Summer book reviews ๐Ÿ“š

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’ž,

I am happy to announce that I’m reading like never before. I’m reading so much these days. It’s my favourite thing to do. Reading is the best for my mental health too ๐Ÿ’–. It’s so relaxing. I love to read nowadays in the garden and on the beach with this sunny ๐ŸŒž weather. I will share some of my book reviews from the last months. I hope you will like it.

They both die at the end – Adam Silvera

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I give this book 3 stars because to be honest I liked it but not that much as others liked it. Sometimes books get overhyped. I heard so many good things about this book that I was like yesss let’s read this. I think it was the same with this one. I liked it but not like wowww. For me, it was not a life changing book. It was also strange that someone called them saying they were going to die that certain day. Also, the end of the book is just really abrupt. I felt like it would be better if the end was more slowly. I didn’t like such a fast end. I just have read better books than this one. Maybe other books from Adam Silvera will be good to read. We will see.

Where the crawdads sing – Delia Owens

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Omgggg this book was so good! I have read it so fast. I just couldn’t put it down. I can’t believe it’s a debut. I can’t wait for the movie this July. Also, Taylor Swift is making a song for the movie. Everything is soooo beautiful written in the book. Nature is so beautiful described. Really. Living in nature is more easier than living in our society. I so agree. The whole story is so beautiful made. Every detail in the book is so good. The characters were also so beautiful described. I can’t wait to read more books of her. This book made my heart and soul so happy. This is one of the best books I have read until now. I really wish there would be more books like this one to read.

Everything I know about love – Dolly Alderton

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Again a totally overhyped book. Sorry, no I’m not sorry. I thought it would be a great one and it is but just not much than that. I really liked some chapters but reading all the time about drunk parties and having sex with random guys made me feel uncomfortable. I find it disturbing to read all the time the same things. Like you have to know all of that before you turn thirty?! Nowadays, so many people are writing these kind of books like a biography of their lives. I find it boring to be honest. There were some good quotes in the book but just overall I don’t give it more than three stars.

Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine – Gail Honeyman

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This book is amaaaazing! I LOVED IT SO MUCH. It’s so good. It’s a story about grief and loneliness. This book came on the right time. I really feel that loneliness at times is so hard. It still feels like a taboo to feel lonely. There is also a big difference in being alone and feeling lonely. You can be alone and okay. With loneliness there are other factors involved. You can feel lonely even though you are surrounded by people. Maybe you are surrounded by the wrong people. Maybe you just feel lonely in life. I really love Eleanor so much. I care about her. I loved the funny stories of her and how she lived her life. Her mother was the worst. Feel sorry for Eleanor. This is also a debut like whaaaaat?! I can’t wait to read more amazing books of Gail Honeyman.

You and me on vacation – Emily Henry

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I LOVED THIS BOOK so much! Such an easy Summer book. I really love Poppy and Alex so much. They are so cute together. I loved their love story. I could really enjoy this story so much and I read it really fast. I can’t wait to read more books of Emily Henry. She is such a great writer. This book will just touch your heart.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all liked it. Did you read any of these books? Did you like them? What are you reading now? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’ž,

xoxo Christina

Summertime Sadness โ˜๏ธ

I just woke up. It’s already afternoon. I don’t care because it’s Summer. This is my time to let go and just feel free. Right now all I feel is Summertime Sadness. Lana Del Rey is amazing and I feel her music. Life is just really strange and changes so fast. I feel nostalgic for all the past times. I miss my dad a lot. Sometimes I’m just drinking something in a bar and then I feel an instant feeling of sadness. I wasn’t even aware of how sad I felt at that moment. I didn’t even know where that sadness came from.

Then I come home and feel really sad and begin to cry. The good thing about crying is that it makes you fall asleep. It is also so good for your nerves. Crying release so many emotions and SO much tension in your body. When someone says you are weak because you cry a lot, then just ignore this person. They certainly don’t know anything about mental health. We need to cry. Humans need to cry. We are the only species on this earth who can actually show these kind of emotions.

That sadness I felt was just my longing for my dad. It’s been almost a year now. In October it will one year of missing him. I don’t know how time passes by so fast. It’s strange to be in Spain and not have any calls of him. I remember his calls of being angry at me and saying you have to go to the dentist!!!! These kind of little things just mean so much now. There’s nothing that can make me feel better at that moment and that is okay. Sometimes all you have to do is just sit with that emotion, feel it and let it go.

Life is just hard. Loosing someone is the hardest and also the most vulnerable feeling you can feel. To love and let go is what life is all about. Accepting it and feeling all of it. It means that the love you felt for your loved ones was real and still is even though that person isn’t there physicallly anymore. I love you daddy. I know you would be proud of me. I wrote again a story for a writing contest. If I win it’s because you are the light that guide me my way in life. You are the moon that I look up to on the nights I can’t sleep. You are the stars that shine brightly in the dark sky. Always there for us.

Life is also beautiful. I am grateful for all the time spent with my daddy together with my lovely family. I am also grateful for the bad times. It teaches us the big life lessons which you can’t always learn from the good moments in life. In the bad moments you learn who your real friends are and who will always be there for you. Everyone can be there in the good moments but being there in the worst periods of your life is something else. Those are the people who will always be there for you. Those are the kind of lifetime people who will be there for you no matter what.

The only constant in this world, in this life is change. People change. Seasons change. The world is constantly moving. Panta rei kai oudรฉn mรฉnei is what my daddy always said. It’s Greek and means everything flows, nothing stands still which is so true. He was a theology teacher and saw religion as science. When I talked about how I’m afraid of death he always said to enjoy life because when you aren’t there anymore you can’t enjoy it. He said that it would be the same before you were born. I was always talking so deeply with my dad and laughing so much. I miss that the most.

Life is changing each day. I’m here. It’s all unvolving the way it has to be. Nothing stays the same. Nothing last forever. At the end it’s good because that way you appreciate more things. Never take anyone or anything for granted. Love each other โค. Love overcomes anything in life and is the most constant and fluid flow in life.

Never forget that we are all connected. We are all one with the world. One love ๐Ÿ’ž๐ŸŒ

Celebrating Midsummer ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ”ฅ๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒธ ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ”ฎ๐Ÿฆ‹๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒž

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’ž,

I’m back with a nice blog post about celebrating Midsummer. I LOVE Summer. If you read my blog you know that I have always and always will be a Summer girl ๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ’–. It’s my favourite season ever. Nature is beautiful. Trees are stunning. Flowers are blooming. The sky is blue. You hear kids playing in the park. Love is everywhere. What I love the most is more daylight!!! Thank God for the sun who brighten our lives and days. It gives you so much good energy.

So, we celebrated Saint John festivity. It’s after the Summer solistice. It’s such a nice fiesta. In Spain I always celebrated with a big bonfire ๐Ÿ”ฅ. You write three wishes and throw them in the fire or you write down some negative stuff and throw it in the fire. There are also students who put their books or homework from all the year into the fire hahaa.

I love my therapy group at Lievegoed. I didn’t went for a few weeks. I was not feeling well but then I actually have to go. I was also with my period and not feeling okay. It was nice to see everyone again. I feel so loved and seen there. I feel respected too. It’s so important. I have missed to feel this way at times in my life so to be in a group where you are feeling all the love is so special and sacred. Also the psychologists and other people from the team were there. They are all so kind. So lovely. It’s a blessing to be there.

We celebrated San Juan in the garden. It was beautiful weather. So sunny, 30 degrees omg which is so hot in The Netherlands!! ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿคฃ We were making flower crowns with fresh and beautiful flowers. It was a bit difficult at times but with help I could make it. There was also delicious food. It was all natural without sugar and gluten. It was also vegan. It was so good. I loved the chocolate pie, the salad and wraps. I drank loads of water too because it was so hot but I still had kinda headaches. I also loved the fruit. When it’s Summer it’s important to drink a lot and eat light food. I love fruits and salad ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ“๐Ÿฅฆ๐Ÿฅ—.

One woman was reading us a story about San Juan. It was really nice. I wrote some wishes and some stuff I wanna let go of. I threw it into the fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ. Then we also jumped through the fire. It was super nice. They say it brings luck so let’s hope so ๐Ÿ€. I did my best hahaha. We also sang and dance. There was a man who was playing the guitar. It was like a mantra song about how we are all connected to each other and are one with the world ๐ŸŒ. It was so sacred and special. I really felt so at one with everyone and with nature.

I will show you some beautiful pictures from the day. I wish you guys were here too. I’m sure you would have loved it. I can’t wait to celebrate it again. I already miss these beautiful moments so much. It sometimes seems like the most beautiful moments passes faster than bad moments. They seem to last longer or it’s just that you keep that bad feeling longer.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you all liked it. Have you ever celebrated Midsummer? Have you ever made flower crowns? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’–,

xoxo Christina

My 29th birthday ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’ซ๐Ÿ’™๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿท๐ŸŽ‚๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿคฉ๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒท๐Ÿงœโ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒˆ

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’ž,

It’s my birthday today. I’m turning 29 years YOUNG haha. Omggg last year of being in my twenties. It feels strange. Age is just a number, right?! It matters more how you feel in your body, in your mind and soul. The rest is just made up by society rules who are bullshit. Everyone deserves to live a nice life regarding which age you have. If you are breathing and living then you still have enough time to make all your dreams come true. Enough time for adventures ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’–, laughs and travels.

29 and more me than ever ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿš๐Ÿฆ‹๐ŸŒž๐Ÿˆ๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿฑ๐ŸŒฑ๐Ÿ„๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’๐ŸŽ Blessed. Playful. Adventurous. Creative. Loved. My inner child healing.

I always crave a simple and fulfilling life. The less you own, the more happier you are. I truly believe that owning experiences and travels is more important than anything in the world. You can have thousand of euro’s but if you aren’t healthy or if you are unhappy then it doesn’t even matter. I really am thankful for my health. For my body. For my heart for always being open and caring. For being sensitive because that’s me. Being more and more myself is the most important way to live my life. Just being my authentic self which means being adventurous, playful and creative.

I still suffer from anxiety and depression at times but I’m happy it’s not that bad as it used to be. I was really ill last year. I feel more in sync with myself this year. Life changes constantly. Only love is always there. Since the loss of my beloved daddy in October I appreciate more things, give more love to the ones I love and just enjoy the little things because those are the big ones in life.

Of course, I love to get presents, cake and cards for my birtday ๐ŸŽˆ but it’s not the most important thing. I love to celebrate it with the ones I love. I’m a bit sick these days. My throat hurts. I will celebrate it at night with fondue with my mamita, brother and his wife. I miss my daddy. I wish to get a hug from him ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ’–. I will get one in my dreams. He always gave me the best presents together with my mamita. He always gave me money and last year I got the perfume from Ariana Grande. I will use it today too. I will celebrate it another day with my friends here and in Spain.

Birthdays are just more special when you are younger I guess. I really crave those moments of being a child. I also enjoy growing older and wiser and crazier hahaha. I just love to be that innocent child. To be honest, I still have that child in me. Most people think I’m in my teenage years so yeah haha better for me. It’s important to enjoy your inner child and let that inner child out. If you listen more to it then you will also do more things you truly crave for and like.

I also didn’t cry this time on my birthday. I’m just enjoying myself without any exceptations. It’s much better this way. I don’t feel that emotional. Just okay and it’s good. I already suffered way too much these years so it’s good to feel a bit normal for once. Not that being emotional is bad but I don’t like to feel depressed or anxious of course. Accepting myself is just really important in order to follow my dreams and to do the things I love to do.

I’m really happy for all your love, support and beautiful words which I have received over all these years. I really don’t know where I would be without this amazing space where I can vent whenever I want. I love you with all my heart. I wish to travel soon and I can’t wait to meet you all. We are always in this together ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ™. We will always be there for each other.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. Do you like your birthday? Do you have any birthday ritual you do? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

I love you all so much ๐Ÿ’ž,

xoxo Christina

Vivid dreams ๐Ÿ’ญ

Hey lovelies ๐Ÿ’ž,

I’m going to share about my vivid dreams I’m having lately. It’s strange and sometimes feel like a nightmare. I really don’t like it then. This is also a result because of taking antidepressants. I have these vivid dreams now often. I know that many people who take antidepressants have these kind of strange dreams.

I dreamt that my daddy was angry at me. I dream that sometimes. Then I wake up being afraid and feeling not okay. Once I felt like a horrible daughter for dreaming like that. I had a breakdown and cried. I know it ain’t true but my brain makes me think sometimes awful things about myself. Besides, we are more tend to believe all the negative parts of ourselves than the positive parts.

I have had these kind of dreams often. My dad was sometimes angry at us but I know he wanted the best for us and loved us all very much. His anger made me have a trauma. I am anxious of people being angry at me. That comes from the past. From my daddy and from teachers who were angry at me and all the years kids bullied me. I think that it’s also a process of griefing. I just miss my dad very much. What I miss the most is to talk about the universe, love and just anything.

Just sometimes these kind of dreams are too intensive and can make me wake up in sweat. I don’t like to have these kind of nightmares. I love to dream but not that intense. I just don’t know what to do about it. If I stop one day with antidepressants then we will see wh happens. One day I dream that my dad is alive and then he is death again. It’s all so strange.

I don’t know what would happen the moment I quit with Zoloft. If I ever forget to take my antidepressants then I feel brain zaps. I also can wake up in sweat. I take them now for almost one year. Maybe I would still have vivid dreams. Dreams can always be strange though. I remember my daddy saying that he was also dreaming a lot when he was in coma. He was dreaming of a ship were everyone was praying. After two weeks he woke up in intensive care. He definitely had a trauma from the hospital.

I just wish to have nice dreams too and not only have nightmares. My daddy loved fishing so I wish to dream about being on a boat and just enjoying our time together. He always said to me that that would calm me. You have to have a lot of patience too. He used to fish alone somewhere in a lake. Being one with nature is the best. Nature doesn’t judge you. It is there alive like we all are.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. Do you also have vivid dreams? Do you take medication too? How do you feel? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’–,

xoxo Christina

Spring bucketlist 2022 ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒž๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒป

Holaaaaa lovelies ๐Ÿ’ž,

One of my favourite times of the year is here: IT IS SPRING!!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฅณ๐ŸŒท I’m so happy because Spring means we are closer to my favourite season of the year which is Summer. Summer is the love of my life ๐ŸŒž. I have so many plans for this Spring. I will try to pick the most important plans I have. A list of 10 things is always good otherwise it’s too much and then nothing happens.

1. Visiting flower fields ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒธ

I LOVE the flower fields in The Netherlands. It’s so beautiful!! Spring time is the best period to visit The Netherlands because of the weather and the beautiful tulips. I can’t wait to visit the flower fields and also the tulip park called Keukenhof. It’s the most beautiful tulip park in the world. It’s full of beautiful flowers. There are more than 7 million bulbs planted. It’s incredible and also full of tourists.

2. Celebrate Easter ๐Ÿฃ

I love celebrating Easter time with my family. I would love to make some decoration on eggs. The chocolate is delicious. This Easter it will be different without my beloved daddy but we will make the best of it. We will also celebrate my brother’s birthday which is the 18th of April. I will also celebrate Easter at my therapy group. Everyone will bring something delicious to eat. I will make tortilla de patata with mamita which is typical Spanish food ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฆ. Everyone is waiting with huge expectation for it ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ.

3. Enjoy the sunshine ๐ŸŒž

I can’t wait to enjoy the sunshine in the garden and just be able to read there. I also love to take some walks or bike rides in the park. The sun is just so important for our health. I feel more energy in my body and much happier when it’s sunny. In Holland you have to enjoy it while it last because you never know when it’s coming back ๐Ÿคฃ. The people here go crazy when there is one ray of sunshine.

4. Do some yoga ๐Ÿง˜๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ

I do yoga sometimes but I would love to do it more. I used to do it so many times a week. There was even a time I did it everyday. I just wish to do it more and also outside when it’s sunny. Hopefully I can go back to some kind of routine. When you do it for yourself online it’s different then in a class. Maybe that’s why I get less motivated sometimes hahaha ๐Ÿคฃ. I love to do yoga online with Yoga Girl. I also like Yoga with adrienne. It’s good for my back and neck pain. It helps me to calm down too.

5. Plant some seeds ๐ŸŒฑ

I LOVE gardening so much right now!!!! I also do it during therapy and I’m learning so much. It’s so good for you to do. At home I’m already planting some amazing plants and flowers like strawberries, basil, chives, rosemary, flowers, sunflowers which are growing so well!!! ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒป I also bought a mint a plant for mint thea and lavender. It’s so beautiful to watch something grow. It makes you feel at one with nature. It also make you feel that everything goes slowly. Nature doesn’t know hurry. You can take all the time in your life. There is no need to hurry. Having hurry is mostly not good for you. It would be so good if everyone plants their own stuff. It would help the whole world.

6. Have a picnic ๐Ÿท๐Ÿธ๐Ÿน๐Ÿฅ—๐Ÿ‡

I would love to do a picnic at the beach or somewhere in the park with my friends and family. It’s an amazing idea and also low budget. You can just bring some pizzas, sangria, some veggies and fruits and just enjoy e on a sunny day ๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ˜.

7. Spend time in nature ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ๐Ÿ•๐ŸŒŠ

Nature is here to enjoy it and to take care of it. Mother earth is always there when we need it. In the Spring time nature is more beautiful than ever. It’s an awakening also called a rebirth of the earth. I can’t wait to enjoy some sunny days om the beach and also in the park.

8. Try some new hairstyles ๐Ÿ’†โ€โ™€๏ธ

I would love to enjoy some new hairstyles. I don’t mean cutting it down because I never can change anything of my long hair haha. I will love to try some other hairstyles like having a braid or beach hair. I watched some videos on Youtube and it looks kinda cool to try. I hope I can do it and otherwise my mother can help me too.

9. Have a Spring clean ๐Ÿช 

Spring is the perrrfect time for cleaning and decluttering. Since my daddy died we are bring loads of stuff to the charity shops and I’m changing stuff in my room too. I would also love to donate some more and maybe sell some stuff. It feels so good to have an organized home. It helps you to be at peace in your mind aswell. I was really chaotic and so messy. If my daddy would see me cleaning my room he would definitely think I’m totally sick hahahah ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚. He always said that to me when I was doing some cleaning. He knew I  didn’t like to do it. When it’s done it feels amazing. It’s so much better for your whole health too.

10. Just enjoy it and be still ๐Ÿ™

For the rest, it’s just important to be still and just enjoy this season. You don’t have to do anything but just enjoy it. It’s not about reaching goals. It’s just about being there in the moment. If you don’t are present then you miss all the beauty in life. So, this is the season to be still. You are enough. You are loved and you are here to be. Just to be and nothing more. Always remember that.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. What is on your bucketlist for this Spring? How are you feeling? What is your favourite season? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’ž,

xoxo Christina

I forgive myself ๐ŸŒธ

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’ž,

I just want to share something that is on my mind lately and also something I have been working on during therapy these weeks. I’m doing now acceptance and commitment therapy. It’s such a good therapy. Everyone could benefit from it. You don’t have to be mentally ill to benefit from it. I truly believe that in general therapy benefits everyone. You get tools and learn to understand yourself more and this world. It’s just so good. You are not weak to ask for help. Everyone needs help and support in their lives. We were never meant to do anything alone. Like the guru Ram Dass said: “We are all just walking each other home.” This is just the truth. We have to be there for each other.

So during this therapy it’s about accepting our feelings and thoughts. It’s about mindfullness. The only real thing is right now. I want to do more yoga and be more present. Doing a meditation helps me so much to calm down ๐Ÿ™. Sometimes it’s hard to be present and not focus on your thoughts. I’m learning that mindfullness is not about not having thoughts it’s just about accepting that you have thoughts and then focus again on your breath. It helps so much to just be present. Your breath have always been your anchor โš“

This therapy is also about accepting all your thoughts, the good and the bad ones. It’s about forgiving yourself. We all have so many stories of ourselves that we keep repeating like that we are not good enough, or not worth it. Basically we all have stories in our mind that we keep repeating ourselves that doesn’t make sense. In these stories we think we found the truth but it isn’t true. It keeps us stuck in the past of things that happened to us.

Sometimes when we feel an emotion it’s not because of that moment but it’s something that happened years ago. It’s really strange how our mind and body works. We think something and then we feel the emotion. Or we just feel the emotion without the thought itself. For example, I was walking down the street in the city and felt anxious. It’s because I’m thinking: “help, I don’t wanna see someone who bullied me in the past or someone I know who wants to know about my life.” It’s just bullshit. I’m worth it and I don’t have to care about. I just feel those heartbeats and that anxiety. It’s something I felt in the past but that emotion got stuck in your body. That’s what happens with trauma.

Just a few days ago I found again the high heels of my ex in my room. In that moment I could feel myself being angry. I had to wear high heels because of my ex. He said that I would look like a model and that every woman could walk on it. It was just a way to say that I had to wear it for him. He said it would make me feel more confident. I felt more insecure every time I had to wear them. I felt that emotion of being angry at myself because of letting myself go and pleasing others. I felt that angry punch in my heart and body. It’s something that happened years ago but I could feel that emotion of being angry again. Years ago I just did what he said. Now I think how could I have been so stupid. What’s important in that moment like I learn in therapy is to accept it all for what it is. I have to forgive myself. On that moment I couldn’t have done it better.

I said to myself that I forgive myself. I’m who I’m today because of my past. I’m learning to forgive myself. Those are not mistakes. Those are lessons. At the end we can only grow from all the things that happened in our lives. I forgive myself and give love to my past self. Sending love to yourself is the most important thing to do. You did what was right. You couldn’t have done it better. It’s okay. Stop being hard on yourself. I wouldn’t change for anyone right now. I’m learning to accept myself and to love myself for who I am with all my mistakes and regrets.

It’s just so important to make peace with our past. We did the best we can at that moment. Forgiving others is for yourself. It’s hard to accept to forgive people who did you harm like people who bullied you. Maybe they didn’t know better. They are not worth to think about. They just don’t know how much trauma it gives you. Forgiving is hard but at the end it’s worth it. I am still in the process of forgiving myself and healing myself. It’s a never ending process. It is a whole journey to love, be proud and kind of yourself.

Thank you all for reading my blog post. How do you forgive yourself? Can you relate to my words? How do you make peace with your past? I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’ž,

xoxo Christina

Songs I’m loving right now ๐Ÿ’ž๐ŸŽถ

Holaaaa lovelies ๐Ÿ’ž,

This is a positive post about some songs I’m loving right now. I’m just so done with all the negative news in the world right now. I think a bit of positivity is really needed. We should never forget to be of service in this world but we have to take care of ourselves first. We can’t run on an empty cup. I donated money for the ngo organization to help the people in Ukraine. Let’s stop this endless suffering ๐Ÿ™. War makes no sense ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ.

Olivia Rodrigo – good 4 u

I LOVE this song so much!!!! ๐Ÿ˜ It’s amazing. Olivia Rodrigo is one of my fav artists now. I wish to see her live soon. I always dance a lot on this song. I go crazy wiiiiiild when I put this song on. It’s the perfect song for a crazy dance party at home ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐ŸŽถ

Olivia Rodrigo – drivers license

Aahhhh I still love this song so much!! I can’t hear it enough. It’s emotional and so beautiful. I also love the vibes of the videoclip. It’s amazing. It makes me feel really calm listening to this.

Taylor Swift – Red (Taylor’s Version)

I love the album Red so much!!! I’m so happy she recorded her album again. This album is from her now. I LOVEEEE RED. This song is amazing. I always listen to this song when I go biking. It makes me happy!!

Taylor Swift – Willow

Willow is one of my favourite songs of her album evermore. It’s so beautiful. Also the clip is just heaven. All the witchy vibes!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿง™๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ”ฎ It’s just so magical wow.

Adele – Easy on me

Another power woman!!! ๐Ÿ˜ Adele is back with a new album and OMG I loveee it so much!! Easy on me is such a beautiful song. I’m so happy she is back with an album full of her powerful songs. This power song is the best. Her voice is amazing.

Ed Sheeran – Shivers

I loveeeee Ed Sheeran!!! This is such an awesome song of his new album. It makes me go dancing and just be happy and all. It puts you in a good mood as soon as you play it. Also Ed is just so talented!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Stromae – L’enfer

Stromae is such a talented artist!! L’enfer is an amazing song. It’s about suicidal thoughts and depression. He suffered from this too. It’s such a heartbreaking song ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿฅบ. I love how he made this song possible to let people know they aren’t alone with their thoughts and struggles. I also love French so much. It makes the song even more personal and touching.

S10 – De diepte

Stien is going to represent The Netherlands ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ during this Eurovision Song Contest in Italy. Honestly this song could just win. She sings about her own battles. She suffered from psychoses and depression. She is such a strong woman. This song is about the depth of feeling it all and going through it. She said that it is a tribute to the sadness and memories that you carry with you. Everyone experiences difficult times in their lives. That’s something we all have in common and she hopes you will feel less alone when you listen to this song. The chorus is also amazing!! It keeps you captivated.

Camila Cabello ft. Ed Sheeran – Bam Bam

Omgggg this song!!!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ‘ŒI love Camila Cabello and Ed Sheeran so much. This song is just so incredible. It makes me SO happy. Spanish vibess owhh yeahhh ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฆ. I can’t wait to dance on it this Summer all night long ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ. Life is to enjoy it and to keep dancing even though it can be super hard. Sigue bailando means keep on dancing. I also can’t wait for her new album called Familia which means family.

Rigoberta Bandini – Ay Mama

Rigoberta sang this song for the Spanish final of Eurovision. It was not chosen but it’s an amazing song. This song is about a revolution of being a woman. It’s about praising having your period and about praising your feminine parts. God is a woman. Like definitely. Our bodies are all sacred. Never forget that your body is your temple forever โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ญ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you listened to the amazing songs. Which song is your favourite from this list? To which song do you listen often? Let me know. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’ž,

xoxo Christina

My first poetry book is finally published!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“–

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’ž,

I have always wanted to write a book. In this blog post I will tell you all about it. I’m happy and proud of myself that I finally published my debut poetry book. I have always loved writing as you guys know. That was also the reason I started with this blog. Writing is healing. Writing is what keeps me sane. Books are the best ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ’–.

A few months ago I saw an ad on Instagram. It was about publising a book. I did this challenge. I have always wanted to publish a book. Writing is something which comes natural for me. I write and that’s why I exist. I exist and therefor I write. Thank you @bookleafpublishing for helping me in this process. I’m really happy about the cover, the design and everything. It’s so beautiful made! I wanted the sea ๐ŸŒŠ on the cover because my blog is called Sea of words. I’m also a mermaid forevah ๐Ÿงœโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿงšโ€โ™€๏ธ. The title is called from Darkness to light. It’s about being in the dark like depression wise and within the years you get through the light.

I have fighted with my demons for days, months, years and now I feel more light in my life ๐Ÿ’ก๐Ÿ•ฏ. I’m really happy to be in this place right now. There will always be dark moments in your life but you just have to remember that nothing last forever. When you have been in the darkness for so long you think you will never ever be in the light. You also get used to the darkness.

This book is a collection of 21 poems about life, mental health, love, heartbreak. I have written them in many years. I have more poems left which will go in other books I will write during my life. This is my debut poetry book. I’m really proud of myself. This book is dedicated to my daddy who have always believed in me writing a book. I’m a daughter of my father. Both writers and readers for life ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’ซ.

This book will remind you all that you are never alone. The book is available on the bookstore as paperback on Amazon here. You can pay it on there. It only cost โ‚ฌ6.50, not that expensive haha. You can pay it with creditcard.

I have written this book for myself, for my daddy, for my family and for my friends. I have written this for my mental health community. For anyone who is dealing with any mental health illness, feel alone or is going through a hard time, this book is for you. I hope you all will like it. I hope many of you will buy it and like it! Let me know if you purchase it. Thank you for being there for me and for all these years of believing in me. I couldn’t have done this without all of your support. You all mean da world of me ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿฅฐ.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. Do you like poetry? Have you ever written a book? I would also love to write a novel one day if I can. Hopefully more books will follow. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Love you all ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’žโค๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œ

xoxo Christina

January book reviews ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ’–

Hola lovelies ๐Ÿ’ž,

I’m sometimes not feeling okay mentally and also physically. I feel dizzy a lot and unstable. It comes from my ears. Hopefully they can find something for it. Hopefully better times are coming. I really need it ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ™. I feel lonely at times. Reading helps me cope. I hope you guys are doing great. Today I want to write about my January book reviews ๐Ÿ“š. I read some amazing books which I wanna share with you.

Wonder – R.J. Palacio

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This book was amazing!!! So beautiful. I bought this book in Spain because I heard so much good reviews about it. It was also an easy book to read. Sometimes it was strange to find not many pages for one chapter. It also described each character in the book really great. It’s a beautiful story about a boy who just want to be accepted for who he is and not for how he looked like. I think it’s such a brave thing. This book just shows again how important kindness is in this world ๐ŸŒ and how much we need a supported community in life. If we all could be more kinder than for sure the world would be a better place to live in. If only we could wish for that and make it happen.

โ€œWhen given the choice between being right or being kind choose kind.โ€

โ€œI think there should be a rule that everyone in the world should get a standing ovation at least once in their lives.โ€

โ€œCourage. Kindness. Friendship. Character. These are the qualities that define us as human beings, and propel us, on occasion, to greatness.โ€

โ€œThe best way to measure how much you’ve grown isn’t by inches or the number of laps you can now run around the track, or even your grade point average– though those things are important, to be sure. It’s what you’ve done with your time, how you’ve chosen to spend your days, and whom you’ve touched this year. That, to me, is the greatest measure of success.โ€ 

Home Body – Rupi Kaur

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This is the third poetry book of Rupi Kaur. I love it so much. I also love to write poetry and I’m going to publish a poetry book too. It’s such a beautiful book. I also love the different chapters. The poems make me feel something. Also the book begins with depressive poems and ends with more uplifiting and awakening poems. I think it’s a beautiful way to go through this book. The poems about depression and anxiety hit me hard. Unfortunately I can feel the words cracking into my bones. The poems about feminism and feeling good about yourself are also really touching. I can’t wait to go to one of her live tours. That would be such a beautiful experience.

The Midnight Library – Matt Haig

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Omgggg this book!!!! This book kept me up for many nights because this story is amazing and so relatable. It’s about Nora Seed who wants to end her life but then at midnight she comes in a library ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ’ซ. Between life and death there is a library. There she can choose any book and live that life. She has a lot of regrets in her life. It’s about knowing that we have endless choices and opportunities in life. Each life we live has good and bad stuff. I can feel that I also have a lot of regrets in life and what ifs. What if I would go singing again? What if I just could stop being anxious about life and actually live? What if I could just run away and travel the world? Could I make a living of writing? When will I make my dreams come true? I identify SO much to her story and also the life she lives. I love singing, writing and swimming. This was also what my psychiatrist said in one talk last year. When I heard it I didn’t agree but now I do. He said that I’m a good women and there’s no wrong or right way to live just my own way. He also said that I have endless opportunities and that I’m still so young. That makes me scary too because I often feel like I’m wasting life and I really want to be able to make my dreams come true. I don’t want to be depressed and anxious so much. I don’t want to think so much about everything and just live but that’s more difficult to do. There were so many beautiful quotes in the book. I will share some of my favourites to you all ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’ซ. Matt Haig is an amazing writer. He is one of my favourites writers about mental health.

All The Bright Places – Jennifer Niven

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This was such an emotional book. So beautiful!!! ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’ž I really felt the whole story. Theodore and Violet are such a beautiful couple. Theodore Finchย is fascinated by death, and he constantly thinks of ways he might kill himself. But each time, something good, no matter how small, stops him. Violet Markeyย lives for the future, counting the days until graduation, when she can escape her Indiana town and her aching grief in the wake of her sisterโ€™s recent death. She learns from a boy who wants to die. This is such an heartbreaking story. I’m not going to tell any more of the plot. I could indentify myself so much in so many ways. It’s not a typical book about mental health. It really makes you feel something. The characters feel so real. This story just shows us that everyone can love someone no matter their circumstances. We all deserve love. I also can’t wait to watch the movie. I’M JUST AFRAID IT WILL BE SO EMOTIONAAAAAAL!! Have anyone watched it? Did you like it?

โ€œSuddenly Iโ€™m having one of those moments that you have after losing someone – when you feel as if youโ€™ve been kicked in the stomach and all your breath is gone, and you might never get it back. I want to sit down in the dirty, littered ground right now and cry until I canโ€™t cry anymore.โ€

I hope you all liked this blog post. Which book of my list have you read and did you like it? What’s your favourite book? Let me know. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love ๐Ÿ’ž,

xoxo Christina