Music of May ๐ŸŽถ

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

I can’t wait to share you all the good music which was released in May ๐ŸŽถ. I’m going to share Spanish music as well as other amazing pop/house/kpop songs.

Panic! At The Disco – High hopes

“Had to have high high hopes for a living
Shooting for the stars when I couldnโ€™t make a killing
Didnโ€™t have a dime but I always had a vision
Always had high high hopes
Had to have high high hopes for a living
Didnโ€™t know how but I always had a feeling
I was gonna be that one in a million
Always had high high hopes

This song was released last year but it was just this month that I heard it on a video and also on the radio. I love Panic! At The Disco and this song is just so amazing. I just heard it again this week in Spain and was dancing like crazy at home. THIS SONG MAKES ME SO HAPPPPPY ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ƒ It gives me good vibes and what an amazing lyrics! It’s good to have dreams in life and high hopes. I truly believe we can achieve anything we want in life. The universe always has our back โœจ.

Shawn Mendes – If I can’t have you

Shawn Mendes only makes good music like this song. I love this song! It has a nice beat and his voice is just beautiful. I also love the clip and it just fits perfectly to the song.

Ed Sheeran & Justin Bieber – I don’t care

“We at a party we don’t wanna be at
Tryna talk, but we can’t hear ourselves
Read your lips, I’d rather kiss ’em right back
With all these people all around
I’m crippled with anxiety
But I’m told it’s where I’m supposed to be
You know what? It’s kinda crazy ’cause I really don’t mind
And you make it better like that

This is such a catchy song! ๐Ÿ˜ I love Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber together. They sound very good together. I also love the random photoshop effects in the video. I also find the lyrics very relatable. I have had times that I was in a party and didn’t want to be there. Also struggling from anxiety makes it harder to enjoy a party. It’s important that they raise awareness about mental health in music because there are so many people from all different ages who listen to it. They will feel less alone when they hear more people are suffering with it.

OG3NE – Starve

“If youโ€™re hungry for love 
Someone who’s the air in your lungs
Someone that you know you can finally trust with your scars
If youโ€™re shaken and cold
And you need somebody to hold
And you are hungry for someone
Who take you as you are

I won’t let you starve”

OG3NE is a beautiful girl group from The Netherlands. These are three beautiful sisters. I love their songs and their beautiful harmony between these three voices. They won The voice of Holland a few years ago and also represented The Netherlands at Junior Song Contest in 2007 and Eurovision Song Contest in 2017. They ended at the 11th place. They sang the beautiful song “Lights and Shadows” which was about their sick mom who later that year died of cancer. I love their songs such as this new song. It’s an amazing song who tells us that there will always be someone who will love us for who we are.

Alvaro Soler – La libertad

I love Alvaro Soler so much! ๐Ÿ’— All his songs are amazing and beautiful. Libertad means freedom in Spanish. The videoclip is beautiful and this song makes me happy. It’s just such a bop. I can’t wait to see him live in concert again. His music makes me happy and it’s good music to dance on too.

Aitana – Nada sale mal

I already mentioned Aitana in other blog posts such as in this blog post. I know Aitana from the Spanish talent show Operaciรณn Triunfo. She became the second finalist. I’m so proud of her and how successful she is now in Spain and also in Latin America. This song is so catchy and I really like it. She is also such a sweet and beautiful girl, just look in her eyes.

Aitana – Con la miel en los labios

Aitana is releasing her new album in June which I will share next month. This is one song of her album. I love balads so much and especially when Aitana sings them. This song is BEAUTIFUL so beautiful ๐Ÿ˜. I love the piano so much too. It’s such a delicate and honest song. She sings so pure with so much emotion. This song is about a passed love. Love changes but never extinguishes. Con la miel en los labios means with the honey on the lips. Aitana loves honey ๐Ÿฏ so it’s a nice name for her new song.

Amaia – El Relรกmpago

I know Amaia like Aitana from the Spanish talent show Operaciรณn Triunfo too. Amaia was the one who won the talent show in 2017. I love her first single because it’s just her. This videoclip and song is her essence. Amaia is just being herself. Her voice is like an angel ๐Ÿ˜‡ . I love the visuals too in the videoclip. It’s just so beautiful and magical ๐Ÿงšโ€โ™€๏ธ

Avicii ft. Agnes, Vargas & Lagola – Though love

โ—ขโ—ค Avicii forever

In June the family of Tim released his postum album. He died a year ago because of suicide. I miss him so much. I’m so thankful that I went once to one of his concerts which I will never ever forget. This is one of his songs in his new album. This song is so good!!! It’s one of my fav songs now. The melody is amazing and the sound of the violins are so amazing too. It makes me emotional to listen to your music. I love you so much and I’m so thankful for your beautiful music. Your music always makes me happy and also guide me through the bad times in life. You will never be forgotten. You are a legend and your legacy is forever ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ™โœจ. I love this song and all your music so much.

All proceeds of the postum album called Tim will go to the recently established Tim Bergling Foundation, a non-profit that helps prevent mental illness and suicide. I think it’s such a beautiful way to help others in need. Mental health awareness and support is so important.

Kygo & Chelsea Cutler – Not ok

I love Kygo so much. He is definitely one of my favourite dj’s together with Avicii of course. This song is amazing and I also love the lyrics video which is simple & beautiful.

TVXQ! (MAX Solo) – Closer

So I came across this song because of being a fan of Duncan Laurence, the winner of Eurovision for The Netherlands. I wrote all about him in this and this blog post. Duncan Laurence is an amazing singer-songwriter and produced and composed together with some other producers this song. I know many of my readers who are KPOP fans will love this song too. I love it and I love to discover more nice songs! It has a nice beat and yeah music has no boundaries. Even if you don’t know the language you can sing along. Music unites people ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŽถ. That’s the power of music.

Christina Perri – Tiny victories

“Some days I look in the mirror and I think the meanest things
all the meanest things
some days Iโ€™m holding my self worth up
by a string
a string
but everyday that I donโ€™t hide myself away
to me,
is a tiny victory”

Christina Perri is amazing. This song is so pure and beautiful. I also can relate so much to the lyrics. Self love takes a lot of strength. I also say mean things to myself and feel bad about myself. The day or moment that I’m not doing that is definitely a tiny victory. Every victory counts. We are just trying our best. Don’t be hard on yourself. We will love each other every day a bit more than yesterday. We are all in this together ALWAYS! ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’•

Michela – Chameleon (Malta – Eurovision 2019)

I love this song so much from Michela who represented Malta for Eurovision this year. It’s a catchy song, has a nice beat and has a great melody. Michela is a great singer too and just 18 years old. I also love the tropical vibes in the music video. It just fits perfectly to the song.

Karol G – Ocean

I love this song of Karol G. Her genre is reggeaton and trap but this sounds different and I like it. She sings about how we are going to show the world what love is. It’s a sweet song. I also love the clip which is made on the beach. The ocean is my fav place on the earth ๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŒž.

Lola Indigo – New album Akelarre

I already wrote about Lola Indigo in this blog post. I also know her from Operaciรณn Triunfo. She’s such a good dancer and also a great singer. She released her first album called Akelarre which is related to the Witches’ Sabbath (the place where witches hold their meetings). My favourite songs of her are “Amor veneno”, “Game over”, “Maldiciรณn”, “Mujer bruja” and Ya no quiero nรก”. Her album is awesome ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™€๏ธ I love all her songs. She left the first in the talent show and is now so successful in Spain. I wish her all she deserves. This project that she has created is just awesome.

Lola Indigo – Amor veneno

Love this song!

Lola Indigo – Game over

Such a good song and I love how she used the words Nintendo, Mario, Game boy and PlayStation! It’s awesome and so catchy.

Lola Indigo ft. Lalo Ebratt – Maldiciรณn

The clip is awesome and the song has such a nice beat!

Lola Indigo ft. Mala Rodrรญguez – Mujer bruja

THIS SONG IS SOOOOO GOOD! I love to see her dancing and singing. Mujer bruja means witch woman. It’s one of my favourite songs of her.

Lola Indigo – Ya no quiero ya nรก

This is my favourite song of Mimi (Lola Indigo). ASDFGHJKL it’s just the best! This was also her first single. The song is amazing, she dances so good and omg it’s just so good!!! Ya no quiero yรก means I don’t want anything anymore. She also sings I’m not your baby, boy.

Thank you all for reading this blog post and listening to my music list of May ๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽง๐ŸŽผ. Which song was your favourite? What is your favourite artist? Which song did you listen to in May? Let me know in the comments lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

May favourites ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒž

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

May was a great month where I spend much time with my family and also with my friends. In this post I’m going to tell you about my favourites in May such as stationery shopping, my early birthday celebration with my friends, celebrating Mother’s Day in The Netherlands, The Netherlands winning Eurovision๐ŸŽ™๏ธand much more. I hope you will all like it.

Things I did with my family ๐Ÿ‘ช:

The Netherlands winning Eurovision Song Contest 2019 ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ ๐ŸŽถ

For me this was the most important event which happened in May. I wrote a whole blog post about it which you can read here. Duncan Laurence represented The Netherlands with the beautiful song Arcade, a story about hope and loss. I’m so happy to have experienced this feeling of seeing my country winning Eurovision with my mother. It’s just such a beautiful feeling full of emotion, happiness and excitement. I will never ever forget this night. The 18th of May will be forever in my mind. He wrote history. After 44 years The Netherlands finally won Eurovision. Now, it’s time for Spain to win too! I can’t wait to see Eurovision live next year.

Thank you Duncan for making me so proud of you, your music and just everything! I love you so much ๐Ÿ’• I already also bought tickets for his concert in Ziggo Dome in Amsterdam in March 2020. He is going to do a tour this year in The Netherlands and in Europe. He will sing in the greatest venue which is The Ziggo Dome next year. I’m so excited to go to his concert with my friend! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽถ

Celebrating my early birthday with my family ๐Ÿ‘ช

I had a great afternoon celebrating my early birthday with my family in May! ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽ I celebrated it earlier because of going to Spain. We ate delicious apple pie ๐Ÿฐ from the Hema and went to the park. My daddy put whipping cream in the mouth of my niece hahaha it was so funny ๐Ÿ˜‚ I got some nice presents and cards which I didn’t open until my birthday. I’m going to share that with you all in my birthday haul. I love to save the gifts and cards because they mean a lot to me. Especially a handwritten letter means the world because a person takes the time to write you something personal. Thank you all so much! I love my family so much ๐Ÿ’–

Celebrating Mother’s Day ๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒท

We celebrated Mother’s Day in The Netherlands ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ with my family (my parents, my brother, his wife and her brother and mother). It was so nice to be all together. I gave my mother a beautiful flower bouquet with different flowers and colours. I love Greetz.nl so much! The service and quality is amazing ๐Ÿ˜. I also gave her a handmade card.

My brother Rafael gave her beautiful yellow roses, Milka chocolate and a card. My other brother Edward gave her also beautiful pink, violet flowers and a card. It was a beautiful surprise to get it when we were eating. The food was so delicious! ๐Ÿ˜‹ We ate meat, salad, potatoes, bread, fruits, ice cream and much more. What I love the most was the delicious Spanish tortilla de patata which the mother of Verรณnica made.

Family time in the Cruquius ๐Ÿ’—

Me, my mother, the brother and mother of Verรณnica went an afternoon to the Cruquius. That’s near to my house. I went with the bike and felt a bit dizzy afterwards because there was some wind. I’m not used to go biking anymore. We enjoyed a delicious lunch. I love bread with kroket which is typical Dutch food! I also loved the heart candies. It was great weather. I went with my bike ๐Ÿšฒ and we also walked. Afterwards, we took the ferry boat to go the Molenplas which is the park near to my house. We also saw the lovely ๐Ÿฎ cows. We had such a nice time together!

Sunny days in the garden ๐ŸŒž

I love to be in my garden in The Netherlands. It’s nice to enjoy the sunshine there with my mother. In Spain we don’t have a home with a garden just an apartment. I just love to have a garden so much ๐Ÿ’• It’s relaxing to enjoy the sunshine and just be present that moment. I love to read there too. I was reading in that moment the poetry book “Moon theory” from Robert M. Drake which is beautiful.

Eating delicious ice cream ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿจ

I ate delicious ice cream with mamita during a day we went to the shopping centre near to my house. I love ice cream with sprinkles. I always ate this ice cream when I was younger and I still do it. It brings me so much good vibes and it is so yummy mmmm! ๐Ÿ˜

Stationery shopping ๐Ÿ›’๐Ÿ›๏ธ

I went to my favourite shop called Action in The Netherlands and bought a lot of nice stationery. I’m so addicted to buy stationery. I love everything and I can’t wait to use it to write beautiful letters to my pen pals. I bought some amazing stickers, sticky notes, pens, washi tape and cards to make. I also loved the awesome quotes and thoughts about astrology and the universe which I bought ๐ŸŒŒโœจ

Trip to Spain ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ

Right now, I’m in Spain since last Tuesday with my mother. It was an early flight which I always hate but we survived it haha. I don’t like flying at 7 o’clock since I didn’t sleep anything that night and felt dead lol. However, I’m always happy to be in Spain. I can’t wait for Summer time to travel with my friends, go surfing ๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ, go to the beach ๐Ÿ–๏ธ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒด๐ŸŒž and just have fun. It was really hot last weekend like 34 degrees. Right now, it’s around 20 degrees but there’s some wind so it feels cold. The weather is really crazy. The nights are also cold like 7 degrees. In The Netherlands it’s stormy now. I’m sure Summer time will come soon.

Things I did with my friends ๐Ÿ’•:

Celebrating my early birthday at Hart Beach ๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒž

I had such a great time with my friends three weeks ago at my favourite restaurant Hart Beach. I was anxious to go because I didn’t sleep enough because of feeling so excited and so much emotions because the night before was the final of Eurovision. I love this surf ๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ restaurant so much. I also went surfing with Hart Beach in the past. I can’t wait to go surfing again. I’m thankful for my lovely friends and the lovely presents they gave me. I love the food and service so much here. Alohaaaa pura vida vibes! ๐Ÿ’—โœŒ๏ธI can’t wait to go back.

I had a children’s menu and it was much food and so good! I loved the chicken nuggets, salad and potatoes. My friends ate another children’s menu with hamburger, some vega food, sweet potatoes and salad. They have such good food to choose from. I also enjoyed a delicious sunset smoothie with papaya, mango, coco ๐Ÿฅฅ, and apple. As dessert we enjoyed a delicious pie and dame blanche which is vanilla ice cream with warm chocolate sauce and whipped cream. It’s my favourite dessert ever ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿจ. I always choose that whenever I go to a restaurant.

It was really cold so unfortunately we couldn’t sit outside. Almost every time I go to the beach in Holland it isn’t that great weather ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ–๏ธ Hopefully, next time better. I really enjoyed spending time with them all and seeing my friends again. Having family and friends is so important in life because they make you happy. I’m so grateful to have all these good people in life who always cheer me up and with who I can have fun with. I love you all SO much! ๐Ÿ˜˜

My besties birthday party ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‚

My besties birthday was on the 21th of May but she celebrated it Friday the 24th of May. I was also anxious to go to this party because sometimes I feel a pressure to drink when I don’t want. I don’t take antidepressants anymore for my anxiety since it didn’t help anymore. I take sometimes a benzo. However, I just don’t want to drink much alcohol anymore. I also feel sometimes anxious in groups of people I don’t know.

I had a great time and was happy that I went. I had some good talks with a nice girl from her class. It felt great to speak up about my bullying experience since I’m not alone in this. I also had a great time talking to her family which I know very well. I only drank a bit of wine ๐Ÿท which is okay and there was delicious food such as nachos with guacamole, bread with aioli and a delicious pie called mon-sou made by her girlfriend ๐ŸŽ‚ It was a pie with cherries ๐Ÿ’, biscuits and whipping cream. I loved it!

Concert of Alfred Garcia ๐ŸŽถ ๐ŸŽธ

There is no better way to celebrate your birthday with a good concert. Last Friday before my birthday I went to the concert of Alfred Garcia with my good Spanish friend ๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’• It was awesome! He is such an amazing artist. He is humble, honest and sensitive. He is different than other artists and that’s what I love the most about him. Some may call him strange but I call that being authentic. Being authentic in a world where society constantly tries to change you is such a beautiful thing to be. He is an amazing singer-songwriter.

I love all his songs of the album 1016 and of course I have his album at home. Buying the music is really important for an artist. My favourite songs of him are definitely “Por si te hace falta” where I cried and felt so happy to have my friend by my side, “Londres”, “Wonder”, “Que nos sigan las luces”, “Et vull veure” and “De la tierra hasta marte”. All his songs are beautiful though.

Thank you Alfred for being such an amazing artist ๐Ÿ’—. We met Joe who was the jury in Operaciรณn Triunfo, the talentshow where Alfred was part of. Your concert was amazing. He was also sick that day but your voice was beautiful as always. I’m thankful for your music who always make me feel so many emotions. Thank you for being always so supportive, speaking up about mental illnesses, and making this world a better place to live in ๐ŸŒ. I’m thankful to live in a world where there exists such amazing artists like you. Thank you for everything. I’m sad we couldn’t meet you but hopefully we will meet you soon. Stay the way you are ๐ŸŒŸ I love you loads ๐Ÿ’•.

Another awesome thing of May:

Taking a bath with a Lush bath bomb ๐Ÿ›€

I bought a nice Lush bath bomb online and used it in The Netherlands since we don’t have a bath in Spain. It was the bath bomb called Groovy Kind Of Love full of beautiful colours ๐ŸŒˆ. It’s amazing for a hippie girl like me. I loved the colours in the beginning. However, the colour which lasted was pretty ugly haha some yellow bath ๐Ÿ˜‚. The bath bomb consisted of rose, bergamot and ylang ylang oils. It was really relaxing. I love to take a bath. That’s what self care is for me.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. What were your favourites from my list? What did you enjoy in May? Could you already enjoy Spring time in your country? ๐ŸŒž Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Today it’s my 26th birthday! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽโœจ๐ŸŽˆ Forever young yeahhh!

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY (First of June) OMGGG! I’m getting old ๐Ÿ‘ต haha no kidding I’m just turning 26 but it feels like I’m already almost 30 or 100 lol. I have so much back pain lately. I really need to do some yoga and go swimming. It’s still 4 years till I’m 30 but yeah time is ticking away and not standing still. This blog post will be about my birthday and what I have learned this year. June is one of my favourite months because it’s also almost Summer which is my fav season ever! Summer vibes aloha! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ Summer time and the living is easy as they say. I’m in Spain again since Tuesday so I’m very happy. It’s 30 degrees right now! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒž I hope I will stay this happy until the heatwave ๐Ÿ”ฅ come ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ญ Send help.

Before I will tell you all what I have learned this year I have to admit you something. I wrote this blog post this week but right now I’m adding this text. I’m crying right now in my bed ๐Ÿ˜ข as it’s the middle of the night. I feel strange to admit this because it feels like you have to be happy on your birthday. Birthdays come with so many expectations which I hate. I love to celebrate it with my friends and family. I just don’t like that I’m thinking now that I don’t have my life together. It’s just hard to live in a world where you feel more than the average person as I’m also a highly sensitive person.

I have good friends but everyone is living their lives while I’m just standing still because of being anxious. I feel like I can be myself more on the internet when I blog than in real life. I’m always hiding myself because of being bullied when I was younger. Somehow it still hurts me. I’m a very open person and love to be honest but I’m afraid to open up nowadays to people who I don’t know well. I don’t want to get hurt again or experience a broken heart again. I guess I just needed this cry and vent it all out. I’m always here for you all too ๐Ÿ’— I wish we could all meet each other soon. I need to heal myself and my heart. I need to find more people who understands me and who I can be friends with. It sucks to have so many good internet friends which don’t live in the same country as me.

I went to a lot of concerts this year which I’m so thankful for. I love seeing my favourite artists live. Music means the world to me ๐ŸŽถ I love singing as I used to sing in a choir for 11 years. Hopefully I will do something again with singing in my life this year. I need it. Singing makes me feel free, release my emotions and just makes me so happy. Music is life. I went to the concert of Spanish singer-songwriter Sofia Ellar with my friend Maria in Spain. I also went to the concert of Pablo Alboran in June, Hombres G, Celtas Cortos, Operaciรณn Triunfo and Chenoa with my mother during the week of fiestas in Valladolid in September. When I came back in Holland I went to see Vance Joy live with my best friend in Amsterdam. Last night I enjoyed a beautiful concert of Alfred Garcia which I know from the Spanish talentshow Operaciรณn Triunfo. It was amazing to go to this concert and have fun with my friend. It was an unforgettable concert! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽถ Such a great way to start my birthday! ๐ŸŽ‰

I learned this year that my good and real friends and family will always be there for me no matter what. Distance doesn’t matter when the friendship is real. I’m also thankful for all the old and new friends I made in the blogging community, mental health community, Yoga Girl community and pen pal world. I’m so thankful for all the support, love and inspiration I get every day. My life wouldn’t be the same without you all. My biggest wish is to meet you all and hug you all in person ๐Ÿ’• I’m so thankful to know you all. It definitely makes me feel less alone when I’m struggling and also makes me feel more inspired and happy.

Beautiful snail mail from my pen pals
I always get beautiful pen pal letters from Sophia and Rosie โค

I love writing ๐Ÿ“ so much as it’s such a good tool to let everything go. I love to blog and use my insta to spread awareness of important topics such as feminism, mental health, self love, self care, and much more. Some topics are still a taboo so it’s important to spread awareness about them and make people feel less alone. I wish to one day be able to maybe write a book of poetry or something. That would be a dream coming true ๐ŸŒŸ. I wish to be able to connect with more people and inspire more people. Most of all I just wish to spread love, happiness and make this world a better place to live in ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’—

A poem I made some years ago

This year I began to read books again. I was only reading some magazines before of psychology but I also wanted to read again like I used to do during my childhood. I missed the feeling of reading and being in another world. I read some amazing books this year such as “The sun and her flowers” by Rupi Kaur, “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho, “Am I normal yet?” by Holly Bourne and “Turtles all the way down” by John Green. I’m now reading some other books and I will post a review when I’m finished. Reading also makes me feel less alone and makes me happy. There are so many good books out there to be read so hopefully this new year ahead will be a good reading year for me. I’m a slow reader but I will get there hahaha ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ“š

I also learned this year to face some of my fears. I still have a lot of fears to face but I’m getting there step by step even though it’s hard when you suffer from anxiety. I still have a hard time asking for help when I need it. I feel like I can’t ask for help because it makes me feel stupid or weak when it isn’t true. Sometimes we bottle everything up which makes us feel worse. At the end it’s better to let everything out even though it’s scarry. I went to the dentist in Spain for an appointment and they told me all my 4 wisdom teeth need to get out. I’m still so scared as hell to do this one day ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ญ. I know I have to because otherwise I will get problems since they have cavities. I just don’t know how to survive the anxiety about this.

I also am still having a hard time finding a job in Spain. However, last week I got an email for an interview for a shop but I couldn’t be there as I was in Holland. I also did an interview in April for an internship in the best hotel in Spain. Unfortunately, I never got an email back. I guess it’s because I can’t do an internship since I’m not studying anymore. Anyway, I did the interview and that’s still an achievement as well because I was so anxious ๐Ÿ’ช I keep applying to some interesting jobs I see.

4 pictures made into a collage about my internship interview

This year I learned to celebrate every little and big achievement. They all mean a lot to me. Having anxiety makes life even harder so overcoming a fear is a big deal for me. I have to be proud of myself and not be hard on myself. Every year with my birthday expectations comes that I don’t have my life together but who cares. I’m just living each day and making the best of it. I will hopefully achieve my dreams even though it takes time and pacience โœจ

I have also learned that I need to travel more to unknown places. I went to Granada again last Summer with my mother for the third time. I loved it ๐Ÿ˜ It was great to see my friend again and enjoy the beach. I also love to discover new places such as the surfing village Somo in the north of Spain near to Santander. I went there in September with my mother and we enjoyed it so much. I can’t wait to go surfing there this Summer as I didn’t surf for many years. I really miss it ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ. I also traveled to Leรณn with my mother in March. It’s a beautiful city just one hour away from Valladolid. The tapas were delicious and the cathedral was so beautiful with all the stained glass windows. It was our first time in a spa hotel ๐Ÿฉ which was so relaxing. I loved the swimming pool and whirlpool ๐Ÿ›€. I can’t wait to do that again. You just gotta treat yourself.

One of the most beautiful moments of my 25th year was the wedding of my brother with his Spanish wife. The Spanish wedding was really a big moment of last Summer ๐Ÿ’’ ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿคต๐Ÿ‘ฐ. It was beautiful to be there and to witness the love of two people. It was amazing to be all together with the family and celebrate that love. It was an unforgettable day. Maybe one day I will have that fairytale aswell ๐Ÿงšโ€โ™‚๏ธ even though I believe that the most important relationship you can have in your life is with yourself. Loving yourself and respecting yourself is so important. You are already whole before you are in love with someone. Always remember that.

For the rest, I also enjoyed some time with my friends in Spain and in The Netherlands. We had fun and ate delicious tapas together. I also saw my whole family a lot. I love to see everyone especially my little niece. She slept at our house for the first time in March. It was a lot of fun and it was also tiring ๐Ÿ˜‚. It’s great that our family is growing. I also went for the first time in my life to a cremation of a girl who died because of leucemia from my choir. It was a beautiful ceremony. It was heartbreaking too ๐Ÿ’”.

I have a fear of death so it was also again overcoming a fear of mine to go. I also went for the first time to a tulip flower fields in The Netherlands with my mother which was so beautiful to experience! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒท I also swam a lot last Summer and I’m going to do the same this year. Swimming is so good for your health. I love the outdoor swimming pools in Spain so much ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ๐ŸŠ

So it was a beautiful year with ups and downs like every year have. I’m still on my way of achieving my dreams and hopefully I will make them all come true โœจ I hope you will all be in this journey with me and never ever leave me. I will be there for you all too of course. We are all in this together ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’• Let’s rise each other up, be kind to each other and love each other ๐ŸŒ . That’s what the world needs more of.

If one thing I know for sure is that Iโ€™ll always try to make this world a better place to live in because we live on such a beautiful planet! I love La Pachamama! ๐ŸŒ

I wish you all peace, love & happiness! Forever young, wild and free! โœŒ๏ธ We are all childs of the universe. This life is a gift โœจ Thank you all for reading this blog post. I will speak to you all in my next post. In my next blog post I will share more pictures of my birthday, what I did on my birthday and the presents and cards I got from my family and friends ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ’Œ.

My mother gave me this beautiful balloon for my birthday ๐ŸŽˆ It says congratulations Chris without the H haha like they say it in Spanish ๐Ÿ˜‚ Purple is one of my fav colours ๐Ÿ’œ

Love you all so much ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’–,

xoxo Christina

We humans complicate life when it’s really simple

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

Before I will share with you a post about my birthday which is this Saturday ๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽŠ I want to share something else. It’s a long time since I didn’t write a post about a topic and just rambled about it. I missed that. My last posts were only about music haha because music is life ๐ŸŽถ I like to write about anything. This post will be about that humans complicate life when life is really simple.

I was thinking about this when I was laying in the sunshine in my garden in The Netherlands last week ๐ŸŒž The sun was shining brightly. It was 20 degrees and a blue sky. I just felt happy and peaceful sunbathing in the garden with my mother. I heard some birds whispering and there was some wind but it was okay. Feeling the sunshine on my skin was just perfect on that moment ๐Ÿ‘Œโ˜€๏ธ I was thinking about how amazing life is when you just don’t think of anything and just enjoy the moment. To be present is so important for a calm mind.

I begin to think about how beautiful nature is and how we human complicate everything in life so much. It only brings us more negativity and bad vibes in life. Nature is just there and don’t want to compete against each other. It grows and blossom. We have to do the same. Humans always look up to other people and that makes them feel bad about themselves. I know I do it too. Comparing myself makes me feel worse. It feels like I won’t ever achieve my dreams or be as beautiful or enough as that person over there.

Also we often don’t want to take the first step in a friendship or relationship because of our ego. We wait until that person takes the first move. It’s better to wait or that’s what they say. We can wait our whole life and not get into that relationship because of ourselves because we are always complicating things. We are creating drama when life is easy. I know of a time I was with my choir singing in UK and one boy of the guest family told me I’m a drama queen hahah sorry I am such a person ๐Ÿ˜‚ It’s better now though. When we miss someone we want them to call or text us. It’s okay to take that first step. I think we have to trust and believe in ourselves more and show our feelings. Society tells us to bottle everything up and be emotionless. It isn’t good for you and you know that.

Tell your loved ones more often that you miss them and love them because that’s how you feel ๐Ÿ’• They have the right to know it. Do it before it’s too late. We know life isn’t forever but yet we live like it will go on forever. I know I do it myself too as I survive each day. Deep down I know time is ticking away and that time is not coming back. We can’t save time or pause the time. It’s not standing still. We have to enjoy our time and spend it doing things we love to do with the people we love.

Why do we complicate life quote

I say so many things to myself that I want to do and I don’t do it because of fear or judgment. I know many of us make false promises to ourselves. If we can’t commit to our promises then how are we ever be able to commit to people’s promises?! We have to do it for ourselves first. Practice what you preach. I’m also so good in helping other people and giving them advice but I fail to follow my own advices. I fail to ask for help because I’m afraid others see me as a weak person or one who can’t have her life together on her own. You see, we are the ones complicating life when things could be easier.

It’s much easier to just let all these thoughts go and just live our lives on our own way. If we don’t like our studies, job or whatever we have the right to change that and not complicate things in life. We can change, grow and do something we love. I’m a believer that deep down in our heart we know exactly what we want to do in life and how to full our time in life. We just have to find it. It can take some time but we will get there. I hope to find it too. We also have to be more in nature and learn from it. It learns us to enjoy our time in life, worry less and know that everything will slowly be better. Bad times won’t last forever nor will the good times. Everything always is constantly changing including ourselves. Seasons don’t come all at once. They come slowly and that’s how we have to live our lives.

I hope we can all live this way instead of complicating our lives. I know it’s difficult and things get our way. As I suffer from anxiety I find it hard to switch my thoughts as sometimes I just can’t. Nature calms me down. What calms me down the most is swimming in the sea. Also hearing the waves crashing on the shore is the most calming and healing thing ever. We all have something in our lives which calms us down and make us happy. It could be anything from books, music to going to the teatre. Enjoy your time on life and spread kindness, love and happiness. Stay away from drama.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope it made sense and you all liked it. Do you think we complicate our own lives? What could we do instead in order to live a happy and simple life? What are your thoughts on this topic? Let me know lovelies ๐Ÿ’–.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Duncan Laurence from The Netherlands won Eurovision Song Contest 2019 with the song Arcade!!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽถ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐ŸŽ™๏ธ

OMGGGG HI LOVELIES ๐Ÿ’•,

I’m so excited. I just can’t hide it. I’m about to loose control and I think I like it hahah ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŽถ. I just needed to write this blog post because I feel so emotional and so excited since Saturday night. I felt it already these months when I heard the song Arcade. This blog post will about how I experienced one of the best nights in my life which I will never ever forget. I will write about the victory of The Netherlands winning Eurovision Song Contest 2019 after 44 years. I will also share more about who Duncan is as a person and artist.

I’m such a eurofan and I’ve always been. I love Eurovision Song Contest so much. It’s my favourite music event of the year. I’m always looking forward to it. I’m always most looking forward to the songs of The Netherlands and Spain. I also love to hear the songs of other countries. I’m into pop, indie, latin music, some house music, classic and choir music which I used to sing in my choir and I just love music so much. It makes me the happiest person on earth ๐ŸŒŽ๐Ÿ˜. Going to a concert and seeing your favourite artist live is just the best thing ever. Meeting them in person and talking with them is even better. Getting a picture with them is just the best too.

I get inspired by many artists and what I find the most important thing of an artist is that they are authentic, stay true to themselves and can be vulnerable. So, the first time I heard that Duncan Laurence was going to represent The Netherlands this year I was like who?! Who is that? Normally popular and famous artists of The Netherlands go to Eurovision. Last year Waylon went and in 2014 The Common Linnets went which were Ilse DeLange together with Waylon. They song a beautiful song which ended at the second place. The song was a lovely country song called “Calm after the storm.”

The Common Linnets – Calm after the storm (Eurovision Song Contest 2014)

So first in January they said that Duncan Laurence was going to represent The Netherlands. I saw some videos of him singing in The Voice of Holland on Youtube and was already impressed by his beautiful voice. He reached the semi-finals. He had as coach Ilse DeLange.

Duncan Laurence – Sing (The blind auditions of The Voice of Holland of 2014)

Then I also listened to the video below which is especially made as an assignment for the Rock Academy. After singing in the Voice of Holland he went to the Rock Pop Academy in Tilburg. He made his own version of the song “Stolen Dance” by Milky Chance. It’s one of my favourite songs and hearing it with Duncan’s voice gave me goosebumps and makes me cry every time ๐Ÿ˜ญ. His voice is so pure and so beautiful. I could listen all day and all night to it ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽถ

Another video I found on Youtube of a song he wrote called “Come back Home”

He is such an amazing singer-songwriter. I’m really so impressed. He went through a hard time during his school years because he got bullied. He got bullied because of being different. He wore braces, had glasses and a different body size. He found his passion of music through this experience. He could be himself when he was making music at home and also in the Rock Pop Academy in Tilburg. Music was his safe place where he could be his self. He also told in some interviews how he was covered in his insecurities. He was afraid to be open and vulnerable.

Writing his song Arcade in The Rock Pop Academy in Tilburg

He also said that it is important to not build a wall. It reminds myself of my own experience with bullying. I build a wall and I still haven’t break it fully like it still influences me as a person when someone is rude to me. I think often when I hear a stranger laughing that it’s about me. I still have to break this wall just like Duncan did. The most beautiful words of him during an interview in Tel Aviv in Israel where these ones:

“Don’t build a wall. Don’t focus on the ones who don’t like you, stick to the ones who like you and love you and inpire you. I tried to change myself and focused too much on the ones who didn’t like me.”

I so agree with what he said because it’s just so true. Whenever I’m with my family or good friends I feel happy because they love me for who I’m and accept me. Those are the people who you need in life and not the toxic ones. Being bullied isn’t our fault. Most of the time the bullies are insecure themselves. I wrote about my experience of bullying in this blog post. He also said that with his music he wants to be the voice for those who have a soul which is damaged by others. He is going to tell their stories and let us see that we aren’t alone. He such a bubbly, beautiful and humble pereson that I tear up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ญ

Ilse DeLange was his coach in The Voice of Holland and always had contact with Duncan after he participated in this talentshow. Two years ago he was writing the song “Arcade”. He put that song together with other songs in a Dropbox file. Ilse heard this song and was impressed. A few months ago before Eurovision began she called him on a Sunday morning and asked him if he wanted to represent The Netherlands this year. The whole delegation of The Netherlands was impressed by this song. Of course he said YEAHHHH and then the adventure began. I don’t want to repeat myself because I already told a lot about this song in other posts like in this post. There I sang my own cover of Arcade ๐ŸŽถ.

โ€œโ€˜Arcadeโ€™ is about a lost love. And hoping for that love to return. But it doesnโ€™t. All the emotion, rawness, bitterness, angriness or happiness or hope that comes within that. Thatโ€™s what I tried to capture in โ€˜Arcadeโ€™. It is indeed a story about myself, about a love that I once lost when I was younger.โ€

Duncan lost someone very special in his life. This woman only turned 40 years old. She was hoping that her love came back but he didn’t. She stayed in love with her loved one until she died. Duncan wrote this song about that story. The song, lyrics, melody everything describes these real feelings and emotions. It’s so honest and vulnerable just WOW. He is naked in the clip and you can see his butt haha which is very beautiful indeed.

Duncan Laurence – Arcade (Official Music Video for Eurovision Song Contest 2019 in Israel)

โ€œWe tried to capture the vulnerability of a human being. The most vulnerable you can be is naked. Being completely nude leaves you all vulnerable in that massive water world, with the surface representing the hope and everything you long for. The struggle, the fight that comes with it to get there. That is what we try to capture.โ€

Since I listened to this I have had winner vibes. I knew this song could win because it’s the best song I’ve heard. I get so emotional and have goosebumps all the time I listen to this song. I’m even thinking now to get a tattoo with something of the lyrics of this song. My favourite sentence is: “Loving you is a loosing game.” I’m afraid of needles so don’t know if I will get a tattoo but this just sticks in my head. Since he released his song he was number one in the bookmakers and that didn’t change.

I watched everything from Eurovision such as all his interviews which were so nice to see. I watched the first semi-final of Eurovision last week even though he didn’t had to sing. He was singing in the second femi-final which was last thursday on the 16th of May. It was incredible and I had to cry so much. My father only watched that song with me because he doesn’t like Eurovision. I always watch it with my mother. Of course he passed through the finals which was last Saturday the 18th of May. I was so happy when they said The Netherlands as second name to pass. Normally they say it almost at the end.

Duncan performing his song Arcade during the second semi-final of Eurovision Song Contest 2019
Singing Arcade during the second semi-final

He sings Arcade every time so beautiful and every time it’s different. I like that so much because you can feel the emotion. He really feels it at that moment and sings it from his heart. During the final he had to sing at the 12th place and it was even better and more beautiful than in the semi-finals. It’s just incredible how good and beautiful he sings. I feel his emotion all the time when he sings it ๐Ÿ’•. We all feel it. We can all relate to this story.

THE FINAL PERFORMANCE!!!!
The Netherlands – Live performance of Arcade from Duncan Laurence

I was so nervous and anxious this whole week too and couldn’t sleep well. It even felt like I had to sing hahah instead of Duncan who always stayed calm. I was just so excited of thinking that he could win ๐Ÿ˜‚. During the jury votes I was getting so nervous. I was happy when we got 12 points from Portugal, Sweden, France, Israel, Lithuania and Latvia. Thank you so much! Sweden won the jury votes but everyting could change during the televotes. They begin with the last country and told every country how much televotes it got. The Netherlands got 261 which made them first. I was already so excited but there was only one country left to tell them their points which was Sweden. If they got more points than The Netherlands they would have won. Duncan was so nervous and me too. We all were. At the end they said 93 points for Sweden.

THE NETHERLANDS WON YEAHHH!!!

I began to scream and cry so hard. This was definitely one of the best nights in my life. I couldn’t sleep well that night. I had also stomach cramps but I already have them these months so it’s not only because of Eurovision I guess. My father was sleeping so I didn’t scream that hard hahah ๐Ÿ˜‚. He doesn’t understand all my emotion and happiness around it. It’s just incredible that an unkown artist won with such a beautiful song. I’m also a highly sensitive person so everything makes me feel so much. I feel every emotion deep. My country, The Netherlands won after 44 years! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ™๏ธ I still can’t believe we are going to organise Eurovision next year. My dream is seeing it live so I hope I can get tickets. My dream was also to see The Netherlands or Spain win so I’m so happy and so proud! ๐Ÿ’ช

His winner’s performance was so emotional too. Hearing the crowd singing the song is just the best feeling ever. He also was looking up to the sky because he sings this song to the one he lost.

Duncan wrote history. Everyone knows him now. His song is number one in many iTunes charts. I will never get tired of this beautiful song or of him. I love him so much ๐Ÿ’—. I’m so grateful to have a new artist in my life who I admire so much. He is already writing more songs so I can’t wait to hear them. I also would love to see him live. All his concerts are sold out now. His voice makes me crack my soul open and make me feel so many feelings. I have to admit that this song also reminds me of my break up with my first love ๐Ÿ’” I kept hoping after I lost him that he would come back but until today he didn’t. Maybe that’s why I get so emotional with this song. I can still feel how my heart broke but I also feel the hope in this song. There will be new people to love and experiences to live.

Duncan kissing the trophy of Eurovision. He really deserved to win!
“This is for dreaming big, this is to music first, always!” – Duncan Laurence

Thank you Duncan for being real and from growing from a wallflower to a beautiful artist who stand for things. He is bisexual and open about it. He told about his bullying experience. He is honest. He is vulnerable. I’m so thankful that you are real in this sometimes fake and dark world. Thank for coming in our lives. You give me hope in my life to reach my dreams ๐ŸŒ โœจ. Thank you for making us happy and feel inspired. You are one of my fav artists now. I will never stop loving you ๐ŸŽถ. Loving you is a winning game! ๐Ÿ˜โœจ i love u forever cutieeee ๐Ÿ’—

In Tel Aviv, Israel. He such a cutie just look at him. I get so angry that kids bullied him because he is such a beatiful person inside & out.
Duncan singing live an acoustic version of Arcade on De Wereld Draait Door before he went to Israel

Life wouldn’t be the same without music. It makes us feel things, we feel less alone and it will never leave us. I will also keep singing as I love to sing. I don’t know if being famous is something for me but joining a choir again or having singing classes would be amazing. I would love to learn guitar or piano too one day. I miss that so much to be honest ๐Ÿ˜ญ. With singing I can release emotions and it makes me so happy ๐Ÿ˜

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you find this post as inspiring as I found it to write it. What do you think of the song Arcade and the story behind it? Did you watch Eurovision? Do you also tear up with beautiful songs? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Loving you is a loosing game ๐ŸŽถ

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

It’s time again for a singing cover ๐ŸŽถ. I once shared a cover from the song Supermarket flower by Ed Sheeran in this post. I hope you all like this cover I made a few days ago. As a eurofan of Eurovision Song Contest I wanted to make a cover of Arcade from Duncan Laurence who will represent The Netherlands in Eurovision this year ๐Ÿ’—๐ŸŽถ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ .

You can listen to my cover here:

View this post on Instagram

Cover Arcade – @itsduncanlaurence ๐Ÿ’—๐ŸŽถ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ . I spent all of the love I've saved We were always a losing game Small-town boy in a big arcade I got addicted to a losing game Ooh, ooh All I know, all I know Loving you is a losing game @itsduncanlaurence will represent The Netherlands with this beautiful song called Arcade in Eurovision Song Contest this year. Thursday is the second semi final and I hope that Duncan will go to the finals and of course win Eurovision! Every time I listen to this song I get emotional and cry. It makes me feel so much. All the feels. It's a beautiful song and has a beautiful melody which I can't get out of my mind. The lyrics is so good too. Duncan is an amazing singer songwriter. I love him because he is so down to earth, bubbly and sensitive ๐Ÿ’• He is such a cutie. Everything about this song and about him is WOW. I can imagine how many people can relate to this song and get emotional when they listen to it. The videoclip was made in the water. His inspiration came from a loved one that passed away at an early age. She was hoping for her loved one to come back but he didn't. Arcade is a story about the search for the love of your life. Itโ€™s about the hope to reach something that seems unreachable. The water surface in the video represents the hope. The nude reflects the vulnerability and perhaps the rebirth from the hope. We all can relate to this story in our own lives too like when a dream can't be reached, when someone is dying or when you heart is broken and you are still longing for that person to come back. I really do hope The Netherlands wins after 44 years with this unbelievable beautiful song which gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it. If a song can make you feel so much emotion and if the singer also brings that emotion to the audience then for me it's definitely a winner ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜ I really want to be able to see The Netherlands and also Spain win Eurovision Song Contest for once in my life. Good luck Duncan! Whole Europe already loves you as you are still number one in the bookmakers. I guess that's already a good sign. I can't wait for Thursday and Saturday! ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Let's gooo and win yeahhh! ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—

A post shared by Sea of words ๐ŸŒŠ (@seaofwordsblog) on

I spent all of the love I’ve saved
We were always a losing game
Small-town boy in a big arcade
I got addicted to a losing game

Ooh, ooh
All I know, all I know
Loving you is a losing game

Duncan Laurence will represent The Netherlands with this beautiful song called Arcade in Eurovision Song Contest. Thursday is the second semi final and I hope that Duncan will go to the finals and of course win Eurovision! Every time I listen to this song I get emotional and cry. It makes me feel so much. All the feels. It’s a beautiful song and has a beautiful melody which I can’t get out of my mind. The lyrics is so good too. Duncan is an amazing singer-songwriter. I love him because he is so down to earth, bubbly and sensitive ๐Ÿ’• He is such a cutie.

Everything about this song and about him is WOW. I can imagine how many people can relate to this song and get emotional when they listen to it. The videoclip was made in the water. His inspiration came from a loved one that passed away at an early age. She was hoping for her loved one to come back but he didn’t. Arcade is a story about the search for the love of your life. Itโ€™s about the hope to reach something that seems unreachable. The water surface in the video represents the hope. The nude reflects the vulnerability and perhaps the rebirth from the hope. We all can relate to this story in our own lives too like when a dream can’t be reached, when someone is dying or when you heart is broken and you are still longing for that person to come back.

I will share again the videoclip because it’s just too beautiful to not watch it:

IT’S JUST THE BEST VIDEOCLIP I HAVE SEEN โค OKAY? OKAY. BYE

I really do hope The Netherlands wins after 44 years with this unbelievable beautiful song which gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it. If a song can make you feel so much emotion and if the singer also brings that emotion to the audience then for me it’s definitely a winner ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜ I really want to be able to see The Netherlands and also Spain win Eurovision Song Contest for once in my life. Good luck Duncan! Whole Europe already loves you as you are still number one in the bookmakers. I guess that’s already a good sign. I can’t wait for Thursday and Saturday! ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Let’s gooo and win yeahhh! ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—

Thank you all for reading this blog post and listening to my cover. Did you like my cover and this song? Are you going to watch Eurovision Song Contest? Which is your favourite song/artist from Eurovision this year? Let me know in the comments. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Music of April ๐ŸŽถ

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’• ,

I can’t wait so share you the songs I’ve been listening to in April. April was such a good music month. I have loved the new songs that have been released ๐Ÿ’—. I hope you will like them too.

Taylor Swift ft. Brendon Urie of Panic! At The Disco – ME!

This song is soooo good, such a bop like my lovely Chloe always says. I’m so happy Taylor is back with an amazing new single. I also love that Brendon from Panic! At The Disco joins her. It’s such an uplifting song which makes me happy every time I listen to it. I love the colours, the cute cats and aahhh Taylor is just a ray of sunshine and always light up my world. I can’t wait to see her live one time ๐Ÿ˜. I’m excited for her new era after her album Reputation.

Morat & Aitana – Presiento

I love Aitana and already wrote sometimes about her. I know her from the Spanish talentshow Operaciรณn Triunfo. I also love the group Morat so much. They are from Colombia and make so many good songs. The clip is really cute and the song makes me happy! ๐Ÿ’• This two singing together is just the best. Morat is very popular in Spain and Latin America.

Ariana Grande & Victoria Monรฉt – MONOPOLY

Ariana only makes good music! What I love so much is when she throws Trump, haters and negativity away in her video. Haha it’s so funny and so good ๐Ÿ˜‚. It’s a really nice song!

LANY & Julia Michaels – “okay”

“I’m gonna be okay, right?
I’m gonna be okay, right?
I wish I could tell myself that at night”

I love every song with Julia Michaels. She does so well with every collobaration. I didn’t know LANY before. It sounds really great! I also find the lyrics very relatable.

Lola Indigo & Lalo Ebratt – Maldiciรณn

Lola Indigo also called Mimi and also known from the Spanish talentshow Operaciรณn Triunfo was the first one that had to leave in the first live show. Now, she is doing amazing and every song she released is AMAZING! Lola indigo is her artist name now and she formed a group where she sings and dances. You can see that in every clip. I just find it amazing. This song is also so good! I really hope she will be known internationally too because she’s just amazing. I can’t wait for her first album in May. I’m excited! ๐Ÿ˜

Lola Indigo – El humo (Original song from the movie I can quit whenever I want)

Originally this song is from the Spanish movie “I can quit whenever I want” but Lola Indigo adapted it. I love it! It reminds me when a jury in the talentshow said to her that she isn’t a dancer but just acts like dancer and everybody in Spain was like whaaat?! She’s a dancer and singer! She also participated in Fama a bailar which is a talentshow of dancing in Spain. I wish I could dance as good as she does ๐Ÿ’ƒ

BTS ft. Halsey – Boy with luv

Okay, so this is the first time that I’m listening to a kpop song. I have to say that it was really great. I love it! It’s such a cute clip. They sing good and also dance really good. I also love that the clothes are pink. It really gives me the feeling of happiness. I’m going to listen to more songs and let you know what I think. Hahaha, next blog post I will know everything about kpop and be a diehard fan such as my lovely friend chloe.

JONGHYUN ft. MV – Lonely

This song was release two years ago. Jonghyun killed himself at the age of 27 years and was the member of the kpop group SHInee. I just found this song and I find it very sad but also beautiful. I looked to the English translation and it made me really sad. He was suffering so much and felt lonely. I’m sad no one could save him but I’m sure he is an angel in heaven. Having a mental illness as I experience anxiety is horrible. Every mental illness needs to be treated well.

Luis Fonsi, Sebastiรกn Yatra, Nicky Jam – Date la vuelta

LOVE THIS SONG! ๐Ÿ˜ I love these artists and I love latin music so much! It’s good to dance on it and you get really good vibes when you listen to it.

Nerea Rodrรญguez – Tu segunda opciรณn

Nerea is also from the Spanish talentshow. I love her voice and this new single of her. She sings about how she isn’t a second choice and that that person don’t deserve her forgiveness. I think it’s a great song with a beautiful message.

Sara Bareilles ft. John Legend – A safe place to land

This is a beautiful song! I love Sara Bareilles singing together with John Legend. It sounds so good ๐Ÿ‘

Tom Odell – Summer day

“I don’t know much about society
Or if we’re growing up quicker than we’re meant to be”

The lyrics is so relatable and it’s just such a happy song. The animation is pretty funny. It’s a song which makes me think of Summer days. I can’t wait for Summer time which always makes me happy and relax ๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒŠ

Thank you all for reading this blog post. What was your favourite song from my list? Which music did you listen to in April? Let me know in the comments. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

April favourites ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒผ๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒป

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

Today I will share with you all my favourites of the month April. I can sum up that I saw many beautiful flowers ๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒผ, had a lot of fun with my family, wrote a lot of pen pal letters, received some beautiful letters and celebrated the birthday of my brother and his wife. I will tell you all about it and also show you with some nice pictures. I hope you will like it.

Some things I did:

Internship interview

At the beginning of April I was in Spain and had to do an internship interview at the 5 stars hotel ๐Ÿฉ ๐Ÿ‡ with the vine yards. It went pretty well even though I was suffering from so much anxiety and I thought I wouldn’t be able to cope. I’m proud I faced my fear. I wrote about my whole experience in this blog post.

4 pictures made into a collage about my internship interview

Tulip fields in The Netherlands ๐ŸŒท

I went to see the tulip fields in The Netherlands with my mother on Easter. It was so beautiful and magical to see! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒทโœจ I have never been to these tulip fields. You can see more of the pictures I took in my photo diary post. I’m happy I grew up in a country full of flowers. Flower power always! ๐Ÿ’ I’m forever a hippie girl! โœŒ๏ธ

Me with beautiful red tulips with a quote

Bloemencorso in Haarlem

I went to the Bloemencorso in Haarlem with my mother. We loved it so much as we both love flowers. It’s been many years since I didn’t go because I was in Spain. I always go whenever I get the chance because it’s a unique event in Haarlem. It’s definitely my favourite event ever! ๐Ÿ˜ Flowers make me so happy. They are so colourful and beautiful ๐ŸŒผ๐ŸŒป. They also smell so good. Flowers make this world better. It’s also called Flower Parade. It’s every year. The first prize was for the one with the ๐Ÿ, ๐Ÿข, and ๐Ÿฒ. The second prize was for the one you can see on the picture which is called “Rise of the phoenix”. The third prize was for the one with the tulips from Keukenhof. They are all so beautiful. We loved them.

It’s incredible how they all make this with flowers. It takes a lot of work. They mostly use hyacinths, tulips and daffodils. It always amazes me. Lots of tourists come to Haarlem to see this event. So yeahhh, visit Haarlem and go to Keukenhof which is the beautiful tulip park in Lisse ๐ŸŒท You will not regret it ๐Ÿ˜

Bloemencorso in Haarlem

Lovely things I did with my family ๐Ÿ‘ช:

Eating pancakes ๐Ÿฅž

I didn’t celebrate King’s Day in The Netherlands which was the 27th of April. This day we celebrate the birthday of our King. It was bad weather and I also didn’t felt well because of stomach cramps before my period so I stayed at home. I enjoyed the day writing cards and eating delicious pancakes which are called Pannenkoeken in Dutch. My daddy always makes the most delicious ones! ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜ It’s definitely one of my favourite food ever.

Delicious pancakes made by my daddy

Fondue with the family

I ate delicious Dutch fondue with potatoes, huzaren salad and as dessert vanilla ice cream and fruits. It was all so delicious mmm! We celebrated the birthday of my brother Rafael and Verรณnica together with my parents.

Dutch fondue with the family

Easter time ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿฃ๐Ÿ’—

I celebrated Easter Monday with the whole family. My two brothers, their wifes, and my little niece came to our house. It was so nice to be all together. It was also 25 degrees so we could all enjoy a delicious lunch with a boiled egg in the garden๐Ÿฅš My little niece was also playing with water ๐Ÿ’ฆ in the garden and was making me wet with a spray haha it was really fun. We also went to play with her in the park. I had such a nice day with my lovely family who I love so much ๐Ÿ˜

Enjoying Easter time with my family and a delicious breakfast

Birthday party of Rafael and Verรณnica ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽ

My mother and I went to the home of my brother to celebrate his birthday and the one of Verรณnica. It was nice to see their lovely friends again and eat delicious food ๐Ÿ˜‹ We ate delicious soup haha my brother loves soup as much as I do. We also ate cheese ๐Ÿง€, nachos with guacamole sauce which I love so much, chips, olives, bread, and much more. There was also a red sauce from Bulgeria which I really loved. I gave them two cards I made and some presents including beautiful roses ๐ŸŒน

Celebrating the birthday of my brother and his wife with delicious food

Spring time in the park

We had a week of good weather ๐ŸŒž in The Netherlands so I could enjoy the sunshine in my garden. We also enjoyed some walks in the park. I also enjoyed a delicious Easter breakfast with a boiled egg, bread, croissant and orange juice. Before we went to see the flower fields we went for a nice bike ride through the park near to my house. We also took the ferry which is for free and you can go with the bike. It’s so nice to enjoy the river the Spaarne in Haarlem ๐Ÿšฒ๐Ÿ’—โ›ด๏ธ

Enjoying Spring time from the ferryboat with my mother

Other awesome things of April ๐Ÿ’•:

Tickets to fly to Spain are booked ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ

I’m going to Spain at the end of May until at least mid September with my mother. I hope that I can find a job too and I also can’t wait to enjoy Summer time and go surfing! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ„โ€โ™€๏ธ Summer in Spain is the best.I always spend my Summers there. It’s always sunny, 30 or even 40 degrees. I love sunshine ๐ŸŒž. Summer is my favourite season but 40 degrees is too much for me hahah. In The Netherlands it can rain a lot in the Summer so I better be in Spain. I also love to travel with my friends and mother to the beach. I can’t wait to plan some awesome Summer plans!

300 followers on my blog ๐ŸŽ‰

I’m so happy I reached more than 300 followers on my blog! It really mean the most to me that people read my blog, like it and comment. I love blogging. It makes me feel inspired and so happy. I hope my blog will continue to grow and I will continue to grow as a blogger too. Every day I learn something new. I love you all SO much ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Buying stationery

I bought some nice stationery in Spain and on Aliexpress. In Spain I bought all the smilies stickers and travelling stickers for just โ‚ฌ1 in a Chinese Bazar. On AliExpress I bought beautiful writing paper. It’s difficult to find these in the shops so I preferred to buy it online. It costed โ‚ฌ12 for 80 sheets from 8 different designs. I love the floral designs so much ๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒผ๐ŸŒบ

Nice stationery stuff, writing papers and stickers

Receiving beautiful letters from my pen pals ๐Ÿ˜โœ’๏ธ

I love pen palling and I have some more pen pals right now. They all make me so happy. I received beautiful letters from them which I will cherish forever. I received beautiful letters from Sophia who always cheer me up and make me happy. She even sent me a beautiful handmade headband and earrings. I also love the cards she sent and the flowers seeds. I also received beautiful snail mail from Rosie. I loved the sticky notes and the cards with beautiful quotes. Finally, I also received a beautiful letter from Jess who sent me pretty sticky notes from Disney and stickers too. I love to make new friendships through writing ๐Ÿ“ It’s so therapeutic and so personal ๐Ÿ’—.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. What did you do in April? What was your favourite from my list? Do you also love pen palling? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina

Dutch tulip fields photo diary๐ŸŒท๐Ÿ“ท and 300 followers! ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’—

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

Today I want to show some beautiful pictures which I took with my mother last Sunday which was on Easter. Today’s blog post is a photo diary of the beautiful Dutch tulip fields ๐ŸŒท. Before I continue to talk about it more and show you the pictures, I will tell you something else.

I finally reached more than 300 followers! ๐ŸŽ‰ I’m so damn happy and proud of it! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽ It means so much to me that my blog is growing and that more and more people are willing to follow me, read my posts and like them. The only strange thing is that I didn’t receive a notification of this on my WordPress. Normally you get a message. Maybe, this sometimes doesn’t work or stops. Did anyone else also experience this? I always love to get that haha because it makes me feel even more excited. Thank you SO much from the bottom of my heart for all your love, support and happiness. I love blogging and will never stop blogging. We are one big and amazing family. I love you all SO much ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—

Okay, enough love ๐Ÿ˜‚ Let’s be serious right now again. I can never be really serious so never mind. I alwaya prefer Spain over The Netherlands but there are some things which I love in Holland and which you can’t find in Spain. One of those things are the beautiful Dutch tulip fields I visited last week. The Netherlands is famous for the flowers especially the tulips. The best time to see them is from mid March to mid May. It starts with crocus season in March, which is followed by daffodils and hyacinths. Finally the tulips show their gorgeous colors, this is from mid April through the first week of May. You can also go to the Keukenhof which is unique tulip park with 7 million of tulips to see. I went there some times and I loved it. I want to go again because it’s so beautiful. The only bad thing is that it can be crowded with all the tourists taking pictures.

So on the First Easter Day I enjoyed a beautiful bike ride with my mother through the park and went to Cruquius which is so near to my house. We went to see the beautiful tulip fields. There was nobody so we could enjoy it to the fullest. First we were afraid to pass the meadow because there was water on the side haha but nothing happened ๐Ÿ˜‚ We didn’t end up in the dike. I loved it so much. I didn’t want to leave anymore. I could sleep there surrounded by the tulips lol. Cray cray. It’s my happy place definitely. Flowers especially tulips are one of my favourite things in life and the most beautiful fields of the world are definitely in Holland. I know Keukenhof is awesome too but to enjoy these fields for free and all alone is just a wonderful experience that everyone has to see. The Netherlands in Spring time is the best time to visit because it’s also so sunny ๐ŸŒž. It feels like Spain ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ except that it was raining a lot there that time ๐Ÿคฃ

This is my photo diary ๐Ÿ“ท. I almost didn’t change the pictures because they are perfect the way they are. I used the app StoryApp for the designs. I really like it and I love to make collages and do something different to show you it. I hope you all enjoy them! ๐Ÿ’—

Thank you all for reading this blog post. Did you like my photo diary? Do you love flowers as much as I do? Which flower is your favourite? ๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒผ๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒท๐Ÿ’ Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ˜˜,

xoxo Christina

Let’s talk about sexual consent and my experiences with it

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’•,

I find it important to talk about feminism, self love and everything related to it on my blog. As I’ve been reading the awesome blog of Ashley I read an important post about sexual consent which inspired me to write about it. April is Sexual Assault Awareness month. There’s no better time to write about it and also about some of my experiences regarding to this topic. I don’t know if this is too much information to share but I will share it anyway. That’s what my blog is for, to be always vulnerable, open and honest.

Sexual consent is agreeing to be sexual with someone. The two of them have to agree on it. What I often experienced and saw around me happening was that when a women don’t say NO or just isn’t sure it means she says yes. I have never been raped but I know there are so many women in the world who have been raped and even murdered. It isn’t their fault yet society still blames the victim which in many cases is a women. When I was reading what sexual assualt means I was thinking about my own experiences. I always thought that the things which men did to me wasn’t a big deal compared to a women who have been raped. I began to realize that my experiences were also not okay. Not because someone else has it worse doesn’t mean the things you experience don’t count. It all count because you feel it and have experience it.

“Sexual assault is any type of sexual activity or contact that you do not consent to. Sexual assault can happen through physical force or threats of force or if the attacker gave the victim drugs or alcohol as part of the assault. Sexual assault includes rape and sexual coercion.” In the United States, one in three women has experienced some type of sexual violence. If you have been sexually assaulted, it is not your fault, regardless of the circumstances. This the real definition of sexual assualt from the website https://www.womenshealth.gov/.

So this made me think because I have experienced this in my life. I have experienced this with the only relationship I have had in my life. I remember that there were times he just wanted to have sex and I just didn’t want. You can’t force someone, right? I also was crying sometimes and we fight about it once or twice…. I told this once to a mental health worker a few years ago and said it wasn’t okay what happened in my relationship. It wasn’t a bad relationship but these things weren’t okay. I remember how my ex said that if he didn’t had sex before 18 he would go to the red light destrict. Maybe, it was a joke but I still didn’t like those jokes. He told his friends that we have done it when it wasn’t the case. I think men are ashamed to not have done sex in their friend group and don’t want to admit it to them. I find that so stupid.

Men always have to act cool surrounding there friends. I didn’t experience rape but if I would be again in a relationship I will set more boundaries. If someone doesn’t respect me and want to cross my boundaries then for me it’s exit. I don’t want a toxic relationship. I also don’t want to talk bad about people because my two year relationship was really great and it was the only one I ever loved in life but you learn from things you experience. People also do change. We all grow up and learn from our mistakes in life.

When he broke up with me I had a broken heart and didn’t how to survive in life without him. I found comfort in kissing random boys which didn’t give a f*ck about me. I was naive and innocent, which I maybe still am a bit but I’m getting better in knowing which people to trust. I was broken and lost during my exchange period in Spain. I was running through the streets late at night, drunk and calling my ex. Of course he didn’t pick up the phone. I just remember that last night I was in Spain partying and that night I was kissing a boy. I only remember that I drank much and that the next morning I woke up sick and had to vomit. I’m so thankful that I’m over those times and that I don’t drink anymore.

I just remember how awful I felt that morning because I felt like something happened the night before but I couldn’t remember it. I knew I was kissing a boy and he was touching me. Maybe, this sounds stupid but I was so afraid that I was pregnant. That didn’t happen thanks god but then I asked that boy on chat if he touched me and he laughed and said yes. I wrote him a message and laughed back. I’m thinking of that now and think how stupid I was too laugh about that. I had to speak up for myself and confront him that it wasn’t okay what he did.

I felt horrible and so guilty because all I felt was that it was completely my fault. I should have not accepted those free drinks. I should have behaved. I should not be at that party that night. I should not have kissed him. Why does women always think this way? Really why? Just because I drank and kissed him didn’t mean I wanted that he touched me without my consent? It’s just not okay. Women are still considered sexual objects in this society and are still in society’s eyes responsible for everything what happens to them regarding sexual assault, harrasment and rape. I find that so hard to understood and it makes me SO angry. There are so many cases in the world where a man don’t end up in jail or don’t have to go many years in jail because they say that the woman didn’t protect herself or because the law still think it’s our fault. We can’t defense ourselves. We just want to feel safe and protected by the law but what if the law even don’t trust us? Then we are really lost in this patriarchy world.

I just wanted to share my experiences in the hope that it helps all women out there ๐Ÿ’œ. You are not alone and you will never be. No is no and when you don’t say anything it’s also no. You decide your boundaries. It’s your body and your life. I hope the ones who suffer from violence against women in any form can get the help they need, professional help, speaking up about it, can talk about it with friends and family members who are there for me and respect them. I mostly hope that we can all feel safe in our bodies, with our lives and in this world. I hope one day we don’t have to feel anxious when walking down the streets at night in fear of our own lives. I really do hope we can all make this world a better place to live in ๐ŸŒ. I will forever be a feminist, speak up about these topics and hopefully one day make a big change for you all, my sisterhood ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’œ.

Thank you all for reading this important blog post. What do you think of sexual consent? Do you agree with me? Did you also experience any form of sexual assault in your life? Let me know in the comments. You can always message me too if anyone wants to talk about anything. I’m always here for you all. We are all warriors! We are all in this together, always! ๐Ÿ’ช

I also want to wish you all a happy Easter as it’s Easter time! ๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฃ๐Ÿ˜Š May you all enjoy this beautiful Spring season, eat lots of good food, delicious chocolate eggs ๐Ÿฅš and spend time with your loved ones ๐Ÿ’• I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’•,

xoxo Christina