Month: Sep 2017

The most beautiful people in life are the ones who have been through the worst 💫💭

30 Sep 2017

Hey lovelies 💕,

I love this quote so much 💕 This is definitely one of my favourite quotes 💫  I want to share some thoughts and feelings I have about this beautiful quote. Yoga girl (International yoga teacher based in Aruba, will share a blog post about her soon) just shared a post on Instagram about hard times in life where you feel like giving up and griefing in life. I can relate to this so well.

I have met many people in life. I came to the conclusion that the most beautiful people are the ones who have been through the worst. Those people know what loss, hard times, trauma, mental health issues, heartbreaks are or whatever they are going through. 

It’s the people who have suffer the most who come back stronger than ever before. I learned a lot when my father almost died when I was 11 years old. He had acute pancreatis and was sick for five years. He had to go through 6 surgeries. I can’t remember much of it. The things I remember were the fact that I was just hiding my feelings. I almost never cried. I was angry but on the outside I was smiling. It’s in my late teens and twenties that I’m crying when I think back of how much it hurt me.

I guess that’s why I’m always so afraid to loose people. Whenever my brother calls me I’m afraid something is wrong with my daddy because it happened a few times. I need to let go of this fear. It’s just that feeling of loosing someone that scares me so much. I just have to feel my feelings and let them go. All will be okay.

It’s those people who have been trough the worst that have a sense of sensitivity, appreciation and understanding in life. They have been through the worst but connect with life in a way other people can’t. They know what it’s to loose people, to want to give up on life, feeling sad but still move forward every day and always treat people with kindness ans respect. 

I love those people and I will never let them go 💕💫 Thank you for being in my life 😘

Much love,

xoxo

You are beautiful from the inside and the outside no matter what society tells you 💕💫

29 Sep 2017

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

I want to share a story about make up and body positivity. I hope that after you have read my story you will look in the mirrow and call yourself beautiful. You are beautiful no matter what society tells you. 

On some days I like to wear more make up than I have on this picture below just because I like it. I used to believe that only if I wear make up I would be considered beautiful. I learned that it’s just society who creates this judgement.

During high school some people bullied me because I wasn’t wearing make up until 16 years. One day, I decided to wear some make up because I felt like I was behind. I was the only girl of the class not wearing make up. That day some mean girls laughed and said to me: “hahaha are you wearing make up now?” I felt so bad. I felt like I would never be good enough. They will always find something to laugh about.

If girls wear too much make up people call them a slut, if they were no make up at all they are called ugly. Trust me, I have been there. It’s just never good enough. Fuck it. I just like to wear make up whenever I want it. Nobody has the right to judge me on that. I learned that you should never change your outside in order to be loved. The right people will love you because of the inside. We all grow old, it’s the beauty from your heart which counts. 

Nowadays, I like to wear less make up, only mascara and red lipstick. Less is more. I love my long hair on this picture too 💜💕💫👌 When I go to a party I like to wear more make up such as eye shadow and more mascara. I just do what feels right to me. 

You are beautiful with or without make up. Just do what feels right to you. Don’t do something against your will. Do it because it makes you feel good. Do it because it makes you happy. It’s all about self love. You are beautiful from the inside & outside no matter what society tells you 💕💜💫 

Much love,

xoxo

Stop the taboo of having periods 💭

22 Sep 2017

Hey lovelies 💕,

Today I wanna talk about women having periods. I write about how it’s still a taboo. Women shouldn’t feel ashamed when they have their period.

This is something which really makes me so angry in this world. Women are bleeding every month. I’m almost on my period and every time before my period I have PMS. This means that I’m even more anxious and have mood swings. I’m also more emotional and nauseous. This is really fucked up.

Why do we still act like talking about periods is a taboo? I remembered times were I felt ashamed of it. I remembered a time were I was in high school. One day we had a gym class. One girl was acting angry at the gym teacher. Then he said: “You must be on your period, right?” Like what the fucking hell are you talking about. If a woman is angry she is on her period?! Women have the right to express their feelings and thoughts. That doesn’t mean they are having their period. 

If only men experience what we experience every single fucking month to wouldn’t say anything anymore. Your hormones are changing, you just don’t feel like yourself anymore, you are bleeding, you have cramps and so much pain and just feel so bad…. that’s what it’s every single month. For some women it isn’t that hard but for me it’s. I’m happy I take Aleve Feminax which is a Dutch medicine and helps me sooooo much. If I don’t take it I can’t cope with my life because I’m in too much pain. 

Why are men still embarrased when we talk about this? Why do they act like it’s disgusting? Why do they make fun of us when we are having mood swings because of PMS? It is the most natural function of a womb. Once this was their home too and now they are ashamed of it. I just can’t seem to understand this. Women can get pregnant and can get babies. This is a beautiful thought which also scares me because there is also pain and struggles involved. To think of having a child one day is a beautiful thought.

I only want to have a relationship with a man who respects me and don’t feel ashamed of talking about periods. I know there are many out there who can actually talk about it and help women during this time. Thank you for being there. You make this world a better place 💕💫

Much love ♡,

xoxo

Do you think it’s possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return? 💕

21 Sep 2017

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

This blog post is coming right from my heart. Something that I can relate to in all the ways. I’m a highly sensitive person. Highly sensitive persons have nervous systems that are more sensitive than others and they process things more deeply. In other words, they feel more and love more. In another blog post I will explain more about being a highly sensitive person.

I have always been a giver. I give, give and give. I have always been the one that pleased people. I have always been the one that loves more and deeply. I have always wanted to make sure everybody was happy. I never thought of myself. It was always them, never about me.

This can be a good thing but when you give too much and receive too little it can be a real problem in your life. If you only give and you aren’t receiving as much back you can really feel out of energy and tired.

I stayed friends with people who made abuse of this situation. I found it hard to let friends go because you have a history with them. Now if I look back, I think by myself were that really my friends? Friends wouldn’t gossip about you, say rude comments and bully you.

I had a two year long distance relationship from 17 till 19 years old. He was from Switzerland and I was living in The Netherlands by that time. We were both young and crazy in love. Even in that relationship I felt like I loved him more than he loved me. I always felt like he had to say to me a million times “I love you” to make sure that he loved me. It’s my anxiety that made me feel like I was just never good enough. I was afraid to loose him. I have been bullied during my high school a lot and I think that was also the reason why I needed a constant afirmation that he loved me and that I was good enough for him. He broke up with me after two years. Life separated our ways. It wasn’t meant to be. I was lost for almost 4 years. I missed him like crazy, my first love…. It’s now when I feel more like myself again.

I love this beautiful quote from R.M. Drake. This is a beautiful writer on Instagram and has also written some amazing books. Go check him out! 💕 Why do I love people so much and

give them the best of me when I know they don’t derseve it at all? Why do I do this all the time? Really WHY? I think it’s because I always want everybody to be happy. I always think the best of people and care way too much. I always believe in the good of people. It’s just the way I’m.

 

Until today I still keep thinking of this beautiful quote which I found on Tumblr:

If I may answer this question, I would say definitely YESSSS! I am a highly sensitive person and that’s also the reason why I love and feel more. I really believe that there are people out in the world who give more love than they will ever receive back.

I used to believe it’s a curse to feel so much and love so hard but I began to realize it’s a blessing. I realized that it’s okay to love hard and feel everything so deeply. It’s a strength. We need more healers, dreamers and people who care about people in this sometimes dark world.

In order to be more in sync with my feelings I have to do these things:

  • I have to set boundaries with people
  • I have to let the past go (I’m doing much better than before)
  • I have to be surrounded only by people who really care about me such as my real friends and family
  • I have to say more NO
  • I have to love myself first before I fall in love again
  • I should stop pleasing people
  • I should make myself a priority before anybody else

I am in the process of all of these points. I am loving myself much more than when my first love broke up with me. I broke some friendships because those weren’t my friends. I say more no to things. However, I still have to do it all even more.

I am happy to love so much because that makes me feel alive. This is the way I’m and I’m not going to change that. I just have to make sure which people are the right people to love. We need people who love hard in this world.

A world without people that love so much as I do is a dark world without flowers… 

Much love,

xoxo

You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it 💫💕

19 Sep 2017

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

​I love this quote so much 💕

Here is a little story about it why I find thid quote so beautiful and why I can relate to it in many ways:

Life has its ups and downs but it’s a beautiful journey. We all face problems in our lives from health issues to job/school and relationship related problems. It’s all part of life.

I won’t say I’m happy of all the things that happened in my life but they made me stronger at the end. My father almost died when I was 11 years old. He had pancreatis with lots of complications and had to do 6 surgeries. Right now, he has diabetes but he is alive. That’s the best thing ever 💕 I’m really grateful of that. 

One time someone asked me how I could be smiling all the time when my father was lying in the hospital. I said that it’s just the way I’m and it’s also giving me the strength to carry on.

I have been bullied a lot during high school. From 17 till 19 years old I had my very first relationship and after 2 years my first love broke up with me. Life separated our ways. Some things aren’t meant to be. 

If I think back of this situations it’s normal that I suffer from anxiety. It all triggered anxiety. I’m always anxious if my brother calls me and say that’s urgent. Then I think that there’s something wrong with my daddy. I’m anxious to love again because I’m afraid to have a broken heart again. I’m anxious when people laugh in a group because I often think that they laugh about me when it’s not the point.

However, I also have learned great lessons from all of this. Having anxiety makes me even more aware how important self love is. I learned how important it is to always be grateful and say I love you to the people you love in life because you never know when it will be the last day you see that person. I’m still learning that thoughts aren’t facts. I learned that I can love a person with all my heart and receive it back 💜 Now, I know that I can love someone, someday again when the timing is right 💕 

Most of all, I learned that I’m strong enough in life to never give up and let the past go. You can always find a light in the darkness 💫

Never give up my strong bloggers 💕 Life has great plans for you. 

Much love,

xoxo

Stop romanticizing mental illness 💭

18 Sep 2017

Hey lovelies 💕,

This is just so true. Some people when they have a bad day easily say oh “I’m so depressed”. Others say way too soon to others when they are dealing with mood swings “Oh you are acting so bipolar”. I saw bloggers on Tumblr even posting pictures when they self harm and pictures of how depression makes them more creative and all this bullshit. 

I’m so done with that. There is nothing beautiful about having a mental illness. There’s nothing beautiful to want to die. There’s nothing beautiful to be anxious all the time. There’s nothing beautiful in self harming. Suffering from anxiety myself I don’t like it when I feel anxious, nauseous, not having control of my body and when I’m crying all the time. It’s just the worst feeling ever. 

Everybody can feel nervous or sad at one point in their lives. That’s normal in life. When you feel anxious, depressed for a long period of time and this doesn’t seem to go away then it’s more than just being nervous. It’s a mental illness when this is affecting your life in all areas and you just can’t seem to be happy and live your life.

So please, stop romantizing mental illness. I don’t follow depressing accounts because it just isn’t helping my anxiety. It’s making it worse. I love the inspiring instagrams and blogs. I love how it makes me feel connected and I love to know that I’m not alone. 

Thanks to the mental health community online I feel even more supportive. It’s just makes me so happy all those postcasts, blogs and posts with advice and positive vibes! 💜💫 Keep up the good work! Love you all! 💕 

Much love,

xoxo

We have to feel the pain in order to move on in life 

16 Sep 2017

Hey lovelies 💕,

​I once made this quote and wrote it in my journal 💭✒. I mean it’s just so true. 

We can feel an intense pain during hard times such as a when we get our heart broken or suffer from a loss of a loved one. We feel as if we can’t survive so much pain. Sometimes we try do ignore this pain because we think that if we have to feel this pain it will be just too much to handle. There will be too much tears. So, we try to escape. We try to escape in alcohol, bad relationships, social media, just anything to not feel this pain. We try to be numb instead of feeling our emotions.

This isn’t the way to heal yourself. You have to feel the pain in order to heal yourself from the unbelievable pain you are escaping from. It sounds strange but it really is the only way to feel better. If you are angry, be angry. If you feel the need to cry, cry as much as you want. If you feel alone, talk with a loved one about your feelings.

Within time, this pain will slowly fade away. Trust me, you will be okay again. It just take time. I experienced a really awful heartbreak. The person who loved me for two years left me heartbroken. I couldn’t think that the person who said he would never leave me wouldn’t keep his promise. I tried to escape in dating other boys, getting used, having more anxiety, feeling even worse about myself and drinking the pain away. This never worked out well for me… 💔 I wish I knew it before I did all of this. 

However, I learned from it. I stopped escaping from the pain and I let myself cry whenever I want to escape from the pain. I tried to do things which made me happy like reading, writing, blogging and travelling. I also talked with good friends and family about my feelings. All this made me feel so much happier than before 💫🙏

So, please don’t escape from your pain. Feel the pain in order to move in life. The pain will not last forever. You will be okay my lovelies 💕

Much love,

xoxo

Autumn tag; it’s almost fall! 🍁🍂🍃

15 Sep 2017

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

fall-is-here

It’s almost fall time. To be honest, I’m a summer girl but I really like fall too. I like fall because it’s reminds me that Christmas is just around the corner. That’s definitely the best time in the year, a time to celebrate life and being surrounded by the people we love in life 💜.

autumn-collage-fall-tumblr-Favim.com-3459546.jpg

I was tagged in this blog post by my lovely friend which I met online Chloe. You should all check her out. She is an amazing human being and has such a great blog! 💕

I’m going to tag 5 lovely bloggers for the autumn tag who should to the same blog as me:

Enjoy blogging my lovelies! 💜💜💜

Favourite Candle Scent?

My favourite Candle Scent is vanilla and lavender. I just love this scents so much. It smells so good.

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate?

I love tea so much. I love to drink yogi tea on a fall night. That’s a brand which has so many different flavours and every time you drink a cup of tea there is a quote. I am also a lover of hot chocolate with cream and canela. I love to drink a hot chocolate at home or at Starbucks. It’s so damn delicioussss.

What is the best fall memory you have?

My best fall memory is walking in the park near to my home in The Netherlands. I love to see the leaves falling down and see the different colours. It’s just an amazing experience!

Best fragrance for fall?

I am in love with the fragrance “Paco Rabane” – Lady Million. It’s has a fresh scent which reminds me of new beginnings like fall.

Favorite Thanksgiving food?

I don’t celebrate Thanksgiving in Spain or in The Netherlands. I love almost every kind of food so if we did celebrate Thanksgiving anything would be perfect for me hahah.

What is Autumn weather like where you live?

I live in Spain now. In Spain it’s still summer until almost end of October. In November it’s getting colder and colder.

I’m half dutch, half Spanish so I have lived fall in Spain and in The Netherlands. In The Netherlands it’s way different than in Spain haha 😂. End of august fall is already around the corner. September, October, November are the months where it rains a lot and it’s getting colder and it’s just a stormy weather. This defines the perfect fall weather in The Netherlands. It’s the perfect time to just enjoy watching your favourite series with a cup of tea or a hot chocolate.

Most worn sweater?

My most worn sweater is the one which is from the surf brand Billabong. It’s a red, cozy sweater with the words: “Forever salty” with some waves around the text.

Football games or jumping in a pile of leaves?

Jumping in a pile of leaves of course! I love that kind of feeling. It’s like the most amazing fall feeling ever! 💕

Skinny jeans or leggings?

I really can’t choose. I like them both. Skinny jeans and leggings are just the perfect outfit together with a nice jacket during fall.

Combat boots or Uggs?

I never bought Uggs. I really don’t like them hahah. I am so in love with my brown  combat boots!

Is pumpkin spice worth the hype?

I have never tried that before but maybe I’m going to try it this fall 😄

Favourite fall TV show?

I can’t choose between Gossip Girl or Pretty Little Liars. I just love these shows so much. Even though they have ended I still need to watch season 5, 6 and 7 from Pretty Little Liars. I can’t wait to watch it this fall! 😍👏

What song really gets you into the fall spirit?

September from Earth, Wind & Fire. I really like this song because it remines me that as September begins fall is just around the corner!

What do you want to be for Halloween?

I celebrated Halloween three times in my life and every time I was a witch. Haha, maybe this year I also wanna be a witch. In my childhood I saw many series/movies with witches and I just loved them so much.

Hats or scarves?

Both of course! They are just the best things ever invented for the cold in fall and in winter.

What is you #1 favorite thing about fall?

In The Netherlands I love to sit arround the fire with my lovely family. In Spain I love the cozy nights watching my favourite serie with a cup of tea or hot chocolate with cream and canela mmmmm 😋

Here are more things I love about fall:

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I hope you enjoyed this blog post. Stay tuned for more awesome blog posts! Have an amazing fall you all! 🍃🍂🍁🌺💕

Much love,

xoxo

I will never hurt people the way they hurt me

15 Sep 2017

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

I saw this beautiful quote/thought on Instagram and just have to share a little story why I can relate to it so much 💕💫💭 

During my childhood people have bullied me a lot. Even people who I considered my friend have hurt me a lot. I never had a fight with anybody in my life but words hurt too. Words can chase you your whole life. If you had someone in your life that tells you every day that you are ugly and not worth it, sooner or later you gonna believe in it and feel horrible. 

I’m glad I don’t have to go back to highschool anymore because it was the worst time of my life. I had so many people saying mean stuff to me and hurting me that at one point I just didn’t like to go school anymore. This also increased my anxiety and the feeling of just never feeling good enough. That feeling of being worthless no matter what you do. That’s just the worst.

I won’t say about myself that I am always kind and good to people. There are times where I also did bad things to friends and they did to me. We all make mistakes. We are human. We learn from it and grow. 

However, I never hurt people so hard as they hurt me. I would never call somebody ugly or say that they are worthless. I would never make fun of somebody who is sick. I will treat everybody with respect, kindness and love 💕

I’m a highly sensitive person and get easily upset when somebody hurt me. It’s just as this quote says I would never hurt somebody the way they hurt me. I believe in the good people in the world. If anybody is experiencing that someone is hurting them in their life, I would encourage you to leave this person. A friend would never hurt you. Make real friends who lift you up and who will always be there for you 💕 I’m so glad I did and met the most wonderful people in my life. I love you all! 💜👏

Much love,

xoxo

Real friends are the ones who prove it to you 💕👏

13 Sep 2017

Hey lovely bloggers 💕,

This is just so true 💕👌 Love this quote 💭 I will share some thoughts I have of friendships.

Some people only are around to have a good time with you. When you feel bad they aren’t around. Can you consider that a friend? Hell no. 

Real friends are the ones who lift you up, who are there in good and bad times. Real friends will always support you. Real friends will help you to make your dreams in life come true 💫

A friend can say I’m here for you and when you are feeling bad not helping you or not showing around. That’s not what a real friend will do. Words are nothing without action.

I’m just so happy I walked away from some toxic friendships. People who said they are your friends and then talk about your back are not your friends. A friend will never say mean things about you. So my advice is to stay away from toxic friendships/relationships. They aren’t good for you and your mental health.

I’m just so happy with the real friends in my life 💕👌 Especially with having anxiety I find sooo much support by being surrounded by real friends who care about me and my mental health. It’s better to have a few real friends than a million of fake friends.

Much love,

xoxo