Hey lovely bloggers 💕,
Today I would like to talk about the fact that I quit drinking alcohol and how it improved my life. I’m going to tell you some stories of my experiences with alcohol and how the decision of quitting drinking alcohol was the best one ever. It’s a topic that I always wanted to write about and I just need to get some things out of my mind. I’m happy to know what you think about it. Maybe, we can have a discussion in the comment section 😊.
So, I quit drinking alcohol since february 2017 because I began to take antidepressants for my anxiety disorder. A few months before that I already didn’t drink much anymore. So I guess you all know by reading my blog that I suffer from anxiety. Alcohol is also an antidepressant itself and can make you feel anxious, depressed and emotional. You also loose your concentration or get sleepy when you are drinking too much. When I was on exchange in Spain a few years ago I began to drink so much. Before this exchange time I drank also a lot but during my exchange time in Spain much more. You have to know that I never been an alcoholic just to make that clear. I wasn’t addicted to alcohol. I just drank a lot of alcohol.
I was never really drinking much alcohol, just one or two glasses of wine that’s it. It was until I went on exchange to the city of Logroño in Spain that I began to drink. This city is famous for their delicious wine and undergound restaurants called bodegas where you can eat and where they make the wine. It was the perfect combination to drink lots of wine 😂. I don’t like beer only Sol or Desesperados so I drank a lot of wine there. I remember that the first time I met some exchange students a girl said to me why I didn’t drink and then well I began to drink. It was also more than a half year ago that my ex boyfriend, my first love broke up with me. I didn’t want to be the outsider so I began to drink. Every party we were with people from all over the world drinking and playing drinking games, dancing and going to bars and clubs. I felt really socially pressured to drink.
I was always that party girl but I wasn’t that person. It was not the real me. I drank to please others but not to please myself. I remember many times that I wake up and I felt so bad that I had to vommit and couldn’t eat the whole day. I have bad memories with alcohol. I remember the times I went running and crying through the streets in Logroño and calling my ex’s name. I even called him once but of course he didn’t pick up. I was so lost. Alcohol made me feel much more anxious, increases my anxiety, made me feel a completely mess and made me feel so low. It was that time that I began to have panic attacks during the night. I was awake feeling anxious and crying the whole night until 8 o’clock and sleeping the whole day.
I didn’t go to many classes. I was supposed to be studying that semester but I only achieved 15 points out of 30 which was pretty much for the times that I partied…. I passed two subjects and the Spanish course. When I remember those times now I feel ashamed but I’ve learnt from my mistakes. Alcohol isn’t good for your health. Of course, a glass of wine or two are nice and make you feel happy but not more. Alcohol increase your anxiety, depression and just make you feel bad. I first always thought that alcohol would make me happy and in the beginning of the night it was true but at the end I was a completely mess. Every morning I regretted to drink and then in the weekends I began again. Drinking alcohol made me feel more confidence to talk to boys. At the end, it wasn’t worth it.
During this time that I take medication I sometimes have been drinking a bit of wine but just some sips. I’m afraid to even drink one glass of wine with combination of antidepressants. That’s why I decided to quit and I’m happy that I quit drinking. Of course, I miss drinking a glass of wine but maybe in the future when I quit one day my medication I can drink that glass of wine. Until then, I’m not missing out of anything. My father quit drinking alcohol for 10 years because of having acute pancreatitis. Just to be clear he didn’t got it because of drinking too much. The doctors said it would be better if he didn’t drink. Now, he can drink again one or two glasses of wine or beer.
The only thing that I hate of not drinking anything is that people seem to not respect me. My real friends understand me and don’t push me. I just went to a party this weekend from a friend and some friends of her said that I was being borring and one said it’s strange to see you not drinking and being drunk. I’m not that person anymore. I never been that party girl. I’m an extroverted introvert. I love to be alone, do my own things and enjoy music by myself. I love to go to concerts with friends. I don’t have to drink to have fun. I love to dance and sing. I had a bad moment this weekend which was that one friend said yeah you should come here with my friends. It was in the middle of the crowd and sorry no not sorry I’m not doing that. I said no so many times. I suffer from anxiety and hate crowds and yes I love going to concerts and parties but I am always near to exit. That friend went to their friends and I cried afterwards with another friend. I felt pressure and not okay. I’m sensitive and don’t like to pushed to do things I don’t want to do and when I say no they have to stop pushing me. Is it so difficult to just respect me? I remember a time that I was in the front and felt so dizzy that I almost fainted so I don’t want to experience that again.
What I just want is that people should respect my decisions. This is my life. I will never say to someone that he or she has to drink to be more fun and crazy. You just do what it’s good for you and you respect others decisions. I don’t want to make excuses all the time or feel bad or an outsider because I don’t drink. I still feel that way sometimes and sometimes I’m saying then that I can’t drink because I take a medication for my period which I do but the main reason is the medication for my anxiety. I’m not telling that to strangers or not good friends. I just want to be at peace and do what feels good to me. At the end of the day, you are all by yourself and you have to be happy about your decisions in life. I will encourage anyone to make their decisions and if anyone ever felt left out know that you are awesome the way you are. The people who drink are not cooler than the people who don’t drink. The people who bully others for that aren’t the right people. I would love to know your experiences. Do you drink alcohol? If not, do you feel like an outsider? What does alcohol make you feel?
I hope you all liked this blog post and will speak to you all in my next blog post. I will write about my second birthday haul and celebration which I had this weekend. My birthday moment is definitely over right now 😂. I also will create many Summer related posts for the upcoming months. My blog is going to have a Summer theme yeahhh 🌞❤
Much love 💕,