It’s okay to take antidepressants or other meds for your mental illness

Hey lovely bloggers <3,

I’ve always wanted to make a blog post about it. I felt a bit scared to share of all this but since I’m always honest on my blog and you all are so supportive I know it feels good to share it. It’s really an important subject to me. I think many people with a mental illness can relate to this aswell. I have anxiety for like my whole life. I started to take antidepressants in February 20 mg of Lantanon. I also take a benzo when I feel really high anxiety. First, I felt really ashamed of it because I already felt ashamed of having a mental illness: anxiety and taking a medicine to recover made me even feel more weak and guilty of feeling this way. I thought that it’s all my fault and I thought that I have to help myself. It’s really crazy to think that it’s wrong to take a medicine when you have a mental illness?

When we have a physical illness such as fever or a cold it’s so normal for all of us to take paracetamol, ibuprofen or antibiotics. We even don’t think about it. We don’t find it a big issue. You are physically ill and you have to take a medicine to recover, like that’s so common. Nobody looks strange at you when you are having a cold and take a paracetamol. Also when I have my period I take Aleve Feminax which is a Naproxen that helps to relieve the cramps. It’s just all so normal. You go to the doctor and they give you the meds you need.

But then….. You can also have a mental illness like depression, eating disorder, ocd, anxiety…. You can recover with therapy but some people also need to take a medicine to recover. I did some therapy sessions in The Netherlands and it didn’t help for me. I even felt more anxious than ever before. You have to search the thing that works for you. Only you knows what’s the best thing for you to be able to recover. So, some people need to take meds such as antidepressants or anti anxiety meds to be able to function. There is a stigma surrounded with mental illnesses and with meds even more. You can’t get it so easy as when you have a cold. They even warn you for all the side effects and I read that when you stop taking it you will feel so bad. These meds are soooo important. They are saving lives and help people to cope with their mental illness. Why is their even a stigma about it? This really need to change.

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I will admit that I was afraid to take antidepressants too. I read some stories about the side effects and I felt really scared. I tried naturall stuff like tea, valerian and St. Jans Wort and it all didn’t work. I just can’t stand when people are like yeah you just should try natural things and everything will be allright again. I tried that and it didn’t work. I also don’t like when people say like yeah just sleep more, do sports and you will feel better. Sometimes you can’t sleep good because of anxiety or don’t wanna move. That’s what depression and anxiety is about. You just feel tired all the time and don’t wanna do anything and in some cases people have suicide thoughts which makes it even harder to cope with life. I also can’t stand the people who say it’s all about seeking attention when somebody suffering with depression for example say that they wanna die. They feel so bad and have horrible thoughts and they are all suffering in silence. It’s so hard for them to open up. When they finally open up to aΒ  loved one, they say it’s seeking attention or not true. I think that’s really the worst thing you can say to someone mentally ill. If you can’t be kind, then don’t say anything at all. Be there for that person. Let them know you will support them and help them in seeking professional help. That’s just so important.

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Sometimes you need help and take meds for your brain. The brain is an organ too. This organ can also misfuction just like any other organ. I was scared as hell when I began to take antidepressants since february 20mg and a benzo when I feel high anxiety. I even read the description and it said some people will have suicide thoughts and you can call this number when you feel that way. Fortunately, I didn’t had that.Β 
I think there are a lot of horror stories which even aren’t true. They just don’t want that we take it. I mean antibiotics also can cause danger and nobody said anything about that. My father had high cholesterol and got a medicine. This medicine caused him pancreatis. He almost died because of it….. I was 11 years old. In the subscription of the medicine to lower his high colestrol there was even written that it would cause this infection…. You see, you can’t trust these meds too. Every thing has sife effects and stuff but it’s important to know that in many cases nothing badly will happen. It’s also important to seek help by a qualified doctor. To anybody suffering of a mental illness, don’t be afraid to seek for help and take meds for it. If it makes you feel better, then do it.

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I hope this blog post helped the people who are suffering with a mental illness. I believe that if you need to take meds for your mental illness, then you should take it. It saved my life. I cry less and my anxiety is much better than before. Ask for help and take what you need. I know that the more we talk about it and raise awareness, the more people will share about their mental illness an seek help. Recovery is possible and we have the right to speak about our struggles. We don’t have to feel ashamed of anything.

We are all in this together! ❀ You are a warrior! πŸ’ͺπŸ’œπŸ’• Together we are stronger and together we can beat the stigma of mental illnesses!

I love you all <3,

xoxo Christina

 

My brother is getting married! πŸ’‘πŸ’πŸ‘°πŸ˜πŸ’ž

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’ž,

I have some exciting news to share omggg. My oldest brother Rafael (39 years old) is getting married next year in August with his beautiful Spanish girlfriend called Veronica. They know each other because of me hahah. I matched them together. The wedding will be in Spain which is sooooo amazing! πŸŽ‰πŸ˜πŸ’•πŸŒˆπŸ‘°πŸ’‘πŸ’ 

Spanish weddings are really different than the weddings I went in The Netherlands. There are much bigger and more people come. There will be 80 people. In Spain people are catholic and many people marry in a church. Afterwards, all the people who are invited are going to eat together and dance πŸ’ƒπŸŽΆπŸŽ€.

My other brother called Edward married a few years ago with Elke when I was in Spain doing my exchange semester. I came back to The Netherlands for the wedding. It was so beautiful and emotional, damn. I cried my eyes out. I even sang at the wedding. I was so anxious but I did it well. I sang the first couplet of When I came down to the river to pray and afterwards we sang all together with a few people. Two years ago Elke got pregnant so I’m a happy aunt! My little niece Noanne is two years old now. I can’t wait to see them again. I didn’t see them now for one year because I was doing my internship in Spain and am living in Spain now. I’m going back to the Netherlands to spend Christmas time with my whole family. I really can’t wait, happy vibes! πŸŽ„πŸ’žπŸ˜ 

Rafael, me, Edward at the wedding of Edward and Elke

Edward, Elke and Noanne live in Geldrop, in the south of The Netherlands near to Eindhoven. Rafael and Veronica went this weekend to visit them. Rafael proposed during a love photoshoot Veronica and gave her the ring. Edward and Elke are wedding photographers and they take beautiful pictures. You can see their website which is called Azcona fotografie. Rafael booked the hotel NH in Eindhoven to spend this weekend there with Veronica after proposing her.

Asdfghjkl I’m so excited for their wedding next year!!!! πŸ‘°πŸ’‘πŸ’– My lovely niece Noanne will also come. She will be three years old by then. I just love weddings so much. It’s just so beautiful to be there on their special day with all the people you love. They are going to marry not in the church but in the beautiful castle of FuensaldaΓ±a, a village near to Valladolid. Valladolid is the place where I’m living and where my mother was born. The castle is sooo beautiful. The ceremony will be there and then afterwards we will eat all together in a restaurant with delicious Spanish food. I hope I will sing again at their wedding, who knows πŸŽΆπŸ’ƒ

At the castle of FuensaldaΓ±a with me, my mother, mother of Veronica, Rafael and Veronica

The beautiful castle in FuensaldaΓ±aπŸ’ž

It’s going to be such a wonderful day. I can’t wait to buy a beautiful dress and go to the hairdresser and all stuff hahaha πŸ˜‚πŸ‘—For the wedding of my brother Edward I got a beautiful purple dress from a friend. This time I would love to buy a dress but not too expensive. There are so many shops in Valladolid and I still have plenty of time to look for a beautiful one so no stress hahaha πŸ˜‚.

I wish my brother and his girlfriend a life full of happiness, love and luck! πŸ€ May all your dreams come true. I wish you many more years πŸ’–πŸŒˆβœŒ

Much love to you all πŸ’ž,

xoxo Christina

Halloween 2017 πŸŽƒπŸ‘»

Hola beautiful bloggers,

I still wanted to write this post haha only one week too late but who cares πŸ˜‚. I’m going to write about how I celebrated Halloween this year. 

I celebrated Halloween during my childhood and these last three years in The Netherlands and Spain. I really like to dress up haha it’s really fun. We all have a child in us that comes alive in this way. I always dress up like a witch haha it’s just my favourite outfit.

So, I bought the week before Halloween the outfit of the witch: a cape and a hat. I celebrated Halloween on Saturday 28th in Valladolid, in Spain. I dressed up like a witch. I painted a bit of my face too. Some of my friends had also an outfit, others not. Unfortunately, people were celebrating Halloween the 31th so almost nobody was dressed up on the streets or in the bars πŸ˜‚

I went for dinner that day with my friends. We ate some delicious tapas and afterwards we went to two different bars to dance. I really liked it. I love to dance πŸ’ƒπŸŽΆπŸŽ€ It was sad that I had to put my outfit in a bag in the bar because nobody was dressed up, haha next year better πŸ˜‚. Some bars were decorated Halloween style which was really cool. 


On the day of Halloween itself so Tuesday the 31th my mommy was carving a pumpkin. We do it every year. It was too dangerous to cut it myself. My poor mommy cut herself twice in the finger but not hard oufffff. I think the pumpkin looks really cute. We put some artificial lights in it and put it in our livingroom. Nice decoration, isn’t it?! 😍

On the first of November it’s dΓ­a de los muertos, day of all the saints in Spain. It’s a day to remember all the people who have died and who we will have in our hearts forever πŸ’•. It’s a tradition to go to the cemetery and bring flowers πŸ’. 

A typical sweet in Spain are huesos de santo, bones of a saint. They are covered with chocolate, mint, and just anything 🍫 It’s soooo damn delicious. I had never tried it before and I loved it πŸ˜πŸ‘ŒπŸ’•. My mommy and I bought it in Cubero which is a famous shop and cafe for delicious sweets in Valladolid 🍰. If you never have tried it before, you definitely should try it in Spain! 😍

I had an amazing Halloween πŸ’œπŸŽƒπŸ’ƒ I hope you all had an awesome and amazing Halloween too. How did you celebrated Halloween this year? Tell me. I would love to know it all πŸŽ‰

Love you all πŸ’œ,

xoxo Christina

Pray for New York πŸ˜’πŸ—½πŸ’”

Hey beautiful bloggers πŸ’•,

Yesterday a horrible terrorist attack happened again in New York City after 9/11. I really cried when I heard about it 😒 What an awful world we live in. When will all of this end?! These people don’t need to be here on this planet. This time it happened in NYC, in Manhattan. 8 people died and many people are injuried by a van as always. My heart is breaking in pieces πŸ’” This just needs to stop. 

I have been in New York City two years ago and felt completely in love with this beautiful city πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ—½ It’s an amazing international city with a beautiful history, culture, music, art, delicious food and so much more. New York City is one of my favourite cities where I have ever been to. I won the MLOW essay contest (will write a blog post about this and I wrote about it in other blog posts) and got to speak at the United Nations two years ago in July 2015. I will never ever forget this life changing experience. That’s why this hits me hard. It took place just 200 meter of the memorial of the twin towers. I have been to that sad place 😒.

When something awful like this happens, I need to write. I need to write all my thoughts and feelings down on paper πŸ’­. Writing always help me to feel better. So, I wrote this poem for you, New York City and its beautiful people πŸ’•πŸ—½ I hope you all like it β™‘

My prayings goes for all the people who have died and their families. My prayings also goes for all the people injuried. I hope you have a great recovery. 

New York City is the city of freedom, where your wildest and biggest dreams come true and where love beats hate πŸ’– 

New York City will forever have a special place in my heart. I send all my love to you πŸ’œ NYC will always have a place in my heart and I can’t wait to go back. NYC is sooo strong and can beat this πŸ’ͺ. This is just a beautiful, amazing city and international city. I’m here for you all. Any of my bloggers living in NYC, stay strong and safe please πŸ’• 

Hate will never win in this world. Hate will overcome all the love in this world. There are still soooo many good people out there like all people who helped yesterday in this awful terrorist attack. Think of all the good in the world. I know it’s hard. I know that after such a bad event happened its hard to stay positive with all the cruelty and injustice in this world. On the other hand, this only unites people and communities even more. We are stronger than hate and we shall win πŸ’–

This quote just fits perfectly by this blog post by the awesome man Martin Luther King, JR. Love will win πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ.

I love you all, stay stafe and strong πŸ’œ

Much love,

xoxo Christina πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

You must love yourself before you can love someone else πŸ’•

Hey lovely bloggers <3,

I always wanted to write about this. It’s just a subject which is so close to my heart. It’s something which always make me think about it and reflect about it. You must love yourself before you can love someone else. This is just so damn true.

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I had a two year relationship from 17 till 19 years old. We had a long distance relationship. I was living in The Netherlands and he was living in Switzerland. We saw each other like once in two or three months. He was my first love so the break up was really hard. After he broke up with me because of the distance, family problems and not the right timing, I felt so bad. He broke up with me just before Christmas face to face so every time it’s almost Christmas I begin to feel sad. Christmas time make me feel lonely and kinda depressed. It reminds me of that time. I still love Christmas so much but it still hurts sometimes.

This Christmas it will be almost 5 years since the break up. After the break up I went on an exchange to Spain for 5 months. During that time I was a completely mess. I started to drink so much alcohol, got drunk many times and then ended up crying and feeling sick. I kissed many boys without having feelings for them, just for fun. They all used me because I was in such a bad place. I was too sensitive and emotional. At night I had panick attacks. My heart was beating fast and felt just so bad. I wanted to give up on life. I know from myself that I would never do anything to myself such as self harm or commit suicide. I just can’t. However, I really felt so low for about three years I think. It’s just these last two years that I finally begin to feel like myself again.

Feeling like myself again? What does that even mean? It means that I don’t give my heart away to people who would only abuse it and cause me pain. It means that I don’t have to drink alcohol when I go out dancing with my friends. I can just say NO and feel good about it. Feeling like myself again means that I totally respect myself and love myself. I still have times where I make bad decisions like everybody else but I’m more aware of the choices I make. Now, I know that during that hard time I just didn’t love myself enough to make the right decisions for myself. I felt worthless and not good enough so I attracted the bad boys. I thought that I deserve that. This reminds me that if you feel good about yourself and love yourself, you will attract good people and make good choices because you feel that you deserve that.

I always thought that if someone loved me, I would feel whole. It’s just not true. I already had anxiety and low self confidence when I met my first love. I felt whole during that relationship because I thought like YEAHHH finally someone loves me so I’m worth it. It’s just a miss conception that somebody should love you so that you can love yourself. I always thought that somebody had to make me happy. I always thought that I need to heal my broken heart with not letting me feel the pain such as with drinking much alcohol and kissing bad boys. This would not let me feel the pain. It was just not the right thing to do. You will only heal when you sit down with your pain, feel it and cry about it. You have to let it out and talk about it with a good friend or a loved one. It’s the only way to heal your broken heart. Now, I’m just so happy that I didn’t give up. I’m just so happy that I moved on. Now, I know what’s right for me. I shouldn’t give my heart to people who will just cause me pain and let me suffer. I almost don’t drink any alcohol anymore. It made me cause even more anxiety and no good. I’m not a loser because I don’t drink alcohol. I do what feels right to me and my body.

If you are in a relationship now, I’m happy for you. Be with someone who understands you and makes you happy πŸ’œ Do what feels right to you. Say no more often. If this person only makes you feel about yourself and doesn’t respect your NO, then it’s time to leave this relationship. Nobody should make you feel bad about yourself. Leave that toxic relationship. You deserve so much more πŸ’–

For anybody being single, don’t rush yourself with  finding your soulmate. You have your whole life ahead of you. I thought my whole life that I should have a soulmate to feel whole. It’s just not true. You are already whole. You don’t need just a person to love you to make you feel loved. You have to make yourself happy. Nobody can do that for you. Travel the world. Be with real friends. Do things that make you happy and then if you find someone who loves you, you already feel whole πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ .

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Everything will fall into place if you love yourself and put yourself first before anything else in life 😘 This is your life and you have the right to live it your way πŸ‘ŒπŸ’œ Life is beautiful after all 🌠

Much love πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Sometimes I really miss my childhood πŸ˜’πŸ’•πŸ‘ΈπŸŒˆπŸŒ 

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

I wanna talk in this blog post about how I miss my childhood sometimes. I think many bloggers can relate to this aswell, if of course you had a good childhood. Not everybody has that privilige especially kids in underdeveloped countries which I find so sad 😒. I remember one time that I made a box with toys and gave it to a church and they send it to those kids. They were so happy. They even wrote a card back to me. That just made my day! πŸ’•

This is little me, don’t know how old, maybe 5/6. I was dressing up as a beautiful princess haha πŸ‘‘πŸ‘Έ I always liked to play that. I would still do that for a theme party. It’s just so fun. I really like to dress up. I can’t wait to celebrate Halloween this Saturday with my friends here in Spain and dress up like a witch like I do ever year πŸ˜‚.

Sometimes I really do miss being this little. If I think of it I cry a bit. This was the time that I could be myself without a damn care in the world. This was the time that I could wake up at Christmas day and just be sooooo full of excitment. You know that feeling?! That’s just so beautiful. I still love Christmas so much but while having anxiety I find it sometimes stressing to be surrounded by all my family and get asked questions about what I’m doing with my life, career and all that stuff. I just don’t know what to say then. Back then nobody asked those questions. Life was just so simple. I really miss that. I could be happy with little things. As you grow older into an adult it all has to be big things such having a great job, a great partner and so on. Life is made about all those little things. 

This picture was made during Sinterklaas. I always made these crazy moves with my hand haha πŸ˜‚ This is a feast which we celebrate on the 5th of December. He brings presents to the kids. It’s so lovely that we all believed in this. We all believed in Sinterklaas, Santa Claus and The three kings when it wasn’t true. I was really shocked when I knew my parents were the ones who gave me presents. It was that time that I started not to believe the things people were telling me. I felt like everything was a lie. I was 8 years old. It’s just so magical to believe in all of this as a little child. 

That time I turned five years old. I love that the table is covered with images of beer hahaha xD. 

Everything was fun when I was little. I didn’t had periods pain. I played a lot and met great friends in primary school. I was really happy this time. It was at high school that I got bullied and things just changed. It was then that I knew the world wasn’t so colourful as I imagined. It was dark sometimes and sometimes really dark. I got a boyfriend when I was 17 and then at 19 he broke up with me and my whole life felt apart. I’m going to write about that love story in another blog post. It all felt apart in just in one second.

I miss this time where I could be innocent. I miss this time because I felt safe and loved in this wold. I didn’t knew anything yet about the dangers of the world. I just felt so happy and free like everything is fun and could smile and laugh the whole day. I miss this time because my heart was full of love and not broken. I miss this time because I wasn’t afraid of anything. I didn’t know the concept of fear in life. I was climbing on the trees and I didn’t think of falling out of the tree. That thought just didn’t came into my mind. If I would do that now, I would think of being careful and only do it if it will be 100% safe to do because I don’t wanna get hurt. When you are a child you just don’t think of all that stuff. 

What I really do miss is not being able to just not think about one second and not to worry all the time. Now I’m 24, and I worry so much. I guess I believed in too many fairytales. We all have so much to do in life and have to rush to do all those stuff. Adults seem to not be able to enjoy the present moment anymore and just sit still and do yoga and meditate. Those are such great tools to get that present moment and peaceful feeling back.

This picture was made during a holiday in Spain. I love the swing and still play on that sometimes. I just such a carefree feeling. 

This picture was also made in Spain in the Basque country. I was supporting these people hahaha πŸ˜‚

I have grown up with scars in my heart with being bullied in high school, having my heart broken and my father who almost died when I was 11 years old. This all caused me so much anxiety and sadness in life. After all, I’m thankful that this happened to me. It was all so hard but it shaped me. After my first love left me I couldn’t be happy and now after almost 5 years I’m able to be happy again. I now I won’t be this little innocent girl anymore but I have learnt from this all.

I learnt that life isn’t a fairytale but that it’s still so beautiful. We can make it beautiful. Its important to have deep and meaningful relationships with your family and friends. I learnt that we can add colour into our lives. I learnt that your family will always love you no matter how old you are. Your family will always be there for you πŸ’–

Those are my two older brothers. I love them till infinity and beyond. The middle: Rafael is 39 and the left one called Edward is 35. Edward is married and has a beautiful two years old daughter so yeahhh I’m already aunt! πŸ’•πŸ’–πŸ˜ Rafael has a Spanish girlfriend now for two years. 

I learnt that its normal to get nostalgic and sometimes wanna go back in time but its the past. We have to let it all go and move on. The future will be bright, it really will be 🌠 I learnt that we still have that child in our hearts. It’s still there but we have to set it free and be creative. I know the dangers of the world and am more careful but I still believe in the good people. I may be a real princess one day, who knows haha. What I really know is that I will be a dreamer & hippie for life. My heart will always be full of love and light because I so believe that even though the world can be seem really dark, there’s always a light that is shining out there πŸ’«

This is me also in Spain, Basque country in the garden of my lovely Spanish family 😍

Much love,

Christina xoxo 

Would you be friends with people who spoke to you the way you speak to yourself? πŸ’­

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’•,

I saw this picture on Tumblr. This is just so true. We spend so much time doubting, hating and making fun of ourselves. Instead, we should love ourselves more for what we are. I can relate to this so much. I find it hard too. I remember so many times that I have said to myself that I’m not good enough or other bad thoughts such as that I’m not looking good or that I’m not beautiful. I still find it hard to trust these thoughts. However, I learned to not trust “this voice” in my head all the time even though it’s really difficult sometimes.

If a friend would spoke to me the way I speak to myself sometimes, I really wouldn’t be their friend anymore. How can you be friends with someone who is constantly saying negative things about you?! You don’t wanna be around with such a negative person. Why do we find it so damn easy to say things like we aren’t worth it, we aren’t good enough, we aren’t pretty like her/him to ourselves? We would never ever say that to a friend. We know those are bad thoughts πŸ’­.

I think the reason why we find it so easy to say those things to ourselves lies also in society and media. We always see those perfect famous people; with all their glamour and perfect bodies that we increase this mis conception of not feeling good about ourselves. We see those lives and we feel like we aren’t good enough. We scroll through social media and see all those perfect people and wanna be like them. It ain’t perfect. They have problems too but only the good parts are showed. That’s media. Trust me, being famous isn’t always a happy life if you look to the facts that many famous people can’t cope with their lives and take a lot of drugs, alcohol and even suicide…. I find that really sad. 

Society increase those feelings of not feeling good enough constantly. We are so much aware of it. We see those examples in magazines, on social media, on television, just everywhere. It really annoys me. We have to excercise a lot, look skinnier, gain much money, have a perfect job, have a perfect family, travel to the best places on earth, buy a bigger house… It’s always about having more and being better. I don’t like that about our competitive society. It’s never good enough. 

I love this poem which I found on Google. It shows us how society will always find something to tear us down and how we would never be good enough. We shouldn’t listen to that negative voice but focus on how to feel good about ourselves.

Instead we should focus on what we have and achieve inner peace. Inner peace will bring us to self love. If we are happy about ourselves, we also focus on making good choices for our lives. If we feel good in our skin, we will excersise and eat healthy but not to be skinnier. I hate those fitness and diet pages so much. It only increase that negative feeling about yourself. I’m a believer of making good choices for yourself just to feel about yourself. If you all the time try to be skinnier and skinnier, you will never feel happy. It will never be good enough. 

We can eat healthier and do things we love just to feel good about ourselves and increase our health but not to obtain a certain imaginary goal which can’t never be achieved.

Fuck whats society tells you. Don’t believe them. You are good enough. You are beautiful with all your curves. Be proud of yourself. If you have a bad thought coming into your head of not being good enough, you could think of the things what makes you YOU. You are unique and have so many good qualities. You can be romantic, sensitive, kind, social, compasionate… Those are all good qualities. I know you must have all of these too and so muh more πŸ’«

Being beautiful for me means not something temporary like the looks of a person. No. Being beautiful for me means how a person thinks and feels. Being beautiful goes beyond someone’s looks. It’s all about their qualities and dreams in life. Take all the superficial things away and you have that beautiful person. Being beautiful lays down in your soul. Looks will fade away with the years, but that personality and soul will always stick with you for the rest of your life.

Let the world talk. Make good choices for yourself and always out of love. Love yourself for what you are. Stop doubting about yourself. Know you are worth it and achieve all the dreams that you have. 

Believe in yourself, because YOU are beautiful and good enough. Never ever doubt that πŸ’œπŸ’‹

Much love,

xoxo

10 reasons why I love blogging so damn much πŸ’•

Hey lovely bloggers,

I’m gonna share 10 reasons why I love blogging so much πŸ’œ I’m so happy I made WordPress almost three months ago. I never regret any second of it.

  1. Blogging brings me so much happiness to my life. Whenever I feel bad I can read some inspirational posts or quotes and feel happier again. 
  2. The blogging community is just the most awesome community ever. You are all so kind, lovely, beautiful, sensitive and so supportive. It just gives me goosebumps because it makes me remember that there are so many good people out there in this sometimes dark world.
  3. It inspires me so much. I learn so much of reading your blog posts. I can learn how to paint my nails for halloween, how to stay healthy, book reviews, travel tips, inspirational quotes, how to search for a job, how to handle my anxiety, improve self love and just soooo much more. I think blogging is such a good tool for inspiration.
  4. I love writing so much. Here I can write about anything. I love writing poems, my thoughts and feelings.
  5. It’s so good for my mental health. I have anxiety for like my whole life. Since I begin to share all my thoughts and feelings I feel less alone. I feel so supportive. There are more people on here who have a mental illness. I love the fact that not only the people who have a mental illness but also the ones who don’t have it understand me. I think that’s just so magical. In real life, there’s still a stigma around it and some people just don’t get it. Here it’s different πŸ’œ
  6. I feel safe here. Even though my blog is an open space I still feel safe and kinda privated. I just can write about anything and feel respected. I can wrote about how people have bullied me in high school, how I suffer from anxiety and how my first love broke up with me and it’s just all okay. Nobody will judge me and for that I’m so damn blessed. You are da best! πŸ’•
  7. There are no rules how to blog. In life there are many rules on how you have to do this and this but with blogging there are just no rules. Everything you write is okay. It doesn’t matter about what you write. It doesn’t matter if you write about your bad day or how you are stressing about an exam. Everything is okay because those are your feelings, thoughts and experiences. It’s your blog and you decide about what you are going to blog. 
  8. There is not a specific time when you should blog. You can just blog whenever you want. It doesn’t matter if you blog in the early morning, afternoon or late at night. It’s all okay. Just do it whenever you want.
  9. You can blog anywhere you want. This is also an important reason why I love blogging so much. You can just do it anywhere, may it be in a cafe, at school or in your garden. You just have to have your laptop or mobile phone with you. Then you can start to write. 
  10. It’s free. While other hobbies cost something like going swimming or doing a yoga class, blogging is totally free. You can have a premium account on WordPress if you want. It’s up to you. I don’t have one. Blogging is free and you can even gain money out of it but I don’t know how that works πŸ˜‚ Maybe one day I can make that happen… don’t know.

Are there any other reasons why you love blogging? Tell me, I would love to hear! πŸ’œ

I love you all so much πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’• I hope that you are all doing fine. In case you are not, I’m here for you. You are strong. You are all beautiful human beings. 

Much love to all of you,

Christina xoxo

Liebster award 2x <3

Hey lovely bloggers <3,

Liebster-award-thanks.png

I got nominated for the Liebster Award twice. I’m sorry it took a bit longer but I wanted to take my time to write a good blog post. The Liebster Award is an award to discover new, beginning blogs and is a great way to connect and support the blogging community. I feel so honoured that I was nominated for this award twice! πŸ˜€

The rules of this award are the following steps:

Step 1: write a 150-300 word post about your favourite blog that is not your own

My favourite blog on WordPress is without any doubt from the beautiful Chloe ❀ ❀ ❀ I met her on Instagram where she post beautiful pictures about self love and mental health. Her blog is all about her journey to self love while suffering from anxiety. She is also my mail friend like pen pal. I love to be friends with her and hopefully I will meet her one day.

On her blog and on Instagram she stays authentic and honest. I love that she shares the good and bad in life. Mostly, we can see a lot of fake people on social media but she is real. Her posts are about her struggles and how to find happiness while suffering from anxiety. Her posts and quotes really inspire me, make me happy and make me feel less alone. I encourage anybody following my blog, to follow her blog too because you won’t regret it!

Step 2: thank the blogger who nominated you

Thank you for nominating me for the Liebster Award, Cat and Anjana.  Your blogs are so awesome and inspire me so much. I love your blog posts about everything in life. Thank you so much for thinking of me. I encourage everybody to follow these two amazing blogs! ❀


Step 3: 10 facts about yourself (optional)

My blog is now almost three months old. I shared some personal stuff about me over the last three months, however I will share some facts about myself in case you don’t know them 😊.

  • I used to sing in a choir for 11 years in The Netherlands and travelled through Europe to sing with my choir in awesome places like in St. Peter’s Square, Rome for the Pope Benedict XVI.
  • I’m half Spanish/half Dutch; my father is Dutch, my mother is Spanish
  • I grew up between two cultures: Spanish and Dutch culture; I lived all my life in Haarlem, The Netherlands but am now living in Valladolid, Spain (The place where my mother was born).
  • I love writing poems and just all my thoughts and feelings.
  • I love surfing; I’m an beginner surfer, I went two two surf camps in Spain and surfed a lot in The Netherlands too. Even though I can’t catch like real waves I enjoy it haha and it makes me feel so free and happy (It’s already been more than one year that I didn’t surf, hopefully I will surf again soon).
  • I’m an highly sensitive person which means that I have a nervous system that is more sensitive than others and it process things more deeply. In other words, I feel more and love more. About 20% of the population has this personality trait. I can connect with the world in a way other people can’t. I cry and suffer more, but I also love deeply and have a deep appreciation of the beautiful world around me.
  • I think and dress like a hippie haha peace all the way! ❀
  • I used to do competitive swimming in The Netherlands, once I won the first price of estafette with my group. I really love swiming and would love to swim more because it’s really great to beat my anxiety.
  • I have anxiety for like my whole life. I blog about this a lot because it really helps to vulnerable and I get great support from all the people here. Since 8 months, I’m taking antidepressants like 20 mg each day and a benzo when I feel really anxious. This is really helping me a lot even though I’m now in a period of transition from college to real life which is really hard to cope with but I hope I will be okay soon.
  • I love travelling and travelled a lot through Europe. One of my biggest dream was going to New York City. Two years ago I won the Many Languages, One World Essay contest of 2015. I won a free trip to New York City in the summer of 2015. Our essays were related to the sustainable development goals. I wrote about the importance of gender equality between men and women. I wrote my essay in Spanish. I was in the Spanish team and we worked on our presentation for the United Nations together those days. We had to do a speech in the United Nations. Our project was called EMMA. This proyect was about how to end hunger, achieve food security and sustainablity. It was all so inspiring 😍. It made me think of all the things I wanna change in the world. This was definitely a once in a lifetime experience. I’m forever blessed to have experienced this and met everlasting friendships from people all over the world.

Step 4: Answer the questions your nominator has asked

First I will answer the questions of Cat 😊.

1) What’s your favorite book?

My favourite book is definitely β€œThe fault in our stars”. It’s a love story between two teenagers who have cancer. It’s soooo damn beautiful and emotional. You all should read this book in case you didn’t read it. I also love the movie so much.

2) Tell your favorite quote and why? (mention from which book, in case it’s from a book, you took it).

I have so many favourite quotes but this is definitely one of my favourites from my favourite book: β€œThe fault in our stars – John Green”. This quote is just so beautiful and so true because it shows what true love is and the hard truth of life.

β€œI’m in love with you,” he said quietly.

“Augustus,” I said.

“I am,” he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.”

3) When did you felt most satisfied with your life?

I felt the most satisfied and happiest in my life when I achieved one of my biggest dream which was going to New York City. Two years ago I won the Many Languages, One World Essay contest of 2015. I won a free trip to New York City in the summer of 2015 and spoke at the United Nations. I shared more details in the 10 facts about myself.

4) If you could choose live in any other place, where would it be ?

I would love to live in a place near to the ocean where it’s sunny every day like Hawaii, California, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Australia or Aruba. I would love to visit these places one day. I’m dying to go to Aruba and meet a famous yoga instructor called Yoga Girl and go on a yoga retreat and surf in the ocean of Aruba.

5) Are you capable of managing your social life with your blogging life?

Yes, of course! However, it’s kinda strange that sometimes I feel more connected to the blogging community than with people in my real life. I feel like I can share all my thoughts and feelings especially with having anxiety. I feel so much support here and it helps me so much.

6) Horror movies or Comedy movies? And why

Comedy movies of course, because I can’t watch horror movies. I’m a highly sensitive person and while having anxiety horror movies are just not my movies. It’s way too much for my senses. Comedy movies and romantic movies are the best 😊 ❀ They make me so happy!

7) If you had to spend the rest of your life with only one person, who would it be?

This is a difficult question because I really love all my good friends and family. I would spend it with my lovely mother because she is the one who always support and understand me. She is always there for me. I love her too infinity and beyond! ❀ She is the most important person in my life.

8) What is your favorite song? And why?

I love music so much that I really can’t choose one favourite song. One of my favourite songs is: Is this love from Bob Marley. I heard this song in a surf van when I was doing a surf camp in Spain. I just love those hippie vibes and it makes me feel so free and happy. Love and peace is the way in life! ❀

These are my answers of the questions of Anjana :).

1) Describe your personal sense of style?

My personal sense of style is hippie style. I love kinda hippie clothes and the boho style of fashion. My room is this style too haha. I wear flower headbands and a dream catcher as necklace. I also love to wear clothes with Aztec print. This all creates me the hippie feeling which means for me to have a free spirit, open heart and mind.

2) Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

I never like those kind of questions because it makes me feel insecure. I’m 24 right now so in 5 years I will be 29, that’s old hahah no. Sometimes, I’m afraid of the future and I just don’t know what I want do in my life. I never have like a plan. I hopefully see myself in 5 years being even more happy with myself, have faced more fears, being able to deal better with my anxiety, doing things that makes me happy and make a career out of it. Hopefully, I also have travelled to more amazing and beautiful places in the world and have made more memories and aventures with the people I love in life. I see myself livinig in Spain or somewhere else where it’s sunny and near to the ocean where I can surf.

3) Who is most important to you and why?

Definitely, my mother! ❀ She is the one that always support me in everything in life and is just always there for me. I love her so much. She is a strong and beautiful woman ❀ She is also the person who learned me Spanish and for that I’m forever blessed. Thanks to being able to speak Spanish, I won the essay contest of New York City and spoke at the United Nations.

4) What are 3 blog posts that everyone should have on their blog?

3 blog post that should be on every blog are one about ending the stigma of mental health illnesses, #me too campaign, and travels. Those are really important subjects for me and always keep me interested in reading them.

5) What is one thing you can’t live without?

That’s a difficult question…. Maybe some people would say their phone haha, but actually I can live without it. It’s not a real need. One thing I surely can’t live without is: WATER. I think many people take for granted all the things we have yet in so many countries in the world people still don’t have access to water which is one of the primary needs during the life of a human being!!! We drink water, we wash our clothes with water, we shower, we cook,…. we need water. It’s also the best thing to drink in the Summer because it doesn’t make me more thirsty like fanta or coca cola that contains so much sugar. I just love water even if it’s tasteless haha. It’s the best thing in the world! ❀ It’s so damn refreshing! 😍


Step 5: Nominate 5-11 bloggers with under 200 followers

It was a bit difficult find bloggers with less than 200 followers haha but I found some amazing bloggers :).

toomuchtooyoungblog.wordpress.com

prometheanreport.wordpress.com

moonlightsandmacaroons.wordpress.com

inspiringdude.wordpress.com

writtenbyroxy.wordpress.com

annepersonalblog.wordpress.com

thescintillation.com

lavenderhearts.blog

thehappinesshunt.wordpress.com


Step 6: Ask your nominee some questions

I’m excited to read your answers! πŸ™‚

1) Do you believe in life after death and why?

2) What do you find most important in life?

3) What would you do with the money if you won the lottery?

4) What is your favourite season and why?

5) What do you want to change in this world and why?

I had soooo much fun writing this long blog post even though it cost me some time but here’s it is 😊. I hope you enjoy reading it.

Much love,

xoxo

 

 

#Me too – Men are responsible for their actions

Hey lovely bloggers πŸ’ž,

I’m gonna write a subject which I always have had on my mind. It’s just something that really hits me hard and I guess more women can understand this and feel the same way. I’m sorry I’m cursing sometimes but this subject just really make me angry.

​Me too.

If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote “Me too.” as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem. 

Women all over the world are tweeting or posting this on social media to make aware of this big problem. It is not just about one women, it’s all about millions of women who have been sexually harrased or assaulted in their lives.

I’m gonna share some of my experiences. I always felt ashamed of it. I felt like it was all my fault. I have had times where I was drunk and boys made use of this even when I didn’t want. People may say it’s all my fault. IT’S FUCKING NOT. This problem is a men issue too! Men are responsible for their fucking actions.

I have experienced so many times that I felt unsafe outside because men were shouting dirty things to me or catcalling me. I hate it so much. When I go out clubbing and am almost near to my house, I have the key of my house in my hand in case in case I see a scarry man to open my house door in just one second.  I think many women can relate to this feeling. Why do women have to feel unsafe all the time? We are used to grow up in a world where we are told since we are little that we have to be careful and that we as women have to feel unsafe all the fucking time. They don’t say that to boys. It’s just so unfair. We should raise boys and girls the same way.

We should educate girls and boys the same way. We should let boys know that they are responsible for their actions. It doesn’t matter if a girl is wearing a dress or not. This doesn’t determine their consent. We should educate boys to respect girls and when they say NO, it’s no. We should educate girls to speak up and learn to say no. 

I have had so many times where I walked alone at night after clubbing with my friends that boys said dirty things to me. This also occured to me during day time. This is something I never wanted to share because I felt so damn ashamed. Even my first love, you know my first boyfriend ever, that one person you love and trust…. well he was the one that many times crossed my boundaries and even said to me like: “If I don’t have sex with you before I’m 18, then I will go to the whores in Amsterdam”. Thinking of it now, he wasn’t that nice because if one person don’t respect your NO, that person isn’t good for you and just not worth it.

Also one time when I was going out with a friend in a city in the North of Spain (Santander) a boy said to me in the bar: “YOU LOOK LIKE I COULD FUCK YOU NOW” I showed him the middle finger and went outside and felt so fucking angry. Where is your fucking respect to a women?! I am forever a feminist and believe in equal rights between women and men. Both should be treated equally and with respect. 

Another story I’m going to share now is one which took place during gym in high school. This gym teacher was always saying dirty things to the girls like calling them honey and stuff. He also said one time to a girl: “Oh you must be on your period, right because you are angry?” Like, what the fuck are you saying. You have no right to say that. So, one time I brought some gym stuff back to a dark room. All my classmates were in the clothing room and were away. Then suddenly, he gave me like a hug or wanted to touch me… anyways something really strange and dirty. I said: “What the hell are you doing?”. He said: “It’s a rugby tackle”. I ran away crying to the dressing room.  Since then, I never felt safe again surrounded men. I hated gym so much becausd I always felt insecure and got bullied. Some popular girls saw me crying and asked me why and I never told them. I should have gone to the director of my high school and tell him. Now, it’s too late but now I’m 24 years old and say all things straight away. I was only 15 years old….. 

Women can wear dresses and lipstick and all stuff their want. Why does society always fucking blame the women when they get sexually harassed or assaulted and say stuff like: “Were you out at night?, “What were you wearing?”, “Did you drink?. It’s never the women’s fault. We should look at the action of the boys, they are fucking responsible for their actions.

I hope more women speak open about the things that happened to them so we can beat this problem πŸ’œπŸ‘ You are not alone. You are here to open up and speak about it. You don’t have to feel ashamed. Men are responsible for their actions. We should also talk with the men to prevent all of this. 

I’m here for you all πŸ’ž 

Much love,

xoxo