for reading this blog post and listening to my cover. Did you like my cover and this song? Are you going to watch Eurovision Song Contest? Which is your favourite song/artist from Eurovision this year? Let me know in the comments. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

A to Z of my favourite things in life 💕

23 Jan 2019

Hey lovelies 💕,

I always wanted to make this blog post. I saw many bloggers doing this too. I’m going to make a list from A to Z of my favourite things which makes me happy in life. I hope you are going to like this post and be inspired by it. I’m only choosing one word or more for every letter because it’s difficult for me to choose only one hahaha 😂.

A – Art 🎨

I love art. The earth without art is just eh is one of my favourite quotes. It’s just so true. Art is beautiful. I love to go to museums and I really want to go more and enjoy paintings. I love every form of art such as paintings, photography, music, literature and dancing.

B – Books 📚

Omgggg hell yeah books are one of my favourite things in life. I want to read more this year and for the rest of my life. You learn so much of life and from the world by reading. If people hurt you, books will always be there for you. You cry, laugh and just feel every feeling while reading a good book.

C – Cats & Cuéntame como pasó 🐈📺

I love cats. I used to be a dog person too because I was always carrying about the dogs in my neighbourhood in The Netherlands. However, I prefer cats now much more. They are so cute and fluffy 😍🐱😻 I don’t know if I would ever get a cat because I’m always travelling but I love to be around them. They are really cute except that random one cat who was biting me once 😂

I love the Spanish serie Cuéntame Como Pasó so much. The actors are amazing. I also learn so much of the Spanish history with the serie. I cry, I laugh and just feel every feeling when I watch it. It’s about a Spanish family and shows how they live during that time. I can’t wait to watch the new season.

D – Dress 👗

I love to wear dresses in the Spring and Summer time. It’s basically my favourite thing to wear around this time. In Spain I can use them more because it’s much more sunnier than in The Netherlands. My favourite dresses are ones with flowers, my favourite green dress or jumpsuit.

E – Eating 🍴

I love food so much. I like to eat with friends or family at home or in a restaurant. I like to enjoy eating rather than to eat because you have to eat. Who doesn’t love to eat good food? 😋 It’s such a nice pleasure.

F – Friends/family and flowers 👪💐

Family is so important for me as well as my friends. Life is beautiful but also though so we all need a little bit of help from our family or friends. It’s so important to have the right people in your life who will love you and be there for you 💕

I also love flowers so much. I love to see them blossom in the Summer months. Flowers are beautiful and they make me so damn happy 🌸🌻🌼 This picture is from the beautiful tulip park in Holland.

G – Grass 🌱

I love the smell of fresh grass and I love to sit on grass when it’s sunny. My favourite thing to do is laying in grass and watching the beautiful clouds go by. I also like to read a book on the grass.

H – Home and hearts 🏡💕

Home is where the heart is. I love home because it’s the place I feel the most safe. I love to live in a cozy home where I feel happy and at peace. I’m also blessed to have a home because I know there are many people living on the streets in this world. Thats just breaks my heart. We have to be happy of the things we have.

I also love hearts so much. They make me so happy. I always have stuff in my room covered with hearts. I also love to have clothes with hearts prints. I have to buy more of them.

I – Ice cream 🍧

Ice cream is one of my favourite things to eat in life. I love soft ice cream, italian ice cream and just everything about ice 🍦🍨. My favourite ice cream is italian ice cream and especially the chocolate, chocolate mint chip and coconut flavour. I also like to have a Mc Flurry at the McDonald’s. You can never eat enough ice and you can eat it whenever you want, not only in Summer. The picture below is from last Saturday when I enjoyed eating a delicious ice cream with discodip.

J – Juice🍹

I love when my mother makes natural orange juice or when we make together delicious fruit smoothies. It’s just the best. It’s healthy because it’s full of vitamins and also taste delicious.

K – Kiwi 🥝

I love eating kiwis so much. They are delicious and they are one of my favourite fruits. They are very healthy and full of vitamins too.

L – Love 💖

Love is really the most important thing in life. You can love your parents, your husband/wife, your boyfriend/girlfriend or any of your friends. Every form of love is beautiful. Love is the essence of life. Life without love would be a hell. We can never have enough kindness and love in this world. Love just makes everything better in life.

M – Music & movies 🎶🎬

Music is life. I can’t imagine life without music. Music is always there for you. Music is there for you when you are sad, happy or just when you want to feel inspired. I love going to live concerts and meeting my favourite artists. I’m so blessed I live in this world where there are amazing artists and such amazing music to listen to 🎹🎧.

I love to watch movies at home. It’s been such a long time since I went to the cinema. I have to go again because I miss it. The last time I went I felt a panic attack upcoming so that’s why I don’t go anymore. I love watching movies because it makes you learn so much about life and transport you to another world.

N – Nature 🌍

Nature is just the most beautiful thing in this world. Nature is all that lives on this earth such as the flowers, trees and animals. I also love the different landscapes such as the mountains and the beach. I’m so blessed to live on such a beautiful planet. I also know that we have to take care of our planet. I can’t wait to discover and enjoy more nature this year 😍🌳 It always makes me feel so happy and calm. Nature gives us so many lessons such as to be present and enjoy the moment. This picture below is from the time I was in Mallorca. My favourite island ever! 😍 I can’t wait to go back. I have already been there 3 times.

O – Ocean 🌊

The ocean and the beach is my favourite place on this earth. The ocean is my home. It makes me feel so peaceful and so happy. I can’t wait to go to the sea soon and enjoy some surfing lessons and swim in the ocean. It’s the place where I feel young, wild and free. I love the quote of the surfer Laird Hamilton which is this one: “The biggest sin in the world would be if I lost my love for the ocean.” This is definitely that one quote which let you see how much I love the ocean.

P – Pizza, pasta, photography & Pretty Little Liars 🍕📷💕

Pizza is my favourite food. I also love pasta so much. I love to eat this food so much. Who doesn’t love to eat a delicious pizza or delicious pasta? I always eat mini little pizzas at home. I also eat a lot of macoroni at home which my mother makes. She also makes a delicious natural tomato sause which makes it even better 😊

I also love photography. I have many cameras which includes a polaroid camera and a lomography camera. I want to make and share more pictures also on this blog to let you see my love for photography. My brother also loves photography for his whole life and has now his own wedding photography company with his wife.

One of my favourite series is Pretty Little Liars. I love to watch it even though sometimes I get scared. Who’s A haha 😂 This serie is about 5 girls where one of them Alison get missed and they are trying to solve this mistery. There’s a person called A who’s blackmailing and stalking them all the time. They have to find out who it’s but things get complicated and people get murdered. I love all the actors and it’s such a good serie. I’m almost at season 6 now.

Q – Quotes 📝

I love quotes so much. We all need a good quote to live by. I find so much inspiration in beautiful quotes. Sometimes I find them on social media, on Tumblr, in a book or while watching a movie. It feels good to read a quote when you feel sad and want to feel less alone. They also makes me happy and feel inspired ✨

R – Rainbow and roses 🌈🌹

I love to see a rainbow. I think it’s such a beautiful wonder of nature. There always come sunshine after rain which is just like life. After bad times good times will come.

I also love roses so much. They are my favourite flowers among with beautiful daisies 🌼 Roses are so pretty to see and also smell so well. My favourite rose is the red rose.

S – Sun, Summer, sunflowers, singing and surfing 🌞🌻🎤🏄😎

I had to think of so many things with the s. I already wrote ocean by the letter o so I didn’t use the sea here. I love the sun which gives us so many good vibes and warmth. Summer is my favourite season because of the sunshine and more daylight. Life is just so much prettier and better in Summer.

One of my other favourite flowers are also sunflowers. I love to ride along the sunflowers fields in Spain. In The Netherlands there’s less sunshine so they don’t grow that well as in Spain. Hopefully, one day I can make some beautiful pictures there and share them with all of you.

I love singing and surfing. They are one of my favourite hobbies. I used to sing in a choir in The Netherlands for 11 years. I really wish to sing more again. I also would love to go to a surf camp again in Spain this Summer. It’s been more than two years since I surfed. I also am craving that so much.

T – Tea and travelling 🍵✈️

Tea is my favourite hot drink. I always drink it even on hot Summer nights 😂🔥 I just love drinking tea so much. My favourite brand is Yogi Tea because it contains quotes full of wisdom and also tastes delicious.

I love travelling so much. It’s my favourite thing to do in life. You learn so much from travelling. You learn from other new cultures and languages. Besides, meeting new friends is also so great while travelling. Travelling makes you have an open mind and I’m always into a great adventure alone, with friends or with family 😍

U – Underwater & universe 🐬🐳✨🌜

I love the underwater world. I don’t know if I will have courage to dive one day but I like snorkeling. I did that in Mallorca some years ago. I was amazed of seeing the beautiful fishes. The underwater world is also scary because of the unknown and there also creepy animals in the ocean. I still love to remind myself of the beautiful animals and corals there are in there and also the ones who still aren’t discovered yet. I also love swimming. It makes you feel so relaxed and calm.

I love astrology and I also love the universe so much. I love the stars, the moon, the sun and all the planets. It’s amazing how we live on this blue planet. It feels like a miracle. I love those Summer nights where I’m watching the stars and just think of how beautiful life is. I love the mistery of it.

V – Vacation 🏖️🏕️🏝️

Who doesn’t love to go on a nice vacation?! I love holidays. I love going away to a place I don’t know anyone & where I have never been. It always make me feel excited. There’s so much to see and do in this world. The world is waiting for you so whenever you get a chance take that vacation and goooo have fun 💕

W – Writing and watermelon ✒️🍉

Writing is one of my biggest passions. That’s why I also began this blog. I love to write about topics I’m passionate about such as lifestyle, mental health, feminism, travelling, books, self care and self love. I also love to share more poetry in the future. I have always been a writer. I wrote in my diaries when I was younger. I still have some journals and I love scrapbooking. I also like to write handwritten letters. I also won some prizes while writing essays or poetry.

Watermelon is my favourite Summer fruit 😍🍉 I eat that so much in Spain during the hot Summer days. It’s so refreshing and so yummy.

X – Xmas & xoxo 🎄😘

Xmas also known as Christmas is my favourite time of the year. I love Christmas because of spending time with your family, eating delicious food and feeling that Christmas spirit.

I love xoxo because I always use it to send texts or here on my blog. It means kisses and hugs. I also love it because it reminds me of my other favourite serie which is Gossip Girl. It’s about a group of friends that live in New York City and involves a lot of drama and gossips “You know you love me. xoxo Gossip girl.”

Y – Yoga girl 🧘‍♀️

My biggest inspiration in life is Yoga Girl also known as Rachel Brathen. She’s a famous Swedish international yoga teacher who lives in Aruba with her husband Dennis and her little girl Lea Luna. I still am going to share a blog post I made about her soon. I love how authentic, vulnerable and honest she’s. I love her postcasts and everything she shares on the internet. I also want to take some yoga lessons again as I only did it twice and loved it. Hopefully one day I can go to a yoga retreat in her studio in Aruba 😍🇦🇼 That would definitely be a dream coming true. I also love that I’m in the Facebook community group. We are never alone. We can all be a Yoga Girl and inspire and help others 💕🙏.

Z – zzz 😴

I love sleeping. Sleeping is also so important for your health. If I don’t sleep enough I can’t function well. I get more anxious and feel bad. Sleeping feels peaceful as it makes you forget your problems for a while.

That was my list from A to Z of my happy and favourite things in life. Of course, there might be more things but I didn’t want to add more. This post is already long haha. I hope you all enjoyed it. Could you relate to my my list? What are your favourite things in life? Let me know in the comments. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

New year goals for 2019 ✨

7 Jan 2019

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

It’s never too late to write some goals down for this new year. Hopefully with writing this post I will stick to them and it will motivate me to reach them. I don’t like that much the new year, new me thing because I still feel the same but it’s just a different year not that much changed hahah 😂 I prefer to stick with goals that I want to achieve this year. I also think that working to achieve goals also gives you confidence and strength. Reaching a goal is awesome but I think the way to reach those goals is also important. In this blog post I will write about my main 10 new year goals for 2019 ✨. My goals are not in any ranking.

1) Cope better with anxiety 🙏

This is for me such an important goal to reach. I don’t know if I ever will be anxiety free but learning how to cope with it is important in order to feel good. If I have to try therapy this year then I will have to do that even though I’m scared. If I have to try other medications for my anxiety disorder then that’s okay too. I also will keep reading good self help books 😊. Hopefully I can also sleep better and have a better sleep schedule. I also want to take some yoga lessons and keep swimming. Moving my body definitely release anxiety and makes me feel more calmer and happier.

2) Face my fears 💪

I really have to face my fears this year rather than running away from it, escaping or hiding myself all the time. It’s my comfortzone to run away from them because I don’t know any other way to live life but it isn’t okay. I have to get my 4 wisdom teeth pulled out but I will do it one by one. Just writing about it already gives me anxiety. I need to do it this year in Spain. I don’t want to keep postponing the appointments until I really get pain and need to go urgently. The dentist here is really nice and understanding. I can do it and everything wil be okay 💪

3) Getting my first job 💰

I’m scared of working because I never worked before. I only did an internship of 5 months here in Valladolid, in Spain last year. It was in The International Relations Office of the University of Valladolid. It was really nice. I did a great job. Working feels for me a big responsibility. I’m afraid to fail or that it will be too much to handle with having anxiety. I also keep applying for jobs but don’t hear anything back. I need to keep going. My dream is to work and live in Spain so I really do hope I can make this dream come true ❤️🇪🇸 Just last week I also applied to one job in Lisbon, Portugal. This week I will get a call back. I have been thinking that maybe it’s time to go outside my comforzone and just go for it. I’m nervous but also excited about it. It’s from a Dutch Website which is called Grenzelooswerk and they help you with everything.

4) Keep reading good books 📚

I’m beginning to read again like I used to do when I was a child. I love it. It makes me feel so happy and calm. I love to read great books and forget the whole world around me. You learn so much about life, the world and just everything from reading 📖. I will keep reading this new year. If anyone has some tips of books that I need to read they are very welcome. I love the books of John Green, poetry books from Rupi Kaur and The Spinster Club series books from Holly Bourne.

5) Writing great content on blog 🖋️

In this new year I want to continue writing more amazing posts for my blog. I want to write book reviews, my own written poems, singing covers and more posts about lifestyle, mental health, feminism, travelling, and self love. These are the most important themes of my blog. I hope you will all like it. I will also maybe look for a new design for my blog even though I find it difficult to make that. I hope that it will work out 🙏

6) Asking for help when I need it 💕

This is also an important goal for me to reach this year. If I struggle with finding a job or with my anxiety I need to know that it’s okay to ask people for help. If I can’t do something on my own it’s okay to admit that you need help. We all need help sometimes in life. I always thought that asking for help would mean that I’m weak and not strong enough. I’m learning that asking for help is a good thing to do and also takes a lot of courage. We are all in this together 💪

7) Go to a surf camp in Spain 🌊🏄‍♀️

I didn’t go surfing for more than two years and I really miss it so much. I went a few times to a Surf Camp in the north of Spain and I loved it. I have to admit that I got scared of the big waves and I didn’t like some surf teachers pushing me through that fear. However, there are many surf camps with great teachers here in Spain who won’t push you that way. I love surfing even though I still can’t surf waves. I’m still a beginner. I had my own wetsuit but it’s too little now to wear 😭 I will buy a new one. Just being in the ocean, having fun and meeting new people is awesome. It’s such a great experience and I can’t wait to do it again this Summer 😍 I love the sea so much but I fear the amount of water and I fear drowning even though I can swim well so this goal is also about facing my fears.

8) Going to amazing concerts 🎶

Music is life 🎵🎼. I’m the happiest girl in the world when I listen to my favourite artists at a concert. I also love to meet them. These memories are for a lifetime. I can’t wait to go to more amazing concerts in Spain or in The Netherlands depends where I’m living. Going to concerts with my friends is one of my favourites things in life. I don’t like to be surrounded by many people so I’m never in the front line but I enjoy listening to live music so much. Without music we would all be so lost. For every mood there’s music to make us feel happy, less alone and inspired ✨

9) Travelling to new places 🌍

Travelling is also one of my favourites things to do in life ✈️. Travelling makes me so happy and so full of life 😍 This world is so beautiful and so magical. I love to discover new places, new countries, new cities and meet amazing people along the way. You learn so much from travelling such as going out of your comfortzone, speaking a foreign language or learning from another culture. I can’t wait to plan some exciting travels this year in 2019. Hopefully, I will also get a well paying job this year to save money for all the trips I want to make with my familiy, friends or alone. Keep on travelling 💕 Travel as much as you can, as far as you can and as long as you can. The world is yours.

10) Surround yourself with good people 💖

It’s so important to be surrounded by good people instead of toxic people. They aren’t worth your time. Investing in good friendships or relationships is the best thing you can do. I’m thankful for my good friends, family and all the friends I met online. They only spread good vibes, love me for who I’m and respect me. That’s my tribe 💕 I can’t wait to meet more amazing people this year. I love to have fun with my friends and also love to have deep talks. When you surround yourself with good people you also feel more inspired and happier in life. Toxic people will only make you feel bad about yourself and will make you feel unhappy. Life is too short for negative vibes ✌️

Thank you all for reading this blog post. Did you like my goals? Can you relate to my new years goals? What are your goals for 2019? 🎉✨ Let me know in the comments. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

December goals 🎄🎁🎉🎅

4 Dec 2018

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

Yeahhhh it’s December, one of my favourite months in the year 🎉. I love holiday season. I just love Sinterklaas, Christmas and New Year’s eve so much. It’s all about love, light and happiness. It feels good to spend it with family and friends, just the ones you love. I really liked to write the post of my November goals so today I will write about my December goals. I would be really happy if I stick to these kind of blog posts every month. It’s fun to do and also keeps me motivated to achieve all of my goals. I achieved almost every goal last month so I’m really proud of myself. The goals for December will be related to Christmas, self care, Spain and more.

  • Finishing writing Christmas cards and sending them or giving them

I already wrote 28 Christmas cards from the 31 Christmas cards which is a lot. Every year I write less because I also love to receive Christmas cards 💌. I’m doing a great job in writing something personal, decorating them with stickers and washi tape. I love stationery stuff so much. I still have to write 3 Christmas cards and then I’m done. I have to send some cards by post and some I can just give to my friends and family. I really love to exchange Christmas cards so much. It makes me really happy to know that someone made an effort to write me something personal and I also love handwritten cards so much.

  • Celebrating Sinterklaas with my family

On the first of December we are going to celebrate Sinterklaas. This is a typical feast in The Netherlands. It’s really fun to give and receive presents. We are going to celebrate it with my two brothers, my niece and their wifes and my parents in the south of Holland: Brabant. It’s like two hours by car. I really love car rides haha adventure time. I’m just going to listen to music and enjoy life. I also can’t wait to receive presents 🎁 haha I’m not that materalistic but I love to get presents that mean something for me and are personal. Maybe I will write a Sinterklaas haul after the celebration.

  • Posting Christmas content on my blog

I want to post a Christmas carol sang by me this Christmas. I also always want to post something special for Christmas, how my Christmas was and let you guys see my Christmas decorations at home. My mother always makes home so beautiful and I love the big Christmas tree. Some friends of mine even said that my home looks like a home in America all decorated hahah 🎄😂. I also always post a special post for New Year.

  • Celebrating Christmas with my family

Every year I celebrate Christmas with my family at home. We are 8 people, my two brothers, niece, their wifes and my parents. It’s really cozy at our home and also with all the Christmas decorations I really feel the Christmas spirit. I also sometimes go to the church at night. I used to sang in that choir. I also sometimes watch “All you need is love” which is a Dutch programme on tv which brings long distance couples and families together for Christmas. It’s so beautiful and emotional to see. I always have to cry a lot. I’m also wearing my special Christmas dress which you will see on my pictures.

  • Packing my suitcase for Spain

I will have to pack my suitcase before the 27th of December to go to Spain. I really can’t wait to go to Spain. I also really wish that before I go I hear back from a job I applied in Spain which is working in El Corte Ingles, a famous Spanish shop. I just want to live in Spain. I can’t wait to see my Spanish friends again. I also really missed the delicious tapas and the sunshine. I can’t stand that the there’s no sunshine these days. In Spain it’s also cold but the sun is there so it makes winter a bit better. I need vitamine D! 🌞

  • Keep applying for jobs

I already said that in my November goals 🍁 blog post that I have to apply for jobs. I did apply for some jobs in Spain. I also applied to work in a famous shop in Spain called El Corte Inglés but I still didn’t heard back. A few days ago at night I was crying because I feel like I really do much effort in writing a cv and motivation letters and I keep hearing nothing back. I don’t know what I have to change in order to get a job. It still makes me anxious and all….

  • Going to the Christmas market in Haarlem with my bff and family

Every year there’s a Christmas market in different cities in The Netherlands. It’s like the Christmas markets you see in Germany. It’s really beautiful. You can buy handmade cards, stationery stuff or products for home. You can buy just so many nice stuff. You can also drink a delicious gluhwein and eat delicious food. I always like to drink soup which keeps me warm. Next weekend is the Christmas market in Haarlem. I’m going with my best friend and also with my family one day. I will take pictures and share them. I also love the Christmas music which they are playing.

  • Beginning to read the book “Your bullsh*t free guide to live with anxiety” from Caroline Foran

I would love to keep reading amazing books as this book. This book will help me with coping with anxiety. I heard it’s a great book so I’m very excited to begin to read it. When I’m finished with this book I will maybe make a book review of it.

  • Having a better sleep schedule

I think this is one of the most important goals which I always seem to not achieve hahah omg 😂. If I would have a job or study I would have a routine. Now I’m sleeping at 4 am and waking up at 1 pm…. xD That’s my life. I really need to sleep earlier and wake up a bit earlier but I seem to not get my life together. Hopefully, I can change this a bit. It’s also important for my health. I know I will never be a morning person but I really do hope to change my sleep routine 💤

  • Use bath bomb of Lush

I need to have a bath in December 🛀 because I only had a bath once since I’m in The Netherlands. I just always shower because it’s faster. In Spain we don’t have a bath so I need to enjoy it and use it more here. My mother bought me in October an amazing bath bomb of Lush which I really need to try. She bought me the Avobath which contains avocado oil and lemongrass. It really smells so well. It really would make me feel so good. Self care is so important 💕. Alaways take time for yourself. You deserve to do things that makes you feel good about yourself.

  • Celebrating New Year’s Eve with my friends in Spain

I always go out on New Year’s eve after eating the 12 grapes at 00.00 which is a typical tradition and Spain. It brings luck haha I need that. Last year I didn’t go out for the first time since years because I just didn’t want to go out 🎉. I think it’s also okay to stay at home. Do what you like. I also don’t drink because of taking antidepressants and I just don’t feel like drinking.

This year I will go and will go the hairdresser to do curls in my hair and maybe buy a new dress for that night. If I get tired or I want to leave before 6 am then it’s okay. I will just enjoy it. I always liked fiestas but lately I feel more anxious surrounded by much people and just don’t like all the parties so much. I feel more at home during a concert because the people are there to just enjoy the music. I don’t like when at a party a boy is touching me without my consent and staring at me. I just feel very uncomfortable then. I love to dance with my friends and have fun 🎶. It’s just the environment that isn’t my place.

These were all my goals for December. I hope you enjoyed reading it. Can you relate to this list? What are your December goals? Let me know in the comments. I hope we will all achieve these goals this month. I wish you all good luck 🍀🤞

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

November goals 🍁

12 Nov 2018

Hey lovelies 💕,

Today I will introduce something new on my blog. Maybe I will do these kinds of blog posts every month. I’m never organised in my life so also not on my blog. My zodiac sign is gemini so I always get easily bored 😂.We will see if I will make this blog post an every month thing haha. I saw many bloggers making these kind of lists so it inspired me to do one too. Today I will write about my November goals and explain them. Hopefully, this will also motivate me to keep going and to achieve them. I have always loved to make lists. It keeps my mind a little bit organised in all the messy thoughts.

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  • Make a lot of amazing blog posts

I have some drafts and also ideas in my head of writing great content for my blog. I just need to get started, write, create and post. I’m planning to do a book review post for the first time of some amazing books I just read. I also am thinking to share some singing covers and plan to share other amazing things for Christmas.

  • Make a wish list for Sinterklaas/Christmas/Three Kings Day

In The Netherlands we celebrate Sinterklaas on the 5th of December. We always celebrate it on the weekend. They say Sinterklaas came from Spain to The Netherlands on a boat to give the children presents. We have some bags of Sinterklaas where we put all the presents inside and then on that day we unwrap the presents. I really love this festive so much. In Spain we have Three Kings Day which is on the 6th of January. They also give presents to the kids. Of course, I also have Santa Claus so yeah three times that I’m getting presents haha yessss 🎁. I always make a wish list of two pages almost  and I use it all year around so also for my birthday. I want to finish it this month and give it to my family so that they know which presents I want.

I made these pictures this week at the shopping mall in Haarlem near to my house. You can see Sinterklaas. They always decorate it for December.

  • Keep applying for jobs

I applied for a job in Spain but unfortunately they aren’t looking for people right now. They said that the will save my CV and get back to me when they have a job for me. I also applied for working for the surf brand O’Neill in Madrid, in Spain but I didn’t got any response back. It will take some time. I also applied for a job here in Holland to work in a surf shop but I also didn’t got any response back. Even though working makes me trigger my anxiety I will keep looking for jobs in Spain. I will just keep applying and search on websites which would help me. Maybe, I could also apply for part time jobs here in Holland for the period before Christmas. I just wish my father won’t push me and leave me alone because it only makes the search of looking for work much worse.

  • Ask for help when I need it

Lately I’ve been feeling very lonely and also struggle much more with my anxiety  because of the anxiety about finding a job. Even though I still take my antidepressants and anti anxiety medication when I need it, I still feel that maybe it isn’t enough. Maybe, I really need to go to therapy to get better. I would prefer to do it in Spain because I also got subscriped for my medication there. I don’t know what to do and I also don’t know if therapy would really help me. Two years ago I had 7 sessions in Holland but it wasn’t real therapy. I had to vomit every time I had to go and it even made my anxiety worse…. I just need to ask for help when I need it. I feel that I’m isolating myself and not asking for what I really need. Even though maybe not everyone will agree with my decicions I need to do what’s good for me and my health.

  • Finish the book The sun and her flowers from Rupi Kaur

I have to finish reading this amazing book this month. This is also going to be one of the books which I’m writing about in my first book review post. I can already say that I love this book so much. I love poetry books. Rupi Kaur is just such an amazing writer 😍

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  • Have a friends reunion in a tapas restaurant in Haarlem

I already saw my best friend twice since I’m back in Holland and my other good friend Shams also twice as she stayed at my home last week. There are still some good friends I didn’t see so I’m planning a great night with my friends on the 24th of November. We are going to eat in the same tapas restaurant where we went last year. The tapas are more expensive than in Spain but are also so delicious. The restaurant is called El Pincho. The service is perfect and it’s really cozy inside. I can’t wait to eat there with my friends and have an amazing night all together.

  • Go to Glow Eindhoven with my mother and see my brother, his wife and my niece

Glow Eindhoven is a light festival which begins on the 10th of November and ends on the 17th of November. Whenever I’m in Holland I always go with my mother. I really love it so much. All these buildings are covered with lights and there are light shows. It’s just really so amazing to see. I hope that I will go this year again in the weekend of 16th November. I also can’t wait to see my brother Edward, Elke and their little girl Noanne. I’m happy to annouce that Edward and Noanne are coming also this Saturday to our home. I’m really looking forward to it. I didn’t see them since the wedding of Rafael and Verónica in Spain which was in August. If I go to the light festival then I will of course take a lot of pictures and maybe share them in a blog post.

These are some pictures from Glow Eindhoven a few years ago. I made the picture on the right. It’s just beautiful to see all the lights and the light show projected on different buildings in Eindhoven such as on the church.

  • Begin with writing Christmas cards

I always send and give a lot of Christmas cards. Some years I made more than 50 and send them all over the world to people which I know. This year I’m writing much less just 29 haha. I already made the list. Last year I also got only 15 cards back so I will only write this year to good friends and to my family. I don’t want to do that much effort to get nothing back you know. I also love to receive Christmas cards. Sometimes I make them myself but now I already bought many Christmas cards. I bought some nice washi tape, a lot of stickers and pens. I will show it to you all soon in a blog post. I want to begin this month already with writing them so that they will arrive on time and that I can be done with it because it takes a lot of work. I really love to make it personal 💌🎄.

  • Meet a new friend from the Yoga Girl Community on Facebook

I made some friends of the Yoga Girl Community on Facebook. One girl is really nice and we are hopefully going to meet up this month. I find it nice to meet people who are openminded, caring and understand me. It’s nice to find new friends to hang out with and have fun with. It’s also lovely that at the same time you can share your fears, struggles and insecurities too.

  • Opening up to people I know

Last weekend I went to my neighbours with my good friend Shams and my parents and I really love them so much. I used to go alone sometimes too to talk with them. I talked a lot with the women because she just understands me so well. She’s also a highly sensitive person and also understands my anxiety disorder and everything. She already said that I’m welcome to come to chat again with her. Maybe, I’m going again this month to open up about my struggles. I’m just anxious always because I feel like I’m going to cry but it’s okay. It’s okay to not be okay.

I also need to go to my choir once on a Friday after my choir is done with choir practice. There’s this lovely man which I have contact with and always is there for me. His daughter from 5 years old has neuroblastoma cancer and is fortunately doing a lot better now but isn’t officially cancer free. I always talked a lot about my life, fears, anxiety and just everything with him. The last time I saw him was during the cremation of Lisa. Then he wrote me a message on Facebook that he would loved to talk more with me. I really have to go once and open up.

Opening up still feels soooo hard for me. You all may think I’m open but yeah on the internet I’m that open person but in real life I have a hard time to open up. Of course, find it a bit easier to open up to people I know than to complete strangers. Also not everyone has to know your story. Just the people you know they will care about you. I think these talks will do me good and also make me feel a bit better. It’s good to know that there are people who care about you and love you.

So, these were all my goals for November. I hope to achieve them all of course 😄. Can you relate to this list? What are your November goals? Let me know in the comments. I wish you all a happy November full of happiness, love and luck. Together we will motivate each other to achieve our November goals 💪.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

My oldest brother got married 🎉👰💑💍💕💃🎶

29 Aug 2018

Hey lovelies 💕,

In this blog post I will tell you all about the wedding of my brother Rafael with his Spanish girlfriend Verónica which was on the 11th of August. The wedding took place in Fuensaldaña. That’s a little village near to Valladolid. It’s just 15 minutes by car. In this post I will tell you all about the wedding, the good and the bad. I also will share some beautiful pictures I’ve made with the mobile of my mother. I still need to wait for the other pictures of Edward and Elke. My other brother has their own company of wedding photography. They make such beautiful pictures. This is their website if you want to look: Azcona Fotografie. I’m going to make another blog post when I have more pictures of them. Maybe, I will do a photo diary of it.

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The night before the wedding (Friday the 10th) Rafael was sleeping in our home with me and my parents. It’s a tradition. Verónica was sleeping at their home with her mother and her brother Jairo. The wedding was in the afternoon Saturday 11th of August. I woke up at 11.00 o’clock and got myself reading to go to the hairdresser which is just 1 min. away from my house. I went to the hairdresser with my mother and my brother Edward was taking pictures of us hahah 😂 Edward and Elke were going to take all the pictures of the wedding. In the meantime, Elke was taking pictures of Verónica in a hairdresser near to her house. It took two hours to get all the curls in my hair. I also got a flower in my hair. My mother took one hour. I never like to be for so long in the hairdresser but I survived lol. Our appointment was at 12.30 and we ended at 2.30. Afterwards, we went home to eat pasta with my parents, Edward and Rafael. Elke was going to eat with the family of Verónica in her home.

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It was a delicious meal. I already painted my nails the day before so I was happy that I didn’t had to do that. After eating I did my make up. I always use make up from Kiko because it’s just one of my favourite brands for make up. I used a pink eyeshadow from another brand and the pink lipstick is from Kiko. Everything had to match with my fuchsia dress 💕. I put on my favourite jewelry: white earrings and the dreamcatcher necklace which I bought in the Primark of Madrid in March. I put on my dress and already felt so warm. It was a hot Summer day with 30 degrees. Edward made pictures of me and he made the most pictures of Rafael when he got ready. He really looked so beautiful.

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My parents got ready too and at 5 o’clock we were ready to leave by car. Rafael was driving his car and we were on our way to the house of Verónica. He was going to see Verónica for the first time in her beautiful wedding dress and then Edward & Elke were going to make pictures of this special moment. First, we went to a florist to put some flowers on his car. Me and my parents stayed in the car when Rafael saw Verónica for the first time in her hall. It was so hoooot inside the car so I was happy when Rafael came back. It was 5.30 and at 6 o’clock the wedding was going to take place. We were on time in Fuensaldaña. The wedding was going to be in the city hall of this village. Rafael opened the door of the car of Verónica. I talked with my Spanish family and friends of them. It was nice to see them all again after such a long time 😍😍😍

I had to enter the room of the city hall with my brother hand in hand. I was nervous for that moment because I hate to be in the middle of attention. It went really well haha despite the moment before that Rafael said that the rings were still in the car. So, a friend of my brother got them and it was all allright. I entered with my brother and then Verónica followed with my niece Noanne, another girl and her brother Jairo. They took pictures of us and the I sat down on the first row. I didn’t wanted to sit in the row in front of me because I find it strange to see the public like I’m not going to marry so I didn’t want all those eyes looking at me. This moment was were some people irritated me and what was a bad moment of the wedding.

After the ceremony a friend of my brother said to me why I didn’t sat next to my parents. I said that I wanted to sit next to Noanne. She kept talking blablabla. I think she founded it strange but fuck off my brother and Verónica already said to me days before the wedding that I could sit where I want. They know I don’t like to get all the attention. Even the mother of Verónica found it strange but I’m not sorry. I do what feels good for me and for my anxiety…. I’m so done of all the time explaining myself why I don’t do a certain thing. I say no more often and do what feels good to me.

The ceremony was really beautiful even though I like a wedding in a church more to be honest because there’s live music and it feels like you are in a movie haha. There were some great songs here but it was not live music. I didn’t sing on this weddding because they didn’t allow that in the city hall. I sang on the wedding of my other brother Edward. This cerenomy was short, just 45 minutes. Victor, the mayor of Fuensaldaña, was the leader of the cerenomy and married them. There were some beautiful speeches: one of my father, one of a friend of Rafael, one of a friend of Verónica, one of a little girl and one of the brother of Verónica. They light some candles, got the rings on, they said: “Yes I do” and then they gave each other a kiss. Edward and Jairo were the witnesses of the wedding and had to sign a paper. There were beautiful petals on the floor. It was simple but really beautiful. Simple is more.

After the ceremony they went to a balcony and all the guests went outside. We took some pictures of that monent. When they came outside we threw them hearts confetti and blew bubbles. It’s also typical to throw rice in Spain. After that moment, Edward and Elke took family pictures with the newlyweds. Then all the guests were just talking with each other outside and the newlyweds were doing a photoshoot by Edward and Elke in the village in the meantime. We had to wait from 7 o’clock till 8.30 to enter the restaurant where we were going to have the delicious dinner. I also took some pictures and one polaroid picture with my mother when everyone went away. At 8.30 we could enter the restaurant and we could have a drink. We sat in the cafe of the restaurant and already got some food: some little delicious tapas. I don’t like the fish so I didn’t eat that haha. I ate some tapas with meat, one with tomato and cheese and an empanada. It was really all so delicious. I also didn’t want to eat so much because dinner was going to be so much food.

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At 9.30 Rafael and Verónica entered the restaurant and we applaused. Then Elke, the wife of Edward came to talk with me and said: “How are you?” and she just wanted to talk and looked in my eyes. I began to cry really hard because I was fed up to appear strong when I felt bad and anxious sometimes. I didn’t want to appear strong when I felt weak. I was fed up of faking that I was happy. I was happy at that special wedding day but also didn’t look forward to all questions about my life…. I told her how I felt lost in life and that I want to live and work in Spain. She said if I want to live with my parents or just be in Spain. I love to be with my parents but I really want to live here forever. My parents are also thinking of maybe selling their home in The Netherlands but it all takes time. It was a great talk and I really loved to talk with her. She’s said that everything will be allright. She’s always so caring and lovely. She really cares about me. Edward my brother saw me crying and Jairo the brother of Verónica too and said awhh you make me cry too. I felt loved and not alone and that was a great feeling. Sometimes it’s so good to let everything out. I felt better aferwards. Sometimes all you need is a good cry.

After that moment, all guests went upstairs to the restaurant and we all had to sit by a certain round table. I was sitting with all people I knew, my parents, Edward, Elke, friends of Rafael and other people. It was really nice. We got three plates and in between we got alcohol. I only tasted a bit of the wine before dinner because I don’t want to drink while taking antidepressants. I also don’t drink alcohol anymore just a few sips hahah 😂 The bread was delicious. The first plate was avocado salad with fish. I didn’t ate the fish😅 After this plate we got a drink which was called sorbete de passión, it was a drink with alcohol and tasted really sweet and well. This drink was to change the flavour in our month. Then we got the big plate which was meat: solomillo with champignons. It was allright but I don’t like to eat so much meat so I didn’t eat everything just enough. I feel full easily. The drink after this plate was champagne but it was really bitter so I only drank a few sips.

I gave all the drank to my mother hahah. During the dinner, Rafael and Verónica came to our table and other tables sometimes to just chat a bit. They were placed in an apart table far away from us. Almost at the end of the dinner I gave the guests a present. The children got sweets and Verónica said I could also get one. It was a pack full of all sweets, chips and delicious stuff. The men got a beer opener in the form of a bike which is typical in The Netherlands. The women got a bookmark in the form of an owl which is the favourite animal of Verónica. She has everything of owls in her home. It was nice to gave these presents to the guests. Afterwards, it was time for the most delicious plate: dessert time. Rafael and Verónica cut the pie. It was a delicious chocolate pie with vanilla ice cream. I really loved it so much. After the dessert we got a chupito which is a shot and I got one of apple without alcohol and tea which was really nice. The dinner began at 10.00 and ended at 00.30.

After dinner we went all to the ballroom which was downstairs to dance all night long. Rafael and Verónica did the first dance which was a salsa dance. My brother takes salsa lessons and can dance very well. Verónica also dances salsa. It was a beautiful dance. After that dance they danced a slow dance. Then all the guests were dancing on Spanish music and I also said to the DJ to put the song “Het is een nacht” on. It’s a dutch song which I like. I also danced like crazy on the song “Lo malo” from Aitana and Ana from the Spanish talentshow Operación Triunfo. I like that so much. Then again the friend of my brother came to me (the same one who said that I had to sit next to my parents in the ceremony) and said why don’t you dance, come on dance with us. I like to dance but I was also tired so leave me alone please. Then, this woman went dancing and left me in peace. I danced till 3 o’clock. Me and my mother were getting tired. Some family of Verónica said don’t go, stay longer. Well, no is no. The party ended for us. A friend of my brother brought us home and I slept at 5 o’clock in the morning. When I got home I had to do my make up away and everything which took a lot of time.

I was supposed to go eating the next day in a hotel near to my house with the family but I didn’t go. I felt anxious and cried that night and was just so tired. I had stomach aches and I said I didn’t go. My father later at home said that I have borderline and I was like no but I didn’t say anything. He didn’t seem to understand that the night before I was happy and dancing at the wedding and on Sunday I felt bad. I know that my feelings are true and I don’t need to give anyone any explanation. If they don’t believe it, they don’t. I don’t have borderline. I think it’s rude to say that as a joke. I just don’t know why people say those things out of the blue. It can hurt someone especially someone who is really going through that. I’m also happy that I didn’t go to that eating the next day after the wedding because my Spanish aunt wasn’t feeling good and felt dizzy. She’s now okay again but all the wedding stuff was so tiring.

Thank you all for reading this loooooong blog post. I hope you all liked it. I just always want to be honest about how I experience something, the good and the bad. Did you like the pictures? Do you also love weddings as much as I do? Do you also feel fed up with giving an explanation to someone? What would you do in such a situation? I would love to know your thoughts. I speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

Singing cover: Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran 🎶💕🎤

19 Aug 2018

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

Thank you all so much for your lovely comments in my last blog post. I’m so happy you all like my blog so much. I’m so happy with the endless support I get from you all. It really means the world to me 😍 I will keep continue creating and writing content. I will also try to write about new things. To celebrate my 1 year of blogging I will share in this blog post my first singing cover. In another blog post in the future I will tell you more about my love for singing and more covers. I even am thinking of making a Youtube channel to share there covers aswell as on my blog but I’m a bit nervous about that. I don’t know if I will do that. I’m not a professional singer. I just love singing so much. I just still feel awkward recording me videos hahah 😂.

I sing all my life. I sang in a choir for 11 years in The Netherlands and really loved it. Singing is really one of my biggest passions. Singing is so calming and music just makes me so happy. Music is life ❤. In this blog post I will share a cover of “Supermarket flowers” by Ed Sheeran. I already shared the cover on my Instagram for my blog. The lyrics is so beautiful. I especially love the sentence: “A heart that’s broke is a heart that’s been loved.”

This is such a beautiful and emotional song and one of my favourites of Ed Sheeran. I’m a fan of Ed Sheeran for so many years and I saw him singing live one day when he came as surprise act at the concert of Passenger. I can’t wait to go to a concert of him alone too. This song is about his grandmother who passed away. This song is for all the people who have lost someone. Your loved one is an angel and will live forever in your heart. I’m here for you all 🙏💕🌸

You can watch my cover here below:

Thank you all for reading. I like to share new things on my blog. Did you like my cover? Would you want that I share more singing covers on my blog/youtube? Let me know 😄 I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love,

xoxo Christina