10 mental health resolutions for this new year

Hey lovely bloggers <3,

Today I wanna share my 10 mental health resolutions for the new year. I think it’s really important to focus on our mental health because body and mind works together. If you have a mental illness like I have been diagnosed with anxiety, it’s really important to have some resolutions to feel better. Our brain is an organ too and many times people forget this. Our brain can misfunction too like any other organ in our body. We have to beat the stigma of mental health illnesses. They are real and nobody should feel ashamed of this. 1 out of 5 people have a mental health illness which is a lot. We shouldn’t feel alone in this. We are all in this together ❤

Screenshot-2018-1-15 Self love is the key in life 💕 ( christinax1993) • Instagram-foto's en -video's1. Read more awesome books

I love reading but I have to admit that I don’t do it a lot. I have bought some new awesome books online. I’m gonna share them with you all when I have finished them. I also wanna do more book reviews on my blog. Reading is so good. It definitely helps me a lot with my anxiety. I have a lot of self help books and it’s makes me realize that I don’t have to feel alone with suffering from anxiety. There are so many people who suffer from this along their lives. I also love to read about tips and apply them in my real life. Reading is really an important form of healing. Reading makes you wiser and makes you dive into a fantasy world which takes away the pain and suffering from the real world. I love to read and always forget the world around me, such an amazing feeling.

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2. Keep writing poems and on my blog

I love writing so much. It’s such a great way of healing too. I always feel such a great satisfaction when I write all my thoughts and feelings down. It feels like I’m letting something of myself go which makes me feel lighter and happier. In this new year, I want to keep writing poems and share them with you. I also wish to continue writing on my blog. I love writing on my blog and it definitely is helping me so much with my anxiety. I came in contact with awesome people who experience the same and feel less alone. Thank you all so much for your lovely support. I’m so blessed to have you all in my life. I will forever cherish the great friendships I have made here ❤

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3. Go to yoga lessons

I love doing yoga at home with Youtube videos but I also really want to go to real yoga lessons in Valladolid, Spain, where I’m living right now. I love Yoga Girl. She is a swedish yoga teacher who is living together with her hushband Dennis and her little girl Lea Luna in Aruba. I will share a blog post about her soon because she is such a big inspiration in my life. She also has her own yoga studio in Aruba called Island Yoga. I would love to go to meet her and go on a yoga retreat in Aruba! That would be so awesome. She does yoga on her retreat week but also sharing and journalling. That’s just so good for healing and for my mental health.

Her real name is Rachel Brathen. She also has her own postcast on Itunes or Spotify every friday where she talks about anything in life, could be about anxiety, self love, marriage, work life, following your dreams, being bullied, death…… just everything in life, the good and the bad. I love how authentic she is. Yoga is really such an amazing way to have less anxiety in life and has so many benefits for your mental health. I did some classes in The Netherlands and afterwards I felt more relaxed and happier. Yoga is the best way to discover your inner self, be in the moment and let everything go. I really wanna search for a good studio here in Valladolid and have some awesome yoga lessons.

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                                   Lea Luna, Yoga Girl (Rachel Brathen) and Dennis

4. Care less about what people think of me

I still find this such a difficult one because I think it has to deal with being bullied during childhood and high school. I still care about what people think of me. If somebody laugh, I instantly think that they laugh about me when it isn’t even the case. I think to not care at all is not a realistic resolution because at the end I will still care a bit. I have to focus on my life and care less about what other people may think about me. If I care less, I become happier and less anxious. It would be such a great benefit for my mental health. I just have to let opinions of other people go and do the things which make me happy. I’m doing better than before but I still have to work a lot on this point in this new year.

5. Keep travelling

I just love travelling soooo much. Sometimes travelling can cause anxiety but when you plan your travels a long way before, it’s not a big deal. I have to admit that flying always cause me anxiety and that I have to take some meds before I go on an airplane. I love the view from the window, but I just hate turbulence. It makes me so anxious. However, I love travelling and it definitely is good for my mental health. In this new year, I will keep continue to travel around Europe and in Spain. I also would love to travel around the world but first I have to have more money. I also would love to do an interrail which means going by train and discovering many new countries in Europe with my friends. Maybe, I’m going to do that in the summer.  When I travel to a new place and discover new things, I let go all of the bad things in life. It helps me to distant myself from problems. I also love to be in contact with new cultures and making friends all over the world. I just love to learn about all the diferences and also know that at the end we are all the same: human and one with the world ❤ I learn so much about life from travelling so I will continue travelling as much, as far and as long as I can ❤

6. Stop comparing myself and my life with other people

This is such a bad habit that I have. When we scroll down on social media, we see all beautiful pictures of people who seem to have their life together. Everything looks perfect but trust me it ain’t the truth. Life has ups and downs. I like to show the truth about my life on my social media, especially on Instagram and on this blog. It is important to show the good and the bad in life. I often compare myself with others. I always feel the pressure of society like I already should have get married, and have babies and have a job and have my life together and blablabla. It makes me feel so overwhelmed. This new year I wanna learn that it’s okay to not have life together and to make little steps forward. I just graduated and I feel the pressure of having that dream job when I don’t even know what that means. I think this year I have to focus on myself and do things I love. I can have part time jobs and be happy. All things take time. I think if we spend less time in comparing our lives to other lives, we will end up happier and relaxer. Just focus on yourself and try to do things you enjoy. Everything in your life will come exactly at the right time, no rush.

7. Spend more time enjoying nature and less time on social media

I have to admit that I spend way too much time on social media. Of course, I run this blog and wanna spend time doing this. However, I should try to detox from social media once in a while. It’s really good to spend more time in nature. I love to walk around the park near to my house and breathing the fresh air. Sometimes I get really overwhelmed from all the social media. Sometimes it makes me anxious because I feel like I don’t have my life together and others have. It ain’t not true because most people only share their perfect pictures of their lives. Like I said in the point before, we compare our lives way too much on social media. If we spend less time on social media, we will feel more in contact with the world and more at peace with ourselves. Spending time with friends in real life is really important to not feel lonely and be social. I love to go for a walk with my friends, eat some delicious food “tapas” in Spain and have fun together.

8. Focus more on my creative passions like writing, singing and photography

Some of my passions are writing like I said before. I love to write in my journal, write poems and write on my blog. Writing is such a beautiful way of healing. I also love to sing so much. I used to sing in choir for 11 years. I really miss singing in a choir. Maybe, I’m gonna search for a new choir here in Spain or have some classes again. I enjoy singing so much. It makes me feel so relaxed and happy. Singing is a great way of letting all your feelings and thoughts go. I will show some videos of me singing in another blog post.

Furthermore, I also love photography. One of my brothers, Edward with his wife Elke have their own company of wedding photography. I learned a lot from them and I also learned a lot of photography taking a course during my studies. I have a lot of different cameras such as a Nikon, normal camera, polaroid Instax Mini 8 and a lomography camera Diana F+. I wanna continue to take all kinds of pictures again and share them with you. I hope you will all like them. Photography is a creative hobby and such a nice way to be active. I love to be creative and it’s really good for my anxiety. All these passions help me healing and make me happy. I once read that people who have anxiety or depression, tend to be more creative than other people. I think this is really true because I met many people with a mental illness and they all are so incredible talented and creative. Being creative is really a blessing in life. Earth without art is just “eh”.

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9. Go to the beach and surf more

When I lived in the Netherlands I was just 15 minutes away by car from the beach. The bad thing is that it rains a lot in The Netherlands and you can’t spend that many days on the beach as in Spain. Right now, I’m living in Valladolid which is one hour from Madrid. The nearest beach is Santander which is a city in the north coast of Spain. It’s three hours away by train. I went to Santander twice last year and enjoyed some really great beach days. I love to swim in the ocean, feel the ocean breeze and hear the waves crashing down the shore. I like the salt ocean so much. It’s so good for your mental health. The ocean makes me feel so relax, peaceful and happy. This year, I wanna spend even more days on the beach. Last year, I went twice to the beach of Santander called “El Sardinero” and once to the beach of Granada, which is in the south of Spain, in Andalucia. I went to “La Rabita”. The beach is just my favourite place on this earth.

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I also like to surf. Í have my own Rip Curl blue wetsuit. I hope I still can wear it because it has been two years since the last time I surfed. I really missed it. I’m a beginner and still have to learn how to catch waves. I can stand on a surf board and can enjoy it, which is the most important thing about surfing. I also made my thesis about the surfing lifestyle. Surfing is just a way of living and it so good for my anxiety. Surfing the waves makes me forget my anxiety, enjoy life and live in the moment ❤ It’s a total zen moment. I have surfed many times in The Netherlands and in Spain. I went twice to a surf camp in Spain near to Santander in Suances called Bio Surf Camp and Art Surf Camp in Galicia, Razo. In Razo, I surfed in the Atlantic Ocean and omg the waves were so high that I got scared and didn’t want to push myself too far and deep in the water. It’s all about practice and learning to let this fear go aswhile as in life. I wish to surf again this year and go on a surf camp because that’s the best way to learn surfing. Besides, I have made some incredible friends in these camps and had so many amazing adventures which I will never ever forget.

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                      Me at the Art Surf Camp in Galicia, Razo in the Summer of  2015

10. Having a better sleep routine

Since, I’m graduated and don’t study anymore my sleep routine is really messed up. I go really late to bed and wake up too late. I know it’s my fault and I have to change it. In the meantime that I’m searching for a (part-time) job, I have to focus on myself and trying to have a better sleep routine. I shouldn’t go too late to bed and wake up at a reasonable time. Having a sleep routine is just so important to feel good and not stressed out. It’s really important for our mental health. Everything begins with those habits. Sleeping is really important. We have to sleep 8 hours at least every night. If I don’t sleep 8 hours at night I’m already feeling so tired and feel even more anxious in life. Sleeping is as important as eating the right food and caring for ourselves. I know I can have a better sleep routine. I just have to get started and then it will work out.

I hope you all liked my 10 mental health resolutions for this new year, 2018. Have an amazing year you all! ❤ I wish you all a new year full of love, happiness and health. Let’s focus this year on ourselves. Love yourself and each other because that’s what this world needs: more love, no hate ❤

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Love you all so much ❤

Much love,
xoxo Christina

 

Happy New Year to you all! 😍🌠🎉💃🎶✌💕

Hey lovely bloggers ❤,

I still needed to post some New Year posts. I was so busy with all the celebrations in December. It is never too late to wish each other a happy new year, right?! I will share in this blog post what I did on New Year’s Eve.

I wish you all a happy new year full of love, health, luck and happiness! 🌠💕❤ I really do hope that all your dreams come true because you all deserve that so much. I’m so grateful for my 131 followers. My blog keeps growing and I’m forever blessed for that. I never knew that anyone would actually read my blog posts. I wish that 2018 will be your year. Make it a 2018 to remember! ❤ Make your dreams come true! 💕 You are all beautiful human beings and I’m forever blessed to have you in my life. Let’s always be together and see what the future will brings us.

It was the first New Year’s Eve for me that I didn’t go out in Spain. It was the first night in 7 years that I didn’t went partying with my friends. Some of my friends went to a party and some not. It’s all okay. Don’t feel the social pressure to go out if you don’t want. Don’t drink too much alcohol just to be cool. Do what feels good for you ❤

I had a delicious dinner at home with my family and I drink some champagne 🍸 In Spain it’s a tradition to eat 12 grapes at midnight. It brings luck. I also enjoyed watching a Spanish programme on Antena 3 which was about singing songs together with my family. It was a cozy night in and I really enjoyed it 💕 I was happy to spend it at home. I enjoyed new year’s eve partying these last years but I also find it so crowdy and so expensive when you don’t drink so much. I enjoy dancing a lot but for me it’s better to go out another weekend 💕 What did you do this New Year’s Eve?

Here are some pictures from my night:


            I bought this dress last year for New Year’s Eve and this year I wore it again 

                       With Jairo, brother of Veronica (Girlfriend of my brother) 

I hope you all enjoyed this blog post. I will write some of my New Year’s resolutions in the next post. I will also share a blog post about the Three Kings which I celebrated last weekend. It’s an important day of celebration in Spain. Enjoy this beautiful new year!! 💕

Love you all so much ❤❤❤

Much love,

xoxo Christina


10 life lessons learned in 2017

Hey lovely bloggers <3,

This post is all about the 10 life lessons learned in 2017. I already wish you all a happy new year! I don’t like the new year, new me thing. I believe that we can change our lives every day and that it doesn’t have to be just with new year. I hope you all are going to enjoy this new year: 2018! I wish you all a 2018 full of happiness, love, good health and inner peace. May this year be the year of self love and make mental health a priority. I hope that all your dreams are coming true in this new year. Never stop dreaming! ❤

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I edited this picture to wish you all a happy new year! ❤

So here are my 10 life lessons that I learned in 2017

1. Ask for help when you need it

This was such an important lesson which I have learned in 2017. I asked for help again when I was struggling a lot with my anxiety in the beginning of 2017. I take 20 mg of antidepressants since february. I’m so happy I got support and the doctor in Spain subscriped me the meds I needed. Since I have been taking antidepressants I feel more happier and less anxious. I still can feel sometimes much anxiety but I’m learning how to live with it. I’m making progress. I’m a warrior. I’m stronger and wiser than before. You should never feel ashamed of asking for help.

I also asked for help during my internship abroad. I was doing my internship abroad at the university of Valladolid. It was my first time working. I never did that before and was afraid. I asked for help when I needed to complete some tasks. They were also so friendly and helpful. I’m really blessed for that. I always thought that asking for help makes you weak but instead it makes you strong. We all need some help in life and you shouldn’t feel ashamed for that. We all need a little help from our friends and family in life ❤

2. Writing heals wounds

I started this blog in August. I never thought I would gain more than 100 followers and have such a great interaction with you all. I love you all so much. I love writing and it’s always have been one of my biggest passions in life. I love to write poetry too. I’m so glad I started this blog. It feels really great to write all my thoughts and feelings down. Sometimes I wrote about some bad experiences I had in life such as being bullied of having my heart broken. Writing is a form of healing. Writing can make you forget the stuff you experienced. When you write about such a bad experience, you are less attached to it and can easily let it all go. Whenever I write aboout something which hurts me, I feel so relieved after I have written that piece. My mind feels lighter again and free off all the thoughts and emotions I had. Writing is such a good way of self love. I also love to journal and wish to continue journalling in 2018.

3. Working life can be full of fun and happiness

I had to do an internship to finish my studies and get my degree of European Studies this year. I did my internship abroad in the international relations office of the University of Valladolid. I worked 5 months, from february till end of june. I must admit that I was so scared of the working life. I was also scared if I would cope with my anxiety. I did such a great job, worked hard and everybody was happy with me. I suffered some anxiety attacks during work and didn’t tell anybody. After a while I told them and they said I had to tell it earlier. They were are so lovely and helpful. I worked from 9 till 3 o’clock in the afternoon. I was in the office of incoming international students. I made a lot of friends. I was helping them with their papers and admissions. I had such a great ambience at work. We laughed a lot and had so much fun. It was defintely one of the best experiences in my life. I felt so happy. I wish to find a career where I’m happy and where work is fun. It’s just so important to have a job where you are happy and aren’t feeling stressed out all the time. I must admit that I was tired a lot because I wasn’t used to the routine. I did it and I’m so proud of my achievement!

4. Having a routine in life is really important for your well-being

I must admit that when I had a routine in my life due to my internship, I felt happier and less anxious. Every day I had to work from 9 o’clock in the morning till 3 o’clock in the afternoon. I went to bed every day at 11 o’clock. Sometimes I went to bed even earlier on days where I felt really tired. I woke up every day at 8 o’clock. It definitely made me feel so good. I must admit that right now I don’t have that routine anymore. My sleep routine was really bad these months but this month I changed it again. Now, it’s better than before. Slowly making progress again. Having a routine in life is just really important for our health, especially our mental health. It isn’t good to stay awake till 5 o’clock at night and wake up late. I felt more stressed because of that routine and less happier. I hope I can change my sleep routine again.

5. Travelling makes you feel more open-minded and connected with the world

I travelled a lot this year through Spain during my internship time abroad and afterwards. I went to Burgos (One hour from Valladolid), Salamanca (Famous of it’s beautiful university), twice to Santander (Beach time!) and to Granada which is in the south of Spain in Andalucia. Some trips I went with my mother and other ones with friends. I love travelling so much. It makes me feel more happier in life because of making new friends all over the world. I made so many friends while doing my internship abroad in Valladolid. I made friends from United Kingdom, Germany, China, Italy, Mexico, Colombia and many other places in the world. Travelling makes you more open-minded. You are open to new cultures. I love to learn more about the differences of the cultures and their languages. It makes life definitely more interesting. I love adventure! It also makes me feel more connected with the world. We are all the same despite our different religions or nationaliaties. We are human. We are all one with the world ❤ I can’t wait to travel more in 2018 through Spain and travel around the world. Every experience makes you richer.

6. Real friends are forever no matter the distance

I have friends all over the world. I grew up in two amazing countries: Spain and The Netherlands. I was living abroad in Valladolid for my internship and right now I hope to find a job in Spain. I went back for Christmas to Netherlands and saw my good friends again. I love the fact that even though you don’t see each other for many months, nothing changed when you see each other again. That’s for me real friendship. Real friends are the ones who will always be there for you no matter the distance. Real friendships are in your heart forever ❤ I love all my friends so much and I’m forever blessed with the beautiful friendships I have. I don’t need to have a million of fake friends, just a few good friends. Friends always make your life better and brighter.

7. Music is life

Since October I’m following the programme on Spanish television of Operacion Triunfo. It’s a Spanish singing contest. Every week a participant has to go home. There were 16 participants. Right now, there are only 9 left in the contest. I love singing so much. I used to sing in a choir for 11 years and travelled a lot through Europe with my choir. Music is so good for you and you health. It makes you feel more connected and happier. Music always have the right words when you can’t explain a situation in only spoken words. Music has the answers of everything. I love Operacion Triunfo so much. I also watch the 24/7 streaming on Youtube which they have.

My favourite participant is Amaia together with Aitana and Alfred. I just bought tickets to see them all live in a concert in Madrid in March 2018!!!! I’m so looking forward to it. I never went to a concert before in Madrid. I’m going with my lovely Spanish friend Maria. The winner will be chosen at the end of January during the last live show. There is also coming a special love show in January to choose the representant for Spain in Eurovision 2018. That’s so excited news. I hope Amaia together with Alfred is going to Eurovision. They performed City of Stars during one liveshow and this moment made history in the Spanish television. You could see so much connection and love between these two young people. They are now together in a relationship which is so cute omggg ❤

8. It’s okay to fail, at least you did your best and tried

After doing my internship abroad, I still had to do an exam which I didn’t do before to complete my studies. This exam was about law and was really complicated. I went to Holland in June and failed for only 0.5. I felt so bad and cried a lot about it. Now, I know that it doesn’t matter if you fail an exam because at least you tried. I went to Holland in August to take this exam again. I got as mark an 8 and I was so happy about it! I learned that failing is okay and doesn’t make you instantly a failure. Making mistakes is okay because you can all learn from it.

9. Don’t give up, because everything will be allright at the end

I struggled a lot this year with my studies. I was so worried and anxious all the time about the fact if I would ever be able to complete my studies and get my degree. I felt a lot of pressure and stress. I had to do some extra subjects because I didn’t obtain all the credits during my exchange semester a few years ago in Spain. I went on exchange to Logroño which is a place in La Rioja famous of it’s delicious wine. I partied and drank a lot during that semester. I was a completly mess. I really regret it now but at least I learned from it and it won’t happen again. I did the extra subjects and got some great marks.

This year, I learned to never give up. You will fall but every time you can stand up again. You will get what you want at the end. At the end, worrying only makes you feel frustrated and anxious. Everything will be allright at the end because I got my degree this year. That was one of my biggest dreams and wishes for this year. I completed this wish because of my hard work and because of never giving up. I trusted myself that I was able to do it because I’m smart enough. I learned to not give in to my insecurities. They are telling me that I can’t do it when it isn’t true.

10. Self love is the most important love in life

I always thought having a soulmate would make me happy and is the most important thing in life. I was wrong. I had a relationship from 17 years old till 19 years old. I suffered a lot with the break up. Afterwards, I was seeking the love of other boys to make my heart heal the wounds. It wasn’t the good way. I don’t kiss anymore boys without having feelings for them. It doens’t make me feel good about myself. I learned that loving yourself is the most important thing you can do in life. Everything starts with yourself. Everything starts with the relationship you have with yourself. If you aren’t happy with yourself, you don’t do things which will make you happy. The thoughts you have about yourself are so important. Let’s change our negative thoughts this new year and replace them with good thoughts. You are enough, you are loved and you are so worth it. I hope you can all practice self love in this new year and take care of yourself! ❤

I hope you all liked my list of important life lessons which I have learned during 2017. I think my next blog post will about dreams and wishes I would like to complete in the new year. I wish you all a beautiful new year with self love, happiness and good health :)<3 Let’s rock this new year!

I love you all so much ❤

Much love xoxo Christina

Merry Christmas to you all! 🎄❤🎅

Hello lovely bloggers 💕,

This blog post will be all about how I spent my Christmas. In the Netherlands we celebrate Christmas eve, the First and Second Day of Christmas.

Sooooo, I will begin with Christmas eve which was on Sunday. For the first time in my life there were 10 persons at the dinner table. My brother Rafael and Veronica (who are going to marry in August in Spain!) came together with the brother of Veronica: Jairo and her mother: Milagros. Jairo and Milagros came to the Netherlands for the first time to spent Christmas all together. My parents were there and myself of course 😂.  Rafael and Veronica live 10 minutes away by car from us. My other brother Edward, his wife Elke and my niece Noanne also came for Christmas eve. They live in the south of Holland in Geldrop, near to Eindhoven, like two hours away from us. I can’t show you pictures of my little niece Noanne because they want privacy so of course I respect that.

I didn’t see Edward, Elke and Noanne for one year. I’m living in Spain and they are busy with work and with their own company of wedding photography. I was soooo excited to see them again 😍❤ I also am so in love with Noanne. She is now two years old and so damn cute. She can already talk a bit and walk of course. She was saying all the time: “I’m going to Spain” haha which is true. She is going to the wedding of Rafael and Veronica in August.

Before dinner we unwrapped the presents 🎁. I got so many nice stuff. I think I’m going to make a blog post about the gifts too. I got polaroid instax mini films, marshmallows, tony chocolony chocolate, gloves, more chocolate hahah, a book about photography, pyjama’s, handmade soaps, instax mini album and a lot of notebooks and pens. I love stationery stuff so much haha I have so much of it. I’m just so addicted to it 😂 I love writing and journalling.

After receiving our gifts, we ate dinner. We had a bit of meat, salad, potatoes and as dessert delicious chocolate and vanille ice cream with fruits. It was all soooooo damn delicious 😍❤ I love the fact that we are never about eating that much, just enough.

Here are some pictures of Christmas eve at home with my lovely family ❤

My brother Edward took this one with a nikon camera. I bought this dress on the internet and always wear it with Christmas 

                                                      With Veronica and Jairo ❤

Jairo and Milagros 

Rafael so happy with his new wallet

My father Harm giving us the presents

                                                      Happy with chocolate ❤😍

More presents 

                                            Christmas eve dinner with the family 😍

                                                                  All together ❤

                                          With the brother of Veronica: Jairo ❤

After dinner, Edward, Elke and Noanne went home. My father stayed at home too. I went together with my mother, Rafael and the family of Veronica to the church. For me, Christmas always begins with that. It makes me feel happy and purposeful. Some years I felt empty because of not going to church. I’m catholic and I believe there must be something to believe in. Everybody has their own way ❤

I felt anxious before going to the church because I was about to see my choir. It always brings up memories with my ex boyfriend, my first love. I went to UK with my choir and I met him in the hostel which we were staying. It’s been 5 years ago since the break up but it still hurts. I saw some people which I know from the church and it was nice. I also get anxious about people asking me questions about my life and stuff. The midnight mass of Christmas was so beautiful and my choir sang so beautiful. I knew all songs by heart and was singing them too 😂🎶

                                                   The church: St. Bavo Haarlem

 

                                                 Hodie Christus Natus est 🎤🎶

 

                                                God rest you merry gentlemen 🎶❤

The mass of Christmas eve began at 22.30 and ended at 00.15. It’s always a long one with Christmas. Afterwards, my parents and I went home and I stayed watching a bit tv with my mother.

On the first Day of Christmas which was Monday, I watched a Dutch movie at home with my parents called Loenatik. I unwrapped some gifts from my father which were chocolate and sweets. My mother got an awesome Rituals set, all for the shower whoehoee I’m gonna use it too 😂  We went for dinner to my brother’s home: Rafael where the family of Veronica also were staying. We were eating all together, 7 persons. In Dutch it’s typical to gourmet as Christmas dinner. This means that you are making your own meat and salad. It’s so nice and delicious. It was all so delicious. We also ate potatoes. As dessert we had vanille ice cream, yoghurt with chocolate, after eight (mint chocolate) and a tea.

           Here are some pictures of monday night eating dinner at my brother’s home ❤

After dinner, my parents and I went home. I saw my favourite Spanish singing contest: Operacion Triunfo. It was the special programme for Christmas. I loved Amaia and Rosa Lopez which sang thank you for the music from Abba. I also cried a lot with the final hymn of Operacion Triunfo. I love them all so much. I’m going to see the 16 participants live in March with my good Spanish friend. The concert will be in Madrid! 🎶❤🎤

Today, it’s the second day of Christmas. I was just chilling at home and enjoying the Christmas tree with it’s beautiful lights. I saw the movie Sisi which I love so much. The Spanish family of Veronica and my brother came to our home to drink a cup of tea together with a piece of pie…. so delicious! 🍰❤😍 I just watched a French movie with my parents which was really so funny. I also saw All you need is love, the Christmas special. It’s a Dutch programme about family members and lovers who are reunited again for Christmas after not seeing them for a long  time. It’s really so emotional and beautiful. I always cry when I watch it. The best way to end Christmas is of course with this blog post.

I had such an amazing Christmas! 🎄😍❤ This was definitely the best Christmas of my life. I always had a sad feeling of Christmas because it reminded me of the break up of my first love. Every year I felt a bit happier. This year it just have been so amazing to see my brother Edward again and being all together ❤ I also love my niece so much. Having a little child in our family makes us feel like a child again. I felt so happy and excited again this Christmas. It has been a long time that I felt this way about Christmas. I also loved that the family of Veronica was here.

I’m so blessed for everything. I’m so blessed to have an amazing family. I wish that you all had an amazing Christmas ❤🎄 If you are going through a grief, bad time or are missing someone, remember I’m here for you all. Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect. Do things you love and spend it with people you love 💕

Merry Christmas beautiful bloggers! 🎄❤💕 I love each of you so much. 

Much love,

xoxo Christina

Christmas decorations in Spain 🎄🎅

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

It’s been two weeks since I wrote my last blog post. I have been busy writing Christmas cards and packing my bags for my trip to The Netherlands. As you know, I’m half Spanish, half Dutch. I have family in the Basque country of Spain and in The Netherlands. Right now, I’m spending less than two weeks in The Netherlands to celebrate Christmas holidays with the family and finally see my best friends.

In today’s blog post I will share pictures of the Christmas decorations in Spain. It’s the most wonderful time of the year! 😍🎄🎅⛄❄️💕🎁 Christmas time is almost here! I really like the decorations so much and the lights. It makes everything so cozy and nice! I especially love the window stickers and the Christmas tree. Spain is a catholic country and it’s typical to put the “belen” from Bethelem in house. You also visit belens in the churches of Spain. When I’m back at the end of next week I’m going to visit them.

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I hope you all liked my Christmas decorations in Spain! 😄 My next blog post will be with Christmas. I’m gonna share in that blog post the Christmas decorations at home in The Netherlands. Do you also decorate your house? How are you going to spend Christmas?

I wish you all already a merry Christmas and a happy new year! May all your wishes come true! ❤ More awesome blog posts will come in the upcoming days!

Love you all ❤

xoxo Christina

Crying is not a sign of weakness 

Hey lovely bloggers 💞,

Today I wanna talk about a subject which I can relate to in so many ways. Today I wanna talk about crying and why crying is not a sign of weakness but a beautiful strength. I really do think crying is such a beautiful emotion. We are born with this emotion. The moment we are born, we cry. It’s a sign of being alive and letting everything out. 

I’m a highly sensitive person. Highly sensitive persons have nervous systems that are more sensitive than others and they process things more deeply. In other words, they feel more and love more. About 20% of the population has this personality trait. I just feel every emotion way more intense than people who aren’t highly sensitive. I love more but I also suffer way more intensly. This can feel sometimes so overwhelming. That’s why crying helps me to release emotions so much. It’s a way of letting all the things which I have been holding on to for so long out of my body. Just let it all go.


However, people can be so mean and judge people when they are crying all the time. I know, I cry so much all the time but I can’t help it. It’s the just the way I’m made. During high school when I got bullied, people used to call me cry baby and being childish. This really hurt me because I can’t change it. Now, I don’t care anymore if people would say that to me because I’m always being my authentic self and crying is part of me. If you don’t like that I’m crying and judge me for being senstive, then I guess we aren’t gonna be friends.

I also dislike people who say girls can only cry and if boys cry it’s weird and blahblahblah. Boys can cry too. Boys are human beings and have emotions too, remember?! They don’t have to feel ashamed when they are crying. They don’t have to be the strong man who never cries. That’s bullshit. Be a real man and cry because you deserve to let it all out. Your feelings are valid and real. You deserve to be treated with respect.

I also can’t stand people who just assume that someone who is crying is just overreacting and is seeking for attention. Hell yeah, I’m crying because someone has died or because I got a bad mark for an exam and you think I’m seeking attention?! Just fuck off man. Well, maybe the one who is crying is holding everything to theirselves and just want someone who cares about them and won’t judge them for once.


Crying isn’t a sign of weakness. Crying is a sign of strength because you have been holding all your feelings to yourself instead of letting them out. Crying release all the pain, struggles and tense you have been feeling for so long. I think crying is one of the best emotions ever. You cry and suddenly you feel so much lighter. It’s just an amazing feeling. Sometimes a good cry can help you to feel better again and have a more clearer view in life.


I also think crying of happiness is such a weird and beautiful thing. I had times in my life where I was so happy that I had to cry like at the wedding of my brother Edward. It was just such an amazing and beautiful moment that I was feeling so emotional and so happy that I had to cry. Do you also had a moment in your life where you cried of happiness? I would love to know it in my comment section.

When I felt really bad anxiety I cried and sometimes it really helped me to feel better again. I had times in life where I woke up crying and went to bed crying and spend the whole day crying. Those were really bad times where crying didn’t help me but made me feel even more miserable. That was because of high anxiety which made me feel so bad and depressed. Fortunately, thanks to taking my antidepressants I don’t have that anymore. I cry less and when I cry it helps me release my emotions and not making me feel worse. I feel better when I have had a good cry because aaaarghhh it just feel so good to let all your emotions out of your body with crying. Tears taste as salt like the sea. They say that salt helps you to release pain and it’s just so true. 


So, if you need to cry, have a good cry ❤ You are not being weak. You are so strong for holding everything to yourself. Break the walls and cry. Let it all go. You deserve to feel lighter and happy again. You don’t have to hold everything to yourself. You are going to be okay again. Every tear which is falling right now will make you a stronger and better person. You don’t have to be okay and strong all the time. Let it all go and find peace in your heart. The universe has your back 💫⭐

And remember, we are all in this together 💞

I love you all 💜💜

xoxo Christina

Poem: You are unbelievable enough 💞

Hey lovely community ❤❤❤,

I think I’m gonna share more poetry which I have made during my life. I love writing poetry. I liked writing poetry since I have been little. It just feels so good to write your thoughts and feeling on paper. I always feel so much lighter after I have written a poem. Just let me know what you think 😄. I hope it will inspire you all and bring some light into this sometimes dark world 💫💞

My personal Instagram is: christinax1993 and my poetry Instagram account is: seaofwordsx. I just leave this here if anybody is interested in it 😄 I share a lot of poems there but I wanna share more on my blog too. 

I made this poem for all my lovely, beautiful and amazing followers 💖 Especially the ones who are struggling right now and feel bad. Look in the mirrow and tell yourself that you are beautiful and enough because you are 💜 Don’t let others or society tells you aren’t. You aren’t the scales on the weight, your mistakes and the pain you have suffered. You are so much more than that. You are a beautiful human being who light up this whole world just because you exists. You are capable of so many awesome things. The universe has your back 💫 

Life wouldn’t be the same without you here. You have a purpose. You will feel okay again even if you feel like your whole world is falling apart. Feelings come and go. You are loved. You are never alone. If you feel lonely, look to the right and there I will be standing next to you, side to side. I may be far away but never apart 💖💖💖 

I love you all so much with all my heart ❤❤❤

xoxo Christina

10 reasons why I love December 😍🎄

Hello lovely bloggers 💕,

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YEAHHHH ASDFGHJKL it’s December and I’m so happy that it’s finally December! It’s my favourite month of the year. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right? I find December so special because it’s all about celebrating Christmas and New Year’s Eve with your loved ones and spread love and happiness in the world. This sometimes dark world needs that so much. Especially during that time we have to give more love to those who need it the most.

I’m gonna share now my 10 reasons why I love December so much! 😀 I hope you all agree and if you wanna add something, just write a comment below 🙂 I would love to hear the things you love about this special month: DECEMBER.

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  1. Christmas lights

I think this is one of my favourite things of December. Everywhere you go you see Christmas lights. It’s getting darker and winter is coming. However, all those lights really light up my life and increase my happiness. I love it so much. I have lights in my room too. It’s just makes everything more cozy. I find it so nice to go shopping, to go to a restaurant or go outside and see all those Christmas lights around me. Christmas lights are everywhere. Gotta love it! ❤

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  1. Christmas songs and movies 

I’m so in love with Christmas movies. I love to watch Christmas movies and drink a hot  chocolate with cream or a cup of tea. My favourite Christmas movie is Love Actually. It’s a beautiful movie and all about Christmas and love. My favourite things in life! ❤ I also love the actors. It’s just such a cute movie. I also like the song “Christmas is all around us” in this movie. It’s just so funny! If you never watched this movie, you definitely should watch it 🙂 I also love the movies Home Alone and The Holiday. What’s your favourite Christmas movie? I would love to know. I also love to hear Christmas songs. They makes me feel so happy. My favourite songs are “All I  want for Christmas is you” – Mariah Carey and “Last Christmas” – Wham! 

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  1. Christmas decorations

I love Christmas and its decorations so much. My mother is really obsessed about it too  haha. We have our home in Spain and in The Netherlands always decorated. I really like to  chill in the living room with the Christmas tree and its lights on. It just creates such a  nice and cozy feeling. Its the perfect ambiance. I also love the Christmas decorations  outside and just anywhere you go. It really increase that Christmas spirit.

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  1. Celebrations with your family and friends

This is an important reason why I love December so much. I love to have celebrations with my family and good friends. I love to celebrate Christmas with my family. This is  just such a beautiful time to spend extra time with your loved ones. I didn’t see some good  friends for almost a half year and one of my brothers a year ago because I live in Spain right now. This is the perfect time to see each other again and spread the love. I always celebrate Christmas in The Netherlands at home with my family. I always celebrate New Year’s Eve in Spain with my family. In Spain it’s a tradition to eat 12 grapes at 12 o’clock on NYE. We watch this tradition on the Spanish television. Afterwards, I always go out and celebrate New Year’s Eve with my good friends here in Spain.c45e97fb688cb6b3c83047cf35e0f60e.jpg

  1. Christmas cards

I love to write Christmas cards. I always write a lot of Christmas cards haha this year I wrote again 45 Christmas cards, which includes my dear family and good friends. I love to get Christmas cards. I love handwritten letters in general so much. It means the world to get them. This year I also draw some Christmas cards on my own. I hang all those Christmas cards in my room. Here’s a picture of some cards I draw and wrote this year.

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  1. Presents

I’m not in favor of luxery gifts such as really expensive gifts because it makes me feel spoiled. I find that Christmas sometimes is only about spending much money on expensive gifts and luxery food. I’m always thinking about the people who don’t have that much to spend or children in war. I prefer small gifts and things I really need. Maybe, I’m gonna make a blog post about the gifts I will get this Christmas. I really love to get presents but just little things and cheap things. They makes me so happy! 🙂 Some gift wishes for me this year are a calendar for my room from New York City and a cinema light box. I really want a cinema light box since so long. It will look amazing in my room here in Spain. It’s a box with letters and lights. I also want a bucketlist calendar for my room which looks really cool with quotes and everyday there will be an awesome thing that you can do. I’m so excited for the presents which I will get this year under the Christmas tree!

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  1. Food/drinks

I love the food and drinks in December. I don’t love to eat so much that I get nauseous. I just love to eat little things and enough. In Spain, many people eat way tooo much omg like I don’t know how they will not throw up ugghh xD. I don’t like too much, just enough is good for me 🙂 I love the cookies, sweets and chocolate. My favourite drinks during the cold months is definitely tea and hot chocolate. I love the brand name yogi tea where you can find a quote full of happiness and wisdom ❤ I also love a hot choolate so much. I make them at home with cream and marshmallows mmm ❤ This is my favourite cup of hot chocolate with xoxo. That reminds me of one of my favourite series Gossip Girl haha.

Here’s a picture of a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows which I made a few days ago in my favourite cup xoxo.

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I also love to have my favourite Christmas blanket and advent calendar! I got this calendar from my mommy. It’s always a tradition for me to eat a chocolate every day until Christmas. Every day it’s a different form and has something to do with Christmas 🎄🎅 December begins for me with the advent calendar! I love it haha. It really makes me feel like a child again, so happy and excited 😍😂 . What’s your favourite Christmas tradition? 💭

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  1. Christmas spirit

I think I never mentioned this on my blog before but I’m catholic. Many people forget that  Christmas is celebrating the birth of Jesus. I used to sing in a choir for 11 years. I always had to sing on Christmas eve and at night. It was really so beautiful to sing all those wonderful Christmas carols. I believe in god and I believe that there’s something more. Sometimes I find it hard to believe because there is so much cruelty and war in this world. There are still good people out there even though it sometimes is a dark world. For me, the Christmas spirit isn’t getting the most luxery gifts or eat so much that you will explode. The Christmas spirit is all about giving love to your loved ones and be there for all the people in need.

5 years ago my first love broke up with me and I felt horrible. I felt so sad. I still get sad sometimes with Christmas because it reminds me of that time. I’m forever blessed to have an amazing family and good friends who are always there for me to cheer me up and make me happy. There are many people who feel lonely and sad with Christmas. There are many people suffering with a mental illness, like myself with anxiety, or any other illness or even commit suicide around this time. I would like to think of that people and be there for somebody in need. I always think of the refugees and people who are suffering during a war too. This makes me realise how grateful I have to be for all the things I have in my life. It’s a time of reflection and giving thanks to all the things you have in your life while others don’t have that. We should never take that for granted.

“Serious Request is a family of annual multiday, multimedia fundraising events for International Red Cross initiatives, typically hosted by radio stations in the week before Christmas. During the Dutch 3FM Serious Request, three popular Radio DJs are locked up for six days in a small temporary radio studio (the “Glass House”), placed in a main square in a different city each year. Living on a juice-only fast, the DJs make a interactive, themed broadcast around the clock, while regular programming on the station is suspended. Funds are raised in a few different ways. While the DJs are in residence, they play songs requested by listeners and visitors, in return for their donations. Straightforward donations are made into the project’s bankaccount, and by physical vistors depositing cash and cheques into the house’s letterbox.”

I love this event in The Netherlands so much. Every year it’s a different project. I always ask for a song and donate money. I find it important to donate money to a charity especially around Christmas because I know there are a lot of people who need help and support. I hope you all think of something and help those people in need. They need your support and love! ❤

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  1. Snow

I’m always celebrating Christmas in The Netherlands. It doesn’t snow in the winters months like years before. I don’t like the cold but I love the snow haha pretty strange xD I love a snow landscape so much. I used to take a lot of pictures because it looks just so wonderful and beautiful and omg I’m in just so in love with winter wonderland. The best Christmas feeling is waking up on Christmas day with snow! The best Christmas feeling is a white Christmas! ❤ I really hope that this Christmas it will snow again in The Netherlands. Let’s pray for the best hahah! Who else love snow on Christmas day?

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  1. Lettings things go and new beginnings

I’m also one of those people who make a list of resolutions for the new year and then doesn’t accomplish almost half of it hahah xD. Who else does this? I think every day is a new day to accomplish things and do the things you love. However, the ending of the year always reminds me of letting go all the bad things that happened this year and think of all the things I have learned. I think I’m going to make a blog post about this one too. This one would be about some resolutions for the new year and things I ‘ve learned this year.

A new year is coming and we have to keep everything we have learned this year. It’s all wisdom. I don’t like that sentence of New Year, New Me. I still feel the same when it’s January the first hahah. Every year I learn new things and experience new things in life which makes me grow. That’s what I believe. We can change our life every day and it doesn’t have to be just with this new year arriving. A  year has ended and we are ready for all the new experiences. It’s a time of letting all the bad things go and for new beginnings. I really like that. It makes me happy to let all the bad things go and let all the love for new beginnings and happiness fill my heart <3.

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I hope you all liked reading this blog post. I found it very nice to write this one. Be prepared for more amazing Christmas/New Year related blog posts. I will already say to all of you: Have an amazing holiday season with your loved ones! ❤

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Love you all so much ❤ ❤ ❤

Xoxo Christina

It’s okay to take antidepressants or other meds for your mental illness

Hey lovely bloggers <3,

I’ve always wanted to make a blog post about it. I felt a bit scared to share of all this but since I’m always honest on my blog and you all are so supportive I know it feels good to share it. It’s really an important subject to me. I think many people with a mental illness can relate to this aswell. I have anxiety for like my whole life. I started to take antidepressants in February 20 mg of Lantanon. I also take a benzo when I feel really high anxiety. First, I felt really ashamed of it because I already felt ashamed of having a mental illness: anxiety and taking a medicine to recover made me even feel more weak and guilty of feeling this way. I thought that it’s all my fault and I thought that I have to help myself. It’s really crazy to think that it’s wrong to take a medicine when you have a mental illness?

When we have a physical illness such as fever or a cold it’s so normal for all of us to take paracetamol, ibuprofen or antibiotics. We even don’t think about it. We don’t find it a big issue. You are physically ill and you have to take a medicine to recover, like that’s so common. Nobody looks strange at you when you are having a cold and take a paracetamol. Also when I have my period I take Aleve Feminax which is a Naproxen that helps to relieve the cramps. It’s just all so normal. You go to the doctor and they give you the meds you need.

But then….. You can also have a mental illness like depression, eating disorder, ocd, anxiety…. You can recover with therapy but some people also need to take a medicine to recover. I did some therapy sessions in The Netherlands and it didn’t help for me. I even felt more anxious than ever before. You have to search the thing that works for you. Only you knows what’s the best thing for you to be able to recover. So, some people need to take meds such as antidepressants or anti anxiety meds to be able to function. There is a stigma surrounded with mental illnesses and with meds even more. You can’t get it so easy as when you have a cold. They even warn you for all the side effects and I read that when you stop taking it you will feel so bad. These meds are soooo important. They are saving lives and help people to cope with their mental illness. Why is their even a stigma about it? This really need to change.

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I will admit that I was afraid to take antidepressants too. I read some stories about the side effects and I felt really scared. I tried naturall stuff like tea, valerian and St. Jans Wort and it all didn’t work. I just can’t stand when people are like yeah you just should try natural things and everything will be allright again. I tried that and it didn’t work. I also don’t like when people say like yeah just sleep more, do sports and you will feel better. Sometimes you can’t sleep good because of anxiety or don’t wanna move. That’s what depression and anxiety is about. You just feel tired all the time and don’t wanna do anything and in some cases people have suicide thoughts which makes it even harder to cope with life. I also can’t stand the people who say it’s all about seeking attention when somebody suffering with depression for example say that they wanna die. They feel so bad and have horrible thoughts and they are all suffering in silence. It’s so hard for them to open up. When they finally open up to a  loved one, they say it’s seeking attention or not true. I think that’s really the worst thing you can say to someone mentally ill. If you can’t be kind, then don’t say anything at all. Be there for that person. Let them know you will support them and help them in seeking professional help. That’s just so important.

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Sometimes you need help and take meds for your brain. The brain is an organ too. This organ can also misfuction just like any other organ. I was scared as hell when I began to take antidepressants since february 20mg and a benzo when I feel high anxiety. I even read the description and it said some people will have suicide thoughts and you can call this number when you feel that way. Fortunately, I didn’t had that. 
I think there are a lot of horror stories which even aren’t true. They just don’t want that we take it. I mean antibiotics also can cause danger and nobody said anything about that. My father had high cholesterol and got a medicine. This medicine caused him pancreatis. He almost died because of it….. I was 11 years old. In the subscription of the medicine to lower his high colestrol there was even written that it would cause this infection…. You see, you can’t trust these meds too. Every thing has sife effects and stuff but it’s important to know that in many cases nothing badly will happen. It’s also important to seek help by a qualified doctor. To anybody suffering of a mental illness, don’t be afraid to seek for help and take meds for it. If it makes you feel better, then do it.

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I hope this blog post helped the people who are suffering with a mental illness. I believe that if you need to take meds for your mental illness, then you should take it. It saved my life. I cry less and my anxiety is much better than before. Ask for help and take what you need. I know that the more we talk about it and raise awareness, the more people will share about their mental illness an seek help. Recovery is possible and we have the right to speak about our struggles. We don’t have to feel ashamed of anything.

We are all in this together! ❤ You are a warrior! 💪💜💕 Together we are stronger and together we can beat the stigma of mental illnesses!

I love you all <3,

xoxo Christina

 

My brother is getting married! 💑💍👰😍💞

Hey lovely bloggers 💞,

I have some exciting news to share omggg. My oldest brother Rafael (39 years old) is getting married next year in August with his beautiful Spanish girlfriend called Veronica. They know each other because of me hahah. I matched them together. The wedding will be in Spain which is sooooo amazing! 🎉😍💕🌈👰💑💍 

Spanish weddings are really different than the weddings I went in The Netherlands. There are much bigger and more people come. There will be 80 people. In Spain people are catholic and many people marry in a church. Afterwards, all the people who are invited are going to eat together and dance 💃🎶🎤.

My other brother called Edward married a few years ago with Elke when I was in Spain doing my exchange semester. I came back to The Netherlands for the wedding. It was so beautiful and emotional, damn. I cried my eyes out. I even sang at the wedding. I was so anxious but I did it well. I sang the first couplet of When I came down to the river to pray and afterwards we sang all together with a few people. Two years ago Elke got pregnant so I’m a happy aunt! My little niece Noanne is two years old now. I can’t wait to see them again. I didn’t see them now for one year because I was doing my internship in Spain and am living in Spain now. I’m going back to the Netherlands to spend Christmas time with my whole family. I really can’t wait, happy vibes! 🎄💞😍 

Rafael, me, Edward at the wedding of Edward and Elke

Edward, Elke and Noanne live in Geldrop, in the south of The Netherlands near to Eindhoven. Rafael and Veronica went this weekend to visit them. Rafael proposed during a love photoshoot Veronica and gave her the ring. Edward and Elke are wedding photographers and they take beautiful pictures. You can see their website which is called Azcona fotografie. Rafael booked the hotel NH in Eindhoven to spend this weekend there with Veronica after proposing her.

Asdfghjkl I’m so excited for their wedding next year!!!! 👰💑💖 My lovely niece Noanne will also come. She will be three years old by then. I just love weddings so much. It’s just so beautiful to be there on their special day with all the people you love. They are going to marry not in the church but in the beautiful castle of Fuensaldaña, a village near to Valladolid. Valladolid is the place where I’m living and where my mother was born. The castle is sooo beautiful. The ceremony will be there and then afterwards we will eat all together in a restaurant with delicious Spanish food. I hope I will sing again at their wedding, who knows 🎶💃

At the castle of Fuensaldaña with me, my mother, mother of Veronica, Rafael and Veronica

The beautiful castle in Fuensaldaña💞

It’s going to be such a wonderful day. I can’t wait to buy a beautiful dress and go to the hairdresser and all stuff hahaha 😂👗For the wedding of my brother Edward I got a beautiful purple dress from a friend. This time I would love to buy a dress but not too expensive. There are so many shops in Valladolid and I still have plenty of time to look for a beautiful one so no stress hahaha 😂.

I wish my brother and his girlfriend a life full of happiness, love and luck! 🍀 May all your dreams come true. I wish you many more years 💖🌈✌

Much love to you all 💞,

xoxo Christina