Sea of words

December 2019 favourites 🎄✨🎉💞

24 Jan 2020

Hey lovelies 💕,

This blog post is maybe a bit too late lol but that doesn’t matter, right? 😂 I’m always too late for everything in life. I’m better from my wisdom teeth extraction which was two weeks ago. I still sometimes felt strange things in my mouth but I have to stop obsessing otherwise I get even more anxious about it. I’m in Holland again. The next time I’m in Spain I will get rid of another wisdom teeth 🦷 until I have no teeth left haha no just kidding. I have to do it three times more. I can do it. Hopefully I will have less anxiety for the next times. I trust this dentist so all will be well 💖🙏. Now, I have a cold too but I guess it’s that time of the year. I hope you all had an amazing Christmas and I hope this new year begin well for you all. In this blog post I will share my favourites of December which are celebrating Christmas with my family, going to the Christmas market, getting nice presents, winning some things and so much more.

Things I did with my lovely family 👪:

Celebrating Sinterklaas with the family 🎉🎁

I celebrated the Dutch feast Sinterklaas the 6th of December. It was a nice celebration and I got loads of amazing presents. I wrote a Sinterklaas haul post which can find here. I loved the yoga mat, Flow magazines and the loads of chocolate I got 😍. I still have chocolate at home from this celebration hahaha 😂. Does anyone of you wants some chocolate? 🍫 It’s still good until March or April. I always love to celebrate Sinterklaas with the family. It’s such a nice tradition.

My parents 43th wedding anniversary 💒🌹💞💏

My parents had their 43th wedding anniversary the 23th of December. We didn’t do anything special besides that they went to church and I stayed home. I was already going to church on Christmas Eve. When they had their 40th anniversary we ate all together but maybe with the 45th anniversary we will do something with the family. It’s a special day which remind me that true love exists. I love my parents so much and I wish them many more years together full of health, love and happiness 💞.

Watching some Christmas movies with mama 🎅🎬

I love to watch Christmas movies. I’m sad this Christmas we didn’t watch Love Actually. We were busy packing for Spain too so at the end we didn’t watch it. Maybe, I will watch it now haha that movie is my fav movie ever. We watched Elf, The Polar Express and The Holiday. I love The Holiday so much. It’s also one of my favourite movies. I wish my life could be like that too and I could meet the love of my life that way haha. That English cottage is just so cute. I love all the actresses and actors. So beautiful. I also loved the movie Elf as I had never watched it before. It’s really cute! The Polar Express is also a classic. I think I’ve read the book when I was younger too.

Christmas time with the family 🎄

We had an amazing Christmas with the family. I went to church ⛪ on Christmas Eve with my mother, brother and his wife. It was lovely. We went to their appartment on Christmas day and just relaxed. We ate dinner all together on boxing day. It’s always so nice when we are all together especially when my little niece who’s 4 year old comes. It’s play time haha! 😂 We had a delicious meal of some meat, stewed pears which my mother made and delicious fruit and ice cream 🍨. My daddy always love to put whipped cream into the mouth of my niece haha she loves it very much. Spending time with family is one of the most important things in life. You never know when will be the last time you seen them, so do it and love them very much. I don’t want to sound depressing but it’s the truth. Nothing is forever so we have to not take these things for granted 🙏💖.

New Year’s Eve in Spain 🎉✨🎆

My mother and I celebrated New Year’s Eve in Spain with the family of Verónica. We had a nice time with the brother and her mother. We ate some delicious meat like chorizo, jamón serrano. There was also bread and different sauces like avocado and cheese sauce. We also drank some champagne which I don’t like that much. I loved the Spanish cookies more. Afterwards, me and the brother of Verónica played Mario Kart Deluxe and Super Mario with the Nintendo Switch 🎮. I really loved it so much and I got nostalgic from the times I played it when I was little. Those were one of my favourites games. My favourite game ever was Super Mario 64 with the different worlds and rooms. Such an awesome game. Also The Sims is amazing.

Stationery shopping 🛒

I went stationery shopping with my mother earlier in December. Action is my favourite shop in Holland. It’s cheap and has so many nice stationery. I bought some foam stickers. I love those stickers because they are bold and have an amazing design. The design is made for a hippie girl like me with lovely feathers, dreamcatchers, beautiful colours and quotes. I also love the sticker sheets I bought which contains 28 sheets full of stickers with a mermaid design 🌊🧜‍♀️. It’s so beautiful. Anything with a sea theme is always made for me. You could also use these stickers for bullet journals. For the rest I also bought some nice rhinestones. They look like pearls. I also love the gluemarkers which I bought but I still didn’t have use them. I hope it works. You could put some glue on a paper, then add glitter and it would be amazing to decorate cards for my pen pals with it.

Awesome things I did with my lovely friends 💞:

Christmas market in Haarlem 🎄

I went to the Christmas market in Haarlem with my best friend and her girlfriend. We had such a good time. I always love to go because these Christmas markets are really special in The Netherlands and in Germany too. I love to drink hot chocolate or gluhwein ☕. This time I didn’t drink anything. I only bought something to make hot chocolate with. We made some nice pictures with the Christmas tree and enjoyed the beautiful lights ✨. All the things which are sold on this market are handmade which I love so much.

Winning the book (Un)limited by the mind by A.O.Ewen 🥇📖

My lovely friend Andrew from Instagram always write such beautiful poetry. He wrote a book and I took part of the giveaway. I never win something from Instagram so this was really a big surprise. I was so happy to have won this book because it’s beautiful 😍. I still have to finish it reading. I already read some poems and I loved it. I love his honesty and vulnerability. It’s a collection of his poetry about experiences with mental health. He suffers from anxiety and ocd. I can relate so much to his poems and feel less alone when I read it. It’s good that he wrote about the light and the darkness because that makes me feel hopeful that things always can change for the better. I wish also to write a book one day because it’s one of my dreams. Thank you Andrew for your Christmas card too and for our friendship. I also love what you wrote in the inside for me. I love you very much. I will always support you! 💖🙏

Receiving Christmas cards and presents from my lovely friends 🎄🎁

I’m so happy with all the Christmas cards I got from my friends online and in real life. I love my blogging friends, my pen pals and family so much. I love to receive handwritten letters and Christmas cards so much. I also loved the Christmas presents I got from my pen pal Vikki which was a unicorn garden suncatcher and some cute key rings. I also loved the presents I got from Sophia so much. I loved the handmade jewelry, the nail polish 💅 (I used it for Christmas time yeahhh) and the turqoise wallet is beautiful. Also a big thanks to my lovely blogging friend Elsie for her beautiful presents. I loved the golden journal! I can use that to write some blogging ideas inside. I also love the cute pen and sweets. I’m so thankful for your friendship. Love you all! 💞

Other amazing things of this month 💖:

Winner of The Goddess Collective Scholarship 🏆

This year I joined again the Self Love Advent Challenge by Melissa Wells. She’s a bestselling Hay House Author, Worldwide Speaker, and the UK’s leading Eating Psychology Coach and Self Love Expert, dedicated to helping you completely transform the relationship you have with yourself, your body and your food. I really like her community and her challenges so much. Every day until Christmas I posted something on Instagram and on her Facebook group for this challenge. One day it was about treating ourselves, another day it was doing self care and more. I’m happy to announce that for the first time I won something from participating in this challenge. OMGGGG asdfghjkl I won an amazing prize 🏆. I won The Goddess Collective Scholarschip which is such a big prize. It has the value of more than €550 for a year. This was definitely the best Christmas present ever 🎄🎁.

I’m so happy to form part of this beautiful community with all amazing goddesses ✨💗 I will learn so much about goal and intention setting. There are also workshops about creativity, managing anxiety, female friendships, menstrual magic, finding your purpose, starting a business and so much more. There will also be moonology 🌜🌛 readings and a book area 📖. This is just everything what I need right now in my life. It will help me so much with everything. I really can’t wait to get started and really begin to improve my life, dive into the magic of the universe and follow my dreams. I also hope to meet all other goddesses and go on a retreat one day. I’m so blessed to have this opportunity. Thank you Melissa for being such an inspiration to do so much good in this world. Thank you for this beautiful community. We are all loved and not alone 💗🙏 Love you all! 😘

New books 📚

I bought two new books which are Looking for Alaska by John Green and The Places I’ve cried in public by Holly Bourne. I’ve heard always so many good reviews about Looking for Alaska so I’m happy to finally been reading this book. John green is an amazing writer. My other favourite writer is Holly Bourne and I couldn’t wait to buy her new book. I still have to read so many books of her. This book is about Amelie who loved Reese. And she thought he loved her. But she’s starting to realise love isn’t supposed to hurt like this. So now she’s retracing their story and untangling what happened by revisiting all the places he made her cry. Maybe she can get over him if that way. I think it will be an interesting and heartbreaking story. I can’t wait to read it!

Enjoying a relaxing bath with Lush bath bomb 🛀

I enjoyed a nice bath with an awesome Lush bath bomb. It was called Goddess which reminds me of the song God is a woman from Ariana Grande. The bath bomb is heavenly scent, jasmine absolute seduces you into lilac and silver waters, while the darkness of oudh and the richness of sandalwood keep you there, lingering a little longer. Lila is my favourite colour and I love glitter so it was just a perfect bath time ✨💖.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all enjoyed reading about my favourites of December 2019. Byebye 2019 haha. What were your favourites from my post? Did you have a nice Christmas time with your family? Have you read any of the books I bought? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

I faced my fear of going to the dentist for my wisdom teeth removal 💪🦷

15 Jan 2020

Hola lovelies 💞,

This blog post is going to be so important for me because I have had this fear for three years almost and kept postponing it. This blog post is about my wisdom teeth removal which happened today 🦷. While my mother is sleeping and I’m resting in bad I’m writing this blog post. I’m also crying because I feel so relieved. I’m so proud of myself.

So today I faced one of my biggest fears in life which is going to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth out 🦷. One of them is out now. Still three to go but at least this is done. Gotta love Spanish dentists who understand my anxiety and who are just so lovely. Also never mind my face is big because of the anesthesia. You can see that on the picture below. I basically had no choice to go today because I don’t want anyone forcing me in Holland. It’s more expensive there and they also do it in the hospital. I find hospitals even more scary 😢. It reminds me when my dad was there and almost died.

I got a trauma from going to the dentist for a root canal treatment in The Netherlands because I got called childish and 15 years old. That resulted in me having a panic attack. That’s not a good way to treat your patients. I know they are not all like that but that experience just made me soooo anxious. There are good and bad dentists and doctors everywhere. You just have to find the right one. Finding one you can trust is so important 💖🤞 It really makes you more calm which is exactly what I need. That’s the most important thing.

I was so anxious the past days. I couldn’t sleep well last night and kept feeling anxious and nauseous. Today I woke up crying and really didn’t want to go but I know I had to. It’s bad when a fear is keeping you from living your life for so long. It’s been three years and it’s a miracle that I didn’t have any infections just yet. My mother said today that they changed the appointment to 4 o’clock in the afternoon instead of 7 o’clock in the afternoon. In fact it was much better because I always wake up so late so it would make me have less time worrying, crying and being anxious. I almost didn’t eat because I didn’t want to vomit because of anxiety. I drank water, some cookies and that’s it. I also took half of Valium 💊.

I’m SO happy I went here in Spain. They are understanding and know how to deal with people who have anxiety. I took anti anxiety meds before. When I arrived at the clinic today they gave me a tila which is a Spanish tea to calm you down 🍵. I was like wow what a service thank you so much. Then they said the dentist wasn’t still there haha he was eating, lol typical Spanish times 😂 Then it was time for me to do it. I almost didn’t felt the anesthesia. I remember from Holland that I felt it. They also give me something to squeeze haha a little shark 🦈 . They calmed me down with some breathing exercises like breathing slowly. This definitely helps so much. I tasted something like pepermint which was nice. I closed my eyes too which was better they said. It was the dentist and a woman who helped him. They were both so friendly.

Then they said I would feel like a bee 🐝 was pricking me but I almost felt nothing. That was done and then the dentist took the teeth away. My head was going left lol so I had to change my position and said sorry they were like no it’s okay. I’m always so used to say sorry for everything. I didn’t feel anything only that it took some strength to get that fucking wisdom teeth gone 😂 That teeth was being mean haha but at the end the dentist won yeahhhh 💪🤣 Lucky man 🍀 I saw it and he told me if I want to bring it home lol I said no way. Some people want to save it.

I didn’t even noticed the anesthesia at all. It was so smoothly all. In less than 15 minutes it was all down. I didn’t want that 🦷 teeth so they threw it away 🤣. I told them I love them very much and they said the same to me 😍😭. They said I was being really brave. Those words meant so much I could cry there. The dentist is also very handsome haha. That’s just a big plus 💖. I’m not falling in love or am I lol cray cray 😂. I would love to meet one day someone who would love me the way my dentist treated me today. I just want people in my life who treat me with kindness, compassion and understanding. I don’t ask for much more.

I have to go again next week to know if everything is okay and to know that I have no infections. I know it isn’t fun going to the dentist but maybe this experience will somehow also make me overcome this fear of the dentist. I feel like this is a learning like Yoga Girl would say. This is much more than just a wisdom teeth removal. This experience made me believe again in the good in people. I think in some way the universe is giving me all these experiences with good people to cover up all the bad experiences in the past like being bullied and having a broken heart.

Now, I got prescribed antibiotics, ibuprofen for pain and another medicine for darmflora because antibiotics can also have some side effects. I hope I won’t have too much pain and these meds will help 🙏. I’m not a person who takes a lot of antibiotics. In The Netherlands they would not give you antibiotics. I also thought it’s strange to take that before I have an infection but it’s better. The health care system in Spain is really good and I love their professionality. I also love that it feels like you are talking with a friend lol 😂💖 I wouldn’t say in Holland that I love them so much. There you give the doctors a hand. Here my mother gave him two kisses wishing them happy new year 😂🎉. I think that also helps to decrease anxiety. I don’t like people being so serious. Life is already hard enough. We need more fun and laughs.

I don’t have to spit for a day and the meds I should take

Maybe this isn’t a big deal for some people but for me it is. I want to be real about my struggles in life online and in real life. I have been with this fear for so many years that I really feel a weight is off my shoulders. I know I’m not done with it but at least one 🦷 is out byebye. I still have to get rid of three. Little by little they will be gone. This definitely increased my confidence. I’m so proud of myself. Anxiety didn’t win today. I won today 💪 I called my daddy and he was really happy I went. I know my family wants best for us. He doesn’t want that I have an infection. Everything is well. I know my anxiety tells me so many stuff which isn’t true. At the end, this fear was worse than the thing itself. It’s always the same but that’s anxiety. I thought even that I was going to die or have a panic attack but nothing happened.

I’m thankful that there exists people who are human, understanding and have compassion because that’s really what this world needs 🌍. We need more kind people. Kindness is never a weakness but a strength. I’m not afraid anymore to show my sensitivity because it’s makes me human. I know that there always will be good people 💖💖

I’m also so thankful for all the people who have always been there for me, my good friends, my family, all the people I met online like my lovely bloggers, pen pals, people from The Yoga Girl Community and The Goddess community. I couldn’t have done this without all of you. Thank you for your endless support. We can achieve anything we want with the help of others. We are never alone 💖 I’m so blessed to have you all in my life. We are all in this together 💪

Thank you all for reading this blog post. Do you also have a fear which you keep postponing? Do you also had to get rid of a wisdom teeth? What do think of my story? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all soon in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

Spotify Wrapped 2019 🎶

8 Jan 2020

Hey lovelies 💕,

I love to read other music reviews of 2019 and I also loved to see mine. I’m excited to share it with you all. Music is life. We can know a person’s personality through their music style. I love Taylor Swift, she’s my favourite artist of this decade and forever. I love romantic music and music which touch my soul 🎶. It has to make me feel something. Music is always there for us, in good and bad times. I can definitely see within the years I have Spotify how my music taste has changed depending on what I was going through in my life.

How my music changed within the seasons

Winter ❄️☃️🌬️

In the Winter I listened to Ariana Grande, Alfred García and the podcast of Yoga Girl. The new album Thank u, next of Ariana just came out and I had it on repeat. Same goes for the album of Alfred which came out in December. I also listened a lot to the podcast of Yoga Girl – conversations from the heart. I listen to her podcast every week so that doesn’t change at all.

Spring 🌼🌷🌻

During the Spring time I listened again a lot to Ariana Grande, Alfred García and to the podcast of Yoga Girl – conversations from the heart. What changed was that I also listened a lot to the song Arcade of the Dutch Duncan Laurence which was the winner of Eurovision. Best song ever. Goosebumps all the time.

Summer 🌞🌊

In the Summer I only listened to Taylor Swift’s new album Lover. Best album ever 😍💖. I still listen to it. I also listened to the podcast of Yoga Girl of course. That never changes haha.

Autumn 🍁🍃

During Autum my music didn’t change that much. I still listened to Taylor Swift, and also to a new podcast of Yoga Girl which is Yoga Girl daily. The daily version are just 5 minutes each day which could be a meditation or an insight or thankful Thursday. I also listened to Miki Núñez who represented Eurovision for Spain last year 🎉🇪🇸.

Top artist of 2019

My top artist was Ariana Grande which was surprising to me because deep down in my heart my top artist is Taylor Swift haha sorry, no not sorry 😂💖. I also love Ariana so much and because her album came earlier I listened more to her album in the beginning of 2019. Maybe, next year this changed. I listened more than 10 hours to her music. My favourite song was bloodline. I love this song.

Top artists of 2019

I’m not surprised that these are my top artists as they are my favs but I also thought Amaia and Sofia Ellar would make the list. I also listened so much to them. Maybe, next year. I love Ariana, Taylor, Alfred, Julia and Aitana. I love to listen to American artists and Spanish ones.

World citizen

I listened to a lot of music from different countries of the world 🌍. I listened to music from 24 different countries. I listened to music from USA (Ariana Grande), of course Spain a lot (Aitana), United Kingdom (Ed Sheeran), Avicii (Sweden, his posthumous album was beautiful… I still miss him so much) and also BTS (South Korea).

My top genres

I listened mostly to pop music, Spanish pop, Dutch pop, Colombian pop and R&B in Spanish. It’s just all pop except of the R&B.

My top 10 songs

1. Arcade – Duncan Laurence
2. Lover – Taylor Swift
3. The Archer – Taylor Swift
4. Bloodline – Ariana Grande
5. La Venda – Miki Núñez
6. Fake Smile – Ariana Grande
7. Anxiety – Julia Michaels ft. Selena Gomez
8. Imagine – Ariana Grande
9. Bad Idea – Ariana Grande
10. You Need To Calm Down – Taylor Swift

I love all of these songs and artists. They all have a special place in my heart 💞.

My top podcast

The only podcast I listen to is the one of Yoga Girl – conversations from the heart. I listened 3007 minutes to her podcasts which is more than 50 hours. Her podcasts are the best. She’s the biggest inspiration in my life. Her podcast are so inspiring and full of beautiful lessons. They are about self love, mental health, trauma, healing, yoga, motherhood, relationships, life, death and everything in between. I wish to meet her one day and go to a yoga retreat in Aruba 🇦🇼 because it’s my biggest dream evah 😍💖🙏✨.

Time spent on Spotify from the last decade

Last year I listened to more music on Spotify than this year. If you see the minutes I listened to music on Spotify in 2015 until now it definitely decreased. I think in 2015 I still listened to break up music so had to use Spotify for that.

The best music of the decade

My music taste changed a lot during this decade because at the end of 2012 I experienced my first and only heartbreak 💔😢. I listened a lot to the song A drop of the ocean and other songs of Ron Pope. I also listened a lot to all the break up songs of The Script. I don’t like The Script so much anymore because they changed way too much. After those years I listened a lot to Passenger. Let her go is my favourite song of him. I loved his concert where I went to a few years ago. In 2017 the song Despacito was such a hit through the whole world. Last year I listened a lot to Sofia Ellar and I still do. I love her so much. This year was the year of Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande. My favourite song of the year is Arcade because that’s the winning Eurovision song and made so much impact on me 😍😭. I needed this song to heal my broken heart at the end of this decade. It touched my heart in so many ways.

Duncan Laurence – Arcade

My top artist of the decade

The artist of the decade for me is Passenger which is normal when you saw above that I listened to his songs a lot during this decade. Now, I listen more to up beat and happy songs but also more slower ones. It’s nice to listen to all different kinds of music styles.

Stats of 2019

Ariana, Taylor, Alfred, Julia and Aitana are my top artists of 2019 of course. I listened 7233 minutes to Spotify which is a lot. My top genre is of course pop 💃.

My decade wrapped

My top artists of this decade are Passenger, The Script, Ron Pope, Frank Hamilton and Joshua Radin. These are all artists I listened to after the break up of my first love. The next decade this will definitely change because I almost don’t listen to these artists anymore. My favourite number was definitely Let her go from Passenger. I also loved Rojitas las orejas from Fito y Fitopaldis. This is one song I listened to a lot when I liked a Mexican 🇲🇽 guy haha it was our song. I also loved the song Coastal Love from Honne. My top genre was of course Pop.

My top songs of 2019 – Playlist

You can listen to my songs of 2019 on this playlist which Spotify made for me. There are Spanish songs in them but also English songs.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you found it interesting to hear about what kind of music I listened to this year and decade 🎶. What are your favourite artists of 2019? What were your favourite songs this year? Which music genre do you listen to? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

Reflection on 2019 & happy new year to you all! ✨🎉💖💫🥳🤗

1 Jan 2020

Hola lovelies 💕,

I’m doing a bit better than when I wrote my last blog. However, I’m having a cold now and my period is coming soon so always something bad. In this blog post I will make a short reflection on 2019. I will write about some low and highs of this year which I also wrote in a journal. Every year has good and bad things. I also wish you all a beautiful new year! 🥳🎉😘💖 May all your wildest and biggest dreams come true!

A new year has arrived: 2020. A new decade too. I’m happy to leave this decade because it came with good things but also with bad things. In this decade I met my first love and also got my heart broken at the end of 2012. I’m already 7 years single haha let’s keep up that way 😂. I also experienced beautiful things this decade like graduating college 🎓 and speaking at the United Nations in NYC 🗽 because I won an essay competition in Spanish. This happened in the Summer of 2015. I think this was definitely one of the biggest milestones this decade. I guess we can all relate to good and bad moments during this decade. I just really wish 2020 will be a better year for all of us 🙏. I hope we will experience beautiful things. I also hope we will survive and grow from the bad things.

My speech about ending hunger in the world at The United Nations 🗽 the 24th of July 2015

This year I learned some important life lessons which I will take with me in 2020. I learned that sometimes we can feel more connected to people we have never met than to the ones who are next to us. I love you all so much. You all mean the world to me. I learned that a real friend will be there for you in good and bad times. I learned that life has lows and highs and that most people only share the highs on social media. I learned that it’s good to spend less time online because I only compare myself to others online which makes my mental health worse. It isn’t real life. I also am learning to sit with every emotion whether that’s a negative one such as fear or anger. We have to feel it all, go through it until we can let go. It’s hard because when I feel anxious I just want that feeling to go away as soon as possible as it makes me feel so unwell. I just hope to know how to live with anxiety this next year.

This new year my intention is to listen more to my inner voice and let my heart guide me through life instead of my mind. 2020 will be the year of self love, growth and achieving my dreams. I will use the power that I have of being my authentic and sensitive self. I hope I will be able to get a job I love and which is good for my mental health. I also hope to meet more people I have met on the internet because I align so good with you all. My intention is to feel peace and know how to go through the waves of anxiety. I know I have to overcome some fears such as going to the dentist. Anxiety just doesn’t disappear because it’s the new year. I listened to the podcast of Yoga Girl and did the intention setting ceremony. I think setting intentions is much better than resolutions. Mostly we don’t achieve all resolutions we set for ourselves or it gives us too much pressure.

In 2019 I experienced a lot of amazing things like travelling to new places like León in March with my mother. I also went to Granada again in July with my lovely mother and met my friend there. In August I went to Gijón with my Spanish friend. I want to travel more with friends and also go to a surf camp again this new year 🌊🌞🏄‍♀️. This year I went to the beautiful tulip fields in The Netherlands 😍🌷This year I also read more amazing books. To love and let go by Yoga Girl changed my life and I’m forever thankful for that. It was spiritual and beautiful. I will share a review about this book soon. This new year I will keep reading, writing, singing, travelling and doing all things I love. This year I also went to the concert of Alfred Garcia which I loved. Next year I really do hope to go to more concerts like the one of Taylor Swift. I’m dying to see her live as it’s my dream 😍🎶 I also hope to see Yoga Girl one day. I also hope to get tickets for Eurovision live.

Travelling with my Spanish friend to Gijón 💖🌞🌊🏄‍♀️

Awesome trip to Granada with my mother in July 😍🌞

I also faced a fear this year which was having a first interview for an internship in a hotel 🏩 in Spain. At the end they didn’t call me back but I went there and did my best. I hate interviews so it’s a good thing that I did well even though my heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to die 😭.

An important event this year was The Netherlands 🇳🇱 winning Eurovision after 44 years 🎉🥇🎶 This was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. It was a dream coming dream. I’m being a fan of Eurovision all my life so to see this happening was just so amazing and beautiful. I can’t wait to go to the concert of Duncan Laurence soon.

I want to give thanks to my family, friends and all the people I met this year. I’m so happy I met more amazing people. I’m thankful for my pen pals which I met this year. I’m thankful for the Goddess community, the Yoga Girl Community and this community. This mental health community is so important for my well-being. You make my life so much better. It’s so much better to know that I’m not alone with my feelings. We all feel the same things just not at the same time. It’s okay if you have had a hard year. I’m always here for you all. I hope this new year will make our heart glow of golden glitter ✨.

I celebrated New Year’s Eve with my mother at the home of the mother of Verónica and her brother. It was strange to be there without my brother and Véronica. They couldn’t be in Valladolid this time. We ate a delicious meal which was some meat, potatoes and bread with avocado and cheese sauce. I loved the chorizo and jamón serrano too which is typical Spanish food. In Spain it’s also typical to eat 12 grapes at twelve o’clock so we did that. I love to watch las campanadas 🍇😍. We also drank some champagne 🥂 We watched a program on tv which I love because it’s about Spanish artists singing. I love singing programs 🎶. Later I also played Mario Kart Deluxe and Mario Bros with the Nintendo Switch from the brother of Verónica. I really loved it so much and was pretty good at it. I was bad at Just Dance haha 🎮😂 On New Year’s Day I was chilling, resting and watching the movie Notting Hill.

Happy new year my lovely friends! 🎉 💖✨ I believe in the good things coming and hopefully it will be in abundance this new year. We all deserve it so much. I wish you all love, health and happiness ✨ I love you all so much 💞. Thank you for being there for me always. We are always in this together 💪

Thank you all for reading this blog post, the first one of the new year yeahhhh ✨ I hope you all liked it. How are you feeling about this new year? What is an intention you have set for yourself this new year? How did you celebrate new year’s eve? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

I’m so done people making choices for me

31 Dec 2019

Hey lovelies 💕,

I prepared another blog post but I think it has to wait. I really need to share my feelings and thoughts and I can only do it here in my safe space 🙏. I’m in Spain right now and again I feel so bad. It feels like every time I’m in Spain now I get a mental breakdown 😢. It’s horrible because it’s my fav place ever and I’m always so happy to be here. It’s heartbreaking that I’m again so sad, so anxious and so angry. I don’t want to feel bad in Spain again. I will tell you all about it in this blog post. It’s about people making choices for me. I’m sorry if this post is depressing but it’s just how I’m feeling. It’s also always when I feel the worst that I can speak the truth out loud in an authentic and vulnerable way. Maybe it will help others too who are feeling the same way. At the end, we all feel the same things just at different times. The picture below is me crying so hard. I just want to be really honest about that. Maybe it’s a cry of help but it just feels good to share on here.

The flight went well except that we had to walk so much because our luggage was in a different terminal. I’m exhausted from the trip to be honest. We ate some delicious pasta from the airplane, a bread with jamón serrano and I ate some delicious 😋 yoghurt ice cream with smarties. We took the train to our home from Madrid. The bad stuff began when we talked with my family in The Netherlands.

I had an appointment for going to the dentist a few days ago in the afternoon and my mother in the morning for control. My family didn’t forget that and my mother said I wasn’t going that day but another day. I’m really exhausted. Then my family said well if you don’t go and come back to Holland then I will make an appointment to go there in the hospital. In Holland you can’t just go to a clinic or private thing because they aren’t specialized with getting wisdom teeth out. It cost more and you have to go to the hospital 🏥. The hospital makes me even more scared.

I said okay and we hang up. It was then when I felt so angry, anxious and sad. I can still feel my heart beating so fast 😢😔 I told my mother the most horrible things like I want to be dead. I wanted to run away and never come back. I slammed the doors so hard. Thank God nothing broke. I still feel bad. It’s not only the dentist thing which triggers me. It’s always people making decisions and choices for me in my life. Saying when I have to go to the dentist. Having to do things I don’t want to. I often do it because I’m a people pleaser. It’s not good. I’m so done with it. I’m always anxious of people being angry at me.

I don’t have the energy anymore. I really don’t. Yes of course I know I have to go to the dentist but just when I feel ready for it which is of course never because it’s a real phobia. I’m waiting for an infection silly me…. 😢. I know our family wants the best for us but not in a good way sometimes. You can’t just force someone. I just would like to feel that sense of having some control over my life. Now I feel that others control my life. I feel obligated to go. It isn’t healthy for me that lack of control over my own life. It’s draining me.

Also clearly some people doesn’t understand my anxiety or any other mental illnesses. It’s so hard to feel so many feelings when someone just don’t understand you. I now I have to calm down but I feel like I don’t want to speak to anyone anymore. I don’t want to see anyone. How can I live my own life when I still feel others have so much influence on me? A few years ago I went to a mental health worker for anxiety and she told me that some people have too much influence on me. I really do love them all but I think she’s right because I just feel like I can’t make my own decisions which at the end makes me so unhappy and anxious in life. It’s important to be able to make your own decisions and live life the way you want.

I know I really have to go to the dentist but it’s just a big phobia I have. I don’t know how to overcome it. At the end all worries are in our mind and it’s nothing like I expect it. Then some people will say you see, you were afraid of nothing. Well, yes but that’s because I suffer from anxiety. That’s also the reason I don’t know if therapy would work for me because my family isn’t in favor of that. I also don’t know if that would benefit me. I just know that after 26 years living on this earth 🌎 it’s time for me to make decisions on my own.

Maybe, I also overreact now much more because I’m so exhausted and didn’t sleep well and enough last night. I also feel so lonely lately. I feel like some friends don’t understand me as well and ignore me. I get angry so easily. I’m not doing okay again and it hurts. I don’t want to see people who don’t care about me. I feel also like I’m hurting my mom which is the one I love the most in this life. It breaks my heart to see her suffering because of me 💔😢. I don’t want to die of course but I also don’t want to feel like this and live life this way because it hurts me.

Thank you for reading this post. I hope it made any sense. Sorry for the rant. I don’t even know why I’m always apologizing for feeling my feelings. I’m here for you all too ❤️ What do you think of all of this? Any advice? Do you also feel like others decide decisions for you in your life? I would really appreciate any thoughts, messages or advice 💖🙏.

Love you all so much 💞,

xoxo Christina

Merry Christmas to all of you! 🎄💖💃🌟✨🎅

24 Dec 2019

HO HO HO lovelies 💞,

In this blog post I will share some pictures of my Christmas, some thoughts about Christmas and wish you all a Merry Christmas 🎄. I’m still feeling a bit bad. Sometimes I have some cramps or pain in the right side of my stomach. I’m thinking that maybe it could be ovulation pain. My parents thought the same. I hope to feel better soon. At least I have less headaches and my throat is doing better again too. I also have had some problems with my blog as my posts don’t show up in the public reader when you search some tags. I don’t know why. Hopefully, anyone can help me out with this. I would really appreciate that. I was also packing before Christmas to go to Spain this weekend to be able to enjoy Christmas without stressing about that 😂.

Now, let’s talk about Christmas time again. We can get pressured around this time of the year because we are bombarded with positive messages of being happy and of having to enjoy Christmas. While I’m a bit struggling with my health I find it difficult to just be happy because I have to do. I think that’s an unrealistic thought. We have to enjoy Christmas on our way. Do what you love to do. Spend time with your loves ones. Eat what you want to eat and don’t feel any pressure by it. I’m here for anyone who needs it 💞🙏. It’s okay if your Christmas isn’t happy or if you are struggling. I’m here for you and wish you all the love you need. You are not alone.

This time of the year always makes us reflect on this past year. It make us think of all the people we love. It can make us feel sad and happy. This time of the year can be a hard time for those who are missing someone. I’m thinking of those who are struggling these days with their mental health, physical health or any other struggle of life. You are in my prayers 🙏✨ .

I also really do think that Christmas is about giving and don’t like the consumism and materalism stuff 🎁. We don’t have much presents with Christmas because we already celebrated Sinterklaas before. I got amazing presents which you can read in this blog post. I always like to give money for charities and help others in need, not only during Christmas time. A few days ago I donated €15 for Prinses Máxima Centrum which is a hospital dedicated for children with cancer in The Netherlands. I hope my money can help the investigation to make more children better. I also know a little child who has leucemia and is being treated there. She’s a little child, only 6 years old. I know them because of my choir. I wish that she and every little child can get better. They all deserve that so much. I think it’s so important to donate money to good charities and help people in need.

I encourage anyone to give something back this Christmas and whenever you can. Christmas isn’t all about presents, food and all that materialistic stuff. Christmas is about making other people happy and being there for people who need it the most 💕 Make a change and please donate to any charity you like. You will be so thankful and happy that you did. You can also help someone without giving money but give them your time, love and showing them your heart. If someone you know or a stranger is struggling, be there for them. Be the light in those dark times 💡. Everyone needs someone sometimes.

I will give this love and light this time to the ones I love and to the ones who need it. We can be each other lights. We can give that light to someone who’s struggling in the darkness. Be that light for someone in need. If that could safe someone’s life and make them feel better then that’s all what counts. There’s nothing what makes me more happier than seeing someone smile because of something I did or some words I said. I wish all of you so much happiness that your heart will glow from golden glitter.

Christmas time for me begins on the 23th of December because it’s such a special date before Christmas. It makes me cry writing and thinking about it 😭. It’s the wedding anniversary of my parents 💒. This year they are already 43 years married. I wish them many more years of happiness, luck and love to come. I love them so much 😍. They are the best parents I could wish for. Thank you mama and papa for always being there for me and for making me believe that real love exists. I’m so blessed to have them in my life. I really can’t live without their love. When I think of someone dying I cry and panic but I have to tell myself to live in the present and that everything is okay now. My daddy was so sick and almost died when I was 11 years old because of an infection in his pancreas and many complications so this universe give him a new opportunity to live. I’m so thankful for that. In the evening my parents are going to the cathedral with an old lady they know. My mother used to clean her house. I used to sing “The nine lessons and carols” but I’m not in that choir anymore. I don’t go because sometimes I get anxiety because of memories. I always use this time to enjoy a bath 🛀 with a Lush bath bomb and paint my nails 💅. I love to get ready for Christmas and take time for myself. I need me time.

The 24th of December we always celebrate Christmas with the family but this time we celebrated it with the whole family on the 26th which is boxing day. It’s the Second Day of Christmas in The Netherlands. On Christmas Eve my brother Rafael and Verónica came to our house and we ate a delicious simple meal. This time my brother, his wife, me and my mother aren’t going to the cathedral but to the church near to our house for the mass. It’s really a tradition to go to church with Christmas 🎄⛪. I’m Catholic but don’t know if I believe in God but yes I believe in something, in the universe for sure. There’s a beautiful choir singing. I always feel more safe in this church as it’s more familiar. I don’t want to see all people I know asking questions about my life like when I go to the cathedral. The mass was beautiful. It always makes me feel the Christmas spirit.

I also always wear this Christmas costume like Santa Claus because I enjoy wearing it. My bestie said haha are you going to wear again that wore dress?! 😂🤶 Lol, it’s a bit short that’s why she said that. I never wear it outside though haha it’s way too cold for that. It makes me feel sexy and beautiful. I still can wear it so yeah I enjoy to wear it at home. My family also loves it especially my 4 year old niece. It’s a tradition for me to always wear it until I don’t fit it.

On Christmas day the 25th I enjoyed watching some Christmas movies 🎬 with my parents. Maybe my mother and I would go to the appartment of my brother to see their Christmas tree. The next day, on Boxing Day we celebrated Christmas with the whole family which means with my parents, my two brothers and their wifes and my little niece. We ate a delicious meal which was some meat, potatoes with different sauces and salad. As dessert we had fruits, red fruit mascarpone ice cream 🍨 and also blackberry juice which my father makes. I loved that so much as it’s very special and so sweet 😍. His mother also made it when she was alive so the tradition continues. We had such a nice and peaceful time together.

I had a beautiful Christmas time. I also want to say thanks to the mother of my ex lol because we always sent present to her and she to us. It’s already 7 years ago when he broke up with me during Christmas time but I’m finally these last years a bit happy with Christmas and don’t feel that dark cloud so much because of that horrible memory when I felt my world breaking in pieces 💔. I’m thankful for her beautiful presents which will arrive a week later. I’m also thankful for all the Christmas cards I got from pen pals, blogging friends, friends and family 💖. I feel all your love. I’m also thankful for the presents I got from Elsie. I loved your presents so much. She sent me this beautiful notebook and the presents you can see below. Thank you Sophia for your amazing presents too. I loved the nail polish as I really need some new ones as most of them are dry haha. I also loved the plate and the wallet. Turqouise is such a beautiful colour. I’m really blessed to be friends with you all. From my brother and his wife I got snowman marshmallows 😍⛄ I love to put them in a cup of hot chocolate. It’s delicious 😋

I hope you all will enjoy a beautiful Christmas with the ones you love 💖. Merry Christmas to all of you! I wish you all love, happiness and luck. I’m so blessed to be part of this beautiful community. I think that’s the best Christmas present I could wish for. Be safe lovelies and enjoy Christmas time on your own way.

Thank you for reading this blog post about Christmas time 🎄🎅✨. I hope you all liked it. How do you celebrate Christmas? Did you enjoy it? What are some traditions you do on Christmas? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

I love you all so much 💞,

xoxo Christina

Music of November 🎶💞

17 Dec 2019

Hola lovelies 💕,

I’m not feeling well this week because I have stomach cramps and aches. I don’t eat much just rice and veggies and not too much food. I also feel sometimes a strange feeling in my throat like something is stuck there which of course can’t be true. I can’t have a stone in my throat lol but it feels like that. It comes and goes. Maybe, it would be better to go to the doctor here or in Spain. My mother gets angry when I say here I don’t feel well and don’t go to the doctor. I can understand her but I’m just so anxious always to go to the doctor 😢. I hate it. Maybe I’m just getting sick. I also feel like I have to be happy and healthy and all stuff for Christmas when I can’t. I think we have to let this unrealistic thought go and just focus on ourselves and on our loved ones this holiday time. It’s okay if Christmas isn’t perfect, if we are feeling unhappy or unwell. Do what you love to do and do what you can do. Our health always comes first 🙏. Now, I will share some good music I listened to in November. Some very good Spanish songs have been released and some good songs of Taylor Swift have been released. I’m excited to share them all with you.

Jonas Brothers – Like it’s Christmas

“You make every day feel like it’s Christmas“

I mean this had to be the first one to share in this list. It’s a Christmas song 🎄✨ of the Jonas Brothers yeahhh. I love it so much. It’s a fun song and really makes me happy. It’s a great song to get in the festive mood.

Harry Styles – Watermelon sugar

LOVE THIS SONG 💖🍉. My love for Harry Styles has only grown more and more. Sign of the times is my fav song of him from his first album. This song is so good!!! His voice is just so amazing. It’s one of my fav songs of this new album of him. I will share songs of his new album the next month.

Maroon 5 – Memories

“Here’s to the ones that we got
Cheers to the wish you were here, but you’re not
‘Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
Of everything we’ve been through
Toast to the ones here today
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
‘Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
And the memories bring back, memories bring back you

There’s a time that I remember, when I did not know no pain
When I believed in forever, and everything would stay the same
Now my heart feel like December when somebody say your name
‘Cause I can’t reach out to call you, but I know I will one day, yeah

Everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody hurts someday, aye aye
But everything gon’ be alright
Go and raise a glass and say, aye”

This song was released in September. I heard it so many times in shops and on the radio and of course it has to come on a music list. Maroon 5 is amazing. I love them. This song is so beautiful and also emotional. We have to be thankful for the ones who are present in our lives right now and for the ones who left us. The memories of the ones who left us are always in our hearts. I’m thankful that nobody I know died this year. Remember, everything will be alright.

Pablo Alborán ft. Ava Max – Tabú

This collaboration of Pablo Alborán and Ava Max is so good! 💕 I love it. Pablo Alborán is one of my fav male artists in Spain. Ava Max is also such a good singer. It sounds so chill and makes me wanna dance. I always love Spanish artists singing together with other artists who sing in English.

Miki Núñez ft. Sofía Ellar – Coral del arrecife

This is such an amazing song! I love Sofia Ellar which is definitely one of my favourite Spanish singers. I also love Miki so much. Miki represented Spain in Eurovision this year. This is a happy song about the coral reef. It’s about the beach, my happy place. I can’t wait to go to the beach soon. I WANT SUMMER BACK 🌞😔. NOW. ~~Cancel Winter.~~

Pablo López – Mama no

WOW such a beautiful song. Pablo López is such a great artist. His music is always so sensitive and so touching. This song is about that everyone critizes you but don’t know you. This is also so relatable. People judge others so easily when they don’t even know that person.

Alli Tolley – Tangled hair

“Surely there must be a life out there for me
Oh Lord, please don’t let this be the plan you have for me
‘Cause I don’t want this to be the way my story ends
I’m tired of the label and I’m tired of the pain
I’m tired of the looks up and down
To see how I’m doin’
If it’s still who I am
I’m tired of my body being seen as who I am
I’m tired of this life
I’m tired of this life
Don’t you get, I’m still a mess sometimes
Please understand
That my mind is as tangled as my hair sometimes
That my mind is as tangled as my hair
I’m not okay just yet
But I’m working on it“

This is an emotional and inspiring song from Alli who left us way too early. She commited suicide 💔. Mental illnesses are the worst. I don’t know her but my pen pals knew her and were really shocked about the news. The lyrics is so relatable and she has such a lovely voice. I’m really sad that she couldn’t go on anymore. We can’t save anyone but really sometimes it’s all I want. I was sad to hear the news too 😢 She was so talented and inspiring. Such a beautiful soul. May you rest in peace.

Taylor Swift ft. Shawn Mendes – Lover remix

AAAAH THIS IS MY FAV SONG OF TAYLOR’S NEW ALBUM. I love this remix so much with Shawn Mendes 😍. The voices are so good and so beautiful together. I wish to see them both live one day. They are amazing.

Taylor Swift – Beautiful Ghosts (From The Motion Picture “Cats”)

Such a mysterious and magical song! Taylor’s voice is amazing. She writes songs so beautifully. ARTIST OF THE DECADE YASSSS MY QUEEN. She made this song for the movie Cats which is also a musical. I can’t wait to see this movie soon.

Sofia Ellar Ft. Ana – Ana (New version)

Sofia already released this song in her last album but this time she made a version with her mother. Her mother is called Ana and that’s what the song is about. I love it so much. They both sing beautifully and you can feel the love and emotion through this song. Our mothers are always there for us. I love mine so much too. I’m so grateful for all the love. I also love Spanish music so much as the language is so lovely and so sweet. I really find it a romantic language.

David Bisbal – Mucho más allá (Frozen 2)

David Bisbal is a famous singer from Spain who also got famous from the Spanish talent show Operación Triunfo years ago. This song is for the movie Frozen 2 in Spain ⛄. I still have to watch this beautiful movie. I love this song. His voice is amazing. In English this song is called “Into the unknown”.

Alfred García – 1016/El círculo rojo

Alfred just released a new version of his album 1016. There are 4 new songs in there and I’m ging to share my two favourites. I love him so much. He always write such good songs. All his songs are written by himself. He is a mental health warrior. He deals with anxiety and depression. Now he is doing better. He is also always such a caring and sensitive person. His songs are so beautiful. I can’t wait for the next new songs of him.

Alfred García ft. Txarango – Crema la nit

LOVE THIS SONG 😍💖. They sing about Crema La Nit which is a typical fiesta in Valencia which is during Las Fallas. I love Catalan. It’s such a cute language and it sounds so good. It makes me feel calm and happy to listen to this song. I also like Txarango as it’s a band from Catalonia.

Alfred García – Amar volar al invierno

His voice is amazing and this song also makes me feel so peaceful. He is so talented. It’s really such a lovely song. I also love his “buenas noches” which means good night in Spanish at the end of the song. It’s really cute.

Thank you all for reading this blog post and listening to these songs. I hope you liked them. What was your favourite song from my list? What was your favourite song in November? Any Christmas songs you like? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

Sinterklaas haul yeahhh 🎉🎁😍💞

10 Dec 2019

Hola lovelies 💕,

Today I will share with you all a nice Sinterklaas haul 🎁. We celebrated Sinterklaas last Friday at my brother’s appartment with the family. It’s a typical Dutch celebration. I always am looking so forward to this celebration all year long 🎉. The official day of the celebration is the 5th of December but we celebrated it on the 6th. They say that Sinterklaas is a saint which comes from Spain 🇪🇸 in a boat. If you have been a good child you would get presents. If not, they would make pepernoten of you which are some Dutch sweets and you would be put into the zak van Sinterklaas which goes to Spain hahaha. Some people make surprises on this day, hide presents and make poems. Our family just buys presents for each one of us. I’m excited to share with you all the amazing stuff which I got this year.

A yoga mat!!! 🧘‍♀️

Finally, I got a yoga mat 🙏✨. I’m so happy with it. I really hope to use it much at home. I love to practise yoga with Adrienne on Youtube. I have to do it more. I only took some lessons in my life and I really want to go to some lessons when I have more money. The yoga mat is pink and from a real Yoga brand. I don’t know which one because my brother and his wife didn’t told me hahah. It was a nice surprise. It was put into a big box of Samsung and my brother wrote Samsung unstoppable as it’s that slogan. I really do love this yoga mat as it’s beautiful so I really need to get myself on the mat now. My biggest inspiration alive is Yoga Girl 😍 and I love the Yoga Community. I hope to be able to go to one of her lessons and also go on a retreat in Aruba 🇦🇼 one day. This is already the first step in making my dream come true. Now, I want to practise it more and become better in it. It could also help me with my back pain and it’s so good for your mental health too. It would make me feel more calm like meditation also does.

Flow magazines 📚

In the box where the yoga mat was in there were also 5 Flow magazines. I love the Dutch and Belgian Flow magazine. It’s so creative and inspiring. I love the quotes and the stories written. You can find stories of mental health, how to live a simple life, tips to increase happiness and many other inspiring stories. It’s about letting life flow without any hurry and staying in the present moment. With the magazine also come free goodies such as a laptop sticker, notebook, quotes, little cards, stationery. I love that so much.

Flow tear-off calendar 🗓️

I love those kinds of calendars so much. I always have one in my room. This year I had one of The Bucketlist with quotes and things to do. This year I have again one from Flow 🌸. It isn’t only a magazine, they sell lots of stationery and other things too like this amazing calender. I love the quote on it “It is all about finding calm in the chaos”. This year it comes full of inspiring quotes, advice, photography, life lessons, insights, tips and pages about mental health, psychology and lifestyle. It’s great to begin the day with reading something inspiring ✨.

Flow book for paper lovers 🌸😍

THIS IS DEFINITELY ONE OF MY FAV PRESENTS EVAH!!! 😍 This book from Flow is so amazing and really heaven for any stationery lover. It cointains beautiful writing paper, stickers, quotes, cards, posters and even wrapping paper for presents. I already have one at home but this is the seventh edition which contains much more beautiful and amazing stationery.

Christmas tree pen 🎄🖋️

This is a beautiful Christmas tree pen I got. It even has some things on it like little bells haha 🎅. It’s really cute! Maybe it’s a bit difficult to write with it but it could be a nice decoration too.

Advent candle 🕯️

I got a beautiful hearts advent candle. I love it so much. Anything with hearts is always a must have! I’m the queen of hearts and have loads of stuff in my room with hearts. Yes, I’m that romantic and sensitive girl. The only bad thing is that we use electronic candles at home because my parents are afraid to use real candles ✨. I still hope to use this one one day hahah 😂.

Chocolate advent calendar 🗓️🍫

I love to have a chocolate advent calendar 😍. I can’t begin December without one. I have now two because my daddy also got me one when I came back from Spain. That one is a bit messed up because the chocolates got messed up but well now I can eat even more chocolate every day. I have to be careful I don’t get sick of too much chocolate.

Chocolate heaven 🍫🍫🍫

I got so much delicious chocolate. I love it so much. It’s typical to get letters of chocolate. I have got money out of chocolate, two chocolate letters with the letter C (one is with white chocolate with sea salt and the other one with milk), a white chocolate of Sinterklaas, spice nuts also called kruidnoten in The Netherlands with milk chocolate and white chocolats. I also got milk chocolate pralines in a beautiful package. Lastly but not least, I got a delicious marzipan with chocolate. I think I have enough chocolate now haha. Chocolate is just the best and a girl’s best friend ❤️👌.

Pickwick Joy of tea – Green tropical 🍵💞

Of course, I got tea as I love to drink tea so much. I love to drink Yogi tea which always comes with a quote. I like to try different teas 💖. This one is from Pickwick and it’s green tropical. It contains ginger, pineapple, coconut and lemon. I think this will be a delicious one.

Christmas socks 🎄

I love these Christmas socks from Primark so much. One pair is with a reindeer on it with little balls and the other one has Christmas balls and rings on it. I love them and I’m sure they are also very cozy.

A mug to paint 🎨

In Spain I have another mug that I still need to paint. Now, I got another mug to paint 💖. This one is a beautiful swan 🦢. I love to be creative so this would be a nice thing to do as I’ve never done this before. When the painting is finished you have to let it dry in the microwave. I hope it doesn’t explode lol 😂.

Squeeze animal 😍

This is the squeeze animal I lost in Granada this Summer. I had it in my bed in the hotel but the cleaners threw it away without knowing. It made me really sad. I’m happy to have got the same one back. It’s so cute and it’s good to squeeze it when I’m stressed. It makes me feel more calm 💜.

Beauty products 💖🚿

I got a pink Batiste Dry Shampoo which is the one of Blush – floral and flirty haha. I love it but I also have to use it a bit less because otherwise my hair feels sometimes a bit dry. It’s good for my bangs as that easily gets oily which I don’t like. I also got a Vogue Girl Deodorant. I love the cats one 😻. It smells so good.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you liked my Sinterklaas haul. Which present was your favourite of mine list? Did you love the stationery I got? What’s on your Christmas list this year? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

November favourites 💖🍴

3 Dec 2019

Hola lovelies 💕,

I’m happy that my November month turned positive because in the middle of November I felt so depressed, low and anxious in Spain 😢. I know it’s because I associate Spain now with going to the dentist which increase my anxiety. I just don’t want to feel those horrible feelings again as it makes me feel so bad. It’s just the worst. Sometimes I also think maybe the universe wants me to learn me something. I had a bad experience a few years ago with a dentist who said I was childish and was acting like a 15 years old because I was anxious and cried. This dentist in Spain is so lovely and nice so if I get all my wisdom teeth out there maybe that will cover the bad experience I had with that dentist in Holland and will feel less fearful in the future. The universe always give us situations to learn something from them 🌌. I’m happy to share with you now my favourites of November which includes eating delicious tapas with my friends, shopping time in the Primark, stationery shopping and finishing writing Christmas cards 🎄.

Things I did with my family 👪:

Tapas night with mamita 🍴

I enjoyed some delicious tapas with my mother 😍😋. This is a very funny story to be honest. We were in a famous bar in Valladolid to eat some croquetas. My mother heard some guys talking and she thought they were from another country. Suddenly they began to talk to us. One of them was from India and was working in a company in Chicago. The other man was Spanish and had his own company. They were both married. They invited us for some tapas, croquetas and a drink. My mother drank a glass of wine and I had mosto which is grape juice. Then they invited us to a second bar hahah my mother thought wow what?! It was nice to get all free food and drinks. In the second bar we ate some delicious jamón serrano. Then something uncomfortable happened for me. We talked about life and jobs and I said I was looking for a job. Then this Spanish man said he could offer me a job in the marketing sector in his own company. I laughed and didn’t say anything. He then said that I don’t have attitude and that isn’t good when you are looking for a job. Well, I’m not going to say anything about my anxiety and why I acted that way 😕. My mother asked for his contact details but that’s it. I don’t find it normal that a stranger says that to you. What do you think? I’m also always very careful and don’t trust people that easily. I’m not good in making choices too.

Dinner at Erchus 🍴

I had a delicious tortilla de patata with bread at Erchus. It’s not that far from us and cheap. My mother ate some delicious churros with chocolate ☕. This is typical Spanish and you often eat it during the cold Winter months. I love the chocolate but for a drink I prefer the hot chocolate even though this is the real chocolate drink.

Shopping time in Rio Shopping 🛒

One day we went to Rio Shopping in Valladolid. You have to take the bus to go there. I wasn’t feeling well in the bus twice. The second time was worse because I felt like I couldn’t breath. I know it’s anxiety but I guess it’s also because it’s always so hot everywhere which triggers my anxiety. I’m happy that afterwards we walked home from the city. I needed some fresh air. However, I enjoyed some shopping time in this big mall. I bought a nice book which is The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time in Fnac. I heard a lot of good things about this book 📖. My daddy has that book at home in Dutch. I also went to Primark with my mother and bought some nice things such as fluffy purple socks, frozen socks which I love, stationery set of Harry Potter, black heart panties, and a necklace from Disney which says be yourself which is already broken now. Afterwards, we went to Ikea and enjoyed some delicious hotdogs with fries 🍟. I also loved that we could drink as much as we want. I had some lemon drink.

Dinner at El Corte Inglés 🍴

I had a delicious dinner with my mother in the big shop El Corte Inglés 😋. We always love to eat sandwich ham & cheese with potatoes. My mother drank some tea and I had an ice tea. I also bought a blue striped jeans in Bershka. It’s been some time since I bought some clothes. I also bought some Christmas stickers 🎅🤶 at Tiger.

Watched the movie To all the boys I’ve loved before 💘🎬

Finally I watched the movie To all the boys I’ve loved before with my mother at home. I want to also buy this book and read it. This movie is about Lara Jean who writes letters to all of her past loves, the letters are meant for her eyes only. Until one day when all the love letters are sent out to her previous loves. Her life is soon thrown into chaos when her foregoing loves confront her one by one. I loved this movie so much! 😍 It’s a funny and romantic movie. I find the story very funny and the end is also so good. I wish I could have that happy ending too.

Buying stationery 🛍️✒️

I bought some amazing stationery with my mother at my favourite shop which is Action in The Netherlands. I bought some calligraphy rose gold pens, some nice stickers with dog and cats and quotes on it and a design paperpad deluxe with glitter which has 26 pages full of colours, quotes and unicorn print 🦄. I also bought a mystery designpad with all pages covered of the universe, stars, astrology signs and beautiful purple and blue colours. Aaaah it’s so damn beautiful! 😍✨🌌 I can use it to write quotes on it and sent that to my lovely pen pals.

Buying bath products and envelopes at Hema 🛀❤️

I bought some nice bath products 🛀 at the Hema. I bought hand cream with shea butter and eucalyptus oil and a glitter hair spray for Christmas 🎄✨ I love to care about my body with great products. They smell so well and I love the design and colours. I also bought some set of envelopes, three with bubble paper and the other 20 are self adhesive which is very useful.

Inspiring talks on the airplane ✨✈️

I had some good talks on the airplane this month. On the way to Spain I met a nice girl from Uruguay and the way back to Holland I met a guy from Spain. I had such a beautiful connection with him. It makes me sad that he doesn’t talk to me anymore but I’m happy that I had that conversations as sometimes you just need some good talks to get inspired and be more positive in life. We all need some positive words and some kindness. You can read about those talks in this post. I also met my lovely Spanish teacher at the airport in Madrid 🇪🇸.

Watching Junior Eurovision Song Contest 2019 🎶

I watched Junior Eurovision Song Contest with my mother in The Netherlands. I always loved to watch it because it’s so cute to see kids singing. Spain returned after 13 years again. I’m so proud Melani got the third place with the beautiful song Marte which is about climate change and plastic waste in the ocean 🌊. I wrote about her song in this post. The Netherlands got the fourth place with a dance song. I wished Spain would have won instead of Poland again. It was fun to watch.

Lovely things I did with my friends 💖:

Tapas night with my lovely friends in Haarlem 🇪🇸🍴

𝑰 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒃𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔 💞

The tapas night with my friends was awesome as always. I ate with my lovely friends at @lacubanitahaarlem. This time we changed from restaurant as we always ate in El Pincho. I love both of these restaurants so much. The tapas were delicious, service was fast and they were friendly and it’s not that expensive 😍🤗🍴 I loved the albóndigas with tomato sauce, sweet potatoes with curry, quesadillas, croquettes, tomatoes with mozarella and jamón serrano with melon. I also drank a virgen cocktail with coconut syrup and pineapple.

We ate so much all together as we could eat as much as we want because it’s a fixed price. As dessert my friends enjoyed a brownie, velvet cake 🍰 and ice cream. I always eat the dame blanche which is vanilla ice cream with warm chocolate sauce and whipped cream 🍨. I can never have enough of that as it’s my favourite dessert. We were the last ones in leaving the restaurant hahaha 😂. Time flies when you are having fun. Afterwards, we went to see a bit of a live concert in café Stiels.

Thank you so much for this lovely evening my friends 💖. Whenever I’m with the people I love everything is fine. Thank you for always being there for me. I really needed to spend some time with my good friends as that’s also good for my mental health. It’s so important to be surrounded by people who actually care about you. Spanish vibes always 🎉 I’m so blessed to have you all in my life. Real friends are the ones who are there for you in good and bad times. I’m happy I found my tribe haha. Friends who love food are the best friends you can ask for 😍🍴 Friends forever 💗👬👭💃 We will see each other soon again. Love you all so much 😘 xoxo

Pen pal letters 💌

I got some lovely pen pal letters from pen pals in America. One was handwritten and the other one was typed. I love to receive mail so much as it always make me so happy. These two girls are from the Yoga Girl Community. I hope to meet them one day. I also get a nice letter from Jess. I loved the quotes and the lovely cactus stickers. It was all so cute 💞.

Finished writing Christmas cards 🎄

I wrote 32 Christmas cards for my family and friends all over the world. I’m sending 20 with the post. I always love to give and receive Christmas cards. It’s just such a nice tradition. I decorate them with washi tape, stickers and glitter. In some of them I also have a surprise which is a golden or silver star. I like to make them personal. I hope they will like them 😊.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all liked it. What was your favourite from my list? What did you enjoy in November? Do you also write Christmas cards? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

Music of October 🎶💞

29 Nov 2019

Hey lovelies 💕,

I know I’m a bit late with this post but doesn’t matter, right?! I’m always late for everything so yeah that’s me 😂. It’s never too late to share some good music of the month October. Last month some good Spanish music and other pop music have been released 🎶.

Camila Cabello – Cry for me

Camila Cabello is only releasing so many good songs 😍. I can’t wait for her new album “Romance”. I can’t wait for this beautiful album of songs related to love. I know I will like it as I have been loving all her new songs so much. I think this song is amazing and has such a nice beat.

Camila Cabello – Easy

“Always thought I was hard to love till you made it seem so easy, seem so easy“

What a beautiful song! 💖👌 This is definitely one of my favs of Camila. I love her sweet voice and the lyrics is so relatable. I also find myself being needy and always overthinking. I think that I’m hard to love as well but it’s just that the right person will love you for who you are. Love has to be tender, easy and not complicated.

Harry Styles – Lights up

Harry Styles is back and I can’t also wait for his album too! This song is wonderful and he is so cute too. His voice is just amazing and only gets better and better. Also off topic, I really miss One Direction. I wish they will come back together one day.

Ed Sheeran ft. Camila Cabello & Cardi B – South of the border

This song was released already in Summer but the video not. I really like it. I also find Camila always so sweet and beautiful in the video. I love to hear her singing in Spanish too. This song has such a good vibe and makes me feel like dancing. It’s just very chill and relaxing.

Duncan Laurence – Love don’t hate it

“There are no boundaries, no limits when it comes to love. It’s the purest thing we have in this world and yet so many people, including myself, have to fight for it every single day”

BEAUTIFUL SONG FROM ONE OF MY FAV ARTISTS YASSSS!!! 😍 If you don’t know who Duncan is you have been living under a cave haha because I wrote so much about him. You can read all about him HERE. Long story short, he represented The Netherlands in Eurovision Song Contest this year and won. I’m still so happy that happened and would love to see it live next year. I also have concert tickets to see Duncan alive in Ziggo Dome Amsterdam in March 2020. He is such a cutie and so handsome. He is touring now through Europe. After Arcade this is his new single. I love it so much. It’s so good. It makes me dance the night away and makes me so happy. His voice is perfect. The quote you can read above is from his Instagram. He is bisexual and sexuality is still a somehow taboo in this society. This is a song about accepting yourself and who you choose to love. I love him so much.

Alfred García – Londres

Alfred García already released this song before but finally the video clip came out of this song. Londres is a beautiful song about London and it’s one my favs from Alfred. It’s amazing. I love the vintage vibes ✨. It also make me kinda nostalgic to when I saw the Spanish talent show because he wrote most of his songs of his album in the Academy. I would love to find someone to love like Alfred. I love his creativity, his passion for music and his sensibility. He has struggled with anxiety and depression and I love how open he always is about these topics because it’s so important to share. It can help yourself but also others too.

Melani – Marte (Representing Spain in Eurovision Junior Song Contest)

Melani is 12 years old and represented Spain in The Eurovision Junior Song Contest this year. She sings opera and also pop. It’s such a beautiful song with an important message. It’s about not throwing plastic in the ocean. It’s about climate change and to take care of our planet as we only have one 🌍🌊. Her voice is beautiful. Those high notes are incredible difficult to sing. She sings the song being the ocean itself.

In this video above you can watch Melani singing the song live at Junior Eurovision Song Contest in Poland last Sunday. She did so well and finally after 13 years Spain was back. I’m proud of her third place but I wished she won. I hope Spain will do well next year in the adult Eurovision too.

Melendi – Por encima de la bruma

Melendi is a well known Spanish artist and his songs always have such a beautiful message. I love this song as it’s also very emotional. It’s about women suffering from breath cancer. I wish everyone will get better as it’s a horrible sickness. Right now, I know a little child from 6 years old who is suffering from leucemia. I hope she will get better soon 🙏. This song is about being brave and transforming fear into love. The money from this song are all donations for the Spanish association for cancer.

Selena Gomez – Lose you to love myself

“We’d always go into it blindly
I needed to lose you to find me
This dance, it was killing me softly
I needed to hate you to love me, yeah“

I’m so happy Selena is back! 💞 I have always loved her songs so much. This song is so beautiful and really made me tear up. It reminds me of my first love and how much that heartbreak hurt me. I needed to loose him to find myself again. Even though I’m still struggling from time to time with loving myself, low self esteem and also anxiety I love myself more than years ago. That’s already something to be proud of. Sometimes we have to lose someone we love so much to appreciate the love for ourselves more. At the end, our relationship with ourselves is the most important one we can have. This song is just perfect. She sings so beautifully. I love it. The black and white video fits perfect by this song.

Selena Gomez – Look at her now

“She knows she’ll find love (She knows)
Only if she wants it”

Selena is also releasing her new album in January. Everyone is releasing new albums and I’m not ready for it haha because that means YEAHHH buying concert tickets! I don’t have enough money for all of them. This is the other song she released and I love it. This song makes me feel proud to be a woman who is strong and fierce. All women are beautiful. Girl power!

JP Saxe ft. Julia Michaels – If the world was ending

This song is so beautiful. Anything with Julia Michaels is just perfect. Their voices together fit so perfectly. You can feel the emotion through their singing.

OG3NE – Straight to you

The sisters from the girl group OG3NE just released their new album. They represented The Netherlands a few years ago in Eurovision. They also have won The voice of Holland and Dance, Dance, Dance. I love their voices so much. The harmonies are beautiful. They lost their mother a few years ago because of cancer and I admire their strength to carry on and sing. They are such sweethearts and deserve the best. I wish to go to a concert once. I have already shared some songs of the album which were released before which were “First clash lovers” and “Starve”. Below I will share my three favourites of the whole album.

Og3ne – One world away

“We are stronger when we stand together
We are one world away from love
We gotta chance to make a difference
We got a chance to make it right“

In this video they performed this song live. I love this song so much. I also love the lyrics so much. It’s definitely one of my favs. They sound so good together. This song makes me feel powerful and it’s just a feel good song.

Og3ne – You

Wow so beautiful. Their voices together are so magical. This song is wonderful. I could listen to it so many times and not get tired of it. I love this sound as it’s calming to listen to.

Og3ne – The end

“Dear friend can you help me
Cause I got so much shit I can’t comprehend
I’m on a cliff so high, staring at the depths so low
And I got no where else to go

I’m looking for a shelter
A place I can run to
So don’t you leave me alone
It’s been a thousand times

That’s I’ve been there too, for you
You never had to ask me though
So this is your turn now
To give whatever I need
It’s not the time to shut the door
I’m so afraid of what could be“

They sang this song live during the Summer. I think this song is beautiful and I just had to share the lyrics. It’s so relatable, honest and so pure. It’s important that friends are there for each other when we need it the most. Sometimes I find myself that I care way too much about other people than they care about me so then it was time to ask myself if that was a real friendship. I’m happy I only have authentic and people who care about me in my life right now. I don’t need fake friends. They sang so beautifully. I love their individual voices but when they sing together it’s so amazing 👌👏.

Thank you all for reading this post full of amazing music 🎵. What was your favourite song from my list? To which song or artist did you listen to in October? To which new album are you most looking forward to? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love 💕,

xoxo Christina

Life is a beautiful chaos 💗✨