World Mental Health Day 2020 πŸ’šπŸ’ͺ

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

Today is World Mental Health Day. Mental health is important every damn day. Mental health is as important as physical health. Today I want to share a poem about mental health. I’m here for you all πŸ™πŸ’ž. This year is even harder for all of us because of being more isolated this year. More people died by suicide and are struggling with their mental health because of the pandemic. I definitely feel this year is really such a struggle. It’s important that we all help each other.

Every 40 seconds someone dies by suicide. 1 out of 5 people suffer from a mental illness on a daily basis. I can say that we are done about speaking up. It’s time to change the whole mental health care system. The waiting lists are too long, the help is too late at times and there are no funds for good treatments. This is a worldwide issue which definitely need to change in all countries. Voting a political party which listen to our needs could make a change. There needs to be done so much in our society until everyone can get the help they need whenever they need it.

I’m so thankful for the support I have here online. I love the blogging mental health community. I love the support I get from my family especially my mother. She knows how to care for me and love me especially on the days I feel bad. I love my friends, pen pals and online friends so much too. I take anti anxiety meds when I need them like when I go to the dentist, have to fly or any other situation which makes me anxious and out of control. Everyone deals with it on their own way. There’s no right way. I don’t know whether I will go therapy once and that would help me. It’s also not okay to push someone into doing something they don’t think would help. Healing and recovery isn’t linear and it different for everyone. I think sometimes we just have to find a way with living with it. Writing, doing yoga, blogging, singing, listening to music, being with my loved ones, walks in nature, the sea, surfing, reading, meditation, speaking with someone I trust are all important tools that make me feel better. I hope you also have some great resources that will help you in your life. Mental health illnesses are so complexed, different and hard to treat. I guess at one point it will get better. We have to fight for that day and stay together.

This is the most vulnerable video I made. It’s a spoken poem for today. I hope it makes you feel less alone in your struggle and know that we are all in this together ❀️πŸ’ͺ I love you all so much.

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Today it's World Mental Health Day. This has to be every day and not just one day in a year. Every 40 seconds someone dies by suicide. 1 out of 5 people suffer from a mental illness on a daily basis. I can say that we are done about speaking up. It's time to change the whole mental health care system. The waiting lists are too long, the help is too late at times and there are no funds for good treatments. This is a worldwide issue which definitely need to change in all countries. Voting a political party which listen to our needs could make a change. There needs to be done so much in our society until everyone can get the help they need whenever they need it. This is the most vulnerable video I made. It's a spoken poem for today. I hope it makes you feel less alone in your struggle and know that we are all in this together ❀️πŸ’ͺ I love you all so much. I close my eyes All I see and feel is darkness I feel lost I'm not myself anymore My chest feels tight I'm breathing faster My heart rate is racing So many thoughts about the future I'm nauseous I'm getting dizzy Cold Warm I'm getting crazy Why can't I just feel like a normal person? I began to cry What's happening to me? This is what it feels to suffer from anxiety and panic attacks It's the worst 1 of 5 people suffer on a daily basis with their mental health Depression, bipolar, borderline, eating disorder, psychoses, anxiety, ocd Any person can suffer from one or more of them They all matter No matter your nationality, gender, age, race Mental illnesses are real There's no need to shame What we need is compassion, support and respect A better mental health system Every illness counts Time is ticking It's time to save lives Change the mental health care system We don't want more deaths We want better treatments available for all Because We all deserve to feel safe, loved and get the help we need whenever we need it Our time is now Let's all fight for a better system and society We are not alone We are all in this together always πŸ’ͺ❀️ We are warriors πŸ’ͺ Love you all Amen β€οΈπŸ™

A post shared by Sea of words 🌊 (@seaofwordsblog) on

I close my eyes
All I see and feel is darkness
I feel lost
I’m not myself anymore
My chest feels tight
I’m breathing faster
My heart rate is racing
So many thoughts about the future
I’m nauseous
I’m getting dizzy
Cold
Warm
I’m getting crazy
Why can’t I just feel like a normal person?
I began to cry
What’s happening to me?

This is what it feels to suffer from anxiety and panic attacks
It’s the worst
1 of 5 people suffer on a daily basis with their mental health
Depression, bipolar, borderline, eating disorder, psychoses, anxiety, ocd
Any person can suffer from one or more of them
They all matter
No matter your nationality, gender, age, race
Mental illnesses are real
There’s no need to shame
What we need is compassion, support and respect
A better mental health system
Every illness counts
Time is ticking
It’s time to save lives
Change the mental health care system
We don’t want more deaths
We want better treatments available for all
Because
We all deserve to feel safe, loved and get the help we need whenever we need it
Our time is now
Let’s all fight for a better system and society
We are not alone
We are all in this together always πŸ’ͺ❀️
We are warriors πŸ’ͺ
Love you all
Amen β€οΈπŸ™

Remember, you are never alone. Like Ram Dass says, we are walking each other home. We are here for each other. I really wouldn’t know where I would be without all of you. My blog. My safe space. It’s so good to have a place where you feel like you can be yourself. I never felt this way before. I have always felt the feeling that I don’t belong anywhere. I never felt at home until I went to NYC and spoke at the United Nations and when I did my internship in Valladolid. Those places reminded me that good people exists. I also never felt at home until I began this blog. I didn’t knew so many awesome, inspirational and good people exists. Sometimes we forget it because of all what’s going on in the world. When there’s so much negative news we sometimes go into a dark hole and can only see the negative side of this world. I’m happy that thanks to blogging I know there are so many people who want you to be happy, healthy and will support you along your way.

Thank you a million times for always being there for me. There will be good and hard times in life. As long as we are together we will be fine because we will support each other along the way in this crazy adventure called life. I hope we can all meet one day, have deep talks and enjoy life together. I can’t wait to see you all making your wildest and biggest dreams coming true. I will always be cheering you from the side. You are not alone. You are kind. You are loved. Always remember too, you are enough. Don’t let society make you feel like you are not. Your mental health illness doesn’t define you as a person. I sometimes also feel like I’m an anxious person but it’s more like I suffer from anxiety. I’m not my anxiety. We aren’t our illness. We are much more than that. It isn’t our choice to be sick.

Thank you all for reading and watching my video. I hope it made you feel less alone and inspired you 🌌🌠. What do you think need to change in the mental health care system? What does make you feel better? How are you feeling now? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Happy three year blogging anniversary! πŸŽ‰πŸŒ»βœ¨πŸŒˆβœŒοΈπŸ˜πŸŽˆ

Hey lovelies πŸ’ž,

I’m so happy to write this blog post! On the 16th of August my blog turned three years πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‚πŸΎπŸŒˆπŸ˜. Happy three years blogging anniversary to my lovely blog and safe space! ✨ I can’t believe I’m blogging for three years already. I even forgot that it was today due to the crazy times we live in right now. I never take my blog for granted. I’m so proud of this achievement. My life wouldn’t be the same without my blog. It’s a seed 🌱 I planted 3 years ago which grew. I’ve almost 500 followers now. I will tell about some blogging plans I have in this blog post, some statistics and just some thank you words because I’m so grateful for all of you who have supported me during this crazy adventure. I love you all so much πŸ’ž.

I have always loved writing. I used to write in journals and diaries πŸ“. I still write some of my thoughts and poetry in a journal. I would love to use it more though. Writing is a form of expressing myself in a way I can’t while speaking. I also would love to be able to write some songs because I love singing too. Writing definitely heals our heart. We are told to not share our struggles or our feelings when it’s so much better if we do it in order to heal our hearts. Blogging makes me so happy. I never knew that I would meet so many amazing and beautiful people like you all are. You all mean the world to me. I really wouldn’t know what I would do without you all. Your support and love makes my heart glow from happiness. You all mean so much to me. You make me all so happy and I love to get inspiration from you all. I hope you also get inspired ✨ by my words and feel less alone.

To be honest, I never expected my blog to grow and find such inspirational people on there. I remember I was searching on Google three years ago on how to gain followers or grow my blog. If I knew back then that it will just happen day by day. I just have to be myself and create quality content. It has to make me happy and if it makes me happy then it can make others happy too. Not everyone has to like you and you have to be okay with that. There will be always people out there who won’t agree with you but that doesn’t make you a bad person. Not everything is about us. The internet can be a nasty place but also such a beautiful one. The blogging community is the loveliest community ever. We all respect each other and are there for each other. It’s so rare to find nowadays. I love to write about mental health, self love, feminism, travel trips, poetry, books, new music which comes out and just anything I love or want to share. I don’t like to have a special niche because I love to write about anything I like without having to limitate myself. I’ve always a lot on my mind so I love to share it with you guys haha πŸ˜‚β€οΈ.

Now, I would love to share some blogging statistics from this year. I love to be able to look back and think about how much my blog grew during these three years.

Some blogging statistics from this year:

Followers: 499 (Almost 500 whoehoe, last year I had 379)

Blog posts: 211

Views: 20.384 (Wow over 20K!)

Visitors: 12.584

Best day: April the 7th 2019, the day I got the most views

Day most popular: Monday, a new week! (18%)

Hour most popular: 11:00 PM (6%)

Some of my blog posts wich are the most popular and got the most views were:

I will never hurt people the way they hurt me (444 views)

Hey, you. Don’t give up, okay? βœ¨ (394 views)

I feel like everyone is living their best life, except me (311 views)

A to Z of my favourite things in life (300 views)

Do you think it’s possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return? πŸ’• (1002 views, I guess many followers come to my blog from this blog post, it’s also one of my favourite posts)

Top 10 countries that have visited my blog 🌍:

I find this such an amazing thing to look at when I look at the statistics. So many people from all over the world visit my blog. It’s so crazy! I think it’s amazing. Sometimes I also see countries which I don’t know such as Palau, Togo or The European Union lol which is not a country. I exactly know which bloggers friends visit my blog when I look at the stats haha.

1. United States (3713 views)

2. United Kingdom (937 views)

3. India (866 views)

4. Canada (465 views)

5. The Netherlands (453 views, including my views haha)

6. Philippines (338 views including me)

7. South Africa (313 views)

8. Indonesia (259 views)

9. Australia (246 views)

10. Singapore (210 views)

One of my blogging plans in the future would be to go self hosted one day. I will do that when I don’t have any free space left. I’m anxious to do that because I heard stories of bloggers loosing their content. If you do it on WordPress it wouldn’t be a problem, right?! I would love to learn more about this topic. I also would love to be able to maybe earn money from my blog. I invest so much time in it and I’m still looking for a career. I would love to be able to gain money while being a writer. I hear people saying how difficult it is. I know that already but what if I make my dreams come true. What if we all make our wildest and biggest dreams come true? 🌠 It doesn’t matter what others tells us because we have the right to persue whatever we want to achieve. I believe the universe has a plan for all of us.

One of my other goals is to gain 1000 followers. It isn’t about the followers but it’s nice to be able to reach this blogging milestone. It will take time and patience and I will keep blogging. I don’t like all those influencers and people only focusing on followers and numbers because it isn’t the most important thing. It isn’t real. I would rather have less followers but the ones I have being active and not passive followers or ghost followers which exists a lot these days. I also don’t like those bots on Instagram which only post disgusting comments always. It’s annoying πŸ˜’.

I also would love to be able to meet you all one day 😍. That’s one of my biggest dreams because it would be so nice to finally be able to see you and hug you all. We can’t hug now due to this pandemic but hopefully soon we can. I would love to guide you in Spain or in The Netherlands. I would also love to be able to travel to your country and see more of the world. I love travelling the world. I would love to talk with you about my life, dreams, fears, the things I love or just anything. We could go for a drink, eat some delicious tapas, go to a concert together 🎢, write blog posts together, sing, dance πŸ’ƒ, surf πŸ„β€β™€οΈ, take pictures and just enjoy each other’s company. It would make me the happiest girl in the world. I’ve made life long friends because of blogging.

I just want to say thank you for everything. I’m so blessed to have you all in my life πŸ™βœ¨ I love my real life friends and online friends so much.  Everytime I feel my life is turning upside down and I feel like the clouds are crying with me I turn to my blog and I begin to write about everything what’s on my mind no matter how dark or heavy it’s. You guys always help me in these moments. You are always there for me. I appreciate that so much. It feels good to know that I’m not alone in my struggles and that there’s someone who understands me and cares about me even when we have never have met. Online friends are real friends too. I can’t wait to meet you all one day. We will ALWAYS be friends ❀️ yeahhh.

Thank you all for reading this happy blog post. I hope you liked it. What do you love about my blog? Do you think we will ever meet? Do you think that internet friends can be real friends too? What are some blogging plans you have? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

I love you all so much πŸ˜πŸ’žβœ¨,

xoxo Christina

I see humans but no humanity πŸ’”πŸ˜’

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I wanted to write a more happier post but I always want to be honest on my blog so I won’t do that. I’m always vulnerable and real on my blog. I always write straight from my heart. Writing straight from my heart also gives me the most inspiration. I don’t like to plan blog posts. It has to flow like life too. These days I don’t feel okay so I will write about my feelings and thoughts. I hope you are all okay and safe. I’m here for you too. This blog post will be about my health, how I feel and about humanity. It feels good to write it all down and have a more sense of peace in my mind.

I was very happy the first days I arrived in Spain. I have been eating delicious tapas, ice creams 🍦🍨🍧, milkshakes, enjoyed the sunshine 🌞 and went swimming a lot πŸŠβ€β™€οΈ. The last days I have felt low and kinda depressed. I also had my period so I’m always more sensitive to everything during that time of the month. Besides, I’m really tired and my throat hurts a lot when I swallow, drink or eat something. It feels like it’s swollen too. If anyone knows me well, you know how anxious I’m about dentists or doctors so I will wait a few more days. The bad thing is that nowadays many people think easily oh no it’s Corona when you can have something else. I don’t have fever or anything. I just hope that it will go away soon. I really want to feel better again.

I also am beginning to feel anxious again to have to go to the dentist in two weeks. I still have to get rid of three wisdom teeth but it’s really draining me. I’m so done with it. It makes me so anxious 😒🦷. The dentist and his team are very lovely but it’s still no fun. Again feeling numb, then not eating a few days and taking meds for pain. It was worse than I imagined but still not fun. The anxiety I feel is always worse than the thing itself. Anxiety is a monster and I would love to be able to tame it one day. I will use valium to calm myself down. I’m so grateful for my mother who is always there for me to hold my hand and be at my side. I couldn’t do anything scary without her help. I really would be so lost. I love her so much. She is the kindest and most loveliest person ever.

I’m a highly sensitive person which means that I feel every emotion more. I feel others suffering more and also love more. It’s a gift but can also be a curse sometimes. I feel others pain deeply. Some of my friends are dealing with emotional stuff. I feel them. I feel people suffering from the pandemic. It hurts me so much to see so much pain in the world. I have been feeling very emotional and sad too these days. I can’t deal with people doing bad things to good people. It breaks my heart πŸ’”. Why is there so much hate in this world? Why can’t people just be nice and kind to each other or is that too much to ask for? I really would love to have some answers on that but I don’t have. I don’t know why bad things happen to good people. It’s so unfair.

I have felt this way too because of the harrasment which yoga_girl is receiving just because she said that’s better not to travel now to Aruba from a country with a high risk of the virus. Aruba suffers from an economic crisis because it depends on tourism. I can understand that but the health and safety of the citizens are more important. I think that’s obvious. I just can’t understand how people find it okay to treathening other people lives. It’s so scary. Rachel and her family have received hate and what’s worse than that is threats. They even stalked their house. I’m happy they are safe now. It would be a shame if they have to move because of some locals being aggressive to them. I’m so happy to be part of the yoga community and will forever be βœ¨πŸ™πŸ’–. We are all here for you guys. Rachel, you are such a light in this world and have healed so many hearts including mine. I’m still healing though. I can’t thank you enough. Be safe. I love you so much.

I have also noticed that I feel more like myself these days. The more I feel, the more I feel like myself because this is who I’m. I get anxious, I get depressed, I feel low but I also can be happy and feel gratitude in my heart. I feel it all. Even though sometimes I find it really hard to live in this world because there are so many scary things and bad people out there too. I’m grateful for the good people I have in my life. I’m so happy to have this beautiful blogging community too who’s always there for me too. I can’t wait to meet you all one day and thank you. You are always there for me when I’m sad and celebrate my happy days. We will always stick together forever.

I wish there would be more people like you all in this world πŸ’žπŸ™. Sometimes I definitely feel like there are so many bad people and things out there. I get scared and anxious and feel such a heavy feeling on my shoulders. I wish for peace, respect and compassion and being one with the world. What the world needs right now is union and not more separation 🌍. There’s already too much of that and it didn’t bring anything good.

May we all find the light and love in our own hearts and spread it to the world ✨. This world needs healing, so much love, compassion and kindness. It will never be enough. What this world needs right now is a group hug which would be now in distance with the pandemic but you all understand what I mean. More love, less hate. More compassion, less cold-hearted people.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope you can understand and respect my feelings. How are you feeling lately? Are you also anxious of going to the doctor or dentist? What do you think of humanity? Do you also find it unfair that bad things happen to good people? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post. Be safe you all and remember we are never alone in our struggles. Like I always say, we are always in this together πŸ’ͺπŸ’–.

I love you all so much πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Holaaa from Spain after 7 months not being able to travel! πŸ˜πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸŒŠπŸŒžπŸŒ΄πŸŒ»

Hola lovelies πŸ₯°,

I’m finally back in Spain since last Tuesday. I CRY BECAUSE I MISSED IT SOOOO MUCH 😍πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯°. Just writing this makes me cry again and gets me so emotional. I’m behind some other posts but I think I’m not going to write them anymore. I have been feel a bit stressed about my blog lately like I have to blog about this, not miss this and it’s not good. I’m always a perfectionist so when I finally do something after procastinating then I want to do it good. I prefer quality blog posts then just posts for the sake of it. This blog post will be about my journey to Spain, how I feel, things I have on my mind and how things are right now due to this pandemic. I really missed having a good chat with you guys. This post is basically going to be a rant haha πŸ˜‚. I hope you will like it.

I can’t believe we are already in August like wtf this year is the longest and the shortest ever 😳. How do you feel about it? So much has happened in the world these months because of the pandemic. I really imagine myself cheering the new year last year and we all didn’t know what was about to come. It makes me feel bittersweet though. I don’t know how to feel about a new year coming because I don’t know what we have to except. The best thing is having no expectations and just going with the flow. I read a beautiful quote a few days ago which said that so much can happen in 6 months which is true. So, I hope these last 5 months will turn out fine or better than these last months.

In my life, not that much has happened. I still have no job but right now it’s even more difficult to find one related to what I studied. I studied European Studies which is a broad study with a wide range of subjects such as marketing, languages, international relations and politics. I also really find myself thinking of how I would love to make a living out of writing. I crave it so badly. I also love doing yoga, reading, travelling, singing and surfing so much. I’ve also sometimes dreamt about how amazing it would be to build a surf school related to mental health problems to provide people help and support while enjoying the ocean. I can’t wait to maybe go to the beach and surf this Summer in Spain πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈπŸŒŠπŸ„β€β™€οΈ. I miss the sea so much. Maybe those dreams are wild but it would be so amazing. I still feel kinda stuck related to thinking about a career. I used to apply to some jobs in Spain but got no answer. I even did an interview for a internship and never heard back. It’s more difficult right now. I also got information to take an exam for a job in the public sector which is mandatory in Spain. I just don’t know and still feel lost after so many years. It’s normal I say to myself. Anxiety also gets in the way. Some people see it as excuse but they have no idea how hard it’s to live with it and being expected to do everyday stuff.

I also entered some writing competitions. I didn’t won the one from Barcelona. At least I tried. Besides, Barcelona is now more at risk so it’s better not to go. I will hear about the poetry contest about mental health next month. I will also maybe join another contest these days which is about my city Haarlem, in The Netherlands. They are looking for a city poet who will write for them and also earn €3000 euro each year and will even have the opportunity to publish a book about poems of Haarlem. I will join and we will see what happens next. I have already a no but you never know what may be the result.

Thanks to the pandemic which is also strange to I’m also grounding myself more and being present with all the things I have. I have been doing yoga and medititation many times in a week πŸ§˜β€β™€οΈβœ¨. It’s so good. I feel more lost and less calm when I don’t do it. It’s been a such a healing tool and I will stick to it forever. I can’t wait to be able to have a job, save money and go to a yoga retreat in Aruba and finally meet Yoga Girl and the whole community. I love it so much. I don’t have a yoga mat here in Spain but I will use maybe a camping mat until I have one here. I crave connection so much. It’s the best. It reminds me I’m never alone and that I always have people behind me. I did a sharing circle on Zoom with Yoga Girl and more than 60 people joined a few days ago which I will share more about in my July favourites. It was so special and omg I also felt anxious and strange. I had never done it before. In real life it would be even more intense. We did a meditation and then we got a sharing partner. We had to talk about our struggles and the other person listened and didn’t give advice. It’s much more powerful then just always interrumpting a person. Rachel Brathen (Yoga Girl) said that we have our answers in our heart. These sharings are so much more powerful than anything else πŸ’–. I got emotional when I listened and my partner too. I can’t wait to do it many more times.

I’m happy to be back in Spain but also feel mixed feelings. Nothing is normal anymore. Our trip went very well. I was so happy to go but never felt so anxious before a trip. I really didn’t like some of my family members and also a friend of my mother saying we are irresponsible to go to Spain when we are very careful. I couldn’t sleep the night before. I felt so unwell and anxious. I hate to get influenced but others because our trip went super well. We had to wear masks, do social distance and wash our hands often. Nothing new. I’m more used now to wearing a face mask almost all the time because it’s mandatory here in Spain 😷. In Holland it’s only mandatory in public transport and in a regio of Amsterdam and Rotterdam. I changed my mind and think it’s very important to wear it even though it’s a struggle in the heat. We passed the security in 15 min. We drank some tea and ate a croissant and went to the gate. Boarding was nice, the flight was great without any turbulence. There were almost no people. I watched High School Musical 🎢. I loved it. I had never watched it before.

When we landed in the airport of Madrid, they checked our QR-code which is the health paper you have to fill in before you go to Spain. Then you pass a control and there are camera’s above which check your temperature. There are also nurses there in case you are feeling bad. Everything is clean and well organised. We got our suitcases, took a taxi to the station of Madrid and there suddenly I saw my good friend Pedro and his girlfriend. I love to always meet people as a surprise. We ate delicious Spanish food with them and waited for the train. It takes one hour to go to Valladolid by the high speed train. Then we took a taxi home and in the afternoon we were safe and sound at home. I thought something would happen during the trip or I would feel more anxious. I felt more calm because everything went well. I don’t want to listen to scary stories anymore or watch too much news. We are safe and will do anything to stay safe. We can’t stay forever in our homes too.

These days I have been resting in Spain in our home, eating some delicicous tapas and just walking in nature. We also went already to the swimming pool which we love so much πŸŠβ€β™€οΈπŸŒž. I have to enjoy it now before I get my period which I hate even more in Summer. There’s no beach here so the pool is the best place to be. I’m just so much more happier here. It’s been so hot here, like 37 degrees. Right now, it’s 30 degrees. I love Summers in Spain so much. I really craved it. This week I will finally see my friends which I missed so much. I also saw a new restaurant with vegan food and poke bowls omggg can’t wait to try it. I will celebrate my birthday with my friends there πŸŽ‰πŸ€—. I also saw a new yoga studio. Maybe will go there too. I also will go the hairdresser soon. I can never cut much just the death ends and my bangs because I didn’t went for like a year. I also have to go to the dentist end of month to get rid again of one wisdom teeth 🦷. I’m anxious about that again but maybe a bit less than in January. I told about my experience here. It’s still a struggle so please guys be there for me and send me love. I need it. I just know I have no other choice because I have sometimes strange feelings and pain. I can’t wait to be able to say I faced this 4 times and it went well.

I’m really happy to be here but I also feel sadness in Spain. I see elderly walking and I get emotional thinking of how many people have died here and all over the world. In Spain people are so social and always together. The Netherlands has a individualistic culture. It’s so different. You see less people and people are afraid which is normal. Night life is different too. I don’t miss fiestas so much because what I need in life is more connection and deep talks rather than being drunk all the time. It’s been ages for me and I’m really happy to have gone a different way in drinking alcohol. I don’t need to drink much to have fun. The virus is still here and we have to be careful. They are putting some villages in Valladolid in lockdown again which just means that it isn’t over. I hope you all stay safe this Summer and have fun. We are all in this together πŸ’ͺπŸ™.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I hope it wasn’t too boring. I hope you all liked it. What are you up to during this Summer? How are you feeling? How is your physical and mental health? What do you think of what I wrote? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Today it’s my 27th birthday! πŸ˜πŸŽ‚πŸŽ‰πŸŽβœ¨πŸŽˆ Forever a gemini child β™Š and hippie girl yeahhh! βœŒ

Hola lovelies πŸ’•,

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!!! πŸ˜πŸŽ‰ OMG 27 YEARS YOUNG. I feel old lol πŸ˜‚. I have sometimes pain in my body like period cramps, back pain, feeling nauseous, teeth problems, suffering from anxiety but lol I still lived 27 years so I guess it’s okay. I feel like a grand mother πŸ‘΄ sometimes. This blog post will be about my birthday and some things I learned these years. It’s a kinda strange birthday because of this pandemic and lockdown but it’s also special. It’s the first birthday in 4 years that I’m again in The Netherlands celebrating it and not in Spain. My good friend is sleeping here. My brother, his wife, my bestie and her girlfriend are coming today but of course with distance. Better, than nothing. I miss face to face connection so much. I missed seeing them so much 😭.

I sometimes feel a bit depressed, anxious and emotional with my birthday because of society’s expectations. In 3 years I’m 30 years old but I still feel like a ”baby” in the world. I don’t have a job yet, no hushband, no baby, no driving license, no car or don’t own a home. Does that make me unsuccesful? Does that make me not worth it in this society? I just hate that society create those rules. It only makes me feel depressed and create more anxiety. I am where I am in live and it’s all okay. I’m realizing now more and more that who I’m is more important than what I do.

If there is one thing I’m realizing now during this pandemic and just this year in general is that I have to choose for myself. I have spent so much years of my life doing what other people expected of me. I have spent so much time in doing things I don’t like or being with the wrong people. It only drained me and made me feel bad about myself. I have wasted too much time in toxic relationships. It wasn’t worth it. I realized afterwards that all these people and boys had one thing in common: they didn’t deserve my love. I give so much to people and didn’t get that same amount of love back. They weren’t worth my time. If only I knew then what I know now I would not have done certain things or wasted my time on the wrong people. I failed, I learned and I grew from these mistakes. I will try to not repeat them in the future.

I have always hide myself and I still do that at times and I’m done with it. I hide myself because of being bullied 😒. Not many bullies seem to know what the consequences are of bullying. It’s really the worst for your mental health. I still suffer sometimes when someone is laughing or talking a bit loud. Then instantly I think it’s about me but of course it isn’t true. Anxiety is also being caused of being bullied. I’m done with hiding myself for who I’m. I’m happy that I’m being myself know more and more online and also in real life. I have the best friends in real life, online and family in the world πŸ˜πŸ’•.

I want to be completely myself in everything I do and in everything I am in life. I have always been afraid of growing older because of being afraid of death. I also talked about that topic in this blog post. Now, I’m realizing that growing older is also a privilege. Not everyone can grow older because of sickness. I have also been afraid of aging because I always thought I have to be a certain way in life. I can’t like or do the things I like now in a few years. Well, that’s a misconception. I will forever be the hippie girl ✌, mermaid and wild child I’m πŸ˜‚. I will not change for anyone. I WILL BE MY CRAZY SELF. I will keep reading young adult books πŸ“š, blogging, penpalling, surfing πŸ„, travelling the world, singing 🎢, loving the sea 🌊, listening to my favourite artists such as Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Julia Michaels, Sofia Ellar, Duncan Laurence, Aitana, Amaia, Alfred and keep having fun with my friends. I will keep being myself which means being romantic and sensitive. I’m a highly sensitive person and feel every emotion and also suffer more. I can’t take that away from me because otherwise I wouldn’t be me. Growing older doesn’t mean I have to change about what I like or not. I just grow wiser.

This year I faced one of my biggest fears which was going to the dentist to get one of my wisdom teeth pulled out. I’m SO proud of myself for doing this!!! πŸ’ͺ It’s a big achievement for me. I spent years in anxiety and I still know I have to get three out. The first step is there. It went all so great because of the lovely dentist and his team. He knew exactly how to support me and take care of me while I had so much anxiety. You can read it here. Sometimes I feel some problems in my teeth because I still have to get rid of three. I prefer to do it in Spain but we postponed our trip because of the pandemic. Maybe we can go in the Summer if it won’t be dangerous for any of us. I’m just really happy to have faced this fear. I hope with the next visits I will feel less anxiety. I know anxiety will be there always but hopefully a bit less now I know how things go. That’s also the reason I prefer to go in Spain because I know the dentist. I find it hard to trust again in someone new. It’s nice to go to some familiar places.

This year I also have had some amazing good times with my friends and family πŸ˜πŸ’ƒ. My last birthday was amazing because my friend from Granada came to visit me for the first time in Valladolid. Me and my Spanish friends ate all together in a creperie. We had such a great time together. I also enjoyed my time with my Dutch friends in Haarlem in November. I came back from having a hard time in Spain and being so anxious about having to go to the dentist and just life. It was nice to be able to enjoy some time all together eating delicous tapas in La Cubanita. In January I ate there again with my good friend. I also had a nice time with my family eating all together and celebrating birthdays. I really miss that but I know that time will come again.

I also travelled to beautiful places this year which were my second home Valladolid in Spain ✈πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ. I’m so blessed to have that in my life. I love my Spanish friends and family so much. It’s home. I even feel more at home there than in The Netherlands where I have been born. Home is also where your favourite people are. I love both countries so much but Spain always more haha. In July I travelled again for the 4th time to Granada, one of my favourite cities in Spain. I have a good friend living there. My mother and I went to his appartment at the beach and also enjoyed the city itself. We always have an amazing time and I really can’t wait to go back!!!! 😍🌊 It’s a tradition to go each Summer but we don’t know if that will be possible this year. I also travelled to GijΓ³n which is in Asturias for the first time in August with one of my best friends in Spain. We had such a great time. We enjoyed the beach, had great fiestas haha, eat delicious tapas, went shopping and had such a great girl time.

It was years ago since I went with a friend again on a holiday. I really missed it and I can’t wait to do it again. I still remember that night we met some cool guys which invited us for drinks without anything in return. No bad boys for once yeahhh. They were partying with us the whole night. It was so much fun. One of their friends was about to marry. I just can’t wait to travel again to new places in Spain and wherever in the world because travelling makes me so happy and most importantly, it makes me feel ALIVE!!!! You make new friends, have fun, learn about different cultures and learn more about life and this world we live in 🌍.

Right now, I just submitted a story for a contest which is called ”A sea of words” just like my blog like what the hell?! The European Institute of the Mediterranean tagged me on a post in Instagram. Otherwise I would never have found it. My instagram for my blog is also called that way. It’s a contest which is every year and the topics can be about gender equality, climate change, environment or just anything related to make this world a better place. This year it was about young people faced with climate change in the Mediterranean and the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development. First I wrote an essay but it wasn’t what they ask for so I had to change it into a story which was a bit more difficult. The story I wrote is about me being in the sea with my boat and then suddenly being stuck surrounded by plastic bottles. Then a man comes to help me and talks about how important it is to take action. I have always had that inner voice inside of me who says to take action and give some ideas. I already won an essay contest in 2015 and spoke at the United Nations in New York City πŸ—½ so I thought why not try again even though my inner critic is loud sometimes. The jury is now reviewing the stories. The 10 best winners will go to Barcelona at the end of September for free and will have a creative writing course and dicuss their ideas. It’s really so amazing. I will keep you informed if I win and if it’s even possible to travel.

A few days ago I also submitted my two poems πŸ“„ about vulnerability and strength for the organization MIND in The Netherlands. This organization helps people with mental health illnesses. My poems are about the sea and about being bullied and how that made me stronger and about accepting myself for the way I’m. The winner will be chosen online from the best 5 and the winner gets a poetry award. The 5 winners can speak their poem in an event. All these things make me super anxious and are so outside my comfortzone but I have to do it because I love writing and I know that I’m good at it. I have to stop bullying myself that I’m not good or smart enough. I will keep my fingers crossed βœŒπŸ™.

With all of these things I do and did in the past, I’m just being myself and embracing the person who I’m which loves to write, do yoga, sing, surf, travel the world, read and help other people and hopefully making this world a better place. I love La Pachamama!!! 🌍😍 Thank you all so much for forming part of my life. Thank you all for being there for me in good and bad times. I love you all so much. I wish you all peace, love & happiness! Forever young, wild and free! ✌️ We are all childs of the universe. This life is a gift ✨ Let’s hope this new year of life will be amazing too!

Thank you all for reading this blog post. I’m so happy to have you all in my life. Do you also join writing contests? Do you think 27 years is old? Do you think society creates rules for us? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

5 surfers died doing what they loved to do the most in The North Sea πŸ˜’πŸ’”πŸ‡³πŸ‡±

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I wanted to write a more happy blog post but I just can’t. I have to always write what’s on my mind. Right now, I feel so much loss and I am so sad. I feel heartbroken πŸ’”. I cried this whole week SO much. I will talk about the tragedy which happened on Monday afternoon in the beach Scheveningen πŸŒŠπŸ‡³πŸ‡±πŸ˜’. 5 surfers died doing what they loved to do the most. I also wrote a poem abou it which I will let you see below. This is also my 200th post on my blog which I’m proud about but today’s blog post is something more important. Some people will maybe not understand me but I can grief so hard for people I don’t know. I’m a sensitive person and an empath. That’s how I live my life now and forever. I will not change that for anyone if you like it or not.

On Monday afternoon in Scheveningen at 7 o’clock a group of surfers came in problems. There was a strong wind and current. They didn’t surf near to the port because it’s more dangerous there. They know the sea so well because they were experienced and even life guards. They found the two bodies on Monday and the other two on Tuesday. They are still searching for the fifth body. Even the rescue team had problems in finding them. Some people were saved, a man who was 40 years old and other people. A friend of them was saved. They were all from the regio of The Hague. The ones who died were between 20 and 30 years old. It’s so heartbreaking that the sea took their lives. It was even on the news of the World Surf League which is the association of surfing professionals. They died suffocated in the foam. This is very strange because that doesn’t happen often. Now they will further investigate it. I hate when people say it’s their fault. I find it disrespectful when people say that. The rescue team in The Netherlands saved one person who also had a baby, a family together. That person was friends with the ones who died. I wouldn’t know how to cope when I know my best friends died but I got saved. I think it must be so heartbreaking.

I know surfing is sometimes a risky sport but surfers know that. I love surfing and even made my thesis about surfing for graduating college. I wrote about the surf brand O’Neill and the surfing lifestyle. I love to live that lifestyle like all surfers are living that. It means to enjoy the sea, having respect for nature, for the environment and for every living being. I’m a beginner surfer by heart. The sea is my home. I also surfed on the beach of Scheveningen many times. It makes me the most happy person ever. Even though I’m not good at catching waves yet, I have fun and feel the most alive on my surfboard. They died doing what they loved to do. I just don’t think there’s anything poetic about that because it must be a horrible death being drowned by the sea. I’m so sorry for them 😒. I think they suffered a lot and did all they could to be saved. Since I heard the news I couldn’t stop crying. I wrote a poem about what happened. It’s also on my poetry account on Instagram. I can’t think of anything else right now.

The wild sea

I love the sea

It’s my favourite place in the world

I love to hear the waves crashing to the shore


I love to smell the salty air


I love to feel the wind in my face


I love the taste of the salt sea


I love to see the waves


What I love the most of surving


Is the feeling of being alive


It makes me so happy


At the same time the sea scares me


Last night a tragedy happened in Scheveningen


5 experienced body surfers lost their lives


The wind & the big waves took their lives


How can nature be so cruel?


How can be something so beautiful at the same time kill people?


It’s mother nature at their wildest


I spent the day crying


I don’t know you but I feel the losses in my heart


Being an empath and highly sensitive person makes you grief people you don’t even know

I’m so sorry Joost, Sander, Pim, Max and Matthijs

The sea took your life


May you rest in peace


You were all too young


You died doing what you loved to do


We are mourning the losses


The sky is crying with you


You are all an inspiration for us

You will not forgotten

I send all my love to the friends and family


You are all loved

The surfing community will always be there for each other

We will stick together

Love you
πŸ’•

A sea of words

I hope you all liked my poem. The picture is from someone on Instagram. I love to see sunsets on the beach. They are the most magical ever. I truly believe these heroes are somewhere there watching us from above. We will continue surfing remembering them. I just always have to write a poem when a tragedy happens, especially one so close to home. Scheveningen is a place I come often to surf, chill and enjoy the beach. It’s close to The Hague where I went to college to. I often celebrate my birthday at the surf school Hart Beach. These men were from another surf school but they were all surf teachers and know the sea very well. They know the dangers. The meters of foam happened suddenly when they were body surfing. I love the community of surfers so much. They are all so lovely and connected with each other. I have some friends who surfed with me but I would love to find more people who could surf with me. Sometimes I was also thinking to get a job in the surf industry. It would be so amazing! Caring about the environment, enjoying nature and loving the sea is everything I stand for in life. I know some of my studies live there and are also heartbroken about the news. Also one girl from my studies know some people who have died. She’s a professional surfer who surfed with them too.

It’s so sad that life can be over in just one second. We never know when will be the last day we are living. We never know when we will die. It terrifies me but at the same time it also makes me think that I want to live the life of my dreams. I would love to learn to be able to surf well and catch some good waves. It makes me feel alive, happy and feel less anxious. The sea cures everything but sometimes it’s a monster which takes people. I always have much respect for the sea. It’s mother nature at it’s wildest 🌊. We can learn how to surf the waves but we can’t go against the sea. The sea will always be stronger than us at the end. Nature will always be stronger than human beings and can destroy us whenever we least except it, thinking of natural disasters such as earthquakes or tsunami’s. We really have to care more about mother nature. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world and also sometimes the scariest thing ever 😒. We have absolutely no control of it.

Today, our hearts go out to the 5 families and friends of the people we lost in Scheveningen yesterday. The 5 surfers where body surfing and were experienced. They didn’t come home after their session. Even though I don’t know them I feel this loss so deeply. I am an empath and highly sensitive person and always feel everything so deeply. I don’t have to know someone personally to feel what others are going through. I can feel their feelings so deeply. This is the prize I take for feeling so much. I also suffer so much too. I don’t know how I would cope when someone I know dies. This is a black day for the Dutch surf community and we wish all who are involved the strength to deal with this loss πŸ˜’πŸŒŠπŸ™πŸ„πŸ‡³πŸ‡±. We are all mourning their losses. The sea is so wild and strong. It takes and gives. I am here for you all. Sending you all my love and strength πŸ’•πŸ™. I hope this poem made you feel less alone in mourning their grief.

Always when something like this happen I would love to help other people and be of service. I know I can’t make the death surfers come back into life. I wish that power would exist. If I lived near to Scheveningen I would bring flowers to the surf school. Everyone is doing that and they are griefing all together around the place where the tragedy happened. Maybe, I’m going to sent the surf school a card and flowers letting them know they aren’t alone in their pain. The families and friends need to grief right now and need their privacy. I also am going to donate money for the KNRM which is the The Royal Netherlands Sea Rescue Institution. They are always rescuing people and it’s important to donate money even though you may not have much money. You can donate on this website: KNRM.

This is a beautiful poem I found on Instagram. It sounds better in Dutch of course but I loved it.

”If mermen really existed,
at home on the coast and could go as fishes through the water
then they were named surfers
and everyone in Scheveningen would know that
the sea belongs to them and they belong to the sea
her waves took the men forever with her.”

Thank you all for reading this heartbreaking but necessary blog post. It was my 200th blog post. I just had to write about this tragedy. What do you think of my poem? Are you a sea lover? Does the sea scares you? Does anything similiar happened in your country? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Stop making a taboo about having periods

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I just had to write this blog post because I feel bad these days because of my upcoming period. I find it important to raise awareness about having our periods. I’m going to talk about period pain and periods in general. I already talked about it one day. I don’t understand why we don’t talk more about it and why it’s still considered a taboo when it’s something natural. I think we have to talk more about it so that women don’t feel alone while suffering each month from heavy pain, blood, mood swings and everything which comes with having our periods. Men often say that women get crazy when their period is coming well we aren’t crazy, our hormones are making us feel that way. It’s not something we choose for. I find it always so disgusting when people say that we like to be completely mad. If they would suffer from it, they wouldn’t say that because then they would know how it feels. You never know what’s someone is going through until you feel those feelings and those experiences by yourself.

So, Saturday night I experienced so much pain that I thought OMG I will die. I was sitting on the floor covering my tummy. My body was IN SO MUCH PAIN. I cried so much. I know almost certain that it has to do with my period coming and pms. It isn’t normal though. I have always had painful and heavy periods. I know I’m not the only woman suffering through this 😭. It’s so hard. The strange thing is that I never felt it that way and I still don’t have my period. I think it’s pms because for the rest I’m not sick or anything. I also feel angry and emotional. I also feel way more anxious before my period. I also have read that it’s because of our hormones. They make us feel like crazy. I always have mood swings before period and I’m so hungry. I just ate a pizza πŸ• last night haha. I craved it so badly πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‹.

There’s still a taboo talking about it. I know some men don’t like to hear it and find it gross. I remember one time I was on my period during high school and I always bleed so much. I knew my jeans were a bit red 😭. I wanted to go to the toilet but they didn’t let me. I didn’t say I had my period. I found it so uncomfortable. I also have heard of men who are super supportive and that makes me so happy. The friends I have in my life who are men are very supportive and care about me. That’s the direction we have to go. Well, it’s the most natural thing ever of being a women which has to be respected. Maybe if women had more information and resources, pain and other issues surrounding our moon would be more manageable. We can’t fix a problem when we can’t talk about it. Talking about it helps to raise awareness and will make us come to a solution all together. I also agree that women have to get more benefits surrounding their periods like free days at work and that pads, tampons and every other product for our periods doesn’t cost anything anymore. We don’t ask for it. Condoms are often given for free but we have to buy these products which also cost so much money. It is definitely not fair at all.

Years ago, women had their period always in sync with the full moon 🌜. That’s why they also call it our moon. It goes in sync with how we feel too. Before our period we may feel more emotional, heavy, sad, angry or just feel that something is off. That means the end of something. When our period begins we begin a new life, a new cycle. Maybe my period is coming on the full moon this Thursday. When I read this somewhere on the internet I felt in awe 🌝. The full moon has definitely an effect on us. I sleep worse the night before and feel more emotional. It’s so beautiful to think we can bring a life into this world. We women are magical creatures of the universe βœ¨πŸ’ž and have to embrace this with our whole heart. The thought of one day getting a baby is beautiful but at the same time it overwhelms me. I don’t know how to take sometimes good care of myself. How would I be able to take care of a child? Also, I’m afraid of getting pregnant and giving birth. I already feel so bad with having my period every month. How would I survive giving birth? I don’t think I’m the only thinking this. I also find it good that women don’t have to have children because it’s their choice like to do abortion too. Every women has the right to decide what to do with their bodies.

I think I will have to check this problem soon because what I felt last weekend was the worst 😒. I’m always anxious about going to the doctor so I don’t go only when I really have to. It gets worse every month. I hope I don’t have anything serious or like endometriose. I know many of my friends also suffer this way and some women don’t feel much. They are definitely the lucky ones. I wish my life was pain free, oh how a different world would that be. Sometimes I wouldn’t be able to walk because of so much cramps. I’m happy I have Aleve meds which is Naproxen and helps very well. Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to cope at all. I just don’t know if I would like to take birth control because I also read some bad stories with side effects. I don’t know if that would be good for my mental health. I just don’t really know what is good or bad for my body.

I just really think we have to talk more about our periods without any shame. It’s 2020 and it’s about time to stop hiding our feelings or thoughts on important topics such as this one in the world. Only then we can come to a solution and feel less alone in our struggles. I’m so happy my mamita is always there to comfort me. Also, my daddy understands me because he sees me suffering every damn month 😒. I wish everyone has a person that is there for them. No one has to deal with hard stuff in life alone. No women has to go through this alone every time of the month. I hope you have friends, family and other loved ones who are there for you when you feel bad during that time of the month. You deserve that love and compassion so much. Your feelings are valid. You are not alone πŸ’žπŸŒˆπŸ™. You are loved. I love you all.

Thank you all for reading this important blog post. I found it important to talk about this subject. How are your periods? Do you take meds or birth control? What are some tips to ease the pain? I’m always here for you. Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

April book reviews πŸ“šπŸ’–

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I hope you are all doing fine while the world is going crazy 😱. I’m having anxiety some days and now feel not well with cramps, headaches and so tired. I just had my period too. I just hope I’m not getting sick again like in February or that it’s something more scary. I have sometimes anxiety about my health too. It gets overwhelming especially these days πŸ˜”. I just hope everything will be fine one day πŸ™. At least I’m still blogging, reading, writing, grouding myself, doing yoga, meditation and I’m still kinda alive.

I know this blog post is waaaay too late but it doesn’t matter haha πŸ˜‚. I already finished reading some other books but first I want to share some reviews of the books I’ve read last year. In this blog post I will review the books The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon and Moon Theory by R. M. Drake. I had to do these reviews earlier because it’s much easier to write a blog post when you just have read the books and it’s still fresh in your mind. Anyway, I hope you will like this post as I know many of you are also readers. Books are life! πŸ“šβ€οΈ

The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Summary:

The Great Gatsby is an important book of the writing career of F. Scott Fitzgerald. It’s considered one of the great classics of the twentieth-century literature. In his book he writes about the Jazz Age. The story is about Jay Gatsby who is very rich and about his new love called Daisy. Gatsby is famous for his big parties πŸŽ‰ where he invites a lot of people on Long Island. The story shows exactly how America was during the 1920s.

My review:

I love how Fitzgerald writes in this book because some sentences feels very poetic. It’s a good book which made you feel like you are living during the 1920s in America πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ. I loved to read about the big parties and how fancy their clothes were. I would love to go to one of his parties even though I don’t drink at all haha. I have to admit that sometimes I found the writing style difficult because there were some words I didn’t understand so sometimes I found it difficult to keep reading. I’m used to reading Young Adult books so it was something different to read.

Quotes:

β€œAnd so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.”

β€œHe looked at her the way all women want to be looked at by a man.”

Stars: ⭐⭐⭐

I give this book three stars because I liked it but it isn’t one of my favourite books. I just prefer young adult books because they are much easier to read. However, it’s a good book and I’m sure many of you also liked it.

Everything, Everything – Nicola Yoon

Summary:

This book is about a girl called Madeline who has a rare disease. It’s a form of Severe Combined Immunodeficiency. She is allergic to everything and can’t leave her house. She hasn’t left her house for already 15 years. Her mother and her nurse Carla take care of her. One day everything change because some new neighbors came. Olly will change her life for good πŸ’•. She wants to feel alive and wants to do everything life has to offer. Madeline knows for sure that she is going to fall in love with Olly and that it will be a hell of a ride.

My review:

I have never read a book that fast for a long time. I finished this book in two weeks during last Summer 🌞. It was so AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL!!! πŸ˜πŸ’–It was also such an easy book to read. I love how the writer makes you fall in love with the characters so fast and made you feel like you actually live that story. It was just so incredible. The end was also a plot twist. I won’t say any spoilers for the ones who didn’t read it. I think it’s such an inspiring book and also such a beautiful love story but not in a cliche way. I definitely cried some tears. There are some really great quotes which I will share below with you.

Quotes:

β€œFrom so high above it, the world seems ordered and deliberate.
But I know it’s more than that. And less. It is structured and chaotic. Beautiful and strange.”

β€œLife is a gift. Don’t forget to live it.” 

β€œEverything’s a risk. Not doing anything is a risk, It’s up to you.”

β€œMaybe growing up means disappointing the people we love.”

β€œYou can find the meaning of life in a book.”

 β€œYou hate the ocean?
I don’t hate it. I respect it. Respect. It’s Mother Nature at her finest – awesome, beautiful, impersonal, murderous.”

Stars: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Definitely 5 stars! πŸŒŸπŸ’« It was a fun, beautiful and inspiring book. This is already one of my favourite books which I’ve ever read. I also loved the drawings in this book which were made by the hushband of Nicola Yoon. It fits perfectly with the story and made it even better. You could really live with the characters, live through their story and feel their emotions.

Moon Theory – Robert M. Drake

Summary:

This poetry book is about self love πŸ’–, love, life and everything in between. Robert M. Drake is a poet and became famous on Instagram. This book is a collection of many poems of him. Many poems are about being real, being yourself, standing up for yourself and feeling your feelings as they come and go. He has written loads of poetry books.

My review:

I loved this poetry book so much! πŸ˜„ It was so well written. All the poems were so beautiful and inspiring. I could really feel all of his emotions and also relate to them in my own life. It was just so good. Some of the poems made me emotional too. He also write poetry which is mental health related. It makes me feel less alone. We need those people so badly in this world especially this time πŸŒπŸ™. They are the ones who heal our hearts. While reading this book you can heal your own heart too. He is such a great writer. I will show some of my favourite poems below.

Stars: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I give this book 5 stars of course without any doubt! It was a beautiful poetry book. I wish to read more poetry books of him and also some novels he has written. I hope they will be as good as this one or maybe even better who knows.

Thank you so much for reading this blog post. Have you read any of these books? Did you like them? What are you reading right now? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina



February favourites πŸ’žπŸŒž

Hey lovelies πŸ’•,

I’ve had a hard week last week with all what’s happening in the world right now. The pandemic of the coronavirus hit me hard. I wrote about all of it in this blog post. I felt really bad last week, my anxiety was sky high, cried a lot 😒 but since yesterday I feel a bit better. I feel a bit more hopeful, happier and calmer. Even though we are all suffering right now I find it important to feel all my feelings, the good and the bad ones. It’s okay to feel whatever we are feeling during this though time. I just have that feeling in my heart right now that we all will be well πŸ™. I believe in the good things coming. Bad times don’t last forever. That thought makes me feel more hopeful to get through each day. I also am doing a yoga challenge by Yoga Girl. It’s called #30daysofspace. I’m doing yoga and meditation every day πŸ§˜β€β™€οΈ. If anyone of you want to do this too, you can find the free classes on this website http://www.yogagirl.com.

So, I’ve said what I needed to say before I begin with this blog post. I will share in this blog post my favourites of February. Something positive to share is always fine. Some things aren’t relevant anymore but I will still share them. In this blog post I will share about the tickets we bought to go to Spain πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ, new stationery, presents I got from my friend and the walks I took in the park with my mother.

Things I did with my lovely family πŸ‘ͺ:

Bought fly tickets to Spain πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΈβœˆοΈ

My daddy bought fly tickets for my mother and I to go on the first of April and at the end of June. Unfortunately, we can’t go on the first of April because of the virus 😭. Spain is also on a lockdown and no flights are going. Fortunately, we could changed the tickets to go at the end of May. I hope that will be possible. Otherwise we still have tickets to go at the end of June till September. We do really hope to just enjoy Summer time and that this is all over soon. I love Spain so much. I miss it. My daddy also is going in August. Let’s hope it’s possible. It would be also otherwise a waste of money.

Drinking hot chocolate with pie at the Hema β˜•πŸ˜‹

I love the Dutch shop Hema so much. I went there some days with my mother in February. We drank a delicious mint tea, hot chocolate together with a delicious piece of pie. I ate one time a pie of chocolate and my mother had one of apple. It was all SO yummy! 😍

Walks in the park 🌳🌞

I love to live near to a park. I love to take walks in the park. There were some sunny days so we enjoyed it even though it’s still cold. After the walk we loved to drink a hot chocolate and some tea at the restaurant. It’s all closed now because of the virus. I feel grateful to have had these moments. I’m sure they will come again in the future.

Valentine’s Day πŸ’˜

I was super sick on Valentine’s Day. I had to vomit many times and had diarrhea. I love that my parents always care so good about me. My mother bought a yellow/orange rose for my daddy and a card. For me she bought a cute stuffed animal and a card. It made this day much better. I really do think that this day is not only a day for couples but also a day to celebrate with your friends and family. It’s about celebrating every form of love πŸ’–.

Stationery shopping at the mall πŸ›’

I bought a pack of ojo cute animals stickers and emoji stickers. I love to use emojis so much. If I don’t use them I find it boring or sad haha πŸ˜‚. Furthermore, I bought hangtag stickers with a wildlife and spring theme. They also have some cute quotes on them. Lastly, I bought finelines in the colours of red, blank and blue, universe washi tape, 50 envelopes and glue. You never have enough stationery haha!!

Easter theme stationery 🐰🐣

I also bought some beautiful new stationery with an Easter theme in Action, my favourite shop here. I bought loads of stickers with an Easter and Spring theme. The foam stickers have cute bunnies, chickens and sheeps on them. The Easter sticker sheets include 190 stickers. They are all so colourful. I love them all so much.

Watching The Red Turtle & The Little Mermaid πŸ’πŸ§œβ€β™€οΈ

I watched some nice movies with my parents. I watched The Red Turtle which is a movie directed by Michael Dudok de Wit. It’s produced by Studio Ghibli. It’s a kinda strange movie but I loved it. It’s beautiful made. Not much is happening in the movie but it’s very calming to watch it. I also watched The Little Mermaid with my mother. It’s really bad I hadn’t watch it before. I need to catch up on many Disney movies! I love this movie so much and I also have a shirt of it. I’m a mermaid forever πŸ§œβ€β™€οΈπŸŒŠ. I loved the music in this movie and the underwater world so much. It’s so beautiful.

Things I did with my friends πŸ’•:

Tickets for Eurovision Song Contest 2020 🎟️🎢

I could have not placed this now on my favourites because it’s cancelled but I still was happy about it. I also think that the tickets are valid for next year too. I bought tickets for the family show because the liveshows were much more expensive. I can’t wait to go next year with my friend! Eurovision is one of my favourite events in the year and seeing the Netherlands winning last year was one of my most beautiful days in life. Duncan made history. It has been 44 years since The Netherlands didn’t won.

Presents from my friend 🎁

My dear friend Shame came to my house at the end of January and we also ate some delicious tapas. I still didn’t share the presents I got from her for my birthday last year and Valentine’s Day this year. She got me a beautiful mug with a picture of us this Valentine’s Day. I loved it!!! I also got a beautiful Christmas card, birthday card, foaming shower gel from Rituals and Dove products such as shower oil and body lotion. It smells so well and makes my skin so soft. I also got some violet nail polish which is my fav colour πŸ’…πŸ’œ. I’m so thankful for these presents and for our friendship. Friends forevah! πŸ˜πŸ™

Other amazing things of February ✨:

Yoga with Adriene at home πŸ§˜β€β™€οΈ

I’m doing a lot of yoga and meditation right now at home. It helps me so much to stay grounded and more calm. I love Yoga with Adriene. You can find her videos on Youtube. I love the yoga mat I got from my brother and his wife for Sinterklaas last year. I’m using it every day now. I love the videos of calming my anxiety, releasing back pain and shoulder pain. Adriene is so amazing, love her!

Buying stationery online at Etsy πŸ›οΈ

So I love to support small businesses because it’s so important. They have much more cute and amazing stuff. They are mostly handmade. I bought beautiful colourful and floral 🌼 print envelopes from the shop AmethystCardsShop from France. They are so beautiful. I’m really happy about them. I also bought beautiful writing paper with animals on it such as panda’s 🐼, cats 🐱 and foxes 🦊. This writing paper is from the shop MikuCatDesigns from Spain. I really like it. It’s too beautiful to use it haha.

New serie Luimelia πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ

There’s a new amazing Spanish serie which is called Luimelia. I already love the Spanish serie Amar es para siempre (love is forever). Amelia and Luisita are already being actresses in this serie. They are representing a lesbian couple in the 70s in Spain. I love them so much. They are so beautiful 😍🌈. The spinoff of Luimelia is amazing as it shows their relationship nowadays. The serie also includes the theme of feminism, the lgbt+ community and social media. The episodes only last 10 minutes and there are 6 of them. It’s really nice. I loved it. They already announced a second and third season.

Thank you all for reading this blog post. What was your favourite thing from my list? Do you love my new stationery? Which Disney movie is your favourite? Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina

Coronavirus: Is this a wake up call for the world?! πŸŒ

Hola lovelies πŸ’•,

I know all we can talk about now in the world is the coronavirus (Covid-19). I wanted to post a blog post about some happy stuff such as some book reviews but I really need to talk about this. I have to describe my feelings and thoughts on it as I always do with important topics such as mental health, feminism, injustice in the world and other topics. I need to let my thoughts go and write it down here or I will feel that I explode πŸ˜₯. My mind is so full these days. I’m not doing okay.

So, I can’t sleep well anymore. I feel so bad and anxious. I’m crying every day 😒. I don’t know how to cope. I have cramps in my stomach. It’s in times I didn’t felt so bad. This virus only increased my anxiety. How can I feel less anxious when the situation is getting worse every day and people are dying? I feel hopeless. There’s an outbreak of a pandemic in the world right now. The coronavirus feels like the flu but it’s worse because you have fever, cough and it effects your lungs. It all began in China in December. They eat a lot of strange food there such as living animals such as cats, dogs and whatever. My daddy said that the virus comes from bats. I’m of course not a doctor and don’t know much about viruses but all we know is that it’s spreading to every country. If I’m affected I could infect three other people.

I have sometimes health anxiety so I’m also a bit worried to get this virus to be honest. I think it’s normal that we are worried because our health is the most important thing in life. What I’m also worried about is the people who are vulnerable and the elderly people. My father for example has diabetics so it could be dangerous for him. What I don’t like about what’s happening now is that many people especially young people think oh only the old people die or the sick ones. That’s being so EGOISTIC. Writing this I feel tears in my eyes coming because I CARE. I care sometimes way too much about people, this earth and everyone because of being a highly sensitive person and also suffering from anxiety. I care about someone dying being 75 years old of coronavirus even though I don’t know that person. It could be your father, daughter, grandmother. Every one deserves a good life and deserves to live and be treaten well πŸ’–πŸ™.

Everything is cancelled right now 🚫. In The Netherlands there are no concerts, theater, cinema, sport events happening anymore and all schools are closed. I’m worried about that Eurovision in May will be cancelled too. I hope to go another day. I was so happy when this year began because of this event and good stuff. I’m worried about my friends in Italy being locked down. Spain has now declared an emergency state. I’m worried about my family and friends there. They only can leave the house for meds, work or to go to the supermarket. My mother and I are supposed to go in two weeks but that isn’t possible anymore. Tonight they closed the borders. It makes me sad to not be able to go as we never experienced this. None of us does. It feels lik a movie but it’s happening and it’s real. Scary stuff 😒. I just hope we can enjoy Summer time 🌞 in Spain because otherwise I will get so depressed and anxious. I don’t like Summer in The Netherlands because the sun doesn’t shine that much. I’m just always so happy in Spain. Holy week in Spain is cancelled too. I would have to go to the dentist in Spain too but right now it isn’t an emegerncy as I have no pain.

I’m a highly sensitive person, an empath and suffer from anxiety. This is maybe not the best combination in the midst of the Coronavirus. I care always so much about others and everything that it all affects me emotionally. I suffer more but I also love more. I’m here for all the ones in need. You can always talk to me. We are not alone πŸ’ͺ We are all in this together.

I just got inspired to write this post too because of Melissa Wells. Maybe everything what’s happening now is a wake up call for the damn world. Care about the elderly. Help people in need. Think of the ones working in the hospital sector and supermarkts. I’m seeing also very good deeds this week such as people donating blood in Spain for the people who need it. Doctors from China are helping Italy and Spain with medical products. The supermarkets are almost empty here and also in the rest of the world. I don’t find that at all funny. Maybe this pandemic virus is a wake up call for the world like that we have to be more compassionate, less egostic and think of others. Don’t buy so much stuff in the supermarkets because then someone else can’t buy toilet paper or hand gel or food. Think more of others than of yourself.

All people think of nowadays is me, myself and I. It’s the wrong way. We are all human and we all long for the same things such as food security, love, safety and being healthy. I also feel that this lack of control and uncertainty is making me more anxious. All governments and society thinks about is money and power. I’m a hippie by heart and just never feel like I approve with the society we are living in. Maybe more people feel that way.

Citizens have to be responsible for their actions too. In Italy and Spain they aren’t allowed to go outside or have fun with friends in some bar. Take these measures seriously. Many young people can’t die from it, but if you do get infected you can make others infected like people who are in a vulnerable state or older people. Your actions could be the death of someone else. Buy responsibly πŸ›’. My mother wanted to buy paracetamol today and saw everyone being greedy and getting them. That isn’t the way to handle things in life. I saw a picture where Italy has almost no pollution in the air and is clear. You see, we can fight climate change all together πŸ’ͺπŸ€—. I saw people donating loads of blood in Spain. Good things happen every day. We can all make a change in this world.

I will stay mostly at home now. It’s time to slow down. It’s time to help others and not think of me, myself and I. Let’s be compassionate, solidair and less egoistic. Follow the health instructions. Don’t buy everything you see in the supermarkets because then there will be nothing left for others. We have to be all strong together and help each other. We are all in this together. I’m also anxious right now but I hope this situation will be solved as long as we take all measures seriously. Wash your hands well and focus less on social media. I also have to watch less news as that only increase my anxiety and doesn’t solve anything. We will see what will happening the coming days. Stay safe at home 🏑, read books πŸ“š, blog, watch series and movies 🎬, or listen to podcasts. There are so many nice things to do at home. We don’t always have to be outside to have fun.

It’s time that countries work together with each other to combate this pandemic of Coronavirus. We are all together in this. 2020 is the year that will change our view of the world because of this health crisis. We will make it out stronger and hopefully we will learn to be more responsible for this earth and for all its people πŸŒπŸ’•.

At the end, everything will be allright. Take care, stay safe and love because that will never be cancelled πŸ’–πŸ’‹πŸ€—βœ¨I’m here for you all. I love you all so much!

Thank you all for reading this important blog post. I hope it didn’t sound depressing. I just wanted to share the good and the bad like always. How do you feel about the Coronavirus? Are you anxious? How’s it in your country? What do you do to calm yourself down? I really need some support right now. Let me know lovelies. I will speak to you all in my next blog post.

Much love πŸ’•,

xoxo Christina